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tabindex="0">Volunteer</a></li> <li id="menu-item-461" role="none" class="mobile-only menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-461 inline-nav-item" itemprop="name"><a title="Confidentiality" role="menuitem" class="inline-nav-link" href="https://www.nclap.org/confidentiality/" itemprop="url" tabindex="0">Confidentiality</a></li> <li id="menu-item-399" role="none" class="mobile-only menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-399 inline-nav-item" itemprop="name"><a title="Contact" role="menuitem" class="inline-nav-link" href="https://www.nclap.org/contact/" itemprop="url" tabindex="0">Contact</a></li> </ul> </nav> </div> </header> <main class="main"> <section class="hero interior with-image"> <div class="container"> <div class="hero-content"> <h1 class="page-title">Over Functioning</h1><p>Law practice requires us to subvert our own needs, feelings, and values in order to zealously advocate for our clients. When this crosses the line into unhealthy behavior in our personal lives, we may become preoccupied with meeting the needs of others while ignoring our own needs.</p> </div> </div> <div class="hero-image"><img width="2560" height="508" src="https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/over-functioning-hero@2x-scaled.webp" class="attachment-full size-full" alt="" loading="eager" decoding="async" fetchpriority="high" srcset="https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/over-functioning-hero@2x-scaled.webp 2560w, https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/over-functioning-hero@2x-300x60.webp 300w, https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/over-functioning-hero@2x-1170x232.webp 1170w, https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/over-functioning-hero@2x-768x153.webp 768w" sizes="(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px" /></div></section> <div class="main-content over-functioning clearfix"> <div class="section-components"> <section class="section content-section"> <div class="is-grid content-grid image-right"> <div class="content-grid-column content-flow"> <h2 class="section-title">Helpers By Nature</h2> <div class="content-flow"><p>Many lawyers go into law because we are helpers by nature. We care about people and want to provide solutions to those in distress. This is a noble aim. As paid professional problem solvers, we take on the task of trying to solve other people’s problems. What can happen over time, however, is that we begin to overly identify with the “fixer/helper/rescuer” role, and that role begins to cross over into other areas of our life. We unconsciously “need to be needed.” This form of over-functioning can occur in any type of relationship: family, work, friendship, romantic/intimate, peer or community. Sometimes we are overly identified with that role from an early age and going into the law “makes sense” for that part of our personality.</p> </div> </div> <div class="content-grid-media"><img width="768" height="512" src="https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/over-functioning-1@2x-768x512.webp" class="attachment-medium_large size-medium_large" alt="" decoding="async" srcset="https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/over-functioning-1@2x-768x512.webp 768w, https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/over-functioning-1@2x-300x200.webp 300w, https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/over-functioning-1@2x.webp 1110w" sizes="(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px" /></div> </div> </section> <section class="section content-section pad-top-zero"> <div class="is-grid content-grid image-left"> <div class="content-grid-column content-flow"> <h2 class="section-title">Meeting Others’ Needs While Ignoring Our Own</h2> <div class="content-flow"><p>The profession requires us to subvert our own needs and feelings in order to zealously advocate for the needs and desires of our clients (regardless of how we might feel about the client’s desires). When this crosses the line into unhealthy behavior in our personal lives, we place a lower priority on our own needs and become preoccupied with meeting the needs of others. It becomes a pattern of pre-occupation with the actions and feelings of another person or people while ignoring our own feelings and needs. When we do finally acknowledge our feelings, we usually want to blame those who need rescuing, not realizing we have set ourselves up. Or we feel guilty for taking care of ourselves (or wanting to take care of ourselves).</p> </div> </div> <div class="content-grid-media"><img width="768" height="512" src="https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/over-functioning-2@2x-768x512.webp" class="attachment-medium_large size-medium_large" alt="" decoding="async" srcset="https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/over-functioning-2@2x-768x512.webp 768w, https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/over-functioning-2@2x-300x200.webp 300w, https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/over-functioning-2@2x.webp 1110w" sizes="(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px" /></div> </div> </section> <section class="section simple-section checked-list list-columns list-three-columns with-limited-border centered-title"> <div class="container content-flow"> <h2 class="section-title">Warning Signs</h2> <div class="content-flow"><ul> <li>Saying yes when we want to (or ought to) say no</li> <li>Saying yes without having considered whether we really want to do something</li> <li>Anticipate others’ needs, but others do not do the same for us</li> <li>Surrounded by seemingly “needy” people</li> <li>More concerned about another person’s problem(s) than he/she is</li> <li>Doing more to solve another person’s problem(s) than he/she is</li> <li>Getting involved in trying to solve another person’s problem(s) without him/her asking for our help</li> <li>Making “helpful suggestions” repeatedly, even after the suggestions are being ignored or being told the suggestions are not welcome</li> <li>Putting others’ needs above our own (for example, paying someone else’s bills while our own bills are unpaid)</li> <li>Inability to identify our own needs</li> <li>Feelings of guilt when stating our own needs</li> <li>Feelings of guilt when saying no</li> <li>Shielding others from the consequences of his/her actions</li> <li>Feelings of victimization or helplessness</li> <li>Blaming ourselves when things go wrong</li> <li>Ignore and/or rationalize problems in intimate relationships</li> </ul> </div> </div> </section> <section class="section related-articles-section section-light"> <div class="container"> <h2 class="section-title">Related Information</h2> <div class="related-grid is-grid"> <div class="article-card"> <a href="https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Connecting-the-Dots.pdf" class="article-card-link" title="Connecting the Dots" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"> <div class="article-card-content"> <h3 class="article-title">Connecting the Dots</h3> <span class="arrow-link">Download PDF &rsaquo;</span> </div> </a> </div> </div> </div> </section> </div> </div> </main> <footer class="footer"> <section class="section cta-section section-light-alt"> <div class="container text-center"> <h2 class="section-title">Get in Touch</h2> <div class="content-flow"><p>Ready to get started or simply have some questions? 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