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<!doctype html><html lang="en"><head><title data-rh="true">When You Hit Rock Bottom, The Only Way Is Up | by Purbita Chakraborty | Black Bear | Medium</title><meta data-rh="true" charset="utf-8"/><meta data-rh="true" name="viewport" content="width=device-width,minimum-scale=1,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1"/><meta data-rh="true" name="theme-color" content="#000000"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:app:name:iphone" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:app:id:iphone" content="828256236"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:ios:app_name" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:ios:app_store_id" content="828256236"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:android:package" content="com.medium.reader"/><meta data-rh="true" property="fb:app_id" content="542599432471018"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:site_name" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:type" content="article"/><meta data-rh="true" property="article:published_time" content="2024-10-28T16:48:57.407Z"/><meta data-rh="true" name="title" content="When You Hit Rock Bottom, The Only Way Is Up | by Purbita Chakraborty | Black Bear | Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:title" content="When You Hit Rock Bottom, The Only Way Is Up"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:android:url" content="medium://p/c47c2f6e4358"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:ios:url" content="medium://p/c47c2f6e4358"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:android:app_name" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" name="description" content="It was a bitterly cold winter night, right before Christmas when I found myself wandering the empty streets alone, tears rolling down my cheeks despite all the efforts of hiding them. 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ab cp"><div class="speechify-ignore bh l"><div class="iv iw ix iy iz ab"><div><div class="ab ja"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><a rel="noopener follow" href="/@purbita.chakraborty?source=post_page---byline--c47c2f6e4358--------------------------------"><div class="l jb jc by jd je"><div class="l fj"><img alt="Purbita Chakraborty" class="l fd by dd de cx" src="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:88:88/1*uuxX9hDDlvBffs0jeMhhEA.jpeg" width="44" height="44" loading="lazy" data-testid="authorPhoto"/><div class="jf by l dd de fs n jg ft"></div></div></div></a></div></div><div class="jh ab fj"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><a href="https://medium.com/black-bear-recovery?source=post_page---byline--c47c2f6e4358--------------------------------" rel="noopener follow"><div class="l ji jj by jd jk"><div class="l fj"><img alt="Black Bear" class="l fd by br jl cx" src="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:48:48/1*vplg3jD0s1fLFIZYF8eEwg.png" width="24" height="24" 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class="pw-post-body-paragraph ok ol hd om b ig on oo op ij oq or os ot ou ov ow ox oy oz pa pb pc pd pe pf gw bk">It was a bitterly cold winter night, right before Christmas when I found myself wandering the empty streets alone, tears rolling down my cheeks despite all the efforts of hiding them.</p><p id="0d77" class="pw-post-body-paragraph ok ol hd om b ig on oo op ij oq or os ot ou ov ow ox oy oz pa pb pc pd pe pf gw bk">I haven’t cried in public in ages. But I couldn’t control it anymore. Luckily, no one was out there to see me in that situation. The houses were decorated beautifully with lights and Christmas stars, but I paid no attention. I was in complete distress.</p><p id="342a" class="pw-post-body-paragraph ok ol hd om b ig on oo op ij oq or os ot ou ov ow ox oy oz pa pb pc pd pe pf gw bk">I had a huge fight with my husband, I don't remember anymore why (it was probably something insignificant), and had stormed out of the house. The tears made my nose runny, but I had forgotten the damn tissue paper while coming out in a rage, also ignoring that I had a fever.</p><p id="eafb" class="pw-post-body-paragraph ok ol hd om b ig on oo op ij oq or os ot ou ov ow ox oy oz pa pb pc pd pe pf gw bk">That was one of the lowest moments in my life.</p><p id="d2b1" class="pw-post-body-paragraph ok ol hd om b ig on oo op ij oq or os ot ou ov ow ox oy oz pa pb pc pd pe pf gw bk">I was unemployed for over a decade. I had no income, no financial independence, and naturally, no self-worth. My relationship with my husband was getting complicated, to say it lightly. To add a cherry on the cake, my father had just died, a very sudden and unexpected death, leaving me feeling guilty for life (that’s another long story).</p></div></div></div></div></section></div></div></article></div><div class="l"></div><footer class="pg ph pi pj pk pl pm pn gv ab q po jk c"><div class="l ae"><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div class="ab cp pp"><div class="ab q lu"><div class="pq l"><span class="l pr ps pt e d"><div class="ab q lu lv"><div class="pw-multi-vote-icon fj gt lw lx ly"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="footerClapButton" rel="noopener follow" 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