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The "Bab" Ballads/The Folly of Brown - Wikisource, the free online library

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<bdi dir="ltr"><a href="/wiki/The_%22Bab%22_Ballads" title="The &quot;Bab&quot; Ballads">The &quot;Bab&quot; Ballads</a></bdi></div><table class="pr_quality" title="6 validated pages, 0 only proofread pages and 0 not proofread pages"><tr><td class="quality4" style="width: 100%;"></td><td class="quality3" style="width: 0%;"></td><td class="quality2" style="width: 0%;"></td><td class="quality1" style="width: 0%;"></td><td class="quality0" style="width: 0%;"></td><td class="qualitye" style="width: 0%;"></td></tr></table></div></div> <div id="contentSub2"></div> <div id="jump-to-nav"></div> <a class="mw-jump-link" href="#mw-head">Jump to navigation</a> <a class="mw-jump-link" href="#searchInput">Jump to search</a> <div id="mw-content-text" class="mw-body-content"><div class="mw-content-ltr mw-parser-output" lang="en" dir="ltr"><div class="ws-noexport"><style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r14666768">.mw-parser-output .wst-header .wst-header-mainblock{border:1px solid #ACA;background-color:#E6F2E6;color:#202122}.mw-parser-output .wst-header .wst-header-notes{border-bottom:1px solid #A0A0A0;background-color:#FAFAFF;color:#202122}.mw-parser-output .wst-header .contributor-text{font-style:italic}.mw-parser-output .wst-header #header-title-text{font-weight:bold}.mw-parser-output .wst-header #ws-data{display:none}.mw-parser-output .wst-header #ws-data.ws-data-show{display:block}.mw-parser-output .wst-header .wst-header-missing-params{margin-right:auto;margin-left:auto;border-top:1px solid #CCC;border-right:1px solid #CCC;border-bottom:1px hidden transparent;border-left:1px solid #CCC;text-align:center}.mw-parser-output .wst-header .wst-header-missing-params .error{font-size:90%;font-weight:bold}</style></div><style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r14182871">.mw-parser-output .wst-header-mainblock{margin:4px auto 4px auto;padding:0 3px;display:flex;align-items:center}.mw-parser-output .wst-header-back,.mw-parser-output .wst-header-forward{display:flex;flex:1 4 100%;min-width:min-content;align-items:center;font-size:.9em}.mw-parser-output .wst-header-nav-empty{visibility:hidden}.mw-parser-output .wst-header-back{justify-content:flex-start;text-align:left}.mw-parser-output .wst-header-central-cell{flex:4 1 100%;max-width:max-content;text-align:center}.mw-parser-output .wst-header-forward{justify-content:flex-end;text-align:right}@media(max-width:768px){.mw-parser-output .wst-header-mainblock{flex-wrap:wrap}.mw-parser-output .wst-header-central-cell{flex:0 0 100%;order:-2;width:auto}.mw-parser-output .wst-header-back,.mw-parser-output .wst-header-forward{width:auto}}.mw-parser-output .wst-header-notes{display:inline-block;border-collapse:collapse;border-spacing:0;empty-cells:hide;font-size:.9em;line-height:1.4;margin:0 auto 4px auto;width:100%}.mw-parser-output .wst-header-left{float:left}</style><div class="ws-header wst-header-structure wst-unknown wst-header ws-header ws-noexport noprint dynlayout-exempt"><div class="wst-header-mainblock wst-unknown-mainblock headertemplate"><div class="wst-header-back searchaux wst-unknown-back"><div class="wst-header-back-arrow">←</div><div class="wst-header-back-link"><a href="/wiki/The_%22Bab%22_Ballads/To_My_Bride" title="The &quot;Bab&quot; Ballads/To My Bride">To My Bride</a></div></div><div class="wst-header-central-cell wst-unknown-central-cell"><span class="wst-header-title wst-unknown-title"><span id="header-title-text">The Folly of Brown</span> (<span id="header-year-text">1867</span>)<br id="header-title-break" /><span class="contributor-text">by&#160;<span class="fn"><a href="/wiki/Author:W.S._Gilbert" class="mw-redirect" title="Author:W.S. Gilbert">W.S. Gilbert</a></span></span></span></div><div class="wst-header-forward searchaux wst-unknown-forward"><div class="wst-header-forward-link"><a href="/wiki/The_%22Bab%22_Ballads/Sir_Macklin" title="The &quot;Bab&quot; Ballads/Sir Macklin">Sir Macklin</a></div><div class="wst-header-forward-arrow">→</div></div></div><div class="ws-noexport" id="ws-data" style="speak:none"><span id="ws-article-id">1689725</span><span id="ws-title">The Folly of Brown</span><span id="ws-year">1867</span><span id="ws-author">W.S. Gilbert</span></div></div> <div class="prp-pages-output" lang="en"> <style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r13085798/mw-parser-output/.prp-pages-output">.mw-parser-output .prp-pages-output .bigfirstline::first-line{font-weight:bold;font-size:120%}</style><span><span class="pagenum ws-pagenum" id="74" data-page-number="74" data-page-name="Page:The Bab Ballads.djvu/76" data-page-index="76" data-page-quality="4" title="Page:The_Bab_Ballads.djvu/76"><span id="pageindex_76" class="pagenum-inner ws-noexport">&#8203;</span></span></span><figure class="mw-halign-center" typeof="mw:File"><a href="/wiki/File:Bab_Ballads_074.png" class="mw-file-description"><img src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/da/Bab_Ballads_074.png/150px-Bab_Ballads_074.png" decoding="async" width="150" height="207" class="mw-file-element" srcset="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/da/Bab_Ballads_074.png/225px-Bab_Ballads_074.png 1.5x, //upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/da/Bab_Ballads_074.png/300px-Bab_Ballads_074.png 2x" data-file-width="754" data-file-height="1040" /></a><figcaption></figcaption></figure> <div class="wst-dhr" style="visibility:hidden; line-height:100%;">&#160;</div> <style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r13089542">.mw-parser-output .wst-center{text-align:center;display:table;margin:0 auto 0 auto}.mw-parser-output .wst-center.wst-center-nomargin>p{margin-bottom:0}</style><div class="wst-center tiInherit wst-center-nomargin"> <p><span style="font-size: 120%;">THE FOLLY OF BROWN.</span> </p> </div> <div class="wst-dhr" style="visibility:hidden; line-height:100%;">&#160;</div> <link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r13089542"><div class="wst-center tiInherit wst-center-nomargin"> <p><span class="smallcaps" style="font-variant:small-caps;">By a General Agent.</span> </p> </div> <div class="wst-dhr" style="visibility:hidden; line-height:100%;">&#160;</div> <style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r14263552">.mw-parser-output .wst-block-center{display:table;margin:0 auto;padding:0;position:relative;width:auto;max-width:100%;height:auto;text-align:initial}.mw-parser-output .wst-block-center-title{display:table-caption;text-align:center}</style><div class="wst-block-center"> <div class="poem"> <p><style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r13425350">.mw-parser-output .dropinitial{float:left;text-indent:0}.mw-parser-output .dropinitial .dropinitial-fl{float:left;position:relative;vertical-align:top;line-height:1}.mw-parser-output .dropinitial .dropinitial-mid .dropinitial-initial{float:left;line-height:1em;text-indent:0;font-size:3em;margin:0 0.1em 0 0}</style><span class="dropinitial drop-initial-no-image"><span class="dropinitial-mid"><span class="dropinitial-initial">I</span></span></span> KNEW a boor—a clownish card, <br /> &#8195;(His only friends were pigs and cows and <br /> The poultry of a small farmyard) <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Who came into two hundred thousand. </span><br /> <br /> Good fortune worked no change in <span class="smallcaps" style="font-variant:small-caps;">Brown</span>,<br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Though she's a mighty social chymist; </span><br /> He was a clown—and by a clown <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">I do not mean a pantomimist. </span><br /> <br /> </p> </div>&#32;<span><span class="pagenum ws-pagenum" id="75" data-page-number="75" data-page-name="Page:The Bab Ballads.djvu/77" data-page-index="77" data-page-quality="4" title="Page:The_Bab_Ballads.djvu/77"><span id="pageindex_77" class="pagenum-inner ws-noexport">&#8203;</span></span></span><div class="poem"> <p>It left him quiet, calm, and cool, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Though hardly knowing what a crown was— </span><br /> You can't imagine what a fool <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Poor rich, uneducated <span class="smallcaps" style="font-variant:small-caps;">Brown</span> was!</span><br /> <br /> He scouted all who wished to come <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">And give him monetary schooling; </span><br /> And I propose to give you some <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Idea of his insensate fooling. </span><br /> <br /> I formed a company or two— <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">(Of course I don't know what the rest meant, </span><br /> <i>I</i> formed them solely with a view <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">To help him to a sound investment). </span><br /> <br /> Their objects were—their only cares— <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">To justify their Boards in showing </span><br /> A handsome dividend on shares, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">And keep their good promoter going. </span><br /> <br /> But no—the lout prefers his brass, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Though shares <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/par_value" class="extiw" title="w:par value">at par</a> I freely proffer: </span><br /> Yes—will it be believed?—the ass <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Declines, with thanks, my well-meant offer! </span><br /> <br /> He added, with a bumpkin's grin, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">(A weakly intellect denoting) </span><br /> He'd rather not invest it in <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">A company of my promoting! </span><br /> <br /> </p> </div>&#32;<span><span class="pagenum ws-pagenum" id="76" data-page-number="76" data-page-name="Page:The Bab Ballads.djvu/78" data-page-index="78" data-page-quality="4" title="Page:The_Bab_Ballads.djvu/78"><span id="pageindex_78" class="pagenum-inner ws-noexport">&#8203;</span></span></span><div class="poem"> <p>&#160;<br /> "You have two hundred 'thou' or more," <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Said I. "You'll waste it, lose it, lend it: </span><br /> Come, take my furnished second floor, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">I'll gladly show you how to spend it."</span> </p> </div> </div> <div class="wst-dhr" style="visibility:hidden; line-height:100%;">&#160;</div> <figure class="mw-halign-center" typeof="mw:File"><a href="/wiki/File:Bab_Ballads_076.png" class="mw-file-description"><img src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/70/Bab_Ballads_076.png/300px-Bab_Ballads_076.png" decoding="async" width="300" height="290" class="mw-file-element" srcset="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/70/Bab_Ballads_076.png/450px-Bab_Ballads_076.png 1.5x, //upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/70/Bab_Ballads_076.png/600px-Bab_Ballads_076.png 2x" data-file-width="1491" data-file-height="1440" /></a><figcaption></figcaption></figure> <div class="wst-dhr" style="visibility:hidden; line-height:100%;">&#160;</div> <link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r14263552"><div class="wst-block-center"> <div class="poem"> <p>&#160;<br /> But will it be believed that he, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">With grin upon his face of poppy, </span><br /> Declined my aid, while thanking me <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">For what he called my "philanthroppy"? </span><br /> <br /> Some blind, suspicious fools rejoice <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">In doubting friends who wouldn't harm them;</span><br /> They will not hear the charmer's voice, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">However wisely he may charm them. </span><br /> <br /> </p> </div>&#32;<span><span class="pagenum ws-pagenum" id="77" data-page-number="77" data-page-name="Page:The Bab Ballads.djvu/79" data-page-index="79" data-page-quality="4" title="Page:The_Bab_Ballads.djvu/79"><span id="pageindex_79" class="pagenum-inner ws-noexport">&#8203;</span></span></span><div class="poem"> <p>I showed him that his coat, all dust, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Top boots and cords provoked compassion, </span><br /> And proved that men of station must <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Conform to the decrees of fashion. </span> </p> </div> </div> <div class="wst-dhr" style="visibility:hidden; line-height:100%;">&#160;</div> <figure class="mw-halign-center" typeof="mw:File"><a href="/wiki/File:Bab_Ballads_077.png" class="mw-file-description"><img src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b4/Bab_Ballads_077.png/150px-Bab_Ballads_077.png" decoding="async" width="150" height="256" class="mw-file-element" srcset="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b4/Bab_Ballads_077.png/225px-Bab_Ballads_077.png 1.5x, //upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b4/Bab_Ballads_077.png/300px-Bab_Ballads_077.png 2x" data-file-width="825" data-file-height="1407" /></a><figcaption></figcaption></figure> <div class="wst-dhr" style="visibility:hidden; line-height:100%;">&#160;</div> <link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r14263552"><div class="wst-block-center"> <div class="poem"> <p>I showed him where to buy his hat, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">To coat him, trouser him, and boot him; </span><br /> But no—he wouldn't hear of that— <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">"He didn't think the style would suit him!" </span><br /> <br /> I offered him a county seat, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">And made no end of an oration; </span><br /> I made it certainty complete, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">And introduced the deputation. </span><br /> <br /> </p> </div>&#32;<span><span class="pagenum ws-pagenum" id="78" data-page-number="78" data-page-name="Page:The Bab Ballads.djvu/80" data-page-index="80" data-page-quality="4" title="Page:The_Bab_Ballads.djvu/80"><span id="pageindex_80" class="pagenum-inner ws-noexport">&#8203;</span></span></span><div class="poem"> <p>But no—the clown my prospects blights— <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">(The worth of birth it surely teaches!) </span><br /> "Why should I want to spend my nights <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">In Parliament, a-making speeches? </span><br /> <br /> "I haven't never been to school— <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">I ain't had not no eddication— </span><br /> And I should surely be a fool <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">To publish that to all the nation!" </span> </p> </div> </div> <div class="wst-dhr" style="visibility:hidden; line-height:100%;">&#160;</div> <figure class="mw-halign-center" typeof="mw:File"><a href="/wiki/File:Bab_Ballads_078.png" class="mw-file-description"><img src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/66/Bab_Ballads_078.png/200px-Bab_Ballads_078.png" decoding="async" width="200" height="147" class="mw-file-element" srcset="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/66/Bab_Ballads_078.png/300px-Bab_Ballads_078.png 1.5x, //upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/66/Bab_Ballads_078.png/400px-Bab_Ballads_078.png 2x" data-file-width="1122" data-file-height="825" /></a><figcaption></figcaption></figure> <div class="wst-dhr" style="visibility:hidden; line-height:100%;">&#160;</div> <link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r14263552"><div class="wst-block-center"> <div class="poem"> <p>I offered him a trotting horse— <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">No hack had ever trotted faster— </span><br /> I also offered him, of course, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">A rare, and curious "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/old_master" class="extiw" title="w:old master">old Master</a>." </span><br /> <br /> I offered to procure him weeds— <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Wines fit for one in his position— </span><br /> But, though an ass in all his deeds. <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">He'd learnt the meaning of "commission." </span><br /> <br /> </p> </div>&#32;<span><span class="pagenum ws-pagenum" id="79" data-page-number="79" data-page-name="Page:The Bab Ballads.djvu/81" data-page-index="81" data-page-quality="4" title="Page:The_Bab_Ballads.djvu/81"><span id="pageindex_81" class="pagenum-inner ws-noexport">&#8203;</span></span></span><div class="poem"> <p>He called me "thief" the other day, <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">And daily from his door he thrusts me; </span><br /> Much more of this, and soon I may <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Begin to think that <span class="smallcaps" style="font-variant:small-caps;">Brown</span> mistrusts me.</span><br /> &#160;<br /> So deaf to all sound Reason's rule <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">This poor uneducated clown is, </span><br /> You can<i>not</i> fancy what a fool <br /> <span class="mw-poem-indented" style="display: inline-block; margin-inline-start: 1em;">Poor rich uneducated <span class="smallcaps" style="font-variant:small-caps;">Brown</span> is. </span> </p> </div> </div> <p><br /> </p> <link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r13089542"><div class="wst-center tiInherit wst-center-nomargin"> <p><span typeof="mw:File"><a href="/wiki/File:Bab_ballads_textdiv_4.png" class="mw-file-description"><img src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/57/Bab_ballads_textdiv_4.png/125px-Bab_ballads_textdiv_4.png" decoding="async" width="125" height="12" class="mw-file-element" srcset="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/57/Bab_ballads_textdiv_4.png/188px-Bab_ballads_textdiv_4.png 1.5x, //upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/57/Bab_ballads_textdiv_4.png/250px-Bab_ballads_textdiv_4.png 2x" data-file-width="740" data-file-height="72" /></a></span> </p> </div>&#32; 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