PTI has delivered on everything it promised!

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clearfix modifier--open px-1 modifier--dropcap modifier--blockquote-border-ends ">   <div class="story__content size-six pt-4 mt-2"><figure class="media one-whole palm--one-whole media--stretch "> <div class="media__item "><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20190426104248im_/https://i.dawn.com/primary/2019/04/5cbd99be9d4ed.jpg" alt=""/></div> </figure> <p> </p> <p class="dropcap">Our political parties may disagree on whether women deserve protection in Pakistan or not; they may disagree if men should marry 12-year-old girls or not; they may disagree whether all Hindus should be converted to Islam or just the girls; they may disagree whether Aurat March organisers should be hanged or not; they might even disagree whether to build a 1,000-foot statue of Imran Khan in Islamabad or a 2000-foot one; but we must commend our lawmakers for setting aside their differences to resolve the most important issue facing the country — their own salaries.</p> <p>It is so heartening to see lawmakers unite across party divides, taking some time out from calling each other blasphemers and wanting to drag each other through the streets.</p> <p>Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) members may hurl gender insults at Bilawal Bhutto and think of Nawaz Sharif as corrupt but they are ready for a <em>mukmuka</em> if it means more money for themselves. At least PTI is delivering on some of its promises — even if it is just the promise of money for lawmakers who jumped ship from Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz to join PTI in 2018. There needs to be some special compensation for them for helping the party run the largest province in the country. </p> <p>The only thing preventing Usman Buzdar from going full Chulbul Pandey of <em>Dabang</em> has been his salary. With more money he, too, could have a Salman Khan body and afford to plaster his face all over Punjab; maybe that way some Punjabis will recognise him and not think that Shahbaz Sharif is still the chief minister. Maybe with extra money Buzdar can finally buy Shahbaz Sharif’s old safari suits. Maybe some people will confuse him for Shahbaz Sharif and respect him a little this way. If all else fails, he can butcher some Jalib poetry on stage for effect.</p> <p>What else is there left for PTI to do? It has accomplished everything in a year. Through the power of photoshop and Fawad Chaudhry’s silver tongue, PTI has delivered on everything it promised. Pakistan has raised a billion dollars for the dam fund; we have built a border wall on the Line of Control and helicopters have been made to offer local travel at 55 rupees per kilometre. We need to reward our lawmakers with increased salaries for all these accomplishments. Poor members of the Punjab Assembly like Pervaiz Elahi, Abdul Aleem Khan and 400 other Chaudhrys really deserve a pay hike from 83,000 rupees to 210,000 rupees. </p> <figure class="media one-whole palm--one-whole media--stretch "> <div class="media__item "><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20190426104248im_/https://i.dawn.com/primary/2019/04/5cbd983153d0f.jpg" alt="Illustration by Rohail Safdar"/></div> <figcaption class="media__caption ">Illustration by Rohail Safdar</figcaption> </figure> <p> </p> <p>With the rupee so devalued, the lawmakers have no options but to increase their own salaries. Their children study abroad so the exchange rate really hits them hard. They also need more money for their summer vacations to America. Asad Umar’s handling of the economy should not mean our poor lawmakers cannot take a summer vacation abroad — it should mean those below the poverty line should die. </p> <p>Do people not realise how hard it is to spend 20,000,000 rupees a month while drawing a salary of 83,000 rupees? This way it will become slightly easier for them to claim they are <em>Sadiq</em>, <em>Ameen</em> and living well within their means. </p> <p>Also, why should Faisal Vawda be the only one with a Lamborghini? I am happy if my tax dollars are used for buying Usman Buzdar a Lamborghini. It is worth the petrol price increase just for the memes that will come out with pictures of Usman Buzdar driving a Lamborghini. </p> <p>Imran Khan would obviously not stand idly by as all this happened. The man who performed push-ups on stage to get into office responded with the strongest action available to him as Prime Minister and leader of PTI — he tweeted about it. </p> <p>Imran Khan even summoned Usman Buzdar but, after looking at him, he decided Buzdar needs more money and went back to not knowing anything about Uighur Muslims. If we ignore the topic long enough, China will love us and give us a lot of money. Nobody will remember a few lakhs given to lawmakers here and there.</p> <p>To combat any criticism of his own party colleagues increasing their salaries, Fawad Chaudhry has already released more pictures of Arif Alvi sleeping at the airport to show austerity. Alvi is hogging all the seats but nothing makes a Pakistani man more relatable than a picture of him taking more than he deserves.</p> <p>If things get worse and people start realising the PTI government is no different from others, the party may just be forced to make Imran Khan sleep on a container for a few weeks to show the country how austere the government is. </p> <p>Remember — treat yourself! </p> <hr/> <p><em>This article is part of the Herald's satire series titled 'Newsbite', originally published in the April 2019 issue. 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title="2019-04-24T14:36:25+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-04-24T14:36:25+05:00">Apr 24, 2019 02:36pm</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>I think this satire was uncalled for, IMO. This is because of pay scales of even 18th grade Govt. employees are much more than the existing salary of a Punjab's MPA. Any managerial position in Pakistani Company provides at least over 100k salary these days then how come MPAs not be paid reasonably? </p> <p>Though PTI lawmakers deviated from their resolution in the Assembly and the hike never took effect, I thought it was very reasonable. Lawmakers in the other provinces are already taking salaries more than 200k per month and IMO, they deservedly getting paid this much.</p> </div> <div class=""> <input type="button" value="Reply" data-name="Ammar Ahmed" class="button p-t-one-eighth p-b-one-eighth px-2 mr-2 comment__reply bg-transparent text-grey size-two rounded-none border hover-bg-image-linear-gradient-lightgray"/> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36815"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Boorha</span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-04-24T21:29:08+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-04-24T21:29:08+05:00">Apr 24, 2019 09:29pm</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>This isn’t satire, it’s sarcasm — the lowest form of wit.</p> </div> <div class=""> <input type="button" value="Reply" data-name="Boorha" class="button p-t-one-eighth p-b-one-eighth px-2 mr-2 comment__reply bg-transparent text-grey size-two rounded-none border hover-bg-image-linear-gradient-lightgray"/> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36817"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Humza</span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-04-25T06:52:47+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-04-25T06:52:47+05:00">Apr 25, 2019 06:52am</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>Loved this piece which shows the cruel joke that the PTI hasd played on the nation. Not only are they directionless but they have done remarkably nothing but fumble things since they have come to power. At least Nawaz Sharif gave us CPEC, a stable rupee and an improving economy.</p> </div> <div class=""> <input type="button" value="Reply" data-name="Humza" class="button p-t-one-eighth p-b-one-eighth px-2 mr-2 comment__reply bg-transparent text-grey size-two rounded-none border hover-bg-image-linear-gradient-lightgray"/> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36821"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Isakhelvi</span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-04-25T13:39:48+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-04-25T13:39:48+05:00">Apr 25, 2019 01:39pm</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>Ha ha ha.....Just shows how pathetic this entire team of PTI is! Wonder how Faisal Vawda has still been able to retain his position after his claims a couple of weeks ago about how pakistani economy is going to create excess jobs within 10 days</p> </div> <div class=""> <input type="button" value="Reply" data-name="Isakhelvi" class="button p-t-one-eighth p-b-one-eighth px-2 mr-2 comment__reply bg-transparent text-grey size-two rounded-none border hover-bg-image-linear-gradient-lightgray"/> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36822"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Isakhelvi</span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-04-25T13:40:24+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-04-25T13:40:24+05:00">Apr 25, 2019 01:40pm</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>@Boorha I know it hurts bro but this PTI team deserves even worse...</p> </div> <div class=""> <input type="button" value="Reply" data-name="Isakhelvi" class="button p-t-one-eighth p-b-one-eighth px-2 mr-2 comment__reply bg-transparent text-grey size-two rounded-none border hover-bg-image-linear-gradient-lightgray"/> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36823"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Isakhelvi</span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-04-25T13:41:04+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-04-25T13:41:04+05:00">Apr 25, 2019 01:41pm</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>@Ammar Ahmed Wow so well deserved that the PM had to intervene to rescind it....</p> </div> <div class=""> <input type="button" value="Reply" 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PTI has delivered on everything it promised! - Herald