Why #ThankYouImran should be trending

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clearfix modifier--open px-1 ">   <span class="label-container"> <span class="badge ">On The Side</span> </span>  <h2 data-layout="story" data-id="1398836" class="story__title size-eleven "><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190414015947/https://herald.dawn.com/news/1398836/why-thankyouimran-should-be-trending" class="story__link">Why #ThankYouImran should be trending </a></h2> <div class=" "><span class="story__byline size-four text-red "><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190414015947/https://herald.dawn.com/authors/10/herald">Herald</a></span> </div><div class=" "><span class="story__time "><span class="timestamp--label">Updated</span> <span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-04-01T16:20:54+05:00"><span class="timestamp__calendar">Apr 01, 2019</span> <span class="timestamp__time">04:20pm</span></span></span> </div>  <div class="block sm-inline-block clearfix"> <div class="social social--iframe float-left my-1 "> <iframe 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style="width:400px;height:260px;background:#fff"> <h3 class="size-seven mb-2">Email</h3> <form accept-charset="utf-8" class="form-vertical emailer" id="email-story" onsubmit="javascript:$.post(this.action, $(this).serialize(), function(data,status,xhr) { $('#email-story').html(data.message);});return false;" method="POST" action="https://web.archive.org/web/20190414015947/https://herald.dawn.com/news/email/1398836"><input class="form-control" type="hidden" name="jscheck" value=""><div class="form-group required"><label class="size-three control-label" for="sender">Your Name<sup>*</sup></label><input class="form-control" required id="sender-2" type="text" name="sender"></div><div class="form-group required"><label class="size-three control-label" for="to">Recipient Email<sup>*</sup></label><input class="form-control" required id="to-2" type="text" name="to"></div><input class="form-control" type="hidden" name="id" value=""><input class="btn mt-2 size-three" type="submit" value="Email"><input class="form-control" type="hidden" name="_token" value=""></form> </div> <div class="social hidden sm-block social--print social--label float-left my-1"> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190414015947/https://herald.dawn.com/news/print/1398836">  Print</a> </div></div> </div>   <div class="template__main clearfix modifier--open px-1 modifier--dropcap modifier--blockquote-border-ends ">   <div class="story__content size-six pt-4 mt-2"><figure class="media one-whole palm--one-whole media--stretch "> <div class="media__item "><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20190414015947im_/https://i.dawn.com/primary/2019/03/5c8f61698a740.jpg" alt=""/></div> </figure> <p> </p> <p class="dropcap">As I lay here in the dark waiting for the electricity to come back after putting my two hungry children to sleep because there was no gas, all I can think about is how inspiring Imran Khan is. </p> <p>People will stop trending #ThankYouObama if they see everything that Imran Khan has promised he will do for Pakistan. We do not need gas, electricity and fundamental human rights when we have hope, and Imran Khan gives me hope. It will be different this time. I had the same feeling when I fell in love with my husband six years ago. He left me for his secretary two years ago. If you are reading this Amjad, I don’t need you, we all have Imran Khan now. </p> <p>If I wanted a prime minister who understood the financial system and economic policy I would have voted for Atif Mian. A prime minister is not a financial expert; this is why the constitution would not have allowed Atif Mian to be prime minister. A prime minister is a feeling and Imran Khan makes everyone feel good.</p> <p>One more video of him doing push-ups and I will vote for him in every election ever. I will pick him over my daughter for class president at her school. I will vote him as the best ice cream flavour at Chaman. Also, #ThankYouImran for increasing the dollar prices. All these pseudo-liberal-<em>fahashists</em> working on the American agenda will now suffer by paying more for their New York vacations. Have fun having your Venti latte from Starbucks when it costs you <em>hazaar rupay</em> you <em>kafirs</em>. </p> <p>I have no dollars so clearly the exchange rate does not bother me. I have never imported anything in my life so I do not care if imports become more expensive. And due to inflation and the lack of jobs, I have no money left so I do not care if taxes increase. All that matters to me is how much more gorgeous our prime minister is than Nawaz Sharif. </p> <figure class="media one-whole palm--one-whole media--stretch "> <div class="media__item "><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20190414015947im_/https://i.dawn.com/primary/2019/03/5c8f698185a5e.jpg" alt=""/></div> </figure> <p> </p> <p>Once the Saudi prince gives him 700 billion dollars, he will distribute it amongst us all. Every Pakistani will get 3,500 dollars, we can just devalue the currency even more then and every dollar will be worth 1,500 rupees. Overnight every Pakistani will have 5.3 million rupees. </p> <p>I, for one, will give half of that money to the dam fund. The middle class does not need five million rupees to survive in Pakistan. Namal College is Pakistan’s education policy, Shaukat Khanum is our health policy and videos of the 1992 World Cup are our sports policy. I will send my children to Namal, get treated at Shaukat Khanum and watch from the stands as Sarfaraz Ahmed wins us our next world cup and gets elected president in 2023. Presidential speeches will never be more than five minutes long — even if they have 50,000 words.</p> <p>We do not need laptops or an income support scheme. We need austerity. We can live our dreams of being rich vicariously through Faisal Vawda playing Counter Strike on the streets of Karachi and driving yellow supercars. </p> <p>The rest of us can pay our taxes, build dams and stay fit because we have no money to eat. #ThankYouImranKhan for this <em>tabdeeli</em>. You have single-handedly prevented the problems of gas leakages. When there is no gas there will be no leakage. There will also be no electricity theft. </p> <p>I can safely sleep in the dark knowing nobody will come to my house and steal my belongings because I have no belongings left to be stolen. </p> <hr/> <p><em>This article is part of the Herald's satire series titled 'Newsbite', originally published in the March 2019 issue. 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class="radWrapper ad__wrapper"> <div id="div-gpt-ad-1437714883223-0" class="ad__wrapper__slot" style="width:670px;height:280px;"> <script>googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('div-gpt-ad-1437714883223-0'); });</script> </div> </div> </div> </div>  </div> </section>  </div> <hr class="my-4 clear--both"/> <section id="comments" class="comments px-4"> <h1 class="comments__label uppercase size-eight ">Comments (6) Closed</h1> <div class="button-container border-3 border-r-0 border-b-0 border-l-0 border-solid border-black"> <button type="button" class="button border-none px-2 py-1 outline-none js-comments-sort-votes ml-1 float-right text-grey uppercase">BEST</button> <button type="button" class="button border-none px-2 py-1 outline-none js-comments-sort-date--new ml-1 float-right text-grey uppercase">NEWEST</button> <button type="button" disabled="disabled" class="button border-none px-2 py-1 outline-none js-comments-sort-date ml-1 float-right text-grey uppercase">OLDEST</button> </div> <br/><br/> <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36196"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Daniyal Mahboob</span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-03-19T03:56:56+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-03-19T03:56:56+05:00">Mar 19, 2019 03:56am</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>Seems like the author was living in a different Pakistan prior to the 2018 Elections.</p> <p><em>trying really hard to avoid a personal Jab, author exposed a few chinks</em></p> </div> <div class=""> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36197"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Shah mir </span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-03-19T08:33:45+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-03-19T08:33:45+05:00">Mar 19, 2019 08:33am</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>Economy can't change in days. It needs years. Three to four</p> </div> <div class=""> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36199"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Faheem khan</span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-03-19T10:02:40+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-03-19T10:02:40+05:00">Mar 19, 2019 10:02am</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>Author??</p> </div> <div class=""> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36202"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Iqbal</span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-03-19T10:44:06+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-03-19T10:44:06+05:00">Mar 19, 2019 10:44am</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>If you’re going to criticize someone using the power of the press, please go ahead, but use your name. Have the courage of conviction of putting your name behind your work. It happens the world over.</p> <p>This satire evidences the level of courage showed by those wearing a burqa while leaving a party so that no one shames them....</p> </div> <div class=""> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36203"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Pak khan</span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-03-19T11:30:05+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-03-19T11:30:05+05:00">Mar 19, 2019 11:30am</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>Same stands true for Bhutto. His supporters just claim he was a visionary leader, wonder what he actually did for the betterment of the people during his rule except "visioning"</p> </div> <div class=""> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  <div class="comment pb-4 mb-4 border--bottom" id="36204"> <div class="row no-gutters"> <div class="col-11"> <div class=""> <span class="comment__author size-four uppercase float-left text-grey">Hasan</span> <span class="timeago comment__date uppercase size-four pb-2 text-grey content-before-dash" title="2019-03-19T11:49:31+05:00"><span class="timestamp--time timeago" title="2019-03-19T11:49:31+05:00">Mar 19, 2019 11:49am</span></span> </div> <div dir="auto" class="comment__body text-grey-light size-six clearfix"><p>Another nice, balanced, objective article from Dawn then!</p> </div> <div class=""> </div> </div> </div>  </div>  </section> </div>  </article> </div> </div> </div> </div> </main> <aside class="pb-4">  <section class="widget theme widget-adsense modifywidget--border-bottom modifywidget--transparent" data-type="adsense" data-id="27"> <div class="widget__header "> <h2 class="widget__title modifywidget--title-off"><span>Desk Mrec Top</span></h2> </div> <div class="widget__main ">  <div class="ad " aria-hidden="true"> <div class="js-ad clearfix" style="max-width:300px;max-height:250px;text-align:center;margin:0 auto;overflow:hidden;"> <div class="radWrapper ad__wrapper"> <div id="div-gpt-ad-1455520357400-3" class="ad__wrapper__slot" style="width:300px;height:250px;"> <script>googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('div-gpt-ad-1455520357400-3'); 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