Secrets to Surviving Infidelity

<!DOCTYPE html> <html lang="en" dir="ltr" prefix="og: https://ogp.me/ns#"> <head> <meta charset="utf-8" /> <meta name="abstract" content="48556" /> <link rel="canonical" href="https://www.press.jhu.edu/books/title/12910/secrets-surviving-infidelity" /> <meta name="twitter:card" content="summary_large_image" /> <meta name="twitter:title" content="Secrets to Surviving Infidelity" /> <meta name="Generator" content="Drupal 10 (https://www.drupal.org); Commerce 2" /> <meta name="MobileOptimized" content="width" /> <meta name="HandheldFriendly" content="true" /> <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" /> <meta name="citation_title" content="Secrets to Surviving Infidelity" /> <meta name="citation_isbn" content="9781421450827" /> <meta name="citation_isbn" content="9781421450834" /> <meta name="citation_isbn" content="9781421450841" /> <meta name="citation_doi" content="10.56021/9781421450827" /> <meta name="citation_publisher" content="Johns Hopkins University Press" /> <meta name="citation_year" content="2025" /> <meta name="citation_author" content="Scott Haltzman, M.D." /> <meta name="twitter:card" content="summary_large_image" /> <meta name="twitter:site" content="@jhupress" /> <meta name="twitter:url" content="https://www.press.jhu.edu/" /> <meta name="og:title" content="Secrets to Surviving Infidelity" /> <meta name="og:image" content="https://www.press.jhu.edu/sites/default/files/covers/9781421450827.jpg" /> <meta name="og:description" content="This is a placeholder description." /> <meta name="title" property="og:title" content="Secrets to Surviving Infidelity" /> <meta name="image" property="og:image" content="https://www.press.jhu.edu/sites/default/files/covers/9781421450827.jpg" /> <meta name="description" property="og:description" content="Now completely updated! A compassionate guide to help couples survive infidelity and improve their relationship.When a couple's trust is shattered by infidelity, healing may seem beyond reach—but it doesn't have to be. This second edition of Secrets to Surviving Infidelity offers a compassionate and practical roadmap toward recovery and reconnection. Through humane insights and step-by-step strategies, Dr. Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and marriage educator, shares how to overcome the pain of betrayal and strengthen relationships in its wake. Whether you are the wronged partner, the one who strayed, or a therapist navigating your clients' infidelity, this book serves as an essential guide to the intricacies of infidelity—from the initial shock and heartache to the complex process of rebuilding trust. This second edition includes new information on:• The evolving definitions of marriage and commitment, with updated language to include those who are in unmarried, committed relationships.• Relationship challenges unique to the LGBTQ+ community • Gender and sex issues • The neuroscience of infidelity and "flame addiction" • Strategies for conflict managementDr. Haltzman combines real-life stories with robust research to illuminate the types of infidelity, the varied motivations behind affairs, and their impacts on relationships. He provides clear guidance on how to end an affair, how to cope with feelings of anger and grief, and how to foster forgiveness and healing. This book can also serve as a preventive tool to explore and strengthen bonds to make relationships affair-resistant. Secrets to Surviving Infidelity is a lifeline for those desperate to recover and safeguard their relationships. 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class="product__description"> <div class="product__awards"></div> <div class="smart-trim-readmore-summary"> <p><b>Now completely updated! A compassionate guide to help couples survive infidelity and improve their relationship.</b><br><br>When a couple's trust is shattered by infidelity, healing may seem beyond reach—but it doesn't have to be. This second edition of <i>Secrets to Surviving Infidelity</i> offers a compassionate and practical roadmap toward recovery and reconnection. Through humane insights and step-by-step strategies, Dr. Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and marriage educator, shares how to overcome the pain of betrayal and strengthen relationships in its wake. </p><p>Whether you are the wronged partner, the one who...</p><div class="more-link"><a href="/books/title/12910/secrets-surviving-infidelity" class="more-link" hreflang="en">Read More</a></div> </div> <div class="smart-trim-readmore-output"> <p><b>Now completely updated! A compassionate guide to help couples survive infidelity and improve their relationship.</b><br><br>When a couple's trust is shattered by infidelity, healing may seem beyond reach—but it doesn't have to be. This second edition of <i>Secrets to Surviving Infidelity</i> offers a compassionate and practical roadmap toward recovery and reconnection. Through humane insights and step-by-step strategies, Dr. Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and marriage educator, shares how to overcome the pain of betrayal and strengthen relationships in its wake. </p><p>Whether you are the wronged partner, the one who strayed, or a therapist navigating your clients' infidelity, this book serves as an essential guide to the intricacies of infidelity—from the initial shock and heartache to the complex process of rebuilding trust. This second edition includes new information on:</p><p>• The evolving definitions of marriage and commitment, with updated language to include those who are in unmarried, committed relationships.<br>• Relationship challenges unique to the LGBTQ+ community <br>• Gender and sex issues <br>• The neuroscience of infidelity and "flame addiction" <br>• Strategies for conflict management</p><p>Dr. Haltzman combines real-life stories with robust research to illuminate the types of infidelity, the varied motivations behind affairs, and their impacts on relationships. He provides clear guidance on how to end an affair, how to cope with feelings of anger and grief, and how to foster forgiveness and healing. This book can also serve as a preventive tool to explore and strengthen bonds to make relationships affair-resistant. <i>Secrets to Surviving Infidelity</i> is a lifeline for those desperate to recover and safeguard their relationships.</p> <div class="less-link"><a href="/books/title/12910/secrets-surviving-infidelity" class="less-link" hreflang="en">Read Less</a></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="product__jump-bar__container books"> <div class="product__jump-bar__inner"> <div class="product__jump-bar__inner_title"> <a class="journal__btn" href="#book__information">About</a> </div> <div class="product__jump-bar__inner_title"> <a class="journal__btn" href="#book__related">Related Books</a> </div> <div class="product__jump-bar__inner_title"> <a class="journal__btn" href="#book__reviews">Reviews</a> </div> <div class="product__jump-bar__inner_title"> <a class="journal__btn" href="#book__details">Details</a> </div> <div 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class="form-actions js-form-wrapper form-wrapper" id="edit-actions"><input class="button--add-to-cart book__btn--preorder button button--primary js-form-submit form-submit" id="edit-submit-379066" data-drupal-selector="edit-submit" data-disable-refocus="true" type="submit" name="op" value="Preorder" /> </div> </div><div class="url-textfield js-form-wrapper form-wrapper" style="display: none !important;"><div class="js-form-item form-item js-form-type-textfield form-type-textfield js-form-item-url form-item-url"> <label for="edit-url">Leave this field blank</label> <input autocomplete="off" data-drupal-selector="edit-url" type="text" id="edit-url" name="url" value="" size="20" maxlength="128" class="form-text" /> </div> </div> </form> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div id="book__reviews" class="book__highlight review__block"> <div class="book__highlight__container"> <div class="book__highlight__inner"> <div class="background__text" data-aos="fade-up">Reviews</div> <div class="book__highlight__content"> <h2 class="product__title" data-aos="fade-up" data-aos-delay="400">Reviews</h2> <div class="book__highlight__row" data-aos="fade-up" data-aos-delay="700"> <div class="reviews__section"> <div class="reviews--exposed"> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--review paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="text-wrapper"> <p>While keyed specifically to meet the needs of couples coping with the shock and pain of an affair, this vital guide from marriage and infidelity expert Haltzman... contains cogent advice for anyone in a troubled relationship.</p> <span class="byline">— Publishers Weekly </span> </div> </div> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--review paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="text-wrapper"> <p>Rebuilding trust after an affair is not easy and requires a special kind of support and clear guidance. Scott Haltzman can show you the way. Taking the time to read this book will change your life.</p> <span class="byline">— John Gray, Ph.D., author of <i>Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, </i>praise for the previous edition</span> </div> </div> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--review paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="text-wrapper"> <p>This isn't <i>just</i> a supremely helpful book on understanding—and recovering from—infidelity. It's a great book on marriage. The honest, warmhearted, and wise insight Scott Haltzman provides here can bring you hope and much more—a path forward. This is the book you are looking for right now.</p> <span class="byline">— Scott Stanley, Ph.D., author of <i>The Power of Commitment, </i>praise for the previous edition</span> </div> </div> <div class="paragraph paragraph--type--review paragraph--view-mode--default"> <div class="text-wrapper"> <p>Anyone who has, or is in the profession of helping those who have, or who just wants to know everything about, affairs will benefit from reading this book, and should read it. It is the most comprehensive book on the topic I have seen. I highly recommend it.</p> <span class="byline">— Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of <i>Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, </i>praise for the previous edition</span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div id="book__details" class="book__highlight product__about__block"> <div class="book__highlight__container"> <div class="book__highlight__inner"> <div class="background__text" data-aos="fade-up">About</div> <div class="book__highlight__content"> <h2 class="product__title" data-aos="fade-up" data-aos-delay="400">Book Details</h2> <div class="product__about" id="book__table"> <div class="book__highlight__row product_details__section" data-aos="fade-up" data-aos-delay="700"> <div class="product--variation-field--variation_field_availability_date__48556"></div> <div class="product--variation-field--variation_field_publication_date__48556 field field--name-field-publication-date field--type-datetime field--label-above"> <div class="label">Publication Date</div> <div><time datetime="2025-02-11T12:00:00Z" class="datetime">February 11, 2025</time> </div> </div> <div class="product--variation-field--variation_field_availability_status__48556 field field--name-field-availability-status field--type-boolean field--label-above"> <div class="label">Status</div> <div>Available</div> </div> <div class="field field__trim"> <div class="label">Trim Size</div> <div class="value"> <div class="product--variation-field--variation_field_width__48556">6</div> x <div class="product--variation-field--variation_field_height__48556">9</div> </div> </div> <div class="product--variation-field--variation_field_pages__48556 field field--name-field-pages field--type-integer field--label-above"> <div class="label">Pages</div> <div>376</div> </div> <div class="product--variation-field--variation_field_isbn__48556 field field--name-field-isbn field--type-string field--label-above"> <div class="label">ISBN</div> <div>9781421450834</div> </div> <div class="product--variation-field--variation_field_doi__48556 field field--name-field-doi field--type-string field--label-above"> <div class="label">DOI</div> <div><a target="_blank" href="https://doi.org/10.56021/9781421450827">https://doi.org/10.56021/9781421450827</a></div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-jhup-subject field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="label">Subject</div> <div> <div><a href="/books/subjects/health-medicine" hreflang="en">Health & Medicine</a></div> <div><a href="/books/subjects/social-science" hreflang="en">Social Science</a></div> <div><a href="/books/subjects/health-medicine/psychiatry-psychology-cognitive-sciences" hreflang="en">Psychiatry, Psychology & Cognitive Sciences</a></div> <div><a href="/books/subjects/health-medicine/health-wellness" hreflang="en">Health & Wellness</a></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-table-of-contents field--type-text-long field--label-above"> <div class="label">Table of Contents</div> <div><div class="smart-trim-readmore-summary"> <p>Prologue<br>1. Defining Infidelity<br>2. What's Emotion Got to Do With It?<br>3. Why People Cheat<br>4. Flame Addiction<br>5. Giving the NOD to an Affair<br>6. Affair Exposed, Now What?<br>7. Getting to the Heart of the Matter<br>8</p><div class="more-link"><a href="/books/title/12910/secrets-surviving-infidelity" class="more-link" hreflang="en">See More</a></div> </div> <div class="smart-trim-readmore-output"> <p>Prologue<br>1. Defining Infidelity<br>2. What's Emotion Got to Do With It?<br>3. Why People Cheat<br>4. Flame Addiction<br>5. Giving the NOD to an Affair<br>6. Affair Exposed, Now What?<br>7. Getting to the Heart of the Matter<br>8. Forgiveness<br>9. What to Expect When You're Expecting (a Happy Marriage)<br>10. Ready to Rebuild?<br>11. Building a Better Relationship for a Lifetime<br>Epilogue<br>Notes<br>Index</p> <div class="less-link"><a href="/books/title/12910/secrets-surviving-infidelity" class="less-link" hreflang="en">See Less</a></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div id="book__authors"></div> </div> <div class="authors__block" data-aos="fade-up" data-aos-delay="700"> <div class="authors__container"> <div class="authors__inner "> <div class="author__tag">Author Bio</div> <div class="authors__item"> <article class="node node--type-author node--view-mode-teaser"> <div class="node__content"> <article class="media media--type-image media--view-mode-square-thumbnail"> <img src="/sites/default/files/styles/medium/public/authors/9304.jpg?itok=GwINelLK" width="220" height="200" alt="Scott Haltzman, M.D." loading="lazy" class="image-style-medium" /> </article> <div class="contributor__group"> <div class="contributor__label">Featured Contributor</div> <h2> <a href="/books/authors/scott-haltzman-md" rel="bookmark"><span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Scott Haltzman, M.D.</span> </a> </h2> Scott Haltzman, M.D., is a distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and former clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Brown University. He is author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men, The Secrets of Happily Married Women, and The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity . <div class="author__read_more"><a href="/books/authors/scott-haltzman-md" class="author__read_more" aria-label="Read more about Scott Haltzman, M.D." hreflang="en">Read more</a></div> </div> <div class="views-element-container"><div class="view view-authors-featured-news view-id-authors_featured_news view-display-id-block_1 js-view-dom-id-bfa60490b06d0d91238fb885d3a4adb63ec092a03fd7506708cf06a68cef4926"> </div> </div> </div> </article> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div id="block-stayintouchblock" class="block block-jhup-global block-stay-in-touch-block"> <div class="subscribe"> <div class="subscribe__container"> <div class="subscribe__inner"> <div class="subscribe__group"> <div class="subscribe__headers"> <div class="subscribe__header">Stay In Touch</div> <div class="subscribe__subheader"> <p>with Hopkins Press Books</p> </div> </div> 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