CINXE.COM
DNC Chair: It’s Not A Waste Of Money If It Makes You Happy - The Onion
<!DOCTYPE html> <html lang="en-US"> <head> <meta charset="UTF-8" /> <script> var gform;gform||(document.addEventListener("gform_main_scripts_loaded",function(){gform.scriptsLoaded=!0}),window.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded",function(){gform.domLoaded=!0}),gform={domLoaded:!1,scriptsLoaded:!1,initializeOnLoaded:function(o){gform.domLoaded&&gform.scriptsLoaded?o():!gform.domLoaded&&gform.scriptsLoaded?window.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded",o):document.addEventListener("gform_main_scripts_loaded",o)},hooks:{action:{},filter:{}},addAction:function(o,n,r,t){gform.addHook("action",o,n,r,t)},addFilter:function(o,n,r,t){gform.addHook("filter",o,n,r,t)},doAction:function(o){gform.doHook("action",o,arguments)},applyFilters:function(o){return gform.doHook("filter",o,arguments)},removeAction:function(o,n){gform.removeHook("action",o,n)},removeFilter:function(o,n,r){gform.removeHook("filter",o,n,r)},addHook:function(o,n,r,t,i){null==gform.hooks[o][n]&&(gform.hooks[o][n]=[]);var e=gform.hooks[o][n];null==i&&(i=n+"_"+e.length),gform.hooks[o][n].push({tag:i,callable:r,priority:t=null==t?10:t})},doHook:function(n,o,r){var t;if(r=Array.prototype.slice.call(r,1),null!=gform.hooks[n][o]&&((o=gform.hooks[n][o]).sort(function(o,n){return o.priority-n.priority}),o.forEach(function(o){"function"!=typeof(t=o.callable)&&(t=window[t]),"action"==n?t.apply(null,r):r[0]=t.apply(null,r)})),"filter"==n)return r[0]},removeHook:function(o,n,t,i){var r;null!=gform.hooks[o][n]&&(r=(r=gform.hooks[o][n]).filter(function(o,n,r){return!!(null!=i&&i!=o.tag||null!=t&&t!=o.priority)}),gform.hooks[o][n]=r)}}); </script> <script type="text/javascript" data-gtm-cookies-scripts>window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('consent', 'default', {"analytics_storage":"denied","ad_storage":"denied","ad_user_data":"denied","ad_personalization":"denied"}); try { var consentPreferences = JSON.parse(localStorage.getItem('consent_preferences')); if (consentPreferences !== null) { gtag('consent', 'update', consentPreferences); } } catch (error) {} </script> <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1" /> <meta name='robots' content='index, follow, max-image-preview:large, max-snippet:-1, max-video-preview:-1' /> <style>img:is([sizes="auto" i], [sizes^="auto," i]) { contain-intrinsic-size: 3000px 1500px }</style> <!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v23.8 (Yoast SEO v23.8) - https://yoast.com/wordpress/plugins/seo/ --> <link rel="canonical" href="https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/" /> <meta property="og:locale" content="en_US" /> <meta property="og:type" content="article" /> <meta property="og:title" content="DNC Chair: It’s Not A Waste Of Money If It Makes You Happy" /> <meta property="og:url" content="https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/" /> <meta property="og:site_name" content="The Onion" /> <meta property="article:publisher" content="https://facebook.com/theonion" /> <meta property="article:published_time" content="2024-11-21T13:00:00+00:00" /> <meta property="article:modified_time" content="2024-11-20T23:45:40+00:00" /> <meta property="og:image" content="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH_SOCIAL.webp" /> <meta property="og:image:width" content="4224" /> <meta property="og:image:height" content="2377" /> <meta property="og:image:type" content="image/webp" /> <meta name="author" content="The Onion Staff" /> <meta name="twitter:card" content="summary_large_image" /> <meta name="twitter:creator" content="@theonion" /> <meta name="twitter:site" content="@theonion" /> <meta name="twitter:label1" content="Written by" /> <meta name="twitter:data1" content="The Onion Staff" /> <meta name="twitter:label2" content="Est. reading time" /> <meta name="twitter:data2" content="1 minute" /> <script type="application/ld+json" class="yoast-schema-graph">{"@context":"https://schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/"},"author":{"name":"The Onion Staff","@id":"https://theonion.com/#/schema/person/b225c24898efd719831805e067afe35b"},"headline":"DNC Chair: It’s Not A Waste Of Money If It Makes You Happy","datePublished":"2024-11-21T13:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2024-11-20T23:45:40+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/"},"wordCount":14,"publisher":{"@id":"https://theonion.com/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg","keywords":["DNC","News In Photos","Vol 60: Issue 47"],"articleSection":["Politics"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/","url":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/","name":"DNC Chair: It’s Not A Waste Of Money If It Makes You Happy - The Onion","isPartOf":{"@id":"https://theonion.com/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg","datePublished":"2024-11-21T13:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2024-11-20T23:45:40+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/#primaryimage","url":"https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg","contentUrl":"https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg","width":2000,"height":1516},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https://theonion.com/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https://theonion.com/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Latest","item":"https://theonion.com/latest/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"DNC Chair: It’s Not A Waste Of Money If It Makes You Happy"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https://theonion.com/#website","url":"https://theonion.com/","name":"The Onion","description":"America’s Finest News Source","publisher":{"@id":"https://theonion.com/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https://theonion.com/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://theonion.com/#organization","name":"The Onion","url":"https://theonion.com/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https://theonion.com/#/schema/logo/image/","url":"https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/site-logo.svg","contentUrl":"https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/site-logo.svg","width":646,"height":103,"caption":"The Onion"},"image":{"@id":"https://theonion.com/#/schema/logo/image/"},"sameAs":["https://facebook.com/theonion","https://x.com/theonion"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https://theonion.com/#/schema/person/b225c24898efd719831805e067afe35b","name":"The Onion Staff"}]}</script> <!-- / Yoast SEO Premium plugin. --> <title>DNC Chair: It’s Not A Waste Of Money If It Makes You Happy - The Onion</title> <link rel='dns-prefetch' href='//public-assets.tagconcierge.com' /> <link rel='dns-prefetch' href='//stats.wp.com' /> <link rel='dns-prefetch' href='//cdn.parsely.com' /> <link rel='dns-prefetch' href='//www.googletagmanager.com' /> <link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="The Onion » Feed" href="https://theonion.com/feed/" /> <link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="The Onion » Comments Feed" href="https://theonion.com/comments/feed/" /> <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/theonion.com/htlbid.css" /> <script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/theonion.com/htlbid.js"></script> <script> window.htlbid = window.htlbid || {}; htlbid.cmd = htlbid.cmd || []; htlbid.cmd.push(function () { htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing", "no"); // Set to "no" for production htlbid.setTargeting("is_home", "no"); // Set to "yes" on the homepage htlbid.setTargeting("category", ["Politics","DNC","News In Photos","Vol 60: Issue 47"]); // dynamically pass page categories into this function htlbid.setTargeting("post_id", "1851675091"); // dynamically pass unique post/page id into this function htlbid.layout(); }); </script> <script> window._wpemojiSettings = {"baseUrl":"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/15.0.3\/72x72\/","ext":".png","svgUrl":"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/15.0.3\/svg\/","svgExt":".svg","source":{"concatemoji":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-emoji-release.min.js?ver=6.7.1"}}; /*! This file is auto-generated */ !function(i,n){var o,s,e;function c(e){try{var t={supportTests:e,timestamp:(new Date).valueOf()};sessionStorage.setItem(o,JSON.stringify(t))}catch(e){}}function p(e,t,n){e.clearRect(0,0,e.canvas.width,e.canvas.height),e.fillText(t,0,0);var t=new Uint32Array(e.getImageData(0,0,e.canvas.width,e.canvas.height).data),r=(e.clearRect(0,0,e.canvas.width,e.canvas.height),e.fillText(n,0,0),new Uint32Array(e.getImageData(0,0,e.canvas.width,e.canvas.height).data));return t.every(function(e,t){return e===r[t]})}function u(e,t,n){switch(t){case"flag":return n(e,"\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\u26a7\ufe0f","\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200b\u26a7\ufe0f")?!1:!n(e,"\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf3","\ud83c\uddfa\u200b\ud83c\uddf3")&&!n(e,"\ud83c\udff4\udb40\udc67\udb40\udc62\udb40\udc65\udb40\udc6e\udb40\udc67\udb40\udc7f","\ud83c\udff4\u200b\udb40\udc67\u200b\udb40\udc62\u200b\udb40\udc65\u200b\udb40\udc6e\u200b\udb40\udc67\u200b\udb40\udc7f");case"emoji":return!n(e,"\ud83d\udc26\u200d\u2b1b","\ud83d\udc26\u200b\u2b1b")}return!1}function f(e,t,n){var r="undefined"!=typeof WorkerGlobalScope&&self instanceof WorkerGlobalScope?new OffscreenCanvas(300,150):i.createElement("canvas"),a=r.getContext("2d",{willReadFrequently:!0}),o=(a.textBaseline="top",a.font="600 32px Arial",{});return e.forEach(function(e){o[e]=t(a,e,n)}),o}function t(e){var t=i.createElement("script");t.src=e,t.defer=!0,i.head.appendChild(t)}"undefined"!=typeof Promise&&(o="wpEmojiSettingsSupports",s=["flag","emoji"],n.supports={everything:!0,everythingExceptFlag:!0},e=new Promise(function(e){i.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded",e,{once:!0})}),new Promise(function(t){var n=function(){try{var e=JSON.parse(sessionStorage.getItem(o));if("object"==typeof e&&"number"==typeof e.timestamp&&(new Date).valueOf()<e.timestamp+604800&&"object"==typeof e.supportTests)return e.supportTests}catch(e){}return null}();if(!n){if("undefined"!=typeof Worker&&"undefined"!=typeof OffscreenCanvas&&"undefined"!=typeof URL&&URL.createObjectURL&&"undefined"!=typeof Blob)try{var e="postMessage("+f.toString()+"("+[JSON.stringify(s),u.toString(),p.toString()].join(",")+"));",r=new Blob([e],{type:"text/javascript"}),a=new Worker(URL.createObjectURL(r),{name:"wpTestEmojiSupports"});return void(a.onmessage=function(e){c(n=e.data),a.terminate(),t(n)})}catch(e){}c(n=f(s,u,p))}t(n)}).then(function(e){for(var t in e)n.supports[t]=e[t],n.supports.everything=n.supports.everything&&n.supports[t],"flag"!==t&&(n.supports.everythingExceptFlag=n.supports.everythingExceptFlag&&n.supports[t]);n.supports.everythingExceptFlag=n.supports.everythingExceptFlag&&!n.supports.flag,n.DOMReady=!1,n.readyCallback=function(){n.DOMReady=!0}}).then(function(){return e}).then(function(){var e;n.supports.everything||(n.readyCallback(),(e=n.source||{}).concatemoji?t(e.concatemoji):e.wpemoji&&e.twemoji&&(t(e.twemoji),t(e.wpemoji)))}))}((window,document),window._wpemojiSettings); </script> <link rel='stylesheet' id='all-css-0' href='https://theonion.com/_static/??-eJytzMsOgjAQheEXsowSCXFhfJa2DHVCL2RmKuHtRYlbVyxP/pMPltn4khWzwhxroCwQ2L5I17FwErAiqAJeBAYS/UXzrUafmNAwbp8mUW622wmOIMdS82CVSj7YZZtwKTwdxRZ2pDbu/H+0btMhB3CV4gAuFj+ZSI4tr/sSoGQDguga8QM90v3St11/bW/n7g0RiKOH' type='text/css' media='all' /> <style id='wp-block-paragraph-inline-css'> .is-small-text{font-size:.875em}.is-regular-text{font-size:1em}.is-large-text{font-size:2.25em}.is-larger-text{font-size:3em}.has-drop-cap:not(:focus):first-letter{float:left;font-size:8.4em;font-style:normal;font-weight:100;line-height:.68;margin:.05em .1em 0 0;text-transform:uppercase}body.rtl .has-drop-cap:not(:focus):first-letter{float:none;margin-left:.1em}p.has-drop-cap.has-background{overflow:hidden}:root :where(p.has-background){padding:1.25em 2.375em}:where(p.has-text-color:not(.has-link-color)) a{color:inherit}p.has-text-align-left[style*="writing-mode:vertical-lr"],p.has-text-align-right[style*="writing-mode:vertical-rl"]{rotate:180deg} </style> <style id='wp-block-group-inline-css'> .wp-block-group{box-sizing:border-box}:where(.wp-block-group.wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained){position:relative} </style> <style id='wp-block-separator-inline-css'> @charset "UTF-8";.wp-block-separator{border:none;border-top:2px solid}:root :where(.wp-block-separator.is-style-dots){height:auto;line-height:1;text-align:center}:root :where(.wp-block-separator.is-style-dots):before{color:currentColor;content:"···";font-family:serif;font-size:1.5em;letter-spacing:2em;padding-left:2em}.wp-block-separator.is-style-dots{background:none!important;border:none!important} </style> <style id='wp-block-site-logo-inline-css'> .wp-block-site-logo{box-sizing:border-box;line-height:0}.wp-block-site-logo a{display:inline-block;line-height:0}.wp-block-site-logo.is-default-size img{height:auto;width:120px}.wp-block-site-logo img{height:auto;max-width:100%}.wp-block-site-logo a,.wp-block-site-logo img{border-radius:inherit}.wp-block-site-logo.aligncenter{margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;text-align:center}:root :where(.wp-block-site-logo.is-style-rounded){border-radius:9999px} </style> <style id='wp-block-navigation-link-inline-css'> .wp-block-navigation .wp-block-navigation-item__label{overflow-wrap:break-word}.wp-block-navigation .wp-block-navigation-item__description{display:none}.link-ui-tools{border-top:1px solid #f0f0f0;padding:8px}.link-ui-block-inserter{padding-top:8px}.link-ui-block-inserter__back{margin-left:8px;text-transform:uppercase} </style> <link rel='stylesheet' id='all-css-12' href='https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build/block-library/blocks/navigation/style.css?m=1723558592g' type='text/css' media='all' /> <style id='wp-block-button-inline-css'> .wp-block-button__link{box-sizing:border-box;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;text-align:center;word-break:break-word}.wp-block-button__link.aligncenter{text-align:center}.wp-block-button__link.alignright{text-align:right}:where(.wp-block-button__link){border-radius:9999px;box-shadow:none;padding:calc(.667em + 2px) calc(1.333em + 2px);text-decoration:none}.wp-block-button[style*=text-decoration] .wp-block-button__link{text-decoration:inherit}.wp-block-buttons>.wp-block-button.has-custom-width{max-width:none}.wp-block-buttons>.wp-block-button.has-custom-width .wp-block-button__link{width:100%}.wp-block-buttons>.wp-block-button.has-custom-font-size .wp-block-button__link{font-size:inherit}.wp-block-buttons>.wp-block-button.wp-block-button__width-25{width:calc(25% - var(--wp--style--block-gap, .5em)*.75)}.wp-block-buttons>.wp-block-button.wp-block-button__width-50{width:calc(50% - var(--wp--style--block-gap, .5em)*.5)}.wp-block-buttons>.wp-block-button.wp-block-button__width-75{width:calc(75% - var(--wp--style--block-gap, .5em)*.25)}.wp-block-buttons>.wp-block-button.wp-block-button__width-100{flex-basis:100%;width:100%}.wp-block-buttons.is-vertical>.wp-block-button.wp-block-button__width-25{width:25%}.wp-block-buttons.is-vertical>.wp-block-button.wp-block-button__width-50{width:50%}.wp-block-buttons.is-vertical>.wp-block-button.wp-block-button__width-75{width:75%}.wp-block-button.is-style-squared,.wp-block-button__link.wp-block-button.is-style-squared{border-radius:0}.wp-block-button.no-border-radius,.wp-block-button__link.no-border-radius{border-radius:0!important}:root :where(.wp-block-button .wp-block-button__link.is-style-outline),:root :where(.wp-block-button.is-style-outline>.wp-block-button__link){border:2px solid;padding:.667em 1.333em}:root :where(.wp-block-button .wp-block-button__link.is-style-outline:not(.has-text-color)),:root :where(.wp-block-button.is-style-outline>.wp-block-button__link:not(.has-text-color)){color:currentColor}:root :where(.wp-block-button .wp-block-button__link.is-style-outline:not(.has-background)),:root :where(.wp-block-button.is-style-outline>.wp-block-button__link:not(.has-background)){background-color:initial;background-image:none} </style> <style id='wp-block-buttons-inline-css'> .wp-block-buttons.is-vertical{flex-direction:column}.wp-block-buttons.is-vertical>.wp-block-button:last-child{margin-bottom:0}.wp-block-buttons>.wp-block-button{display:inline-block;margin:0}.wp-block-buttons.is-content-justification-left{justify-content:flex-start}.wp-block-buttons.is-content-justification-left.is-vertical{align-items:flex-start}.wp-block-buttons.is-content-justification-center{justify-content:center}.wp-block-buttons.is-content-justification-center.is-vertical{align-items:center}.wp-block-buttons.is-content-justification-right{justify-content:flex-end}.wp-block-buttons.is-content-justification-right.is-vertical{align-items:flex-end}.wp-block-buttons.is-content-justification-space-between{justify-content:space-between}.wp-block-buttons.aligncenter{text-align:center}.wp-block-buttons:not(.is-content-justification-space-between,.is-content-justification-right,.is-content-justification-left,.is-content-justification-center) .wp-block-button.aligncenter{margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;width:100%}.wp-block-buttons[style*=text-decoration] .wp-block-button,.wp-block-buttons[style*=text-decoration] .wp-block-button__link{text-decoration:inherit}.wp-block-buttons.has-custom-font-size .wp-block-button__link{font-size:inherit}.wp-block-button.aligncenter{text-align:center} </style> <link rel='stylesheet' id='all-css-18' href='https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build/block-library/blocks/social-links/style.css?m=1723558592g' type='text/css' media='all' /> <style id='block-visibility-screen-size-styles-inline-css'> /* Large screens (desktops, 1080px and up) */ @media ( min-width: 1080px ) { .block-visibility-hide-large-screen { display: none !important; } } /* Medium screens (tablets, between 600px and 1080px) */ @media ( min-width: 600px ) and ( max-width: 1079.98px ) { .block-visibility-hide-medium-screen { display: none !important; } } /* Small screens (mobile devices, less than 600px) */ @media ( max-width: 599.98px ) { .block-visibility-hide-small-screen { display: none !important; } } </style> <link rel='stylesheet' id='all-css-24' href='https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/social-sharing-block/build/social-sharing/style-index.css?m=1732205825g' type='text/css' media='all' /> <style id='wp-block-post-terms-inline-css'> .wp-block-post-terms{box-sizing:border-box}.wp-block-post-terms .wp-block-post-terms__separator{white-space:pre-wrap} </style> <style id='wp-block-post-title-inline-css'> .wp-block-post-title{box-sizing:border-box;word-break:break-word}.wp-block-post-title :where(a){display:inline-block;font-family:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-style:inherit;font-weight:inherit;letter-spacing:inherit;line-height:inherit;text-decoration:inherit} </style> <style id='mfb-meta-field-block-style-inline-css'> .wp-block-mfb-meta-field-block,.wp-block-mfb-meta-field-block *{box-sizing:border-box}.wp-block-mfb-meta-field-block.is-layout-flow>.prefix,.wp-block-mfb-meta-field-block.is-layout-flow>.suffix,.wp-block-mfb-meta-field-block.is-layout-flow>.value{margin-block-end:0;margin-block-start:0}.wp-block-mfb-meta-field-block.is-display-inline-block>*{display:inline-block}.wp-block-mfb-meta-field-block.is-display-inline-block .prefix{margin-inline-end:var(--mfb--gap,.5em)}.wp-block-mfb-meta-field-block.is-display-inline-block .suffix{margin-inline-start:var(--mfb--gap,.5em)} </style> <style id='wp-block-post-featured-image-inline-css'> .wp-block-post-featured-image{margin-left:0;margin-right:0}.wp-block-post-featured-image a{display:block;height:100%}.wp-block-post-featured-image :where(img){box-sizing:border-box;height:auto;max-width:100%;vertical-align:bottom;width:100%}.wp-block-post-featured-image.alignfull img,.wp-block-post-featured-image.alignwide img{width:100%}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim{background-color:#000;inset:0;position:absolute}.wp-block-post-featured-image{position:relative}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-gradient{background-color:initial}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-0{opacity:0}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-10{opacity:.1}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-20{opacity:.2}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-30{opacity:.3}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-40{opacity:.4}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-50{opacity:.5}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-60{opacity:.6}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-70{opacity:.7}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-80{opacity:.8}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-90{opacity:.9}.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__overlay.has-background-dim-100{opacity:1}.wp-block-post-featured-image:where(.alignleft,.alignright){width:100%} </style> <style id='wp-block-post-date-inline-css'> .wp-block-post-date{box-sizing:border-box} </style> <style id='wp-block-post-content-inline-css'> .wp-block-post-content:after{clear:both;content:"";display:table} </style> <style id='wp-block-post-navigation-link-inline-css'> .wp-block-post-navigation-link .wp-block-post-navigation-link__arrow-previous{display:inline-block;margin-right:1ch}.wp-block-post-navigation-link .wp-block-post-navigation-link__arrow-previous:not(.is-arrow-chevron){transform:scaleX(1)}.wp-block-post-navigation-link .wp-block-post-navigation-link__arrow-next{display:inline-block;margin-left:1ch}.wp-block-post-navigation-link .wp-block-post-navigation-link__arrow-next:not(.is-arrow-chevron){transform:scaleX(1)}.wp-block-post-navigation-link.has-text-align-left[style*="writing-mode: vertical-lr"],.wp-block-post-navigation-link.has-text-align-right[style*="writing-mode: vertical-rl"]{rotate:180deg} </style> <style id='wp-block-post-template-inline-css'> .wp-block-post-template{list-style:none;margin-bottom:0;margin-top:0;max-width:100%;padding:0}.wp-block-post-template.is-flex-container{display:flex;flex-direction:row;flex-wrap:wrap;gap:1.25em}.wp-block-post-template.is-flex-container>li{margin:0;width:100%}@media (min-width:600px){.wp-block-post-template.is-flex-container.is-flex-container.columns-2>li{width:calc(50% - .625em)}.wp-block-post-template.is-flex-container.is-flex-container.columns-3>li{width:calc(33.33333% - .83333em)}.wp-block-post-template.is-flex-container.is-flex-container.columns-4>li{width:calc(25% - .9375em)}.wp-block-post-template.is-flex-container.is-flex-container.columns-5>li{width:calc(20% - 1em)}.wp-block-post-template.is-flex-container.is-flex-container.columns-6>li{width:calc(16.66667% - 1.04167em)}}@media (max-width:600px){.wp-block-post-template-is-layout-grid.wp-block-post-template-is-layout-grid.wp-block-post-template-is-layout-grid.wp-block-post-template-is-layout-grid{grid-template-columns:1fr}}.wp-block-post-template-is-layout-constrained>li>.alignright,.wp-block-post-template-is-layout-flow>li>.alignright{float:right;margin-inline-end:0;margin-inline-start:2em}.wp-block-post-template-is-layout-constrained>li>.alignleft,.wp-block-post-template-is-layout-flow>li>.alignleft{float:left;margin-inline-end:2em;margin-inline-start:0}.wp-block-post-template-is-layout-constrained>li>.aligncenter,.wp-block-post-template-is-layout-flow>li>.aligncenter{margin-inline-end:auto;margin-inline-start:auto} </style> <style id='wp-block-heading-inline-css'> h1.has-background,h2.has-background,h3.has-background,h4.has-background,h5.has-background,h6.has-background{padding:1.25em 2.375em}h1.has-text-align-left[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-lr]),h1.has-text-align-right[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-rl]),h2.has-text-align-left[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-lr]),h2.has-text-align-right[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-rl]),h3.has-text-align-left[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-lr]),h3.has-text-align-right[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-rl]),h4.has-text-align-left[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-lr]),h4.has-text-align-right[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-rl]),h5.has-text-align-left[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-lr]),h5.has-text-align-right[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-rl]),h6.has-text-align-left[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-lr]),h6.has-text-align-right[style*=writing-mode]:where([style*=vertical-rl]){rotate:180deg} </style> <style id='wp-block-library-inline-css'> :root{--wp-admin-theme-color:#007cba;--wp-admin-theme-color--rgb:0,124,186;--wp-admin-theme-color-darker-10:#006ba1;--wp-admin-theme-color-darker-10--rgb:0,107,161;--wp-admin-theme-color-darker-20:#005a87;--wp-admin-theme-color-darker-20--rgb:0,90,135;--wp-admin-border-width-focus:2px;--wp-block-synced-color:#7a00df;--wp-block-synced-color--rgb:122,0,223;--wp-bound-block-color:var(--wp-block-synced-color)}@media (min-resolution:192dpi){:root{--wp-admin-border-width-focus:1.5px}}.wp-element-button{cursor:pointer}:root{--wp--preset--font-size--normal:16px;--wp--preset--font-size--huge:42px}:root .has-very-light-gray-background-color{background-color:#eee}:root .has-very-dark-gray-background-color{background-color:#313131}:root .has-very-light-gray-color{color:#eee}:root .has-very-dark-gray-color{color:#313131}:root .has-vivid-green-cyan-to-vivid-cyan-blue-gradient-background{background:linear-gradient(135deg,#00d084,#0693e3)}:root .has-purple-crush-gradient-background{background:linear-gradient(135deg,#34e2e4,#4721fb 50%,#ab1dfe)}:root .has-hazy-dawn-gradient-background{background:linear-gradient(135deg,#faaca8,#dad0ec)}:root .has-subdued-olive-gradient-background{background:linear-gradient(135deg,#fafae1,#67a671)}:root .has-atomic-cream-gradient-background{background:linear-gradient(135deg,#fdd79a,#004a59)}:root .has-nightshade-gradient-background{background:linear-gradient(135deg,#330968,#31cdcf)}:root .has-midnight-gradient-background{background:linear-gradient(135deg,#020381,#2874fc)}.has-regular-font-size{font-size:1em}.has-larger-font-size{font-size:2.625em}.has-normal-font-size{font-size:var(--wp--preset--font-size--normal)}.has-huge-font-size{font-size:var(--wp--preset--font-size--huge)}.has-text-align-center{text-align:center}.has-text-align-left{text-align:left}.has-text-align-right{text-align:right}#end-resizable-editor-section{display:none}.aligncenter{clear:both}.items-justified-left{justify-content:flex-start}.items-justified-center{justify-content:center}.items-justified-right{justify-content:flex-end}.items-justified-space-between{justify-content:space-between}.screen-reader-text{clip:rect(1px,1px,1px,1px);word-wrap:normal!important;border:0;clip-path:inset(50%);height:1px;margin:-1px;overflow:hidden;padding:0;position:absolute;width:1px}.screen-reader-text:focus{clip:auto!important;background-color:#ddd;clip-path:none;color:#444;display:block;font-size:1em;height:auto;left:5px;line-height:normal;padding:15px 23px 14px;text-decoration:none;top:5px;width:auto;z-index:100000}html :where(.has-border-color){border-style:solid}html :where([style*=border-top-color]){border-top-style:solid}html :where([style*=border-right-color]){border-right-style:solid}html :where([style*=border-bottom-color]){border-bottom-style:solid}html :where([style*=border-left-color]){border-left-style:solid}html :where([style*=border-width]){border-style:solid}html :where([style*=border-top-width]){border-top-style:solid}html :where([style*=border-right-width]){border-right-style:solid}html :where([style*=border-bottom-width]){border-bottom-style:solid}html :where([style*=border-left-width]){border-left-style:solid}html :where(img[class*=wp-image-]){height:auto;max-width:100%}:where(figure){margin:0 0 1em}html :where(.is-position-sticky){--wp-admin--admin-bar--position-offset:var(--wp-admin--admin-bar--height,0px)}@media screen and (max-width:600px){html :where(.is-position-sticky){--wp-admin--admin-bar--position-offset:0px}} </style> <style id='global-styles-inline-css'> :root{--wp--preset--aspect-ratio--square: 1;--wp--preset--aspect-ratio--4-3: 4/3;--wp--preset--aspect-ratio--3-4: 3/4;--wp--preset--aspect-ratio--3-2: 3/2;--wp--preset--aspect-ratio--2-3: 2/3;--wp--preset--aspect-ratio--16-9: 16/9;--wp--preset--aspect-ratio--9-16: 9/16;--wp--preset--color--black: #000000;--wp--preset--color--cyan-bluish-gray: #abb8c3;--wp--preset--color--white: #ffffff;--wp--preset--color--pale-pink: #f78da7;--wp--preset--color--vivid-red: #cf2e2e;--wp--preset--color--luminous-vivid-orange: #ff6900;--wp--preset--color--luminous-vivid-amber: #fcb900;--wp--preset--color--light-green-cyan: #7bdcb5;--wp--preset--color--vivid-green-cyan: #00d084;--wp--preset--color--pale-cyan-blue: #8ed1fc;--wp--preset--color--vivid-cyan-blue: #0693e3;--wp--preset--color--vivid-purple: #9b51e0;--wp--preset--color--primary-1: #006B3A;--wp--preset--color--primary-2: #000000;--wp--preset--color--secondary-1: #94D1B4;--wp--preset--color--shade-1: #676767;--wp--preset--color--shade-2: #E6E6E6;--wp--preset--color--shade-3: #FFFFFF;--wp--preset--gradient--vivid-cyan-blue-to-vivid-purple: linear-gradient(135deg,rgba(6,147,227,1) 0%,rgb(155,81,224) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--light-green-cyan-to-vivid-green-cyan: linear-gradient(135deg,rgb(122,220,180) 0%,rgb(0,208,130) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--luminous-vivid-amber-to-luminous-vivid-orange: linear-gradient(135deg,rgba(252,185,0,1) 0%,rgba(255,105,0,1) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--luminous-vivid-orange-to-vivid-red: linear-gradient(135deg,rgba(255,105,0,1) 0%,rgb(207,46,46) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--very-light-gray-to-cyan-bluish-gray: linear-gradient(135deg,rgb(238,238,238) 0%,rgb(169,184,195) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--cool-to-warm-spectrum: linear-gradient(135deg,rgb(74,234,220) 0%,rgb(151,120,209) 20%,rgb(207,42,186) 40%,rgb(238,44,130) 60%,rgb(251,105,98) 80%,rgb(254,248,76) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--blush-light-purple: linear-gradient(135deg,rgb(255,206,236) 0%,rgb(152,150,240) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--blush-bordeaux: linear-gradient(135deg,rgb(254,205,165) 0%,rgb(254,45,45) 50%,rgb(107,0,62) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--luminous-dusk: linear-gradient(135deg,rgb(255,203,112) 0%,rgb(199,81,192) 50%,rgb(65,88,208) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--pale-ocean: linear-gradient(135deg,rgb(255,245,203) 0%,rgb(182,227,212) 50%,rgb(51,167,181) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--electric-grass: linear-gradient(135deg,rgb(202,248,128) 0%,rgb(113,206,126) 100%);--wp--preset--gradient--midnight: linear-gradient(135deg,rgb(2,3,129) 0%,rgb(40,116,252) 100%);--wp--preset--font-size--small: 13px;--wp--preset--font-size--medium: clamp(14px, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 3.2px) * 0.469), 20px);--wp--preset--font-size--large: clamp(22.041px, 1.378rem + ((1vw - 3.2px) * 1.091), 36px);--wp--preset--font-size--x-large: clamp(25.014px, 1.563rem + ((1vw - 3.2px) * 1.327), 42px);--wp--preset--font-size--giga: clamp(3.188rem, 3.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 5.39), 7.5rem);--wp--preset--font-size--mega: clamp(2.375rem, 2.375rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 4.063), 5.625rem);--wp--preset--font-size--alpha: clamp(2rem, 2rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 2.735), 4.188rem);--wp--preset--font-size--bravo: clamp(1.75rem, 1.75rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 1.798), 3.188rem);--wp--preset--font-size--charlie: clamp(1.75rem, 1.75rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.781), 2.375rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: 1.313rem;--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: 1rem;--wp--preset--font-size--golf: 0.875rem;--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-compressed: "rocky-compressed", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-condensed: "rocky-condensed", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--spacing--20: 4px;--wp--preset--spacing--30: 8px;--wp--preset--spacing--40: 16px;--wp--preset--spacing--50: 32px;--wp--preset--spacing--60: 64px;--wp--preset--spacing--70: 128px;--wp--preset--spacing--80: 256px;--wp--preset--shadow--natural: 6px 6px 9px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2);--wp--preset--shadow--deep: 12px 12px 50px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);--wp--preset--shadow--sharp: 6px 6px 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2);--wp--preset--shadow--outlined: 6px 6px 0px -3px rgba(255, 255, 255, 1), 6px 6px rgba(0, 0, 0, 1);--wp--preset--shadow--crisp: 6px 6px 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 1);}.wp-block-button .wp-block-button__link{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-heading{--wp--preset--font-size--ultra: clamp(5.625rem, 5.625rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 5.469), 10rem);--wp--preset--font-size--giga: clamp(4.188rem, 4.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 4.14), 7.5rem);--wp--preset--font-size--mega: clamp(3.188rem, 3.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 3.046), 5.625rem);--wp--preset--font-size--alpha: clamp(3.188rem, 3.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 1.25), 4.188rem);--wp--preset--font-size--bravo: clamp(2.375rem, 2.375rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 1.016), 3.188rem);--wp--preset--font-size--charlie: clamp(1.75rem, 1.75rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.781), 2.375rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: 1.313rem;--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: 1rem;--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-compressed: "rocky-compressed", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-condensed: "rocky-condensed", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-list{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-list > li{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-navigation{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-navigation-link{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}p{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-post-author-name{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-post-content{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-post-date{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-post-excerpt{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-post-terms{--wp--preset--font-size--golf: clamp(0.563rem, 0.563rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.39), 0.875rem);--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.156), 1rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: clamp(1rem, 1rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.391), 1.313rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption: "utopia-std-caption", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-post-title{--wp--preset--font-size--ultra: clamp(5.625rem, 5.625rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 5.469), 10rem);--wp--preset--font-size--giga: clamp(4.188rem, 4.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 4.14), 7.5rem);--wp--preset--font-size--mega: clamp(3.188rem, 3.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 3.046), 5.625rem);--wp--preset--font-size--alpha: clamp(3.188rem, 3.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 1.25), 4.188rem);--wp--preset--font-size--bravo: clamp(2.375rem, 2.375rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 1.016), 3.188rem);--wp--preset--font-size--charlie: clamp(1.75rem, 1.75rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.781), 2.375rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: 1.313rem;--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: 1rem;--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-compressed: "rocky-compressed", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-condensed: "rocky-condensed", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-query-title{--wp--preset--font-size--ultra: clamp(5.625rem, 5.625rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 5.469), 10rem);--wp--preset--font-size--giga: clamp(4.188rem, 4.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 4.14), 7.5rem);--wp--preset--font-size--mega: clamp(3.188rem, 3.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 3.046), 5.625rem);--wp--preset--font-size--alpha: clamp(3.188rem, 3.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 1.25), 4.188rem);--wp--preset--font-size--bravo: clamp(2.375rem, 2.375rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 1.016), 3.188rem);--wp--preset--font-size--charlie: clamp(1.75rem, 1.75rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.781), 2.375rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: 1.313rem;--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: 1rem;--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-compressed: "rocky-compressed", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-condensed: "rocky-condensed", "Georgia", "Times", "Times New Roman", serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed: "tablet-gothic-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}.wp-block-quote{--wp--preset--font-size--ultra: clamp(5.625rem, 5.625rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 5.469), 10rem);--wp--preset--font-size--giga: clamp(4.188rem, 4.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 4.14), 7.5rem);--wp--preset--font-size--mega: clamp(3.188rem, 3.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 3.046), 5.625rem);--wp--preset--font-size--alpha: clamp(3.188rem, 3.188rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 1.25), 4.188rem);--wp--preset--font-size--bravo: clamp(2.375rem, 2.375rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 1.016), 3.188rem);--wp--preset--font-size--charlie: clamp(1.75rem, 1.75rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.781), 2.375rem);--wp--preset--font-size--delta: clamp(1.313rem, 1.313rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.546), 1.75rem);--wp--preset--font-size--echo: 1.313rem;--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot: 1rem;--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed: "tablet-gothic-semi-condensed", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", "Arial", sans-serif;}:root { --wp--style--global--content-size: 768px;--wp--style--global--wide-size: 1600px; }:where(body) { margin: 0; }.wp-site-blocks { padding-top: var(--wp--style--root--padding-top); padding-bottom: var(--wp--style--root--padding-bottom); }.has-global-padding { padding-right: var(--wp--style--root--padding-right); padding-left: var(--wp--style--root--padding-left); }.has-global-padding > .alignfull { margin-right: calc(var(--wp--style--root--padding-right) * -1); margin-left: calc(var(--wp--style--root--padding-left) * -1); }.has-global-padding :where(:not(.alignfull.is-layout-flow) > .has-global-padding:not(.wp-block-block, .alignfull)) { padding-right: 0; padding-left: 0; }.has-global-padding :where(:not(.alignfull.is-layout-flow) > .has-global-padding:not(.wp-block-block, .alignfull)) > .alignfull { margin-left: 0; margin-right: 0; }.wp-site-blocks > .alignleft { float: left; margin-right: 2em; }.wp-site-blocks > .alignright { float: right; margin-left: 2em; }.wp-site-blocks > .aligncenter { justify-content: center; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; }:where(.is-layout-flex){gap: 0.5em;}:where(.is-layout-grid){gap: 0.5em;}.is-layout-flow > .alignleft{float: left;margin-inline-start: 0;margin-inline-end: 2em;}.is-layout-flow > .alignright{float: right;margin-inline-start: 2em;margin-inline-end: 0;}.is-layout-flow > .aligncenter{margin-left: auto !important;margin-right: auto !important;}.is-layout-constrained > .alignleft{float: left;margin-inline-start: 0;margin-inline-end: 2em;}.is-layout-constrained > .alignright{float: right;margin-inline-start: 2em;margin-inline-end: 0;}.is-layout-constrained > .aligncenter{margin-left: auto !important;margin-right: auto !important;}.is-layout-constrained > :where(:not(.alignleft):not(.alignright):not(.alignfull)){max-width: var(--wp--style--global--content-size);margin-left: auto !important;margin-right: auto !important;}.is-layout-constrained > .alignwide{max-width: var(--wp--style--global--wide-size);}body .is-layout-flex{display: flex;}.is-layout-flex{flex-wrap: wrap;align-items: center;}.is-layout-flex > :is(*, div){margin: 0;}body .is-layout-grid{display: grid;}.is-layout-grid > :is(*, div){margin: 0;}body{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption);font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot);font-weight: 400;line-height: 1.5;--wp--style--root--padding-top: 0px;--wp--style--root--padding-right: clamp(16px, 2vw, 32px);--wp--style--root--padding-bottom: 0px;--wp--style--root--padding-left: clamp(16px, 2vw, 32px);}a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){text-decoration: underline;}h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6{font-style: normal;font-weight: 400;}h1{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--alpha);font-style: normal;font-weight: 700;line-height: 1.15;margin-top: 0px;margin-bottom: 12px;}h2{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--bravo);font-style: normal;font-weight: 700;line-height: 1.15;margin-top: 0px;margin-bottom: 12px;}h3{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--charlie);line-height: 1.15;margin-top: 0px;margin-bottom: 12px;}h4{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta);line-height: 1.15;margin-top: 0px;margin-bottom: 12px;}h5{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo);line-height: 1.15;margin-top: 0px;margin-bottom: 12px;}h6{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot);line-height: 1.15;margin-top: 0px;margin-bottom: 12px;}:root :where(.wp-element-button, .wp-block-button__link){background-color: #32373c;border-width: 0;color: #fff;font-family: inherit;font-size: inherit;line-height: inherit;padding-top: calc(0.667em + 2px);padding-right: calc(1.333em + 2px);padding-bottom: calc(0.667em + 2px);padding-left: calc(1.333em + 2px);text-decoration: none;}.has-black-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--black) !important;}.has-cyan-bluish-gray-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--cyan-bluish-gray) !important;}.has-white-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--white) !important;}.has-pale-pink-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--pale-pink) !important;}.has-vivid-red-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-red) !important;}.has-luminous-vivid-orange-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--luminous-vivid-orange) !important;}.has-luminous-vivid-amber-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--luminous-vivid-amber) !important;}.has-light-green-cyan-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--light-green-cyan) !important;}.has-vivid-green-cyan-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-green-cyan) !important;}.has-pale-cyan-blue-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--pale-cyan-blue) !important;}.has-vivid-cyan-blue-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-cyan-blue) !important;}.has-vivid-purple-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-purple) !important;}.has-primary-1-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1) !important;}.has-primary-2-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2) !important;}.has-secondary-1-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--secondary-1) !important;}.has-shade-1-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-1) !important;}.has-shade-2-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-2) !important;}.has-shade-3-color{color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3) !important;}.has-black-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--black) !important;}.has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--cyan-bluish-gray) !important;}.has-white-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--white) !important;}.has-pale-pink-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--pale-pink) !important;}.has-vivid-red-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-red) !important;}.has-luminous-vivid-orange-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--luminous-vivid-orange) !important;}.has-luminous-vivid-amber-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--luminous-vivid-amber) !important;}.has-light-green-cyan-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--light-green-cyan) !important;}.has-vivid-green-cyan-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-green-cyan) !important;}.has-pale-cyan-blue-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--pale-cyan-blue) !important;}.has-vivid-cyan-blue-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-cyan-blue) !important;}.has-vivid-purple-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-purple) !important;}.has-primary-1-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1) !important;}.has-primary-2-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2) !important;}.has-secondary-1-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--secondary-1) !important;}.has-shade-1-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-1) !important;}.has-shade-2-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-2) !important;}.has-shade-3-background-color{background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3) !important;}.has-black-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--black) !important;}.has-cyan-bluish-gray-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--cyan-bluish-gray) !important;}.has-white-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--white) !important;}.has-pale-pink-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--pale-pink) !important;}.has-vivid-red-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-red) !important;}.has-luminous-vivid-orange-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--luminous-vivid-orange) !important;}.has-luminous-vivid-amber-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--luminous-vivid-amber) !important;}.has-light-green-cyan-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--light-green-cyan) !important;}.has-vivid-green-cyan-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-green-cyan) !important;}.has-pale-cyan-blue-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--pale-cyan-blue) !important;}.has-vivid-cyan-blue-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-cyan-blue) !important;}.has-vivid-purple-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--vivid-purple) !important;}.has-primary-1-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1) !important;}.has-primary-2-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2) !important;}.has-secondary-1-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--secondary-1) !important;}.has-shade-1-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-1) !important;}.has-shade-2-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-2) !important;}.has-shade-3-border-color{border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3) !important;}.has-vivid-cyan-blue-to-vivid-purple-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--vivid-cyan-blue-to-vivid-purple) !important;}.has-light-green-cyan-to-vivid-green-cyan-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--light-green-cyan-to-vivid-green-cyan) !important;}.has-luminous-vivid-amber-to-luminous-vivid-orange-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--luminous-vivid-amber-to-luminous-vivid-orange) !important;}.has-luminous-vivid-orange-to-vivid-red-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--luminous-vivid-orange-to-vivid-red) !important;}.has-very-light-gray-to-cyan-bluish-gray-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--very-light-gray-to-cyan-bluish-gray) !important;}.has-cool-to-warm-spectrum-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--cool-to-warm-spectrum) !important;}.has-blush-light-purple-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--blush-light-purple) !important;}.has-blush-bordeaux-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--blush-bordeaux) !important;}.has-luminous-dusk-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--luminous-dusk) !important;}.has-pale-ocean-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--pale-ocean) !important;}.has-electric-grass-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--electric-grass) !important;}.has-midnight-gradient-background{background: var(--wp--preset--gradient--midnight) !important;}.has-small-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--small) !important;}.has-medium-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--medium) !important;}.has-large-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--large) !important;}.has-x-large-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--x-large) !important;}.has-giga-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--giga) !important;}.has-mega-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--mega) !important;}.has-alpha-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--alpha) !important;}.has-bravo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--bravo) !important;}.has-charlie-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--charlie) !important;}.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.has-rocky-compressed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-compressed) !important;}.has-rocky-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-button .wp-block-button__link.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.wp-block-button .wp-block-button__link.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-button .wp-block-button__link.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-button .wp-block-button__link.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-button .wp-block-button__link.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-ultra-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--ultra) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-giga-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--giga) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-mega-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--mega) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-alpha-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--alpha) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-bravo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--bravo) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-charlie-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--charlie) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-rocky-compressed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-compressed) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-rocky-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-heading.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-list.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.wp-block-list.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-list.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-list.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-list.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}.wp-block-list.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-list.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-list > li.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.wp-block-list > li.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-list > li.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-list > li.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-list > li.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}.wp-block-list > li.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-list > li.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-navigation.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.wp-block-navigation.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-navigation.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-navigation.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-navigation.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}.wp-block-navigation.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-navigation.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-navigation-link.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.wp-block-navigation-link.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-navigation-link.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-navigation-link.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-navigation-link.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}.wp-block-navigation-link.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-navigation-link.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}p.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}p.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}p.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}p.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}p.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}p.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}p.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-author-name.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.wp-block-post-author-name.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-post-author-name.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-post-author-name.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-post-author-name.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}.wp-block-post-author-name.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-author-name.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-content.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.wp-block-post-content.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-post-content.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-post-content.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-post-content.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}.wp-block-post-content.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-content.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-date.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.wp-block-post-date.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-post-date.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-post-date.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-post-date.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}.wp-block-post-date.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-date.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-excerpt.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.wp-block-post-excerpt.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-post-excerpt.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-post-excerpt.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-post-excerpt.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}.wp-block-post-excerpt.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-excerpt.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-terms.has-golf-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--golf) !important;}.wp-block-post-terms.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-post-terms.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-post-terms.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-post-terms.has-utopia-std-caption-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--utopia-std-caption) !important;}.wp-block-post-terms.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-terms.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-ultra-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--ultra) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-giga-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--giga) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-mega-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--mega) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-alpha-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--alpha) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-bravo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--bravo) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-charlie-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--charlie) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-rocky-compressed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-compressed) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-rocky-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-post-title.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-ultra-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--ultra) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-giga-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--giga) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-mega-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--mega) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-alpha-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--alpha) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-bravo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--bravo) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-charlie-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--charlie) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-rocky-compressed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-compressed) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-rocky-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-query-title.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}.wp-block-quote.has-ultra-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--ultra) !important;}.wp-block-quote.has-giga-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--giga) !important;}.wp-block-quote.has-mega-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--mega) !important;}.wp-block-quote.has-alpha-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--alpha) !important;}.wp-block-quote.has-bravo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--bravo) !important;}.wp-block-quote.has-charlie-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--charlie) !important;}.wp-block-quote.has-delta-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--delta) !important;}.wp-block-quote.has-echo-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--echo) !important;}.wp-block-quote.has-foxtrot-font-size{font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot) !important;}.wp-block-quote.has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family{font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important;}/* Block: Caption */ .amplify-post-featured-image-caption { font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed); font-weight: 700; margin-top: var(--wp--preset--spacing--20); } /* Block: Form */ .gform_wrapper.gravity-theme .gfield_label { font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed); font-weight: 600; } .gform_wrapper.gravity-theme .gfield input { font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed); font-weight: 400; margin-bottom: 0 !important; } .form--inverse .gfield_label, .form--inverse .gform-field-label--type-sub { color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3) !important; } .form--button-inverse input[type=submit] { background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2) !important; font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed) !important; font-weight: 600 !important; padding: 16px 32px; } /* Pattern: News Pack Hero Home Layout B */ .pat-news-package-hero--layout-b .pat-news-package-hero-secondary-posts ul li:first-child figure { width: 100%; } /* Pattern: News Pack Layout Center */ @media screen and (min-width: 600px) { .pat-news-package-cat--center__left .wp-block-query:nth-of-type(2) li:last-child article { margin-bottom: 0 !important; padding-bottom: 0 !important; } } .pat-news-pack-arch-list ul, .pat-news-pack-arch ul { padding: 0; margin: 0; list-style: none; } /* Pattern: Quote List */ .single-post-content figure.has-custom-border img { height: 100% !important; max-width: 100% !important; max-height: 100% !important; width: 100% !important; } :root :where(.wp-block-button .wp-block-button__link){background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);border-radius: 0;color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed);font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot);font-weight: 700;padding-top: var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);padding-right: var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);padding-bottom: var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);padding-left: var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);} :where(.wp-block-theonion-post-template-limited.is-layout-flex){gap: 1.25em;}:where(.wp-block-theonion-post-template-limited.is-layout-grid){gap: 1.25em;} :where(.wp-block-post-template.is-layout-flex){gap: 1.25em;}:where(.wp-block-post-template.is-layout-grid){gap: 1.25em;} :root :where(.wp-block-image cite){font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-condensed);font-size: var(--wp--preset--font-size--foxtrot);font-weight: 600;} :root :where(.wp-block-heading){font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-condensed);font-weight: 400;line-height: 1.1;margin-top: 0px;margin-bottom: 12px;} :root :where(.wp-block-navigation-link){line-height: 1.5;} :root :where(p){margin-top: 0px;margin-bottom: 12px;} :root :where(.wp-block-post-featured-image){margin-bottom: 24px;} :root :where(.wp-block-post-terms){color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--tablet-gothic-semi-condensed);font-weight: 700;line-height: 1.5;} :root :where(.wp-block-post-title){font-family: var(--wp--preset--font-family--rocky-condensed);font-weight: 400;line-height: 1.1;} :root :where(.wp-block-separator){background-color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-2);margin-top: var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);margin-bottom: var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);color: var(--wp--preset--color--shade-2);} </style> <style id='block-style-variation-styles-inline-css'> :root :where(.wp-block-button.is-style-outline--1 .wp-block-button__link){background: transparent none;border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2);padding-top: var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);padding-right: var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);padding-bottom: var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);padding-left: var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);} :root :where(.wp-block-button.is-style-outline--8 .wp-block-button__link){background: transparent none;border-color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;color: var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2);padding-top: var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);padding-right: var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);padding-bottom: var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);padding-left: var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);} </style> <style id='wp-emoji-styles-inline-css'> img.wp-smiley, img.emoji { display: inline !important; border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; height: 1em !important; width: 1em !important; margin: 0 0.07em !important; vertical-align: -0.1em !important; background: none !important; padding: 0 !important; } </style> <link rel='stylesheet' id='all-css-52' href='https://theonion.com/_static/??/wp-content/plugins/gridible/dist/front.css,/wp-content/plugins/mbm-gutenblocks/dist/front.bundle.css?m=1732205825' type='text/css' media='all' /> <style id='wp-block-template-skip-link-inline-css'> .skip-link.screen-reader-text { border: 0; clip: rect(1px,1px,1px,1px); clip-path: inset(50%); height: 1px; margin: -1px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0; position: absolute !important; width: 1px; word-wrap: normal !important; } .skip-link.screen-reader-text:focus { background-color: #eee; clip: auto !important; clip-path: none; color: #444; display: block; font-size: 1em; height: auto; left: 5px; line-height: normal; padding: 15px 23px 14px; text-decoration: none; top: 5px; width: auto; z-index: 100000; } </style> <link rel='stylesheet' id='all-css-54' href='https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/advanced-popups/public/css/advanced-popups-public.css?m=1723836157g' type='text/css' media='all' /> <link rel='stylesheet' id='gtm-consent-mode-banner-css' href='https://public-assets.tagconcierge.com/consent-banner/1.2.3/styles/light.css?ver=6.7.1' media='all' /> <style id='core-block-supports-inline-css'> .wp-elements-68568578e40ad41ba8c2aeaaeb46cb23 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-1{flex-wrap:nowrap;flex-direction:column;align-items:flex-start;justify-content:center;}.wp-elements-3f815f2406c82d81f45a785d49b9e25f a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2);}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-2{flex-wrap:nowrap;align-items:flex-end;}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-3{flex-wrap:nowrap;justify-content:space-between;align-items:flex-end;}.wp-elements-1110a152104b456affe24c0dc2ef160a a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-1);}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-4{flex-wrap:nowrap;flex-direction:column;align-items:center;justify-content:center;}.wp-container-core-navigation-is-layout-1{flex-wrap:nowrap;justify-content:center;}.wp-container-core-navigation-is-layout-2{flex-wrap:nowrap;}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-5{flex-wrap:nowrap;align-items:flex-end;}.wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-1{justify-content:center;}.wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-1{flex-wrap:nowrap;justify-content:center;}.wp-container-core-navigation-is-layout-3{justify-content:center;}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-6{flex-wrap:nowrap;justify-content:space-between;align-items:flex-end;}.wp-elements-10d82812b038ac3eb62f7d777e13847c a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-7{flex-wrap:nowrap;flex-direction:column;align-items:flex-start;justify-content:center;}.wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-2{flex-wrap:nowrap;justify-content:flex-end;}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8 > :where(:not(.alignleft):not(.alignright):not(.alignfull)){margin-right:0 !important;}.wp-elements-ede65b219c9f9b20dd0b4827629b79ad a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-container-outermost-social-sharing-is-layout-1{flex-direction:column;align-items:flex-start;}.wp-container-3{top:calc(0px + var(--wp-admin--admin-bar--position-offset, 0px));position:sticky;z-index:10;}.wp-elements-adf1c18a363848e5e7e99c469db45d3f a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-elements-adf1c18a363848e5e7e99c469db45d3f a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)):hover{color:var(--wp--preset--color--secondary-1);}.wp-elements-b0c13edcbcbd9298ad3dd64eedc9cbb9 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2);}.wp-elements-c62db0b19b430a2ee33c71e4539f38d8 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-1);}.wp-elements-cf6872159bac70342a65a5406c8a1486 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-1);}.wp-elements-92a99dc9533921d662b740f740f7dbe3 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-1);}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-17{flex-wrap:nowrap;}.wp-elements-398065caccd2e998f33db55a72b9615d a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-1);}.wp-elements-920742f95476f405cb5dd31efefced7a a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2);}.wp-elements-920742f95476f405cb5dd31efefced7a a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)):hover{color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-elements-3fbbd4b33d15e100d585de4f08173a73 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-elements-f820d62d86891df3d7265c9d671a8ff9 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-elements-370bfd51d4b8fb36e9beca22afcddfb4 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-elements-b1f7f5562b36fc95300da50b2bf47aef a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-27{flex-wrap:nowrap;align-items:flex-end;}.wp-elements-ebb0f7e05e6f58e9a930fdd12728be7a a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2);}.wp-elements-ebb0f7e05e6f58e9a930fdd12728be7a a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)):hover{color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-container-content-5{flex-basis:8px;}.wp-elements-783241acb5cff81973e8a0d04fe63ee3 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-29{flex-wrap:nowrap;align-items:flex-end;}.wp-elements-b8eea333f8f8e654207ae0ab9896632f a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2);}.wp-elements-b8eea333f8f8e654207ae0ab9896632f a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)):hover{color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-container-7{top:calc(0px + var(--wp-admin--admin-bar--position-offset, 0px));position:sticky;z-index:10;}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-31{flex-wrap:nowrap;flex-direction:column;align-items:stretch;}.wp-elements-ee6dbbd1f3c41331e237299d11c08efd a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-2{justify-content:center;}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-32 > .alignfull{margin-right:calc(var(--wp--preset--spacing--50) * -1);margin-left:calc(var(--wp--preset--spacing--50) * -1);}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-33{flex-wrap:nowrap;flex-direction:column;align-items:stretch;justify-content:space-between;}.wp-elements-685b5586ddde8c47ed14ba50990cbd7a a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-34{flex-wrap:nowrap;align-items:flex-end;}.wp-elements-1e74ae80277aba5f6a4a482c6bd1af76 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-2);}.wp-elements-1e74ae80277aba5f6a4a482c6bd1af76 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)):hover{color:var(--wp--preset--color--primary-1);}.wp-container-core-post-template-is-layout-4{grid-template-columns:repeat(4, minmax(0, 1fr));}.wp-elements-789133b74dd660dfbc43456b0abce875 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-elements-48bd461785ec17e5e39715680292c720 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-container-core-group-is-layout-38{flex-wrap:nowrap;justify-content:flex-start;}.wp-elements-5cd45e28eb22fbd3266e2f0961f95f25 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--secondary-1);}.wp-elements-d79e32ef1931b01fe89a6e11f43ac560 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-elements-d79e32ef1931b01fe89a6e11f43ac560 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)):hover{color:var(--wp--preset--color--secondary-1);}.wp-elements-a68a49898305eef3fc958a7a9f89a675 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-container-core-navigation-is-layout-4{flex-wrap:nowrap;flex-direction:column;align-items:flex-start;}.wp-elements-661655b905a975594106a0854d32e64a a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-container-core-navigation-is-layout-5{flex-direction:column;align-items:flex-start;}.wp-elements-cae5ccc5c7c815c73c630bc3620c1ae1 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-elements-5e14cd61ce73edd517b5a6a5996b9f7d a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-elements-092361cf8244bb1c0db31539d791ea00 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-elements-4a4ec1ae3d4ff26a1897d7d85cb1fd03 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-elements-243612422e37c1b1b9587d0431f20190 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-elements-450b5720b451c4ba5b2295f0df19e931 a:where(:not(.wp-element-button)){color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-3);}.wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-3{flex-wrap:nowrap;justify-content:flex-end;}.wp-duotone-ffffff-ffffff-9.wp-block-post-featured-image img, .wp-duotone-ffffff-ffffff-9.wp-block-post-featured-image .wp-block-post-featured-image__placeholder, .wp-duotone-ffffff-ffffff-9.wp-block-post-featured-image .components-placeholder__illustration, .wp-duotone-ffffff-ffffff-9.wp-block-post-featured-image .components-placeholder::before{filter:url(#wp-duotone-ffffff-ffffff-9);} </style> <link rel='stylesheet' id='all-css-58' href='https://theonion.com/wp-content/themes/the-onion/style.css?m=1732205825g' type='text/css' media='all' /> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build/hooks/index.min.js?m=1723558593g" ></script><script src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build/i18n/index.min.js?ver=5baa98e4345eccc97e24" id="wp-i18n-js"></script> <script id="wp-i18n-js-after"> wp.i18n.setLocaleData( { 'text direction\u0004ltr': [ 'ltr' ] } ); </script> <script id="gform_gravityforms-js-extra"> var gf_global = {"gf_currency_config":{"name":"U.S. Dollar","symbol_left":"$","symbol_right":"","symbol_padding":"","thousand_separator":",","decimal_separator":".","decimals":2,"code":"USD"},"base_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/gravityforms","number_formats":[],"spinnerUrl":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/gravityforms\/images\/spinner.svg","version_hash":"e6bf5d737d2b3b888b03eeb35bbf8762","strings":{"newRowAdded":"New row added.","rowRemoved":"Row removed","formSaved":"The form has been saved. The content contains the link to return and complete the form."}}; var gform_i18n = {"datepicker":{"days":{"monday":"Mo","tuesday":"Tu","wednesday":"We","thursday":"Th","friday":"Fr","saturday":"Sa","sunday":"Su"},"months":{"january":"January","february":"February","march":"March","april":"April","may":"May","june":"June","july":"July","august":"August","september":"September","october":"October","november":"November","december":"December"},"firstDay":1,"iconText":"Select date"}}; var gf_legacy_multi = {"1":""}; var gform_gravityforms = {"strings":{"invalid_file_extension":"This type of file is not allowed. Must be one of the following:","delete_file":"Delete this file","in_progress":"in progress","file_exceeds_limit":"File exceeds size limit","illegal_extension":"This type of file is not allowed.","max_reached":"Maximum number of files reached","unknown_error":"There was a problem while saving the file on the server","currently_uploading":"Please wait for the uploading to complete","cancel":"Cancel","cancel_upload":"Cancel this upload","cancelled":"Cancelled"},"vars":{"images_url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/gravityforms\/images"}}; </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://theonion.com/_static/??-eJyVjN0KwjAMhV/ILrMDvRKfpbZ1ZLRpbdLJ3t76czG8GAqBQzjfd+CeFZIN1XmGqd2t+rJ8ootI3cQ72IJUxLEY8WvYJhJPAjnUEYmhATPKck0lrgYanegfbf3/7BlmLy/dIQtUwbApGzcbst6pnHLNDLleAtqn/9Wod9N2zvG0Pw5a94deD9MDNnKAKA==" ></script><script src="https://public-assets.tagconcierge.com/consent-banner/1.2.3/cb.min.js?ver=6.7.1" id="gtm-consent-mode-banner-js"></script> <script id="gtm-consent-mode-banner-js-after"> var config = {"display":{"mode":"bar","wall":false},"consent_types":[{"name":"analytics_storage","title":"Analytics storage","description":"Enables storage, such as cookies, related to analytics (for example, visit duration)","default":"denied"},{"name":"ad_storage","title":"Ads storage","description":"Enables storage, such as cookies, related to advertising [link](https =>\/\/www.google.com)","default":"denied"},{"name":"ad_user_data","title":"User Data","description":"Sets consent for sending user data to Google for online advertising purposes.","default":"denied"},{"name":"ad_personalization","title":"Personalization","description":"Sets consent for personalized advertising.","default":"denied"}],"modal":{"title":"Cookies Policy","description":"We are using various cookies files. Learn more in our [privacy policy](#) and make your choice.","buttons":{"accept":"Accept all","settings":"Settings","reject":""}},"settings":{"title":"Cookies Settings","description":"In order to provide you with best experience we use various...","buttons":{"save":"Save preferences","close":"","reject":"Reject","accept":"Accept all"}}}; cookiesBannerJs( function() { try { var consentPreferences = JSON.parse(localStorage.getItem('consent_preferences')); return consentPreferences; } catch (error) { return null; } }, function(consentPreferences) { gtag('consent', 'update', consentPreferences); localStorage.setItem('consent_preferences', JSON.stringify(consentPreferences)); }, config ); </script> <!-- Google tag (gtag.js) snippet added by Site Kit --> <!-- Google Analytics snippet added by Site Kit --> <script src="https://www.googletagmanager.com/gtag/js?id=GT-NNSC28VG" id="google_gtagjs-js" async></script> <script id="google_gtagjs-js-after"> window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || [];function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag("set","linker",{"domains":["theonion.com"]}); gtag("js", new Date()); gtag("set", "developer_id.dZTNiMT", true); gtag("config", "GT-NNSC28VG"); </script> <!-- End Google tag (gtag.js) snippet added by Site Kit --> <link rel="EditURI" type="application/rsd+xml" title="RSD" href="https://theonion.com/xmlrpc.php?rsd" /> <meta name="generator" content="WordPress 6.7.1" /> <link rel='shortlink' href='https://theonion.com/?p=1851675091' /> <link rel="alternate" title="oEmbed (JSON)" type="application/json+oembed" href="https://theonion.com/wp-json/oembed/1.0/embed?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F" /> <link rel="alternate" title="oEmbed (XML)" type="text/xml+oembed" href="https://theonion.com/wp-json/oembed/1.0/embed?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F&format=xml" /> <link rel="preload" href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/advanced-popups/fonts/advanced-popups-icons.woff" as="font" type="font/woff" crossorigin> <meta name="generator" content="Site Kit by Google 1.139.0" /> <style>img#wpstats{display:none}</style> <script type="application/ld+json">{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"DNC Chair: It\u2019s Not A Waste Of Money If It Makes You Happy","url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy\/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy\/"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg?w=150&h=150&crop=1","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/11\/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg"},"articleSection":"Politics","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"The Onion Staff"}],"creator":["The Onion Staff"],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"The Onion","logo":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/site-logo.svg"},"keywords":["dnc","news in photos","vol 60: issue 47"],"dateCreated":"2024-11-21T13:00:00Z","datePublished":"2024-11-21T13:00:00Z","dateModified":"2024-11-21T13:00:00Z"}</script><script type="importmap" id="wp-importmap"> {"imports":{"@wordpress\/interactivity":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/gutenberg\/build-module\/interactivity\/index.min.js?ver=19.3.0"}} </script> <script type="module" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build-module/block-library/navigation/view.min.js?ver=19.3.0" id="@wordpress/block-library/navigation-js-module"></script> <script type="module" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/mbm-gutenblocks//dist/front.bundle.js?ver=4.16.1" id="@mbm/mbm-gutenblocks-view-js-module"></script> <script type="module" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/themes/the-onion/front.bundle.js?ver=1.0.0" id="amplify-theme-view-js-module"></script> <link rel="modulepreload" href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build-module/interactivity/index.min.js?ver=19.3.0" id="@wordpress/interactivity-js-modulepreload"> <!-- Google Tag Manager snippet added by Site Kit --> <script> ( function( w, d, s, l, i ) { w[l] = w[l] || []; w[l].push( {'gtm.start': new Date().getTime(), event: 'gtm.js'} ); var f = d.getElementsByTagName( s )[0], j = d.createElement( s ), dl = l != 'dataLayer' ? '&l=' + l : ''; j.async = true; j.src = 'https://www.googletagmanager.com/gtm.js?id=' + i + dl; f.parentNode.insertBefore( j, f ); } )( window, document, 'script', 'dataLayer', 'GTM-W3LV8CDQ' ); </script> <!-- End Google Tag Manager snippet added by Site Kit --> <style class='wp-fonts-local'> @font-face{font-family:utopia-std-caption;font-style:normal;font-weight:400;font-display:fallback;font-stretch:normal;} @font-face{font-family:tablet-gothic-condensed;font-style:normal;font-weight:600;font-display:fallback;font-stretch:normal;} @font-face{font-family:tablet-gothic-semi-condensed;font-style:normal;font-weight:400;font-display:fallback;font-stretch:normal;} @font-face{font-family:tablet-gothic-semi-condensed;font-style:normal;font-weight:700;font-display:fallback;font-stretch:normal;} @font-face{font-family:rocky-compressed;font-style:normal;font-weight:700;font-display:fallback;font-stretch:normal;} @font-face{font-family:rocky-condensed;font-style:normal;font-weight:400;font-display:fallback;font-stretch:normal;} </style> <link rel="icon" href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/cropped-site-icon.png?w=32" sizes="32x32" /> <link rel="icon" href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/cropped-site-icon.png?w=192" sizes="192x192" /> <link rel="apple-touch-icon" href="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/cropped-site-icon.png?w=180" /> <meta name="msapplication-TileImage" content="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/cropped-site-icon.png?w=270" /> </head> <body class="post-template-default single single-post postid-1851675091 single-format-standard wp-custom-logo wp-embed-responsive jps-theme-the-onion"> <!-- Google Tag Manager (noscript) snippet added by Site Kit --> <noscript> <iframe src="https://www.googletagmanager.com/ns.html?id=GTM-W3LV8CDQ" height="0" width="0" style="display:none;visibility:hidden"></iframe> </noscript> <!-- End Google Tag Manager (noscript) snippet added by Site Kit --> <div class="wp-site-blocks"><header class="wp-block-template-part"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-container alignfull has-global-padding onion-part-header is-layout-constrained wp-block-gridible-container-is-layout-constrained" style="padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)"> <div class="wp-block-group alignwide onion-part-header-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-container alignwide gridible-row gridible-row--flex gridible-row__all-normal gridible-row__md-normal gridible-row__lg-center gridible-row__all-standard gridible-row__md-standard gridible-row__lg-standard"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__6 gridible-col__md-4 gridible-col__lg-3 gridible-hidden--sm"> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-header-container__section-top is-vertical is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-1 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full" id="click-link-header-membership"><a href="https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001IElAfAAL" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><img decoding="async" width="752" height="216" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/newspaper-banner-tease-img_a4c2ea.jpg" alt="Old front pages of The Onion newspaper" class="wp-image-1851658371" srcset="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/newspaper-banner-tease-img_a4c2ea.jpg 752w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/newspaper-banner-tease-img_a4c2ea.jpg?resize=300,86 300w" sizes="(max-width: 752px) 100vw, 752px" /></a></figure> <p class="has-primary-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-foxtrot-font-size wp-elements-68568578e40ad41ba8c2aeaaeb46cb23" id="click-link-header-membership" style="font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:none"><a href="https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001IElAfAAL" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Get The Paper. Become A Member.</a></p> </div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background" style="margin-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)"/> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-header-container__section-bottom is-content-justification-space-between is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-3 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-header-dateline is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-2 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"><p class="has-primary-2-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family has-foxtrot-font-size wp-elements-3f815f2406c82d81f45a785d49b9e25f" style="font-style:normal;font-weight:500">Sunday, November 24, 2024</p> <div class="wp-block-theonion-weather-summary" data-wp-interactive="theonion/weather-summary" data-wp-init="callbacks.init" data-wp-context='{"isVisible": false}' data-wp-on--click="actions.onClick" data-wp-on-document--click="actions.onDocumentClick" data-wp-on--mouseenter="actions.onMouseEnter" data-wp-on--mouseleave="actions.onMouseLeave" data-wp-class--wp-block-theonion-weather-summary--open="context.isVisible" > <p class="wp-block-theonion-weather-summary__snapshot"> <img decoding="async" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/weather-icons-thunderstorm.svg" alt="Thunderstorms icon" /> <span>64°</span> </p> <p class="wp-block-theonion-weather-summary__comment">Electromagnetic storm, raining aircraft</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-8 gridible-col__lg-6"> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-header-container__section-top is-vertical is-content-justification-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-4 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"><div style="margin-bottom:0;" class="is-default-size wp-block-site-logo"><a href="https://theonion.com/" class="custom-logo-link" rel="home"><img width="646" height="103" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/site-logo.svg" class="custom-logo" alt="The Onion" decoding="async" fetchpriority="high" /></a></div> <p class="has-text-align-center has-shade-1-color has-text-color has-link-color wp-elements-1110a152104b456affe24c0dc2ef160a" style="margin-bottom:0px;font-size:clamp(0.875rem, 0.875rem + ((1vw - 0.2rem) * 0.281), 1.1rem);"><em>America’s Finest News Source</em></p> </div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background" style="margin-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)"/> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-container gridible-row gridible-row--flex gridible-row__all-start gridible-row__md-start gridible-row__lg-start gridible-row__all-standard gridible-row__md-standard gridible-row__lg-standard onion-part-header-container__section-bottom is-aligned-center"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-12 gridible-col__lg-12 gridible-hidden--sm gridible-hidden--md"><nav style="font-style:normal;font-weight:500;" class="has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-foxtrot-font-size items-justified-center no-wrap wp-block-navigation has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family is-content-justification-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-navigation-is-layout-1 wp-block-navigation-is-layout-flex" aria-label="Header Navigation - Desktop"><ul style="font-style:normal;font-weight:500;" class="wp-block-navigation__container has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-foxtrot-font-size items-justified-center no-wrap wp-block-navigation has-foxtrot-font-size has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family"><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/news"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">News</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/local"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Local</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/politics"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Politics</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/entertainment"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Entertainment</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/sports"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Sports</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/opinion"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Opinion</span></a></li><li data-wp-context="{ "submenuOpenedBy": { "click": false, "hover": false, "focus": false }, "type": "submenu" }" data-wp-interactive="core/navigation" data-wp-on--focusout="actions.handleMenuFocusout" data-wp-on--keydown="actions.handleMenuKeydown" data-wp-watch="callbacks.initMenu" tabindex="-1" class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item has-child open-on-click wp-block-navigation-submenu"><button data-wp-bind--aria-expanded="state.isMenuOpen" data-wp-on-async--click="actions.toggleMenuOnClick" aria-label="More submenu" class="wp-block-navigation-item__content wp-block-navigation-submenu__toggle" ><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">More</span></button><span class="wp-block-navigation__submenu-icon"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="12" height="12" viewBox="0 0 12 12" fill="none" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M1.50002 4L6.00002 8L10.5 4" stroke-width="1.5"></path></svg></span><ul data-wp-on-async--focus="actions.openMenuOnFocus" class="wp-block-navigation__submenu-container wp-block-navigation-submenu"><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/?s"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Search</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/latest/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">The Latest</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/video/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Video</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/horoscopes"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Horoscopes</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://store.theonion.com/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">The Onion Store</span></a></li></ul></li></ul></nav></div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-12 gridible-col__lg-12 gridible-hidden--sm gridible-hidden--lg"><nav style="font-style:normal;font-weight:500;" class="has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-foxtrot-font-size no-wrap wp-block-navigation has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-navigation-is-layout-2 wp-block-navigation-is-layout-flex" aria-label="Header Navigation - Tablet"><ul style="font-style:normal;font-weight:500;" class="wp-block-navigation__container has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-foxtrot-font-size no-wrap wp-block-navigation has-foxtrot-font-size has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family"><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/news"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">News</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/local"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Local</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/politics"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Politics</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/entertainment"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Entertainment</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/sports"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Sports</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/opinion"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Opinion</span></a></li><li data-wp-context="{ "submenuOpenedBy": { "click": false, "hover": false, "focus": false }, "type": "submenu" }" data-wp-interactive="core/navigation" data-wp-on--focusout="actions.handleMenuFocusout" data-wp-on--keydown="actions.handleMenuKeydown" data-wp-watch="callbacks.initMenu" tabindex="-1" class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item has-child open-on-click wp-block-navigation-submenu"><button data-wp-bind--aria-expanded="state.isMenuOpen" data-wp-on-async--click="actions.toggleMenuOnClick" aria-label="More submenu" class="wp-block-navigation-item__content wp-block-navigation-submenu__toggle" ><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">More</span></button><span class="wp-block-navigation__submenu-icon"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="12" height="12" viewBox="0 0 12 12" fill="none" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M1.50002 4L6.00002 8L10.5 4" stroke-width="1.5"></path></svg></span><ul data-wp-on-async--focus="actions.openMenuOnFocus" class="wp-block-navigation__submenu-container wp-block-navigation-submenu"><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/?s"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Search</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/latest/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">The Latest</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/video/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Video</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/horoscopes"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Horoscopes</span></a></li><li class="has-foxtrot-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://store.theonion.com/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">The Onion Store</span></a></li></ul></li></ul></nav></div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-12 gridible-col__lg-12 gridible-hidden--md gridible-hidden--lg"> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-header-dateline is-content-justification-space-between is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-6 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-header-dateline is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-5 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"><p class="has-primary-2-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family has-foxtrot-font-size wp-elements-3f815f2406c82d81f45a785d49b9e25f" style="font-style:normal;font-weight:500">Sunday, November 24, 2024</p> <div class="wp-block-theonion-weather-summary" data-wp-interactive="theonion/weather-summary" data-wp-init="callbacks.init" data-wp-context='{"isVisible": false}' data-wp-on--click="actions.onClick" data-wp-on-document--click="actions.onDocumentClick" data-wp-on--mouseenter="actions.onMouseEnter" data-wp-on--mouseleave="actions.onMouseLeave" data-wp-class--wp-block-theonion-weather-summary--open="context.isVisible" > <p class="wp-block-theonion-weather-summary__snapshot"> <img decoding="async" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/weather-icons-thunderstorm.svg" alt="Thunderstorms icon" /> <span>64°</span> </p> <p class="wp-block-theonion-weather-summary__comment">Electromagnetic storm, raining aircraft</p> </div> </div> <nav style="font-style:normal;font-weight:500;" class="has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-delta-font-size is-responsive items-justified-center wp-block-navigation has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-navigation-is-layout-3 wp-block-navigation-is-layout-flex block-visibility-hide-large-screen block-visibility-hide-medium-screen" aria-label="Header Navigation - Mobile" data-wp-interactive="core/navigation" data-wp-context='{"overlayOpenedBy":{"click":false,"hover":false,"focus":false},"type":"overlay","roleAttribute":"","ariaLabel":"Menu"}'><button aria-haspopup="dialog" class="wp-block-navigation__responsive-container-open always-shown" data-wp-on-async--click="actions.openMenuOnClick" data-wp-on--keydown="actions.handleMenuKeydown" >Menu</button> <div class="wp-block-navigation__responsive-container hidden-by-default " id="modal-2" data-wp-class--has-modal-open="state.isMenuOpen" data-wp-class--is-menu-open="state.isMenuOpen" data-wp-watch="callbacks.initMenu" data-wp-on--keydown="actions.handleMenuKeydown" data-wp-on-async--focusout="actions.handleMenuFocusout" tabindex="-1" > <div class="wp-block-navigation__responsive-close" tabindex="-1"> <div class="wp-block-navigation__responsive-dialog" data-wp-bind--aria-modal="state.ariaModal" data-wp-bind--aria-label="state.ariaLabel" data-wp-bind--role="state.roleAttribute" > <button class="wp-block-navigation__responsive-container-close" data-wp-on-async--click="actions.closeMenuOnClick" >Close</button> <div class="wp-block-navigation__responsive-container-content" data-wp-watch="callbacks.focusFirstElement" id="modal-2-content"> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-align-self-center is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-1 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button has-custom-width wp-block-button__width-100 has-custom-font-size is-style-outline has-foxtrot-font-size is-style-outline--1"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-border-color has-shade-3-border-color has-text-align-center wp-element-button" href="https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001geUujAAE" style="border-width:1px;border-radius:0px" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Become A Member</a></div> </div> <ul style="font-style:normal;font-weight:500;" class="wp-block-navigation__container has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-delta-font-size is-responsive items-justified-center wp-block-navigation has-delta-font-size has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family"><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/latest/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">The Latest</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/news"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">News</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/local"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Local</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/politics"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Politics</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/entertainment"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Entertainment</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/sports"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Sports</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/opinion"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Opinion</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/video/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Video</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/?s"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Search</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/horoscopes"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Horoscopes</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/about-us/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">About Us</span></a></li><li class="has-delta-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://store.theonion.com/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">The Onion Store</span></a></li><li class="wp-block-navigation-item"> <ul class="wp-block-social-links has-normal-icon-size has-icon-color is-style-logos-only is-content-justification-center is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-1 wp-block-social-links-is-layout-flex" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px"><li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-instagram has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://instagram.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M12,4.622c2.403,0,2.688,0.009,3.637,0.052c0.877,0.04,1.354,0.187,1.671,0.31c0.42,0.163,0.72,0.358,1.035,0.673 c0.315,0.315,0.51,0.615,0.673,1.035c0.123,0.317,0.27,0.794,0.31,1.671c0.043,0.949,0.052,1.234,0.052,3.637 s-0.009,2.688-0.052,3.637c-0.04,0.877-0.187,1.354-0.31,1.671c-0.163,0.42-0.358,0.72-0.673,1.035 c-0.315,0.315-0.615,0.51-1.035,0.673c-0.317,0.123-0.794,0.27-1.671,0.31c-0.949,0.043-1.233,0.052-3.637,0.052 s-2.688-0.009-3.637-0.052c-0.877-0.04-1.354-0.187-1.671-0.31c-0.42-0.163-0.72-0.358-1.035-0.673 c-0.315-0.315-0.51-0.615-0.673-1.035c-0.123-0.317-0.27-0.794-0.31-1.671C4.631,14.688,4.622,14.403,4.622,12 s0.009-2.688,0.052-3.637c0.04-0.877,0.187-1.354,0.31-1.671c0.163-0.42,0.358-0.72,0.673-1.035 c0.315-0.315,0.615-0.51,1.035-0.673c0.317-0.123,0.794-0.27,1.671-0.31C9.312,4.631,9.597,4.622,12,4.622 M12,3 C9.556,3,9.249,3.01,8.289,3.054C7.331,3.098,6.677,3.25,6.105,3.472C5.513,3.702,5.011,4.01,4.511,4.511 c-0.5,0.5-0.808,1.002-1.038,1.594C3.25,6.677,3.098,7.331,3.054,8.289C3.01,9.249,3,9.556,3,12c0,2.444,0.01,2.751,0.054,3.711 c0.044,0.958,0.196,1.612,0.418,2.185c0.23,0.592,0.538,1.094,1.038,1.594c0.5,0.5,1.002,0.808,1.594,1.038 c0.572,0.222,1.227,0.375,2.185,0.418C9.249,20.99,9.556,21,12,21s2.751-0.01,3.711-0.054c0.958-0.044,1.612-0.196,2.185-0.418 c0.592-0.23,1.094-0.538,1.594-1.038c0.5-0.5,0.808-1.002,1.038-1.594c0.222-0.572,0.375-1.227,0.418-2.185 C20.99,14.751,21,14.444,21,12s-0.01-2.751-0.054-3.711c-0.044-0.958-0.196-1.612-0.418-2.185c-0.23-0.592-0.538-1.094-1.038-1.594 c-0.5-0.5-1.002-0.808-1.594-1.038c-0.572-0.222-1.227-0.375-2.185-0.418C14.751,3.01,14.444,3,12,3L12,3z M12,7.378 c-2.552,0-4.622,2.069-4.622,4.622S9.448,16.622,12,16.622s4.622-2.069,4.622-4.622S14.552,7.378,12,7.378z M12,15 c-1.657,0-3-1.343-3-3s1.343-3,3-3s3,1.343,3,3S13.657,15,12,15z M16.804,6.116c-0.596,0-1.08,0.484-1.08,1.08 s0.484,1.08,1.08,1.08c0.596,0,1.08-0.484,1.08-1.08S17.401,6.116,16.804,6.116z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Instagram</span></a></li> <li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-twitter has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M22.23,5.924c-0.736,0.326-1.527,0.547-2.357,0.646c0.847-0.508,1.498-1.312,1.804-2.27 c-0.793,0.47-1.671,0.812-2.606,0.996C18.324,4.498,17.257,4,16.077,4c-2.266,0-4.103,1.837-4.103,4.103 c0,0.322,0.036,0.635,0.106,0.935C8.67,8.867,5.647,7.234,3.623,4.751C3.27,5.357,3.067,6.062,3.067,6.814 c0,1.424,0.724,2.679,1.825,3.415c-0.673-0.021-1.305-0.206-1.859-0.513c0,0.017,0,0.034,0,0.052c0,1.988,1.414,3.647,3.292,4.023 c-0.344,0.094-0.707,0.144-1.081,0.144c-0.264,0-0.521-0.026-0.772-0.074c0.522,1.63,2.038,2.816,3.833,2.85 c-1.404,1.1-3.174,1.756-5.096,1.756c-0.331,0-0.658-0.019-0.979-0.057c1.816,1.164,3.973,1.843,6.29,1.843 c7.547,0,11.675-6.252,11.675-11.675c0-0.178-0.004-0.355-0.012-0.531C20.985,7.47,21.68,6.747,22.23,5.924z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Twitter</span></a></li> <li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-facebook has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://facebook.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Facebook</span></a></li> <li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-youtube has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://youtube.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M21.8,8.001c0,0-0.195-1.378-0.795-1.985c-0.76-0.797-1.613-0.801-2.004-0.847c-2.799-0.202-6.997-0.202-6.997-0.202 h-0.009c0,0-4.198,0-6.997,0.202C4.608,5.216,3.756,5.22,2.995,6.016C2.395,6.623,2.2,8.001,2.2,8.001S2,9.62,2,11.238v1.517 c0,1.618,0.2,3.237,0.2,3.237s0.195,1.378,0.795,1.985c0.761,0.797,1.76,0.771,2.205,0.855c1.6,0.153,6.8,0.201,6.8,0.201 s4.203-0.006,7.001-0.209c0.391-0.047,1.243-0.051,2.004-0.847c0.6-0.607,0.795-1.985,0.795-1.985s0.2-1.618,0.2-3.237v-1.517 C22,9.62,21.8,8.001,21.8,8.001z M9.935,14.594l-0.001-5.62l5.404,2.82L9.935,14.594z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">YouTube</span></a></li> <li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-tiktok has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 32 32" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M16.708 0.027c1.745-0.027 3.48-0.011 5.213-0.027 0.105 2.041 0.839 4.12 2.333 5.563 1.491 1.479 3.6 2.156 5.652 2.385v5.369c-1.923-0.063-3.855-0.463-5.6-1.291-0.76-0.344-1.468-0.787-2.161-1.24-0.009 3.896 0.016 7.787-0.025 11.667-0.104 1.864-0.719 3.719-1.803 5.255-1.744 2.557-4.771 4.224-7.88 4.276-1.907 0.109-3.812-0.411-5.437-1.369-2.693-1.588-4.588-4.495-4.864-7.615-0.032-0.667-0.043-1.333-0.016-1.984 0.24-2.537 1.495-4.964 3.443-6.615 2.208-1.923 5.301-2.839 8.197-2.297 0.027 1.975-0.052 3.948-0.052 5.923-1.323-0.428-2.869-0.308-4.025 0.495-0.844 0.547-1.485 1.385-1.819 2.333-0.276 0.676-0.197 1.427-0.181 2.145 0.317 2.188 2.421 4.027 4.667 3.828 1.489-0.016 2.916-0.88 3.692-2.145 0.251-0.443 0.532-0.896 0.547-1.417 0.131-2.385 0.079-4.76 0.095-7.145 0.011-5.375-0.016-10.735 0.025-16.093z" /></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">TikTok</span></a></li> <li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-bluesky has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://bsky.app/profile/theonion.com" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M6.3,4.2c2.3,1.7,4.8,5.3,5.7,7.2.9-1.9,3.4-5.4,5.7-7.2,1.7-1.3,4.3-2.2,4.3.9s-.4,5.2-.6,5.9c-.7,2.6-3.3,3.2-5.6,2.8,4,.7,5.1,3,2.9,5.3-5,5.2-6.7-2.8-6.7-2.8,0,0-1.7,8-6.7,2.8-2.2-2.3-1.2-4.6,2.9-5.3-2.3.4-4.9-.3-5.6-2.8-.2-.7-.6-5.3-.6-5.9,0-3.1,2.7-2.1,4.3-.9h0Z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Bluesky</span></a></li></ul> </li></ul> </div> </div> </div> </div></nav></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__6 gridible-col__md-3 gridible-col__lg-3 gridible-hidden--sm gridible-hidden--md"> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-header-container__section-top is-vertical is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><a href="https://store.theonion.com"><img decoding="async" width="752" height="216" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/shop-promo-img.png" alt="Official The Onion merchandise that can be found in The Onion store." class="wp-image-114" srcset="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/shop-promo-img.png 752w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/shop-promo-img.png?resize=300,86 300w" sizes="(max-width: 752px) 100vw, 752px" /></a></figure> <p class="has-primary-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-foxtrot-font-size wp-elements-10d82812b038ac3eb62f7d777e13847c" style="font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:none"><a href="https://store.theonion.com">Shop The Online Store</a>.</p> </div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background" style="margin-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)"/> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-header-container__section-bottom has-global-padding is-content-justification-right is-layout-constrained wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8 wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained"> <ul class="wp-block-social-links has-small-icon-size has-icon-color is-style-logos-only is-content-justification-right is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-2 wp-block-social-links-is-layout-flex" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px"><li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-instagram has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://instagram.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M12,4.622c2.403,0,2.688,0.009,3.637,0.052c0.877,0.04,1.354,0.187,1.671,0.31c0.42,0.163,0.72,0.358,1.035,0.673 c0.315,0.315,0.51,0.615,0.673,1.035c0.123,0.317,0.27,0.794,0.31,1.671c0.043,0.949,0.052,1.234,0.052,3.637 s-0.009,2.688-0.052,3.637c-0.04,0.877-0.187,1.354-0.31,1.671c-0.163,0.42-0.358,0.72-0.673,1.035 c-0.315,0.315-0.615,0.51-1.035,0.673c-0.317,0.123-0.794,0.27-1.671,0.31c-0.949,0.043-1.233,0.052-3.637,0.052 s-2.688-0.009-3.637-0.052c-0.877-0.04-1.354-0.187-1.671-0.31c-0.42-0.163-0.72-0.358-1.035-0.673 c-0.315-0.315-0.51-0.615-0.673-1.035c-0.123-0.317-0.27-0.794-0.31-1.671C4.631,14.688,4.622,14.403,4.622,12 s0.009-2.688,0.052-3.637c0.04-0.877,0.187-1.354,0.31-1.671c0.163-0.42,0.358-0.72,0.673-1.035 c0.315-0.315,0.615-0.51,1.035-0.673c0.317-0.123,0.794-0.27,1.671-0.31C9.312,4.631,9.597,4.622,12,4.622 M12,3 C9.556,3,9.249,3.01,8.289,3.054C7.331,3.098,6.677,3.25,6.105,3.472C5.513,3.702,5.011,4.01,4.511,4.511 c-0.5,0.5-0.808,1.002-1.038,1.594C3.25,6.677,3.098,7.331,3.054,8.289C3.01,9.249,3,9.556,3,12c0,2.444,0.01,2.751,0.054,3.711 c0.044,0.958,0.196,1.612,0.418,2.185c0.23,0.592,0.538,1.094,1.038,1.594c0.5,0.5,1.002,0.808,1.594,1.038 c0.572,0.222,1.227,0.375,2.185,0.418C9.249,20.99,9.556,21,12,21s2.751-0.01,3.711-0.054c0.958-0.044,1.612-0.196,2.185-0.418 c0.592-0.23,1.094-0.538,1.594-1.038c0.5-0.5,0.808-1.002,1.038-1.594c0.222-0.572,0.375-1.227,0.418-2.185 C20.99,14.751,21,14.444,21,12s-0.01-2.751-0.054-3.711c-0.044-0.958-0.196-1.612-0.418-2.185c-0.23-0.592-0.538-1.094-1.038-1.594 c-0.5-0.5-1.002-0.808-1.594-1.038c-0.572-0.222-1.227-0.375-2.185-0.418C14.751,3.01,14.444,3,12,3L12,3z M12,7.378 c-2.552,0-4.622,2.069-4.622,4.622S9.448,16.622,12,16.622s4.622-2.069,4.622-4.622S14.552,7.378,12,7.378z M12,15 c-1.657,0-3-1.343-3-3s1.343-3,3-3s3,1.343,3,3S13.657,15,12,15z M16.804,6.116c-0.596,0-1.08,0.484-1.08,1.08 s0.484,1.08,1.08,1.08c0.596,0,1.08-0.484,1.08-1.08S17.401,6.116,16.804,6.116z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Instagram</span></a></li> <li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-twitter has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M22.23,5.924c-0.736,0.326-1.527,0.547-2.357,0.646c0.847-0.508,1.498-1.312,1.804-2.27 c-0.793,0.47-1.671,0.812-2.606,0.996C18.324,4.498,17.257,4,16.077,4c-2.266,0-4.103,1.837-4.103,4.103 c0,0.322,0.036,0.635,0.106,0.935C8.67,8.867,5.647,7.234,3.623,4.751C3.27,5.357,3.067,6.062,3.067,6.814 c0,1.424,0.724,2.679,1.825,3.415c-0.673-0.021-1.305-0.206-1.859-0.513c0,0.017,0,0.034,0,0.052c0,1.988,1.414,3.647,3.292,4.023 c-0.344,0.094-0.707,0.144-1.081,0.144c-0.264,0-0.521-0.026-0.772-0.074c0.522,1.63,2.038,2.816,3.833,2.85 c-1.404,1.1-3.174,1.756-5.096,1.756c-0.331,0-0.658-0.019-0.979-0.057c1.816,1.164,3.973,1.843,6.29,1.843 c7.547,0,11.675-6.252,11.675-11.675c0-0.178-0.004-0.355-0.012-0.531C20.985,7.47,21.68,6.747,22.23,5.924z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Twitter</span></a></li> <li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-facebook has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://facebook.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Facebook</span></a></li> <li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-youtube has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://youtube.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M21.8,8.001c0,0-0.195-1.378-0.795-1.985c-0.76-0.797-1.613-0.801-2.004-0.847c-2.799-0.202-6.997-0.202-6.997-0.202 h-0.009c0,0-4.198,0-6.997,0.202C4.608,5.216,3.756,5.22,2.995,6.016C2.395,6.623,2.2,8.001,2.2,8.001S2,9.62,2,11.238v1.517 c0,1.618,0.2,3.237,0.2,3.237s0.195,1.378,0.795,1.985c0.761,0.797,1.76,0.771,2.205,0.855c1.6,0.153,6.8,0.201,6.8,0.201 s4.203-0.006,7.001-0.209c0.391-0.047,1.243-0.051,2.004-0.847c0.6-0.607,0.795-1.985,0.795-1.985s0.2-1.618,0.2-3.237v-1.517 C22,9.62,21.8,8.001,21.8,8.001z M9.935,14.594l-0.001-5.62l5.404,2.82L9.935,14.594z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">YouTube</span></a></li> <li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-tiktok has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 32 32" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M16.708 0.027c1.745-0.027 3.48-0.011 5.213-0.027 0.105 2.041 0.839 4.12 2.333 5.563 1.491 1.479 3.6 2.156 5.652 2.385v5.369c-1.923-0.063-3.855-0.463-5.6-1.291-0.76-0.344-1.468-0.787-2.161-1.24-0.009 3.896 0.016 7.787-0.025 11.667-0.104 1.864-0.719 3.719-1.803 5.255-1.744 2.557-4.771 4.224-7.88 4.276-1.907 0.109-3.812-0.411-5.437-1.369-2.693-1.588-4.588-4.495-4.864-7.615-0.032-0.667-0.043-1.333-0.016-1.984 0.24-2.537 1.495-4.964 3.443-6.615 2.208-1.923 5.301-2.839 8.197-2.297 0.027 1.975-0.052 3.948-0.052 5.923-1.323-0.428-2.869-0.308-4.025 0.495-0.844 0.547-1.485 1.385-1.819 2.333-0.276 0.676-0.197 1.427-0.181 2.145 0.317 2.188 2.421 4.027 4.667 3.828 1.489-0.016 2.916-0.88 3.692-2.145 0.251-0.443 0.532-0.896 0.547-1.417 0.131-2.385 0.079-4.76 0.095-7.145 0.011-5.375-0.016-10.735 0.025-16.093z" /></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">TikTok</span></a></li> <li style="color: #006B3A; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-bluesky has-primary-1-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://bsky.app/profile/theonion.com" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M6.3,4.2c2.3,1.7,4.8,5.3,5.7,7.2.9-1.9,3.4-5.4,5.7-7.2,1.7-1.3,4.3-2.2,4.3.9s-.4,5.2-.6,5.9c-.7,2.6-3.3,3.2-5.6,2.8,4,.7,5.1,3,2.9,5.3-5,5.2-6.7-2.8-6.7-2.8,0,0-1.7,8-6.7,2.8-2.2-2.3-1.2-4.6,2.9-5.3-2.3.4-4.9-.3-5.6-2.8-.2-.7-.6-5.3-.6-5.9,0-3.1,2.7-2.1,4.3-.9h0Z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Bluesky</span></a></li></ul> </div> </div> </div> <hr class="wp-block-separator alignwide has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background is-style-double" style="margin-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);margin-bottom:0px"/> </div> </div> </header> <main class="wp-block-gridible-container alignfull has-global-padding is-layout-constrained wp-block-gridible-container-is-layout-constrained" style="padding-top:0;padding-bottom:0"> <div class="wp-block-group alignwide onion-temp-page-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;padding-top:0;padding-bottom:0px"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-container gridible-row gridible-row--flex gridible-row__all-start gridible-row__md-normal gridible-row__lg-normal gridible-row__all-standard gridible-row__md-standard gridible-row__lg-standard pat-news-package"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__6 gridible-col__md-2 gridible-col__lg-1 gridible-hidden--sm gridible-hidden--md"> <aside class="wp-block-group has-full-height is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <p class="has-primary-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-foxtrot-font-size wp-elements-ede65b219c9f9b20dd0b4827629b79ad" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:none">Share</p> <div class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow wp-container-3 is-position-sticky"> <ul class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing has-small-icon-size has-icon-color has-icon-background-color is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-outermost-social-sharing-is-layout-1 wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-is-layout-flex"><li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-facebook has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F&title=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy" aria-label="Share on Facebook" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z"></path></svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Share on Facebook </span> </a> </li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-bluesky has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="https://bsky.app/intent/compose?text=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy%20—%20https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F" aria-label="Bluesky" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M6.3,4.2c2.3,1.7,4.8,5.3,5.7,7.2.9-1.9,3.4-5.4,5.7-7.2,1.7-1.3,4.3-2.2,4.3.9s-.4,5.2-.6,5.9c-.7,2.6-3.3,3.2-5.6,2.8,4,.7,5.1,3,2.9,5.3-5,5.2-6.7-2.8-6.7-2.8,0,0-1.7,8-6.7,2.8-2.2-2.3-1.2-4.6,2.9-5.3-2.3.4-4.9-.3-5.6-2.8-.2-.7-.6-5.3-.6-5.9,0-3.1,2.7-2.1,4.3-.9h0Z" fill-rule="evenodd"/></svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Bluesky </span> </a> </li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-x has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="https://x.com/share?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F&text=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy" aria-label="Share on X" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="17" height="13" viewBox="0 0 17 13" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"> <path d="M14.8562 3.24209C14.8656 3.38271 14.8656 3.52646 14.8656 3.66709C14.8656 8.00146 11.5656 12.9983 5.53438 12.9983C3.675 12.9983 1.95 12.4608 0.5 11.5265C0.7625 11.5577 1.01875 11.5671 1.29062 11.5671C2.825 11.5671 4.23438 11.0483 5.3625 10.1671C3.92188 10.1358 2.7125 9.19209 2.29688 7.89209C2.5 7.92334 2.70312 7.94209 2.91563 7.94209C3.20938 7.94209 3.50312 7.90146 3.77813 7.82959C2.275 7.52646 1.15 6.20459 1.15 4.61084V4.57021C1.5875 4.81396 2.09375 4.96709 2.63125 4.98584C1.74687 4.39834 1.16875 3.39209 1.16875 2.25459C1.16875 1.64521 1.33125 1.08584 1.61563 0.59834C3.23125 2.58896 5.65625 3.88896 8.37813 4.02959C8.32812 3.78584 8.29688 3.53271 8.29688 3.27959C8.29688 1.47334 9.75937 0.00146484 11.575 0.00146484C12.5188 0.00146484 13.3719 0.39834 13.9719 1.03584C14.7125 0.895215 15.425 0.620215 16.0531 0.245215C15.8094 1.00771 15.2906 1.64521 14.6125 2.05146C15.2719 1.97959 15.9125 1.79834 16.5 1.54521C16.0531 2.19521 15.4937 2.77334 14.8562 3.24209Z"/> </svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Share on X </span> </a> </li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-linkedin has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F&title=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy" aria-label="Share on LinkedIn" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M19.7,3H4.3C3.582,3,3,3.582,3,4.3v15.4C3,20.418,3.582,21,4.3,21h15.4c0.718,0,1.3-0.582,1.3-1.3V4.3 C21,3.582,20.418,3,19.7,3z M8.339,18.338H5.667v-8.59h2.672V18.338z M7.004,8.574c-0.857,0-1.549-0.694-1.549-1.548 c0-0.855,0.691-1.548,1.549-1.548c0.854,0,1.547,0.694,1.547,1.548C8.551,7.881,7.858,8.574,7.004,8.574z M18.339,18.338h-2.669 v-4.177c0-0.996-0.017-2.278-1.387-2.278c-1.389,0-1.601,1.086-1.601,2.206v4.249h-2.667v-8.59h2.559v1.174h0.037 c0.356-0.675,1.227-1.387,2.526-1.387c2.703,0,3.203,1.779,3.203,4.092V18.338z"></path></svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Share on LinkedIn </span> </a> </li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-sms has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="sms:?&body=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy%20—%20https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F" aria-label="Share on SMS" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M17.696 4C20.069 4 22 5.973 22 8.398v4.357c0 2.04-1.368 3.783-3.261 4.266v4.427l-5.234-4.295h-7.2C3.93 17.153 2 15.18 2 12.755V8.398C2 5.973 3.931 4 6.304 4h11.392ZM7.028 8.515c-.98 0-1.66.562-1.66 1.349-.009.497.322.91.985 1.178l.39.142c.242.097.305.171.305.297 0 .162-.131.251-.442.251s-.76-.135-1.004-.284l-.112.046-.215.868c.359.258.832.364 1.33.364 1.104 0 1.764-.523 1.764-1.333-.008-.574-.305-.956-.954-1.216l-.393-.146c-.266-.108-.341-.181-.341-.287 0-.152.131-.243.387-.243.274 0 .587.093.808.214l.109-.047.214-.837c-.315-.224-.741-.316-1.171-.316Zm10.302 0c-.98 0-1.66.562-1.66 1.349-.008.497.322.91.985 1.178l.39.142c.243.097.305.171.305.297 0 .162-.13.251-.442.251-.311 0-.76-.135-1.004-.284l-.112.046-.215.868c.359.258.832.364 1.33.364 1.104 0 1.764-.523 1.764-1.333-.008-.574-.305-.956-.954-1.216l-.393-.146c-.266-.108-.341-.181-.341-.287 0-.152.131-.243.387-.243.274 0 .587.093.808.214l.109-.047.214-.837c-.316-.224-.741-.316-1.171-.316Zm-3.733 0c-.297 0-.55.066-.78.202l-.144.098a1.823 1.823 0 0 0-.264.247l-.078.095-.027-.077c-.15-.34-.55-.565-1.033-.565l-.169.007a1.363 1.363 0 0 0-.896.42l-.08.09-.038-.363-.075-.067H8.994l-.075.079.024.634c.005.2.008.397.008.604v2.652l.075.075h1.178l.075-.075v-2.269c0-.113.012-.202.042-.274.083-.23.262-.392.496-.392.314 0 .483.267.483.753v2.182l.075.075h1.179l.075-.075v-2.277c0-.097.016-.213.043-.285.077-.224.26-.373.486-.373.33 0 .5.272.5.817v2.118l.074.075h1.179l.075-.075v-2.293c0-1.131-.537-1.763-1.39-1.763Z"/></svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Share on SMS </span> </a> </li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-mail has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="mailto:?subject=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy&body=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy%20—%20https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F" aria-label="Email this Page" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M20,4H4C2.895,4,2,4.895,2,6v12c0,1.105,0.895,2,2,2h16c1.105,0,2-0.895,2-2V6C22,4.895,21.105,4,20,4z M20,8.236l-8,4.882 L4,8.236V6h16V8.236z"></path></svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Email this Page </span> </a> </li> </ul> </div> </aside> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-8 gridible-col__lg-7 pat-news-package-list"> <article class="wp-block-group alignfull is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <header class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"><div style="text-transform:none;margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)" class="taxonomy-category has-link-color wp-elements-adf1c18a363848e5e7e99c469db45d3f wp-block-post-terms has-text-color has-primary-1-color has-foxtrot-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/politics/" rel="tag">Politics</a></div> <h1 style="font-style:normal;font-weight:800;line-height:1; margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);" class="has-link-color wp-elements-b0c13edcbcbd9298ad3dd64eedc9cbb9 wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-alpha-font-size has-rocky-compressed-font-family">DNC Chair: It’s Not A Waste Of Money If It Makes You Happy</h1> <div class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--sm" style="height:32px" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--md gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:24px" aria-hidden="true"></div> </div> <figure class="wp-block-post-featured-image"><img width="1024" height="776" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg?w=1024" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="" style="object-fit:cover;" decoding="async" srcset="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg 2000w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg?resize=300,227 300w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg?resize=768,582 768w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg?resize=1024,776 1024w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DNC_Chair_SB_PH-2-1.jpg?resize=1536,1164 1536w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure> <aside class="wp-block-group has-full-height is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow block-visibility-hide-large-screen"> <p class="has-primary-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-foxtrot-font-size wp-elements-ede65b219c9f9b20dd0b4827629b79ad" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:none">Share</p> <div class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <ul class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing has-normal-icon-size has-icon-color has-icon-background-color is-horizontal is-layout-flex wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-is-layout-flex" style="margin-top:0px"><li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-facebook has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F&title=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy" aria-label="Share on Facebook" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z"></path></svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Share on Facebook </span> </a> </li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-bluesky has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="https://bsky.app/intent/compose?text=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy%20—%20https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F" aria-label="Bluesky" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M6.3,4.2c2.3,1.7,4.8,5.3,5.7,7.2.9-1.9,3.4-5.4,5.7-7.2,1.7-1.3,4.3-2.2,4.3.9s-.4,5.2-.6,5.9c-.7,2.6-3.3,3.2-5.6,2.8,4,.7,5.1,3,2.9,5.3-5,5.2-6.7-2.8-6.7-2.8,0,0-1.7,8-6.7,2.8-2.2-2.3-1.2-4.6,2.9-5.3-2.3.4-4.9-.3-5.6-2.8-.2-.7-.6-5.3-.6-5.9,0-3.1,2.7-2.1,4.3-.9h0Z" fill-rule="evenodd"/></svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Bluesky </span> </a> </li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-x has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="https://x.com/share?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F&text=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy" aria-label="Share on X" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="17" height="13" viewBox="0 0 17 13" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"> <path d="M14.8562 3.24209C14.8656 3.38271 14.8656 3.52646 14.8656 3.66709C14.8656 8.00146 11.5656 12.9983 5.53438 12.9983C3.675 12.9983 1.95 12.4608 0.5 11.5265C0.7625 11.5577 1.01875 11.5671 1.29062 11.5671C2.825 11.5671 4.23438 11.0483 5.3625 10.1671C3.92188 10.1358 2.7125 9.19209 2.29688 7.89209C2.5 7.92334 2.70312 7.94209 2.91563 7.94209C3.20938 7.94209 3.50312 7.90146 3.77813 7.82959C2.275 7.52646 1.15 6.20459 1.15 4.61084V4.57021C1.5875 4.81396 2.09375 4.96709 2.63125 4.98584C1.74687 4.39834 1.16875 3.39209 1.16875 2.25459C1.16875 1.64521 1.33125 1.08584 1.61563 0.59834C3.23125 2.58896 5.65625 3.88896 8.37813 4.02959C8.32812 3.78584 8.29688 3.53271 8.29688 3.27959C8.29688 1.47334 9.75937 0.00146484 11.575 0.00146484C12.5188 0.00146484 13.3719 0.39834 13.9719 1.03584C14.7125 0.895215 15.425 0.620215 16.0531 0.245215C15.8094 1.00771 15.2906 1.64521 14.6125 2.05146C15.2719 1.97959 15.9125 1.79834 16.5 1.54521C16.0531 2.19521 15.4937 2.77334 14.8562 3.24209Z"/> </svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Share on X </span> </a> </li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-linkedin has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F&title=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy" aria-label="Share on LinkedIn" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M19.7,3H4.3C3.582,3,3,3.582,3,4.3v15.4C3,20.418,3.582,21,4.3,21h15.4c0.718,0,1.3-0.582,1.3-1.3V4.3 C21,3.582,20.418,3,19.7,3z M8.339,18.338H5.667v-8.59h2.672V18.338z M7.004,8.574c-0.857,0-1.549-0.694-1.549-1.548 c0-0.855,0.691-1.548,1.549-1.548c0.854,0,1.547,0.694,1.547,1.548C8.551,7.881,7.858,8.574,7.004,8.574z M18.339,18.338h-2.669 v-4.177c0-0.996-0.017-2.278-1.387-2.278c-1.389,0-1.601,1.086-1.601,2.206v4.249h-2.667v-8.59h2.559v1.174h0.037 c0.356-0.675,1.227-1.387,2.526-1.387c2.703,0,3.203,1.779,3.203,4.092V18.338z"></path></svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Share on LinkedIn </span> </a> </li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-sms has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="sms:?&body=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy%20—%20https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F" aria-label="Share on SMS" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M17.696 4C20.069 4 22 5.973 22 8.398v4.357c0 2.04-1.368 3.783-3.261 4.266v4.427l-5.234-4.295h-7.2C3.93 17.153 2 15.18 2 12.755V8.398C2 5.973 3.931 4 6.304 4h11.392ZM7.028 8.515c-.98 0-1.66.562-1.66 1.349-.009.497.322.91.985 1.178l.39.142c.242.097.305.171.305.297 0 .162-.131.251-.442.251s-.76-.135-1.004-.284l-.112.046-.215.868c.359.258.832.364 1.33.364 1.104 0 1.764-.523 1.764-1.333-.008-.574-.305-.956-.954-1.216l-.393-.146c-.266-.108-.341-.181-.341-.287 0-.152.131-.243.387-.243.274 0 .587.093.808.214l.109-.047.214-.837c-.315-.224-.741-.316-1.171-.316Zm10.302 0c-.98 0-1.66.562-1.66 1.349-.008.497.322.91.985 1.178l.39.142c.243.097.305.171.305.297 0 .162-.13.251-.442.251-.311 0-.76-.135-1.004-.284l-.112.046-.215.868c.359.258.832.364 1.33.364 1.104 0 1.764-.523 1.764-1.333-.008-.574-.305-.956-.954-1.216l-.393-.146c-.266-.108-.341-.181-.341-.287 0-.152.131-.243.387-.243.274 0 .587.093.808.214l.109-.047.214-.837c-.316-.224-.741-.316-1.171-.316Zm-3.733 0c-.297 0-.55.066-.78.202l-.144.098a1.823 1.823 0 0 0-.264.247l-.078.095-.027-.077c-.15-.34-.55-.565-1.033-.565l-.169.007a1.363 1.363 0 0 0-.896.42l-.08.09-.038-.363-.075-.067H8.994l-.075.079.024.634c.005.2.008.397.008.604v2.652l.075.075h1.178l.075-.075v-2.269c0-.113.012-.202.042-.274.083-.23.262-.392.496-.392.314 0 .483.267.483.753v2.182l.075.075h1.179l.075-.075v-2.277c0-.097.016-.213.043-.285.077-.224.26-.373.486-.373.33 0 .5.272.5.817v2.118l.074.075h1.179l.075-.075v-2.293c0-1.131-.537-1.763-1.39-1.763Z"/></svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Share on SMS </span> </a> </li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="outermost-social-sharing-link outermost-social-sharing-link-mail has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link"> <a href="mailto:?subject=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy&body=DNC%20Chair%3A%20It%E2%80%99s%20Not%20A%20Waste%20Of%20Money%20If%20It%20Makes%20You%20Happy%20—%20https%3A%2F%2Ftheonion.com%2Fdnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy%2F" aria-label="Email this Page" class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-anchor"> <svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M20,4H4C2.895,4,2,4.895,2,6v12c0,1.105,0.895,2,2,2h16c1.105,0,2-0.895,2-2V6C22,4.895,21.105,4,20,4z M20,8.236l-8,4.882 L4,8.236V6h16V8.236z"></path></svg> <span class="wp-block-outermost-social-sharing-link-label screen-reader-text"> Email this Page </span> </a> </li> </ul> </div> </aside> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--sm gridible-hidden--md" style="height:24px" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--md gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:12px" aria-hidden="true"></div> </div> </header> <section class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-17 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)"> <p class="has-shade-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family wp-elements-cf6872159bac70342a65a5406c8a1486" style="margin-right:-4px;font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:700">Published:</p> <div style="font-size:14px;font-style:normal;font-weight:700;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-92a99dc9533921d662b740f740f7dbe3 wp-block-post-date has-text-color has-shade-1-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family"><time datetime="2024-11-21T07:00:00-06:00">November 21, 2024</time></div></div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--sm" style="height:8px" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="single-post-mobile-bg-img"></div> </div> <div class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow block-visibility-hide-large-screen"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--sm gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:32px" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-group has-background is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow" style="background-color:#f3f3f3;margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-right:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-left:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)"> <p class="has-text-align-center has-shade-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-golf-font-size wp-elements-398065caccd2e998f33db55a72b9615d" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:uppercase">Advertising</p> <div class='htlad-medrec'></div> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)" aria-hidden="true"></div> </section> <section class="wp-block-group single-post-next-story is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow" style="border-top-color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-2);border-top-width:1px;border-bottom-color:var(--wp--preset--color--shade-2);border-bottom-width:1px;padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50)"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-container gridible-row gridible-row--flex gridible-row__all-start gridible-row__md-end gridible-row__lg-end gridible-row__all-standard gridible-row__md-standard gridible-row__lg-standard"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-6 gridible-col__lg-6"><div class="post-navigation-link-previous wp-elements-920742f95476f405cb5dd31efefced7a wp-block-post-navigation-link has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-delta-font-size has-rocky-compressed-font-family"><a href="https://theonion.com/spirit-airlines-files-for-bankruptcy/" rel="prev">Spirit Airlines Files For Bankruptcy</a></div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--md gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:32px" aria-hidden="true"></div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-6 gridible-col__lg-6"><div class="post-navigation-link-previous has-text-align-right single-post-next-story__story-link wp-elements-3fbbd4b33d15e100d585de4f08173a73 wp-block-post-navigation-link has-text-color has-primary-1-color has-echo-font-size has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family"><a href="https://theonion.com/spirit-airlines-files-for-bankruptcy/" rel="prev"><strong>Continued on next page</strong></a></div></div> </div> </section> <section class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-mbm-post-terms-conditional-container is-layout-flow wp-block-mbm-post-terms-conditional-container-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer" style="height:32px" aria-hidden="true"></div> <p class="has-primary-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-echo-font-size wp-elements-f820d62d86891df3d7265c9d671a8ff9" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);font-style:normal;font-weight:700">Explore Tags</p> <div style="font-style:normal;font-weight:600;text-transform:none" class="taxonomy-post_tag wp-block-post-terms has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family"><a href="https://theonion.com/tag/dnc/" rel="tag">DNC</a><span class="wp-block-post-terms__separator"> </span><a href="https://theonion.com/tag/news-in-photos/" rel="tag">News In Photos</a><span class="wp-block-post-terms__separator"> </span><a href="https://theonion.com/tag/vol-60-issue-47/" rel="tag">Vol 60: Issue 47</a></div> </div> </section> <section class="wp-block-group single-post-related-content is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--sm" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--60)" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--md gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50)" aria-hidden="true"></div> <p class="has-primary-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-echo-font-size wp-elements-370bfd51d4b8fb36e9beca22afcddfb4" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);font-style:normal;font-weight:700">Related Coverage</p> <div class="wp-block-query is-layout-flow wp-block-query-is-layout-flow"><ul class="wp-block-post-template is-layout-flow wp-block-post-template-is-layout-flow"><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675109 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-politics tag-vol-60-issue-47 featured-post-secondary-post"> <h2 style="padding-bottom:0;padding-top:0;margin-bottom:0px;" class="wp-block-post-title has-delta-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/nancy-mace-introduces-bill-that-would-ban-trans-colleagues-from-congressional-gymnastics-team/" target="_self" >Nancy Mace Introduces Bill That Would Ban Trans Colleagues From Congressional Gymnastics Team</a></h2> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background"/> </li><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675082 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-politics tag-explainer tag-vol-60-issue-47"> <h2 style="padding-bottom:0;padding-top:0;margin-bottom:0px;" class="wp-block-post-title has-delta-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/political-profile-matt-gaetz/" target="_self" >Political Profile: Matt Gaetz</a></h2> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background"/> </li><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675114 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-politics tag-donald-trump tag-vol-60-issue-47 featured-post-primary-post"> <h2 style="padding-bottom:0;padding-top:0;margin-bottom:0px;" class="wp-block-post-title has-delta-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/trump-admits-entire-political-career-has-been-wwe-storyline-to-set-up-match-with-cody-rhodes/" target="_self" >Trump Admits Entire Political Career Has Been WWE Storyline To Set Up Match With Cody Rhodes</a></h2> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background"/> </li></ul></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background is-style-double block-visibility-hide-large-screen block-visibility-hide-medium-screen" style="margin-bottom:0px"/> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--md gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:32px" aria-hidden="true"></div> </section> </article> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-4 gridible-col__lg-3 gridible-offset__lg-1"><div class="has-full-height wp-block-template-part"> <aside class="wp-block-group has-full-height is-vertical is-content-justification-stretch is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-33 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-group has-full-height is-vertical is-content-justification-stretch is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-31 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-group has-background is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow block-visibility-hide-medium-screen" style="background-color:#f3f3f3;margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-right:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);padding-left:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)"> <p class="has-text-align-center has-shade-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-golf-font-size wp-elements-398065caccd2e998f33db55a72b9615d" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:uppercase">Advertising</p> <div class='htlad-medrec'></div> </div> <div class="wp-block-group single-post-rail__post-list is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow block-visibility-hide-small-screen" style="margin-bottom:0"> <div class="wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-27 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="64" height="52" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/trending-news-icon.png" alt="trending news icon" class="wp-image-681" style="width:32px"/></figure> <p class="has-primary-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-echo-font-size wp-elements-b1f7f5562b36fc95300da50b2bf47aef" style="font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:none">Trending News</p> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer" style="height:16px" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-query is-layout-flow wp-block-query-is-layout-flow"><ul class="wp-block-post-template is-layout-flow wp-block-post-template-is-layout-flow"><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675009 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-local tag-news-in-photos tag-vol-60-issue-47 featured-post-trending"> <figure style="aspect-ratio:16/9; margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);" class="wp-block-post-featured-image"><a href="https://theonion.com/announcement-of-fourth-child-contains-conspicuous-lack-of-exclamation-points/" target="_self" ><img width="1024" height="776" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Announcement_Of_SB_PH-S.jpg?w=1024" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="Announcement Of Fourth Child Contains Conspicuous Lack Of Exclamation Points" style="width:100%;height:100%;object-fit:cover;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Announcement_Of_SB_PH-S.jpg 1484w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Announcement_Of_SB_PH-S.jpg?resize=300,227 300w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Announcement_Of_SB_PH-S.jpg?resize=768,582 768w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Announcement_Of_SB_PH-S.jpg?resize=1024,776 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a></figure> <div style="text-transform:none;padding-top:0;padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)" class="taxonomy-category wp-block-post-terms has-foxtrot-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/local/" rel="tag">Local</a></div> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-ebb0f7e05e6f58e9a930fdd12728be7a wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-delta-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/announcement-of-fourth-child-contains-conspicuous-lack-of-exclamation-points/" target="_self" >Announcement Of Fourth Child Contains Conspicuous Lack Of Exclamation Points</a></h2> </li><li class="wp-block-post post-1851674980 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-politics tag-donald-trump tag-elon-musk tag-vol-60-issue-47 featured-post-trending"> <figure style="aspect-ratio:16/9; margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30);" class="wp-block-post-featured-image"><a href="https://theonion.com/trump-locks-bathroom-door-so-elon-musk-cant-follow-him-in/" target="_self" ><img width="1024" height="576" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Locks_Bathroom_NIB_IHA_GR.webp?w=1024" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="Trump Locks Bathroom Door So Elon Musk Can’t Follow Him In" style="width:100%;height:100%;object-fit:cover;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Locks_Bathroom_NIB_IHA_GR.webp 2000w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Locks_Bathroom_NIB_IHA_GR.webp?resize=300,169 300w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Locks_Bathroom_NIB_IHA_GR.webp?resize=768,432 768w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Locks_Bathroom_NIB_IHA_GR.webp?resize=1024,576 1024w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Locks_Bathroom_NIB_IHA_GR.webp?resize=1536,864 1536w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a></figure> <div style="text-transform:none;padding-top:0;padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--30)" class="taxonomy-category wp-block-post-terms has-foxtrot-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/politics/" rel="tag">Politics</a></div> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-ebb0f7e05e6f58e9a930fdd12728be7a wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-delta-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/trump-locks-bathroom-door-so-elon-musk-cant-follow-him-in/" target="_self" >Trump Locks Bathroom Door So Elon Musk Can’t Follow Him In</a></h2> </li></ul></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background is-style-double"/> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer wp-container-content-5 block-visibility-hide-small-screen" style="margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;height:0px" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-group single-post-rail__post-list is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow wp-container-7 is-position-sticky" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50)"> <div class="wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-29 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full is-resized"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="64" height="52" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/recent-news-label-img.png" alt="" class="wp-image-737" style="width:32px"/></figure> <p class="has-primary-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-echo-font-size wp-elements-783241acb5cff81973e8a0d04fe63ee3" style="font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:none">Recent News</p> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer" style="height:16px" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-query is-layout-flow wp-block-query-is-layout-flow"><ul class="wp-block-post-template is-layout-flow wp-block-post-template-is-layout-flow"><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675109 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-politics tag-vol-60-issue-47 featured-post-secondary-post"> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0px;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-b8eea333f8f8e654207ae0ab9896632f wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-echo-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/nancy-mace-introduces-bill-that-would-ban-trans-colleagues-from-congressional-gymnastics-team/" target="_self" >Nancy Mace Introduces Bill That Would Ban Trans Colleagues From Congressional Gymnastics Team</a></h2> </li><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675082 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-politics tag-explainer tag-vol-60-issue-47"> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0px;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-b8eea333f8f8e654207ae0ab9896632f wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-echo-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/political-profile-matt-gaetz/" target="_self" >Political Profile: Matt Gaetz</a></h2> </li><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675114 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-politics tag-donald-trump tag-vol-60-issue-47 featured-post-primary-post"> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0px;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-b8eea333f8f8e654207ae0ab9896632f wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-echo-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/trump-admits-entire-political-career-has-been-wwe-storyline-to-set-up-match-with-cody-rhodes/" target="_self" >Trump Admits Entire Political Career Has Been WWE Storyline To Set Up Match With Cody Rhodes</a></h2> </li><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675106 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-local tag-vol-60-issue-47"> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0px;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-b8eea333f8f8e654207ae0ab9896632f wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-echo-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/dying-relative-sent-quick-how-you-holding-up-text/" target="_self" >Dying Relative Sent Quick ‘How You Holding Up?’ Text</a></h2> </li><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675126 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-american-voices tag-joe-biden tag-vol-60-issue-47"> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0px;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-b8eea333f8f8e654207ae0ab9896632f wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-echo-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/biden-supplies-ukraine-with-anti-personnel-landmines/" target="_self" >Biden Supplies Ukraine With Anti-Personnel Landmines</a></h2> </li></ul></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background is-style-double" style="margin-bottom:0px"/> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-group alignwide has-global-padding is-layout-constrained wp-container-core-group-is-layout-32 wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained has-background" style="padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);padding-right:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);padding-left:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);background-image:url('https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/dingbat-background-pat.png');background-position:50% 0;background-size:40%;"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-container alignwide gridible-row gridible-row--flex gridible-row__all-start gridible-row__md-start gridible-row__lg-start gridible-row__all-standard gridible-row__md-standard gridible-row__lg-standard"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-12 gridible-col__lg-12"> <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-text-align-center has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-condensed-font-family has-charlie-font-size wp-elements-ee6dbbd1f3c41331e237299d11c08efd" id="h-join-the-millions-of-others-who-entered-in-their-credit-card-number">Join The Millions Of Others Who Entered In Their Credit Card Number.</h2> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-buttons is-content-justification-center is-layout-flex wp-container-core-buttons-is-layout-2 wp-block-buttons-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-button has-custom-font-size is-style-outline has-foxtrot-font-size is-style-outline--8" id="click-link-post-sidebar-membership"><a class="wp-block-button__link has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-border-color wp-element-button" href="https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001IEs7JAAT" style="border-color:#FFFFFF;border-width:1px;border-radius:0px" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Become An Onion Member Today</a></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </aside> </div></div> </div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background is-style-double" style="margin-top:16px;margin-bottom:0px"/> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer" style="height:32px" aria-hidden="true"></div> <section class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-group is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-34 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"> <figure class="wp-block-image size-full is-resized"><img width="64" height="52" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/read-more-label-img.png" alt="" class="wp-image-739" style="width:32px"/></figure> <p class="has-primary-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-echo-font-size wp-elements-685b5586ddde8c47ed14ba50990cbd7a" style="font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:none">Read More</p> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40)" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-query has-no-border-lg is-layout-flow wp-block-query-is-layout-flow"><ul class="columns-4 wp-block-post-template is-layout-grid wp-container-core-post-template-is-layout-4 wp-block-post-template-is-layout-grid"><li class="wp-block-post post-1851674929 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-local tag-food tag-news-in-brief tag-vol-60-issue-47 featured-post-secondary-post"> <figure style="aspect-ratio:3/2; margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);" class="wp-block-post-featured-image"><a href="https://theonion.com/every-movement-in-mans-burrito-eating-technique-informed-by-past-burrito-tragedies/" target="_self" ><img width="1024" height="576" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Every_Movement_NIB_IHA_GR.webp?w=1024" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="Every Movement In Man’s Burrito-Eating Technique Informed By Past Burrito Tragedies" style="width:100%;height:100%;object-fit:cover;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Every_Movement_NIB_IHA_GR.webp 2000w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Every_Movement_NIB_IHA_GR.webp?resize=300,169 300w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Every_Movement_NIB_IHA_GR.webp?resize=768,432 768w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Every_Movement_NIB_IHA_GR.webp?resize=1024,576 1024w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Every_Movement_NIB_IHA_GR.webp?resize=1536,864 1536w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a></figure> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0px;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-1e74ae80277aba5f6a4a482c6bd1af76 wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-echo-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/every-movement-in-mans-burrito-eating-technique-informed-by-past-burrito-tragedies/" target="_self" >Every Movement In Man’s Burrito-Eating Technique Informed By Past Burrito Tragedies</a></h2> </li><li class="wp-block-post post-1851674958 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-politics tag-elon-musk tag-trump-boys tag-vol-60-issue-47 featured-post-primary-post"> <figure style="aspect-ratio:3/2; margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);" class="wp-block-post-featured-image"><a href="https://theonion.com/trump-boys-get-weird-feeling-after-uncle-elon-shows-them-busty-anime-cat-girl/" target="_self" ><img width="1024" height="576" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Boys_Uncle_Elon_NIB_IHA-GR.webp?w=1024" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="Trump Boys Get Weird Feeling After Uncle Elon Shows Them Busty Anime Cat Girl" style="width:100%;height:100%;object-fit:cover;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Boys_Uncle_Elon_NIB_IHA-GR.webp 2000w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Boys_Uncle_Elon_NIB_IHA-GR.webp?resize=300,169 300w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Boys_Uncle_Elon_NIB_IHA-GR.webp?resize=768,432 768w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Boys_Uncle_Elon_NIB_IHA-GR.webp?resize=1024,576 1024w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Trump_Boys_Uncle_Elon_NIB_IHA-GR.webp?resize=1536,864 1536w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a></figure> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0px;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-1e74ae80277aba5f6a4a482c6bd1af76 wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-echo-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/trump-boys-get-weird-feeling-after-uncle-elon-shows-them-busty-anime-cat-girl/" target="_self" >Trump Boys Get Weird Feeling After Uncle Elon Shows Them Busty Anime Cat Girl</a></h2> </li><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675066 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-local tag-news-in-photos tag-vol-60-issue-47"> <figure style="aspect-ratio:3/2; margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);" class="wp-block-post-featured-image"><a href="https://theonion.com/mocktail-roofied/" target="_self" ><img width="1024" height="776" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Mocktail_Roofied_SB_IHA_GR.jpg?w=1024" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="Mocktail Roofied" style="width:100%;height:100%;object-fit:cover;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Mocktail_Roofied_SB_IHA_GR.jpg 7261w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Mocktail_Roofied_SB_IHA_GR.jpg?resize=300,227 300w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Mocktail_Roofied_SB_IHA_GR.jpg?resize=768,582 768w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Mocktail_Roofied_SB_IHA_GR.jpg?resize=1024,776 1024w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Mocktail_Roofied_SB_IHA_GR.jpg?resize=1536,1164 1536w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Mocktail_Roofied_SB_IHA_GR.jpg?resize=2048,1552 2048w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a></figure> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0px;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-1e74ae80277aba5f6a4a482c6bd1af76 wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-echo-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/mocktail-roofied/" target="_self" >Mocktail Roofied</a></h2> </li><li class="wp-block-post post-1851675076 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-entertainment tag-explainer tag-vol-60-issue-47"> <figure style="aspect-ratio:3/2; margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);" class="wp-block-post-featured-image"><a href="https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-ariana-grande-and-cynthia-erivo/" target="_self" ><img width="1024" height="576" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Grande_Erivo_INFO-G-PH.jpg?w=1024" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Ariana Grande And Cynthia Erivo" style="width:100%;height:100%;object-fit:cover;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Grande_Erivo_INFO-G-PH.jpg 2000w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Grande_Erivo_INFO-G-PH.jpg?resize=300,169 300w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Grande_Erivo_INFO-G-PH.jpg?resize=768,432 768w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Grande_Erivo_INFO-G-PH.jpg?resize=1024,576 1024w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Grande_Erivo_INFO-G-PH.jpg?resize=1536,864 1536w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a></figure> <h2 style="margin-bottom:0px;" class="has-link-color wp-elements-1e74ae80277aba5f6a4a482c6bd1af76 wp-block-post-title has-text-color has-primary-2-color has-echo-font-size"><a href="https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-ariana-grande-and-cynthia-erivo/" target="_self" >The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Ariana Grande And Cynthia Erivo</a></h2> </li></ul></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator has-text-color has-shade-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-shade-2-background-color has-background is-style-double"/> </section> </div> </main> <footer class="wp-block-template-part"> <div class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--sm" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--60)" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--md gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50)" aria-hidden="true"></div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-container alignfull has-global-padding onion-part-footer has-primary-2-background-color has-background is-layout-constrained wp-block-gridible-container-is-layout-constrained" style="padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50)"> <div class="wp-block-group alignwide onion-part-footer-top is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-container alignwide gridible-row gridible-row--flex gridible-row__all-start gridible-row__md-start gridible-row__lg-start gridible-row__all-standard gridible-row__md-standard gridible-row__lg-standard"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-12 gridible-col__lg-12"> <figure class="wp-block-image aligncenter size-large onion-part-footer-site-logo"><a href="/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" width="786" height="131" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/site-logo-white-2.svg" alt="" class="wp-image-174"/></a></figure> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50)" aria-hidden="true"></div> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-container alignwide gridible-row gridible-row--flex gridible-row__all-start gridible-row__md-normal gridible-row__lg-normal gridible-row__all-standard gridible-row__md-standard gridible-row__lg-standard"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-12 gridible-col__lg-5 onion-part-footer-top__left"> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-footer-horoscope is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <p class="has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-foxtrot-font-size wp-elements-789133b74dd660dfbc43456b0abce875" style="font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:uppercase">Your Horoscope — Today’s Birthday</p> <div class="wp-block-query is-layout-flow wp-block-query-is-layout-flow"><ul class="wp-block-post-template is-layout-flow wp-block-post-template-is-layout-flow"><li class="wp-block-post post-1500 theonion_horoscope type-theonion_horoscope status-publish has-post-thumbnail hentry"> <div class="wp-block-group is-content-justification-left is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-38 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"><figure style="aspect-ratio:1;height:80px;" class="wp-block-post-featured-image wp-duotone-ffffff-ffffff-9"><img width="240" height="240" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/sagittarius-1.png?w=240" class="attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image" alt="" style="width:100%;height:100%;object-fit:contain;" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/sagittarius-1.png 240w, https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/sagittarius-1.png?resize=150,150 150w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px" /></figure> <div class="wp-elements-48bd461785ec17e5e39715680292c720 wp-block-theonion-horoscope-summary has-text-color has-shade-3-color"> <p class="wp-block-theonion-horoscope-summary__title">Sagittarius</p> <p class="wp-block-theonion-horoscope-summary__date">(November 22 to December 21): </p> <p class="wp-block-theonion-horoscope-summary__excerpt">You’re going out in that? No, you look great. Very bold.</p> </div> </div> <p class="has-text-align-right has-secondary-1-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-golf-font-size wp-elements-5cd45e28eb22fbd3266e2f0961f95f25" style="margin-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);margin-bottom:0px;font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:uppercase"><a href="/horoscopes">Read Your Horoscope</a></p> </li></ul></div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer" style="height:32px" aria-hidden="true"></div> <div class="wp-block-group is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <p class="has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-foxtrot-font-size" style="font-style:normal;font-weight:700;text-transform:uppercase">Subscribe for all the latest Headlines</p> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-footer-newsletter is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"><script type="text/javascript"></script> <div class='gf_browser_ie gf_browser_ie7 gform_wrapper gform-theme gform-theme--foundation gform-theme--framework gform-theme--orbital' data-form-theme='orbital' data-form-index='0' id='gform_wrapper_1' ><style>#gform_wrapper_1[data-form-index="0"].gform-theme,[data-parent-form="1_0"]{--gf-color-primary: #204ce5;--gf-color-primary-rgb: 32, 76, 229;--gf-color-primary-contrast: #fff;--gf-color-primary-contrast-rgb: 255, 255, 255;--gf-color-primary-darker: #001AB3;--gf-color-primary-lighter: #527EFF;--gf-color-secondary: #fff;--gf-color-secondary-rgb: 255, 255, 255;--gf-color-secondary-contrast: #112337;--gf-color-secondary-contrast-rgb: 17, 35, 55;--gf-color-secondary-darker: #F5F5F5;--gf-color-secondary-lighter: #FFFFFF;--gf-color-out-ctrl-light: rgba(17, 35, 55, 0.1);--gf-color-out-ctrl-light-rgb: 17, 35, 55;--gf-color-out-ctrl-light-darker: rgba(104, 110, 119, 0.35);--gf-color-out-ctrl-light-lighter: #F5F5F5;--gf-color-out-ctrl-dark: #585e6a;--gf-color-out-ctrl-dark-rgb: 88, 94, 106;--gf-color-out-ctrl-dark-darker: #112337;--gf-color-out-ctrl-dark-lighter: rgba(17, 35, 55, 0.65);--gf-color-in-ctrl: #fff;--gf-color-in-ctrl-rgb: 255, 255, 255;--gf-color-in-ctrl-contrast: #112337;--gf-color-in-ctrl-contrast-rgb: 17, 35, 55;--gf-color-in-ctrl-darker: #F5F5F5;--gf-color-in-ctrl-lighter: #FFFFFF;--gf-color-in-ctrl-primary: #204ce5;--gf-color-in-ctrl-primary-rgb: 32, 76, 229;--gf-color-in-ctrl-primary-contrast: #fff;--gf-color-in-ctrl-primary-contrast-rgb: 255, 255, 255;--gf-color-in-ctrl-primary-darker: #001AB3;--gf-color-in-ctrl-primary-lighter: #527EFF;--gf-color-in-ctrl-light: rgba(17, 35, 55, 0.1);--gf-color-in-ctrl-light-rgb: 17, 35, 55;--gf-color-in-ctrl-light-darker: rgba(104, 110, 119, 0.35);--gf-color-in-ctrl-light-lighter: #F5F5F5;--gf-color-in-ctrl-dark: #585e6a;--gf-color-in-ctrl-dark-rgb: 88, 94, 106;--gf-color-in-ctrl-dark-darker: #112337;--gf-color-in-ctrl-dark-lighter: rgba(17, 35, 55, 0.65);--gf-radius: 3px;--gf-font-size-secondary: 14px;--gf-font-size-tertiary: 13px;--gf-icon-ctrl-number: url("data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg width='8' height='14' viewBox='0 0 8 14' fill='none' xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%3E%3Cpath fill-rule='evenodd' clip-rule='evenodd' d='M4 0C4.26522 5.96046e-08 4.51957 0.105357 4.70711 0.292893L7.70711 3.29289C8.09763 3.68342 8.09763 4.31658 7.70711 4.70711C7.31658 5.09763 6.68342 5.09763 6.29289 4.70711L4 2.41421L1.70711 4.70711C1.31658 5.09763 0.683417 5.09763 0.292893 4.70711C-0.0976311 4.31658 -0.097631 3.68342 0.292893 3.29289L3.29289 0.292893C3.48043 0.105357 3.73478 0 4 0ZM0.292893 9.29289C0.683417 8.90237 1.31658 8.90237 1.70711 9.29289L4 11.5858L6.29289 9.29289C6.68342 8.90237 7.31658 8.90237 7.70711 9.29289C8.09763 9.68342 8.09763 10.3166 7.70711 10.7071L4.70711 13.7071C4.31658 14.0976 3.68342 14.0976 3.29289 13.7071L0.292893 10.7071C-0.0976311 10.3166 -0.0976311 9.68342 0.292893 9.29289Z' fill='rgba(17, 35, 55, 0.65)'/%3E%3C/svg%3E");--gf-icon-ctrl-select: url("data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg width='10' height='6' viewBox='0 0 10 6' fill='none' xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg'%3E%3Cpath fill-rule='evenodd' clip-rule='evenodd' d='M0.292893 0.292893C0.683417 -0.097631 1.31658 -0.097631 1.70711 0.292893L5 3.58579L8.29289 0.292893C8.68342 -0.0976311 9.31658 -0.0976311 9.70711 0.292893C10.0976 0.683417 10.0976 1.31658 9.70711 1.70711L5.70711 5.70711C5.31658 6.09763 4.68342 6.09763 4.29289 5.70711L0.292893 1.70711C-0.0976311 1.31658 -0.0976311 0.683418 0.292893 0.292893Z' fill='rgba(17, 35, 55, 0.65)'/%3E%3C/svg%3E");--gf-icon-ctrl-search: url("data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg version='1.1' xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' width='640' height='640'%3E%3Cpath d='M256 128c-70.692 0-128 57.308-128 128 0 70.691 57.308 128 128 128 70.691 0 128-57.309 128-128 0-70.692-57.309-128-128-128zM64 256c0-106.039 85.961-192 192-192s192 85.961 192 192c0 41.466-13.146 79.863-35.498 111.248l154.125 154.125c12.496 12.496 12.496 32.758 0 45.254s-32.758 12.496-45.254 0L367.248 412.502C335.862 434.854 297.467 448 256 448c-106.039 0-192-85.962-192-192z' fill='rgba(17, 35, 55, 0.65)'/%3E%3C/svg%3E");--gf-label-space-y-secondary: var(--gf-label-space-y-md-secondary);--gf-ctrl-border-color: #686e77;--gf-ctrl-size: var(--gf-ctrl-size-md);--gf-ctrl-label-color-primary: #112337;--gf-ctrl-label-color-secondary: #112337;--gf-ctrl-choice-size: var(--gf-ctrl-choice-size-md);--gf-ctrl-checkbox-check-size: var(--gf-ctrl-checkbox-check-size-md);--gf-ctrl-radio-check-size: var(--gf-ctrl-radio-check-size-md);--gf-ctrl-btn-font-size: var(--gf-ctrl-btn-font-size-md);--gf-ctrl-btn-padding-x: var(--gf-ctrl-btn-padding-x-md);--gf-ctrl-btn-size: var(--gf-ctrl-btn-size-md);--gf-ctrl-btn-border-color-secondary: #686e77;--gf-ctrl-file-btn-bg-color-hover: #EBEBEB;--gf-field-pg-steps-number-color: rgba(17, 35, 55, 0.8);}</style> <div class='gform_heading'> <p class='gform_required_legend'>"<span class="gfield_required gfield_required_asterisk">*</span>" indicates required fields</p> </div><form method='post' enctype='multipart/form-data' id='gform_1' action='/dnc-chair-its-not-a-waste-of-money-if-it-makes-you-happy/' data-formid='1' novalidate> <div class='gform-body gform_body'><div id='gform_fields_1' class='gform_fields top_label form_sublabel_below description_below validation_below'><div id="field_1_1" class="gfield gfield--type-email gfield--input-type-email gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible" data-js-reload="field_1_1" ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_1_1'>Subscribe For All the Latest Headlines<span class="gfield_required"><span class="gfield_required gfield_required_asterisk">*</span></span></label><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_email'> <input name='input_1' id='input_1_1' type='email' value='' class='large' placeholder='Enter Your Email Address' aria-required="true" aria-invalid="false" autocomplete="email"/> </div></div></div></div> <div class='gform_footer top_label'> <input type='submit' id='gform_submit_button_1' class='gform_button button' value='Submit' onclick='if(window["gf_submitting_1"]){return false;} if( !jQuery("#gform_1")[0].checkValidity || jQuery("#gform_1")[0].checkValidity()){window["gf_submitting_1"]=true;} ' onkeypress='if( event.keyCode == 13 ){ if(window["gf_submitting_1"]){return false;} if( !jQuery("#gform_1")[0].checkValidity || jQuery("#gform_1")[0].checkValidity()){window["gf_submitting_1"]=true;} jQuery("#gform_1").trigger("submit",[true]); }' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='is_submit_1' value='1' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_submit' value='1' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_unique_id' value='' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='state_1' value='WyJbXSIsIjgzNDMzYTZkODdkZDNkNDY2MDBhN2JlZDc1MDhhYjZlIl0=' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_target_page_number_1' id='gform_target_page_number_1' value='0' /> <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_source_page_number_1' id='gform_source_page_number_1' value='1' /> <input type='hidden' name='gform_field_values' value='' /> </div> <p style="display: none !important;" class="akismet-fields-container" data-prefix="ak_"><label>Δ<textarea name="ak_hp_textarea" cols="45" rows="8" maxlength="100"></textarea></label><input type="hidden" id="ak_js_1" name="ak_js" value="122"/><script>document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() );</script></p></form> </div><script> gform.initializeOnLoaded( function() {gformInitSpinner( 1, 'https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/gravityforms/images/spinner.svg', false );jQuery('#gform_ajax_frame_1').on('load',function(){var contents = jQuery(this).contents().find('*').html();var is_postback = contents.indexOf('GF_AJAX_POSTBACK') >= 0;if(!is_postback){return;}var form_content = jQuery(this).contents().find('#gform_wrapper_1');var is_confirmation = jQuery(this).contents().find('#gform_confirmation_wrapper_1').length > 0;var is_redirect = contents.indexOf('gformRedirect(){') >= 0;var is_form = form_content.length > 0 && ! is_redirect && ! is_confirmation;var mt = parseInt(jQuery('html').css('margin-top'), 10) + parseInt(jQuery('body').css('margin-top'), 10) + 100;if(is_form){jQuery('#gform_wrapper_1').html(form_content.html());if(form_content.hasClass('gform_validation_error')){jQuery('#gform_wrapper_1').addClass('gform_validation_error');} else {jQuery('#gform_wrapper_1').removeClass('gform_validation_error');}setTimeout( function() { /* delay the scroll by 50 milliseconds to fix a bug in chrome */ }, 50 );if(window['gformInitDatepicker']) {gformInitDatepicker();}if(window['gformInitPriceFields']) {gformInitPriceFields();}var current_page = jQuery('#gform_source_page_number_1').val();gformInitSpinner( 1, 'https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/gravityforms/images/spinner.svg', false );jQuery(document).trigger('gform_page_loaded', [1, current_page]);window['gf_submitting_1'] = false;}else if(!is_redirect){var confirmation_content = jQuery(this).contents().find('.GF_AJAX_POSTBACK').html();if(!confirmation_content){confirmation_content = contents;}jQuery('#gform_wrapper_1').replaceWith(confirmation_content);jQuery(document).trigger('gform_confirmation_loaded', [1]);window['gf_submitting_1'] = false;wp.a11y.speak(jQuery('#gform_confirmation_message_1').text());}else{jQuery('#gform_1').append(contents);if(window['gformRedirect']) {gformRedirect();}}jQuery(document).trigger("gform_pre_post_render", [{ formId: "1", currentPage: "current_page", abort: function() { this.preventDefault(); } }]); if (event && event.defaultPrevented) { return; } const gformWrapperDiv = document.getElementById( "gform_wrapper_1" ); if ( gformWrapperDiv ) { const visibilitySpan = document.createElement( "span" ); visibilitySpan.id = "gform_visibility_test_1"; gformWrapperDiv.insertAdjacentElement( "afterend", visibilitySpan ); } const visibilityTestDiv = document.getElementById( "gform_visibility_test_1" ); let postRenderFired = false; function triggerPostRender() { if ( postRenderFired ) { return; } postRenderFired = true; jQuery( document ).trigger( 'gform_post_render', [1, current_page] ); gform.utils.trigger( { event: 'gform/postRender', native: false, data: { formId: 1, currentPage: current_page } } ); if ( visibilityTestDiv ) { visibilityTestDiv.parentNode.removeChild( visibilityTestDiv ); } } function debounce( func, wait, immediate ) { var timeout; return function() { var context = this, args = arguments; var later = function() { timeout = null; if ( !immediate ) func.apply( context, args ); }; var callNow = immediate && !timeout; clearTimeout( timeout ); timeout = setTimeout( later, wait ); if ( callNow ) func.apply( context, args ); }; } const debouncedTriggerPostRender = debounce( function() { triggerPostRender(); }, 200 ); if ( visibilityTestDiv && visibilityTestDiv.offsetParent === null ) { const observer = new MutationObserver( ( mutations ) => { mutations.forEach( ( mutation ) => { if ( mutation.type === 'attributes' && visibilityTestDiv.offsetParent !== null ) { debouncedTriggerPostRender(); observer.disconnect(); } }); }); observer.observe( document.body, { attributes: true, childList: false, subtree: true, attributeFilter: [ 'style', 'class' ], }); } else { triggerPostRender(); } } );} ); </script> <p class="has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-golf-font-size wp-elements-d79e32ef1931b01fe89a6e11f43ac560" style="margin-bottom:0px;line-height:1"><br>Please review our <a href="https://theonion.com/privacy-policy/" data-type="page" data-id="3">Privacy Policy</a> for detailed information on how we handle your newsletter data.</p> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50)" aria-hidden="true"></div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-12 gridible-col__lg-4 gridible-offset__lg-3"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-container gridible-row gridible-row--flex gridible-row__all-start gridible-row__md-start gridible-row__lg-start gridible-row__all-standard gridible-row__md-standard gridible-row__lg-standard"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-12 gridible-col__lg-6"> <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-rocky-compressed-font-family has-charlie-font-size wp-elements-a68a49898305eef3fc958a7a9f89a675" id="h-sections" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);font-style:normal;font-weight:800">Sections</h2> <nav class="has-text-color has-shade-3-color has-echo-font-size is-vertical no-wrap wp-block-navigation has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-navigation-is-layout-4 wp-block-navigation-is-layout-flex" aria-label="Footer Navigation - Primary"><ul class="wp-block-navigation__container has-text-color has-shade-3-color has-echo-font-size is-vertical no-wrap wp-block-navigation has-echo-font-size has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family"><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/latest/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">The Latest</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/news"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">News</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/local"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Local</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/politics"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Politics</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/entertainment"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Entertainment</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/sports"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Sports</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/opinion"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Opinion</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/video/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Video</span></a></li></ul></nav> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50)" aria-hidden="true"></div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-12 gridible-col__lg-6"> <h2 class="wp-block-heading has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-rocky-compressed-font-family has-charlie-font-size wp-elements-661655b905a975594106a0854d32e64a" id="h-explore" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--40);font-style:normal;font-weight:800">Explore</h2> <nav class="has-text-color has-shade-3-color has-echo-font-size is-vertical wp-block-navigation has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family is-layout-flex wp-container-core-navigation-is-layout-5 wp-block-navigation-is-layout-flex" aria-label="Footer Navigation - Secondary"><ul class="wp-block-navigation__container has-text-color has-shade-3-color has-echo-font-size is-vertical wp-block-navigation has-echo-font-size has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family"><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="/?s"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Search</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/about-us/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">About Us</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001IDM3xAAH" target="_blank" ><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Become a Member</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://store.theonion.com/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">The Onion Store</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://theonion.com/front-page-archive/"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Front Page Archive</span></a></li><li class="has-echo-font-size wp-block-navigation-item wp-block-navigation-link"><a class="wp-block-navigation-item__content" href="https://jobs.gusto.com/boards/the-onion-ee0d7faf-8f14-40b8-b195-c36b17d68250"><span class="wp-block-navigation-item__label">Jobs</span></a></li></ul></nav></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer" style="height:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50)" aria-hidden="true"></div> <hr class="wp-block-separator alignfull has-text-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-background" style="margin-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--50);background-color:#ffffff26;color:#ffffff26"/> <div class="wp-block-group alignwide onion-part-footer-bottom is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-container gridible-row gridible-row--flex gridible-row__all-start gridible-row__md-center gridible-row__lg-center gridible-row__all-standard gridible-row__md-standard gridible-row__lg-standard"> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-6 gridible-col__lg-6"> <div class="wp-block-group onion-part-footer-copyright is-layout-flex wp-block-group-is-layout-flex"><p class="has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-golf-font-size wp-elements-cae5ccc5c7c815c73c630bc3620c1ae1">© 2024</p> <p class="has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-golf-font-size wp-elements-5e14cd61ce73edd517b5a6a5996b9f7d" style="margin-left:-4px">The Onion</p> <p class="has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-golf-font-size wp-elements-092361cf8244bb1c0db31539d791ea00"><a href="https://theonion.com/privacy-policy/" data-type="page" data-id="3">Privacy Policy</a></p> <p class="has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-golf-font-size wp-elements-4a4ec1ae3d4ff26a1897d7d85cb1fd03"><a href="https://theonion.com/cookie-policy/" data-type="page" data-id="1851597159">Cookie Policy</a></p> <p class="has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-golf-font-size wp-elements-243612422e37c1b1b9587d0431f20190"><a href="https://theonion.com/terms-of-use/" data-type="page" data-id="1851597162">Terms of Use</a></p> <p class="has-shade-3-color has-text-color has-link-color has-tablet-gothic-semi-condensed-font-family has-golf-font-size wp-elements-450b5720b451c4ba5b2295f0df19e931"><a href="https://theonion.com/print-membership-terms/" data-type="page" data-id="1851672401">Print Membership Terms</a></p> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-responsive-spacer gridible-hidden--md gridible-hidden--lg" style="height:32px" aria-hidden="true"></div> </div> <div class="wp-block-gridible-grid-column gridible-col gridible-col__12 gridible-col__md-6 gridible-col__lg-6"> <ul class="wp-block-social-links has-small-icon-size has-icon-color has-icon-background-color is-style-square is-content-justification-right is-nowrap is-layout-flex wp-container-core-social-links-is-layout-3 wp-block-social-links-is-layout-flex" style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px"><li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-instagram has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://instagram.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M12,4.622c2.403,0,2.688,0.009,3.637,0.052c0.877,0.04,1.354,0.187,1.671,0.31c0.42,0.163,0.72,0.358,1.035,0.673 c0.315,0.315,0.51,0.615,0.673,1.035c0.123,0.317,0.27,0.794,0.31,1.671c0.043,0.949,0.052,1.234,0.052,3.637 s-0.009,2.688-0.052,3.637c-0.04,0.877-0.187,1.354-0.31,1.671c-0.163,0.42-0.358,0.72-0.673,1.035 c-0.315,0.315-0.615,0.51-1.035,0.673c-0.317,0.123-0.794,0.27-1.671,0.31c-0.949,0.043-1.233,0.052-3.637,0.052 s-2.688-0.009-3.637-0.052c-0.877-0.04-1.354-0.187-1.671-0.31c-0.42-0.163-0.72-0.358-1.035-0.673 c-0.315-0.315-0.51-0.615-0.673-1.035c-0.123-0.317-0.27-0.794-0.31-1.671C4.631,14.688,4.622,14.403,4.622,12 s0.009-2.688,0.052-3.637c0.04-0.877,0.187-1.354,0.31-1.671c0.163-0.42,0.358-0.72,0.673-1.035 c0.315-0.315,0.615-0.51,1.035-0.673c0.317-0.123,0.794-0.27,1.671-0.31C9.312,4.631,9.597,4.622,12,4.622 M12,3 C9.556,3,9.249,3.01,8.289,3.054C7.331,3.098,6.677,3.25,6.105,3.472C5.513,3.702,5.011,4.01,4.511,4.511 c-0.5,0.5-0.808,1.002-1.038,1.594C3.25,6.677,3.098,7.331,3.054,8.289C3.01,9.249,3,9.556,3,12c0,2.444,0.01,2.751,0.054,3.711 c0.044,0.958,0.196,1.612,0.418,2.185c0.23,0.592,0.538,1.094,1.038,1.594c0.5,0.5,1.002,0.808,1.594,1.038 c0.572,0.222,1.227,0.375,2.185,0.418C9.249,20.99,9.556,21,12,21s2.751-0.01,3.711-0.054c0.958-0.044,1.612-0.196,2.185-0.418 c0.592-0.23,1.094-0.538,1.594-1.038c0.5-0.5,0.808-1.002,1.038-1.594c0.222-0.572,0.375-1.227,0.418-2.185 C20.99,14.751,21,14.444,21,12s-0.01-2.751-0.054-3.711c-0.044-0.958-0.196-1.612-0.418-2.185c-0.23-0.592-0.538-1.094-1.038-1.594 c-0.5-0.5-1.002-0.808-1.594-1.038c-0.572-0.222-1.227-0.375-2.185-0.418C14.751,3.01,14.444,3,12,3L12,3z M12,7.378 c-2.552,0-4.622,2.069-4.622,4.622S9.448,16.622,12,16.622s4.622-2.069,4.622-4.622S14.552,7.378,12,7.378z M12,15 c-1.657,0-3-1.343-3-3s1.343-3,3-3s3,1.343,3,3S13.657,15,12,15z M16.804,6.116c-0.596,0-1.08,0.484-1.08,1.08 s0.484,1.08,1.08,1.08c0.596,0,1.08-0.484,1.08-1.08S17.401,6.116,16.804,6.116z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Instagram</span></a></li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-twitter has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M22.23,5.924c-0.736,0.326-1.527,0.547-2.357,0.646c0.847-0.508,1.498-1.312,1.804-2.27 c-0.793,0.47-1.671,0.812-2.606,0.996C18.324,4.498,17.257,4,16.077,4c-2.266,0-4.103,1.837-4.103,4.103 c0,0.322,0.036,0.635,0.106,0.935C8.67,8.867,5.647,7.234,3.623,4.751C3.27,5.357,3.067,6.062,3.067,6.814 c0,1.424,0.724,2.679,1.825,3.415c-0.673-0.021-1.305-0.206-1.859-0.513c0,0.017,0,0.034,0,0.052c0,1.988,1.414,3.647,3.292,4.023 c-0.344,0.094-0.707,0.144-1.081,0.144c-0.264,0-0.521-0.026-0.772-0.074c0.522,1.63,2.038,2.816,3.833,2.85 c-1.404,1.1-3.174,1.756-5.096,1.756c-0.331,0-0.658-0.019-0.979-0.057c1.816,1.164,3.973,1.843,6.29,1.843 c7.547,0,11.675-6.252,11.675-11.675c0-0.178-0.004-0.355-0.012-0.531C20.985,7.47,21.68,6.747,22.23,5.924z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Twitter</span></a></li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-facebook has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://facebook.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M12 2C6.5 2 2 6.5 2 12c0 5 3.7 9.1 8.4 9.9v-7H7.9V12h2.5V9.8c0-2.5 1.5-3.9 3.8-3.9 1.1 0 2.2.2 2.2.2v2.5h-1.3c-1.2 0-1.6.8-1.6 1.6V12h2.8l-.4 2.9h-2.3v7C18.3 21.1 22 17 22 12c0-5.5-4.5-10-10-10z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Facebook</span></a></li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-youtube has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://youtube.com/theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M21.8,8.001c0,0-0.195-1.378-0.795-1.985c-0.76-0.797-1.613-0.801-2.004-0.847c-2.799-0.202-6.997-0.202-6.997-0.202 h-0.009c0,0-4.198,0-6.997,0.202C4.608,5.216,3.756,5.22,2.995,6.016C2.395,6.623,2.2,8.001,2.2,8.001S2,9.62,2,11.238v1.517 c0,1.618,0.2,3.237,0.2,3.237s0.195,1.378,0.795,1.985c0.761,0.797,1.76,0.771,2.205,0.855c1.6,0.153,6.8,0.201,6.8,0.201 s4.203-0.006,7.001-0.209c0.391-0.047,1.243-0.051,2.004-0.847c0.6-0.607,0.795-1.985,0.795-1.985s0.2-1.618,0.2-3.237v-1.517 C22,9.62,21.8,8.001,21.8,8.001z M9.935,14.594l-0.001-5.62l5.404,2.82L9.935,14.594z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">YouTube</span></a></li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-tiktok has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@theonion" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 32 32" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M16.708 0.027c1.745-0.027 3.48-0.011 5.213-0.027 0.105 2.041 0.839 4.12 2.333 5.563 1.491 1.479 3.6 2.156 5.652 2.385v5.369c-1.923-0.063-3.855-0.463-5.6-1.291-0.76-0.344-1.468-0.787-2.161-1.24-0.009 3.896 0.016 7.787-0.025 11.667-0.104 1.864-0.719 3.719-1.803 5.255-1.744 2.557-4.771 4.224-7.88 4.276-1.907 0.109-3.812-0.411-5.437-1.369-2.693-1.588-4.588-4.495-4.864-7.615-0.032-0.667-0.043-1.333-0.016-1.984 0.24-2.537 1.495-4.964 3.443-6.615 2.208-1.923 5.301-2.839 8.197-2.297 0.027 1.975-0.052 3.948-0.052 5.923-1.323-0.428-2.869-0.308-4.025 0.495-0.844 0.547-1.485 1.385-1.819 2.333-0.276 0.676-0.197 1.427-0.181 2.145 0.317 2.188 2.421 4.027 4.667 3.828 1.489-0.016 2.916-0.88 3.692-2.145 0.251-0.443 0.532-0.896 0.547-1.417 0.131-2.385 0.079-4.76 0.095-7.145 0.011-5.375-0.016-10.735 0.025-16.093z" /></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">TikTok</span></a></li> <li style="color: #FFFFFF; background-color: #000000; " class="wp-social-link wp-social-link-bluesky has-shade-3-color has-primary-2-background-color wp-block-social-link"><a rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank" href="https://bsky.app/profile/theonion.com" class="wp-block-social-link-anchor"><svg width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" version="1.1" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M6.3,4.2c2.3,1.7,4.8,5.3,5.7,7.2.9-1.9,3.4-5.4,5.7-7.2,1.7-1.3,4.3-2.2,4.3.9s-.4,5.2-.6,5.9c-.7,2.6-3.3,3.2-5.6,2.8,4,.7,5.1,3,2.9,5.3-5,5.2-6.7-2.8-6.7-2.8,0,0-1.7,8-6.7,2.8-2.2-2.3-1.2-4.6,2.9-5.3-2.3.4-4.9-.3-5.6-2.8-.2-.7-.6-5.3-.6-5.9,0-3.1,2.7-2.1,4.3-.9h0Z"></path></svg><span class="wp-block-social-link-label screen-reader-text">Bluesky</span></a></li></ul> </div> </div> </div> </div> </footer></div> <svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 0 0" width="0" height="0" focusable="false" role="none" style="visibility: hidden; position: absolute; left: -9999px; overflow: hidden;" ><defs><filter id="wp-duotone-ffffff-ffffff-9"><feColorMatrix color-interpolation-filters="sRGB" type="matrix" values=" .299 .587 .114 0 0 .299 .587 .114 0 0 .299 .587 .114 0 0 .299 .587 .114 0 0 " /><feComponentTransfer color-interpolation-filters="sRGB" ><feFuncR type="table" tableValues="1 1" /><feFuncG type="table" tableValues="1 1" /><feFuncB type="table" tableValues="1 1" /><feFuncA type="table" tableValues="1 1" /></feComponentTransfer><feComposite in2="SourceGraphic" operator="in" /></filter></defs></svg> <div class="jetpack-instant-search__widget-area" style="display: none"> <div id="jetpack-search-filters-3" class="widget jetpack-filters widget_search"> <div id="jetpack-search-filters-3-wrapper" class="jetpack-instant-search-wrapper"> </div></div> </div> <script id="wp-block-template-skip-link-js-after"> ( function() { var skipLinkTarget = document.querySelector( 'main' ), sibling, skipLinkTargetID, skipLink; // Early exit if a skip-link target can't be located. if ( ! skipLinkTarget ) { return; } /* * Get the site wrapper. * The skip-link will be injected in the beginning of it. */ sibling = document.querySelector( '.wp-site-blocks' ); // Early exit if the root element was not found. if ( ! sibling ) { return; } // Get the skip-link target's ID, and generate one if it doesn't exist. skipLinkTargetID = skipLinkTarget.id; if ( ! skipLinkTargetID ) { skipLinkTargetID = 'wp--skip-link--target'; skipLinkTarget.id = skipLinkTargetID; } // Create the skip link. skipLink = document.createElement( 'a' ); skipLink.classList.add( 'skip-link', 'screen-reader-text' ); skipLink.href = '#' + skipLinkTargetID; skipLink.innerHTML = 'Skip to content'; // Inject the skip link. sibling.parentElement.insertBefore( skipLink, sibling ); }() ); </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build/dom-ready/index.min.js?m=1723558592g" ></script><script src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build/a11y/index.min.js?ver=d413713617218893642b" id="wp-a11y-js"></script> <script id="gform_gravityforms_theme-js-extra"> var gform_theme_config = {"common":{"form":{"honeypot":{"version_hash":"e6bf5d737d2b3b888b03eeb35bbf8762"}}},"hmr_dev":"","public_path":"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/gravityforms\/assets\/js\/dist\/"}; </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://theonion.com/_static/??-eJydzMEKwjAMgOEXcg1OyvQgPktp45aypjXJNvb2iredBK8//B9srYuVDdmgzctIrDBKWMn2Z5WikPXTQ8SpzglFXX4tKLsrxC7rCX7tQRXtqyRSgxU5VelswoL/GhqFmukBeZT7eegv3l/9rc9veghQaA==" ></script><script src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/mu-plugins/jetpack-13.9/jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-assets/build/i18n-loader.js?minify=true&ver=becd7d9884bc1b331e45" id="wp-jp-i18n-loader-js"></script> <script id="wp-jp-i18n-loader-js-after"> wp.jpI18nLoader.state = {"baseUrl":"https://theonion.com/wp-content/languages/","locale":"en_US","domainMap":{"jetpack-admin-ui":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-assets":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-backup-pkg":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-blaze":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-boost-core":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-boost-speed-score":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-classic-theme-helper":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-compat":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-config":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-connection":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-explat":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-forms":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-image-cdn":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-import":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-ip":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-jitm":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-licensing":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-masterbar":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-my-jetpack":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-password-checker":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-plugins-installer":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-post-list":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-protect-models":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-protect-status":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-publicize-pkg":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-search-pkg":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-stats":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-stats-admin":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-sync":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-videopress-pkg":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-waf":"plugins/jetpack","jetpack-wordads":"plugins/jetpack","woocommerce-analytics":"plugins/jetpack"},"domainPaths":{"jetpack-admin-ui":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-admin-ui/","jetpack-assets":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-assets/","jetpack-backup-pkg":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-backup/","jetpack-blaze":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-blaze/","jetpack-boost-core":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-boost-core/","jetpack-boost-speed-score":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-boost-speed-score/","jetpack-classic-theme-helper":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-classic-theme-helper/","jetpack-compat":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-compat/","jetpack-config":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-config/","jetpack-connection":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-connection/","jetpack-explat":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-explat/","jetpack-forms":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-forms/","jetpack-image-cdn":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-image-cdn/","jetpack-import":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-import/","jetpack-ip":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-ip/","jetpack-jitm":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-jitm/","jetpack-licensing":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-licensing/","jetpack-masterbar":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-masterbar/","jetpack-my-jetpack":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-my-jetpack/","jetpack-password-checker":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-password-checker/","jetpack-plugins-installer":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-plugins-installer/","jetpack-post-list":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-post-list/","jetpack-protect-models":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-protect-models/","jetpack-protect-status":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-protect-status/","jetpack-publicize-pkg":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-publicize/","jetpack-search-pkg":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-search/","jetpack-stats":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-stats/","jetpack-stats-admin":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-stats-admin/","jetpack-sync":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-sync/","jetpack-videopress-pkg":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-videopress/","jetpack-waf":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-waf/","jetpack-wordads":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-wordads/","woocommerce-analytics":"jetpack_vendor/automattic/woocommerce-analytics/"}}; </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://theonion.com/_static/??/wp-includes/js/dist/vendor/wp-polyfill.min.js,/wp-content/plugins/gutenberg/build/url/index.min.js?m=1732206022j" ></script><script id="jetpack-instant-search-js-before"> var JetpackInstantSearchOptions=JSON.parse(decodeURIComponent("%7B%22overlayOptions%22%3A%7B%22colorTheme%22%3A%22light%22%2C%22enableInfScroll%22%3Atrue%2C%22enableFilteringOpensOverlay%22%3Atrue%2C%22enablePostDate%22%3Atrue%2C%22enableSort%22%3Atrue%2C%22highlightColor%22%3A%22%23ffffff%22%2C%22overlayTrigger%22%3A%22submit%22%2C%22resultFormat%22%3A%22expanded%22%2C%22showPoweredBy%22%3Afalse%2C%22defaultSort%22%3A%22relevance%22%2C%22excludedPostTypes%22%3A%5B%22page%22%2C%22theonion_horoscope%22%5D%7D%2C%22homeUrl%22%3A%22https%3A%5C%2F%5C%2Ftheonion.com%22%2C%22locale%22%3A%22en-US%22%2C%22postsPerPage%22%3A17%2C%22siteId%22%3A234789167%2C%22postTypes%22%3A%7B%22post%22%3A%7B%22singular_name%22%3A%22Post%22%2C%22name%22%3A%22Posts%22%7D%2C%22page%22%3A%7B%22singular_name%22%3A%22Page%22%2C%22name%22%3A%22Pages%22%7D%2C%22attachment%22%3A%7B%22singular_name%22%3A%22Media%22%2C%22name%22%3A%22Media%22%7D%2C%22theonion_horoscope%22%3A%7B%22singular_name%22%3A%22Horoscope%22%2C%22name%22%3A%22Horoscopes%22%7D%7D%2C%22webpackPublicPath%22%3A%22https%3A%5C%2F%5C%2Ftheonion.com%5C%2Fwp-content%5C%2Fmu-plugins%5C%2Fjetpack-13.9%5C%2Fjetpack_vendor%5C%2Fautomattic%5C%2Fjetpack-search%5C%2Fbuild%5C%2Finstant-search%5C%2F%22%2C%22isPhotonEnabled%22%3Afalse%2C%22isFreePlan%22%3Afalse%2C%22apiRoot%22%3A%22https%3A%5C%2F%5C%2Ftheonion.com%5C%2Fwp-json%5C%2F%22%2C%22apiNonce%22%3A%22e2157351a7%22%2C%22isPrivateSite%22%3Afalse%2C%22isWpcom%22%3Afalse%2C%22hasOverlayWidgets%22%3Atrue%2C%22widgets%22%3A%5B%7B%22filters%22%3A%5B%7B%22name%22%3A%22Categories%22%2C%22type%22%3A%22taxonomy%22%2C%22taxonomy%22%3A%22category%22%2C%22count%22%3A25%2C%22widget_id%22%3A%22jetpack-search-filters-3%22%2C%22filter_id%22%3A%22taxonomy_0%22%7D%2C%7B%22name%22%3A%22Tags%22%2C%22type%22%3A%22taxonomy%22%2C%22taxonomy%22%3A%22post_tag%22%2C%22count%22%3A15%2C%22widget_id%22%3A%22jetpack-search-filters-3%22%2C%22filter_id%22%3A%22taxonomy_1%22%7D%5D%2C%22widget_id%22%3A%22jetpack-search-filters-3%22%7D%5D%2C%22widgetsOutsideOverlay%22%3A%5B%5D%2C%22hasNonSearchWidgets%22%3Afalse%2C%22preventTrackingCookiesReset%22%3Afalse%7D")); </script> <script src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/mu-plugins/jetpack-13.9/jetpack_vendor/automattic/jetpack-search/build/instant-search/jp-search.js?minify=false&ver=ad35b3c0c4998c47e4fc" id="jetpack-instant-search-js"></script> <script src="//stats.wp.com/w.js?ver=202447" id="jp-tracks-js"></script> <script id="wp-parsely-loader-js-before"> window.wpParselySiteId = 'theonion.com'; </script> <script src="https://theonion.com/wp-content/mu-plugins/wp-parsely-3.17/build/loader.js?ver=b681bb9905652ac12735" id="wp-parsely-loader-js"></script> <script data-parsely-site="theonion.com" src="https://cdn.parsely.com/keys/theonion.com/p.js?ver=3.17.0" id="parsely-cfg"></script> <script src="https://stats.wp.com/e-202447.js" id="jetpack-stats-js" data-wp-strategy="defer"></script> <script id="jetpack-stats-js-after"> _stq = window._stq || []; _stq.push([ "view", JSON.parse("{\"v\":\"ext\",\"blog\":\"234789167\",\"post\":\"1851675091\",\"tz\":\"-6\",\"srv\":\"theonion.com\",\"hp\":\"vip\",\"j\":\"1:13.9.1\"}") ]); _stq.push([ "clickTrackerInit", "234789167", "1851675091" ]); </script> <script> gform.initializeOnLoaded( function() { jQuery(document).on('gform_post_render', function(event, formId, currentPage){if(formId == 1) {if(typeof Placeholders != 'undefined'){ Placeholders.enable(); }} } );jQuery(document).on('gform_post_conditional_logic', function(event, formId, fields, isInit){} ) } ); </script> <script> gform.initializeOnLoaded( function() {jQuery(document).trigger("gform_pre_post_render", [{ formId: "1", currentPage: "1", abort: function() { this.preventDefault(); } }]); if (event && event.defaultPrevented) { return; } const gformWrapperDiv = document.getElementById( "gform_wrapper_1" ); if ( gformWrapperDiv ) { const visibilitySpan = document.createElement( "span" ); visibilitySpan.id = "gform_visibility_test_1"; gformWrapperDiv.insertAdjacentElement( "afterend", visibilitySpan ); } const visibilityTestDiv = document.getElementById( "gform_visibility_test_1" ); let postRenderFired = false; function triggerPostRender() { if ( postRenderFired ) { return; } postRenderFired = true; jQuery( document ).trigger( 'gform_post_render', [1, 1] ); gform.utils.trigger( { event: 'gform/postRender', native: false, data: { formId: 1, currentPage: 1 } } ); if ( visibilityTestDiv ) { visibilityTestDiv.parentNode.removeChild( visibilityTestDiv ); } } function debounce( func, wait, immediate ) { var timeout; return function() { var context = this, args = arguments; var later = function() { timeout = null; if ( !immediate ) func.apply( context, args ); }; var callNow = immediate && !timeout; clearTimeout( timeout ); timeout = setTimeout( later, wait ); if ( callNow ) func.apply( context, args ); }; } const debouncedTriggerPostRender = debounce( function() { triggerPostRender(); }, 200 ); if ( visibilityTestDiv && visibilityTestDiv.offsetParent === null ) { const observer = new MutationObserver( ( mutations ) => { mutations.forEach( ( mutation ) => { if ( mutation.type === 'attributes' && visibilityTestDiv.offsetParent !== null ) { debouncedTriggerPostRender(); observer.disconnect(); } }); }); observer.observe( document.body, { attributes: true, childList: false, subtree: true, attributeFilter: [ 'style', 'class' ], }); } else { triggerPostRender(); } } ); </script> </body> </html>