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id="toc-Divorce" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Divorce"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">4.2</span> <span>Divorce</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Divorce-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Child_abuse" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Child_abuse"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">4.3</span> <span>Child abuse</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Child_abuse-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Substance_abuse" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Substance_abuse"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">4.4</span> <span>Substance abuse</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Substance_abuse-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Mental_illness" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" 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<div class="mw-indicators"> </div> <div id="siteSub" class="noprint">From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia</div> </div> <div id="contentSub"><div id="mw-content-subtitle"></div></div> <div id="mw-content-text" class="mw-body-content"><div class="mw-content-ltr mw-parser-output" lang="en" dir="ltr"><div class="shortdescription nomobile noexcerpt noprint searchaux" style="display:none">Loss of relationship between family members</div> <p><b>Family estrangement</b> is the loss of a previously existing <a href="/wiki/Interpersonal_relationship" title="Interpersonal relationship">relationship</a> between <a href="/wiki/Family" title="Family">family members</a>, through physical and/or emotional distancing, often to the extent that there is negligible or no <a href="/wiki/Communication" title="Communication">communication</a> between the individuals involved for a prolonged period. </p><p>Estrangement may result from the direct interactions between those affected, including <a href="/wiki/Traumatic_experiences" class="mw-redirect" title="Traumatic experiences">traumatic experiences</a> of <a href="/wiki/Domestic_violence" title="Domestic violence">domestic violence</a>, <a href="/wiki/Abuse" title="Abuse">abuse</a>, <a href="/wiki/Neglect" title="Neglect">neglect</a>, <a href="/wiki/Behavior" title="Behavior">misbehavior</a> on the part of one or both parties, such as repetitive explosive outbursts, behaviors arising from mental illness, personality disorders or substance abuse,<sup id="cite_ref-1" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-1"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>1<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> or intense <a href="/wiki/Marital_breakdown" title="Marital breakdown">marital conflict and disagreements</a>, <a href="/wiki/Attachment_disorder" title="Attachment disorder">attachment disorders</a>, differing <a href="/wiki/Value_(ethics_and_social_sciences)" class="mw-redirect" title="Value (ethics and social sciences)">values</a> and <a href="/wiki/Belief" title="Belief">beliefs</a>, <a href="/wiki/Disappointment" title="Disappointment">disappointment</a>, major life events or change, or poor communication. It may also result from the involvement or interference of a third party.<sup id="cite_ref-:0_2-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:0-2"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>2<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup><sup id="cite_ref-Agllias,_Kylie_2013_3-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-Agllias,_Kylie_2013-3"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>3<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup><sup id="cite_ref-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015_4-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015-4"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>4<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> Recent political and cultural changes have been said to contribute,<sup id="cite_ref-5" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-5"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>5<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> as well as an "enormous expansion in behaviors described as harmful, traumatising or abusive" that occurred within a very short time frame, i.e., within a single generation.<sup id="cite_ref-6" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-6"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>6<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> <sup id="cite_ref-7" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-7"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>7<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p><p>The estrangement is often unwanted, or considered unsatisfactory, by at least one party involved.<sup id="cite_ref-:0_2-1" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:0-2"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>2<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p><p>Estrangement with <a href="/wiki/Sibling" title="Sibling">siblings</a> is called <a href="/wiki/Sibling_estrangement" title="Sibling estrangement">sibling estrangement</a>. </p> <meta property="mw:PageProp/toc" /> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="Overview">Overview</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=1" title="Edit section: Overview"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>Family estrangements are broken relationships between <a href="/wiki/Parent" title="Parent">parents</a>, <a href="/wiki/Grandparent" title="Grandparent">grandparents</a>, siblings, <a href="/wiki/Child" title="Child">children</a>, <a href="/wiki/Cousin" title="Cousin">cousins</a>, etc. Although a family estrangement can begin at any stage of life, it often begins during late <a href="/wiki/Adolescence" title="Adolescence">adolescence</a> or early <a href="/wiki/Adult" title="Adult">adulthood</a>. Characteristics of estrangement may include a lack of <a href="/wiki/Empathy" title="Empathy">empathy</a> in one or more of the parties involved. This can result in heightened levels of <a href="/wiki/Stress_(psychological)" class="mw-redirect" title="Stress (psychological)">stress</a> in all parties, although in the case of an <a href="/wiki/Relational_aggression" title="Relational aggression">abusive relationship</a> the victim may feel a sense of relief once the source of stress has been removed. </p><p>A significant proportion of estrangements involve a third party,<sup id="cite_ref-:0_2-2" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:0-2"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>2<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup><sup class="reference nowrap"><span title="Pages: 22–23">: 22–23 </span></sup> such as a member of the extended family or the adult child's <a href="/wiki/Spouse" title="Spouse">spouse</a>. For example, a child who dislikes a stepparent might refuse to have a relationship with the parent who married the stepparent; in such a case, the stepparent is the third party involved in the estrangement between the child and the parent. In some cases, the third party provides emotional support to the individual initiating the estrangement, providing the estranger with an alternative <a href="/wiki/Social_support" title="Social support">social support</a> system and thus enabling the deepening of the estrangement. In other instances, the third party—either deliberately or not consciously—is actually the sole or primary cause of two family members becoming estranged. </p><p>The rejected individual, or estrangee, may or may not try a number of strategies to repair the rift. In some cases, taking responsibility and making amends for harsh words or difficult circumstances may improve the relationship. However, if the estrangement is the result of a behavioural pattern (such as a <a href="/wiki/Personality_disorder" title="Personality disorder">personality disorder</a>) rather than a sequence of unfortunate life events, it is doubtful that the relationship will survive in any meaningful form.<sup class="noprint Inline-Template Template-Fact" style="white-space:nowrap;">[<i><a href="/wiki/Wikipedia:Citation_needed" title="Wikipedia:Citation needed"><span title="Whether this is true is up for debate and touting this view without any reliable sources could be harmful to the perception of people with personality disorders (July 2021)">citation needed</span></a></i>]</sup> </p><p>In some cases, the initiator of the estrangement stipulates boundaries in order to maintain limited contact (and therefore limit emotional damage) with the <a href="/wiki/Person" title="Person">person</a> they see as a potential abuser. In other cases, the initiator is unable or unwilling to consider any type of reconciliation. </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="Health_implications">Health implications</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=2" title="Edit section: Health implications"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>Although the rejected party's psychological and physical <a href="/wiki/Health" title="Health">health</a> may decline, the estrangement initiator's may improve due to the cessation of <a href="/wiki/Abuse" title="Abuse">abuse</a> and conflict.<sup id="cite_ref-8" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-8"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>8<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup><sup id="cite_ref-9" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-9"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>9<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> The <a href="/wiki/Social_rejection" title="Social rejection">social rejection</a> in family estrangement is the equivalent of <a href="/wiki/Ostracism" title="Ostracism">ostracism</a> which undermines four fundamental <a href="/wiki/Need" title="Need">human needs</a>: the <a href="/wiki/Belongingness" title="Belongingness">need to belong</a>, the need for control in social situations, the need to maintain high levels of <a href="/wiki/Self-esteem" title="Self-esteem">self-esteem</a>, and the need to have a sense of meaningful <a href="/wiki/Existence" title="Existence">existence</a>.<sup id="cite_ref-10" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-10"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>10<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> The rejected parties suffer adverse psychological consequences such as <a href="/wiki/Loneliness" title="Loneliness">loneliness</a>, low self-esteem, <a href="/wiki/Aggression" title="Aggression">aggression</a>, and <a href="/wiki/Depression_(mood)" title="Depression (mood)">depression</a>.<sup id="cite_ref-11" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-11"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>11<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p><p>Family estrangement activates the <a href="/wiki/Grief" title="Grief">grief</a> response because people who have experienced it often see it as a loss they were not prepared for and happened unexpectedly.<sup id="cite_ref-12" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-12"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>12<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> However, the rejected family member may not achieve the final grief stage of acceptance, given that the social death of the relationship is potentially reversible. The prolonged suffering of the rejected party, together with a perceived or real <a href="/wiki/Social_stigma" title="Social stigma">stigma</a> of having been rejected by a family member, results in isolation and behavioral changes in the rejected party.<sup id="cite_ref-13" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-13"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>13<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup><sup id="cite_ref-14" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-14"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>14<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p><p>Social workers who work with the <a href="/wiki/Old_age" title="Old age">elderly</a> population are at the forefront of a new fallout from the family estrangement. Non-supportive or absent family members during someone's end-of-life acutely increase the <a href="/wiki/Pain" title="Pain">pain</a> and stress of the final days.<sup id="cite_ref-Agllias,_Kylie_2013_3-1" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-Agllias,_Kylie_2013-3"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>3<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="Demographics">Demographics</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=3" title="Edit section: Demographics"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>An October 2022 <a href="/wiki/YouGov" title="YouGov">YouGov</a> poll in the United States found that 29% of Americans were estranged from a parent (11%), child (9%), sibling (14%), or grandparent (5%).<sup id="cite_ref-YouGov_15-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-YouGov-15"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>15<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> Considerably higher numbers of <a href="/wiki/Gay_men" title="Gay men">gay men</a> (49%), <a href="/wiki/Lesbian" title="Lesbian">lesbian</a> women (55%), and <a href="/wiki/Bisexual" class="mw-redirect" title="Bisexual">bisexual</a> people (38%) were estranged from a family member compared to <a href="/wiki/Heterosexual" class="mw-redirect" title="Heterosexual">heterosexual</a> people (27%).<sup id="cite_ref-YouGov_15-1" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-YouGov-15"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>15<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Culture">Culture</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=4" title="Edit section: Culture"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>Cultural attitudes influence the frequency of estrangement, with the United States experiencing about twice as many parent-child estrangements compared to Israel, Germany, England and Spain.<sup id="cite_ref-16" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-16"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>16<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p><p>The emphasis on the individual over a collective family unit is regarded as contributing to estrangement, as well as a rationale for estrangement.<sup id="cite_ref-17" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-17"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>17<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup><sup id="cite_ref-:3_18-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:3-18"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>18<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> In individualistic cultures, the estranger typically justifies the estrangement in relation to emotional, physical or sexual abuse. Other estrangers may see a lack of emotional support or clash of values as the justification, or may blame the other person for their own unhappiness.<sup id="cite_ref-:3_18-1" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:3-18"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>18<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> Estrangers who have suffered abuse often receive emotional support/validation as it can be easier for them to articulate and get others to understand their experience. For some victims of psychological or emotional abuse the damage has been done over a long period of time by a characteristic pattern of subtle, deniable abuse. For these people, validation may never appear in any meaningful form unless it is professional help. The estranged may also become less socially accepted because of lowered self-regulation, a reaction to the social rejection.<sup id="cite_ref-19" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-19"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>19<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="Contributing_causes">Contributing causes</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=5" title="Edit section: Contributing causes"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>Although working through stressful issues with communication, consideration and compassion can be a healthy <a href="/wiki/Coping_mechanism" class="mw-redirect" title="Coping mechanism">coping mechanism</a>, the effort can be demanding. </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Value_or_identity_conflict">Value or identity conflict</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=6" title="Edit section: Value or identity conflict"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>A family member's <a href="/wiki/Sexual_orientation" title="Sexual orientation">sexual orientation</a>, choice of <a href="/wiki/Spouse" title="Spouse">spouse</a>, <a href="/wiki/Gender_identity" title="Gender identity">gender identity</a>, <a href="/wiki/Politics" title="Politics">politics</a>, <a href="/wiki/Disability" title="Disability">disability</a>, <a href="/wiki/Religion" title="Religion">religion</a> or lack thereof may cause the estranged party to feel judged, unloved, or unaccepted causing them to initiate the estrangement or may cause the parents to <a href="/wiki/Disownment" title="Disownment">disown</a> their child.<sup id="cite_ref-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015_4-1" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015-4"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>4<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> Life choices regarding education, profession, and geography are other potentially emotionally charged topics that reflect social values. </p><p>Working through feelings to reach an understanding that accommodates the individual within the family unit challenges each individual's sense of identity as part of a society. When one or more family members rank their expectations and emotions as more important than those of another family member, then the conversation becomes a <a href="/wiki/Zero-sum_game" title="Zero-sum game">zero-sum game</a>. This is known as a <a href="/wiki/Social_trap" title="Social trap">social trap</a> in social psychology, a situation where the long-term consequences of decisions result in a cumulative loss to all parties. In these instances, estrangement is more likely than accommodation.<sup class="noprint Inline-Template Template-Fact" style="white-space:nowrap;">[<i><a href="/wiki/Wikipedia:Citation_needed" title="Wikipedia:Citation needed"><span title="This claim needs references to reliable sources. (February 2018)">citation needed</span></a></i>]</sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Divorce">Divorce</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=7" title="Edit section: Divorce"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p><a href="/wiki/Divorce" title="Divorce">Divorce</a> was cited as a reason for estrangement by 12.3% of parents and 2.3% of children in one study.<sup id="cite_ref-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015_4-2" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015-4"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>4<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> Divorced families are significantly over-represented among people experiencing a parent–child estrangement.<sup id="cite_ref-:3_18-2" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:3-18"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>18<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Child_abuse">Child abuse</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=8" title="Edit section: Child abuse"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p><a href="/wiki/Child_abuse" title="Child abuse">Child abuse</a> in the form of emotional, psychological, sexual, or physical abuse was cited by 13.9% of children who initiated estrangement with one or both parents as a reason for estrangement. Furthermore, 2.9% of estranged parents acknowledged their failure to prevent the abuse.<sup id="cite_ref-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015_4-3" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015-4"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>4<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> <a href="/wiki/Sibling_abuse" title="Sibling abuse">Abuse by siblings</a> is a factor in some estrangements between siblings.<sup id="cite_ref-:3_18-3" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:3-18"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>18<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Substance_abuse">Substance abuse</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=9" title="Edit section: Substance abuse"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p><a href="/wiki/Substance_abuse" title="Substance abuse">Substance</a> and <a href="/wiki/Alcohol_abuse" title="Alcohol abuse">alcohol abuse</a>, on the part of either the estranger or the estranged, are common causes of family tension and the resulting separation. The most highly predictive domain of social estrangement for both alcohol and drug dependency is <a href="/wiki/Homelessness" title="Homelessness">homelessness</a>.<sup id="cite_ref-20" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-20"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>20<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Mental_illness">Mental illness</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=10" title="Edit section: Mental illness"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p><a href="/wiki/Mental_illness" class="mw-redirect" title="Mental illness">Mental illness</a> on the part of either the estranger or the estranged is also a common cause of family tension and estrangement. </p><p><a href="/wiki/Post_traumatic_stress_disorder" class="mw-redirect" title="Post traumatic stress disorder">Post traumatic stress disorder</a> (PTSD) is correlated with family estrangement. Both the PTSD sufferer's symptoms and the family members' failure to be sufficiently supportive can contribute to the estrangement. Studies on soldiers with PTSD have concluded that families with a PTSD patient require more support to facilitate healing and prevent estrangement.<sup id="cite_ref-21" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-21"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>21<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Personality_disorders">Personality disorders</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=11" title="Edit section: Personality disorders"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p><a href="/wiki/Personality_disorders" class="mw-redirect" title="Personality disorders">Personality disorders</a>, particularly the <a href="/wiki/Cluster_B_personality_disorders" class="mw-redirect" title="Cluster B personality disorders">cluster B personality disorders</a> (<a href="/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder" title="Antisocial personality disorder">antisocial personality disorder</a>, <a href="/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder" title="Borderline personality disorder">borderline personality disorder</a>, <a href="/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder" title="Histrionic personality disorder">histrionic personality disorder</a>, and <a href="/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder" title="Narcissistic personality disorder">narcissistic personality disorder</a>), cause significant interpersonal conflicts. Sufferers typically have volatile relationships and may be both the estranger and the estranged multiple times throughout their lives.<sup class="noprint Inline-Template Template-Fact" style="white-space:nowrap;">[<i><a href="/wiki/Wikipedia:Citation_needed" title="Wikipedia:Citation needed"><span title="This claim needs references to reliable sources. (February 2018)">citation needed</span></a></i>]</sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Betrayal_of_trust">Betrayal of trust</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=12" title="Edit section: Betrayal of trust"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>From disputes over <a href="/wiki/Inheritance" title="Inheritance">inheritances</a> to perceived insults in public settings, a sense of betrayal can weaken the trust bonds of a family. According to developmental psychologist <a href="/wiki/Erik_Erikson" title="Erik Erikson">Erik Erikson</a>, <a href="/wiki/Trust_(social_sciences)" class="mw-redirect" title="Trust (social sciences)">trust</a> is the foundation of any <a href="/wiki/Interpersonal_relationship" title="Interpersonal relationship">relationship</a>.<sup class="noprint Inline-Template Template-Fact" style="white-space:nowrap;">[<i><a href="/wiki/Wikipedia:Citation_needed" title="Wikipedia:Citation needed"><span title="This claim needs references to reliable sources. (February 2019)">citation needed</span></a></i>]</sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="Explanations">Explanations</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=13" title="Edit section: Explanations"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>There are underlying psychological factors that explain family estrangement beyond the surface rationale of the scenario. </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Bowen_theory">Bowen theory</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=14" title="Edit section: Bowen theory"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>The separation of young adults from their families of origin in order to create families of their own is part of normal human development. According to <a href="/wiki/Murray_Bowen" title="Murray Bowen">Murray Bowen</a>, this separation can be achieved in a healthy and gradual manner that preserves the intergenerational relationships of the family of origin, providing both the new family and family of origin with a sense of continuity and support. Alternatively, a <a href="/wiki/Schism" title="Schism">schism</a> can differentiate these life stages. Familial estrangement falls into the second category. </p><p>In Bowen's theory, emotional cutoff and avoidance are unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing with <a href="/wiki/Anxiety" title="Anxiety">anxiety</a> and <a href="/wiki/Stress_(psychological)" class="mw-redirect" title="Stress (psychological)">stress</a>. These coping mechanisms represent emotional and intellectual systems that are fused rather than differentiated, so that emotions overwhelm objective thought process and govern behavior.<sup id="cite_ref-22" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-22"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>22<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> Poor differentiation is associated with continued relationship problems in life. Poor differentiation is also contagious in that it may induce stress in others. High differentiation is associated with emotional interdependence and multi-generational cooperation. <a href="/wiki/Triangulation_(psychology)" title="Triangulation (psychology)">Triangulation</a> is when a third party enters the dynamic. A third party, however, may increase tension and trigger a rebellion. </p><p>In the Bowen theory, both the estranger and the estranged may use social and work relationships to create <i>substitute families</i>.<sup id="cite_ref-23" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-23"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>23<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> Support groups and other highly emotional organizations also provide a conduit for emotional energy from unresolved issues with parents, siblings and other family members.<sup id="cite_ref-24" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-24"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>24<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Victim_–_persecutor_–_rescuer"><span id="Victim_.E2.80.93_persecutor_.E2.80.93_rescuer"></span>Victim – persecutor – rescuer</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=15" title="Edit section: Victim – persecutor – rescuer"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r1236090951">.mw-parser-output .hatnote{font-style:italic}.mw-parser-output div.hatnote{padding-left:1.6em;margin-bottom:0.5em}.mw-parser-output .hatnote i{font-style:normal}.mw-parser-output .hatnote+link+.hatnote{margin-top:-0.5em}@media print{body.ns-0 .mw-parser-output .hatnote{display:none!important}}</style><div role="note" class="hatnote navigation-not-searchable">Further information: <a href="/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome" title="Stockholm syndrome">Stockholm syndrome</a></div> <p>The <a href="/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle" title="Karpman drama triangle">Karpman drama triangle</a> is a model of dysfunctional social behaviors. The persecutor attempts to shift blame or responsibility for their own actions onto another, the rescuer offers help to the victim in a manner that reinforces dependence, and the victim feels victimized, powerless and ashamed.<sup id="cite_ref-25" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-25"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>25<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Personal_growth">Personal growth</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=16" title="Edit section: Personal growth"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>Only since the late 20th century, family estrangement has been framed, usually by the estrangers rather than the involuntarily estranged family members, as a sign of their own <a href="/wiki/Personal_growth" class="mw-redirect" title="Personal growth">personal growth</a>.<sup id="cite_ref-:3_18-4" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:3-18"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>18<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> This marks a recent shift from families as a source of moral obligations and material support to people seeing their families as tools to increase their individual happiness and to affirm their identities.<sup id="cite_ref-:3_18-5" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:3-18"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>18<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> People in this mindset may say that their choice is courageous rather than <a href="/wiki/Avoidance_coping" title="Avoidance coping">avoidant</a> or selfish.<sup id="cite_ref-:3_18-6" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:3-18"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>18<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="Costs_and_benefits">Costs and benefits</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=17" title="Edit section: Costs and benefits"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p>In the case of a parent–child estrangement, in which the adult child is typically the estranger, the adult child may receive benefits such as a sense of gaining power within the relationship, of freedom, or of control.<sup id="cite_ref-:3_18-7" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:3-18"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>18<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> The rejected parents do not experience any benefits but do experience social stigma and feelings of loss.<sup id="cite_ref-:3_18-8" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:3-18"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>18<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup><sup id="cite_ref-26" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-26"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>26<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="Reconciliation">Reconciliation</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=18" title="Edit section: Reconciliation"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <p><a href="/wiki/Reconciliation_(family_law)" title="Reconciliation (family law)">Reconciliation</a> and <a href="/wiki/Conflict_resolution" title="Conflict resolution">resolution of the conflict</a> are possible in some situations.<sup id="cite_ref-:1_27-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:1-27"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>27<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> A decision to "live life forward", and to not seek the emotional validation of getting the other parties to agree about what happened in the past, helps some people build a functional, if sometimes more limited, relationship.<sup id="cite_ref-:1_27-1" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:1-27"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>27<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup><sup id="cite_ref-:2_28-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:2-28"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>28<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> This may involve <a href="/wiki/Setting_boundaries" class="mw-redirect" title="Setting boundaries">setting boundaries</a> collaboratively, for example, so that all parties agree that a particularly difficult subject will not be discussed.<sup id="cite_ref-:2_28-1" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:2-28"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>28<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> For example, parents and their adult children may set boundaries together about how often they want to communicate or what information should be considered private.<sup id="cite_ref-:3_18-9" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:3-18"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>18<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p><p>Triggers for reconciliation include changes in the family situation due to death or divorce, worries about health and death, and developing a clearer perspective about the original situation through the passage of time.<sup id="cite_ref-:2_28-2" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-:2-28"><span class="cite-bracket">[</span>28<span class="cite-bracket">]</span></a></sup> </p> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="See_also">See also</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=19" title="Edit section: See also"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Absenteeism" title="Absenteeism">Absenteeism</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Attachment_theory" title="Attachment theory">Attachment theory</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Disownment" title="Disownment">Disownment</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Emotional_detachment" title="Emotional detachment">Emotional detachment</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Psychological_punishment" title="Psychological punishment">Psychological punishment</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Shunning" title="Shunning">Shunning</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Sibling_rivalry" title="Sibling rivalry">Sibling rivalry</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Social_rejection" title="Social rejection">Social rejection</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Defence_mechanisms" class="mw-redirect" title="Defence mechanisms">Defence mechanisms</a></li></ul> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="References">References</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=20" title="Edit section: References"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r1239543626">.mw-parser-output .reflist{margin-bottom:0.5em;list-style-type:decimal}@media screen{.mw-parser-output .reflist{font-size:90%}}.mw-parser-output .reflist .references{font-size:100%;margin-bottom:0;list-style-type:inherit}.mw-parser-output .reflist-columns-2{column-width:30em}.mw-parser-output .reflist-columns-3{column-width:25em}.mw-parser-output .reflist-columns{margin-top:0.3em}.mw-parser-output .reflist-columns ol{margin-top:0}.mw-parser-output .reflist-columns li{page-break-inside:avoid;break-inside:avoid-column}.mw-parser-output .reflist-upper-alpha{list-style-type:upper-alpha}.mw-parser-output .reflist-upper-roman{list-style-type:upper-roman}.mw-parser-output .reflist-lower-alpha{list-style-type:lower-alpha}.mw-parser-output .reflist-lower-greek{list-style-type:lower-greek}.mw-parser-output .reflist-lower-roman{list-style-type:lower-roman}</style><div class="reflist"> <div class="mw-references-wrap mw-references-columns"><ol class="references"> <li id="cite_note-1"><span class="mw-cite-backlink"><b><a href="#cite_ref-1">^</a></b></span> <span class="reference-text"><style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r1238218222">.mw-parser-output cite.citation{font-style:inherit;word-wrap:break-word}.mw-parser-output .citation q{quotes:"\"""\"""'""'"}.mw-parser-output .citation:target{background-color:rgba(0,127,255,0.133)}.mw-parser-output .id-lock-free.id-lock-free a{background:url("//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/65/Lock-green.svg")right 0.1em center/9px no-repeat}.mw-parser-output .id-lock-limited.id-lock-limited a,.mw-parser-output .id-lock-registration.id-lock-registration a{background:url("//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d6/Lock-gray-alt-2.svg")right 0.1em center/9px no-repeat}.mw-parser-output .id-lock-subscription.id-lock-subscription a{background:url("//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/aa/Lock-red-alt-2.svg")right 0.1em center/9px no-repeat}.mw-parser-output .cs1-ws-icon a{background:url("//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4c/Wikisource-logo.svg")right 0.1em center/12px no-repeat}body:not(.skin-timeless):not(.skin-minerva) .mw-parser-output .id-lock-free a,body:not(.skin-timeless):not(.skin-minerva) .mw-parser-output .id-lock-limited a,body:not(.skin-timeless):not(.skin-minerva) .mw-parser-output .id-lock-registration a,body:not(.skin-timeless):not(.skin-minerva) .mw-parser-output .id-lock-subscription a,body:not(.skin-timeless):not(.skin-minerva) .mw-parser-output .cs1-ws-icon a{background-size:contain;padding:0 1em 0 0}.mw-parser-output .cs1-code{color:inherit;background:inherit;border:none;padding:inherit}.mw-parser-output .cs1-hidden-error{display:none;color:var(--color-error,#d33)}.mw-parser-output .cs1-visible-error{color:var(--color-error,#d33)}.mw-parser-output .cs1-maint{display:none;color:#085;margin-left:0.3em}.mw-parser-output .cs1-kern-left{padding-left:0.2em}.mw-parser-output .cs1-kern-right{padding-right:0.2em}.mw-parser-output .citation .mw-selflink{font-weight:inherit}@media screen{.mw-parser-output .cs1-format{font-size:95%}html.skin-theme-clientpref-night .mw-parser-output .cs1-maint{color:#18911f}}@media screen and (prefers-color-scheme:dark){html.skin-theme-clientpref-os .mw-parser-output .cs1-maint{color:#18911f}}</style><cite id="CITEREFMcHugh" class="citation web cs1">McHugh, Beth. <a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="https://youronlinecounselor.com/Articles/Estranged-children-blame-the-mother.htm#:~:text=However%2C%20it%20is%20never%2C%20ever,all%20with%20the%20their%20child.">"Estranged Adult Children: When People Blame the Mother"</a>. <i>Your Online Counselor</i>. youronlinecounselor.com<span class="reference-accessdate">. Retrieved <span class="nowrap">2024-05-13</span></span>.</cite><span title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&rft.genre=unknown&rft.jtitle=Your+Online+Counselor&rft.atitle=Estranged+Adult+Children%3A+When+People+Blame+the+Mother&rft.aulast=McHugh&rft.aufirst=Beth&rft_id=https%3A%2F%2Fyouronlinecounselor.com%2FArticles%2FEstranged-children-blame-the-mother.htm%23%3A~%3Atext%3DHowever%252C%2520it%2520is%2520never%252C%2520ever%2Call%2520with%2520the%2520their%2520child.&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fen.wikipedia.org%3AFamily+estrangement" class="Z3988"></span></span> </li> <li id="cite_note-:0-2"><span class="mw-cite-backlink">^ <a href="#cite_ref-:0_2-0"><sup><i><b>a</b></i></sup></a> <a href="#cite_ref-:0_2-1"><sup><i><b>b</b></i></sup></a> <a href="#cite_ref-:0_2-2"><sup><i><b>c</b></i></sup></a></span> <span class="reference-text"><link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1238218222"><cite id="CITEREFAgllias2017" class="citation book cs1">Agllias, Kylie (2017). <i>Family estrangement : a matter of perspective</i>. London: Routledge. <a href="/wiki/ISBN_(identifier)" class="mw-redirect" title="ISBN (identifier)">ISBN</a> <a href="/wiki/Special:BookSources/9781472458612" title="Special:BookSources/9781472458612"><bdi>9781472458612</bdi></a>. <a href="/wiki/OCLC_(identifier)" class="mw-redirect" title="OCLC (identifier)">OCLC</a> <a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="https://search.worldcat.org/oclc/937999129">937999129</a>.</cite><span title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Abook&rft.genre=book&rft.btitle=Family+estrangement+%3A+a+matter+of+perspective&rft.place=London&rft.pub=Routledge&rft.date=2017&rft_id=info%3Aoclcnum%2F937999129&rft.isbn=9781472458612&rft.aulast=Agllias&rft.aufirst=Kylie&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fen.wikipedia.org%3AFamily+estrangement" class="Z3988"></span></span> </li> <li id="cite_note-Agllias,_Kylie_2013-3"><span class="mw-cite-backlink">^ <a href="#cite_ref-Agllias,_Kylie_2013_3-0"><sup><i><b>a</b></i></sup></a> <a href="#cite_ref-Agllias,_Kylie_2013_3-1"><sup><i><b>b</b></i></sup></a></span> <span class="reference-text">Agllias, Kylie. (Sep 2013). Family Estrangement. Encyclopedia of Social Work. Subject: Couples and Families, Aging and Older Adults, Children and Adolescents. <link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1238218222"><a href="/wiki/Doi_(identifier)" class="mw-redirect" title="Doi (identifier)">doi</a>:<a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="https://doi.org/10.1093%2Facrefore%2F9780199975839.013.919">10.1093/acrefore/9780199975839.013.919</a></span> </li> <li id="cite_note-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015-4"><span class="mw-cite-backlink">^ <a href="#cite_ref-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015_4-0"><sup><i><b>a</b></i></sup></a> <a href="#cite_ref-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015_4-1"><sup><i><b>b</b></i></sup></a> <a href="#cite_ref-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015_4-2"><sup><i><b>c</b></i></sup></a> <a href="#cite_ref-Carr,_Holman,_Abetz,_Kellas,_Vagnoni_2015_4-3"><sup><i><b>d</b></i></sup></a></span> <span class="reference-text">Carr, Holman, Abetz, Kellas, Vagnoni. (2015). Giving Voice to the Silence of Family Estrangement: Comparing Reasons of Estranged Parents and Adult Children in a Nonmatched Sample <link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1238218222"><a href="/wiki/Doi_(identifier)" class="mw-redirect" title="Doi (identifier)">doi</a>:<a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="https://doi.org/10.1080%2F15267431.2015.1013106">10.1080/15267431.2015.1013106</a></span> </li> <li id="cite_note-5"><span class="mw-cite-backlink"><b><a href="#cite_ref-5">^</a></b></span> <span class="reference-text"><link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1238218222"><cite id="CITEREFColeman" class="citation web cs1">Coleman, Joshua. <a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="https://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/post/family-estrangement-why-adults-are-cutting-off-their-parents">"Family Estrangement: Why Adults are Cutting Off Their Parents"</a>. <i>Joshua Coleman Ph.D</i>. drjoshuacoleman.com<span class="reference-accessdate">. Retrieved <span class="nowrap">2024-05-13</span></span>.</cite><span title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&rft.genre=unknown&rft.jtitle=Joshua+Coleman+Ph.D.&rft.atitle=Family+Estrangement%3A+Why+Adults+are+Cutting+Off+Their+Parents&rft.aulast=Coleman&rft.aufirst=Joshua&rft_id=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.drjoshuacoleman.com%2Fpost%2Ffamily-estrangement-why-adults-are-cutting-off-their-parents&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fen.wikipedia.org%3AFamily+estrangement" class="Z3988"></span></span> </li> <li id="cite_note-6"><span class="mw-cite-backlink"><b><a href="#cite_ref-6">^</a></b></span> <span class="reference-text"><link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1238218222"><cite id="CITEREFColeman" class="citation web cs1">Coleman, Joshua. <a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="https://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/post/estranged-when-feeling-good-about-ourselves-matters-more-than-filial-duty">"Estranged: When feeling good about ourselves matters more than filial duty"</a>. <i>Joshua Coleman Ph.D</i>. drjoshuacolemen.com<span class="reference-accessdate">. Retrieved <span class="nowrap">2024-05-13</span></span>.</cite><span title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&rft.genre=unknown&rft.jtitle=Joshua+Coleman+Ph.D.&rft.atitle=Estranged%3A+When+feeling+good+about+ourselves+matters+more+than+filial+duty&rft.aulast=Coleman&rft.aufirst=Joshua&rft_id=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.drjoshuacoleman.com%2Fpost%2Festranged-when-feeling-good-about-ourselves-matters-more-than-filial-duty&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fen.wikipedia.org%3AFamily+estrangement" class="Z3988"></span></span> </li> <li id="cite_note-7"><span class="mw-cite-backlink"><b><a href="#cite_ref-7">^</a></b></span> <span class="reference-text"><link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1238218222"><cite id="CITEREFHaslam" class="citation web cs1">Haslam, Nick. <a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/1047840X.2016.1082418">"Concept Creep: Psychology's Expanding Concepts of Harm and Pathology"</a>. <i>Psychological Inquiry Volume 27, 2016 - Issue 1</i>. Taylor & Francis Online<span class="reference-accessdate">. Retrieved <span class="nowrap">2024-05-13</span></span>.</cite><span title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&rft.genre=unknown&rft.jtitle=Psychological+Inquiry+Volume+27%2C+2016+-+Issue+1&rft.atitle=Concept+Creep%3A+Psychology%27s+Expanding+Concepts+of+Harm+and+Pathology&rft.aulast=Haslam&rft.aufirst=Nick&rft_id=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tandfonline.com%2Fdoi%2Ffull%2F10.1080%2F1047840X.2016.1082418&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fen.wikipedia.org%3AFamily+estrangement" class="Z3988"></span></span> </li> <li id="cite_note-8"><span class="mw-cite-backlink"><b><a href="#cite_ref-8">^</a></b></span> <span class="reference-text">Agllias, K. (2011a). Every family: Intergenerational estrangement between older parents and their adult-children. 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Retrieved <span class="nowrap">2020-12-08</span></span>.</cite><span title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&rft.genre=article&rft.jtitle=The+New+York+Times&rft.atitle=The+Causes+of+Estrangement%2C+and+How+Families+Heal&rft.date=2020-09-10&rft.issn=0362-4331&rft.aulast=Span&rft.aufirst=Paula&rft_id=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2020%2F09%2F10%2Fwell%2Ffamily%2Ffamily-estrangement.html&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fen.wikipedia.org%3AFamily+estrangement" class="Z3988"></span></span> </li> </ol></div></div> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="Further_reading">Further reading</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=21" title="Edit section: Further reading"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <ul><li><link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1238218222"><cite id="CITEREFPillemer,_Karl_A.2020" class="citation book cs1">Pillemer, Karl A. (8 September 2020). <i>Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them</i>. New York. <a href="/wiki/ISBN_(identifier)" class="mw-redirect" title="ISBN (identifier)">ISBN</a> <a href="/wiki/Special:BookSources/978-0-525-53903-2" title="Special:BookSources/978-0-525-53903-2"><bdi>978-0-525-53903-2</bdi></a>. <a href="/wiki/OCLC_(identifier)" class="mw-redirect" title="OCLC (identifier)">OCLC</a> <a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="https://search.worldcat.org/oclc/1145305518">1145305518</a>.</cite><span title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Abook&rft.genre=book&rft.btitle=Fault+Lines%3A+Fractured+Families+and+How+to+Mend+Them&rft.place=New+York&rft.date=2020-09-08&rft_id=info%3Aoclcnum%2F1145305518&rft.isbn=978-0-525-53903-2&rft.au=Pillemer%2C+Karl+A.&rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fen.wikipedia.org%3AFamily+estrangement" class="Z3988"></span><span class="cs1-maint citation-comment"><code class="cs1-code">{{<a href="/wiki/Template:Cite_book" title="Template:Cite book">cite book</a>}}</code>: CS1 maint: location missing publisher (<a href="/wiki/Category:CS1_maint:_location_missing_publisher" title="Category:CS1 maint: location missing publisher">link</a>)</span></li></ul> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="External_links">External links</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Family_estrangement&action=edit&section=22" title="Edit section: External links"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <ul><li><a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="http://www.standalone.org.uk">Stand Alone Charity</a></li> <li><a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="http://www.togetherestranged.org">Together Estranged</a> nonprofit organization</li></ul> <div class="navbox-styles"><style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r1129693374">.mw-parser-output .hlist dl,.mw-parser-output .hlist ol,.mw-parser-output .hlist ul{margin:0;padding:0}.mw-parser-output .hlist dd,.mw-parser-output .hlist dt,.mw-parser-output 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href="/wiki/Immediate_family" title="Immediate family">Immediate family</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Matrifocal_family" title="Matrifocal family">Matrifocal family</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%"><a href="/wiki/Coefficient_of_relationship#Human_relationships" title="Coefficient of relationship">First-degree relatives</a></th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-odd" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Parent" title="Parent">Parent</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Mother" title="Mother">mother</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Father" title="Father">father</a></li></ul></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Child" title="Child">Child</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Son" title="Son">son</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Daughter" title="Daughter">daughter</a></li></ul></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Sibling" title="Sibling">Sibling</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Brother" title="Brother">brother</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Sister" title="Sister">sister</a></li></ul></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%">Second-degree relatives</th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-even" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Grandparent" title="Grandparent">Grandparent</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Grandchild" class="mw-redirect" title="Grandchild">Grandchild</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Uncle" title="Uncle">Uncle</a>/<a href="/wiki/Aunt" title="Aunt">Aunt</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Niece_and_nephew" title="Niece and nephew">Niece/Nephew</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%">Third-degree relatives</th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-odd" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Great-grandparent" class="mw-redirect" title="Great-grandparent">Great-grandparent</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Great-grandchild" class="mw-redirect" title="Great-grandchild">Great-grandchild</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Great-uncle" class="mw-redirect" title="Great-uncle">Great-uncle</a>/<a href="/wiki/Great-aunt" class="mw-redirect" title="Great-aunt">Great-aunt</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Cousin" title="Cousin">Cousin</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%"><a href="/wiki/Affinity_(law)" title="Affinity (law)">Family-in-law</a></th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-even" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Spouse" title="Spouse">Spouse</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Wife" title="Wife">wife</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Husband" title="Husband">husband</a></li></ul></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Parent-in-law" title="Parent-in-law">Parent-in-law</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Sibling-in-law" title="Sibling-in-law">Sibling-in-law</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Child-in-law" class="mw-redirect" title="Child-in-law">Child-in-law</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Daughter-in-law" class="mw-redirect" title="Daughter-in-law">daughter-in-law</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Son-in-law" class="mw-redirect" title="Son-in-law">son-in-law</a></li></ul></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%"><a href="/wiki/Stepfamily" title="Stepfamily">Stepfamily</a></th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-odd" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Stepparent" class="mw-redirect" title="Stepparent">Stepparent</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Stepfather" title="Stepfather">stepfather</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Stepmother" title="Stepmother">stepmother</a></li></ul></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Stepchild" title="Stepchild">Stepchild</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Stepsibling" title="Stepsibling">Stepsibling</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%"><a href="/wiki/Kinship_terminology" title="Kinship terminology">Kinship terminology</a></th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-even" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Kinship" title="Kinship">Kinship</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Australian_Aboriginal_kinship" title="Australian Aboriginal kinship">Australian Aboriginal kinship</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Adoption" title="Adoption">Adoption</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Affinity_(law)" title="Affinity (law)">Affinity</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Consanguinity" title="Consanguinity">Consanguinity</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Disownment" title="Disownment">Disownment</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Divorce" title="Divorce">Divorce</a></li> <li><a class="mw-selflink selflink">Estrangement</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Family_of_choice" title="Family of choice">Family of choice</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Fictive_kinship" title="Fictive kinship">Fictive kinship</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Marriage" title="Marriage">Marriage</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Nurture_kinship" title="Nurture kinship">Nurture kinship</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Chinese_kinship" title="Chinese kinship">Chinese kinship</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Hawaiian_kinship" title="Hawaiian kinship">Hawaiian kinship</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Sudanese_kinship" title="Sudanese kinship">Sudanese kinship</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Eskimo_kinship" title="Eskimo kinship">Eskimo kinship</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Iroquois_kinship" title="Iroquois kinship">Iroquois kinship</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Crow_kinship" title="Crow kinship">Crow kinship</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Omaha_kinship" title="Omaha kinship">Omaha kinship</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%"><a href="/wiki/Genealogy" title="Genealogy">Genealogy</a><br />and <a href="/wiki/Ancestor" title="Ancestor">lineage</a></th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-odd" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Bilateral_descent" title="Bilateral descent">Bilateral descent</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Most_recent_common_ancestor" title="Most recent common ancestor">Common ancestor</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Surname" title="Surname">Family name</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Heirloom" title="Heirloom">Heirloom</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Heredity" title="Heredity">Heredity</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Inheritance" title="Inheritance">Inheritance</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Lineal_descendant" title="Lineal descendant">Lineal descendant</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Collateral_(kinship)" title="Collateral (kinship)">collateral descent</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Matrilineality" title="Matrilineality">Matrilineality</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Patrilineality" title="Patrilineality">Patrilineality</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Progenitor" title="Progenitor">Progenitor</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Clan" title="Clan">Clan</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Royal_descent" title="Royal descent">Royal descent</a></li></ul> </div><table class="nowraplinks navbox-subgroup" style="border-spacing:0"><tbody><tr><th id="Family_trees" scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%"><a href="/wiki/Family_tree" title="Family tree">Family trees</a></th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-even" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Pedigree_chart" title="Pedigree chart">Pedigree chart</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Genogram" title="Genogram">Genogram</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Ahnentafel" title="Ahnentafel">Ahnentafel</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Genealogical_numbering_systems" title="Genealogical numbering systems">Genealogical numbering systems</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Seize_quartiers" title="Seize quartiers">Seize quartiers</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Quarters_of_nobility" title="Quarters of nobility">Quarters of nobility</a></li></ul></li></ul> </div></td></tr></tbody></table><div> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%">Relationships</th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-odd" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Agape" title="Agape">Agape (parental love)</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Eros_(concept)" title="Eros (concept)">Eros (marital love)</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Philia" title="Philia">Philia (brotherly love)</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Storge" title="Storge">Storge (familial love)</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Filial_piety" title="Filial piety">Filial piety</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Polyfidelity" title="Polyfidelity">Polyfidelity</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%">Holidays</th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-even" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Mother%27s_Day" title="Mother's Day">Mother's Day</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Mother%27s_Day_(United_States)" title="Mother's Day (United States)">U.S.</a></li></ul></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Father%27s_Day" title="Father's Day">Father's Day</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Father%E2%80%93Daughter_Day" title="Father–Daughter Day">Father–Daughter Day</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Siblings_Day" title="Siblings Day">Siblings Day</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Grandparents%27_Day" title="Grandparents' Day">National Grandparents Day</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Parents%27_Day" title="Parents' Day">Parents' Day</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Children%27s_Day" title="Children's Day">Children's Day</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Children%27s_Day_(Japan)" title="Children's Day (Japan)">Japan</a></li></ul></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Family_Day" title="Family Day">Family Day</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Family_Day_(Canada)" title="Family Day (Canada)">Canada</a></li></ul></li> <li><a href="/wiki/American_Family_Day" title="American Family Day">American Family Day</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/International_Day_of_Families" title="International Day of Families">International Day of Families</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/National_Family_Week" title="National Family Week">National Family Week</a> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/National_Family_Week_(UK)" title="National Family Week (UK)">UK</a></li></ul></li> <li><a href="/wiki/National_Adoption_Day" title="National Adoption Day">National Adoption Day</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%">Related</th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-odd" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Single_parent" title="Single parent">Single parent</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Wedding_anniversary" title="Wedding anniversary">Wedding anniversary</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Godparent" title="Godparent">Godparent</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Birth_order" title="Birth order">Birth order</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Only_child" title="Only child">Only child</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Middle_child_syndrome" title="Middle child syndrome">Middle child syndrome</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Sociology_of_the_family" title="Sociology of the family">Sociology of the family</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Museum_of_Motherhood" title="Museum of Motherhood">Museum of Motherhood</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Astronaut_family" title="Astronaut family">Astronaut family</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Dysfunctional_family" title="Dysfunctional family">Dysfunctional family</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Domestic_violence" title="Domestic violence">Domestic violence</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Incest" title="Incest">Incest</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Sibling_abuse" title="Sibling abuse">Sibling abuse</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Sibling_estrangement" title="Sibling estrangement">Sibling estrangement</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Sibling_rivalry" title="Sibling rivalry">Sibling rivalry</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr></tbody></table></div> <div class="navbox-styles"><link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1129693374"><link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1236075235"></div><div role="navigation" class="navbox" aria-labelledby="Borderline_personality_disorder" style="padding:3px"><table class="nowraplinks mw-collapsible autocollapse navbox-inner" style="border-spacing:0;background:transparent;color:inherit"><tbody><tr><th scope="col" class="navbox-title" colspan="2"><link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1129693374"><link rel="mw-deduplicated-inline-style" href="mw-data:TemplateStyles:r1239400231"><div class="navbar plainlinks hlist navbar-mini"><ul><li class="nv-view"><a href="/wiki/Template:Borderline_personality_disorder" title="Template:Borderline personality disorder"><abbr title="View this template">v</abbr></a></li><li class="nv-talk"><a href="/wiki/Template_talk:Borderline_personality_disorder" title="Template talk:Borderline personality disorder"><abbr title="Discuss this template">t</abbr></a></li><li class="nv-edit"><a href="/wiki/Special:EditPage/Template:Borderline_personality_disorder" title="Special:EditPage/Template:Borderline personality disorder"><abbr title="Edit this template">e</abbr></a></li></ul></div><div id="Borderline_personality_disorder" style="font-size:114%;margin:0 4em"><a href="/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder" title="Borderline personality disorder">Borderline personality disorder</a></div></th></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%">General</th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-odd hlist" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Dimensional_models_of_personality_disorders" title="Dimensional models of personality disorders">Dimensional models of personality disorders</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Impulse-control_disorder" title="Impulse-control disorder">Impulse-control disorders</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Trauma_model_of_mental_disorders" title="Trauma model of mental disorders">Trauma model of mental disorders</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Misdiagnosis_of_borderline_personality_disorder" title="Misdiagnosis of borderline personality disorder">Misdiagnosis of borderline personality disorder</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%">Symptoms and behaviors</th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-even hlist" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Dissociation_(psychology)" title="Dissociation (psychology)">Dissociation</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Eating_disorder" title="Eating disorder">Eating disorders</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Emotional_dysregulation" title="Emotional dysregulation">Emotional dysregulation</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Emptiness" title="Emptiness">Feelings of emptiness</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Episodic_memory" title="Episodic memory">Episodic memory</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Hypersexuality" title="Hypersexuality">Hypersexuality</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Idealization_and_devaluation" title="Idealization and devaluation">Idealization and devaluation</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Impulsivity" title="Impulsivity">Impulsivity</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Mood_swing" title="Mood swing">Mood swings</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Psychological_projection" title="Psychological projection">Projection</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Self-harm" title="Self-harm">Self-harm</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Splitting_(psychology)" title="Splitting (psychology)">Splitting</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Suicidal_ideation" title="Suicidal ideation">Suicidal ideation</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%"><a href="/wiki/Management_of_borderline_personality_disorder" title="Management of borderline personality disorder">Management</a></th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-odd hlist" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy" title="Dialectical behavior therapy">Dialectical behavior therapy</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Dynamic_deconstructive_psychotherapy" title="Dynamic deconstructive psychotherapy">Dynamic deconstructive psychotherapy</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/McLean_Hospital" title="McLean Hospital">McLean Hospital</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Mentalization-based_treatment" title="Mentalization-based treatment">Mentalization-based treatment</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Schema_therapy" title="Schema therapy">Schema therapy</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Social_psychiatry" title="Social psychiatry">Social psychiatry</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Transference_focused_psychotherapy" class="mw-redirect" title="Transference focused psychotherapy">Transference focused psychotherapy</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="navbox-group" style="width:1%">Family challenges</th><td class="navbox-list-with-group navbox-list navbox-even hlist" style="width:100%;padding:0"><div style="padding:0 0.25em"> <ul><li><a href="/wiki/BPDFamily.com" title="BPDFamily.com">BPDFamily (support group)</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Codependency" title="Codependency">Codependency</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder" title="Complex post-traumatic stress disorder">Complex PTSD</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Emotional_blackmail" title="Emotional blackmail">Emotional blackmail</a></li> <li><a class="mw-selflink selflink">Family estrangement</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Sibling_estrangement" title="Sibling estrangement">Sibling estrangement</a></li> <li><a href="/wiki/Personal_boundaries" title="Personal boundaries">Personal boundaries</a></li></ul> </div></td></tr></tbody></table></div>    </div><noscript><img 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