Understand Relationship Abuse

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If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call us at 800.799.SAFE (7233). <strong><a href="https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/internet-safety/">Learn more about digital security</a></strong> and remember to clear your browser history after visiting this website.</p> <p><strong>Click the red “X” in the upper-right corner or “Escape” button on your keyboard twice at any time to leave TheHotline.org immediately.</strong></p> <p class="safety1-action"><a href="#" class="button1 -small" toggle="^.modal1//-" x-data="quickookie()" x-init="cookie_name='modal'" @click="set()"><span>OK</span></a></p> </div> </div> </div> </div> <section role="main" class="content1" id="content" data-warning="Your browser is outdated, it will not render this page properly, please upgrade."> <div class="wrap1"> <div class="wrap1-inner -contain"> <div class="header4"> <div class="header4-main"> <h1 class="title1" reveal="1+/0"> Understand Relationship Abuse <span>We're all affected by the issue of domestic violence. </span> </h1> </div> <figure class="header4-image" reveal="1+/1"> <span class="img1 " style="--r: 0.8" > <img class="lazyload" data-src="https://www.thehotline.org/wp-content/uploads/media/2020/09/1206911130-hotline-700x560-1.png" alt="Woman wanting to understand relationship abuse." data-srcset="https://www.thehotline.org/wp-content/uploads/media/2020/09/1206911130-hotline-700x560-1.png 700w, https://www.thehotline.org/wp-content/uploads/media/2020/09/1206911130-hotline-700x560-1-500x400.png 500w" data-sizes="auto" /> <i class="loader1 "></i> <noscript><img src="https://www.thehotline.org/wp-content/uploads/media/2020/09/1206911130-hotline-700x560-1.png" alt="Woman wanting to understand relationship abuse."></noscript> </span> <figcaption class="sr-only">Woman wanting to understand relationship abuse.</figcaption> </figure> </div> </div> </div> <div class="-xw:4 -contain -mx:a -wysiwyg"><p>To understand relationship abuse, we must recognize that it is more than just physical violence. Domestic violence can happen in <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/resources/types-of-abuse/">different ways</a>, so it’s important to understand the behaviors that define it. Ending the harm and stigma of domestic violence requires a nuanced understanding of what abuse is, as well as examples of <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/resources/healthy-relationships/">healthy relationships</a>. This can help you make the best decisions for yourself or <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/resources/when-a-survivor-asks-you-for-help/">for a loved one</a>.</p> <p><a href="https://www.thehotline.org/get-help/"><b>Our advocates are available 24/7 by phone and live chat</b></a> to discuss your situation and help you determine if your relationship might be abusive.</p> <h2>Abuse defined</h2> <p><b>Domestic violence</b> (also referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV), dating abuse, or relationship abuse) <b>is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/">power and control</a> over another partner in an intimate relationship</b>.</p> <p>Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate. People of any race, age, gender, sexuality, religion, education level, or economic status can be a victim — or perpetrator — of domestic violence. That includes behaviors that physically harm, intimidate, manipulate, or control a partner or otherwise force them to behave in ways they don’t want to. This can happen through physical violence, threats, <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/resources/what-is-emotional-abuse/">emotional abuse</a>, or <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/resources/what-is-financial-abuse/">financial control</a>.</p> <h2>Understand relationship abuse types</h2> <p>Multiple <a href="https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/">forms of abuse</a> are usually present at the same time in abusive situations, and it’s essential to understand how these behaviors interact so you know <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/domestic-abuse-warning-signs/"><strong>what to look for</strong></a>. When we understand what relationship abuse looks like and means, we can then take steps to get help for ourselves as well as better <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/support-others/">support others</a> who are experiencing abuse.</p> </div> <div class="wrap1 -c:a1"> <div class="wrap1-inner -contain"> <div class="header5 -cs:1" reveal="1/"> <figure class="header5-icon"> <span class="img1 -fit -right" style="--r: 0.80952380952381"> <img class="lazyload" data-src="https://www.thehotline.org/wp-content/themes/hotline-main/assets/temp/icon-eye.svg" alt="a blinking eye icon" /> <i class="loader1"></i> <noscript><img src="https://www.thehotline.org/wp-content/themes/hotline-main/assets/temp/icon-eye.svg" alt="a blinking eye icon"></noscript> </span> <figcaption class="sr-only">a blinking eye icon</figcaption> </figure> <h2 class="header5-title">Recognizing abuse is the first step</h2> </div> <div class="pills1"> <ul class="pills1-wrap" g1> <li reveal="1/" aligned><a href="https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/domestic-abuse-warning-signs/" class="button1">Warning Signs of Abuse</a></li> <li reveal="1/" aligned><a href="https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/" class="button1">Power and Control</a></li> <li reveal="1/" aligned><a href="https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/why-do-people-abuse/" class="button1">Why People Abuse</a></li> <li reveal="1/" aligned><a href="https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/abuse-in-specific-communities/" class="button1">Abuse and Cultural Context</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> <div class="-mb:0"> <div class="wrap1 -c:b3 -bump -noimage"> <div class="wrap1-inner -contain"> <div class="header3"> <div class="header3-wrap"> <h2 class="header3-title" reveal="1/">Learn more about power and control in abusive relationships</h2> <p class="iconed2" reveal="1/"> <i class="icon-star"></i> <span>Why people abuse and why people stay.</span> </p> </div> </div> <div class="resource1 -noimage"> <div class="stream1"> <div class="stream1-entries -gg:1" g1> <div class="stream1-entry" w="24/12//" reveal="1/" aligned> <div class="card2"> <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/resources/consent/" class="card2-wrap"> <div class="card2-main"> <h3 class="card2-title -t:4">Consent</h3> <p class="card2-icon"><i class="icon-arrow-right"></i></p> </div> </a> </div> </div> <div class="stream1-entry" w="24/12//" reveal="1/" aligned> <div class="card2"> <a href="https://www.thehotline.org/resources/types-of-abuse/" class="card2-wrap"> <div class="card2-main"> <h3 class="card2-title -t:4">Types of Abuse</h3> <p class="card2-icon"><i class="icon-arrow-right"></i></p> </div> </a> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </section> <footer class="footer1" id="footer" role="contentinfo"> <div class="footer1-wrap -contain -cs:1 -t:10"> <div class="footer1-main"> <div class="footer1-block"> <h4 class="footer1-subtitle">Contact</h4> <address>National Domestic Violence Hotline<br /> PO Box 90249<br /> Austin, Texas 78709<br /> Administrative Line: 737-225-3150</address> </div> <div class="footer1-block"> <h4 class="footer1-subtitle">Follow</h4> <div class="socials1"> <ul class="socials1-items" g2> <li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotline/" class="icon-facebook" aria-label="Share on Facebook"><span>Facebook</span></a></li> <li><a href="https://instagram.com/NDVHofficial/" class="icon-instagram" aria-label="Share on Instagram"><span>Instagram</span></a></li> <li><a href="https://twitter.com/NDVH/" class="icon-twitter-x" aria-label="Share on X"><span>X</span></a></li> <li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/NDVHotline/" class="icon-youtube" aria-label="Share on YouTube"><span>YouTube</span></a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <div class="footer1-block -copys -as:3"> <p>The Hotline<span class="trademark" style="font-size: 25px; vertical-align: -webkit-baseline-middle;">®</span><br /> National Domestic Violence Hotline</p> <p><a href="/privacy-policy">Privacy Policy</a></p> </div> </div> <div class="footer1-fine"> <div class="footer1-half"> <p>This project was supported by Grant Number 90EV0459 from the Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Family and Youth Services Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. 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