5 Reasons Studies Say You Have to Choose Your Friends Wisely

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class="profile-card d-flex"> <div class="profile-card__photo"> <a href="/us/contributors/amy-morin"> <img src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/profile_teaser_small/public/field_user_blogger_photo/amy_morin_0.jpg?itok=AachSgzM" width="128" height="159" alt="Amy Morin" title="Amy Morin" loading="lazy" /> </a> </div> <div class="profile-card__profile-copy"> <div class="h3 profile-card__profile-name"> <a href="/us/contributors/amy-morin" hreflang="en">Amy Morin</a> </div> <div class="profile_card__blog-title"> <a href="/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do" hreflang="en">What Mentally Strong People Don't Do</a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="blog-entry--header-second"> <h6 class="blog-entry__topic--full text-uppercase-primary-large"> <a href="/us/basics/friends" hreflang="en-us">Friends</a> </h6> <h1 class="blog-entry__title--full"> 5 Reasons Studies Say You Have to Choose Your Friends Wisely </h1> <h2 class="blog-entry__subtitle--full"> Surrounding with the right people has surprisingly far-reaching effects. </h2> <p class="blog-entry__date--full fine-print"> Posted <span class="blog_entry--date">April 10, 2015</span> </p> <div class="pt-social-media blog-entry-divider"> <ul class="share-buttons"> <li> <a title="Share on Facebook" class="facebook-share-button open-dialog" target="_blank" data-lang="en" href="https://facebook.com/dialog/share?app_id=220580041311284&display=page&href=https%3A//www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/5-reasons-studies-say-you-have-choose-your-friends&redirect_uri=https%3A//www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/5-reasons-studies-say-you-have-choose-your-friends" onclick="window.open(this.href,'newWindow','toolbar=no,location=no,status=no,menubar=no,scrollbars=no,resizable=yes,width=640,height=480');return false;"> <div><img border="0" src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/theme-assets/icons/icon-share-round-facebook-md.svg" alt="Share on 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href="https://www.linkedin.com/sharing/share-offsite/?url=https%3A//www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/5-reasons-studies-say-you-have-choose-your-friends" onclick="window.open(this.href,'newWindow','toolbar=no,location=no,status=no,menubar=no,scrollbars=no,resizable=yes,width=640,height=480');return false;"> <div><img border="0" src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/theme-assets/icons/icon-share-round-linkedin-md.svg" alt="Share on LinkedIn" width="37" height="37" /><span class="visually-hidden">Share</span></div> </a> </li> <li><div class="form-item-type-email js-form-item form-item js-form-type-email form-item- js-form-item- form-no-label"> <a title="Share via Email" class="email-share-button open-dialog" data-lang="en" href="mailto:?subject=Psychology%20Today%3A%205%20Reasons%20Studies%20Say%20You%20Have%20to%20Choose%20Your%20Friends%20Wisely&body=Hi%2C%0D%0A%0D%0AI%20thought%20you%27d%20be%20interested%20in%20this%20article%20on%20Psychology%20Today%3A%0D%0A%0D%0A%205%20Reasons%20Studies%20Say%20You%20Have%20to%20Choose%20Your%20Friends%20Wisely%0D%0Ahttps%3A//www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/5-reasons-studies-say-you-have-choose-your-friends%3Feml%0D%0A%0D%0A%0D%0A---%0D%0AFind%20a%20Therapist%3A%20https%3A//www.psychologytoday.com/us&destination=node/1073473"> <div><img border="0" src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/theme-assets/icons/icon-share-round-email-md.svg" alt="Share via Email" width="37" height="37" /><span class="visually-hidden">Email</span></div> </a> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> <div class="blog-entry--body"> <div class="blog-entry--body-first"> <div class="d-none d-xl-block"> </div> </div> <div class="blog-entry--body-second"> <div class="field-name-body"> <div class="insertArea"> <div class="image-article-inline-half"> <div class="insert-inner"> <div class="insert-image"><img alt="Morgan DDL/Shutterstock" height="240" src="https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half/public/field_blog_entry_images/shutterstock_43249750.jpg?itok=OvVv2yDe" title="Morgan DDL/Shutterstock" width="320"></div> <div class="subtext insertArea--origin">Source: Morgan DDL/Shutterstock</div> </div> </div> </div> <p>The company you keep says a lot about you, because your friends have a major influence on how you feel, think, and behave. </p> <p>Here are 5 reasons, then, that you should be careful about who you surround yourself with:</p> <p><strong>1. Strong-willed friends can increase your <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-control" title="Psychology Today looks at self-control" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">self-control</a>.</strong></p> <p>If you struggle to resist temptation, surrounding yourself with people who possess a high degree of self-discipline can help. A <a href="http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/low-on-self-control-surrounding-yourself-with-strong-willed-friends-may-help.html">2013 study</a> published in <em>Psychological Science </em>reports that when people are running low on self-control, they often seek out self-disciplined people to boost their willpower. And since self-control is vital to reaching long-term goals, befriending people with willpower could be a stealth secret to success. Whether you’re tempted to skip a workout, or you’re considering blowing this month’s budget, spending time with a disciplined friend could boost your <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/motivation" title="Psychology Today looks at motivation" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">motivation</a> to maintain healthy habits. </p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-0" data-slot-position="0"></div> <p><strong>2. Having fewer friends increases the likelihood that you’ll take financial risks.</strong> </p> <p>When people lack adequate social interaction, they’re more likely to take bigger risks with money, according to a <a href="http://www.jcr-admin.org/files/pressreleases/011413175046_DuclosRelease.pdf">study</a> published in the June 2013 issue of <em>Journal of Consumer Research</em>. Researchers discovered that people who felt <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/loneliness" title="Psychology Today looks at lonely" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">lonely</a> or rejected were most likely to take the biggest financial risks. Whether you’re dealing with a recent break-up, falling out with family, or a failed business venture, be aware that your emotions could affect your spending habits. Uncomfortable emotions can increase the chances that you’ll behave recklessly, which may have a negative impact on your bank account.</p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-1" data-slot-position="1"></div> <p><strong>3. Having too many <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/social-media" title="Psychology Today looks at social media" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">social media</a> connections increases your <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/stress" title="Psychology Today looks at stress" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">stress</a> level. </strong></p> <p>When it comes to social media, “the more the merrier” may not be the best approach. A report from the <a href="http://www.business-school.ed.ac.uk/about/news-and-press/more-facebook-friends-means-more-stress,-says-business-school-report?a=51582">University of Edinburgh Business School</a> found that more Facebook friends means more stress, and researchers linked an abundance of social media connections to increased <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anxiety" title="Psychology Today looks at anxiety" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">anxiety</a> about offending people. This effect stemmed from people's desire to present a version of themselves that would be acceptable to <em>all</em> their social media contacts. While your college buddies may enjoy publicly discussing that weekend in Vegas, your parents and co-workers may be less than impressed. So before you begin adding people to your social circle, remember the potential downside to having too many friends on Facebook .</p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-2" data-slot-position="2"></div> <p><strong>4. Close friends may be the secret to longevity.</strong> </p> <p>When older adults have close confidants, they’re likely to live longer, according to a <a href="http://jech.bmj.com/content/59/7/574.abstract">2005 study</a> conducted at Australia’s Flinder’s University. After following 1,500 people for 10 years, researchers discovered that people with a large network of friends outlived less-friended counterparts by 22%. Other studies touting the health benefits of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/friends" title="Psychology Today looks at friendship" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">friendship</a> have shown that connections can help ward off <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/depression" title="Psychology Today looks at depression" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">depression</a> and boost immunity. So while it may be tempting to think that friends can be more trouble than they’re worth, we should be aware that having close friends can be one of the best things we can do for our health.</p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-3" data-slot-position="3"></div> <p><strong>5. Friends greatly influence your choices</strong>. </p> <p>A <a href="http://press.uchicago.edu/pressReleases/2014/May/0522JCRlowe.html">2014 study</a> published in the <em>Journal of Consumer Research</em> found that friends often bond by providing one another with the moral support needed to resist a temptation. However, friends also commonly conspire together to enjoy indulgences. Researchers discovered that when it came to resisting temptations—like eating chocolate—sometimes friends were more likely to become partners in <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/law-and-crime" title="Psychology Today looks at crime" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">crime</a> as they decided to indulge together.</p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-4" data-slot-position="4"></div> <p>The reality is that you're likely to start acting more like the people you surround yourself with. When you pick friends who make poor choices, you could get dragged down fast. When you choose people who inspire and challenge you to be better, you'll increase your chances of reaching your goals.</p> <p><strong>Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and the author of <em><a href="http://www.amymorinlcsw.com/book/">13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do</a></em>, a bestselling book that is being translated into more than 20 languages. 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