Parenting | Psychology Today Singapore

<!DOCTYPE html> <html lang="en-SG" dir="ltr" prefix="og: https://ogp.me/ns#"> <head> <title>Parenting | Psychology Today Singapore</title>  <script> dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; </script>  <meta charset="utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html" /> <meta name="description" content="From encouraging schoolwork and sports to modeling values as a child grows (remember, they do as you do, not as you say!) parents exert enormous influence over their children's lives. They are, however, not the only on-the-ground influencers—especially after children enter school and begin interacting with the world at large." /> <link rel="canonical" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/parenting" /> <meta property="og:site_name" content="Psychology Today" /> <meta property="og:url" content="https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/parenting" /> <meta property="og:title" content="Parenting" /> <meta property="og:description" content="From encouraging schoolwork and sports to modeling values as a child grows (remember, they do as you do, not as you say!) parents exert enormous influence over their children's lives. They are, however, not the only on-the-ground influencers—especially after children enter school and begin interacting with the world at large." /> <meta property="og:image" content="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/magazine_384x504/public/magazine/2024-12/2025-01.png.jpg?itok=m79gU9iw" /> <meta property="fb:app_id" content="220580041311284" /> <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0, maximum-scale=1.0, user-scalable=0" /> <meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=edge,chrome=1" /> <meta http-equiv="x-dns-prefetch-control" content="on" /> <meta name="theme-color" content="#191C1F" media="(prefers-color-scheme: dark)" /> <meta name="theme-color" content="#F2F2F2" media="(prefers-color-scheme: light)" /> <meta name="alexaVerifyID" content="ruuD3Gzrr-EaY185APFbxF69Va4" /> <meta name="google-site-verification" content="G-wasBQCXXJoehIaVW5BsO9VYKt4oqmWGo155wSSakQ" /> <meta name="y_key" content="0f29d521db0a2863" /> <meta name="msvalidate.01" content="9AD6650A37790044983CFB6B27D77607" /> <meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-capable" content="yes" /> <meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-title" content="Psych Today" /> <meta name="robots" content="index,follow" /> <script type="application/ld+json">{ "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "WebPage", "dateCreated": "2009-03-17T15:36:36-0400", "dateModified": "2024-12-19T14:06:51-0500", "mainEntityOfPage": "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/parenting", "url": "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/parenting", "name": "Parenting", "alternateName": [ "Parenting" ], "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Parenting" }, "mainEntity": { "@type": "DefinedTerm", "inDefinedTermSet": "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics", "name": "Parenting", "url": "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/parenting" }, "mainContentOfPage": { "@type": "WebPageElement", "name": "A Parent\u0027s Role", "text": "From encouraging schoolwork and sports to modeling values as a child grows (remember, they do as you do, not as you say!) parents exert enormous influence over their children\u0027s lives. They are, however, not the only on-the-ground influencers—especially after children enter school and begin interacting with the world at large.\r\n\r\nMost parents work to give children the best start possible, but it\u0027s also important for parents to recognize that kids come into the world with their own temperaments, personalities, and goals. While parents may want to push their child down a certain path, a parents\u0027 job is to provide an interface with the world that ultimately prepares a child for complete independence and the ability to pursue whatever path they choose.\r\n\r\nIn a rapidly changing world, parenting can be subject to fads and changing styles, and parenting in some privileged circles has become a competitive sport. But the needs of child development as delineated by science remain relatively stable: safety, structure, support, and love.\r\n" }, "relatedLink": [ "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/attachment", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/child-development", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/postpartum", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/pregnancy", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/mid-life", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/conditions/child-abuse", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/conditions/child-neglect", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/conditions/postpartum-disorder", "https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/conditions/separation-anxiety" ], "publisher": { "@type": "Organization", "name": "Psychology Today", "url": "https://www.psychologytoday.com", "logo": "https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/psychology-today-logo-blue-AMP-left-cropped_0.png", "publishingPrinciples": 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<article data-history-node-id="53833" class="center--basic--full center-page"> <div class="content-header d-flex reference-header"> <div class="content-header--text"> <h1 class="reference__title section-title">A Parent's Role</h1> <p class="reference__review-info fine-print"> <a href="/sg/docs/editorial-process" class="reference__review-info-link"> <span class="reference__review-info-icon"></span> <span class="reference__review-info-text">Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff</span> </a> </p> </div> </div> <div> <div class="reference__body"> <div class="field-name-body"> <p>From encouraging schoolwork and sports to modeling values as a child grows (remember, they do as you do, not as you say!) parents exert enormous influence over their children's lives. They are, however, not the only on-the-ground influencers—especially after children enter school and begin interacting with the world at large.</p> <p>Most parents work to give children the best start possible, but it's also important for parents to recognize that kids come into the world with their own temperaments, personalities, and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/motivation" title="Psychology Today looks at goals" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-SG">goals</a>. While parents may want to push their child down a certain path, a parents' job is to provide an interface with the world that ultimately prepares a child for complete independence and the ability to pursue whatever path <em>they </em>choose.</p> <p>In a rapidly changing world, parenting can be subject to fads and changing styles, and parenting in some privileged circles has become a competitive sport. But the needs of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/child-development" title="Psychology Today looks at child development" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-SG">child development</a> as delineated by science remain relatively stable: safety, structure, support, and love.</p> </div> </div> <div class="reference__sections"> <div> <div> <div class="section section--separator"> <div class="h2 section-title"> How to Be a Good Parent </div> <div class="section__body"> <article> <img loading="lazy" src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/manual_crop_1_1_180x180/public/2021-01/shutterstock_1085099156.jpg?itok=PKuWMx0i" width="180" height="180" alt="4 PM production/Shutterstock" title="4 PM production/Shutterstock" /> </article> <p>To parent effectively, it’s not enough to simply avoid the obvious dangers like abuse, neglect, or overindulgence. Indeed, The National Academy of Sciences delineates <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK402020/">four major responsibilities</a> for parents: maintaining children's health and safety, promoting their emotional well-being, instilling social skills, and preparing children intellectually.</p> <p>Numerous studies suggest that the best-adjusted children are reared by parents who find a way to combine warmth and sensitivity with clear behavioral expectations. Parents may find the Four C’s to be a helpful acronym: care (showing acceptance and affection), consistency (maintaining a stable environment), choices (allowing the child to develop autonomy), and consequences (applying repercussions of choices, whether positive or negative).</p> <p><em><strong>To learn more, see <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/parenting">How to Be a Good Parent</a><a href="https://cms.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/parenting/how-be-good-parent"> </a>and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/parenting/supporting-childrens-education.">Supporting Children's Education</a>.</strong></em></p> </div> </div> </div> <div class="pt-ad pt-ad--300x250 d-block d-none d-md-block d-lg-none block" id="block-ad-subpage-300x250-programmatically-rendered"> <div class="pt-ad--container pt-ad-show-text"> <div class="pt-ad--text"> <span>article continues after advertisement</span> </div> <div id="div-gpt-ad-1404853927369-9" class="pt-ad--content"> <script type="text/javascript"> if (!window.ptAdSlots || window.ptAdSlots.length === 0) { window.ptAdSlots = []; } window.ptAdSlots.push('div-gpt-ad-1404853927369-9') </script> </div> </div> </div> <div> <div class="section section--separator"> <div class="h2 section-title"> What Are Unhealthy Parenting Styles? </div> <div class="section__body"> <article> <img loading="lazy" src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/manual_crop_1_1_180x180/public/2021-01/shutterstock_283667042.jpg?itok=ZFyOjHT2" width="180" height="180" alt="Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock" title="Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock" /> </article> <p>Not every parenting style is in the child's best interest. There is such a thing as overparenting, which can cripple children as they move into adulthood and render them unable to cope with the merest setbacks.</p> <p>Two well-known examples of overparenting styles include "helicopter parenting," in which children are excessively monitored and kept out of harm's way, and "snowplow parenting," in which potential obstacles are removed from a child's path. Both can negatively impact a child's later independence, mental health, and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/self-esteem" title="Psychology Today looks at self-esteem" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-SG">self-esteem</a>. </p> <p>Of course, there is such a thing as too-little parenting, too, and research establishes that lack of parental engagement often leads to poor behavioral outcomes in children. This may be, in part, because it encourages the young to be too reliant on peer culture. Ironically, overly harsh or authoritarian styles of parenting can have the same effect.</p> <p>Ultimately, parents should strive to be loving but firm, while allowing children enough space to develop their own interests, explore independence, and experience failure.</p> <p><strong><em>To learn more, see <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/parenting/dysfunctional-parenting">Dysfunctional Parenting </a>and <a class="not-active" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/parenting/parental-burnout-and-stress" title="Parental Burnout and Stress (Published)">Parental Burnout and Stress.</a></em></strong></p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="center--next_page_link d-flex"> <a href="/sg/basics/parenting/how-be-good-parent" title="How to Be a Good Parent">Next: How to Be a Good Parent</a> <div class="center--next_page_arrow"></div> </div> <div class="views-element-container"><div class="js-view-dom-id-f83a87ec251f27870d5d48f73da3826d91f73ce6c414788de431339186f30a59"> <section class="basics--essential-reads"> <div class="h2 page-section-header">Essential Reads</div> <div class="teaser--card-inset-details--row"> <article class="teaser--card-inset-details blog_entry--teaser--card-inset-details" data-nid="5030902"> <div class="card-inset-details__image"> <a href="/sg/blog/creating-2-pink-lines/202502/the-price-tag-of-infertility-treatment"><img loading="lazy" src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/manual_crop_3_2_600x400/public/field_blog_entry_images/2025-02/shutterstock_381276562.jpg?itok=6Cq7Jgfm" width="600" height="400" alt="" title="Lightspring/ Shutterstock" /> </a> </div> <div class="card-inset-details__body"> <div class="card-inset-details__title"> <a href="/sg/blog/creating-2-pink-lines/202502/the-price-tag-of-infertility-treatment" title="The Price Tag of Infertility Treatment"> The Price Tag of Infertility Treatment </a> </div> <div class="card-inset-details__teaser-text"> Infertility treatment is not just a medical challenge. Economic privilege often dictates who gets to pursue parenthood. </div> </div> </article> <article class="teaser--card-inset-details blog_entry--teaser--card-inset-details" data-nid="5031117"> <div class="card-inset-details__image"> <a href="/sg/blog/a-deep-dive-into-narratives/202502/how-to-prevent-unhealthy-narratives-in-your-child"><img loading="lazy" src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/manual_crop_3_2_600x400/public/field_blog_entry_images/2025-02/pexels-ketut-subiyanto-4473774.jpg?itok=yG67iHXW" width="600" height="400" alt="" title="Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels" /> </a> </div> <div class="card-inset-details__body"> <div class="card-inset-details__title"> <a href="/sg/blog/a-deep-dive-into-narratives/202502/how-to-prevent-unhealthy-narratives-in-your-child" title="How To Prevent Unhealthy Narratives in Your Child"> How To Prevent Unhealthy Narratives in Your Child </a> </div> <div class="card-inset-details__teaser-text"> The recipe for undoing an unhealthy narrative isn’t what you might guess, but it’s not hard. Here are specific strategies to help kids form lasting, healthy narratives. </div> </div> </article> </div> <div class="teaser--card-inset-details--row"> <article class="teaser--card-inset-details blog_entry--teaser--card-inset-details" data-nid="5031196"> <div class="card-inset-details__image"> <a href="/sg/blog/social-instincts/202502/the-3-most-harmful-parenting-styles-according-to-research"><img loading="lazy" src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/manual_crop_3_2_600x400/public/teaser_image/blog_entry/2025-02/a-narcissistic-mother-and-her-child-4x3.jpg?itok=1XyxgwLR" width="600" height="400" alt="" title="Bethany Beck / Unsplash" /> </a> </div> <div class="card-inset-details__body"> <div class="card-inset-details__title"> <a href="/sg/blog/social-instincts/202502/the-3-most-harmful-parenting-styles-according-to-research" title="The 3 Most Harmful Parenting Styles, According to Research"> The 3 Most Harmful Parenting Styles, According to Research </a> </div> <div class="card-inset-details__teaser-text"> Want to raise happy and healthy kids? 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