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aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M256 416C247.812 416 239.62 412.875 233.38 406.625L41.38 214.625C28.88 202.125 28.88 181.875 41.38 169.375C53.88 156.875 74.13 156.875 86.63 169.375L256 338.8L425.4 169.4C437.9 156.9 458.15 156.9 470.65 169.4C483.15 181.9 483.15 202.15 470.65 214.65L278.65 406.65C272.4 412.9 264.2 416 256 416Z"></path></svg></span></button></div><div class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-container "><ul class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-menu" id="header_sub_section_sport"><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/sport/gaelic-games" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Gaelic Games</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/sport/rugby" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Rugby</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/sport/soccer" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Soccer</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/sport/golf" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Golf</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/sport/racing" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Racing</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/sport/athletics" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Athletics</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/sport/boxing" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Boxing</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/sport/cycling" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Cycling</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/sport/hockey" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Hockey</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/sport/tennis" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Tennis</a></li></ul></div></li><li class="section-item" data-testid="nav-chain-section-item"><div data-testid="nav-chain-section-item-subsection" class="c-stack b-header-nav-chain__subsection-anchor subsection-anchor " data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link" href="/your-money" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Your Money</a><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="header_sub_section_your-money" aria-label="Show Your Money sub sections" class="c-button c-button--medium c-button--default submenu-caret" type="button"><span><svg class="c-icon" width="20" height="20" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M256 416C247.812 416 239.62 412.875 233.38 406.625L41.38 214.625C28.88 202.125 28.88 181.875 41.38 169.375C53.88 156.875 74.13 156.875 86.63 169.375L256 338.8L425.4 169.4C437.9 156.9 458.15 156.9 470.65 169.4C483.15 181.9 483.15 202.15 470.65 214.65L278.65 406.65C272.4 412.9 264.2 416 256 416Z"></path></svg></span></button></div><div class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-container "><ul class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-menu" id="header_sub_section_your-money"><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/tags/pricewatch" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Pricewatch</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/budget/" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Budget 2025</a></li></ul></div></li><li class="section-item" data-testid="nav-chain-section-item"><div data-testid="nav-chain-section-item-subsection" class="c-stack b-header-nav-chain__subsection-anchor subsection-anchor " data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link" href="/crime-law" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Crime & Law</a><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="header_sub_section_crime-law" aria-label="Show Crime & Law sub sections" class="c-button c-button--medium c-button--default submenu-caret" type="button"><span><svg class="c-icon" width="20" height="20" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M256 416C247.812 416 239.62 412.875 233.38 406.625L41.38 214.625C28.88 202.125 28.88 181.875 41.38 169.375C53.88 156.875 74.13 156.875 86.63 169.375L256 338.8L425.4 169.4C437.9 156.9 458.15 156.9 470.65 169.4C483.15 181.9 483.15 202.15 470.65 214.65L278.65 406.65C272.4 412.9 264.2 416 256 416Z"></path></svg></span></button></div><div class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-container "><ul class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-menu" id="header_sub_section_crime-law"><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/crime-law/courts" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Courts</a></li></ul></div></li><li class="section-item" data-testid="nav-chain-section-item"><div data-testid="nav-chain-section-item-subsection" class="c-stack b-header-nav-chain__subsection-anchor subsection-anchor " data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link" href="/property" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Property</a><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="header_sub_section_property" aria-label="Show Property sub sections" class="c-button c-button--medium c-button--default submenu-caret" type="button"><span><svg class="c-icon" width="20" height="20" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M256 416C247.812 416 239.62 412.875 233.38 406.625L41.38 214.625C28.88 202.125 28.88 181.875 41.38 169.375C53.88 156.875 74.13 156.875 86.63 169.375L256 338.8L425.4 169.4C437.9 156.9 458.15 156.9 470.65 169.4C483.15 181.9 483.15 202.15 470.65 214.65L278.65 406.65C272.4 412.9 264.2 416 256 416Z"></path></svg></span></button></div><div class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-container "><ul class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-menu" id="header_sub_section_property"><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/property/residential" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Residential</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/property/commercial-property" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Commercial Property</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/property/interiors" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Interiors</a></li></ul></div></li><li class="section-item" data-testid="nav-chain-section-item"><div data-testid="nav-chain-section-item-subsection" class="c-stack b-header-nav-chain__subsection-anchor subsection-anchor " data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link" href="/food" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Food</a><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="header_sub_section_food" aria-label="Show Food sub sections" class="c-button c-button--medium c-button--default submenu-caret" type="button"><span><svg class="c-icon" width="20" height="20" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M256 416C247.812 416 239.62 412.875 233.38 406.625L41.38 214.625C28.88 202.125 28.88 181.875 41.38 169.375C53.88 156.875 74.13 156.875 86.63 169.375L256 338.8L425.4 169.4C437.9 156.9 458.15 156.9 470.65 169.4C483.15 181.9 483.15 202.15 470.65 214.65L278.65 406.65C272.4 412.9 264.2 416 256 416Z"></path></svg></span></button></div><div class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-container "><ul class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-menu" id="header_sub_section_food"><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/food/drink" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Drink</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/food/recipes" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Recipes</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/food/restaurants" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Restaurants</a></li></ul></div></li><li class="section-item" data-testid="nav-chain-section-item"><div data-testid="nav-chain-section-item-subsection" class="c-stack b-header-nav-chain__subsection-anchor subsection-anchor " data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link" href="/health" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Health</a><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="header_sub_section_health" aria-label="Show Health sub sections" class="c-button c-button--medium c-button--default submenu-caret" type="button"><span><svg class="c-icon" width="20" height="20" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M256 416C247.812 416 239.62 412.875 233.38 406.625L41.38 214.625C28.88 202.125 28.88 181.875 41.38 169.375C53.88 156.875 74.13 156.875 86.63 169.375L256 338.8L425.4 169.4C437.9 156.9 458.15 156.9 470.65 169.4C483.15 181.9 483.15 202.15 470.65 214.65L278.65 406.65C272.4 412.9 264.2 416 256 416Z"></path></svg></span></button></div><div class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-container "><ul class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-menu" id="header_sub_section_health"><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/health/your-family" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Your Family</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/health/your-fitness" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Your Fitness</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/health/your-wellness" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Your Wellness</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/health/your-fitness/get-running" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Get Running</a></li></ul></div></li><li class="section-item" data-testid="nav-chain-section-item"><div data-testid="nav-chain-section-item-subsection" class="c-stack b-header-nav-chain__subsection-anchor subsection-anchor " data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link" href="/life-style" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Life & Style</a><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="header_sub_section_life-style" aria-label="Show Life & Style sub sections" class="c-button c-button--medium c-button--default submenu-caret" type="button"><span><svg class="c-icon" width="20" height="20" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M256 416C247.812 416 239.62 412.875 233.38 406.625L41.38 214.625C28.88 202.125 28.88 181.875 41.38 169.375C53.88 156.875 74.13 156.875 86.63 169.375L256 338.8L425.4 169.4C437.9 156.9 458.15 156.9 470.65 169.4C483.15 181.9 483.15 202.15 470.65 214.65L278.65 406.65C272.4 412.9 264.2 416 256 416Z"></path></svg></span></button></div><div class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-container "><ul class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-menu" id="header_sub_section_life-style"><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/life-style/fashion" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Fashion</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/tags/beauty/" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Beauty</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/life-style/fine-art-antiques" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Fine Art & Antiques</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/life-style/gardening" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Gardening</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/life-style/people" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">People</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/life-style/travel" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Travel</a></li></ul></div></li><li class="section-item" data-testid="nav-chain-section-item"><div data-testid="nav-chain-section-item-subsection" class="c-stack b-header-nav-chain__subsection-anchor subsection-anchor " data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link" href="/culture" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Culture</a><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="header_sub_section_culture" aria-label="Show Culture sub sections" class="c-button c-button--medium c-button--default submenu-caret" type="button"><span><svg class="c-icon" width="20" height="20" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M256 416C247.812 416 239.62 412.875 233.38 406.625L41.38 214.625C28.88 202.125 28.88 181.875 41.38 169.375C53.88 156.875 74.13 156.875 86.63 169.375L256 338.8L425.4 169.4C437.9 156.9 458.15 156.9 470.65 169.4C483.15 181.9 483.15 202.15 470.65 214.65L278.65 406.65C272.4 412.9 264.2 416 256 416Z"></path></svg></span></button></div><div class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-container "><ul class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-menu" id="header_sub_section_culture"><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/culture/art" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Art</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/culture/books" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Books</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/culture/film" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Film</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/culture/music" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Music</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/culture/stage" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Stage</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/culture/tv-radio" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">TV & Radio</a></li></ul></div></li><li class="section-item" data-testid="nav-chain-section-item"><div data-testid="nav-chain-section-item-subsection" class="c-stack b-header-nav-chain__subsection-anchor subsection-anchor " data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link" href="/environment" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Environment</a><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="header_sub_section_environment" aria-label="Show Environment sub sections" class="c-button c-button--medium c-button--default submenu-caret" type="button"><span><svg class="c-icon" width="20" height="20" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M256 416C247.812 416 239.62 412.875 233.38 406.625L41.38 214.625C28.88 202.125 28.88 181.875 41.38 169.375C53.88 156.875 74.13 156.875 86.63 169.375L256 338.8L425.4 169.4C437.9 156.9 458.15 156.9 470.65 169.4C483.15 181.9 483.15 202.15 470.65 214.65L278.65 406.65C272.4 412.9 264.2 416 256 416Z"></path></svg></span></button></div><div class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-container "><ul class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-menu" id="header_sub_section_environment"><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/environment/climate-crisis" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Climate Crisis</a></li></ul></div></li><li class="section-item" data-testid="nav-chain-section-item"><div data-testid="nav-chain-section-item-subsection" class="c-stack b-header-nav-chain__subsection-anchor subsection-anchor " data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link" href="/technology" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Technology</a><button aria-expanded="false" aria-controls="header_sub_section_technology" aria-label="Show Technology sub sections" class="c-button c-button--medium c-button--default submenu-caret" type="button"><span><svg class="c-icon" width="20" height="20" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M256 416C247.812 416 239.62 412.875 233.38 406.625L41.38 214.625C28.88 202.125 28.88 181.875 41.38 169.375C53.88 156.875 74.13 156.875 86.63 169.375L256 338.8L425.4 169.4C437.9 156.9 458.15 156.9 470.65 169.4C483.15 181.9 483.15 202.15 470.65 214.65L278.65 406.65C272.4 412.9 264.2 416 256 416Z"></path></svg></span></button></div><div class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-container "><ul class="b-header-nav-chain__subsection-menu" id="header_sub_section_technology"><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/technology/big-tech" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Big Tech</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/technology/consumer-tech" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Consumer Tech</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/technology/data-security" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Data & Security</a></li><li class="subsection-item" data-testid="nav-chain-subsection-item"><a class="c-link" href="/technology/gaming" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Gaming</a></li></ul></div></li><li class="section-item" data-testid="nav-chain-section-item"><div data-testid="nav-chain-section-item-subsection" class="c-stack b-header-nav-chain__subsection-anchor subsection-anchor " data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link" href="/science" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1">Science</a><button 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id="lazy_50862" class="lazy_container"><div class="b-flex-chain"><div class="b-flex-chain__grid-container b-flex-chain__grid-container__12 gap" style="--c-stack-gap:var(--global-spacing-0)"><div class="c-stack grid-item " data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><div class="c-grid b-it-overline-block"><div class="c-stack wrap" data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="start" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap" style="--c-stack-gap:0"><span class="c-pill c-it-subscriber-pill b-it-overline-block__subscriber-pill">Subscriber Only</span><span class="c-stack b-it-overline-block__text" data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="center" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="wrap"><a class="c-link false" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/">Ross O'Carroll-Kelly</a></span></div></div><h1 class="b-it-headline">‘Are you aware that your children are Protestants now?’</h1></div></div></div></div><div class="b-it-podcast-subscribe"><p class="c-paragraph">Listen on</p><div class="b-it-podcast-subscribe__items podcastItems"><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/ross-ocarroll-kelly/id1005100505?mt=2" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="b-it-podcast-subscribe__link">Apple<span class="sr-only">(Opens in new window)</span></a><a href="https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5hY2FzdC5jb20vcHVibGljL3Nob3dzLzhlMjJiMTAwLTA3ODktNWYyMy1iNDI1LTgxZjQ2ZGQxNWUzNg" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="b-it-podcast-subscribe__link">Google<span class="sr-only">(Opens in new window)</span></a><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/6kTMSMIFcdnj5Oai4kiTMJ" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="b-it-podcast-subscribe__link">Spotify<span class="sr-only">(Opens in new window)</span></a></div></div></div><div class="c-grid b-it-right-rail-advanced__rail-container"><div class="c-stack b-it-right-rail-advanced__main-interior-item " data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><div class="c-stack b-it-right-rail-advanced__main-interior-item-1" data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><div class="c-grid c-it-audio-player "><img alt="" class="c-image audio_image" src="https://assets.pippa.io/shows/61409402444fd951a7f27e60/1673383397461-8f5dc76da6409974bd352dc3e7b7a299.jpeg"/><h2 class="c-heading">At a borbecue in Christian’s gaff the cat is thrown out of the bag ... and now I’m in deep merde</h2><div class="c-it-audio-player__audio"><div class="c-it-audio-player__placeholder-wrapper"><div><div class="c-stack" data-style-direction="horizontal" 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b-it-lead-art__wrapper"><figure class="c-media-item b-it-lead-art"><div class="b-it-lead-art__image-wrapper" style="aspect-ratio:1024 / 2750"><img data-chromatic="ignore" alt="She goes, 'Didn’t you know that Ross had them baptised as Protestants to get them into their new school?' Illustration: Alan Clarke" class="c-image b-it-lead-art__btn-full-screen-open" loading="eager" src="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/MHK2O7KXVJEURGYA4DU7MUSORU.jpg?auth=d108b418cf53b4be2a9940a2ee3582ae5a4016f6df33f7c644f98b8c3a6bcd90&smart=true&width=1024&height=2750" srcSet="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/MHK2O7KXVJEURGYA4DU7MUSORU.jpg?auth=d108b418cf53b4be2a9940a2ee3582ae5a4016f6df33f7c644f98b8c3a6bcd90&smart=true&width=400&height=1074 400w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/MHK2O7KXVJEURGYA4DU7MUSORU.jpg?auth=d108b418cf53b4be2a9940a2ee3582ae5a4016f6df33f7c644f98b8c3a6bcd90&smart=true&width=440&height=1181 440w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/MHK2O7KXVJEURGYA4DU7MUSORU.jpg?auth=d108b418cf53b4be2a9940a2ee3582ae5a4016f6df33f7c644f98b8c3a6bcd90&smart=true&width=800&height=2148 800w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/MHK2O7KXVJEURGYA4DU7MUSORU.jpg?auth=d108b418cf53b4be2a9940a2ee3582ae5a4016f6df33f7c644f98b8c3a6bcd90&smart=true&width=1024&height=2750 1024w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/MHK2O7KXVJEURGYA4DU7MUSORU.jpg?auth=d108b418cf53b4be2a9940a2ee3582ae5a4016f6df33f7c644f98b8c3a6bcd90&smart=true&width=1440&height=3867 1440w" sizes="(max-width: 400px) 400px, (max-width: 440px) 440px, (max-width: 800px) 800px, (max-width: 1024px) 1024px, (min-width: 1025px) 1440px" width="1024" height="2750"/></div><figcaption class="c-media-item__fig-caption"><span class="c-media-item__caption">She goes, 'Didn’t you know that Ross had them baptised as Protestants to get them into their new school?' Illustration: Alan Clarke </span></figcaption></figure></div><div class="c-stack b-it-byline-block" data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><div class="c-stack b-it-byline-block__text" data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="start" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><div class="author"><span class="author-name"><a class="c-link" href="/author/ross-ocarroll-kelly/">Ross O'Carroll-Kelly</a></span></div><div class="b-it-byline-block__date">Sat Aug 10 2024 - 05:00</div></div></div><div class="c-grid b-it-social-share-block b-it-social-share-block__space-above"><div class="c-stack b-it-social-share-block__container" data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="start" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><ul class="c-stack b-it-social-share-block__main-section 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16h48v96zm48 72c-13.25 0-24-10.75-24-24 0-13.26 10.75-24 24-24s24 10.74 24 24c0 13.25-10.75 24-24 24z"></path></svg></a></li></ul></div></div></li></ul></div></div><article class="b-it-article-body article-body-wrapper article-sub-wrapper"><p class="c-paragraph">So — yeah, no — Oisínn has landed himself an unbelievably cushy job. As a matter of fact, I have to ask him to repeat himself because <a href="https://www.irishtimes.com/author/ross-ocarroll-kelly/" target="_blank">I presume </a>I’ve, like, <i>misheard</i> him?</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">He goes, “Yeah, I’m, like, repatriating yachts. As in, like, <a href="https://www.irishtimes.com/tags/magazine/" target="_blank">rich people </a>take them to the Caribbean or South America, then they can’t be orsed bringing them back again — and that’s where I step in.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “So people pay you to sail their — literally — boats for them?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">“Yeah, no,” he goes, “the last time I did it, it was for a tech billionaire who’d taken his sixty-footer around Cape Horn.”</p><div id="fusion-static-enter:html-block-f0frCB4hReP77YJ-3-5-0" style="display:none" data-fusion-component="html-block-f0frCB4hReP77YJ-3-5-0"></div><div><div style="border-block-start: 4px solid var(--global-neutral-2);font-family:var(--font-family-secondary);font-weight: var(--c-heading-font-weight);font-size:1.1rem; padding-top:0.8rem;margin-top:2rem;">READ MORE</div></div><div id="fusion-static-exit:html-block-f0frCB4hReP77YJ-3-5-0" style="display:none" data-fusion-component="html-block-f0frCB4hReP77YJ-3-5-0"></div><div class="c-grid b-top-table-list"><div class="c-grid b-top-table-list-small-container b-top-table-list-small-container--2"><article class="c-grid b-top-table-list-small b-top-table-list-small--right"><h2 class="c-heading"><a class="c-link" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/sorcha-im-wondering-is-climate-justice-maybe-a-bit-above-santas-pay-grade/">‘Sorcha, I’m wondering is climate justice maybe a bit above Santa’s pay grade?’</a></h2><a class="c-link" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/sorcha-im-wondering-is-climate-justice-maybe-a-bit-above-santas-pay-grade/" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1"><figure class="c-media-item"><img data-chromatic="ignore" alt="‘Sorcha, I’m wondering is climate justice maybe a bit above Santa’s pay grade?’" class="c-image" loading="lazy" src="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=800&height=533" srcSet="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=400&height=266 400w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=600&height=399 600w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=800&height=533 800w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=1200&height=799 1200w" width="800" height="533"/></figure></a><hr class="c-divider"/></article><article class="c-grid b-top-table-list-small b-top-table-list-small--right"><h2 class="c-heading"><a class="c-link" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/sorcha-goes-i-make-no-apologies-for-saying-it-honor-you-are-a-danger-to-democracy/">Sorcha goes, ‘I make no apologies for saying it, Honor. You are a danger to democracy’ </a></h2><a class="c-link" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/sorcha-goes-i-make-no-apologies-for-saying-it-honor-you-are-a-danger-to-democracy/" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1"><figure class="c-media-item"><img data-chromatic="ignore" alt="Sorcha goes, ‘I make no apologies for saying it, Honor. You are a danger to democracy’ " class="c-image" loading="lazy" src="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/3GAWAJSHXJCJTMLZBVZZPFHE3M.jpg?focal=1217%2C633&auth=939f5f1729cf574b098f7dcf7243dd43d4887394f9f9096955a1b33770d3f2f3&width=800&height=533" srcSet="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/3GAWAJSHXJCJTMLZBVZZPFHE3M.jpg?focal=1217%2C633&auth=939f5f1729cf574b098f7dcf7243dd43d4887394f9f9096955a1b33770d3f2f3&width=400&height=266 400w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/3GAWAJSHXJCJTMLZBVZZPFHE3M.jpg?focal=1217%2C633&auth=939f5f1729cf574b098f7dcf7243dd43d4887394f9f9096955a1b33770d3f2f3&width=600&height=399 600w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/3GAWAJSHXJCJTMLZBVZZPFHE3M.jpg?focal=1217%2C633&auth=939f5f1729cf574b098f7dcf7243dd43d4887394f9f9096955a1b33770d3f2f3&width=800&height=533 800w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/3GAWAJSHXJCJTMLZBVZZPFHE3M.jpg?focal=1217%2C633&auth=939f5f1729cf574b098f7dcf7243dd43d4887394f9f9096955a1b33770d3f2f3&width=1200&height=799 1200w" width="800" height="533"/></figure></a><hr class="c-divider"/></article><article class="c-grid b-top-table-list-small b-top-table-list-small--right"><h2 class="c-heading"><a class="c-link" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/when-they-see-the-copper-the-triplets-think-its-about-them-gobbing-on-the-cauliflower-and-turmeric-latte-crowd-which-im-not-even-sure-is-a-crime/">‘When they see the copper, the triplets think it’s about them gobbing on the cauliflower and turmeric latte crowd - which I’m not even sure is a crime’</a></h2><a class="c-link" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/when-they-see-the-copper-the-triplets-think-its-about-them-gobbing-on-the-cauliflower-and-turmeric-latte-crowd-which-im-not-even-sure-is-a-crime/" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1"><figure class="c-media-item"><img data-chromatic="ignore" alt="‘When they see the copper, the triplets think it’s about them gobbing on the cauliflower and turmeric latte crowd - which I’m not even sure is a crime’" class="c-image" loading="lazy" src="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=800&height=533" srcSet="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=400&height=266 400w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=600&height=399 600w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=800&height=533 800w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=1200&height=799 1200w" width="800" height="533"/></figure></a><hr class="c-divider"/></article><article class="c-grid b-top-table-list-small b-top-table-list-small--right"><h2 class="c-heading"><a class="c-link" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/weve-no-idea-what-caused-the-fire-and-were-sticking-to-that-story/">‘We’ve no idea what caused the fire. And we’re sticking to that story’</a></h2><a class="c-link" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/weve-no-idea-what-caused-the-fire-and-were-sticking-to-that-story/" aria-hidden="true" tabindex="-1"><figure class="c-media-item"><img data-chromatic="ignore" alt="‘We’ve no idea what caused the fire. And we’re sticking to that story’" class="c-image" loading="lazy" src="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=800&height=533" srcSet="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=400&height=266 400w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=600&height=399 600w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=800&height=533 800w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg?focal=1302%2C975&auth=ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691&width=1200&height=799 1200w" width="800" height="533"/></figure></a><hr class="c-divider"/></article></div></div><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I end up nearly spraying him with a mouthful of the old Dutch master.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">He’s like, “What’s wrong?”</p><div id="arcad-feature-f0fA5zOjVt7q5My-3-5-3-19b203d76474e3" class="default__StyledAdUnit-sc-1moicrg-0 gKEhzJ arcad-feature"><div class="arcad-container width_100" style="max-width:550px"><div id="arcad_f0fA5zOjVt7q5My-3-5-3-19b203d76474e3" class="arcad ad-550x250"></div></div></div><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “You said Cape. It sounded funny, that’s all. It <i>is</i> an actual place, is it?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">“Yes, it’s an actual place,” he goes. “I got flown first class to Santiago, then he paid me thirty K’s to bring the thing home. You should come with me sometime.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">“In terms of?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">“Well, I’m going to Borbados next week. Bringing a boat back for a certain captain of industry from Cork. I always ask one or two people to come with me for the company.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">“Yeah, no, I’d love to, dude, but I don’t think Sorcha would be happy.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">This is us, by the way, at a borbecue in Christian’s gaff. Him and Lauren are sort of, like, making it official that they’re back together again.</p><div id="arcad-feature-f0fq2HIufcDr5Mt-3-5-4-f00fc4c8082d7" class="default__StyledAdUnit-sc-1moicrg-0 gKEhzJ arcad-feature"><div class="arcad-container width_100" style="max-width:550px"><div id="arcad_f0fq2HIufcDr5Mt-3-5-4-f00fc4c8082d7" class="arcad ad-550x250"></div></div></div><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Hennessy tips over to us, a big dinosaur turd of a Cohiba burning in the V of his fingers. He goes, “So, what do you think of, well, you know?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I have to be careful here. Lauren is his daughter after all.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “Yeah, no, I’m saying fair focks. The boys are obviously delighted to have their old man back living in the gaff.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I actually told him he was making the biggest mistake of his life. But it was like when he had the man bun during the first Covid lockdown — there was no talking to him.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Hennessy goes, “You must be worried, are you?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “Me? Why would I be worried?”</p><div id="arcad-feature-f0f8wZfBvAILa7G-3-5-5-d6282cfa8a7d" class="default__StyledAdUnit-sc-1moicrg-0 gKEhzJ arcad-feature"><div class="arcad-container width_100" style="max-width:550px"><div id="arcad_f0f8wZfBvAILa7G-3-5-5-d6282cfa8a7d" class="arcad ad-550x250"></div></div></div><p class="c-paragraph paywall">He’s like, “Well, you know whenever Christian and Lauren get back together, she always makes a point of asking him what all of his friends said about her while they were broken up.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Oisínn goes, “She’ll have absolutely grilled him — no offence, Hennessy.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Hennessy’s there, “None taken.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Oisínn’s like, “They’ll have done that whole 100 per cent honesty thing.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “Not this time” and I’m looking at Christian across the gorden, flipping his burgers. “He said she could waterboard him and he wouldn’t tell her any of the shit I said.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Hennessy laughs and goes, “Yeah, right!”</p><div id="arcad-feature-f0fNnztKDMLLaTe-3-5-6-1a29fca26197c9" class="default__StyledAdUnit-sc-1moicrg-0 gKEhzJ arcad-feature"><div class="arcad-container width_100" style="max-width:550px"><div id="arcad_f0fNnztKDMLLaTe-3-5-6-1a29fca26197c9" class="arcad ad-550x250"></div></div></div><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Twenty minutes later, JP and Fionn have joined us and the goys are all keen to know what I think of the whole Andy Farrell taking a sabbatical thing. I’m in the middle of giving my analysis when Lauren is suddenly standing about 10ft away from me, staring at me like I’m something nasty that won’t flush.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">She goes, “Toxic, am I?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “Excuse me?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">She’s like, “I heard you said I was toxic.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I look at Christian and he looks away. Seriously, the dude has a mouth the size of the Port Tunnel.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “I’m not sure if those were my exact ...”</p><div id="arcad-feature-f0fn39YE5eOLals-3-5-7-13bb48b673b4ad" class="default__StyledAdUnit-sc-1moicrg-0 gKEhzJ arcad-feature"><div class="arcad-container width_100" style="max-width:550px"><div id="arcad_f0fn39YE5eOLals-3-5-7-13bb48b673b4ad" class="arcad ad-550x250"></div></div></div><p class="c-paragraph paywall">She goes, “Christian told me everything. We have 100 per cent honesty in our marriage.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “What I actually said was that your <i>relationship</i> was toxic? Rather than you yourself personally.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">By now every conversation in the gorden has stopped and all I can hear is the sound of Hennessy chuckling to himself.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Lauren goes, “What has Christian ever got out of being friends with you?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m like, “A hell of a lot, I would have said. Storting with a Leinster Schools Senior Cup medal.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">She’s there, “Yeah, whatever the fock that’s worth.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">There’s, like, a collective gasp. You don’t just throw out a line like that and expect there to be zero reaction. Not in Booterstown.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Sorcha tips over and goes, “Okay, can we all maybe take a breath here?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">She didn’t miss a single match back in the day, bear in mind.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Lauren goes, “Carrying on like he’s some kind of expert on marriage. He has some focking nerve.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Of course, Sorcha’s not going to just stand there and listen to Lauren diss our marriage like that.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">She goes, “Yes, we’ve had problems over the years, Lauren. But we decided to stay together and try to work them out — unlike some people I could mention.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m thinking, steady on, Sorcha, because I can already sense that events are about to spiral out of my control. That’s an experience thing.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">“Is that right?” Lauren goes.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Sorcha’s there, “Yes, that’s right, Lauren.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">And that’s when Lauren says it.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">She’s like, “Are you aware that your children are Protestants now?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Sorcha’s there, “Excuse me?” and she turns her head and looks at Brian, Johnny and Leo. I don’t know what she’s expecting to see.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “Let’s all just go back to enjoying this delicious borbecue. Lauren, did you get the salads from Bornhill Stores?” Except she smells blood in the water now.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">She goes, “Didn’t you know that Ross had them baptised as Protestants to get them into their new school?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Sorcha looks at me, her mouth flapping open and closed like a landed trout. She goes, “Ross, what’s she talking about?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I can’t lie to the girl.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “I’ve literally no idea”, having a crack at it anyway. “Although she’s been skulling the Kir Royales for the last three hours just to give you some context here.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Lauren goes, “Christian told me everything. He took them to the church and he had them baptised. Oh, and he got baptised as well. Your husband is a Protestant too.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">Sorcha looks me up and down — like she’s looking for some physical change in me that she’s somehow missed.</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “For what it’s worth, Sorcha, I don’t <i>feel</i> any different?”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">She goes, “Ross, my mom is a minister for the Eucharist” even though I don’t really know what point she’s trying to make. “I can’t believe you did this.”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">I’m there, “Sorcha ... ”</p><p class="c-paragraph paywall">But she’s like, “Come on, boys, we’re leaving. Don’t come home tonight, Ross.”</p></article><div class="c-stack b-author-bio" data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><div class="c-stack b-author-bio__author" data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><img data-chromatic="ignore" alt="Ross O'Carroll-Kelly" class="c-image" loading="lazy" src="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/https%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Farc-authors%2Firishtimes%2Fae88b965-43f0-4844-8f25-cd93be8ea9eb.png?smart=true&auth=a7f82c79c21dbf8dae2dc8d82177c7652492ca171ebcd4c9e57ededf184299d4&width=100&height=100" srcSet="https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/https%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Farc-authors%2Firishtimes%2Fae88b965-43f0-4844-8f25-cd93be8ea9eb.png?smart=true&auth=a7f82c79c21dbf8dae2dc8d82177c7652492ca171ebcd4c9e57ededf184299d4&width=100&height=100 100w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/https%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Farc-authors%2Firishtimes%2Fae88b965-43f0-4844-8f25-cd93be8ea9eb.png?smart=true&auth=a7f82c79c21dbf8dae2dc8d82177c7652492ca171ebcd4c9e57ededf184299d4&width=200&height=200 200w, https://www.irishtimes.com/resizer/v2/https%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Farc-authors%2Firishtimes%2Fae88b965-43f0-4844-8f25-cd93be8ea9eb.png?smart=true&auth=a7f82c79c21dbf8dae2dc8d82177c7652492ca171ebcd4c9e57ededf184299d4&width=400&height=400 400w" width="100" height="100"/><div class="c-stack" data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><a class="c-link b-author-bio__author-name-link" href="/author/ross-ocarroll-kelly/"><h2 class="c-heading b-author-bio__author-name">Ross O'Carroll-Kelly</h2></a><p class="c-paragraph b-author-bio__author-description">Ross O’Carroll-Kelly was captain of the Castlerock College team that won the Leinster Schools Senior Cup in 1999. It’s rare that a day goes by when he doesn’t mention it</p><div class="c-stack b-author-bio__social-link-wrapper" data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="wrap"><a aria-label="Send an email to Ross O'Carroll-Kelly" class="c-link b-author-bio__social-link" href="mailto:magazine@irishtimes.com" rel="noreferrer" target="_blank"><svg class="c-icon" width="48" height="48" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M502.3 190.8c3.9-3.1 9.7-.2 9.7 4.7V400c0 26.5-21.5 48-48 48H48c-26.5 0-48-21.5-48-48V195.6c0-5 5.7-7.8 9.7-4.7 22.4 17.4 52.1 39.5 154.1 113.6 21.1 15.4 56.7 47.8 92.2 47.6 35.7.3 72-32.8 92.3-47.6 102-74.1 131.6-96.3 154-113.7zM256 320c23.2.4 56.6-29.2 73.4-41.4 132.7-96.3 142.8-104.7 173.4-128.7 5.8-4.5 9.2-11.5 9.2-18.9v-19c0-26.5-21.5-48-48-48H48C21.5 64 0 85.5 0 112v19c0 7.4 3.4 14.3 9.2 18.9 30.6 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fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M425 215C439.3 223.8 448 239.3 448 256C448 272.7 439.3 288.2 425 296.1L137.03 472.1C122.21 482 103.66 482.4 88.52 473.9C73.377 465.4 64 449.4 64 432V80C64 62.64 73.377 46.63 88.52 38.13C103.66 29.64 122.21 29.99 137.03 39.04L425 215Z"></path></svg></button><span class="b-flex-promo-card__audio-text">Listen | 49:36</span></div></div></div></article></div></div><div class="c-stack grid-item " data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><div class="c-stack b-flex-promo-list-block" data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap" style="--c-stack-gap:1rem"><article class="b-flex-promo-card bottom-divider"><figure class="c-media-item"><div style="aspect-ratio:1;background-color:var(--global-neutral-1)" class=""><a class="c-link 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399.342 256 368 256h-24c-13.255 0-24 10.745-24 24v176c0 13.255 10.745 24 24 24h24c60.579 0 109.917-48.098 111.928-108.187l14.382-7.191A32 32 0 0 0 512 336v-48c0-141.479-114.496-256-256-256z"></path></svg><div class="c-grid b-it-overline-block"><div class="c-stack wrap" data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="start" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap" style="--c-stack-gap:0"><span class="c-stack b-it-overline-block__text" data-style-direction="horizontal" data-style-justification="center" data-style-alignment="center" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="wrap"><a class="c-link false" href="/podcasts/inside-business/">Inside Business Podcast</a></span></div></div></div><div class="b-flex-promo-card__text-no-overline"><h3 class="c-heading c-heading__sm text-align_left"><a class="c-link font-bold" href="/podcasts/inside-business/ireland-is-on-a-winning-streak-the-outsiders-view-of-our-economy/">‘Ireland is on a winning streak’: The outsider’s view of our economy</a></h3><div class="b-flex-promo-card__audio"><button aria-label="Listen to ‘Ireland is on a winning streak’: The outsider’s view of our economy" class="c-button c-button--small c-button--primary-reverse" type="button"><svg class="c-icon" width="48" height="48" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M425 215C439.3 223.8 448 239.3 448 256C448 272.7 439.3 288.2 425 296.1L137.03 472.1C122.21 482 103.66 482.4 88.52 473.9C73.377 465.4 64 449.4 64 432V80C64 62.64 73.377 46.63 88.52 38.13C103.66 29.64 122.21 29.99 137.03 39.04L425 215Z"></path></svg></button><span class="b-flex-promo-card__audio-text">Listen | 38:58</span></div></div></div></article></div></div><div class="c-stack grid-item " data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><div class="c-stack 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data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="wrap"><a class="c-link false" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/">Ross O'Carroll-Kelly</a></span></div></div></div><div class="b-flex-promo-card__text-no-overline"><h3 class="c-heading c-heading__sm text-align_left"><a class="c-link font-bold" href="/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/sorcha-im-wondering-is-climate-justice-maybe-a-bit-above-santas-pay-grade/">‘Sorcha, I’m wondering is climate justice maybe a bit above Santa’s pay grade?’</a></h3><div class="b-flex-promo-card__audio"><button aria-label="Listen to ‘Sorcha, I’m wondering is climate justice maybe a bit above Santa’s pay grade?’" class="c-button c-button--small c-button--primary-reverse" type="button"><svg class="c-icon" width="48" height="48" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M425 215C439.3 223.8 448 239.3 448 256C448 272.7 439.3 288.2 425 296.1L137.03 472.1C122.21 482 103.66 482.4 88.52 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As a matter of fact, I have to ask him to repeat himself because <a href=\"https://www.irishtimes.com/author/ross-ocarroll-kelly/\" target=\"_blank\">I presume </a>I’ve, like, <i>misheard</i> him?","type":"text"},{"_id":"U5VSAPNLTZEWLPKFVI2JBVJVTA","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805509,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"He goes, “Yeah, I’m, like, repatriating yachts. As in, like, <a href=\"https://www.irishtimes.com/tags/magazine/\" target=\"_blank\">rich people </a>take them to the Caribbean or South America, then they can’t be orsed bringing them back again — and that’s where I step in.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"5CDFDFXINNBHNBEEFHXXGLWWLM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805510,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m there, “So people pay you to sail their — literally — boats for them?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"7WTRGWYSV5CSNMHKZGIBXMZ4FA","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805511,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"“Yeah, no,” he goes, “the last time I did it, it was for a tech billionaire who’d taken his sixty-footer around Cape Horn.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"WOTVD5VFFJDCDOAL4HUQUXWJEE","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805512,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I end up nearly spraying him with a mouthful of the old Dutch master.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"2KMPYDJALFBC5L45ZB3QWEQMRM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805513,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"He’s like, “What’s wrong?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"4C65BJAUGBCIDHXBIG3N73IDH4","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805514,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m there, “You said Cape. It sounded funny, that’s all. It <i>is</i> an actual place, is it?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"2ON3LCAMQRE3LKCRNSIR7UY2EE","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805515,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"“Yes, it’s an actual place,” he goes. “I got flown first class to Santiago, then he paid me thirty K’s to bring the thing home. You should come with me sometime.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"WOCTUMQVBJG4RAXEYGUU7HJIQM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805516,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"“In terms of?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"QRP44G3CTZBFJGU52HV2NLHCTA","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805517,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"“Well, I’m going to Borbados next week. Bringing a boat back for a certain captain of industry from Cork. 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Why would I be worried?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"6I6TJIECKBCG5BB3ZSYPC3EIZM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805526,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"He’s like, “Well, you know whenever Christian and Lauren get back together, she always makes a point of asking him what all of his friends said about her while they were broken up.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"A6IDU7ALCFGQJOII5H6CRRI42U","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805527,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Oisínn goes, “She’ll have absolutely grilled him — no offence, Hennessy.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"66LE4GLV6JEV7F76FE7LKU2CCU","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805528,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Hennessy’s there, “None taken.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"HE4ZYEZ44JELNAMJHBY355QELE","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805529,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Oisínn’s like, “They’ll have done that whole 100 per cent honesty thing.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"M4LRYXFXH5HGTCEHZMIRNAFYFQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805530,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m there, “Not this time” and I’m looking at Christian across the gorden, flipping his burgers. “He said she could waterboard him and he wouldn’t tell her any of the shit I said.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"S7LPXJ5PSFCSXIQYULLF644FDU","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805531,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Hennessy laughs and goes, “Yeah, right!”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"LXNCDXG5YVAF3PO6JZSFT36SBI","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805532,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Twenty minutes later, JP and Fionn have joined us and the goys are all keen to know what I think of the whole Andy Farrell taking a sabbatical thing. I’m in the middle of giving my analysis when Lauren is suddenly standing about 10ft away from me, staring at me like I’m something nasty that won’t flush.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"OZLK5SWMQRAMXNFKPAYLVKM5EM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805533,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"She goes, “Toxic, am I?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"HNHYOXSCPFCV3PLDULNWH2JC3M","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805534,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m there, “Excuse me?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"73XPCQS7OJF33JA25LIT46OICA","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805535,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"She’s like, “I heard you said I was toxic.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"I5CDJXM4KNBUFDE4CVLF5Y5FPI","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805536,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I look at Christian and he looks away. Seriously, the dude has a mouth the size of the Port Tunnel.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"UJNKHWGS5VCQ3C6NN4ZWFE44UA","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805537,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m there, “I’m not sure if those were my exact ...”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"WEIUIEHTFVC2BFEAZFSTCL6WRM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805538,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"She goes, “Christian told me everything. We have 100 per cent honesty in our marriage.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"6ZYMPRCVFVBKPBHS4Y5ACTPJ5E","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805539,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m there, “What I actually said was that your <i>relationship</i> was toxic? Rather than you yourself personally.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"6LZ5BBTAANBD5HL66EFCBMFMBU","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805540,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"By now every conversation in the gorden has stopped and all I can hear is the sound of Hennessy chuckling to himself.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"IH43AE7EHZB2FICMYPVV3R5XBM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805541,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Lauren goes, “What has Christian ever got out of being friends with you?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"B7Y6UV6W3FFC5EANAMDJLG7DII","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805542,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m like, “A hell of a lot, I would have said. Storting with a Leinster Schools Senior Cup medal.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"C3U3D2MY75BLZGEOYXRGMFYJTM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805543,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"She’s there, “Yeah, whatever the fock that’s worth.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"JYIK2CFGUNES5HRI45GCQGRBEU","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805544,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"There’s, like, a collective gasp. You don’t just throw out a line like that and expect there to be zero reaction. Not in Booterstown.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"T537EURWFVAATPMEPSC7AWI67U","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805545,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Sorcha tips over and goes, “Okay, can we all maybe take a breath here?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"X7UTY6NV2FAITKTV2EMIAWE3IE","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805546,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"She didn’t miss a single match back in the day, bear in mind.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"TLUQ4DEIP5HPJBPVU64IRCHML4","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805547,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Lauren goes, “Carrying on like he’s some kind of expert on marriage. He has some focking nerve.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"ODS5K4DA4JBEXB663X4O3KOBEQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805548,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Of course, Sorcha’s not going to just stand there and listen to Lauren diss our marriage like that.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"2KFDINXP55FCZBORPDDSTLR7RI","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805549,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"She goes, “Yes, we’ve had problems over the years, Lauren. But we decided to stay together and try to work them out — unlike some people I could mention.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"WDQXSBRRW5CLVCLMQL4OJNMY7M","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805550,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m thinking, steady on, Sorcha, because I can already sense that events are about to spiral out of my control. That’s an experience thing.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"LMXKCBW6DRB6DOJE3AAR3I3BDY","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805551,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"“Is that right?” Lauren goes.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"X7IIMIZP7ZC45BRRM2IFJZD7UQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805552,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Sorcha’s there, “Yes, that’s right, Lauren.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"C4BPHSSFJ5HV7M3PE5LKKX2SXI","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805553,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"And that’s when Lauren says it.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"ZJFEQBXTOFHYPPHREQ3C3YYOLM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805554,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"She’s like, “Are you aware that your children are Protestants now?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"IZUB4OZHXFBBBBK5EZPHECKEQ4","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805555,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Sorcha’s there, “Excuse me?” and she turns her head and looks at Brian, Johnny and Leo. 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She goes, “Ross, what’s she talking about?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"UQE7OCPUHNA2PADWDWIXIYEFP4","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805559,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I can’t lie to the girl.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"RYJ4JNQ6WVDLBE3L6Z7PCFXDIQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805560,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m there, “I’ve literally no idea”, having a crack at it anyway. “Although she’s been skulling the Kir Royales for the last three hours just to give you some context here.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"73ZG2B35Z5HTBPIXNJN54LUVYA","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805561,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Lauren goes, “Christian told me everything. He took them to the church and he had them baptised. Oh, and he got baptised as well. Your husband is a Protestant too.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"3D3V6ZV33JDVBI2Q6QYKU3QLYM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805562,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"Sorcha looks me up and down — like she’s looking for some physical change in me that she’s somehow missed.","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"5DBM4QBP3VBJFEZGFUGBCMAVPU","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805563,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m there, “For what it’s worth, Sorcha, I don’t <i>feel</i> any different?”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"CEQO63ZUJ5B73HI5OUFUUJA4YQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805564,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"She goes, “Ross, my mom is a minister for the Eucharist” even though I don’t really know what point she’s trying to make. “I can’t believe you did this.”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"5CFBX47LKBGDDJ26UFVA3ZDZLI","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805565,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"I’m there, “Sorcha ... ”","type":"text","paywall":"paywall"},{"_id":"6W3FJCQUPZHRHLFBIZUMJNURRM","additional_properties":{"_id":1722864805566,"comments":[],"inline_comments":[]},"content":"But she’s like, “Come on, boys, we’re leaving. 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on the all-time list with 30 to his name and continues to rack up tournament wins at a staggering rate, having clinched a record six in the 2019/20 campaign alone.","type":"text"},{"_id":"E553EKQCNVDGNGLOKIGHTWXTKM","additional_properties":{"_id":1733169404600},"content":"But he remains a seemingly untouchable distance away from O’Sullivan’s 23 ‘triple crown’ titles, having landed his fifth with his gruelling 10-8 win over qualifier Barry Hawkins at the Barbican Centre.","type":"text"},{"_id":"MEQX67C3GRB2NKRSIZE4EVWKS4","additional_properties":{"_id":1733169404601},"content":"Trump said: “I’m not comparing myself to Ronnie. I already set the record winning six events in a season and that’s very special to me. I think the only thing bigger than that would be to win all three triple crowns in a season.","type":"text"},{"_id":"UYBZJTJIBFHULNIS5N5IRRKANM","additional_properties":{"_id":1733169404602},"content":"“In terms of how hard it is to win six events, I’d put that up there as extremely difficult because no one else has done it.","type":"text"},{"_id":"DZJT745A75BSNNPXONOH3B7LNI","additional_properties":{"_id":1733169404603},"content":"“It’s different for me. I’m in the hardest era of all time by a mile. I’m always going to be compared to Ronnie and others, but I think the time has changed. I think it’s even harder now to win a triple crown.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"HTKW7LGJAVCKPKDBMEJ6SZOYJE","additional_properties":{"_id":1733169404604},"content":"Trump has often been criticised for coming up short in the sport’s three biggest events, with his last UK triumph coming way back in 2011, and with a solitary world title still to his name.","type":"text"},{"_id":"7JBKA45MPRFQTCIBFPGHW3UB3I","additional_properties":{"_id":1733169404605},"content":"But unlike many of his rivals, in particular O’Sullivan, who routinely skips the so-called lesser events on the calendar, the 35-year-old appears hungry to rack up more ranking titles of all shapes and sizes across the calendar.","type":"text"},{"_id":"XK2Q7WOFAFANNJ4EODVD5HHAVQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1733169404606},"content":"“They all mean the same – it doesn’t matter to me,” said Trump, whose rise back to the top of the world this season has been facilitated by a win at the Saudi Arabia Masters as well as the non-ranking Shanghai Masters.","type":"text"},{"_id":"QUJMQACXLFBKBFJ2KY4JOOO4SU","additional_properties":{"_id":1733169404607},"content":"“It makes no difference. If I am up there at the end of my career with the all-time greats then brilliant, but I am just going to try and keep knocking out the ranking events and see where I can get to.","type":"text"},{"_id":"HZMSIXYM4RCFNJVRHH4ZVT3YPQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1733169404608},"content":"“It is still a long way to go from where I want to be in my career.”","type":"text"}],"content_restrictions":{"content_code":"metered"},"credits":{"by":[]},"description":{"basic":"Englishman clinched his second crown in York on Sunday"},"display_date":"2024-12-02T20:17:16.261Z","headlines":{"basic":"Judd Trump shrugs off Ronnie O’Sullivan comparisons after UK Championship win","native":""},"label":{"audio_project_id":{"text":"8948"}},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"6DHXNXJNHXWHULYLXJ3PHVKTJQ","auth":{"1":"f203492c7fe3276a54394f9fd9fb9e287d2121c0d07c05ce15a5f54cc4273a44"},"focal_point":{"x":2933,"y":629},"url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/6DHXNXJNHXWHULYLXJ3PHVKTJQ.jpg"}},"subtype":"default","taxonomy":{"sections":[{"name":"Sport"}]},"type":"story","website_url":"/sport/2024/12/02/judd-trump-shrugs-off-ronnie-osullivan-comparisons-after-uk-championship-win/","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/sport","additional_properties":{"original":{}},"name":"Sport"}}}},{"_id":"B7P7TCJTMFEBBMHXZ5LBSQ63RY","additional_properties":{"audio_duration":235,"audio_url":"https://beyondwords-h0e8gjgjaqe0egb7.a03.azurefd.net/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/48fd8568-53cf-4c4b-8cf0-278aaa0a7098/versions/1733170597/media/46a2aca4ce3489bd11609d9ed057bea1_compiled.mp3"},"canonical_url":"/crime-law/courts/2024/12/02/plan-to-house-1000-male-asylum-seekers-on-athlone-site-subject-of-high-court-challenge/","content_elements":[{"_id":"XGQUYM2HZND6NO53CORRP66LMY","additional_properties":{"_id":1733164828304},"content":"A plan to house 1,000 male asylum seekers in Athlone, <a href=\"https://www.irishtimes.com/tags/westmeath/\" target=\"_blank\">Co Westmeath</a>, is the target of a <a href=\"https://www.irishtimes.com/tags/high-court/\" target=\"_blank\">High Court</a> challenge brought by a local councillor with the support of four other local representatives.","type":"text"},{"_id":"WGQOCYO3WZCFXPZO4TGGHKXJ5Q","additional_properties":{"_id":1733164828305},"content":"Paul Hogan, who secured 4.8 per cent of the first-preference vote when running for Independent Ireland in Longford-Westmeath in the recent general election, claims the ministerial process providing for the plan is unlawful, irrational and a breach of fair procedures.","type":"text"},{"_id":"MB5LEBPM4BB7ZO64EP4GIYQEEY","additional_properties":{"_id":1733164828306},"content":"A fundraising website, currently recording 907 donations totalling €46,000, says a court challenge is being brought on behalf of Mr Hogan and four other Athlone-based representatives, including the now Independent TD Kevin ‘Boxer’ Moran and councillors Frankie Keena and Aengus O’Rourke of <a href=\"https://www.irishtimes.com/tags/fianna-fail/\" target=\"_blank\">Fianna Fáil</a> and John Dolan of <a href=\"https://www.irishtimes.com/tags/fine-gael/\" target=\"_blank\">Fine Gael</a>.","type":"text"},{"_id":"ET2LLNJHVNF3PD42URV2VVV67Y","additional_properties":{"_id":1733164828307},"content":"Protests were held recently in Athlone over a plan to develop accommodation for 1,000 asylum seekers in up to 150 tents on a site to the rear of an existing direction provision centre at Lissywollen. 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This confirmed that the project did not need An Bord Pleanála’s approval and noted that Mr O’Gorman was satisfied two specific European Union law environmental assessments did not need to be conducted before proceeding with the plan.","type":"text"},{"_id":"5NW7XBVXVFHM3LO7YNNCXLBFL4","additional_properties":{"_id":1733164828312},"content":"Mr Hogan claims the Minister failed to adequately screen the project for potential environmental effects and that he lacks the expertise to carry out such assessments. 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In the latest case involving Masterchef, what did BBC know and when, and why did it not take firm action sooner?","type":"text"},{"_id":"ZV63GWIS7RHHZFRHCWM5RYSQ6I","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165912681},"content":"Wallace has been accused by at least 13 women of inappropriate behaviour on the cooking show franchise and has agreed to “step away” while BBC and producers conduct investigations. The allegations include making sexualised comments to women, talking luridly in front of female staff about his sex life, and undressing and changing in women’s view.","type":"text"},{"_id":"Z52RZSNQZVDAZJSCFSM6DPD3VI","additional_properties":{"_id":"VOKRRJFFLFD7FD36PZSMVYENFU"},"content":"Gregg Wallace: What are the allegations against the MasterChef presenter?","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"Q7V2P36DDBGFHMT3TNGOBNUX54","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165912682},"content":"The issue has been catnip for the last week for elements of the British printed press who are forever enthusiastic about an opportunity to pile pressure on the state-funded broadcaster, the BBC. The high profile identities of some of Wallace’s complainants, however, has also given the story added fizz. His lawyers have denied any suggestions of sexual harassment.","type":"text"},{"_id":"B4OFPFYLYZA6TEZAU7LG2OTBAM","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165912683},"content":"The BBC has not named the women who gave statements, but among those to have complained about Wallace in public are television star Ulrika Jonsson, former Newsnight presenter Kirsty Wark and Kirstie Allsop, a Channel 4 presenter who participated in Celebrity Masterchef.","type":"text"},{"_id":"I4EMXPX4CRFXXDCBK5B4QDHAPM","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165912684},"content":"Wallace chose at the weekend to effectively play the class card by dismissing the complainants against him, a man from working class stock, as coming from “middle class women of a certain age”.","type":"text"},{"_id":"3EHX4WBYCRCNDNP7347IEMVZR4","additional_properties":{"_id":1733170161371},"content":"It was a provocative intervention and Wallace backtracked on Monday and said sorry.","type":"text"},{"_id":"OKJ5735RYVEXPFNKMRJ5JFQHAY","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165912685},"content":"“I wasn’t in a good head space when I posted” the comments, he said.","type":"text"},{"_id":"5WXCS5M22FAJDGJHNONLLP4TSE","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165912686},"content":"They were sufficient to draw a response from prime minister Keir Starmer’s office, illustrating the sensitivity there is in Britain about the beloved “Beeb” and sex scandals. Number 10 said Wallace’s clumsy attempt at defence over the weekend was “inappropriate and misogynistic”.","type":"text"},{"_id":"L2DGNPE6YVEQTDVM5HB5H7LAHA","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165912687},"content":"It was also confirmed at a government briefing with Westminster journalists that culture secretary Lisa Nandy had already held talks with BBC executives over the Wallace allegations, as government nervousness about the issue grows.","type":"text"},{"_id":"GM7CQFPPUZFL3I7V7MSJMYTKDA","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165912688},"content":"Rupa Huq, a Labour MP, has even called on the BBC to suspend the latest series of Masterchef: The Professionals. She suggested it would be “massively triggering” for some women to put it on the air.","type":"text"},{"_id":"NOL3FGLRRFHZJJLRC5HO73OCVY","additional_properties":{"_id":1733170161376},"content":"On Monday the BBC stood firm, however, and was due to broadcast the show that night while it also insisted the Masterchef Christmas special would go ahead as planned.","type":"text"},{"_id":"X5GUBYAVPNENHCGOMD5YNK47M4","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165912689},"content":"Scrutiny of the BBC is heightened by the fact that it has known about some of the allegations since at least 2017. It gave Wallace a warning in 2018 but allowed him to continue in his role.","type":"text"},{"_id":"BBB3UJV6FBAXNCPEGR5YBYM6DQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1733170161378},"content":"Actress Emma Kennedy, however, has said she complained about him as far back as 2012. If true, it opens up a whole new seam of scrutiny about the BBC’s seemingly lax attitude towards oversight of certain stars.","type":"text"},{"_id":"576PXK7NYNAUPKNYYWJDZZBJSQ","additional_properties":{},"type":"list"}],"content_restrictions":{"content_code":"metered"},"credits":{"by":[{"additional_properties":{"original":{"byline":"Mark Paul"}},"name":"Mark Paul"}]},"description":{"basic":"Prime minister’s office has criticised Wallace, presenter of popular cookery show Masterchef"},"display_date":"2024-12-02T20:09:38.302Z","headlines":{"basic":"Downing Street comments on Gregg Wallace allegations indicative of pressure on BBC","native":""},"label":{"audio_project_id":{"text":"8948"}},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"B2RNP2WK55HLTBGDNEZ5AB6KME","auth":{"1":"9f39908a9a4a6c5307edb35bc0594d34b3c539a37ce2c3822708cee61edb1fe1"},"url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/B2RNP2WK55HLTBGDNEZ5AB6KME.jpg"}},"subtype":"analysis","taxonomy":{"sections":[{"name":"UK"},{"name":"Culture"},{"name":"TV & Radio"},{"name":"World"}]},"type":"story","website_url":"/world/uk/2024/12/02/downing-street-comments-on-gregg-wallace-allegations-indicative-of-pressure-on-bbc/","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/world/uk","additional_properties":{"original":{}},"name":"UK"}}}},{"_id":"IWIHEM5TY5FL7E54RJAIVPWX4I","additional_properties":{"audio_duration":202,"audio_url":"https://beyondwords-h0e8gjgjaqe0egb7.a03.azurefd.net/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/c2233a05-9348-4ddd-ba47-252b16a1fe4c/versions/1733170280/media/a2e711654a61a463088c66f93e7adc79_compiled.mp3"},"canonical_url":"/crime-law/courts/2024/12/02/father-of-murderer-yousef-palani-challenges-decision-to-stop-jobseekers-and-disability-benefits/","content_elements":[{"_id":"OYFSS7ZFO5B5FLCB5FBB4ZGTLI","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766436},"content":"The father of murderer <a href=\"https://www.irishtimes.com/tags/yousef-palani/\" target=\"_blank\">Yousef Palani</a> is seeking a judicial review over a decision to stop his jobseeker’s and disability allowances.","type":"text"},{"_id":"XAC7LPZSYVDTDJCRRE65CNYIME","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766437},"content":"Juma Palani is taking High Court action against the Criminal Assets Bureau , the Chief Appeals Officer, the Minister for Social Protection, the Minister for Justice, Ireland and the Attorney General.","type":"text"},{"_id":"5ESQWAJBXZE4BHLW262PZNSI6Y","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766438},"content":"<a href=\"https://www.irishtimes.com/crime-law/courts/2023/10/23/double-murderer-yousef-palani-jailed-for-life-for-attacks-on-gay-men-spurred-by-hostility-and-prejudice/\" target=\"_blank\">Yousef Palani was jailed for life last year</a> for the murders of Michael Snee and Aidan Moffitt, and for stabbing Anthony Burke, all of which happened over a four-day period in Sligo. Palani was 23 at the time of the murders in April 2022 and selected his victims, who were gay men, using an online dating app.","type":"text"},{"_id":"VD3LDT74MFET5AHNLJMFCZUG6U","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766440},"content":"The remains of Mr Moffitt (42) were discovered in his home on April 11th, 2022, and the body of Mr Snee (58) was found the next day in his home.","type":"text"},{"_id":"SAHS3SFRFNBPXJHVUOGWY5MMQU","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766441},"content":"Juma Palani is seeking an order quashing a decision made last January “disallowing” his claims for jobseeker’s and disability allowance. He also wants the court to overturn a decision to seek repayment of monies paid out in respect of the allowances. He is also seeking a declaration that the State parties erred in determining, pursuant to the Criminal Assets Bureau Act 1996, that there are “reasonable grounds” to infer that he engaged in criminal activity.","type":"text"},{"_id":"OI3BM72ZNBFIHLEJEMUAKJL3LU","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766443},"content":"Mr Palani submits that no evidence supporting that assertion has been produced. He is also seeking a declaration that the respondents are in breach of, and have failed to vindicate, his “procedural rights under the Constitution and the European Court of Human Rights Act”.","type":"text"},{"_id":"BVPVKIQX2FD2FO7LU53NNU5G7Q","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766445},"content":"Mr Palani submits that he applied for Jobseeker’s Allowance in August 2006 and for Disability Allowance in February 2021.","type":"text"},{"_id":"GWXI6A3YWFCL7LX2YQRKP72HLU","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766446},"content":"The applicant says in his statement of grounds that he attended a Garda interview in May of last year. He says a final disallowing decision was made last January and this was followed by a February decision seeking the repayment of all monies in respect of the claims. Mr Palani’s lawyers submit that the investigation into the applicant’s allowances had been carried out unlawfully and without a permitting certificate to do so.","type":"text"},{"_id":"DOGM5QU4SBBPXJBWJFOOPXAQUY","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766448},"content":"In February, the applicant’s solicitor wrote to the relevant State parties requesting “any evidence for concluding that the applicant was engaged in criminal conduct and might engage in threats and intimidation of deciding officers” as defined in the Act.","type":"text"},{"_id":"AH2RWZOFAJFP7O24QS3IMTNCLM","additional_properties":{"_id":"57O3LYLPIBE6RLHJD4SNV7PW3Y"},"content":"‘It was beyond homophobia’: Sligo’s LGBTQ community still reeling after Yousef Palani’s spree of violence","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"VU26R6S5FNB2XNX7EOLUQOYVJE","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766449},"content":"“The applicant has maintained his position throughout his dealings with the respondents that he is not engaged in any criminal activity and does not constitute a threat to staff,” Mr Palani’s lawyers say.","type":"text"},{"_id":"RKTUAFMWR5DANK5JZU5PSVDPII","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766450},"content":"He submits that, had there been any evidence implicating him as having engaged in criminal activity, he should have been given an opportunity to respond to it as required “by fair procedures, natural and constitutional justice”.","type":"text"},{"_id":"HDQZ4QJNBZECFL7MSIFUBV3ETI","additional_properties":{"_id":1733165766451},"content":"The case came before Ms Justice Mary Rose Gearty on Monday. She adjourned the matter to reappear at the High Court next week.","type":"text"},{"_id":"YCDY6C2IB5FUNMX3YVDX7FFP3I","additional_properties":{},"type":"list"}],"content_restrictions":{"content_code":"metered"},"credits":{"by":[{"additional_properties":{"original":{}},"name":"Paul Neilan"}]},"description":{"basic":"Juma Palani is taking High Court action against a decision made in January ‘disallowing’ his claims"},"display_date":"2024-12-02T20:06:09.682Z","headlines":{"basic":"Father of murderer Yousef Palani challenges decision to stop jobseeker’s and disability benefits ","native":""},"label":{"audio_project_id":{"text":"8948"}},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"QTGCTJLYQZBSJED6G5ROFH6YQU","auth":{"1":"4e3e7c03b30febf861bed36da76f9488566e8bc099fd9a4d3502f743a8e75f92"},"focal_point":{"x":388,"y":278},"url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/QTGCTJLYQZBSJED6G5ROFH6YQU.jpg"}},"subtype":"default","taxonomy":{"sections":[{"name":"Courts"},{"name":"Crime & Law"}]},"type":"story","website_url":"/crime-law/courts/2024/12/02/father-of-murderer-yousef-palani-challenges-decision-to-stop-jobseekers-and-disability-benefits/","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/crime-law/courts","additional_properties":{"original":{}},"name":"Courts"}}}},{"_id":"5NEYIA22TFERVFHWGHUY2O2MNA","additional_properties":{"audio_duration":143,"audio_url":"https://beyondwords-h0e8gjgjaqe0egb7.a03.azurefd.net/audio/projects/8948/podcasts/f4a7a72f-3152-4bcc-b9e8-14da72bc8640/versions/1733162148/media/ec4df77a3c0fcb11e7707b611cca9652_compiled.mp3"},"canonical_url":"/opinion/editorials/2024/12/02/the-irish-times-view-on-the-latest-earnings-data-a-rebound-which-helped-the-government/","content_elements":[{"_id":"VVIXRSIRWBFYHFE4ROZN5YPUYY","additional_properties":{"_id":1733160381176},"content":"The <a href=\"https://www.irishtimes.com/business/2024/12/02/average-weekly-earnings-rise-by-53-as-workers-seek-real-wage-catch-up/\" target=\"_blank\">latest earnings data from the Central Statistics Office (CSO)</a> give some insight into why so many voters gave their support to the main parties in the outgoing government. There will be a strong rise in real earnings this year – in other words pay is rising ahead of inflation. This comes after a couple of years when earnings did not keep pace with price increases. The reversal in this trend may have come just in time for Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael.","type":"text"},{"_id":"S2YIYDGRKFC6PGVIKIV7DP5L6I","additional_properties":{"_id":1733160381177},"content":"<a href=\"https://www.cso.ie/en/releasesandpublications/ep/p-elcq/earningsandlabourcostsq22024finalq32024preliminaryestimates/\" target=\"_blank\">The CSO figures</a> show average earnings rose by 5.3 per cent over the past year. This is well ahead of inflation, last measured by the CSO as increasing at an annual rate of 0.7 per cent and – even excluding volatile energy and unprocessed food – the rise was just over 2 per cent.","type":"text"},{"_id":"C7DLTS5AXNDNBAZAVMQBTSYD7Q","additional_properties":{"_id":1733160381178},"content":"Over the five years the Coalition has been in office, earnings have risen by about 24 per cent, just about outpacing inflation of close to 20 per cent. The main hit to real earnings was during the inflation surge of 2022 and 2023. The Coalition was able to protect living standards to some extent through once-off payments to households. It may also have got some credit from voters for this.","type":"text"},{"_id":"FYCJAKXQ7BCUFCUD7SUFGWEGV4","additional_properties":{"_id":1733160381179},"content":"Whatever precise shape the new government takes, these trends point up some important issues. The most obvious is the potential impact of geo-political events – the Russian invasion of Ukraine was a significant factor pushing up inflation. In an uncertain world, and with Donald Trump due to take office in January, room for manoeuvre in the public finances is vital. It served Ireland well through the pandemic.","type":"text"},{"_id":"EPHRL7FKFJHM3CISIGK6XUXEOU","additional_properties":{"_id":1733160381180},"content":"The earnings figures also show the long road to improve the position of those at work after inflation and how easily this can be upset. The other side of this story has been the big increase in the number of people at work – this means total earnings across the economy have risen strongly.","type":"text"},{"_id":"ASU5LPSFOBDANP67L3E7LJ4NPE","additional_properties":{"_id":1733160381181},"content":"The new government must seek to protect employment, while finding ways to improve living standards, in part through better public services. 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She takes a page from the box and goes, “Okay, we’ll stort with the address. Obviously, it’s different from last year. We won’t go into details about the fire. We’ll just say that we’re living with Grandma and Grandpa Lalor for now. Okay, here we go. I’ll put ‘Dear Santa’. Then I’ll stort off by saying that we hope he and Mrs Claus are keeping well, despite the fact that the North Pole is, like, 20 degrees warmer than it was a century ago. And I’ll say that you’ve been very, very good boys this year.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"YCXYVAIIANFXXG3JYQ7X4MFC44","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887854},"content":"I’m there, “Again, we won’t mention the fire.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"J2KWZYKWZFCZPMDUS2ETZISTDU","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887855},"content":"She goes, “Right, what we do want for Christmas – as in, what do we, like, <i>really</i> want?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"PSTGHOL74VDNXAKQGDOT2T7AIY","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887856},"content":"I’m there, “Johnny mentioned a bike.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"4C37SUOE4FBW5BQML7ZHPPYJR4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887857},"content":"“A focking bike,” Johnny goes.","type":"text"},{"_id":"SBDX6W76PNE5DHAQHJG6LCZB7E","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887858},"content":"I’m like, “A <i>focking</i> bike. 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Okay, what else?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"BNSRGNPPFNDCXM6G3VQXLORXL4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887873},"content":"“A mini Ferrrari,” Brian goes.","type":"text"},{"_id":"H6CJ6ZUA4ZEVBG5A6MJ3PHAWXE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887874},"content":"And Sorcha’s like, “Again, Brian, we’re trying to think of less <i>tangible</i> things?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"H35MRV3MARFGFBBA7EPCOF4XS4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887875},"content":"He looks at me.","type":"text"},{"_id":"Z7FG776LIBAQRFXXQ35MXHUROE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887876},"content":"I’m there, “Jesus Christ, Brian, you’d a bigger vocabulary than me when you were five.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"PAB7UY7IJFH3PMEO7QIETC46W4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887877},"content":"“Come on, what else?” Sorcha goes. “What if we just ask Santa to keep us all safe and healthy during the coming year?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"FJG6PZBU5RCW3EI2AIG45TNAKA","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887878},"content":"I’m there, “Again, I see Santa as the boss of a humungous Amazon-type warehouse in the snowy wilds of wherever. 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Then I’ll sign off by saying that this is your wish for Christmas and you don’t want any material gifts this year.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"TC5KHUQPEFCF7E3JLN7GSD23HY","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887880},"content":"Johnny’s like, “What the fock?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"LYA653YEZRH3FDANNN6NH7PULE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887881},"content":"“This is going to be the shittest Christmas ever,” Honor goes.","type":"text"},{"_id":"44OWHQJNHBBTHBMGMK7HLMOO4Y","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887882},"content":"I’m there, “It’s definitely shaping up that way.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"X2577G7KSRGYHGZ57ASQSLN4QM","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887883},"content":"Sorcha’s there, “Lots of love, Honor, Brian, Johnny and Leo.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"57ZP5MEUBFAILGHVMHJOEL6FJA","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887884},"content":"I’m like, “Sorcha, just to repeat what Johnny said, what the fock?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"AJ5SGVMC4FEEXNMXB7KWK7KYZA","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887885},"content":"She goes, “Right, I’m going to go and make some more hot chocolate,” and she takes the letter and heads for the kitchen.","type":"text"},{"_id":"PIHG4YAL2BAD3LRRNXJ3OL7HMQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887886},"content":"Leo’s like, “Are we getting no presents from Santa?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"XLXCCRE5SZFALCDEZ6WHDPAXTU","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887887},"content":"Honor’s there, “Don’t worry – it’s just our mother looking for likes from strangers again.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"IYLZI6ZBPZDVBAOYVBFV4OEXJM","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887888},"content":"I go, “Has she posted it yet?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"5XVDULP5OVANXB27XGY4K7T6D4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887889},"content":"Honor checks her phone.","type":"text"},{"_id":"BB5T7VMN7BES5NTU5V2EY7FTWI","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887890},"content":"She’s there, “Yeah – 30 seconds ago.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"GYQ37XNOH5AJTMHIC6RXBB2RVE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887891},"content":"I’m like, “Any responses yet?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"VUZTIUMOHJAMZB7AQBWKRPSIMI","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887892},"content":"“One,” Honor goes. “Someone called her a knob. 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We’ve the Bublé CD on and we’re all wearing our Christmas jumpers. Mine has a picture of Tadhg Furlong, Dan Sheehan and Andrew Porter wearing Santa hats and the words “O Scrum All Ye Faithful” on it. Sorcha has made hot chocolate for everyone and I’m sitting there with my pen poised.","type":"text"},{"_id":"XPB2U7AK65CMZFBTRC7RXEPGYA","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887838},"content":"Johnny’s like, “A focking bike!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"W4EWGFUCPNEPLAYXWHR3MEN5PQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887839},"content":"Leo’s there, “An electric guitor!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"7W4XWYME6RCNLDE3YM6O5SSFD4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887840},"content":"Brian goes, “A mini Ferrari!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"FCRP6LDVKNG2BMNTONFIBZVVOA","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887841},"content":"And I’m like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Go slower, goys,” because I’m struggling to get it all down on paper.","type":"text"},{"_id":"GEKZTEGAL5GL3HZ5YBPJVKUFF4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887842},"content":"But that’s when Sorcha decides to put an end to the fun.","type":"text"},{"_id":"Y7BQQP7PLZCVVK6VYAHCDAEOOY","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887843},"content":"She goes, “We’re not just going to throw everything down on paper as it occurs to us. We’re going to write a more <i>considered</i> letter to Santa this year?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"NISVQJJX4ZDT5IU4ZRMVCDZCEY","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887844},"content":"The boys look at me as if to say, “Talk to your wife, will you? It sounds like she’s having another one of her wobbles.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"I4NXX3XH7ZGHHJDYVIRNDCDOFE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887845},"content":"Honor goes, “Oh my God, does this have anything to do with the letter that JP and Chloe wrote last year?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"I4WWEPPHORHDPJN4WSVWQXLLRM","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887846},"content":"Yeah, no, long story short, JP and Chloe posted little Isa’s Santa letter on Instagram – it was very cute, in fairness to it – and it ended up going viral. And I remember Sorcha complaining at the time that our Santa letters had all the chorm of a ransom note, containing, as they did, nothing more than a list of demands and instructions.","type":"text"},{"_id":"RYMD7Q5VEJFFFB7KHTIDKDYKVY","additional_properties":{"_id":"5VKJRJMLBZHS7CWKE7GOXHVRYQ"},"subtype":"pullquote","type":"quote"},{"_id":"WFDPZAILQRGLFA6CMDNSUMS7OA","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887847},"content":"Sorcha produces a small box, which it turns out contains writing paper – and not just ordinary writing paper either.","type":"text"},{"_id":"6TZPO7TTEZHG7JJT64YRD2R3RI","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887848},"content":"“It’s from a fully sustainable source!” Sorcha goes. “Meaning it was produced using virgin fibres from a Forest Stewardship Council-certified wood, adhering to the strictest environmental, social and economic standards! It’s also corbon-neutral in the sense that any CO2 emissions caused by its production were offset by methods to remove it from the atmosphere!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UDBAHZCIWRGCDLRK4HYLFAWQMM","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887849},"content":"You can almost hear the Christmas joy being sucked out of the room.","type":"text"},{"_id":"RXD35RBKZJGNLB3AKTTWFWCSIE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887850},"content":"Honor’s like, “I’m sure you’ll make sure to mention that in your Instagram post.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"TQLVX6HMCBGIDGTTDUDOVZJFL4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887851},"content":"“Also,” Sorcha goes, producing a pen, “we’re going to write it using a soy-based ink, which has a far less hormful environmental impact than petroleum-based inks.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"QWDPSDCPKZAW3E4BRJZJNYD5NI","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887852},"content":"“People are just going to think you’re a knob,” Honor goes.","type":"text"},{"_id":"XCT66VHFWNC3DCH4HGAW6BHREE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887853},"content":"Sorcha just ignores her. She takes a page from the box and goes, “Okay, we’ll stort with the address. Obviously, it’s different from last year. We won’t go into details about the fire. We’ll just say that we’re living with Grandma and Grandpa Lalor for now. Okay, here we go. I’ll put ‘Dear Santa’. Then I’ll stort off by saying that we hope he and Mrs Claus are keeping well, despite the fact that the North Pole is, like, 20 degrees warmer than it was a century ago. And I’ll say that you’ve been very, very good boys this year.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"YCXYVAIIANFXXG3JYQ7X4MFC44","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887854},"content":"I’m there, “Again, we won’t mention the fire.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"J2KWZYKWZFCZPMDUS2ETZISTDU","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887855},"content":"She goes, “Right, what we do want for Christmas – as in, what do we, like, <i>really</i> want?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"PSTGHOL74VDNXAKQGDOT2T7AIY","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887856},"content":"I’m there, “Johnny mentioned a bike.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"4C37SUOE4FBW5BQML7ZHPPYJR4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887857},"content":"“A focking bike,” Johnny goes.","type":"text"},{"_id":"SBDX6W76PNE5DHAQHJG6LCZB7E","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887858},"content":"I’m like, “A <i>focking</i> bike. I stand corrected.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"6SO6FH3XU5ETPDF62V4G2FZYBU","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887859},"content":"Sorcha goes, “Why don’t we – just for one year – ask for gifts that are slightly more, I don’t know, <i>ethereal</i>?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"ZCPLLGR7FJEU7LSTISYA4EKNFA","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887860},"content":"The three boys look at me for an explanation.","type":"text"},{"_id":"6EWSMX336NAJLNX3VPUTKDC7TY","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887861},"content":"I’m there, “I haven’t a clue, goys. I was on the senior cup team, bear in mind?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UVAWMDGF3JFWZHPTQ55SJXDT54","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887862},"content":"Honor goes, “It means things that don’t cost any money.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"OPGT7JHWE5DH5LEN5XWXQFPPAY","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887863},"content":"Sorcha’s there, “It means spiritual things.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"BVL6JHDBHVGSZMUJ7F5SOG6XCY","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887864},"content":"“Oh my God,” Honor goes, “this is totally for Instagram. People will say that your children are going to grow up to hate you.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"YNWVANDE6NAXTDACIDPQQFVLJQ","additional_properties":{"_id":"IEH52E4JYRBNLG7KZVQ5CSEYQI"},"subtype":"pullquote","type":"quote"},{"_id":"VTHGUIFPLJCTZI473AJ5MG4D3U","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887865},"content":"Sorcha’s there, “Why don’t we ask for – just as an example – peace on Earth.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"I3XVS5NWHFCW3O2CWCSE6FEYE4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887866},"content":"I’m like, “Is that not–?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"JB7NMP4XNBE6PNNH6WI3HARGRU","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887867},"content":"Sorcha’s there, “What?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"N6VTZYWV7BCFHM63RZV6TZESKE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887868},"content":"“Well, God’s deportment?” I go. “I mean, Santa is just a dude who runs a workshop where he makes <i>toys</i> all year round?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UYTK6OVPSZHKJNIKFVRGQTQKEI","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887869},"content":"“I’m putting down peace on Earth,” Sorcha goes, then she writes the words. “Okay, what else? What about climate justice?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UYABWATWWBH55FKGKSXEP34HFQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887870},"content":"“The fock is that?” Leo goes – and he’s well within his rights.","type":"text"},{"_id":"4QVFKMZNRBCWPHPVEEJ232YSQE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887871},"content":"I’m there, “Again, Sorcha, I’m wondering is climate justice maybe a bit above<i> </i>Santa’s pay grade?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"PRFTH4X56RGILDKNREC45KOAGY","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887872},"content":"She’s there, “I’m going to ask him for a stabilisation in our emission of greenhouse gases in the short term to at least put off the global catastrophe that’s coming our way. And also more windmills and solar panels for the world. Okay, what else?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"BNSRGNPPFNDCXM6G3VQXLORXL4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887873},"content":"“A mini Ferrrari,” Brian goes.","type":"text"},{"_id":"H6CJ6ZUA4ZEVBG5A6MJ3PHAWXE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887874},"content":"And Sorcha’s like, “Again, Brian, we’re trying to think of less <i>tangible</i> things?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"H35MRV3MARFGFBBA7EPCOF4XS4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887875},"content":"He looks at me.","type":"text"},{"_id":"Z7FG776LIBAQRFXXQ35MXHUROE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887876},"content":"I’m there, “Jesus Christ, Brian, you’d a bigger vocabulary than me when you were five.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"PAB7UY7IJFH3PMEO7QIETC46W4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887877},"content":"“Come on, what else?” Sorcha goes. “What if we just ask Santa to keep us all safe and healthy during the coming year?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"FJG6PZBU5RCW3EI2AIG45TNAKA","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887878},"content":"I’m there, “Again, I see Santa as the boss of a humungous Amazon-type warehouse in the snowy wilds of wherever. I think we’re asking a bit much from him. He might think we’re ripping the piss.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"GPRTL67GXJEDNJSZSB7P5IT3CM","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887879},"content":"But Sorcha goes, “Ross, he and Mrs Claus live on a sheet of ice that has thinned by almost 50 per cent in the last 50 years. Actually, I’ll mention that in the letter. Then I’ll sign off by saying that this is your wish for Christmas and you don’t want any material gifts this year.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"TC5KHUQPEFCF7E3JLN7GSD23HY","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887880},"content":"Johnny’s like, “What the fock?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"LYA653YEZRH3FDANNN6NH7PULE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887881},"content":"“This is going to be the shittest Christmas ever,” Honor goes.","type":"text"},{"_id":"44OWHQJNHBBTHBMGMK7HLMOO4Y","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887882},"content":"I’m there, “It’s definitely shaping up that way.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"X2577G7KSRGYHGZ57ASQSLN4QM","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887883},"content":"Sorcha’s there, “Lots of love, Honor, Brian, Johnny and Leo.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"57ZP5MEUBFAILGHVMHJOEL6FJA","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887884},"content":"I’m like, “Sorcha, just to repeat what Johnny said, what the fock?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"AJ5SGVMC4FEEXNMXB7KWK7KYZA","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887885},"content":"She goes, “Right, I’m going to go and make some more hot chocolate,” and she takes the letter and heads for the kitchen.","type":"text"},{"_id":"PIHG4YAL2BAD3LRRNXJ3OL7HMQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887886},"content":"Leo’s like, “Are we getting no presents from Santa?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"XLXCCRE5SZFALCDEZ6WHDPAXTU","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887887},"content":"Honor’s there, “Don’t worry – it’s just our mother looking for likes from strangers again.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"IYLZI6ZBPZDVBAOYVBFV4OEXJM","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887888},"content":"I go, “Has she posted it yet?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"5XVDULP5OVANXB27XGY4K7T6D4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887889},"content":"Honor checks her phone.","type":"text"},{"_id":"BB5T7VMN7BES5NTU5V2EY7FTWI","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887890},"content":"She’s there, “Yeah – 30 seconds ago.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"GYQ37XNOH5AJTMHIC6RXBB2RVE","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887891},"content":"I’m like, “Any responses yet?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"VUZTIUMOHJAMZB7AQBWKRPSIMI","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887892},"content":"“One,” Honor goes. “Someone called her a knob. Oh, and someone else just said that her kids would grow up to hate her.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"H6GGYSSZS5A5FKXHBOB623DLCQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1732538887893},"content":"“Right,” I go, “let’s write your real list before she comes back. Who said they wanted an electric guitor?”","type":"text"}],"content_restrictions":{"content_code":"premium"},"credits":{"by":[{"additional_properties":{"original":{"byline":"Ross O'Carroll-Kelly"}},"name":"Ross O'Carroll-Kelly"}]},"description":{"basic":"Honor goes, ‘Don’t worry – it’s just our mother looking for likes from strangers again’"},"display_date":"2024-11-30T05:00:00Z","headlines":{"basic":"‘Sorcha, I’m wondering is climate justice maybe a bit above Santa’s pay grade?’","native":""},"label":{},"promo_items":{"basic":{"_id":"2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU","auth":{"1":"ce9515e92d72b629eb2d343932922ce35f6d8861795c81404197f0ffd8bdf691"},"focal_point":{"x":1302,"y":975},"url":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/2YYZ6XOJMJBTNNT5U2IPQBC6BU.jpg"},"podcast":{"embed":{"config":{"duration":382.684,"episodeTitle":"Honor goes, ‘Don’t worry – it’s just our mother looking for likes from strangers again’","imageUrl":"https://assets.pippa.io/shows/61409402444fd951a7f27e60/1673383397461-8f5dc76da6409974bd352dc3e7b7a299.jpeg","showTitle":"Ross O'Carroll-Kelly","streamUrl":"https://feeds.acast.com/public/streams/61409402444fd951a7f27e60/episodes/6749fae61c6967d8146dc23f.mp3"}}}},"subtype":"podcast","taxonomy":{"sections":[{"name":"Ross O'Carroll-Kelly"},{"name":"People"},{"name":"Life & Style"},{"name":"Podcasts"}]},"type":"story","website_url":"/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/sorcha-im-wondering-is-climate-justice-maybe-a-bit-above-santas-pay-grade/","websites":{"irishtimes":{"website_section":{"_id":"/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly","additional_properties":{"original":{"Podcast":{"podcast_logo":"https://cloudfront-eu-central-1.images.arcpublishing.com/irishtimes/MH35IEIN5FGYNH7X3SQF3E4LBQ.jpg"}}},"name":"Ross O'Carroll-Kelly"}}}},{"_id":"JZZIM4DFA5DLLEDGGVEAYKYMSQ","additional_properties":{},"canonical_url":"/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/sorcha-goes-i-make-no-apologies-for-saying-it-honor-you-are-a-danger-to-democracy/","content_elements":[{"_id":"V74LYAD5I5GGHFP5XNDUMKSMTM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772943},"content":"Honor is in an absolute fouler when she gets into the cor.","type":"text"},{"_id":"YW3KQAFMEJHGJDEIMLP6JNU4BQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772944},"content":"I’m there, “Tough day at school?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"N7IR7Y2QW5FOHKVVO7NIGFYO3I","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772945},"content":"“The fock is this?” she goes, waving a sheaf of glossy pages at me and her old dear.","type":"text"},{"_id":"FI72YJTCLJFCTIRZILKKEDNBQA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772946},"content":"And Sorcha – sitting behind the wheel – goes, “It’s a copy of the student magazine, isn’t it? The Mount Anville Gazette?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"PD3XUOUJEJE4VBSQSAFXFYU5VI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772947},"content":"“Exactly,” Honor goes. “And there’s an editorial in it calling me a fascist.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"RMV5SZFKANGYJDXKJLOPD2XVRQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772948},"content":"I’m there, “A fascist? Jesus! Here, what do they do again?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"JTQLNTQTYZFRHDGZYPC3OTLOAA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772949},"content":"“It means an authoritarian,” Sorcha goes. “Someone who’s dictatorial. Autocratic. It means she believes in the suppression of dissent.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"YZJVDLYGGFDBFMURFG6ABWBZOE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772950},"content":"Honor’s there, “Er, does that <i>sound</i> like me?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"6G3MROTL2BDDXB4XLZ6GRUFAYM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772951},"content":"Sorcha doesn’t give her a straight answer. She just goes, “You’ve definitely chosen to be a different <i>kind</i> of Head Girl?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"7IBWLYQ7VVFM7IJZO3UDZKCMEM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772952},"content":"Honor’s there, “Are you saying you’re on Thia Hall’s side?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"KTDZBTNJTNEXTI6EPNWRGGPOKU","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772953},"content":"“I’m saying that you’ve spent the last three months dismantling decades-old institutions – like the Student Council.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"6TH4YOPF5NHRTNF3KYL4ASW5UU","additional_properties":{"_id":"RVJX6DU5GRHAXJSXD6RED64MDA"},"content":"‘When they see the copper, the triplets think it’s about them gobbing on the cauliflower and turmeric latte crowd - which I’m not even sure is a crime’","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"YTSG4GE2XVG3LEYD4Y22SEOMMY","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772954},"content":"“As Head Girl, it’s <i>my</i> job to be the voice of the students of the school? We don’t need some bunch of dweebs claiming they have the right to speak for everyone.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"6FZ7XEH4IZEMJE6FAMFRCBKXDM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772955},"content":"“And I’m making the point that, to some people, that kind of attitude might come across as fascistic. It might appear to some that you’re attempting to subvert democracy.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"JEY246Y2DVDJTHJ72IP5LUSJEU","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772956},"content":"Honor’s like, “Excuse me?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"IKCHXYKZVBETJOLAYUXQA27KCI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772957},"content":"“And also attempting to close down free speech,” Sorcha goes.","type":"text"},{"_id":"RIPVP2RFNJHYPLJL527B36P2CA","additional_properties":{"_id":"5SLDYCD5V5BAXOHK33SRLUW5RE"},"subtype":"pullquote","type":"quote"},{"_id":"XKF4LDBTNNFL7AYT2Q3PHYBLKA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772958},"content":"I’m there, “How is that magazine still going, Honor? I thought the old man and Hennessy were going to use their influence to get all the advertisers to pull their money.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"FLU4MCIW2NCBBEDRBXXIFAFVVU","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772959},"content":"“That’s a very good point,” Honor goes.","type":"text"},{"_id":"CRZGPNCKTJBBNA4TTAZMLIGKJA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772960},"content":"I’m there, “Is it?” delighted with myself. “Fair focks to me so.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"7MVQEJSH4NACPDCCT4PPCS6NCA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772961},"content":"“As in, like, who’s funding Thia?” she goes. “There are literally no ads in this magazine any more. So, like, who’s actually paying to have it printed?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"IDHXDM7UQFAKLED7YEILGPPWJU","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772962},"content":"Sorcha goes, “Can we maybe change the subject? Honor, you haven’t told us what you want for Christmas yet.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"T2M2TRNOMJFN5EWDSOF7WLEC24","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772963},"content":"Honor’s there, “Someone is backing her financially – and I’m going to make it my business to find out who it is.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"E2ILVB6GTRD57ATIPGYSRHSWQA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772964},"content":"“Even though I can’t believe we’re talking about Christmas already,” Sorcha goes. “Seems like no time ago that we were in Quinta do Lago. Mind you, it was midterm – so it <i>was</i> no time ago?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"I3I5E2ZU5VGMZEGT7JC6EBDS5U","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772965},"content":"I’m like, “How are you going to find out who’s bankrolling the girl, Honor?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"QD64OHXILNF2JMD5ZNVVIHPCUM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772966},"content":"And Honor’s there, “I’m going to ask Hennessy to find out. There’s this, like, private <i>investigator</i> he uses?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UDV5IKOSJBBNDD3FB4GBBSKMOE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772967},"content":"I’m like, “You’re not talking about Flatfoot Frankie, are you?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"NCZSIIVV2RBMTLT5DCVXYZCIOI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772968},"content":"She goes, “Frankie – that’s his name.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"3HQLZAF7F5CSJKTNTPI763L274","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772969},"content":"I’m there, “I can’t believe old Flatfoot is still knocking about. I did port of my transition year work experience with him. He used to get me to name random people and then he’d have their bank account details within, like, half an hour. That’s how I found out that Fionn’s granny left him half-a-million snots in her will. This was back in the day when half-a-million was considered a lot of money.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"ERBMOB3YPRA6DNOZ23K32T3PIY","additional_properties":{"_id":"FWXIGZFW7ZFS3MJY62BNODIZTM"},"subtype":"pullquote","type":"quote"},{"_id":"HPYRG6S3YNFW5MV7WTEKPCIVT4","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772970},"content":"That’s when Sorcha suddenly loses it.","type":"text"},{"_id":"PZEVJMCYP5DX7MMDQ4T3HI7SFY","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772971},"content":"She goes, “Oh my God, <i>why</i> are we still talking about this? I’m trying to talk about Christmas here!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"NEIKSAZP2JHC3HA5HFJFMTX5QE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772972},"content":"I give her a long, sideways look and she’s, like, red in the face.","type":"text"},{"_id":"W4NQQXPMKFAS7IANYQXTQDOKXI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772973},"content":"“Oh! My God!” Honor goes. “It’s you!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"3DOQMWZOMBFJRAHFOFUD3M4ZVY","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772974},"content":"Sorcha’s there, “Me? What’s me? Oh my God, what are you talking about?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"NZSSL5ZIWFDABB6KBF7JUS4S6M","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772975},"content":"Honor goes, “You’re the one who’s bankrolling the magazine! Go on – deny it!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"V6EZ33TUL5EIHLEKV5OMBCNGQI","additional_properties":{"_id":"M66ACM26TBC7VEBOCU5BH764DQ"},"content":"‘We’ve no idea what caused the fire. And we’re sticking to that story’","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"IW3QDPTZRVATJE2BZN56XVZGAI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772976},"content":"Except Sorcha <i>doesn’t </i>deny it?","type":"text"},{"_id":"C5HSKHTSBFH7NCKGSTYOFXVXME","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772977},"content":"She goes, “I happen to think that a free press is the lifeblood of a healthy body politic.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"XJPVVPUN65CGTMVQ4B7KSR22HM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772978},"content":"I’m there, “Jesus, Sorcha – what kind of talk is that?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"KUBJBKTKJNGRBLG46CVX2JW6MI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772979},"content":"She’s like, “I set up the Mount Anville Gazette for that very reason. And I’m proud to say that it was one of my legacy projects. Because power needs eyes on it at all times.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"3N47553ENVALRN3QH2NI4XI22U","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772980},"content":"Honor’s like, “Oh! My! God!” and she storts turning the pages of the magazine madly. “Oh! My focking–”","type":"text"},{"_id":"QJO52OTQCREDXDET4YGNKORUJI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772981},"content":"I’m there, “How much is this actually costing us in terms of shekels, Sorcha?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"4PROFJKQMVC65N4RHV7NK4Z7EE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772982},"content":"Honor goes, “<i>Honor O’Carroll-Kelly’s efforts to close down The MAG are an attempt to subvert democracy and close down free speech</i>,” and she’s, like, reading from it, we’re talking word for word. “<i>A free press is the lifeblood of a health body politic.</i> Oh my God, Thia didn’t write this! You wrote it!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"QK7VS3FIBVHZNKXCMDMMNN5VVE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772983},"content":"Sorcha doesn’t even <i>try</i> to deny it? I would. I’m terrified of Honor.","type":"text"},{"_id":"7UJRKO3EABHDNKHMMHB4V6V4BA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772984},"content":"Sorcha goes, “Thia asked me – as a former Head Girl myself – to write a guest editorial on the age of authoritarianism.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"CTKZ5MABYRAJPC3YUE3M6OCXLA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772985},"content":"Honor’s there, “What, without putting your name to it?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"W5NBD4OL2NAUJA2WWFBYJOLS2I","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772986},"content":"“Yes, such is the climate of fear that <i>you’ve </i>brought about,” Sorcha goes.","type":"text"},{"_id":"NG3SBVCZM5HUZLGEN6GAC3HA5I","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772987},"content":"I’m there, “I can’t believe you’ve gone against your own daughter, Sorcha,” loving not being the bad goy for once in my life.","type":"text"},{"_id":"XS3WT7ITSRE2TC43AZODCVEV6Y","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772988},"content":"Honor’s like, “You compared me to Donald Trump.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"7GT6MDZ6S5DBXOODT7FZJJNRIA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772989},"content":"“I said that a lot of your behaviour – yes – comes across as quite Trumpian,” Sorcha goes. “Refusing to accept the outcome of democratic votes when they don’t go your way. Using the sixth-year ski trip to line your own pockets. Treating anyone who questions the way you use your power as an enemy to be destroyed.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"CWJ7OGABOJCGFIB6CO66M4M6I4","additional_properties":{"_id":1732111184228},"content":"I’m there, “You’re bang out of order, Sorcha – in fairness.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"DU3CIEQDBZGR5DGYL2AVUK7LFI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772991},"content":"Honor goes, “Stop the cor!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"P7PCV5BY7ZEKFKNL24O354H7JM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772992},"content":"Except Sorcha doesn’t. She goes, “I am not stopping the cor. We’re on the Stillorgan Dual Carriageway.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"XTBU6EBULBG4LB4IPFE4G2LEYI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772993},"content":"But Honor throws open the back door while we’re still moving and suddenly the thing is flapping around back there like a fish’s gill.","type":"text"},{"_id":"FXAYV2ZOLBDQFC5SSDDEQAWDRM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772994},"content":"“Stop the focking cor!” she screams.","type":"text"},{"_id":"DYCJFJWERRFOXN23H2TOULNMNU","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772995},"content":"Which Sorcha then has no choice <i>but</i> to do?","type":"text"},{"_id":"KV6KNYSIGVHHRIFNUEEN52ICIQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772996},"content":"Sorcha’s like, “What are you going to do? Get the bus the rest of the way?” and she’s really putting it up to her.","type":"text"},{"_id":"A4HFIMMRAFG6VNXPVO5LDKNOGE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772997},"content":"“No,” Honor goes, “I’m going to get an Uber.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"FL2VSB6HKZANXHAJYANKL7YNQI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772998},"content":"Sorcha’s there, “I make no apologies for saying it, Honor, that you are a danger to democracy. Watch the road there as you’re getting out.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"YCVH4EHDPJFG3HVXF3EWDVCFU4","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925772999},"content":"But Honor goes, “You’ve made an enemy of me now. Bad move ... <i>Mom</i>!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"3ASQ3OVYA5BNBMADOCCPCZWTEI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925773000},"content":"Honor gets out and slams the door shut.","type":"text"},{"_id":"6YDBOKXUXBE2FIXXQUFDVYYQMY","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925773001},"content":"Sorcha’s like, “What’s she going to do to me? Seriously, what can she do?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"IQF7OG3G2VEEJMYQZZIORYIIVE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731925773002},"content":"But she sounds genuinely scared. And from bitter experience, I would say there’s every reason she <i>should</i> be?","type":"text"}],"content_restrictions":{"content_code":"premium"},"credits":{"by":[{"additional_properties":{"original":{"byline":"Ross O'Carroll-Kelly"}},"name":"Ross O'Carroll-Kelly"}]},"description":{"basic":"Honor’s like, ‘You compared me to Donald Trump’"},"display_date":"2024-11-23T05:00:00Z","headlines":{"basic":"Sorcha goes, ‘I make no apologies for saying it, Honor. 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Barney does this all the toyum.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"ISXNG7AUD5DNHAAU4NSCEQCEIE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387643},"content":"Borney being his mate in the Gords who I’m paying five hundred yoyos to – yeah, no – scare my children straight.","type":"text"},{"_id":"IVZAPHWMMFBO5AL4HCCWC2INKY","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387644},"content":"I’m there, “I’m just wondering is it a bit –”","type":"text"},{"_id":"MTPFCTTCDBAV7F6JOEWBYMYZKU","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387645},"content":"He goes, “A bit what?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"4BSMZGUFHFBQVIVCHNIRTONS34","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387646},"content":"“A bit <i>extreme</i>?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"ONLLGIIETNFRZKQZ3KH2LZU45M","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387647},"content":"“<a href=\"https://www.irishtimes.com/podcasts/ross-ocarroll-kelly/weve-no-idea-what-caused-the-fire-and-were-sticking-to-that-story/\" target=\"_blank\">Rosser, thee burdened down yisser house</a>.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"RHLG3G7FBNGHXNXZ7CSWQIM4EQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387648},"content":"“They didn’t burn it down. Only their bedroom was actually destroyed. The rest was, like, <i>water</i> damage?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"SOPCO2IGXFC5ZIDXX5LR4O27OE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387649},"content":"“And look where you’ve ended up libbon.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"B27255DCGNAJVDX6RIHDOYUWZQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387650},"content":"Yeah, no, Stoney-focking-basher. In Sorcha’s old pair’s aportment. Until the place has been fixed up, which they’re saying could be, like, Morch of next year.","type":"text"},{"_id":"24EQ7GJYRBFKRDMDCMD32I4WCM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387651},"content":"Sorcha’s old man walks into the kitchen then and – totally out of left field – goes, “We flush the toilet in this home.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"QYWLUUTNN5HFVHPRZADXT326NM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387652},"content":"I’m there, “Excuse me?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"77PHAEFVWNE3PLFF5KFMKOH534","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387653},"content":"He doesn’t even acknowledge Ronan’s <i>presence</i>, by the way?","type":"text"},{"_id":"VPOXWYNFAZER5MWTCL6LXRH4KA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387654},"content":"He goes, “I’m sure you’re used to my daughter doing everything for you. But while you’re living under my roof, you will learn to flush the toilet yourself.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"DV6N6ON5KZANNATRUBBZ7AHUKQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387655},"content":"I’m there, “<i>Your</i> roof. You don’t have a roof. Your roof is somebody else’s floor.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"BLML2EXJLFCPJABJISCVMTLURQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387656},"content":"“Do you think you’d be here if it wasn’t for Sorcha? I’d happily see you out on the street – you and those children of yours.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"6EUQP7TI3VE2JCM2OZNIPUHL3Q","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387657},"content":"Yeah, no, that’s how he talks about his own grandkids.","type":"text"},{"_id":"N5HHT6G6QFBSLAI6U7NSGCEMH4","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387658},"content":"I’m there, “I’m not sure I can put up with five months of this.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"M5YV4REH2VHHNOCEXPDUHTTCOY","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387659},"content":"He goes, “I’m sure you could find somewhere else to live – if you really put your mind to it.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"YS4YUCBWCRAX5IIC4R7WIERNH4","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387660},"content":"I suddenly hear this loud, smashing sound coming from outside.","type":"text"},{"_id":"VOTFRQT7XVEWRPS76E45TJI67M","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387661},"content":"“The fock was that?” I go.","type":"text"},{"_id":"GMGGPWBMFFBZXF7CSKPR5Q6Y7M","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387662},"content":"The dude is like, “Your children are dropping Sorcha’s mother’s plant pots off the balcony. Do you want me to deal with that as well as flushing the toilet – and wiping the seat for you?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"AQCHO4PQYRFJZER2MZUPACEBYI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387663},"content":"Yeah, no, my aim wouldn’t be great – which is random, I know, coming from a kicker.","type":"text"},{"_id":"AFZPE7UUUBBP3HUBKIDQ6QP6DQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387664},"content":"The dude focks off then and I turn around to Ronan and go, “Okay, let’s do it.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"KUP3MN5QJZBQFL4XBOS4RASC2U","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387665},"content":"He’s there, “Are you shewer?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UJWT4CA2L5GTXDSN7XKH5BQ5CI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387666},"content":"“Ro,” I go, “they’re out of control. I could have died in that fire.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"5PX6K35AX5ALHAZYA4ORDE33MA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387667},"content":"So Ronan whips out his phone and rings his mate, Borney. Half an hour later, the buzzer goes and I let the dude in. He’s a smiley dude but he’s built like a focking Portaloo.","type":"text"},{"_id":"PFONYUYYA5BXXNZUPZRVZCFKPE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387668},"content":"He’s like, “Brian, Johnny and Leo – is that the names?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"MSEWOWS2CVEQ3J7CEEWUXJU74U","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387669},"content":"I’m there, “Yeah, no, I’d big hopes at the stort.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"GMVT3RBBQZFMLMRHR5J2BD63AU","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387670},"content":"He goes, “Sure, lookish, we all need a steer at some point in our lives. Like this one here.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"C2IBZENKJZFLRFNABXI4Y43V4U","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387671},"content":"He nods at Ronan.","type":"text"},{"_id":"DPJYF6SNHVHHFENON5B2FUUDRQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387672},"content":"He’s like, “How many times did your mammy ask me to throw you in the cells?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UKO4W5QBHNG6NFTP2GMA2EMP5Q","additional_properties":{"_id":"LOAKGFBZ6FGSXD54YCICHORWQE"},"type":"image"},{"_id":"DWAEOLTNOBBFTIHVHKRXNGJKMA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387673},"content":"“It was more than a few,” Ronan goes, laughing at the memory.","type":"text"},{"_id":"TQX3JIDWC5D6RKYQH7BMKP4OHM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387674},"content":"Borney’s there, “Go and get them,” which is what I end <i>up</i> doing?","type":"text"},{"_id":"ML3SPKENT5CFVGZDMMBNGVONDY","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387675},"content":"The triplets are now spitting over the balcony onto the heads of the – in fairness – mostly hipsters below.","type":"text"},{"_id":"NA2WIGKLBRH43EM7GAMOBRKOU4","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387676},"content":"I’m like, “Goys, there’s someone here who wants to talk to you,” and they follow me inside. When they see the copper standing there, the three of them turn white. They obviously think it’s about them gobbing on the foraged cauliflower and turmeric latte crowd, which I’m not even sure is a crime.","type":"text"},{"_id":"XO2L4LU4EVG7XOKFS2HC26BMQM","additional_properties":{"_id":"GEQUMVXBXFB3HCVFOLCS6QEWJI"},"subtype":"pullquote","type":"quote"},{"_id":"XBETB74SGBHAJCGGQZ5DUDKJHE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387677},"content":"Borney gets straight into character.","type":"text"},{"_id":"XY6TKZ6RARBNLHESVDC565XPIM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387678},"content":"He goes, “I’m arresting you for causing criminal damage to a house in Killiney. You do not have to say anything, but anything you do say may be used in evidence against you.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"LE4BBWHEM5CPZIWDDIAFI4YVCQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387679},"content":"The three of them are in, like, genuine shock, but they go quietly, walking out the door ahead of Borney, who gives us a big wink and goes, “I’ll have them back to you in a few hours.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"44ODWEU3XNGJVOZN6OUU2BUVGY","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387680},"content":"Ronan can tell that I’m worried. He goes, “Thee’ll be mustard, Rosser. He’ll thrun them in a Peter for a couple of hours and you won’t know yisser selves, the diffordence in them.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"Y6KVZGM4RZH5THFEVVFGQKZKJM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387681},"content":"I’m there, “Yeah, no, you’re right. It has to be done.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"WH3CSUQD7NHAJNWTV6RVCNWC5Y","additional_properties":{"_id":"QNRIOUMLAJDTXPFLFF6AQWD2VQ"},"content":"Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘I wonder sometimes are these kids definitely mine’","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"WWVQHPBOHRHTLNCNXVYCY7BC3E","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387682},"content":"“Rosser, the last time Barney locked me up, I was 10 years old and me ma found a map of the Bank of Ireland on the Ballygall Road under me bed. I got it off Showtime Sal and Johnny the Rat. Ten hours I was locked up. I nearly went off me nut. Barney says to me, ‘Could you do ten years of that?’ Let’s just say me career plans changed overnight.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"JRWQ753E5NEJ3OSZZH4DLF6J7Q","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387683},"content":"It’s shortly afterwards that Ronan’s phone ends up ringing. He answers and goes, “Barney, calm dowun. Take a brett. Where are you?” and then he hangs up and goes, “Mon, Rosser.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"7RW4OT4OQJH7FNLHRJOEO5ZMY4","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387684},"content":"I’m like, “What the fock is going on?” as I’m chasing Ronan down the stairs, across the forecourt and then out onto the street. We haven’t gone far before I get my answer.","type":"text"},{"_id":"YYMFAKBCNJGADHU537UD5BCRG4","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387685},"content":"There’s, like, a Gorda cor and it’s, like, bent around a lamppost and people are standing around, eating their fermented acorn waffles and drinking green juices out of mason jors, looking shocked.","type":"text"},{"_id":"M5725OM25BDJBH7ZZ2KVB5LXO4","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387686},"content":"Me and Ro race to the front of the cor. Borney is sitting in the driver’s seat. The airbag has gone off in his face.","type":"text"},{"_id":"S53G4LEE2NDZZO2F7LD5QIQZLE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387687},"content":"Ronan’s like, “What happened, Barney?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UJ5BP7QGSBHFJNHK7XUV3HD24E","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387688},"content":"“The one with the glasses,” he goes, meaning obviously Leo, “made a grab for me handcuffs.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"AI5JEIH3WRDVHJDKL74URKF6AQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387689},"content":"I notice that – yeah, no – the dude’s left wrist is cuffed to the steering wheel.","type":"text"},{"_id":"CQYT5RIJ2VGTFNCLNWFXVFLXWI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387690},"content":"The back door is open and there’s, like, no sign of Brian, Johnny and Leo.","type":"text"},{"_id":"TIJNULQ275CT3IUGY4CYEEAS3U","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387691},"content":"I’m like, “Dude, where are my children?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"PZRIIMOCM5B4VNRZLJH2DJSLNQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387692},"content":"“Over there,” he goes, nodding in the direction of three boys, who are holding up the traffic by fighting in the middle of the road. Brian is wearing a Gorda hat – presumably Borney’s – and Johnny is trying to hit him over the head with an extendable truncheon, while Leo is screaming obscenities about the Gordai into Borney’s walkie-talkie.","type":"text"},{"_id":"QMAG6NRAAZFDVCT2737B6Y2KOM","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387693},"content":"“I’ve seen some mad kids in my time,” the poor dude goes, “but I’ve never seen anything like them.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"REWQB5Q7K5AGZEI5NISXWEG3WA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387694},"content":"I’m there, “Can you maybe call for back-up? Get them to send another car?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"GBOOYPT7TBCYTJLD6VSR232WYQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387695},"content":"Ronan goes, “The fook do you think this is, Rosser, Uber?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"VP325Q45D5BQ5DRCHMULPYWRXI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387696},"content":"Borney’s like, “I could lose my job for this.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"DZAKQ23XPBHSNK3IIW3HA3MHPQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731326387697},"content":"And I’m there, “Right, well, thanks for trying, Borney. Okay, Brian, give the nice man back his pepper spray.”","type":"text"}],"content_restrictions":{"content_code":"premium"},"credits":{"by":[{"additional_properties":{"original":{"byline":"Ross O'Carroll-Kelly"}},"name":"Ross O'Carroll-Kelly"}]},"description":{"basic":"There’s a Gorda cor bent around a lamppost and people are standing around looking shocked. 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I bought patchouli oil for the diffuser. I want the whole house to smell of it.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"LCJSI5L6L5A7XBAJPLZBK64XUI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579010},"content":"“Lucky us.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"TNMVSSPRTREZREM5TX3W5S77KM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579011},"content":"“What are you doing?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"Y2JE3K5NVBF67CEION26HPSKPU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579012},"content":"“You don’t want to know. It’s boring.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"YJXHOFQV7VDLTCVJXZWHF7QIMM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579013},"content":"Full disclosure, I’ve written out the alphabet in the back of my famous Rugby Tactics Book and I’m trying to think of the name of a woman I’ve been with for each letter. I’m up to 21 of however many there are – 26, 27?","type":"text"},{"_id":"GQX72E2J4VDPLAC4JEDUFLIXIY","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579014},"content":"I’m there, “Why are you giving me a heads-up, by the way?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"PQEX6QNA4JCRRKNFGT7B76SZI4","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579015},"content":"She goes, “Just in case something happened while I was away that you don’t want me to know about and you have to hide the evidence.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"3FC7BMNPRFHH3L2RLX7A5TZILI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579016},"content":"I laugh. I’m like, “Yeah, no, those days are hopefully long gone, Sorcha.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"JEHADKKPKJEILBMJYQP4ITSNK4","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579017},"content":"Suddenly, straight out of left field, she goes, “Oh my God, Ross, the house is on fire!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"XLYKPW56GJH65LJY7XGAKF7KEU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579018},"content":"And I end up having to ask her to repeat herself.","type":"text"},{"_id":"UJRQCB3M2JDJDBQB4YJJPY4AEM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579019},"content":"She’s like, “The focking house! Is on fire!” this time at the top of her voice. “I’m halfway down Vico Road and I can see it from here! Oh my God! Ross, the children!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"LCTEK3DJRBG7XM57AT7KZ7WOXI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579020},"content":"I hang up, jump up out of the chair and race out into the hallway. The upstairs landing is filled with smoke. I chorge up the stairs, shouting, “Honor! Brian! Johnny! Leo! The house is on fire! Get out!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"VBPO4IM255AXNM4CBCS75LD42I","additional_properties":{"_id":"GXOCFMCSMVFFRKGJGDUAUXKQIQ"},"subtype":"pullquote","type":"quote"},{"_id":"XESU2ZVVHBGPXLD2APH5TUHSJI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579021},"content":"That’s when I hear a voice – Honor’s voice – go, “We’re fine, Dad!” and I realise that it’s coming from outside.","type":"text"},{"_id":"V2VGFZF7SRACVJBC553NMID3DE","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579022},"content":"I tip downstairs and head out to the front gorden. The four of them are standing there in their pyjamas.","type":"text"},{"_id":"FDRR74NZTRCXNKS4Y5SEZCUL24","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579023},"content":"I’m there, “Er, you wouldn’t have thought of telling me, no?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"ZTR7T5AIGREGVOFQJ7UWTNGLXA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579024},"content":"Honor goes, “I shouted your name and you didn’t answer.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"RECZ7T4DSBFR3MTF7ZEQLIA3PE","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579025},"content":"“I was having a nap. I was doing some of my famous inside-my-head thinking and my brain, as usual, shorted out.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"E3PYY37DKZEWPBWFSNMHLG2ZDQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579026},"content":"“We just presumed you went to Finnegan’s for a sneaky pint like you did every night while Mom was away.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"HJ4LWZTGARFPPJUIRWILSMMR7Y","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579027},"content":"“Maybe don’t tell her that.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"3H4KZUTH6FHVLNZEGW4LUCSX74","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579028},"content":"“Anyway,” she goes, “the fire brigade is on its way.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"6YFZV42ZBVHHFETQ6SCVAERUZ4","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579029},"content":"I’m there, “What happened?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"R3OWBF7PXZDUNPKKUVTKWJXBTQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579030},"content":"“Leo let off a firework.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"HR65LDKFKZDYRIFPEVBLBGO7II","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579031},"content":"I turn around to him and I’m like, “Where the fock did you get fireworks?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"7LW35HU2GVBERL4FVMS7OSKXOI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579032},"content":"He goes, “I bought them. Off a boy.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"S2HIVDURTBB25OHFKXRX5HUGEA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579033},"content":"“What boy?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"JXKODAU2VBGELBOCPEBFZIHCLM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579034},"content":"“A boy in school. I told you and you said you didn’t care.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"A4KUDRAJLFD25GHCDNIN2PISYE","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579035},"content":"“Well, it’s possible I wasn’t listening. But why the fock did you let it off in the house?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"3XJWPTO3CZCSJJ27DYC7UQ5COY","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579036},"content":"He shrugs his little shoulders.","type":"text"},{"_id":"XLKZZC7WWVH6VP3EFUH6EFGHH4","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579037},"content":"I’m there, “Are you stupid?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"3KVSQAQHLVFBTL5764QKP43KG4","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579038},"content":"He is stupid. He takes after me.","type":"text"},{"_id":"4UMTZI3O75CXVOC6VWWJDDUELM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579039},"content":"Sorcha’s cor pulls into the driveway. She gets out, giving it, “Oh my God! My babies! Thank God you’re safe!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UGQYNTVUDFE7JPH4BURQAEVHPY","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579040},"content":"Out of the corner of my mouth, I go, “Don’t tell her about the fireworks, okay? There’ll be focking war.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UOU2RYNPTNFGVMAAWVNUOZIYNA","additional_properties":{"_id":"G2UXCBL7QBHPDARTUEM6FG32RQ"},"content":"‘People in the crowd are staring at Honor like she’s a cold sore on debs night’","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"C5RAA76TRNE55NWGXMGFX7ET7Q","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579041},"content":"Sorcha storts hugging the four of them, going, “I don’t care what happens to the house as long as you kids are safe!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"V2SS7FQ7JBGGLKXSHMAA6NLZWY","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579042},"content":"I’m there, “Would I have time to run in there and grab a few bits?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"ZXR7N2AT3VBV3PRWXINDOSDOTU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579043},"content":"She’s like, “Excuse me?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"6KAU5X4UGFAMFCSIEFTRKKXGBA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579044},"content":"“I’m thinking in terms of my tactics book obviously. And the Caelan Doris jersey I bought at that auction ... ”","type":"text"},{"_id":"MIRFHUTW4ZEDBFAZ7LJJ64JVTU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579045},"content":"“You are not going back in the house.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"7BRYIBD5QBGSPIUGXCQRNHSBZM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579046},"content":"“But only a tiny bit of it is on actual fire.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"2MY6K2ZTUREAJL2SAWZBHKYHAM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579047},"content":"“Fire spreads, Ross. By the way, do we even know how it storted?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"G6LGCLVMJBFCPJJS5XDK5QVTUQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579048},"content":"I’m like, “No, it’s a total mystery – isn’t it, goys?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UL2YDFBOK5CITBDYQX7JT5XF7I","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579049},"content":"The boys all nod.","type":"text"},{"_id":"RBJZZDWVSRER3IKNHPWK752VQ4","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579050},"content":"“It’s their bedroom that’s on fire,” Sorcha goes. “Goys, was one of you playing with matches?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"LLCSPYQY55CZBIF2WJAAAQ52A4","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579051},"content":"They’re all like, “No.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"QQ2TJFFKRJHK5F65X6BEYRFFDM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579052},"content":"I love their ability to lie without conscience. They get that from me as well.","type":"text"},{"_id":"UA7YSQCXMFEGLK6YCGRHZUSXOA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579053},"content":"Sorcha goes, “Ross, you didn’t let them have fireworks, did you?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"CLWPUKCE6JBJBGZHW3SD4LJ3MA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579054},"content":"I’m there, “Fireworks? What do you take me for?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"UHOKMUCGPNAQNFYNBWTHDF55EA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579055},"content":"She’s like, “My apologies, Ross.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"3NAL6KQWLRENZCVJ25QWCBQJME","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579056},"content":"Ten seconds later, a fire engine – lights flashing and sirens sounding – pulls up in the driveway. Six dudes get out. Four of them stort getting the hose ready, while one walks around the house to see how much of it is on fire and another tips over to talk to us.","type":"text"},{"_id":"OEZZLLYLCBEMHFLRWSL7L2CVUU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579057},"content":"He’s like, “Is everyone out of the house?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"HBK5RKLBWFCN5EXGSWT6LI2KUA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579058},"content":"He’s a looker. And Sorcha definitely notices.","type":"text"},{"_id":"G3DQ3ADCDJDITNURDJT6SMTDUY","additional_properties":{"_id":"WU427SSSKVBDVE6MCOELRBCKFE"},"subtype":"pullquote","type":"quote"},{"_id":"7T44ZLZR5ZHLJJI3HS7B6NN75M","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579059},"content":"She’s there, “Yes – thank God, officer. I don’t care about the house as long as my precious, precious family are safe.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"WPMRCJT4AFDN3FSNS4Q3DZSGWQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579060},"content":"Her voice always gets about three postcodes posher when she’s flirting with someone.","type":"text"},{"_id":"AXAH3EEUNRHM5K27LGPGL4UUCE","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579061},"content":"The dude who was checking out the house comes back and says the fire is contained to the bedroom. They should be able to put it out quite quickly but there will be a lot of water damage.","type":"text"},{"_id":"LDYCIYUMYJDLJPY7DXDMJE6TPI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579062},"content":"I’m like, “Given that, could I quickly nip in and grab my Rugby Tactics Book?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"WYPQNJCWLZGCRNVSKVTBJZ32O4","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579063},"content":"He’s there, “We can’t let you into the house, Sir, until the fire is out. It would be helpful to know what caused it.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"PDTZUCJSE5CMNATJHZZTZAHIQ4","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579064},"content":"“We were just mentioning that we’ve no idea,” I go. “And we’re sticking to that story.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"7FVGJ32Q2VEANJPY7WUXMCCF7U","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579065},"content":"He goes, “Did someone let off a firework in the house?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"U4VPDOP6OJFY5JRH4O6BX66TXM","additional_properties":{"_id":"WR5VXWJCNFAHFAFLEEUIHBLF4A"},"content":"‘The thought of booking a table for one at Shanahan’s on the Green got me through my prison sentence’","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"LUA7LXNMOZCZBJ3GABSGSEP3YY","additional_properties":{"_id":1730721579066},"content":"I’m like, “Now <i>you’re</i> saying fireworks. 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Yeah, no, JP is running the Dublin City Marathon and I’ve turned up to cheer him on, as well as – obviously – the rest of the field.","type":"text"},{"_id":"CLWW75IQ2NDKBMWUQVGV37YJEE","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972428},"content":"I’m shouting encouragement at everyone. I’m like, “You’re doing great! You’re smashing it out of the ballpork! You’re all winners, as far as I’m concerned!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"TX5O2MLCS5E6BFY5N5XOWPEZIU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972429},"content":"Honor – it shames me to say it – is also shouting at people. She’s going, “Are you out of your focking minds? Do you know how much damage you’re doing to your bodies? You know you’re all going to end up with orthritis and osteoporosis?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"BEX4J55KRZFRJALZUOJTBV3QPA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972430},"content":"The two- or three-hundred people who’ve also turned up to cheer on either loved ones or total strangers are giving <i>me</i> daggers – like <i>I’ve </i>any control over my daughter and the things she does.","type":"text"},{"_id":"T3LGPDVBMRG5BGEKIRIJZJD5EU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972431},"content":"I’m there, “Honor, maybe <i>stop</i> hurling abuse at the runners?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"7VFASRNPN5GHRH7RKFVN2NTL4Q","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972432},"content":"But she goes, “I’m giving them sound medical advice, Dad. I don’t understand why anyone would put their body through that.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"6XI7AWEXDFCCVAVC6BQBH7S3RE","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972433},"content":"“Because it’s an achievement, Honor.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"IDWDQV7NYFGRLK7CKE7HNGLSWA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972434},"content":"“What, having the knees of a 90-year-old at the age of 37?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"K76I4LLCH5AWJITNP4WWP3QSKY","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972435},"content":"“No, I mean being able to say that you finished a marathon. There’s only, like, a select group of us who can say that.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"6IW63KWWYBBIFL67PS3IFSJRVE","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972436},"content":"She gets straight on to her phone, of course.","type":"text"},{"_id":"B7SVCTYDHVDM7G4LUBVKCYGOLU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972437},"content":"“One million people per year,” she goes. “That’s according to Google.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"2ESKK3DKGVBNDFYGWY7KUCPFHY","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972438},"content":"I’m there, “Well, one million people per year then. That’s a pretty select group. And JP is going to hopefully be one of them.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"XKHUEWCEERFXPFFOTW3HIXYY5A","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972439},"content":"She goes, “Will I look up the number of people who are suffering with debilitating joint pain?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"SIHVFRQKJVATVP6QJMN44TSOPI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972440},"content":"I’m like, “Er, no, Honor,” because a lot of people in the crowd are already staring at the girl like she’s a cold sore on debs night. Instead, I go back to shouting encouragement at the runners. I’m going, “Remember, pain is temporary – quitting is forever!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"QOO2CLXAWBAF7FABERZBS2UQ4I","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972441},"content":"I look at my phone and I check where JP is on the tracker. He’s just turned off Roebuck Road on to Foster Avenue.","type":"text"},{"_id":"JJGJTS7G75EZZL4S3PCQTYZ7OM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972442},"content":"“Pain is your body’s way of telling you to stop!” Honor is telling every bunch of runners that passes us. “Give up now! It’ll feel amazing!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"SX5JYXCUCVA2XFJDCPURD5KYCM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972443},"content":"I turn around to her and I make the mistake of going, “You’re only saying that because you don’t know what it feels like to actually <i>achieve</i> something in sport?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"5BIAKICYQVEKDCSG2IE4GOICZI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972444},"content":"She’s there, “Nor do you.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"OBUN6SGFFBBWVD4BXYIBXP2YEE","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972445},"content":"I’m like, “Er, I won a Leinster Schools Senior Cup, Honor. And I can tell you for a fact that they don’t give out a million of those every year. And I finished this marathon.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"ZXWOWCLH2NBYHJW2Q2KBFHEFAU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972446},"content":"She goes, “When was this anyway?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"FOFMGQX2YRDZTIR4BNVYBYIMZM","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972447},"content":"I’m there, “It was back in the day. There’s a photograph of me crossing the line on the bookcase in the livingroom.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"QPUSYU6YLNBEPAIZDJ7I5HFQVU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972448},"content":"“The one of you finishing just behind a man dressed as a toothbrush?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"VNDJ33F7IJAZXMXCSQF2KLEMQI","additional_properties":{"_id":"HHH3FKEIXRHDJJ5NKFP3ANPTBU"},"subtype":"pullquote","type":"quote"},{"_id":"GRFHQGNKRZFV5KSAFGGXAVTVZI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972449},"content":"“Look, don’t get me wrong, Honor. I’m very proud of you and everything you’ve achieved in life. You won the election to become Head Girl of Mount Anville. And you’ve – how did you put it? – consolidated your power base by limiting the number of places available on the school ski trip then wait-listing anyone who didn’t make it to keep them in line. And – again, your words – you’ve suppressed dissent by closing down the school magazine. But I’ll always have my Leinster Schools Senior Cup winner’s medal – obviously, not literally, because they took it off me for doping – and I’ll always have my medal for finishing the Dublin City Marathon.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"E4ZXFMAOFZDHVHYKZP2BCC2C4M","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972450},"content":"She goes quiet then. It’s, like, a major burn for the girl. 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It was definitely in the top percentage.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"JHPE3EIIQJE3VFHYFYYJJKWJHU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972456},"content":"She’s like, “But what <i>time </i>did you finish in?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"VUGGOVYFX5AETF7BQCZTSBJBC4","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972457},"content":"I straight away know what her game is here. She’s going to try to run it faster than me, thereby undermining my achievement.","type":"text"},{"_id":"TQ42NYANSNCK3NO3RW3KUFSVHQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972458},"content":"I’m there, “I’m pretty sure it was, like, three hours and 20 minutes – somewhere in and around that ballpork.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"D4AEUFJWBFACXOJP7QSLJCACYI","additional_properties":{"_id":"6VAIDEKLFVCTXAKO3YJNLPMJCE"},"content":"‘The thought of booking a table for one at Shanahan’s on the Green got me through my prison sentence’","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"25EYPF2K6JGZRNJOOALN4GIJ34","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972459},"content":"She calls up a number on her phone, then dials it. It turns out that it’s the number for home.","type":"text"},{"_id":"J2TZDMA66RFLFLEVRB65NWFSTA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972460},"content":"She goes, “Mom, can you do me a favour? Can you go into the living room? Okay, you know that photograph of Dad crossing the line in the marathon? The one where the toothbrush beat him in the final sprint – yeah, that one.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"C3VWCHZM3FEH7N5LFWGPYI5KKA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972461},"content":"I’m like, “This is very childish, Honor.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"7RRG4MZAIFCWBHGJPJNQ3JI5WY","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972462},"content":"She’s there, “What time does it say on the clock above his head?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"SNCZOZMVMVHIPKFYQJWT2AXC24","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972463},"content":"I’m like, “Why are you so hung up on my time?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"BPHTOY3V3ZD3HHT4OQ4ZWSRJHQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972464},"content":"She goes, “<i>Four</i> hours and 20 minutes! Okay, thanks, Mom,” and then she hangs up. “Oh my God, you’re such a focking liar!”","type":"text"},{"_id":"AQT5GJYC7FDZLMKLDBFCHJXEKY","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972465},"content":"I’m there, “Finishing the thing is the real achievement, Honor.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"2LYDYDQV25BIRIPY7URMOTVYF4","additional_properties":{"_id":"AZDT54JBUNCJBOP62L6XKD3VOA"},"subtype":"pullquote","type":"quote"},{"_id":"PMY64LUC6RHSHE4DXF35FYHQ6U","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972466},"content":"“Yeah, you’re only saying that because you know if I can run it faster than you, it will totally undermine what you did.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"SYCRYRUVJVHTHIT4OZ3VGMTMEE","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972467},"content":"“The thought never entered my head.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"NSTATT4DV5CHDKHO4DWPTENQQE","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972468},"content":"“I’m actually going to stort training tomorrow.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"ETG2553H4BB6PBRHGUXNYDDKUA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972469},"content":"“The one thing I would say about running on the roads, Honor, is that you can end up with, like, serious, serious<i> joint </i>problems?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"I76PVNOSF5FWBFOXWKLKZ4CN7I","additional_properties":{"_id":"M6LMYAEXEBEB7EUY4WXVP7DT4I"},"content":"JP is staring at me like I’ve said I’m really enjoying his old dear’s OnlyFans account","type":"interstitial_link"},{"_id":"YNAXDKM2CRA7FGQVK2YK4AVNLU","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972470},"content":"“Oh my God, you’re pathetic.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"XEPZ2R472BDKLPIZMMLGXVCWWA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972471},"content":"“Orthritis, osteoporosis – and that’s only the stort of it. I actually think I damaged my lumbar vertebrae just trying to finish the thing. Was it worth it? Looking back now, I would have to say no.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"BFH675RRU5AORNAEMEDXHNF7EA","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972472},"content":"“You’re scared that I’m going to beat your time, aren’t you?”","type":"text"},{"_id":"LUMWTFKXJRFNTAJ6PWUVWWAMPI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972473},"content":"“No, I’d be honestly delighted for you.”","type":"text"},{"_id":"3T2NO3CC3JDU3DNXLKIPOL7E3Y","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972474},"content":"Even as a highly skilled liar, I can’t look the girl in the eye. I check the tracker and I realise that I’ve somehow managed to miss JP. He’s passing the UCD flyover.","type":"text"},{"_id":"PW4WYARBIRG6BBAVBYFMA7EPNI","additional_properties":{"_id":1730116972475},"content":"Honor goes, “Oh my God, look at you! 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