CINXE.COM
<!doctype html><html lang="en"><head><title data-rh="true">Unlearning How To Be A Woman. Imagine you have this well inside of… | by Jamie Varon | Medium</title><meta data-rh="true" charset="utf-8"/><meta data-rh="true" name="viewport" content="width=device-width,minimum-scale=1,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1"/><meta data-rh="true" name="theme-color" content="#000000"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:app:name:iphone" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:app:id:iphone" content="828256236"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:ios:app_name" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:ios:app_store_id" content="828256236"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:android:package" content="com.medium.reader"/><meta data-rh="true" property="fb:app_id" content="542599432471018"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:site_name" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:type" content="article"/><meta data-rh="true" property="article:published_time" content="2016-02-10T22:47:45.702Z"/><meta data-rh="true" name="title" content="Unlearning How To Be A Woman. Imagine you have this well inside of… | by Jamie Varon | Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:title" content="Unlearning How To Be A Woman"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:android:url" content="medium://p/d0d8fa931c20"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:ios:url" content="medium://p/d0d8fa931c20"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:android:app_name" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" name="description" content="Imagine you have this well inside of you which is full of ideas, philosophies, thoughts unique only to you. Imagine there’s talent in so much of what you do, that you feel possessed by your need to…"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:description" content="Imagine you have this well inside of you which is full of ideas, philosophies, thoughts unique only to you. Imagine there’s talent in so…"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:url" content="https://medium.com/@jamievaron/unlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:web:url" content="https://medium.com/@jamievaron/unlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:image" content="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1200/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg"/><meta data-rh="true" property="article:author" content="https://medium.com/@jamievaron"/><meta data-rh="true" name="author" content="Jamie Varon"/><meta data-rh="true" name="robots" content="index,noarchive,follow,max-image-preview:large"/><meta data-rh="true" name="referrer" content="unsafe-url"/><meta data-rh="true" property="twitter:title" content="Unlearning How To Be A Woman"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:site" content="@Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:app:url:iphone" content="medium://p/d0d8fa931c20"/><meta data-rh="true" property="twitter:description" content="Imagine you have this well inside of you which is full of ideas, philosophies, thoughts unique only to you. Imagine there’s talent in so…"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:image:src" content="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1200/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:card" content="summary_large_image"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:creator" content="@jamievaron"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:label1" content="Reading time"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:data1" content="4 min read"/><link data-rh="true" rel="icon" href="https://miro.medium.com/v2/5d8de952517e8160e40ef9841c781cdc14a5db313057fa3c3de41c6f5b494b19"/><link data-rh="true" rel="search" type="application/opensearchdescription+xml" title="Medium" href="/osd.xml"/><link data-rh="true" rel="apple-touch-icon" sizes="152x152" href="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:304:304/10fd5c419ac61637245384e7099e131627900034828f4f386bdaa47a74eae156"/><link data-rh="true" rel="apple-touch-icon" sizes="120x120" href="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:240:240/10fd5c419ac61637245384e7099e131627900034828f4f386bdaa47a74eae156"/><link data-rh="true" rel="apple-touch-icon" sizes="76x76" href="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:152:152/10fd5c419ac61637245384e7099e131627900034828f4f386bdaa47a74eae156"/><link data-rh="true" rel="apple-touch-icon" sizes="60x60" href="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:120:120/10fd5c419ac61637245384e7099e131627900034828f4f386bdaa47a74eae156"/><link data-rh="true" rel="mask-icon" href="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:1000:1000/7*GAOKVe--MXbEJmV9230oOQ.png" color="#171717"/><link data-rh="true" rel="preconnect" href="https://glyph.medium.com" crossOrigin=""/><link data-rh="true" id="glyph_preload_link" rel="preload" as="style" type="text/css" href="https://glyph.medium.com/css/unbound.css"/><link data-rh="true" id="glyph_link" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://glyph.medium.com/css/unbound.css"/><link data-rh="true" rel="author" href="https://medium.com/@jamievaron"/><link data-rh="true" rel="canonical" href="https://medium.com/@jamievaron/unlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20"/><link data-rh="true" rel="alternate" href="android-app://com.medium.reader/https/medium.com/p/d0d8fa931c20"/><script data-rh="true" type="application/ld+json">{"@context":"http:\u002F\u002Fschema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","image":["https:\u002F\u002Fmiro.medium.com\u002Fv2\u002Fresize:fit:1200\u002F1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg"],"url":"https:\u002F\u002Fmedium.com\u002F@jamievaron\u002Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20","dateCreated":"2015-12-01T00:02:33.866Z","datePublished":"2015-12-01T00:02:33.866Z","dateModified":"2018-06-04T20:08:01.916Z","headline":"Unlearning How To Be A Woman - Jamie Varon - Medium","name":"Unlearning How To Be A Woman - Jamie Varon - Medium","description":"Imagine you have this well inside of you which is full of ideas, philosophies, thoughts unique only to you. Imagine there’s talent in so much of what you do, that you feel possessed by your need to…","identifier":"d0d8fa931c20","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"Jamie Varon","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fmedium.com\u002F@jamievaron"},"creator":["Jamie Varon"],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Medium","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fmedium.com\u002F","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","width":272,"height":60,"url":"https:\u002F\u002Fmiro.medium.com\u002Fv2\u002Fresize:fit:544\u002F7*V1_7XP4snlmqrc_0Njontw.png"}},"mainEntityOfPage":"https:\u002F\u002Fmedium.com\u002F@jamievaron\u002Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20"}</script><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="STATIC">html{box-sizing:border-box;-webkit-text-size-adjust:100%}*, *:before, *:after{box-sizing:inherit}body{margin:0;padding:0;text-rendering:optimizeLegibility;-webkit-font-smoothing:antialiased;color:rgba(0,0,0,0.8);position:relative;min-height:100vh}h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, dl, dd, ol, ul, menu, figure, blockquote, p, pre, form{margin:0}menu, ol, ul{padding:0;list-style:none;list-style-image:none}main{display:block}a{color:inherit;text-decoration:none}a, button, input{-webkit-tap-highlight-color:transparent}img, svg{vertical-align:middle}button{background:transparent;overflow:visible}button, input, optgroup, select, textarea{margin:0}:root{--reach-tabs:1;--reach-menu-button:1}#speechify-root{font-family:Sohne, sans-serif}div[data-popper-reference-hidden="true"]{visibility:hidden;pointer-events:none}.grecaptcha-badge{visibility:hidden} /*XCode style (c) Angel Garcia <angelgarcia.mail@gmail.com>*/.hljs {background: #fff;color: black; }/* Gray DOCTYPE selectors like WebKit */ .xml .hljs-meta {color: #c0c0c0; }.hljs-comment, .hljs-quote {color: #007400; }.hljs-tag, .hljs-attribute, .hljs-keyword, .hljs-selector-tag, .hljs-literal, .hljs-name {color: #aa0d91; }.hljs-variable, .hljs-template-variable {color: #3F6E74; }.hljs-code, .hljs-string, .hljs-meta .hljs-string {color: #c41a16; }.hljs-regexp, .hljs-link {color: #0E0EFF; }.hljs-title, .hljs-symbol, .hljs-bullet, .hljs-number {color: #1c00cf; }.hljs-section, .hljs-meta {color: #643820; }.hljs-title.class_, .hljs-class .hljs-title, .hljs-type, .hljs-built_in, .hljs-params {color: #5c2699; }.hljs-attr {color: #836C28; }.hljs-subst {color: #000; }.hljs-formula {background-color: #eee;font-style: italic; }.hljs-addition {background-color: #baeeba; }.hljs-deletion {background-color: #ffc8bd; }.hljs-selector-id, .hljs-selector-class {color: #9b703f; }.hljs-doctag, .hljs-strong {font-weight: bold; }.hljs-emphasis {font-style: italic; } </style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="KEYFRAME">@-webkit-keyframes k1{0%{opacity:0.8}50%{opacity:0.5}100%{opacity:0.8}}@-moz-keyframes k1{0%{opacity:0.8}50%{opacity:0.5}100%{opacity:0.8}}@keyframes k1{0%{opacity:0.8}50%{opacity:0.5}100%{opacity:0.8}}</style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="RULE">.a{font-family:medium-content-sans-serif-font, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Open Sans", "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif}.b{font-weight:400}.c{background-color:rgba(255, 255, 255, 1)}.l{display:block}.m{position:sticky}.n{top:0}.o{z-index:500}.p{padding:0 24px}.q{align-items:center}.r{border-bottom:solid 1px #F2F2F2}.y{height:41px}.z{line-height:20px}.ab{display:flex}.ac{height:57px}.ae{flex:1 0 auto}.af{color:inherit}.ag{fill:inherit}.ah{font-size:inherit}.ai{border:inherit}.aj{font-family:inherit}.ak{letter-spacing:inherit}.al{font-weight:inherit}.am{padding:0}.an{margin:0}.ao{cursor:pointer}.ap:disabled{cursor:not-allowed}.aq:disabled{color:#6B6B6B}.ar:disabled{fill:#6B6B6B}.au{width:auto}.av path{fill:#242424}.aw{height:25px}.ax{margin-left:16px}.ay{border:none}.az{border-radius:20px}.ba{width:240px}.bb{background:#F9F9F9}.bc path{fill:#6B6B6B}.be{outline:none}.bf{font-family:sohne, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.bg{font-size:14px}.bh{width:100%}.bi{padding:10px 20px 10px 0}.bj{background-color:transparent}.bk{color:#242424}.bl::placeholder{color:#6B6B6B}.bm{display:inline-block}.bn{margin-left:12px}.bo{margin-right:12px}.bp{border-radius:4px}.bq{margin-left:24px}.br{height:24px}.bx{background-color:#F9F9F9}.by{border-radius:50%}.bz{height:32px}.ca{width:32px}.cb{justify-content:center}.ch{max-width:680px}.ci{min-width:0}.cj{animation:k1 1.2s ease-in-out infinite}.ck{height:100vh}.cl{margin-bottom:16px}.cm{margin-top:48px}.cn{align-items:flex-start}.co{flex-direction:column}.cp{justify-content:space-between}.cq{margin-bottom:24px}.cw{width:80%}.cx{background-color:#F2F2F2}.dd{height:44px}.de{width:44px}.df{margin:auto 0}.dg{margin-bottom:4px}.dh{height:16px}.di{width:120px}.dj{width:80px}.dp{margin-bottom:8px}.dq{width:96%}.dr{width:98%}.ds{width:81%}.dt{margin-left:8px}.du{color:#6B6B6B}.dv{font-size:13px}.dw{height:100%}.ep{color:#FFFFFF}.eq{fill:#FFFFFF}.er{background:#1A8917}.es{border-color:#1A8917}.ew:disabled{cursor:inherit !important}.ex:disabled{opacity:0.3}.ey:disabled:hover{background:#1A8917}.ez:disabled:hover{border-color:#1A8917}.fa{border-radius:99em}.fb{border-width:1px}.fc{border-style:solid}.fd{box-sizing:border-box}.fe{text-decoration:none}.ff{text-align:center}.fi{margin-right:32px}.fj{position:relative}.fk{fill:#6B6B6B}.fn{background:transparent}.fo svg{margin-left:4px}.fp svg{fill:#6B6B6B}.fr{box-shadow:inset 0 0 0 1px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.05)}.fs{position:absolute}.fz{margin:0 24px}.gd{background:rgba(255, 255, 255, 1)}.ge{border:1px solid #F2F2F2}.gf{box-shadow:0 1px 4px #F2F2F2}.gg{max-height:100vh}.gh{overflow-y:auto}.gi{left:0}.gj{top:calc(100vh + 100px)}.gk{bottom:calc(100vh + 100px)}.gl{width:10px}.gm{pointer-events:none}.gn{word-break:break-word}.go{word-wrap:break-word}.gp:after{display:block}.gq:after{content:""}.gr:after{clear:both}.gs{clear:both}.gt{margin-top:0px}.gu{max-width:100%}.gv{height:auto}.gw{line-height:1.23}.gx{letter-spacing:0}.gy{font-style:normal}.gz{font-weight:700}.ie{align-items:baseline}.if{width:48px}.ig{height:48px}.ih{border:2px solid rgba(255, 255, 255, 1)}.ii{z-index:0}.ij{box-shadow:none}.ik{border:1px solid rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.05)}.il{margin-bottom:2px}.im{flex-wrap:nowrap}.in{font-size:16px}.io{line-height:24px}.iq{margin:0 8px}.ir{display:inline}.is{color:#1A8917}.it{fill:#1A8917}.iw{flex:0 0 auto}.iz{flex-wrap:wrap}.ja{padding-left:8px}.jb{padding-right:8px}.kc> *{flex-shrink:0}.kd{overflow-x:scroll}.ke::-webkit-scrollbar{display:none}.kf{scrollbar-width:none}.kg{-ms-overflow-style:none}.kh{width:74px}.ki{flex-direction:row}.kj{z-index:2}.kk{margin-right:4px}.kn{-webkit-user-select:none}.ko{border:0}.kp{fill:rgba(117, 117, 117, 1)}.ks{outline:0}.kt{user-select:none}.ku> svg{pointer-events:none}.ld{cursor:progress}.le{margin-left:4px}.lf{opacity:1}.lg{padding:4px 0}.lj{width:16px}.ll{display:inline-flex}.lr{padding:8px 2px}.ls svg{color:#6B6B6B}.mj{margin-top:32px}.mk{margin-bottom:14px}.ml{padding-top:24px}.mm{padding-bottom:10px}.mn{background-color:#000000}.mo{height:3px}.mp{width:3px}.mq{margin-right:20px}.mr{line-height:1.58}.ms{letter-spacing:-0.004em}.mt{font-family:source-serif-pro, Georgia, Cambria, "Times New Roman", Times, serif}.no{margin-bottom:-0.46em}.np{font-style:italic}.nq{text-decoration:underline}.nr{line-height:1.18}.ns{letter-spacing:-0.022em}.nt{font-weight:600}.oj{margin-bottom:-0.31em}.ok{margin-bottom:26px}.ol{margin-top:6px}.om{margin-top:8px}.on{margin-right:8px}.oo{padding:8px 16px}.op{border-radius:100px}.oq{transition:background 300ms ease}.os{white-space:nowrap}.ot{border-top:none}.ou{margin-bottom:50px}.ov{height:52px}.ow{max-height:52px}.ox{box-sizing:content-box}.oy{position:static}.oz{z-index:1}.pb{max-width:155px}.ph{margin-bottom:64px}.pw{height:64px}.px{width:64px}.py{align-self:flex-end}.pz{color:rgba(255, 255, 255, 1)}.qa{fill:rgba(255, 255, 255, 1)}.qb{background:rgba(25, 25, 25, 1)}.qc{border-color:rgba(25, 25, 25, 1)}.qf:disabled{opacity:0.1}.qg:disabled:hover{background:rgba(25, 25, 25, 1)}.qh:disabled:hover{border-color:rgba(25, 25, 25, 1)}.qi{flex:1 1 auto}.qo{padding-right:4px}.qp{font-weight:500}.qw{white-space:pre-wrap}.qx{margin-top:16px}.rd{height:0px}.rr{gap:18px}.rs{fill:rgba(61, 61, 61, 1)}.ru{padding-bottom:6px}.rv{border-bottom:1px solid #F2F2F2}.sb{fill:#242424}.sc{background:0}.sd{border-color:#242424}.se:disabled:hover{color:#242424}.sf:disabled:hover{fill:#242424}.sg:disabled:hover{border-color:#242424}.sr{border-bottom:solid 1px #E5E5E5}.ss{margin-top:72px}.st{padding:24px 0}.su{margin-bottom:0px}.sv{margin-right:16px}.as:hover:not(:disabled){color:rgba(25, 25, 25, 1)}.at:hover:not(:disabled){fill:rgba(25, 25, 25, 1)}.et:hover{background:#156D12}.eu:hover{border-color:#156D12}.ev:hover{cursor:pointer}.fl:hover{color:#242424}.fm:hover{fill:#242424}.fq:hover svg{fill:#242424}.ft:hover{background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1)}.ip:hover{text-decoration:underline}.iu:hover:not(:disabled){color:#156D12}.iv:hover:not(:disabled){fill:#156D12}.kr:hover{fill:rgba(8, 8, 8, 1)}.lh:hover{fill:#000000}.li:hover p{color:#000000}.lk:hover{color:#000000}.lt:hover svg{color:#000000}.or:hover{background-color:#F2F2F2}.pv:hover{background-color:none}.qd:hover{background:#000000}.qe:hover{border-color:#242424}.rt:hover{fill:rgba(25, 25, 25, 1)}.bd:focus-within path{fill:#242424}.kq:focus{fill:rgba(8, 8, 8, 1)}.lu:focus svg{color:#000000}.kv:active{border-style:none}</style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="RULE" media="all and (min-width: 1080px)">.d{display:none}.bw{width:64px}.cg{margin:0 64px}.cv{height:48px}.dc{margin-bottom:52px}.do{margin-bottom:48px}.ef{font-size:14px}.eg{line-height:20px}.em{font-size:13px}.eo{padding:5px 12px}.fh{display:flex}.fy{margin-bottom:50px}.gc{max-width:680px}.hu{font-size:42px}.hv{margin-top:1em}.hw{margin-bottom:32px}.hx{line-height:52px}.hy{letter-spacing:-0.011em}.id{align-items:center}.jo{border-top:solid 1px #F2F2F2}.jp{border-bottom:solid 1px #F2F2F2}.jq{margin:32px 0 0}.jr{padding:3px 8px}.ka> *{margin-right:24px}.kb> :last-child{margin-right:0}.lc{margin-top:0px}.lq{margin:0}.nk{font-size:20px}.nl{margin-top:2.14em}.nm{line-height:32px}.nn{letter-spacing:-0.003em}.og{margin-top:1.72em}.oh{line-height:24px}.oi{letter-spacing:0}.pg{display:inline-block}.pi{flex-direction:row}.pl{margin-bottom:0}.pm{margin-right:20px}.qj{max-width:500px}.rc{margin-bottom:88px}.ro{font-size:24px}.rp{line-height:30px}.rq{letter-spacing:-0.016em}.sa{margin:40px 0 16px}.sl{width:min-width}.sq{padding-top:72px}</style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="RULE" media="all and (max-width: 1079.98px)">.e{display:none}.lb{margin-top:0px}.pf{display:inline-block}</style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="RULE" media="all and (max-width: 903.98px)">.f{display:none}.la{margin-top:0px}.pe{display:inline-block}</style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="RULE" media="all and (max-width: 727.98px)">.g{display:none}.ky{margin-top:0px}.kz{margin-right:0px}.pd{display:inline-block}</style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="RULE" media="all and (max-width: 551.98px)">.h{display:none}.s{display:flex}.t{justify-content:space-between}.bs{width:24px}.cc{margin:0 24px}.cr{height:40px}.cy{margin-bottom:44px}.dk{margin-bottom:32px}.dx{font-size:13px}.dy{line-height:20px}.eh{padding:0px 8px 1px}.fu{margin-bottom:2px}.ha{font-size:32px}.hb{margin-top:1.01em}.hc{margin-bottom:24px}.hd{line-height:38px}.he{letter-spacing:-0.014em}.hz{align-items:flex-start}.ix{flex-direction:column}.jc{margin:24px -24px 0}.jd{padding:0}.js> *{margin-right:8px}.jt> :last-child{margin-right:24px}.kl{margin-left:0px}.kw{margin-top:0px}.kx{margin-right:0px}.lm{margin:0}.lv{border:1px solid #F2F2F2}.lw{border-radius:99em}.lx{padding:0px 16px 0px 12px}.ly{height:38px}.lz{align-items:center}.mb svg{margin-right:8px}.mu{font-size:18px}.mv{margin-top:1.56em}.mw{line-height:28px}.mx{letter-spacing:-0.003em}.nu{font-size:16px}.nv{margin-top:1.23em}.nw{letter-spacing:0}.pc{display:inline-block}.pt{margin-bottom:20px}.pu{margin-right:0}.qn{max-width:100%}.qq{font-size:24px}.qr{line-height:30px}.qs{letter-spacing:-0.016em}.qy{margin-bottom:64px}.re{font-size:20px}.rf{line-height:24px}.rw{margin:32px 0 16px}.sh{width:100%}.sm{padding-top:48px}.ma:hover{border-color:#E5E5E5}</style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="RULE" media="all and (min-width: 904px) and (max-width: 1079.98px)">.i{display:none}.bv{width:64px}.cf{margin:0 64px}.cu{height:48px}.db{margin-bottom:52px}.dn{margin-bottom:48px}.ed{font-size:14px}.ee{line-height:20px}.ek{font-size:13px}.el{padding:5px 12px}.fg{display:flex}.fx{margin-bottom:50px}.gb{max-width:680px}.hp{font-size:42px}.hq{margin-top:1em}.hr{margin-bottom:32px}.hs{line-height:52px}.ht{letter-spacing:-0.011em}.ic{align-items:center}.jk{border-top:solid 1px #F2F2F2}.jl{border-bottom:solid 1px #F2F2F2}.jm{margin:32px 0 0}.jn{padding:3px 8px}.jy> *{margin-right:24px}.jz> :last-child{margin-right:0}.lp{margin:0}.ng{font-size:20px}.nh{margin-top:2.14em}.ni{line-height:32px}.nj{letter-spacing:-0.003em}.od{margin-top:1.72em}.oe{line-height:24px}.of{letter-spacing:0}.pj{flex-direction:row}.pn{margin-bottom:0}.po{margin-right:20px}.qk{max-width:500px}.rb{margin-bottom:88px}.rl{font-size:24px}.rm{line-height:30px}.rn{letter-spacing:-0.016em}.rz{margin:40px 0 16px}.sk{width:min-width}.sp{padding-top:72px}</style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="RULE" media="all and (min-width: 728px) and (max-width: 903.98px)">.j{display:none}.w{display:flex}.x{justify-content:space-between}.bu{width:64px}.ce{margin:0 48px}.ct{height:48px}.da{margin-bottom:52px}.dm{margin-bottom:48px}.eb{font-size:13px}.ec{line-height:20px}.ej{padding:0px 8px 1px}.fw{margin-bottom:50px}.ga{max-width:680px}.hk{font-size:42px}.hl{margin-top:1em}.hm{margin-bottom:32px}.hn{line-height:52px}.ho{letter-spacing:-0.011em}.ib{align-items:center}.jg{border-top:solid 1px #F2F2F2}.jh{border-bottom:solid 1px #F2F2F2}.ji{margin:32px 0 0}.jj{padding:3px 8px}.jw> *{margin-right:24px}.jx> :last-child{margin-right:0}.lo{margin:0}.nc{font-size:20px}.nd{margin-top:2.14em}.ne{line-height:32px}.nf{letter-spacing:-0.003em}.oa{margin-top:1.72em}.ob{line-height:24px}.oc{letter-spacing:0}.pk{flex-direction:row}.pp{margin-bottom:0}.pq{margin-right:20px}.ql{max-width:500px}.ra{margin-bottom:88px}.ri{font-size:24px}.rj{line-height:30px}.rk{letter-spacing:-0.016em}.ry{margin:40px 0 16px}.sj{width:min-width}.so{padding-top:72px}</style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="RULE" media="all and (min-width: 552px) and (max-width: 727.98px)">.k{display:none}.u{display:flex}.v{justify-content:space-between}.bt{width:24px}.cd{margin:0 24px}.cs{height:40px}.cz{margin-bottom:44px}.dl{margin-bottom:32px}.dz{font-size:13px}.ea{line-height:20px}.ei{padding:0px 8px 1px}.fv{margin-bottom:2px}.hf{font-size:32px}.hg{margin-top:1.01em}.hh{margin-bottom:24px}.hi{line-height:38px}.hj{letter-spacing:-0.014em}.ia{align-items:flex-start}.iy{flex-direction:column}.je{margin:24px 0 0}.jf{padding:0}.ju> *{margin-right:8px}.jv> :last-child{margin-right:8px}.km{margin-left:0px}.ln{margin:0}.mc{border:1px solid #F2F2F2}.md{border-radius:99em}.me{padding:0px 16px 0px 12px}.mf{height:38px}.mg{align-items:center}.mi svg{margin-right:8px}.my{font-size:18px}.mz{margin-top:1.56em}.na{line-height:28px}.nb{letter-spacing:-0.003em}.nx{font-size:16px}.ny{margin-top:1.23em}.nz{letter-spacing:0}.pr{margin-bottom:20px}.ps{margin-right:0}.qm{max-width:100%}.qt{font-size:24px}.qu{line-height:30px}.qv{letter-spacing:-0.016em}.qz{margin-bottom:64px}.rg{font-size:20px}.rh{line-height:24px}.rx{margin:32px 0 16px}.si{width:100%}.sn{padding-top:48px}.mh:hover{border-color:#E5E5E5}</style><style type="text/css" data-fela-rehydration="515" data-fela-type="RULE" media="print">.pa{display:none}</style></head><body><div id="root"><div class="a b c"><div class="d e f g h i j k"></div><script>document.domain = document.domain;</script><div class="l c"><div class="l m n o c"><div class="p q r s t u v w x i d y z"><a class="du ag dv bf ak b am an ao ap aq ar as at s u w i d q dw z" href="https://rsci.app.link/?%24canonical_url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fp%2Fd0d8fa931c20&%7Efeature=LoOpenInAppButton&%7Echannel=ShowPostUnderUser&source=---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------------------------" rel="noopener follow">Open in app<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="10" height="10" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 10 10" class="dt"><path fill="currentColor" d="M.985 8.485a.375.375 0 1 0 .53.53zM8.75 1.25h.375A.375.375 0 0 0 8.75.875zM8.375 6.5a.375.375 0 1 0 .75 0zM3.5.875a.375.375 0 1 0 0 .75zm-1.985 8.14 7.5-7.5-.53-.53-7.5 7.5zm6.86-7.765V6.5h.75V1.25zM3.5 1.625h5.25v-.75H3.5z"></path></svg></a><div class="ab q"><p class="bf b dx dy dz ea eb ec ed ee ef eg du"><span><button class="bf b dx dy eh dz ea ei eb ec ej ek ee el em eg eo ep eq er es et eu ev ew ex ey ez fa fb fc fd bm fe ff" data-testid="headerSignUpButton">Sign up</button></span></p><div class="ax l"><p class="bf b dx dy dz ea eb ec ed ee ef eg du"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="headerSignInButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?operation=login&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jamievaron%2Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20&source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------global_nav------------------">Sign in</a></span></p></div></div></div><div class="p q r ab ac"><div class="ab q ae"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at ab" aria-label="Homepage" data-testid="headerMediumLogo" rel="noopener follow" href="/?source=---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------------------------"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="719" height="160" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 719 160" class="au av aw"><path fill="#242424" d="m174.104 9.734.215-.047V8.02H130.39L89.6 103.89 48.81 8.021H1.472v1.666l.212.047c8.018 1.81 12.09 4.509 12.09 14.242V137.93c0 9.734-4.087 12.433-12.106 14.243l-.212.047v1.671h32.118v-1.665l-.213-.048c-8.018-1.809-12.089-4.509-12.089-14.242V30.586l52.399 123.305h2.972l53.925-126.743V140.75c-.687 7.688-4.721 10.062-11.982 11.701l-.215.05v1.652h55.948v-1.652l-.215-.05c-7.269-1.639-11.4-4.013-12.087-11.701l-.037-116.774h.037c0-9.733 4.071-12.432 12.087-14.242m25.555 75.488c.915-20.474 8.268-35.252 20.606-35.507 3.806.063 6.998 1.312 9.479 3.714 5.272 5.118 7.751 15.812 7.368 31.793zm-.553 5.77h65.573v-.275c-.186-15.656-4.721-27.834-13.466-36.196-7.559-7.227-18.751-11.203-30.507-11.203h-.263c-6.101 0-13.584 1.48-18.909 4.16-6.061 2.807-11.407 7.003-15.855 12.511-7.161 8.874-11.499 20.866-12.554 34.343q-.05.606-.092 1.212a50 50 0 0 0-.065 1.151 85.807 85.807 0 0 0-.094 5.689c.71 30.524 17.198 54.917 46.483 54.917 25.705 0 40.675-18.791 44.407-44.013l-1.886-.664c-6.557 13.556-18.334 21.771-31.738 20.769-18.297-1.369-32.314-19.922-31.042-42.395m139.722 41.359c-2.151 5.101-6.639 7.908-12.653 7.908s-11.513-4.129-15.418-11.63c-4.197-8.053-6.405-19.436-6.405-32.92 0-28.067 8.729-46.22 22.24-46.22 5.657 0 10.111 2.807 12.236 7.704zm43.499 20.008c-8.019-1.897-12.089-4.722-12.089-14.951V1.309l-48.716 14.353v1.757l.299-.024c6.72-.543 11.278.386 13.925 2.83 2.072 1.915 3.082 4.853 3.082 8.987v18.66c-4.803-3.067-10.516-4.56-17.448-4.56-14.059 0-26.909 5.92-36.176 16.672-9.66 11.205-14.767 26.518-14.767 44.278-.003 31.72 15.612 53.039 38.851 53.039 13.595 0 24.533-7.449 29.54-20.013v16.865h43.711v-1.746zM424.1 19.819c0-9.904-7.468-17.374-17.375-17.374-9.859 0-17.573 7.632-17.573 17.374s7.721 17.374 17.573 17.374c9.907 0 17.375-7.47 17.375-17.374m11.499 132.546c-8.019-1.897-12.089-4.722-12.089-14.951h-.035V43.635l-43.714 12.551v1.705l.263.024c9.458.842 12.047 4.1 12.047 15.152v81.086h43.751v-1.746zm112.013 0c-8.018-1.897-12.089-4.722-12.089-14.951V43.635l-41.621 12.137v1.71l.246.026c7.733.813 9.967 4.257 9.967 15.36v59.279c-2.578 5.102-7.415 8.131-13.274 8.336-9.503 0-14.736-6.419-14.736-18.073V43.638l-43.714 12.55v1.703l.262.024c9.459.84 12.05 4.097 12.05 15.152v50.17a56.3 56.3 0 0 0 .91 10.444l.787 3.423c3.701 13.262 13.398 20.197 28.59 20.197 12.868 0 24.147-7.966 29.115-20.43v17.311h43.714v-1.747zm169.818 1.788v-1.749l-.213-.05c-8.7-2.006-12.089-5.789-12.089-13.49v-63.79c0-19.89-11.171-31.761-29.883-31.761-13.64 0-25.141 7.882-29.569 20.16-3.517-13.01-13.639-20.16-28.606-20.16-13.146 0-23.449 6.938-27.869 18.657V43.643L545.487 55.68v1.715l.263.024c9.345.829 12.047 4.181 12.047 14.95v81.784h40.787v-1.746l-.215-.053c-6.941-1.631-9.181-4.606-9.181-12.239V66.998c1.836-4.289 5.537-9.37 12.853-9.37 9.086 0 13.692 6.296 13.692 18.697v77.828h40.797v-1.746l-.215-.053c-6.94-1.631-9.18-4.606-9.18-12.239V75.066a42 42 0 0 0-.578-7.26c1.947-4.661 5.86-10.177 13.475-10.177 9.214 0 13.691 6.114 13.691 18.696v77.828z"></path></svg></a><div class="ax h"><div class="ab ay az ba bb q bc bd"><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false" aria-describedby="searchResults" aria-labelledby="searchResults"></div><div class="bn bo ab"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><path fill="currentColor" fill-rule="evenodd" d="M4.092 11.06a6.95 6.95 0 1 1 13.9 0 6.95 6.95 0 0 1-13.9 0m6.95-8.05a8.05 8.05 0 1 0 5.13 14.26l3.75 3.75a.56.56 0 1 0 .79-.79l-3.73-3.73A8.05 8.05 0 0 0 11.042 3z" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg></div><input role="combobox" aria-controls="searchResults" aria-expanded="false" aria-label="search" data-testid="headerSearchInput" tabindex="0" class="ay be bf bg z bh bi bj bk bl" placeholder="Search" value=""/></div></div></div><div class="h k w fg fh"><div class="fi ab"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="headerWriteButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fnew-story&source=---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------new_post_topnav------------------"><div class="bf b bg z du fj fk ab q fl fm"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-label="Write"><path fill="currentColor" d="M14 4a.5.5 0 0 0 0-1zm7 6a.5.5 0 0 0-1 0zm-7-7H4v1h10zM3 4v16h1V4zm1 17h16v-1H4zm17-1V10h-1v10zm-1 1a1 1 0 0 0 1-1h-1zM3 20a1 1 0 0 0 1 1v-1zM4 3a1 1 0 0 0-1 1h1z"></path><path stroke="currentColor" d="m17.5 4.5-8.458 8.458a.25.25 0 0 0-.06.098l-.824 2.47a.25.25 0 0 0 .316.316l2.47-.823a.25.25 0 0 0 .098-.06L19.5 6.5m-2-2 2.323-2.323a.25.25 0 0 1 .354 0l1.646 1.646a.25.25 0 0 1 0 .354L19.5 6.5m-2-2 2 2"></path></svg><div class="dt l">Write</div></div></a></span></div></div><div class="k j i d"><div class="fi ab"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="headerSearchButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/search?source=---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------------------------"><div class="bf b bg z du fj fk ab q fl fm"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-label="Search"><path fill="currentColor" fill-rule="evenodd" d="M4.092 11.06a6.95 6.95 0 1 1 13.9 0 6.95 6.95 0 0 1-13.9 0m6.95-8.05a8.05 8.05 0 1 0 5.13 14.26l3.75 3.75a.56.56 0 1 0 .79-.79l-3.73-3.73A8.05 8.05 0 0 0 11.042 3z" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg></div></a></div></div><div class="fi h k j"><div class="ab q"><p class="bf b dx dy dz ea eb ec ed ee ef eg du"><span><button class="bf b dx dy eh dz ea ei eb ec ej ek ee el em eg eo ep eq er es et eu ev ew ex ey ez fa fb fc fd bm fe ff" data-testid="headerSignUpButton">Sign up</button></span></p><div class="ax l"><p class="bf b dx dy dz ea eb ec ed ee ef eg du"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="headerSignInButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?operation=login&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jamievaron%2Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20&source=post_page---top_nav_layout_nav-----------------------global_nav------------------">Sign in</a></span></p></div></div></div><div class="l" aria-hidden="false"><button class="ay fn am ab q ao fo fp fq" aria-label="user options menu" data-testid="headerUserIcon"><div class="l fj"><img alt="" class="l fd by bz ca cx" src="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:64:64/1*dmbNkD5D-u45r44go_cf0g.png" width="32" height="32" loading="lazy" role="presentation"/><div class="fr by l bz ca fs n ay ft"></div></div></button></div></div></div><div class="l"><div class="fu fv fw fx fy l"><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"></div></div><article><div class="l"><div class="l"><span class="l"></span><section><div><div class="fs gi gj gk gl gm"></div><div class="gn go gp gq gr"><div class="gs bh"><figure class="gt gs bh paragraph-image"><picture><source srcSet="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 640w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:720/format:webp/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 720w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:750/format:webp/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 750w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:786/format:webp/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 786w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:828/format:webp/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 828w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1100/format:webp/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 1100w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:4800/format:webp/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 4800w" sizes="(min-resolution: 4dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 50vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 4) and (max-width: 700px) 50vw, (min-resolution: 3dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 67vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3) and (max-width: 700px) 65vw, (min-resolution: 2.5dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2.5) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (min-resolution: 2dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 100vw" type="image/webp"/><source data-testid="og" srcSet="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 640w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:720/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 720w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:750/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 750w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:786/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 786w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:828/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 828w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1100/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 1100w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:4800/1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg 4800w" sizes="(min-resolution: 4dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 50vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 4) and (max-width: 700px) 50vw, (min-resolution: 3dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 67vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3) and (max-width: 700px) 65vw, (min-resolution: 2.5dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2.5) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (min-resolution: 2dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 100vw"/><img alt="" class="bh gu gv c" width="2400" height="3456" loading="eager" role="presentation"/></picture></figure></div><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div><h1 id="4ec4" class="pw-post-title gw gx gy bf gz ha hb hc hd he hf hg hh hi hj hk hl hm hn ho hp hq hr hs ht hu hv hw hx hy bk" data-testid="storyTitle">Unlearning How To Be A Woman</h1><div><div class="speechify-ignore ab cp"><div class="speechify-ignore bh l"><div class="hz ia ib ic id ab"><div><div class="ab ie"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><a rel="noopener follow" href="/@jamievaron?source=post_page---byline--d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------"><div class="l if ig by ih ii"><div class="l fj"><img alt="Jamie Varon" class="l fd by dd de cx" src="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:88:88/1*3MpSXpM0NPuplsVT1iXpQg.jpeg" width="44" height="44" loading="lazy" data-testid="authorPhoto"/><div class="ij by l dd de fs n ik ft"></div></div></div></a></div></div></div></div><div class="bn bh l"><div class="ab"><div style="flex:1"><span class="bf b bg z bk"><div class="il ab q"><div class="ab q im"><div class="ab q"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><p class="bf b in io bk"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar ip" data-testid="authorName" rel="noopener follow" href="/@jamievaron?source=post_page---byline--d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------">Jamie Varon</a></p></div></div></div><span class="iq ir" aria-hidden="true"><span class="bf b bg z du">·</span></span><p class="bf b in io du"><span><a class="is it ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar ex iu iv" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?actionUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F_%2Fsubscribe%2Fuser%2Fcf6cc587ca1e&operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jamievaron%2Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20&user=Jamie+Varon&userId=cf6cc587ca1e&source=post_page-cf6cc587ca1e--byline--d0d8fa931c20---------------------post_header------------------">Follow</a></span></p></div></div></span></div></div><div class="l iw"><span class="bf b bg z du"><div class="ab cn ix iy iz"><span class="bf b bg z du"><div class="ab ae"><span data-testid="storyReadTime">4 min read</span><div class="ja jb l" aria-hidden="true"><span class="l" aria-hidden="true"><span class="bf b bg z du">·</span></span></div><span data-testid="storyPublishDate">Dec 1, 2015</span></div></span></div></span></div></div></div><div class="ab cp jc jd je jf jg jh ji jj jk jl jm jn jo jp jq jr"><div class="h k w fg fh q"><div class="kh l"><div class="ab q ki kj"><div class="pw-multi-vote-icon fj kk kl km kn"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="headerClapButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?actionUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F_%2Fvote%2Fp%2Fd0d8fa931c20&operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jamievaron%2Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20&user=Jamie+Varon&userId=cf6cc587ca1e&source=---header_actions--d0d8fa931c20---------------------clap_footer------------------"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><div class="ko ao kp kq kr ks am kt ku kv kn"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-label="clap"><path fill-rule="evenodd" d="M11.37.828 12 3.282l.63-2.454zM13.916 3.953l1.523-2.112-1.184-.39zM8.589 1.84l1.522 2.112-.337-2.501zM18.523 18.92c-.86.86-1.75 1.246-2.62 1.33a6 6 0 0 0 .407-.372c2.388-2.389 2.86-4.951 1.399-7.623l-.912-1.603-.79-1.672c-.26-.56-.194-.98.203-1.288a.7.7 0 0 1 .546-.132c.283.046.546.231.728.5l2.363 4.157c.976 1.624 1.141 4.237-1.324 6.702m-10.999-.438L3.37 14.328a.828.828 0 0 1 .585-1.408.83.83 0 0 1 .585.242l2.158 2.157a.365.365 0 0 0 .516-.516l-2.157-2.158-1.449-1.449a.826.826 0 0 1 1.167-1.17l3.438 3.44a.363.363 0 0 0 .516 0 .364.364 0 0 0 0-.516L5.293 9.513l-.97-.97a.826.826 0 0 1 0-1.166.84.84 0 0 1 1.167 0l.97.968 3.437 3.436a.36.36 0 0 0 .517 0 .366.366 0 0 0 0-.516L6.977 7.83a.82.82 0 0 1-.241-.584.82.82 0 0 1 .824-.826c.219 0 .43.087.584.242l5.787 5.787a.366.366 0 0 0 .587-.415l-1.117-2.363c-.26-.56-.194-.98.204-1.289a.7.7 0 0 1 .546-.132c.283.046.545.232.727.501l2.193 3.86c1.302 2.38.883 4.59-1.277 6.75-1.156 1.156-2.602 1.627-4.19 1.367-1.418-.236-2.866-1.033-4.079-2.246M10.75 5.971l2.12 2.12c-.41.502-.465 1.17-.128 1.89l.22.465-3.523-3.523a.8.8 0 0 1-.097-.368c0-.22.086-.428.241-.584a.847.847 0 0 1 1.167 0m7.355 1.705c-.31-.461-.746-.758-1.23-.837a1.44 1.44 0 0 0-1.11.275c-.312.24-.505.543-.59.881a1.74 1.74 0 0 0-.906-.465 1.47 1.47 0 0 0-.82.106l-2.182-2.182a1.56 1.56 0 0 0-2.2 0 1.54 1.54 0 0 0-.396.701 1.56 1.56 0 0 0-2.21-.01 1.55 1.55 0 0 0-.416.753c-.624-.624-1.649-.624-2.237-.037a1.557 1.557 0 0 0 0 2.2c-.239.1-.501.238-.715.453a1.56 1.56 0 0 0 0 2.2l.516.515a1.556 1.556 0 0 0-.753 2.615L7.01 19c1.32 1.319 2.909 2.189 4.475 2.449q.482.08.971.08c.85 0 1.653-.198 2.393-.579.231.033.46.054.686.054 1.266 0 2.457-.52 3.505-1.567 2.763-2.763 2.552-5.734 1.439-7.586z" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg></div></div></div></a></span></div><div class="pw-multi-vote-count l kw kx ky kz la lb lc"><p class="bf b dv z du"><span class="ld">--</span></p></div></div></div><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><button class="ao ko lf lg ab q fk lh li" aria-label="responses"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" class="gt"><path d="M18.006 16.803c1.533-1.456 2.234-3.325 2.234-5.321C20.24 7.357 16.709 4 12.191 4S4 7.357 4 11.482c0 4.126 3.674 7.482 8.191 7.482.817 0 1.622-.111 2.393-.327.231.2.48.391.744.559 1.06.693 2.203 1.044 3.399 1.044.224-.008.4-.112.486-.287a.49.49 0 0 0-.042-.518c-.495-.67-.845-1.364-1.04-2.057a4 4 0 0 1-.125-.598zm-3.122 1.055-.067-.223-.315.096a8 8 0 0 1-2.311.338c-4.023 0-7.292-2.955-7.292-6.587 0-3.633 3.269-6.588 7.292-6.588 4.014 0 7.112 2.958 7.112 6.593 0 1.794-.608 3.469-2.027 4.72l-.195.168v.255c0 .056 0 .151.016.295.025.231.081.478.154.733.154.558.398 1.117.722 1.659a5.3 5.3 0 0 1-2.165-.845c-.276-.176-.714-.383-.941-.59z"></path></svg><p class="bf b dv z du"><span class="pw-responses-count le gt">20</span></p></button></div></div></div><div class="ab q js jt ju jv jw jx jy jz ka kb kc kd ke kf kg"><div class="lj k j i d"></div><div class="h k"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="headerBookmarkButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?actionUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F_%2Fbookmark%2Fp%2Fd0d8fa931c20&operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jamievaron%2Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20&source=---header_actions--d0d8fa931c20---------------------bookmark_footer------------------"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="25" height="25" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 25 25" class="du lk" aria-label="Add to list bookmark button"><path fill="currentColor" d="M18 2.5a.5.5 0 0 1 1 0V5h2.5a.5.5 0 0 1 0 1H19v2.5a.5.5 0 1 1-1 0V6h-2.5a.5.5 0 0 1 0-1H18zM7 7a1 1 0 0 1 1-1h3.5a.5.5 0 0 0 0-1H8a2 2 0 0 0-2 2v14a.5.5 0 0 0 .805.396L12.5 17l5.695 4.396A.5.5 0 0 0 19 21v-8.5a.5.5 0 0 0-1 0v7.485l-5.195-4.012a.5.5 0 0 0-.61 0L7 19.985z"></path></svg></a></span></div></div></div><div class="fd ll cn"><div class="l ae"><div class="ab cb"><div class="lm ln lo lp lq gu ci bh"><div class="ab"><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><button aria-label="Listen" data-testid="audioPlayButton" class="af fk ah ai aj ak al lr an ao ap ex ls lt li lu lv lw lx ly s lz ma mb mc md me mf u mg mh mi"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><path fill="currentColor" fill-rule="evenodd" d="M3 12a9 9 0 1 1 18 0 9 9 0 0 1-18 0m9-10C6.477 2 2 6.477 2 12s4.477 10 10 10 10-4.477 10-10S17.523 2 12 2m3.376 10.416-4.599 3.066a.5.5 0 0 1-.777-.416V8.934a.5.5 0 0 1 .777-.416l4.599 3.066a.5.5 0 0 1 0 .832" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg><div class="j i d"><p class="bf b bg z du">Listen</p></div></button></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false" aria-describedby="postFooterSocialMenu" aria-labelledby="postFooterSocialMenu"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><button aria-controls="postFooterSocialMenu" aria-expanded="false" aria-label="Share Post" data-testid="headerSocialShareButton" class="af fk ah ai aj ak al lr an ao ap ex ls lt li lu lv lw lx ly s lz ma mb mc md me mf u mg mh mi"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><path fill="currentColor" fill-rule="evenodd" d="M15.218 4.931a.4.4 0 0 1-.118.132l.012.006a.45.45 0 0 1-.292.074.5.5 0 0 1-.3-.13l-2.02-2.02v7.07c0 .28-.23.5-.5.5s-.5-.22-.5-.5v-7.04l-2 2a.45.45 0 0 1-.57.04h-.02a.4.4 0 0 1-.16-.3.4.4 0 0 1 .1-.32l2.8-2.8a.5.5 0 0 1 .7 0l2.8 2.79a.42.42 0 0 1 .068.498m-.106.138.008.004v-.01zM16 7.063h1.5a2 2 0 0 1 2 2v10a2 2 0 0 1-2 2h-11c-1.1 0-2-.9-2-2v-10a2 2 0 0 1 2-2H8a.5.5 0 0 1 .35.15.5.5 0 0 1 .15.35.5.5 0 0 1-.15.35.5.5 0 0 1-.35.15H6.4c-.5 0-.9.4-.9.9v10.2a.9.9 0 0 0 .9.9h11.2c.5 0 .9-.4.9-.9v-10.2c0-.5-.4-.9-.9-.9H16a.5.5 0 0 1 0-1" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg><div class="j i d"><p class="bf b bg z du">Share</p></div></button></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="ab cb mj mk ml mm" role="separator"><span class="mn by bm mo mp mq"></span><span class="mn by bm mo mp mq"></span><span class="mn by bm mo mp"></span></div><div class="gn go gp gq gr"><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><p id="ef81" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">Imagine you have this well inside of you which is full of ideas, philosophies, thoughts unique only to you. Imagine there’s talent in so much of what you do, that you feel possessed by your need to share the interior of your mind with others. Imagine you have a drive, a singular ambition to use the contents of your brain and your heart to shift the world if only in some small way. Imagine you yearn deeply for impact and power and wealth and influence and fame and acclaim. Imagine your interests lay in being visionary, inventive, different, <em class="np">interesting</em>.</p><p id="c36d" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">Imagine this all exists inside of you just waiting for the moment to burst out into the open air.</p><p id="fc79" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">Then, imagine you grow up and you learn about yourself from the culture you live in. You learn that your talents are never as good as the shell those talents are presented in. You learn you are meant to be decoration on the sideline of someone else’s dream. You learn that probably the best you could hope for is to hold onto the lapels of someone else’s ambition and ride that to the top. You learn that it’s nearly impossible to own yourself in a world that seemingly wants to own you.</p><p id="2ed6" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">You learn that you essentially need to <em class="np">unlearn</em> everything your culture told you about who you are and what your value is in order to do anything you desire to do with your life. You learn that all those years of not knowing any better, of not being self-aware enough to stop toxic beliefs from affecting your self-image are years you can never get back. Years you wasted on self-doubt, self-loathing, self-hatred — all inherited from a culture which swallowed you before you learned to stand on your own.</p><p id="8445" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">So, your ambition becomes malleable, a thing that can be chipped away day by day. You watch your “role models” be beautiful first and everything else second. You watch as strong, incredible women forget to build their lives. You watch as women resign themselves and continue to put their power into the hands of men because it’s simply too difficult to swim against the tide for years and years. You watch as talent, intellect become buried underneath superficialities. You watch woman after woman cave into themselves.</p><p id="edbd" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">You become a little smaller in your approach, a little less lofty in your daydream. You start to put limits around your best ideas; tiny, and then tinier boxes to fit what you’re capable of, what you can “realistically” do. You let that indignant, bullheaded part of yourself soften, tired of being tired and more tired of being angry. You start conforming yourself to the norm more and more, molding who you <em class="np">are</em> around who you’re <em class="np">supposed</em> to be all while trying to make yourself believe these are your true choices.</p><p id="9492" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">You start seeing who is collecting awards, accolades, wealth, influence and you notice very few women. You start feeling less capable, less optimistic about what you can realistically achieve. You start to deflate, little by little. You find that familiar flush of anger spreading across your body. You realize those in power make it nearly impossible to succeed and then dock you for doing the impossible. Then, this same powerful group wraps up the reasoning for your lackluster success in a bullshit burrito saying women are fundamentally flawed in some crucial way that only <em class="np">they</em> can understand.</p><p id="eeef" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">Anger. There’s that anger again.</p><p id="9d51" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">You realize that all the time you spent unlearning what it means to be a woman, every man you’d known spent that same exact time climbing into their dreams. That, while you were focused on just trying to <em class="np">survive</em>, they were thriving, unaware of any reason not to keep going higher and higher in the life you wanted but felt too frozen to reach for. You realize you’re angry you internalized a toxic belief that your work had to come packaged inside a beautiful body if you wanted it to be noticed, that you are somehow <em class="np">less</em>, that your ambition is in any way diminished or unimportant.</p><p id="9ea0" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">You realize that while you deflated, the ones who were taught to strive <em class="np">inflated</em>, more and more and more until there was no more room for you, small as you might have made yourself.</p><p id="4a36" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">You become enraged when you understand that your struggle was not yours alone, that there has always been less opportunity for women, less options. Angry at yourself and the culture you were born into that tells little girls they are only as good as how they look, that this is where their value lies, while telling little boys their value is limitless, dependent on nearly anything they decide for themselves. Angry, thinking about what you could have done with your twenties had you believed in the limitless of your value. Angry, thinking about the countless times your value was diminished, when the brilliant parts of yourself kept becoming dimmer and dimmer and dimmer until only a tiny flame remained.</p><p id="9f0a" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk">Angry, knowing things will change, but by only a fraction. Angry, knowing you have to work harder and smarter and longer and then only <em class="np">hope</em> for recognition. Angry, that potentially this well inside of you will never be truly emptied, will never be truly seen. Angry, that it took you a decade of strife to undo this conditioning. Angry, that it took you so long to get even here to the recognition point. Angry, thinking about wasted tears and wasted time. Angry, that you didn’t know better.</p><p id="674f" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk"><em class="np">Angry</em>.</p></div></div></div><div class="ab cb mj mk ml mm" role="separator"><span class="mn by bm mo mp mq"></span><span class="mn by bm mo mp mq"></span><span class="mn by bm mo mp"></span></div><div class="gn go gp gq gr"><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><p id="d694" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mr ms gy mt b mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no gn bk"><strong class="mt gz">If you enjoyed this post, please consider </strong><a class="af nq" href="https://www.paypal.me/jamievaron" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank"><strong class="mt gz">leaving me a tip</strong></a><strong class="mt gz">.</strong></p></div></div></div><div class="ab cb mj mk ml mm" role="separator"><span class="mn by bm mo mp mq"></span><span class="mn by bm mo mp mq"></span><span class="mn by bm mo mp"></span></div><div class="gn go gp gq gr"><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><h2 id="08a4" class="nr ns gy bf nt nu nv dy nw nx ny ea nz nc oa ob oc ng od oe of nk og oh oi oj bk">For more from Jamie Varon:<br/><a class="af nq" href="http://facebook.com/jamievaron" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook</a> and <a class="af nq" href="http://twitter.com/jamievaron" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">Twitter</a> and <a class="af nq" href="http://instagram.com/jamievaron" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">Instagram</a></h2></div></div></div></div></section></div></div></article></div><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div class="ok ol ab iz"><div class="om ab"><a class="on ay am ao" rel="noopener follow" href="/tag/feminism?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------"><div class="oo fj cx op ge oq or bf b bg z bk os">Feminism</div></a></div><div class="om ab"><a class="on ay am ao" rel="noopener follow" href="/tag/women?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------"><div class="oo fj cx op ge oq or bf b bg z bk os">Women</div></a></div><div class="om ab"><a class="on ay am ao" rel="noopener follow" href="/tag/careers?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------"><div class="oo fj cx op ge oq or bf b bg z bk os">Careers</div></a></div></div></div></div><div class="l"></div><footer class="ot ou ov ow ox ab q oy oz c"><div class="l ae"><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div class="ab cp pa"><div class="ab q ki"><div class="pb l"><span class="l pc pd pe e d"><div class="ab q ki kj"><div class="pw-multi-vote-icon fj kk kl km kn"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="footerClapButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?actionUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F_%2Fvote%2Fp%2Fd0d8fa931c20&operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jamievaron%2Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20&user=Jamie+Varon&userId=cf6cc587ca1e&source=---footer_actions--d0d8fa931c20---------------------clap_footer------------------"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><div class="ko ao kp kq kr ks am kt ku kv kn"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-label="clap"><path fill-rule="evenodd" d="M11.37.828 12 3.282l.63-2.454zM13.916 3.953l1.523-2.112-1.184-.39zM8.589 1.84l1.522 2.112-.337-2.501zM18.523 18.92c-.86.86-1.75 1.246-2.62 1.33a6 6 0 0 0 .407-.372c2.388-2.389 2.86-4.951 1.399-7.623l-.912-1.603-.79-1.672c-.26-.56-.194-.98.203-1.288a.7.7 0 0 1 .546-.132c.283.046.546.231.728.5l2.363 4.157c.976 1.624 1.141 4.237-1.324 6.702m-10.999-.438L3.37 14.328a.828.828 0 0 1 .585-1.408.83.83 0 0 1 .585.242l2.158 2.157a.365.365 0 0 0 .516-.516l-2.157-2.158-1.449-1.449a.826.826 0 0 1 1.167-1.17l3.438 3.44a.363.363 0 0 0 .516 0 .364.364 0 0 0 0-.516L5.293 9.513l-.97-.97a.826.826 0 0 1 0-1.166.84.84 0 0 1 1.167 0l.97.968 3.437 3.436a.36.36 0 0 0 .517 0 .366.366 0 0 0 0-.516L6.977 7.83a.82.82 0 0 1-.241-.584.82.82 0 0 1 .824-.826c.219 0 .43.087.584.242l5.787 5.787a.366.366 0 0 0 .587-.415l-1.117-2.363c-.26-.56-.194-.98.204-1.289a.7.7 0 0 1 .546-.132c.283.046.545.232.727.501l2.193 3.86c1.302 2.38.883 4.59-1.277 6.75-1.156 1.156-2.602 1.627-4.19 1.367-1.418-.236-2.866-1.033-4.079-2.246M10.75 5.971l2.12 2.12c-.41.502-.465 1.17-.128 1.89l.22.465-3.523-3.523a.8.8 0 0 1-.097-.368c0-.22.086-.428.241-.584a.847.847 0 0 1 1.167 0m7.355 1.705c-.31-.461-.746-.758-1.23-.837a1.44 1.44 0 0 0-1.11.275c-.312.24-.505.543-.59.881a1.74 1.74 0 0 0-.906-.465 1.47 1.47 0 0 0-.82.106l-2.182-2.182a1.56 1.56 0 0 0-2.2 0 1.54 1.54 0 0 0-.396.701 1.56 1.56 0 0 0-2.21-.01 1.55 1.55 0 0 0-.416.753c-.624-.624-1.649-.624-2.237-.037a1.557 1.557 0 0 0 0 2.2c-.239.1-.501.238-.715.453a1.56 1.56 0 0 0 0 2.2l.516.515a1.556 1.556 0 0 0-.753 2.615L7.01 19c1.32 1.319 2.909 2.189 4.475 2.449q.482.08.971.08c.85 0 1.653-.198 2.393-.579.231.033.46.054.686.054 1.266 0 2.457-.52 3.505-1.567 2.763-2.763 2.552-5.734 1.439-7.586z" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg></div></div></div></a></span></div><div class="pw-multi-vote-count l kw kx ky kz la lb lc"><p class="bf b dv z du"><span class="ld">--</span></p></div></div></span><span class="l h g f pf pg"><div class="ab q ki kj"><div class="pw-multi-vote-icon fj kk kl km kn"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="footerClapButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?actionUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F_%2Fvote%2Fp%2Fd0d8fa931c20&operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jamievaron%2Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20&user=Jamie+Varon&userId=cf6cc587ca1e&source=---footer_actions--d0d8fa931c20---------------------clap_footer------------------"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><div class="ko ao kp kq kr ks am kt ku kv kn"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-label="clap"><path fill-rule="evenodd" d="M11.37.828 12 3.282l.63-2.454zM13.916 3.953l1.523-2.112-1.184-.39zM8.589 1.84l1.522 2.112-.337-2.501zM18.523 18.92c-.86.86-1.75 1.246-2.62 1.33a6 6 0 0 0 .407-.372c2.388-2.389 2.86-4.951 1.399-7.623l-.912-1.603-.79-1.672c-.26-.56-.194-.98.203-1.288a.7.7 0 0 1 .546-.132c.283.046.546.231.728.5l2.363 4.157c.976 1.624 1.141 4.237-1.324 6.702m-10.999-.438L3.37 14.328a.828.828 0 0 1 .585-1.408.83.83 0 0 1 .585.242l2.158 2.157a.365.365 0 0 0 .516-.516l-2.157-2.158-1.449-1.449a.826.826 0 0 1 1.167-1.17l3.438 3.44a.363.363 0 0 0 .516 0 .364.364 0 0 0 0-.516L5.293 9.513l-.97-.97a.826.826 0 0 1 0-1.166.84.84 0 0 1 1.167 0l.97.968 3.437 3.436a.36.36 0 0 0 .517 0 .366.366 0 0 0 0-.516L6.977 7.83a.82.82 0 0 1-.241-.584.82.82 0 0 1 .824-.826c.219 0 .43.087.584.242l5.787 5.787a.366.366 0 0 0 .587-.415l-1.117-2.363c-.26-.56-.194-.98.204-1.289a.7.7 0 0 1 .546-.132c.283.046.545.232.727.501l2.193 3.86c1.302 2.38.883 4.59-1.277 6.75-1.156 1.156-2.602 1.627-4.19 1.367-1.418-.236-2.866-1.033-4.079-2.246M10.75 5.971l2.12 2.12c-.41.502-.465 1.17-.128 1.89l.22.465-3.523-3.523a.8.8 0 0 1-.097-.368c0-.22.086-.428.241-.584a.847.847 0 0 1 1.167 0m7.355 1.705c-.31-.461-.746-.758-1.23-.837a1.44 1.44 0 0 0-1.11.275c-.312.24-.505.543-.59.881a1.74 1.74 0 0 0-.906-.465 1.47 1.47 0 0 0-.82.106l-2.182-2.182a1.56 1.56 0 0 0-2.2 0 1.54 1.54 0 0 0-.396.701 1.56 1.56 0 0 0-2.21-.01 1.55 1.55 0 0 0-.416.753c-.624-.624-1.649-.624-2.237-.037a1.557 1.557 0 0 0 0 2.2c-.239.1-.501.238-.715.453a1.56 1.56 0 0 0 0 2.2l.516.515a1.556 1.556 0 0 0-.753 2.615L7.01 19c1.32 1.319 2.909 2.189 4.475 2.449q.482.08.971.08c.85 0 1.653-.198 2.393-.579.231.033.46.054.686.054 1.266 0 2.457-.52 3.505-1.567 2.763-2.763 2.552-5.734 1.439-7.586z" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg></div></div></div></a></span></div><div class="pw-multi-vote-count l kw kx ky kz la lb lc"><p class="bf b dv z du"><span class="ld">--</span></p></div></div></span></div><div class="bq ab"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><button class="ao ko lf lg ab q fk lh li" aria-label="responses"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" class="gt"><path d="M18.006 16.803c1.533-1.456 2.234-3.325 2.234-5.321C20.24 7.357 16.709 4 12.191 4S4 7.357 4 11.482c0 4.126 3.674 7.482 8.191 7.482.817 0 1.622-.111 2.393-.327.231.2.48.391.744.559 1.06.693 2.203 1.044 3.399 1.044.224-.008.4-.112.486-.287a.49.49 0 0 0-.042-.518c-.495-.67-.845-1.364-1.04-2.057a4 4 0 0 1-.125-.598zm-3.122 1.055-.067-.223-.315.096a8 8 0 0 1-2.311.338c-4.023 0-7.292-2.955-7.292-6.587 0-3.633 3.269-6.588 7.292-6.588 4.014 0 7.112 2.958 7.112 6.593 0 1.794-.608 3.469-2.027 4.72l-.195.168v.255c0 .056 0 .151.016.295.025.231.081.478.154.733.154.558.398 1.117.722 1.659a5.3 5.3 0 0 1-2.165-.845c-.276-.176-.714-.383-.941-.59z"></path></svg><p class="bf b bg z du"><span class="pw-responses-count le gt">20</span></p></button></div></div></div></div><div class="ab q"><div class="mq l iw"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="footerBookmarkButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?actionUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F_%2Fbookmark%2Fp%2Fd0d8fa931c20&operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jamievaron%2Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20&source=---footer_actions--d0d8fa931c20---------------------bookmark_footer------------------"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="25" height="25" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 25 25" class="du lk" aria-label="Add to list bookmark button"><path fill="currentColor" d="M18 2.5a.5.5 0 0 1 1 0V5h2.5a.5.5 0 0 1 0 1H19v2.5a.5.5 0 1 1-1 0V6h-2.5a.5.5 0 0 1 0-1H18zM7 7a1 1 0 0 1 1-1h3.5a.5.5 0 0 0 0-1H8a2 2 0 0 0-2 2v14a.5.5 0 0 0 .805.396L12.5 17l5.695 4.396A.5.5 0 0 0 19 21v-8.5a.5.5 0 0 0-1 0v7.485l-5.195-4.012a.5.5 0 0 0-.61 0L7 19.985z"></path></svg></a></span></div></div></div><div class="mq l iw"><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false" aria-describedby="postFooterSocialMenu" aria-labelledby="postFooterSocialMenu"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><button aria-controls="postFooterSocialMenu" aria-expanded="false" aria-label="Share Post" data-testid="footerSocialShareButton" class="af fk ah ai aj ak al lr an ao ap ex ls lt li lu"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="24" height="24" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><path fill="currentColor" fill-rule="evenodd" d="M15.218 4.931a.4.4 0 0 1-.118.132l.012.006a.45.45 0 0 1-.292.074.5.5 0 0 1-.3-.13l-2.02-2.02v7.07c0 .28-.23.5-.5.5s-.5-.22-.5-.5v-7.04l-2 2a.45.45 0 0 1-.57.04h-.02a.4.4 0 0 1-.16-.3.4.4 0 0 1 .1-.32l2.8-2.8a.5.5 0 0 1 .7 0l2.8 2.79a.42.42 0 0 1 .068.498m-.106.138.008.004v-.01zM16 7.063h1.5a2 2 0 0 1 2 2v10a2 2 0 0 1-2 2h-11c-1.1 0-2-.9-2-2v-10a2 2 0 0 1 2-2H8a.5.5 0 0 1 .35.15.5.5 0 0 1 .15.35.5.5 0 0 1-.15.35.5.5 0 0 1-.35.15H6.4c-.5 0-.9.4-.9.9v10.2a.9.9 0 0 0 .9.9h11.2c.5 0 .9-.4.9-.9v-10.2c0-.5-.4-.9-.9-.9H16a.5.5 0 0 1 0-1" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg></button></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></footer><div class="ph l"><div><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div class="ab pi pj pk iy ix"><div class="pl pm pn po pp pq pr ps pt pu ab cp"><div class="h k"><a tabindex="0" rel="noopener follow" href="/@jamievaron?source=post_page---post_author_info--d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------"><div class="l fj"><img alt="Jamie Varon" class="l fd by ig if cx" src="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:96:96/1*3MpSXpM0NPuplsVT1iXpQg.jpeg" width="48" height="48" loading="lazy"/><div class="fr by l ig if fs n ay pv"></div></div></a></div><div class="j i d"><a tabindex="0" rel="noopener follow" href="/@jamievaron?source=post_page---post_author_info--d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------"><div class="l fj"><img alt="Jamie Varon" class="l fd by pw px cx" src="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:128:128/1*3MpSXpM0NPuplsVT1iXpQg.jpeg" width="64" height="64" loading="lazy"/><div class="fr by l pw px fs n ay pv"></div></div></a></div><div class="j i d py iw"><div class="ab"><span><button class="bf b bg z pz oo qa qb qc qd qe ev ew qf qg qh fa fb fc fd bm fe ff">Follow</button></span></div></div></div><div class="ab co qi"><div class="qj qk ql qm qn l"><a class="af ag ah aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at ab q" rel="noopener follow" href="/@jamievaron?source=post_page---post_author_info--d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------"><h2 class="pw-author-name bf qp qq qr qs qt qu qv nc ob oc ng oe of nk oh oi bk"><span class="gn qo">Written by <!-- -->Jamie Varon</span></h2></a><div class="om ab ie"><div class="l iw"><span class="pw-follower-count bf b bg z du"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar ip" rel="noopener follow" href="/@jamievaron/followers?source=post_page---post_author_info--d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------">13.8K Followers</a></span></div><div class="bf b bg z du ab qw"><span class="iq l" aria-hidden="true"><span class="bf b bg z du">·</span></span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar ip" rel="noopener follow" href="/@jamievaron/following?source=post_page---post_author_info--d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------">180 Following</a></div></div><div class="qx l"><p class="bf b bg z bk">Author in LA. Radically Content (out now) + Main Character Energy: A Novel (fall '23). My Newsletter: <a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar nq go" href="http://jamievaron.com" rel="noopener ugc nofollow">jamievaron.com</a></p></div></div></div><div class="h k"><div class="ab"><span><button class="bf b bg z pz oo qa qb qc qd qe ev ew qf qg qh fa fb fc fd bm fe ff">Follow</button></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="qy qz ra rb rc l"><div class="rd bh r ph"></div><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div class="ab q cp"><h2 class="bf qp re rf nw rg rh nz ri rj rk rl rm rn ro rp rq bk">Responses (<!-- -->20<!-- -->)</h2><div class="ab rr"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><a class="rs rt" href="https://policy.medium.com/medium-rules-30e5502c4eb4?source=post_page---post_responses--d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------" rel="noopener follow" target="_blank"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="25" height="25" viewBox="0 0 25 25"><path fill-rule="evenodd" d="M11.987 5.036a.754.754 0 0 1 .914-.01c.972.721 1.767 1.218 2.6 1.543.828.322 1.719.485 2.887.505a.755.755 0 0 1 .741.757c-.018 3.623-.43 6.256-1.449 8.21-1.034 1.984-2.662 3.209-4.966 4.083a.75.75 0 0 1-.537-.003c-2.243-.874-3.858-2.095-4.897-4.074-1.024-1.951-1.457-4.583-1.476-8.216a.755.755 0 0 1 .741-.757c1.195-.02 2.1-.182 2.923-.503.827-.322 1.6-.815 2.519-1.535m.468.903c-.897.69-1.717 1.21-2.623 1.564-.898.35-1.856.527-3.026.565.037 3.45.469 5.817 1.36 7.515.884 1.684 2.25 2.762 4.284 3.571 2.092-.81 3.465-1.89 4.344-3.575.886-1.698 1.299-4.065 1.334-7.512-1.149-.039-2.091-.217-2.99-.567-.906-.353-1.745-.873-2.683-1.561m-.009 9.155a2.672 2.672 0 1 0 0-5.344 2.672 2.672 0 0 0 0 5.344m0 1a3.672 3.672 0 1 0 0-7.344 3.672 3.672 0 0 0 0 7.344m-1.813-3.777.525-.526.916.917 1.623-1.625.526.526-2.149 2.152z" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg></a></div></div></div></div><div class="ru rv rw rx ry rz sa l"></div><div class="mj l"><button class="bf b bg z bk oo sb sc sd lk lh qe ev ew ex se sf sg fa sh si sj sk sl fb fc fd bm fe ff">See all responses</button></div></div></div></div><div class="sm sn so sp sq l bx"><div class="h k j"><div class="rd bh sr ss"></div><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div class="st ab ki iz"><div class="su sv l"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" href="https://help.medium.com/hc/en-us?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------" rel="noopener follow"><p class="bf b dv z du">Help</p></a></div><div class="su sv l"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" href="https://medium.statuspage.io/?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------" rel="noopener follow"><p class="bf b dv z du">Status</p></a></div><div class="su sv l"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" rel="noopener follow" href="/about?autoplay=1&source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------"><p class="bf b dv z du">About</p></a></div><div class="su sv l"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" rel="noopener follow" href="/jobs-at-medium/work-at-medium-959d1a85284e?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------"><p class="bf b dv z du">Careers</p></a></div><div class="su sv l"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" href="mailto:pressinquiries@medium.com" rel="noopener follow"><p class="bf b dv z du">Press</p></a></div><div class="su sv l"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" href="https://blog.medium.com/?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------" rel="noopener follow"><p class="bf b dv z du">Blog</p></a></div><div class="su sv l"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" href="https://policy.medium.com/medium-privacy-policy-f03bf92035c9?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------" rel="noopener follow"><p class="bf b dv z du">Privacy</p></a></div><div class="su sv l"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" href="https://policy.medium.com/medium-terms-of-service-9db0094a1e0f?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------" rel="noopener follow"><p class="bf b dv z du">Terms</p></a></div><div class="su sv l"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" href="https://speechify.com/medium?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------" rel="noopener follow"><p class="bf b dv z du">Text to speech</p></a></div><div class="su l"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" rel="noopener follow" href="/business?source=post_page-----d0d8fa931c20---------------------------------------"><p class="bf b dv z du">Teams</p></a></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><script>window.__BUILD_ID__="main-20250217-104735-97209c6f68"</script><script>window.__GRAPHQL_URI__ = "https://medium.com/_/graphql"</script><script>window.__PRELOADED_STATE__ = {"algolia":{"queries":{}},"cache":{"experimentGroupSet":true,"reason":"","group":"enabled","tags":["group-edgeCachePosts","post-d0d8fa931c20","user-cf6cc587ca1e"],"serverVariantState":"44136fa355b3678a1146ad16f7e8649e94fb4fc21fe77e8310c060f61caaff8a","middlewareEnabled":true,"cacheStatus":"DYNAMIC","shouldUseCache":true,"vary":[],"pubFeaturingPostPageLabelEnabled":false},"client":{"hydrated":false,"isUs":false,"isNativeMedium":false,"isSafariMobile":false,"isSafari":false,"isFirefox":false,"routingEntity":{"type":"DEFAULT","explicit":false},"viewerIsBot":false},"debug":{"requestId":"fc70093d-003d-4e6f-a1cd-5957baaa2498","requestTag":"","hybridDevServices":[],"originalSpanCarrier":{"traceparent":"00-2da8106a09001edfb8f60d92a6c53842-f92d425ae5ba84c8-01"}},"multiVote":{"clapsPerPost":{}},"navigation":{"branch":{"show":null,"hasRendered":null,"blockedByCTA":false},"hideGoogleOneTap":false,"hasRenderedAlternateUserBanner":null,"currentLocation":"https:\u002F\u002Fmedium.com\u002F@jamievaron\u002Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20","host":"medium.com","hostname":"medium.com","referrer":"","hasSetReferrer":false,"susiModal":{"step":null,"operation":"register"},"postRead":false,"partnerProgram":{"selectedCountryCode":null},"queryString":"","currentHash":""},"config":{"nodeEnv":"production","version":"main-20250217-104735-97209c6f68","target":"production","productName":"Medium","publicUrl":"https:\u002F\u002Fcdn-client.medium.com\u002Flite","authDomain":"medium.com","authGoogleClientId":"216296035834-k1k6qe060s2tp2a2jam4ljdcms00sttg.apps.googleusercontent.com","favicon":"production","glyphUrl":"https:\u002F\u002Fglyph.medium.com","branchKey":"key_live_ofxXr2qTrrU9NqURK8ZwEhknBxiI6KBm","algolia":{"appId":"MQ57UUUQZ2","apiKeySearch":"394474ced050e3911ae2249ecc774921","indexPrefix":"medium_","host":"-dsn.algolia.net"},"recaptchaKey":"6Lfc37IUAAAAAKGGtC6rLS13R1Hrw_BqADfS1LRk","recaptcha3Key":"6Lf8R9wUAAAAABMI_85Wb8melS7Zj6ziuf99Yot5","recaptchaEnterpriseKeyId":"6Le-uGgpAAAAAPprRaokM8AKthQ9KNGdoxaGUvVp","datadog":{"applicationId":"6702d87d-a7e0-42fe-bbcb-95b469547ea0","clientToken":"pub853ea8d17ad6821d9f8f11861d23dfed","rumToken":"pubf9cc52896502b9413b68ba36fc0c7162","context":{"deployment":{"target":"production","tag":"main-20250217-104735-97209c6f68","commit":"97209c6f68966ab7e9d91faa5a1d62c2744e52fc"}},"datacenter":"us"},"googleAnalyticsCode":"G-7JY7T788PK","googlePay":{"apiVersion":"2","apiVersionMinor":"0","merchantId":"BCR2DN6TV7EMTGBM","merchantName":"Medium","instanceMerchantId":"13685562959212738550"},"applePay":{"version":3},"signInWallCustomDomainCollectionIds":["3a8144eabfe3","336d898217ee","61061eb0c96b","138adf9c44c","819cc2aaeee0"],"mediumMastodonDomainName":"me.dm","mediumOwnedAndOperatedCollectionIds":["8a9336e5bb4","b7e45b22fec3","193b68bd4fba","8d6b8a439e32","54c98c43354d","3f6ecf56618","d944778ce714","92d2092dc598","ae2a65f35510","1285ba81cada","544c7006046e","fc8964313712","40187e704f1c","88d9857e584e","7b6769f2748b","bcc38c8f6edf","cef6983b292","cb8577c9149e","444d13b52878","713d7dbc99b0","ef8e90590e66","191186aaafa0","55760f21cdc5","9dc80918cc93","bdc4052bbdba","8ccfed20cbb2"],"tierOneDomains":["medium.com","thebolditalic.com","arcdigital.media","towardsdatascience.com","uxdesign.cc","codeburst.io","psiloveyou.xyz","writingcooperative.com","entrepreneurshandbook.co","prototypr.io","betterhumans.coach.me","theascent.pub"],"topicsToFollow":["d61cf867d93f","8a146bc21b28","1eca0103fff3","4d562ee63426","aef1078a3ef5","e15e46793f8d","6158eb913466","55f1c20aba7a","3d18b94f6858","4861fee224fd","63c6f1f93ee","1d98b3a9a871","decb52b64abf","ae5d4995e225","830cded25262"],"topicToTagMappings":{"accessibility":"accessibility","addiction":"addiction","android-development":"android-development","art":"art","artificial-intelligence":"artificial-intelligence","astrology":"astrology","basic-income":"basic-income","beauty":"beauty","biotech":"biotech","blockchain":"blockchain","books":"books","business":"business","cannabis":"cannabis","cities":"cities","climate-change":"climate-change","comics":"comics","coronavirus":"coronavirus","creativity":"creativity","cryptocurrency":"cryptocurrency","culture":"culture","cybersecurity":"cybersecurity","data-science":"data-science","design":"design","digital-life":"digital-life","disability":"disability","economy":"economy","education":"education","equality":"equality","family":"family","feminism":"feminism","fiction":"fiction","film":"film","fitness":"fitness","food":"food","freelancing":"freelancing","future":"future","gadgets":"gadgets","gaming":"gaming","gun-control":"gun-control","health":"health","history":"history","humor":"humor","immigration":"immigration","ios-development":"ios-development","javascript":"javascript","justice":"justice","language":"language","leadership":"leadership","lgbtqia":"lgbtqia","lifestyle":"lifestyle","machine-learning":"machine-learning","makers":"makers","marketing":"marketing","math":"math","media":"media","mental-health":"mental-health","mindfulness":"mindfulness","money":"money","music":"music","neuroscience":"neuroscience","nonfiction":"nonfiction","outdoors":"outdoors","parenting":"parenting","pets":"pets","philosophy":"philosophy","photography":"photography","podcasts":"podcast","poetry":"poetry","politics":"politics","privacy":"privacy","product-management":"product-management","productivity":"productivity","programming":"programming","psychedelics":"psychedelics","psychology":"psychology","race":"race","relationships":"relationships","religion":"religion","remote-work":"remote-work","san-francisco":"san-francisco","science":"science","self":"self","self-driving-cars":"self-driving-cars","sexuality":"sexuality","social-media":"social-media","society":"society","software-engineering":"software-engineering","space":"space","spirituality":"spirituality","sports":"sports","startups":"startup","style":"style","technology":"technology","transportation":"transportation","travel":"travel","true-crime":"true-crime","tv":"tv","ux":"ux","venture-capital":"venture-capital","visual-design":"visual-design","work":"work","world":"world","writing":"writing"},"defaultImages":{"avatar":{"imageId":"1*dmbNkD5D-u45r44go_cf0g.png","height":150,"width":150},"orgLogo":{"imageId":"7*V1_7XP4snlmqrc_0Njontw.png","height":110,"width":500},"postLogo":{"imageId":"bd978bb536350a710e8efb012513429cabdc4c28700604261aeda246d0f980b7","height":810,"width":1440},"postPreviewImage":{"imageId":"1*hn4v1tCaJy7cWMyb0bpNpQ.png","height":386,"width":579}},"collectionStructuredData":{"8d6b8a439e32":{"name":"Elemental","data":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","ethicsPolicy":"https:\u002F\u002Fhelp.medium.com\u002Fhc\u002Fen-us\u002Farticles\u002F360043290473","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fcdn-images-1.medium.com\u002Fmax\u002F980\u002F1*9ygdqoKprhwuTVKUM0DLPA@2x.png","width":980,"height":159}}},"3f6ecf56618":{"name":"Forge","data":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","ethicsPolicy":"https:\u002F\u002Fhelp.medium.com\u002Fhc\u002Fen-us\u002Farticles\u002F360043290473","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fcdn-images-1.medium.com\u002Fmax\u002F596\u002F1*uULpIlImcO5TDuBZ6lm7Lg@2x.png","width":596,"height":183}}},"ae2a65f35510":{"name":"GEN","data":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","ethicsPolicy":"https:\u002F\u002Fhelp.medium.com\u002Fhc\u002Fen-us\u002Farticles\u002F360043290473","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fmiro.medium.com\u002Fmax\u002F264\u002F1*RdVZMdvfV3YiZTw6mX7yWA.png","width":264,"height":140}}},"88d9857e584e":{"name":"LEVEL","data":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","ethicsPolicy":"https:\u002F\u002Fhelp.medium.com\u002Fhc\u002Fen-us\u002Farticles\u002F360043290473","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fmiro.medium.com\u002Fmax\u002F540\u002F1*JqYMhNX6KNNb2UlqGqO2WQ.png","width":540,"height":108}}},"7b6769f2748b":{"name":"Marker","data":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","ethicsPolicy":"https:\u002F\u002Fhelp.medium.com\u002Fhc\u002Fen-us\u002Farticles\u002F360043290473","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fcdn-images-1.medium.com\u002Fmax\u002F383\u002F1*haCUs0wF6TgOOvfoY-jEoQ@2x.png","width":383,"height":92}}},"444d13b52878":{"name":"OneZero","data":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","ethicsPolicy":"https:\u002F\u002Fhelp.medium.com\u002Fhc\u002Fen-us\u002Farticles\u002F360043290473","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fmiro.medium.com\u002Fmax\u002F540\u002F1*cw32fIqCbRWzwJaoQw6BUg.png","width":540,"height":123}}},"8ccfed20cbb2":{"name":"Zora","data":{"@type":"NewsMediaOrganization","ethicsPolicy":"https:\u002F\u002Fhelp.medium.com\u002Fhc\u002Fen-us\u002Farticles\u002F360043290473","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fmiro.medium.com\u002Fmax\u002F540\u002F1*tZUQqRcCCZDXjjiZ4bDvgQ.png","width":540,"height":106}}}},"embeddedPostIds":{"coronavirus":"cd3010f9d81f"},"sharedCdcMessaging":{"COVID_APPLICABLE_TAG_SLUGS":[],"COVID_APPLICABLE_TOPIC_NAMES":[],"COVID_APPLICABLE_TOPIC_NAMES_FOR_TOPIC_PAGE":[],"COVID_MESSAGES":{"tierA":{"text":"For more information on the novel coronavirus and Covid-19, visit cdc.gov.","markups":[{"start":66,"end":73,"href":"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.cdc.gov\u002Fcoronavirus\u002F2019-nCoV"}]},"tierB":{"text":"Anyone can publish on Medium per our Policies, but we don’t fact-check every story. For more info about the coronavirus, see cdc.gov.","markups":[{"start":37,"end":45,"href":"https:\u002F\u002Fhelp.medium.com\u002Fhc\u002Fen-us\u002Fcategories\u002F201931128-Policies-Safety"},{"start":125,"end":132,"href":"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.cdc.gov\u002Fcoronavirus\u002F2019-nCoV"}]},"paywall":{"text":"This article has been made free for everyone, thanks to Medium Members. For more information on the novel coronavirus and Covid-19, visit cdc.gov.","markups":[{"start":56,"end":70,"href":"https:\u002F\u002Fmedium.com\u002Fmembership"},{"start":138,"end":145,"href":"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.cdc.gov\u002Fcoronavirus\u002F2019-nCoV"}]},"unbound":{"text":"This article is free for everyone, thanks to Medium Members. For more information on the novel coronavirus and Covid-19, visit cdc.gov.","markups":[{"start":45,"end":59,"href":"https:\u002F\u002Fmedium.com\u002Fmembership"},{"start":127,"end":134,"href":"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.cdc.gov\u002Fcoronavirus\u002F2019-nCoV"}]}},"COVID_BANNER_POST_ID_OVERRIDE_WHITELIST":["3b31a67bff4a"]},"sharedVoteMessaging":{"TAGS":["politics","election-2020","government","us-politics","election","2020-presidential-race","trump","donald-trump","democrats","republicans","congress","republican-party","democratic-party","biden","joe-biden","maga"],"TOPICS":["politics","election"],"MESSAGE":{"text":"Find out more about the U.S. election results here.","markups":[{"start":46,"end":50,"href":"https:\u002F\u002Fcookpolitical.com\u002F2020-national-popular-vote-tracker"}]},"EXCLUDE_POSTS":["397ef29e3ca5"]},"embedPostRules":[],"recircOptions":{"v1":{"limit":3},"v2":{"limit":8}},"braintreeClientKey":"production_zjkj96jm_m56f8fqpf7ngnrd4","braintree":{"enabled":true,"merchantId":"m56f8fqpf7ngnrd4","merchantAccountId":{"usd":"AMediumCorporation_instant","eur":"amediumcorporation_EUR","cad":"amediumcorporation_CAD"},"publicKey":"ds2nn34bg2z7j5gd","braintreeEnvironment":"production","dashboardUrl":"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.braintreegateway.com\u002Fmerchants","gracePeriodDurationInDays":14,"mediumMembershipPlanId":{"monthly":"ce105f8c57a3","monthlyV2":"e8a5e126-792b-4ee6-8fba-d574c1b02fc5","monthlyWithTrial":"d5ee3dbe3db8","monthlyPremium":"fa741a9b47a2","yearly":"a40ad4a43185","yearlyV2":"3815d7d6-b8ca-4224-9b8c-182f9047866e","yearlyStaff":"d74fb811198a","yearlyWithTrial":"b3bc7350e5c7","yearlyPremium":"e21bd2c12166","monthlyOneYearFree":"e6c0637a-2bad-4171-ab4f-3c268633d83c","monthly25PercentOffFirstYear":"235ecc62-0cdb-49ae-9378-726cd21c504b","monthly20PercentOffFirstYear":"ba518864-9c13-4a99-91ca-411bf0cac756","monthly15PercentOffFirstYear":"594c029b-9f89-43d5-88f8-8173af4e070e","monthly10PercentOffFirstYear":"c6c7bc9a-40f2-4b51-8126-e28511d5bdb0","monthlyForStudents":"629ebe51-da7d-41fd-8293-34cd2f2030a8","yearlyOneYearFree":"78ba7be9-0d9f-4ece-aa3e-b54b826f2bf1","yearly25PercentOffFirstYear":"2dbb010d-bb8f-4eeb-ad5c-a08509f42d34","yearly20PercentOffFirstYear":"47565488-435b-47f8-bf93-40d5fbe0ebc8","yearly15PercentOffFirstYear":"8259809b-0881-47d9-acf7-6c001c7f720f","yearly10PercentOffFirstYear":"9dd694fb-96e1-472c-8d9e-3c868d5c1506","yearlyForStudents":"e29345ef-ab1c-4234-95c5-70e50fe6bc23","monthlyCad":"p52orjkaceei","yearlyCad":"h4q9g2up9ktt"},"braintreeDiscountId":{"oneMonthFree":"MONTHS_FREE_01","threeMonthsFree":"MONTHS_FREE_03","sixMonthsFree":"MONTHS_FREE_06","fiftyPercentOffOneYear":"FIFTY_PERCENT_OFF_ONE_YEAR"},"3DSecureVersion":"2","defaultCurrency":"usd","providerPlanIdCurrency":{"4ycw":"usd","rz3b":"usd","3kqm":"usd","jzw6":"usd","c2q2":"usd","nnsw":"usd","q8qw":"usd","d9y6":"usd","fx7w":"cad","nwf2":"cad"}},"paypalClientId":"AXj1G4fotC2GE8KzWX9mSxCH1wmPE3nJglf4Z2ig_amnhvlMVX87otaq58niAg9iuLktVNF_1WCMnN7v","paypal":{"host":"https:\u002F\u002Fapi.paypal.com:443","clientMode":"production","serverMode":"live","webhookId":"4G466076A0294510S","monthlyPlan":{"planId":"P-9WR0658853113943TMU5FDQA","name":"Medium Membership (Monthly) with setup fee","description":"Unlimited access to the best and brightest stories on Medium. Membership billed monthly."},"yearlyPlan":{"planId":"P-7N8963881P8875835MU5JOPQ","name":"Medium Membership (Annual) with setup fee","description":"Unlimited access to the best and brightest stories on Medium. Membership billed annually."},"oneYearGift":{"name":"Medium Membership (1 Year, Digital Gift Code)","description":"Unlimited access to the best and brightest stories on Medium. Gift codes can be redeemed at medium.com\u002Fredeem.","price":"50.00","currency":"USD","sku":"membership-gift-1-yr"},"oldMonthlyPlan":{"planId":"P-96U02458LM656772MJZUVH2Y","name":"Medium Membership (Monthly)","description":"Unlimited access to the best and brightest stories on Medium. Membership billed monthly."},"oldYearlyPlan":{"planId":"P-59P80963JF186412JJZU3SMI","name":"Medium Membership (Annual)","description":"Unlimited access to the best and brightest stories on Medium. Membership billed annually."},"monthlyPlanWithTrial":{"planId":"P-66C21969LR178604GJPVKUKY","name":"Medium Membership (Monthly) with setup fee","description":"Unlimited access to the best and brightest stories on Medium. Membership billed monthly."},"yearlyPlanWithTrial":{"planId":"P-6XW32684EX226940VKCT2MFA","name":"Medium Membership (Annual) with setup fee","description":"Unlimited access to the best and brightest stories on Medium. Membership billed annually."},"oldMonthlyPlanNoSetupFee":{"planId":"P-4N046520HR188054PCJC7LJI","name":"Medium Membership (Monthly)","description":"Unlimited access to the best and brightest stories on Medium. Membership billed monthly."},"oldYearlyPlanNoSetupFee":{"planId":"P-7A4913502Y5181304CJEJMXQ","name":"Medium Membership (Annual)","description":"Unlimited access to the best and brightest stories on Medium. Membership billed annually."},"sdkUrl":"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.paypal.com\u002Fsdk\u002Fjs"},"stripePublishableKey":"pk_live_7FReX44VnNIInZwrIIx6ghjl","log":{"json":true,"level":"info"},"imageUploadMaxSizeMb":25,"staffPicks":{"title":"Staff Picks","catalogId":"c7bc6e1ee00f"}},"session":{"xsrf":""}}</script><script>window.__APOLLO_STATE__ = {"ROOT_QUERY":{"__typename":"Query","viewer":null,"collectionByDomainOrSlug({\"domainOrSlug\":\"medium.com\"})":null,"postResult({\"id\":\"d0d8fa931c20\"})":{"__ref":"Post:d0d8fa931c20"}},"LinkedAccounts:cf6cc587ca1e":{"__typename":"LinkedAccounts","mastodon":null,"id":"cf6cc587ca1e"},"User:cf6cc587ca1e":{"__typename":"User","id":"cf6cc587ca1e","linkedAccounts":{"__ref":"LinkedAccounts:cf6cc587ca1e"},"isSuspended":false,"name":"Jamie Varon","imageId":"1*3MpSXpM0NPuplsVT1iXpQg.jpeg","customDomainState":null,"hasSubdomain":false,"username":"jamievaron","verifications":{"__typename":"VerifiedInfo","isBookAuthor":false},"socialStats":{"__typename":"SocialStats","followerCount":13891,"followingCount":176,"collectionFollowingCount":4},"bio":"Author in LA. Radically Content (out now) + Main Character Energy: A Novel (fall '23). My Newsletter: jamievaron.com","membership":null,"allowNotes":true,"viewerEdge":{"__ref":"UserViewerEdge:userId:cf6cc587ca1e-viewerId:lo_14ca05805c88"},"twitterScreenName":"jamievaron"},"ImageMetadata:1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg":{"__typename":"ImageMetadata","id":"1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg","originalHeight":3456,"originalWidth":7087,"focusPercentX":null,"focusPercentY":null,"alt":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_0":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_0","name":null,"type":"IMG","href":null,"layout":"FULL_WIDTH","metadata":{"__ref":"ImageMetadata:1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg"},"text":null,"hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_1":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_1","name":"4ec4","type":"H2","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"Unlearning How To Be A Woman","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_2":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_2","name":"6086","type":"SECTION_CAPTION","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"credit","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"A","start":0,"end":6,"href":"https:\u002F\u002Funsplash.com\u002Fchrisjoelcampbell","anchorType":"LINK","userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_3":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_3","name":"ef81","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"Imagine you have this well inside of you which is full of ideas, philosophies, thoughts unique only to you. Imagine there’s talent in so much of what you do, that you feel possessed by your need to share the interior of your mind with others. Imagine you have a drive, a singular ambition to use the contents of your brain and your heart to shift the world if only in some small way. Imagine you yearn deeply for impact and power and wealth and influence and fame and acclaim. Imagine your interests lay in being visionary, inventive, different, interesting.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"EM","start":546,"end":557,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_4":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_4","name":"c36d","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"Imagine this all exists inside of you just waiting for the moment to burst out into the open air.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_5":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_5","name":"fc79","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"Then, imagine you grow up and you learn about yourself from the culture you live in. You learn that your talents are never as good as the shell those talents are presented in. You learn you are meant to be decoration on the sideline of someone else’s dream. You learn that probably the best you could hope for is to hold onto the lapels of someone else’s ambition and ride that to the top. You learn that it’s nearly impossible to own yourself in a world that seemingly wants to own you.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_6":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_6","name":"2ed6","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"You learn that you essentially need to unlearn everything your culture told you about who you are and what your value is in order to do anything you desire to do with your life. You learn that all those years of not knowing any better, of not being self-aware enough to stop toxic beliefs from affecting your self-image are years you can never get back. Years you wasted on self-doubt, self-loathing, self-hatred — all inherited from a culture which swallowed you before you learned to stand on your own.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"EM","start":39,"end":46,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_7":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_7","name":"8445","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"So, your ambition becomes malleable, a thing that can be chipped away day by day. You watch your “role models” be beautiful first and everything else second. You watch as strong, incredible women forget to build their lives. You watch as women resign themselves and continue to put their power into the hands of men because it’s simply too difficult to swim against the tide for years and years. You watch as talent, intellect become buried underneath superficialities. You watch woman after woman cave into themselves.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_8":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_8","name":"edbd","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"You become a little smaller in your approach, a little less lofty in your daydream. You start to put limits around your best ideas; tiny, and then tinier boxes to fit what you’re capable of, what you can “realistically” do. You let that indignant, bullheaded part of yourself soften, tired of being tired and more tired of being angry. You start conforming yourself to the norm more and more, molding who you are around who you’re supposed to be all while trying to make yourself believe these are your true choices.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"EM","start":409,"end":412,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null},{"__typename":"Markup","type":"EM","start":431,"end":439,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_9":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_9","name":"9492","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"You start seeing who is collecting awards, accolades, wealth, influence and you notice very few women. You start feeling less capable, less optimistic about what you can realistically achieve. You start to deflate, little by little. You find that familiar flush of anger spreading across your body. You realize those in power make it nearly impossible to succeed and then dock you for doing the impossible. Then, this same powerful group wraps up the reasoning for your lackluster success in a bullshit burrito saying women are fundamentally flawed in some crucial way that only they can understand.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"EM","start":579,"end":583,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_10":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_10","name":"eeef","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"Anger. There’s that anger again.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_11":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_11","name":"9d51","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"You realize that all the time you spent unlearning what it means to be a woman, every man you’d known spent that same exact time climbing into their dreams. That, while you were focused on just trying to survive, they were thriving, unaware of any reason not to keep going higher and higher in the life you wanted but felt too frozen to reach for. You realize you’re angry you internalized a toxic belief that your work had to come packaged inside a beautiful body if you wanted it to be noticed, that you are somehow less, that your ambition is in any way diminished or unimportant.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"EM","start":204,"end":211,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null},{"__typename":"Markup","type":"EM","start":518,"end":522,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_12":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_12","name":"9ea0","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"You realize that while you deflated, the ones who were taught to strive inflated, more and more and more until there was no more room for you, small as you might have made yourself.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"EM","start":72,"end":80,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_13":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_13","name":"4a36","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"You become enraged when you understand that your struggle was not yours alone, that there has always been less opportunity for women, less options. Angry at yourself and the culture you were born into that tells little girls they are only as good as how they look, that this is where their value lies, while telling little boys their value is limitless, dependent on nearly anything they decide for themselves. Angry, thinking about what you could have done with your twenties had you believed in the limitless of your value. Angry, thinking about the countless times your value was diminished, when the brilliant parts of yourself kept becoming dimmer and dimmer and dimmer until only a tiny flame remained.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_14":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_14","name":"9f0a","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"Angry, knowing things will change, but by only a fraction. Angry, knowing you have to work harder and smarter and longer and then only hope for recognition. Angry, that potentially this well inside of you will never be truly emptied, will never be truly seen. Angry, that it took you a decade of strife to undo this conditioning. Angry, that it took you so long to get even here to the recognition point. Angry, thinking about wasted tears and wasted time. Angry, that you didn’t know better.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"EM","start":135,"end":139,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_15":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_15","name":"674f","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"Angry.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"EM","start":0,"end":5,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_16":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_16","name":"d694","type":"P","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving me a tip.","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"A","start":42,"end":58,"href":"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.paypal.me\u002Fjamievaron","anchorType":"LINK","userId":null,"linkMetadata":null},{"__typename":"Markup","type":"STRONG","start":0,"end":59,"href":null,"anchorType":null,"userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_17":{"__typename":"Paragraph","id":"349dd81f7bd8_17","name":"08a4","type":"H4","href":null,"layout":null,"metadata":null,"text":"For more from Jamie Varon:\nFacebook and Twitter and Instagram","hasDropCap":null,"dropCapImage":null,"markups":[{"__typename":"Markup","type":"A","start":27,"end":35,"href":"http:\u002F\u002Ffacebook.com\u002Fjamievaron","anchorType":"LINK","userId":null,"linkMetadata":null},{"__typename":"Markup","type":"A","start":40,"end":47,"href":"http:\u002F\u002Ftwitter.com\u002Fjamievaron","anchorType":"LINK","userId":null,"linkMetadata":null},{"__typename":"Markup","type":"A","start":52,"end":61,"href":"http:\u002F\u002Finstagram.com\u002Fjamievaron","anchorType":"LINK","userId":null,"linkMetadata":null}],"codeBlockMetadata":null,"iframe":null,"mixtapeMetadata":null},"UserViewerEdge:userId:cf6cc587ca1e-viewerId:lo_14ca05805c88":{"__typename":"UserViewerEdge","id":"userId:cf6cc587ca1e-viewerId:lo_14ca05805c88","isMuting":false},"PostViewerEdge:postId:d0d8fa931c20-viewerId:lo_14ca05805c88":{"__typename":"PostViewerEdge","shouldIndexPostForExternalSearch":true,"id":"postId:d0d8fa931c20-viewerId:lo_14ca05805c88"},"Tag:feminism":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"feminism","displayTitle":"Feminism","normalizedTagSlug":"feminism"},"Tag:women":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"women","displayTitle":"Women","normalizedTagSlug":"women"},"Tag:careers":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"careers","displayTitle":"Careers","normalizedTagSlug":"careers"},"Post:d0d8fa931c20":{"__typename":"Post","id":"d0d8fa931c20","collection":null,"content({\"postMeteringOptions\":{\"referrer\":\"\"}})":{"__typename":"PostContent","isLockedPreviewOnly":false,"bodyModel":{"__typename":"RichText","sections":[{"__typename":"Section","name":"512d","startIndex":0,"textLayout":null,"imageLayout":null,"backgroundImage":null,"videoLayout":null,"backgroundVideo":null},{"__typename":"Section","name":"b2c7","startIndex":3,"textLayout":null,"imageLayout":null,"backgroundImage":null,"videoLayout":null,"backgroundVideo":null},{"__typename":"Section","name":"8a6d","startIndex":16,"textLayout":null,"imageLayout":null,"backgroundImage":null,"videoLayout":null,"backgroundVideo":null},{"__typename":"Section","name":"33ab","startIndex":17,"textLayout":null,"imageLayout":null,"backgroundImage":null,"videoLayout":null,"backgroundVideo":null}],"paragraphs":[{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_0"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_1"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_2"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_3"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_4"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_5"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_6"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_7"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_8"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_9"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_10"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_11"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_12"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_13"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_14"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_15"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_16"},{"__ref":"Paragraph:349dd81f7bd8_17"}]},"validatedShareKey":"","shareKeyCreator":null},"creator":{"__ref":"User:cf6cc587ca1e"},"inResponseToEntityType":null,"isLocked":false,"isMarkedPaywallOnly":false,"lockedSource":"LOCKED_POST_SOURCE_NONE","mediumUrl":"https:\u002F\u002Fmedium.com\u002F@jamievaron\u002Funlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20","primaryTopic":null,"topics":[],"isLimitedState":false,"isPublished":true,"allowResponses":true,"latestPublishedVersion":"349dd81f7bd8","visibility":"PUBLIC","postResponses":{"__typename":"PostResponses","count":20},"responseDistribution":"NOT_DISTRIBUTED","clapCount":427,"title":"Unlearning How To Be A Woman","isSeries":false,"sequence":null,"uniqueSlug":"unlearning-how-to-be-a-woman-d0d8fa931c20","socialTitle":"","socialDek":"","canonicalUrl":"","metaDescription":"","latestPublishedAt":1455144465702,"readingTime":3.818867924528302,"previewContent":{"__typename":"PreviewContent","subtitle":"Imagine you have this well inside of you which is full of ideas, philosophies, thoughts unique only to you. Imagine there’s talent in so…"},"previewImage":{"__ref":"ImageMetadata:1*BKDqEGr_n54PeEHUc26bMQ.jpeg"},"isShortform":false,"seoTitle":"","firstPublishedAt":1448928153866,"updatedAt":1528142881916,"shortformType":"SHORTFORM_TYPE_LINK","seoDescription":"","viewerEdge":{"__ref":"PostViewerEdge:postId:d0d8fa931c20-viewerId:lo_14ca05805c88"},"isSuspended":false,"license":"ALL_RIGHTS_RESERVED","tags":[{"__ref":"Tag:feminism"},{"__ref":"Tag:women"},{"__ref":"Tag:careers"}],"isFeaturedInPublishedPublication":false,"isNewsletter":false,"statusForCollection":null,"pendingCollection":null,"detectedLanguage":"en","wordCount":959,"layerCake":0,"responsesLocked":false}}</script><script>window.__MIDDLEWARE_STATE__={"session":{"xsrf":""},"cache":{"cacheStatus":"MISS"}}</script><script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/manifest.e69167e9.js"></script><script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/9865.1496d74a.js"></script><script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/main.f07b8278.js"></script><script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/instrumentation.5bef8967.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/reporting.ff22a7a5.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/5049.d1ead72d.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/4505.6dfaf853.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/6618.db187378.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/9380.fb176dee.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/2707.dc8dbee4.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/9977.933c1c9a.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/8599.68bc318b.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/3045.1cc3d8cb.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/6349.3329b100.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/2648.26563adf.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/8393.a4ecfb83.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/6428.36238b5a.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/6199.6da73f3b.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/5642.7d9f7f3d.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/6546.67eb283b.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/6834.8aa8d357.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/4492.0c3e1a1d.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/2571.6814b962.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/839.1c286b32.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/6128.f8800a13.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/2135.2e8dc177.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/7975.60bcefe8.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/144.86429b48.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/5240.6281357f.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/8819.c627c2bf.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/8204.d0637ed0.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/PostPage.MainContent.a27c27dc.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/8414.0d800846.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/3974.8d3e0217.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/2527.18a8996d.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/PostResponsesContent.e1e580cb.chunk.js"></script> <script src="https://cdn-client.medium.com/lite/static/js/responses.editor.e89462cb.chunk.js"></script><script>window.main();</script><script>(function(){function c(){var b=a.contentDocument||a.contentWindow.document;if(b){var d=b.createElement('script');d.innerHTML="window.__CF$cv$params={r:'9135783c1b99fd78',t:'MTczOTc5MjA4MS4wMDAwMDA='};var a=document.createElement('script');a.nonce='';a.src='/cdn-cgi/challenge-platform/scripts/jsd/main.js';document.getElementsByTagName('head')[0].appendChild(a);";b.getElementsByTagName('head')[0].appendChild(d)}}if(document.body){var a=document.createElement('iframe');a.height=1;a.width=1;a.style.position='absolute';a.style.top=0;a.style.left=0;a.style.border='none';a.style.visibility='hidden';document.body.appendChild(a);if('loading'!==document.readyState)c();else if(window.addEventListener)document.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded',c);else{var e=document.onreadystatechange||function(){};document.onreadystatechange=function(b){e(b);'loading'!==document.readyState&&(document.onreadystatechange=e,c())}}}})();</script></body></html>