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src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815js_/http://ad.doubleclick.net/N3051/adj/cmiss.dart/thestir_life_home_in_the_news;ap1=0;ap2=0;ap3=0;a0_0=0;a0_4=0;a0_7=0;a0_10=0;a1_0=0;a1_7=0;a2=0;a3=0;a4=0;a5=0;a6=0;a7=0;a9=0;a11=0;a13=0;a15=0;a18=0;spon=0;sens=0;m=0;mage=0;area=thestir;gcat=life_home_in_the_news;gid=0;bh=0;ent=0;lat=0;2omk=;tier=post;free=1;cip=207.241.237.100;r=0;fpv=0;sz=120x50;tile=2;ord=229757846"></script></div> </div> </div> <div class="article_header"> <h3> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://thestir.cafemom.com/tag/video" class="ubertag">Video</a> </h3> <h2 class="headline"> Mom Survives Horrifying Domestic Abuse (VIDEO) </h2> </div> <div class="article_details"> <span class="date"> by <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://thestir.cafemom.com/blogger/50/lindsay_ferrier" class="author">Lindsay Ferrier</a> on Thursday at 9:37 AM </span> <div class="clearfix"> <a href="#share_icons" class="button button_type_share floatL"><span></span>Share</a> <a href="#comments" class="comment_count floatL">11</a> </div> </div> <div class="article_body clearfix"> <p><img class="userImageLeft" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://cdn-ugc.cafemom.com/gen/resize/300/167/80/2013/06/20/09/3r/zi/pogcdhbhs01couh.png" alt="Lindsey Arp" width="300" height="167"/>It's hard to imagine a more <strong>horrifying case of domestic abuse</strong> than mother of three Lindsey Arp suffered two years ago.</p> <p>She survived, but at a <strong>tremendous physical and emotional cost.</strong> Her life -- and the lives of her children -- will never be the same. We interviewed Lindsey recently for Moms Matter, and <strong>it's a story that every woman, and every man for that matter, should see.</strong></p> <p><iframe width="500" height="281" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815if_/http://www.youtube.com/embed/b3BDjDS1wD8?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p> <p>To add insult to Lindsey's devastating injuries, <strong>her medical insurance had lapsed</strong> shortly before she was attacked. I can't even imagine going through her experience AND having to worry about how she would ever pay her medical costs.</p> <p>Fortunately, Charity Care and Dr. J. Blair Summit at Vanderbilt University Medical Center heard Lindsey's story and <strong>agreed to perform her reconstructive surgeries and treatments for free.</strong> Lindsey is also fortunate that her mother was able to move into her home and help care for Lindsey and her three children.</p> <p>The Tennessee Coalition to End Domestic and Sexual Violence is raising money to help Lindsey cover the costs of medical assistance and of raising her children- Obviously, she can no longer work. If you feel moved to donate, you can do so on the <a title="Lindsey Arp Fundraising" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://e2.ma/message/bf7ud/z10rwf" target="_blank">TN Coalition's fundraising page for Lindsey. </a></p> <p>One important lesson I learned from Lindsey's story is that by far the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the woman tries to leave- That's often when the worst abuse happens, because the perpetrator knows he has finally lost control of his victim. That's why it's imperative that if you're leaving an abusive relationship, you should try to do it swiftly and quietly. If you call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-787-3224, you can get help finding a safe way to leave and survive without your abusive partner. </p> <p>Lindsey is healing mentally as well as physically now - She has an amazing outlook on life and I am amazed at how far she's come since her ordeal. She's putting herself out there in the hope that no other woman has to experience what she did -- She obviously wishes she had left her relationship sooner, and I really hope her story helps convince other women out there that it's best to get out of their abusive relationship as soon as possible.</p> <p><strong>What do you think of Lindsey's story?</strong></p> </div> <div class="article_bottom"> <span class="tags">Filed Under: <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/women's_issues">women's issues</a> </span> <div class="clearfix space_b_15"> <a href="#comments" class="comment_count floatL">11</a> <a href="#comments" class="button button_type_more standard floatL">See Comments<span></span></a> </div> <div class="social" id="share_icons"> <h2 class="light_brown space_b_5">Share this Article</h2> <div id="share-tools-not-full" class="clearfix"> <div class="fb floatL space_r_10"> <iframe 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href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/157289/kids_say_the_craziest_things">Kids Say the Craziest Things About Mommy's 'Drinking Habit'</a></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix last no_image" onclick="window.location='https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-06-21/man-arrested-for-joking-about-having-sex-with-goats/'"> <span class="count">10</span> <div class="info"> <p class="title"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-06-21/man-arrested-for-joking-about-having-sex-with-goats/">Man Arrested For Most Disturbing Reason EVER [The Frisky]</a></p> </div> </li> </ul> </div> <div class="taboola_module module"> <span class="sh_border top_border"></span> <div id="taboola-div"></div> <script type="text/javascript"> window._taboola = window._taboola || []; _taboola.push({article:'auto'}); _taboola.push({mode:'horizontalx2-mobile', container:'taboola-div'}); </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815js_/http://cdn.taboolasyndication.com/libtrc/cafemomsite/loader.js"></script> <span class="sh_border bottom_border"></span> </div> <a name="comments"></a> <div class="comment_block" id="comments"> <div class="clearfix comments_header space_b_5"> <h2 class="floatL space_r_10">Comments</h2> <span class="comment_count floatL">11</span> </div> <ul class="comments"> <li class="comment" id="comment_3549274"> <div class="comment_details clearfix space_b_5"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://images2.cafemomstatic.com/images/user/avatars/2861804_sm.jpg;1" alt="LostS..."/> <div class="info floatL"> <span class="hide">--</span> <h3><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://mobile.cafemom.com/profile.php?sn=LostSoul88">LostSoul88</a></h3> <div class="date">Thursday at 10:07 AM</div> </div> </div> <div class="comment_body"><p>I think she's a brave young woman. I hope nothing but the best for her. </p><br class="hide"/></div> </li> <li class="comment" id="comment_3551575"> <div class="comment_details clearfix space_b_5"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://images2.cafemomstatic.com/images/user/avatars/3161341_sm.jpg;1" alt="Andre..."/> <div class="info floatL"> <span class="hide">--</span> <h3><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://mobile.cafemom.com/profile.php?sn=Andreamom001">Andreamom001</a></h3> <div class="date">Thursday at 2:25 PM</div> </div> </div> <div class="comment_body"><p>Yes, when you leave, that is the most dangerous time--make plans and leave suddenly.  Go to a safe place where abuser won't find you, like a domestic violence shelter.  Document the abuse with diary and photos before you leave, so youhave evidence for court.</p> <p>You are worthy.  It is not your fault.  Do not feel ashamed.  The abuser is the one who should be ashamed.  He or she is at fault.</p><br class="hide"/></div> </li> <li class="comment" id="comment_3551938"> <div class="comment_details clearfix space_b_5"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://images2.cafemomstatic.com/images/user/avatars/3008685_sm.jpg;1" alt="rose6572"/> <div class="info floatL"> <span class="hide">--</span> <h3><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://mobile.cafemom.com/profile.php?sn=rose6572">rose6572</a></h3> <div class="date">Thursday at 3:16 PM</div> </div> </div> <div class="comment_body"><p>Call   911  if its an emergency!  </p> <p>The 800# is good for resources and infromation  but if your life  is in danger, call  your local  police or  sheriff's departments. </p> <p> </p><br class="hide"/></div> </li> <li class="comment" id="comment_3552024"> <div class="comment_details clearfix space_b_5"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://images2.cafemomstatic.com/images/user/avatars/1377982459_sm.jpg;1" alt="Tori..."/> <div class="info floatL"> <span class="hide">--</span> Facebook comment from <h3><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1377982459">Tori La Point Monticelli</a></h3> <div class="date">Thursday at 3:27 PM</div> </div> </div> <div class="comment_body"><p>40 yrs. Kill the asshole</p> <p> </p><br class="hide"/></div> </li> <li class="comment" id="comment_3552187"> <div class="comment_details clearfix space_b_5"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://images2.cafemomstatic.com/images/user/avatars/3235325_sm.jpg;1" alt="anono..."/> <div class="info floatL"> <span class="hide">--</span> <h3><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://mobile.cafemom.com/profile.php?sn=anonomyssy">anonomyssy</a></h3> <div class="date">Thursday at 3:42 PM</div> </div> </div> <div class="comment_body"><p>911 is a joke, as are "restraining orders''...if someone wants to hurt you, they will.  <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://seattle.cbslocal.com/2013/05/23/911-dispatcher-tells-woman-about-to-be-sexually-assaulted-there-are-no-cops-to-help-her-due-to-budget-cuts/">http://seattle.cbslocal.com/2013/05/23/911-dispatcher-tells-woman-about-to-be-sexually-assaulted-there-are-no-cops-to-help-her-due-to-budget-cuts/</a></p> <p>Budgets are being, cut, cops can't always get there...you have to leave, go far away, and start a new life.  PERIOD.  Wackos don't care.  I am all for learning how to shoot and owning a gun.</p><br class="hide"/></div> </li> <li class="comment" id="comment_3553661"> <div class="comment_details clearfix space_b_5"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://static-01.cafemomstatic.com/images/library/avatar/avatar_20_sm.jpg" alt="Andrea "/> <div class="info floatL"> <span class="hide">--</span> Nonmember comment from <h3><strong>Andrea </strong></h3> <div class="date">Thursday at 6:04 PM</div> </div> </div> <div class="comment_body">He needs the death penalty jus cuz he didnt kill her don't mean he deserves to live...<br class="hide"/></div> </li> <li class="comment" id="comment_3554565"> <div class="comment_details clearfix space_b_5"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://images2.cafemomstatic.com/images/user/avatars/2950456_sm.jpg;1" alt="missy..."/> <div class="info floatL"> <span class="hide">--</span> <h3><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://mobile.cafemom.com/profile.php?sn=missybest">missybest</a></h3> <div class="date">Thursday at 7:40 PM</div> </div> </div> <div class="comment_body"><p>Why are so many men so controlling?  Why do so many men think women should be controlled, rather than loved and respected?  Where do men get this idea?  Do groups of men perpetuate this sick mentality?  This story is horrifying.  The man should never be let out of jail.</p><br class="hide"/></div> </li> <li class="comment" id="comment_3554577"> <div class="comment_details clearfix space_b_5"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://images2.cafemomstatic.com/images/user/avatars/738868713_sm.jpg;1" alt="Jessi..."/> <div class="info floatL"> <span class="hide">--</span> Facebook comment from <h3><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=738868713">Jessica Allen</a></h3> <div class="date">Thursday at 7:42 PM</div> </div> </div> <div class="comment_body">That story just broke my heart! He deserves way more than 40 years! <br class="hide"/></div> </li> <li class="comment" id="comment_3555068"> <div class="comment_details clearfix space_b_5"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://images2.cafemomstatic.com/images/user/avatars/1517772768_sm.jpg;1" alt="Karen..."/> <div class="info floatL"> <span class="hide">--</span> Facebook comment from <h3><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1517772768">Karen Sunshine Marschner-Cassel</a></h3> <div class="date">Thursday at 8:42 PM</div> </div> </div> <div class="comment_body"><p>So many women abused by Men. I also was a survivor. I finally left him. One day I opended my eyes and said you'll have to kill me to keep me here. He tried. Hired someone else to do it. Even chased me into a police dept with a knife.Wasnt staying .Did not want my children around him.Eventually he stopped drinking and sought medical help for his mental problems that stemmed around child abuse issues.He later died with my son in a car accident.My daughter survived.Just a short note to all woman that you can do it and you can survive . I know how hard it is to leave your home.Alot of times having no money. Rely on friends on friends and family. Just save yourself. You deserve it.</p><br class="hide"/></div> </li> <li class="comment" id="comment_3555250"> <div class="comment_details clearfix space_b_5"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815im_/http://images2.cafemomstatic.com/images/user/avatars/1517772768_sm.jpg;1" alt="Karen..."/> <div class="info floatL"> <span class="hide">--</span> Facebook comment from <h3><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1517772768">Karen Sunshine Marschner-Cassel</a></h3> <div class="date">Thursday at 9:05 PM</div> </div> </div> <div class="comment_body"><p>Another perfect example of abuse.</p> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151690770459558&set=gm.483631948391268&type=1&theater">https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151690770459558&set=gm.483631948391268&type=1&theater</a></p><br class="hide"/></div> </li> </ul> <div class="pager"> <div class="small space_b_10">1-10 of 11 comments</div> <div class="pagination"> <div class="space_b_10"> <span class="button">1</span><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/157273/mom_survives_horrifying_domestic_abuse?next=11#comments" class="button"><span class="button">2</span></a> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/157273/mom_survives_horrifying_domestic_abuse?next=11#comments" class="button button_type_next">next</a> </div> </div> </div> <form id="comment-form" class="comment-form" method="post" action="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/157273/mom_survives_horrifying_domestic_abuse#comment-form"> <div class="top_area padding_12"> <p class="space_b_5"> To leave a comment, log in as a CafeMom member: </p> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://mobile.cafemom.com/login.php?successURL=http://thestir.cafemom.com%2Fin_the_news%2F157273%2Fmom_survives_horrifying_domestic_abuse%3Futm_medium%3Dsm%26utm_source%3Drss%26utm_content%3Din_the_news_rssfeed%23comment-form" class="button button_type_right_arrow">Log In<span></span></a> </div> <div class="clearfix space_b_10 row padding_t_12"> <p class="space_b_10">OR, use our non-member comment form:</p> <fieldset class="nonmember"> <label for="commentName" class="floatL">Your Name:</label> <input type="text" name="commentName" id="commentName" value="" class="text floatR" maxlength="15" inputmode="user predictOn"/><br/> </div> <div class="clearfix space_b_10 row"> <label for="commentEmail" class="floatL">Your Email:</label> <input type="email" name="commentEmail" id="commentEmail" value="" class="text floatR" maxlength="100" inputmode="user lowerCase predictOff"/><br/> </div> <div class="clearfix row space_b_10"> <label for="commentURL" class="floatL">Your Blog URL:</label> <input type="url" name="commentURL" value="" class="text floatR" maxlength="490" inputmode="user lowerCase predictOff" placeholder="Optional"/><br/> </div> </fieldset> <div class="row space_b_10"> <label for="commentBody" class="space_b_5">Your Comment:</label> <textarea id="commentBody" name="commentBody" inputmode="user predictOn" placeholder="What do you want to say?"></textarea> </div> <div class="row padding_b_12 clearfix"> <button class="submit button floatR" type="submit">Submit</button> </div> </form> </div> </div> </div> <div class="mobile-ad-footer"> <script type="text/javascript"> var url='https://web.archive.org/web/20130622140815/http://ad.doubleclick.net/N3051/adj/cmiss.dart/thestir_life_home_in_the_news;ap1=0;ap2=0;ap3=0;a0_0=0;a0_4=0;a0_7=0;a0_10=0;a1_0=0;a1_7=0;a2=0;a3=0;a4=0;a5=0;a6=0;a7=0;a9=0;a11=0;a13=0;a15=0;a18=0;spon=0;sens=0;m=0;mage=0;area=thestir;gcat=life_home_in_the_news;gid=0;bh=0;ent=0;lat=0;2omk=;tier=post;free=1;cip=207.241.237.100;r=0;fpv=0;sz=300x50,300x251,320x50;tile=3;ord=229757846;'; 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