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pbAdUnitsData=this.adElement.getAttribute("data-pbadunits"),WH.shared.isSmallSize&&(this.pbAdUnitsData=this.adElement.getAttribute("data-pbadunitssmall")||this.pbAdUnitsData),this.pbAdUnitsData&&(d=k,"/10095428/engl/engl_gam_lgm_rght2"==k&&(d=this.adTargetId),"/10095428/intl/intl_gam_lgm_rght2"==k&&(d=this.adTargetId),WH.shared.isTest("webvitalsINP")&&"/10095428/engl/engl_gam_sma_meth0"==k&&(d=this.adTargetId),ob(d,this.pbAdUnitsData,this.sizesArray,k),d=!0));if(this.pbload&&!d){var l=!1,n=this.type,m=[],t=this.rightrailmore;T.forEach(function(c){c.code==k&&(l=!0,1==t&&"rightrail"==n&&(c=JSON.parse(JSON.stringify(c)),c.code=a.id,m.push(c)))});0<m.length&&(h("adding rr ad units copied from main rr config"),p(m));0==l&&(this.pbload=!1,h("ad set up for prebid but not found in bids list. will set prebid to false for",k))}this.pbTargetingAdded=!1;this.insertSlotValue=this.adElement.getAttribute("data-insertslotvalue");this.pagetype=this.adElement.getAttribute("data-pagetype");"true"==window 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ads.init();</script><div id="content_inner"><script>if (typeof mw != 'undefined') { mw.mobileFrontend.emit( 'header-loaded' ); }</script><div class="pre-content"><ul id="breadcrumb" class="breadcrumbs" aria-label="Category breadcrumbs"><li><a href="/Special:CategoryListing" title="Special:CategoryListing">Categories</a></li><li><a href="/Category:Education-and-Communications" title="Category:Education and Communications">Education and Communications</a></li><li><a href="/Category:Personal-Development" title="Category:Personal Development">Personal Development</a></li><li><a href="/Category:Self-Discovery" title="Category:Self Discovery">Self Discovery</a></li></ul><h1 id="section_0" class="title_lg"><a href="https://www.wikihow.com/Define-Yourself">How to Define Yourself</a></h1></div><div id="bodyContent" class="content"><script>window.WH=window.WH||{};window.WH.c=function(){function C(){var a=D().split("x")[0];return"undefined"!=typeof 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src="/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg" alt="PDF download" width="150" height="150"> <span class="pdfText">Download Article</span> </a> <div role="navigation" id="method_toc" class="en_toc"> <div class="method_toc_div"> <span class="header_toc">Explore this Article</span> <div id="method_toc_list"> <div class="toc_header">methods</div> <div class="method_toc_item toc_method " id="" data-section=""> <a class="method_toc_item_a" href="#Discovering-Your-Identity"> <span class="method_toc_item_a_span">1</span> Discovering Your Identity </a> </div> <div class="method_toc_item toc_method " id="" data-section=""> <a class="method_toc_item_a" href="#Creating-Your-Self-Definition"> <span class="method_toc_item_a_span">2</span> Creating Your Self-Definition </a> </div> <div class="toc_header">Other Sections</div> <div class="method_toc_item toc_post" id="qa_toc" data-section="#qa_headline"> <a class="method_toc2_item_a" href="#qa_headline"> Expert Q&A </a> </div> <div class="method_toc_item toc_post" id="othervideo_toc" data-section="#Video"> <a class="method_toc2_item_a" href="#Video"> Video </a> </div> <div class="method_toc_item toc_post" id="tips_toc" data-section="#tips"> <a class="method_toc2_item_a" href="#tips"> Tips and Warnings </a> </div> <div class="method_toc_item toc_post" id="rwh_toc" data-section="#relatedwikihows"> <a class="method_toc2_item_a" href="#relatedwikihows"> Related Articles </a> </div> <div class="method_toc_item toc_post" id="toc_ref" data-section="#References"> <a class="method_toc2_item_a" href="#References"> References </a> </div> <div class="method_toc_item toc_post" id="summary_toc" data-section="#summary_wrapper"> <a class="method_toc2_item_a" href="#summary_wrapper"> Article Summary </a> </div> </div> <div id="toc_line"></div> </div> </div> <div id="coauthor_byline" class="article_byline "> <div id="byline_info"> <span class=""> <b>Co-authored by</b> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" class="coauthor_link coauthor_checkstar">Camber Hill</a> </span> <p id="coauthor_byline_p"> <a href="#" class="byline_info_link hover_pop"> <span class="last_updated_highlighted">Last Updated: July 31, 2024</span> </a> <a href="#" class="eat_tag">Fact Checked</a> </p> </div> </div> <a class="small_pdf_link pdf_link disabled " href="#"> <img class="pdf_link-img" loading="lazy" src="/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg" alt="PDF download" width="150" height="150"> <span class="pdfText">Download Article</span> </a> <div id="byline_hover" hidden> <div id="byline_hover_close">X</div> <div id="byline_hover_body"> <p> This article was co-authored by <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill">Camber Hill</a>. Camber Hill is a numerologist, author, speaker, and the owner of Camber Hill Coaching based in Long Beach, California. For over 37 years, Camber has coached entrepreneurs, creatives, business executives, and professional sports figures. He has also inspired creatives in the entertainment industry such as professional directors, writers, actors, and top radio personalities. Camber’s unique use of numerology allows him to understand the under-current which drives his clients to create long-term solutions and measurable results. His work has been featured in the History Channel's "The Human Calculator," The Los Angeles Times, Palm Springs Life Magazine, and California radio programs. He is also a member of The International Coaching Federations and is a board member of the ICF Orange County's Board of Directors. Additionally, Camber is distinguished as a certified business owner by the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. <br><br> This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. <br><br> This article has been viewed 504,419 times. </p> </div> </div> <div class="mf-section-0" id="mf-section-0"> <p>Everyone struggles to figure out who people truly are. Often when they define themselves they focus on the negative or how they compare to other people. Nobody but you can define who you are but this article has some tips on how to look at the ways you define yourself and how to make it positive. </p> </div> <div class="clearall"></div> <div class="wh_ad_inner w_label al_grey" data-service="adsense" data-instantload="1" data-slot="7672188889" data-width="728" data-height="120" data-smallslot="8943394577" data-smallheight="120" data-innerclass="full-width" data-full-width-intro="true" data-type="intro" data-small="1" data-medium="1" data-large="1" data-channels="9848412230,4657739586" data-largechannels="7020581953,2060152247,5763098696" data-mediumchannels="8142447154,4066873649" data-smallchannels="1761065154,8156154280" data-smallservice_eu="dfp" data-smalladunitpath="/10095428/engl/engl_gam_sma_intro" data-smallsize="[[300, 100],[320,100]]" data-smallheight_eu="100" data-mediumservice_eu="dfp" data-mediumadunitpath="/10095428/engl/engl_gam_sma_intro" data-mediumsize="[[300, 100],[320,100]]" data-service_eu="dfp" data-size="[[728, 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<div class="mw-ui-icon mw-ui-icon-element indicator"></div> <span class="mw-headline" id="Steps">Steps</span> </h2> <div class="mf-section-1 collapsible-block" id="mf-section-1"> <div class="section steps steps_first sticky"> <div class="headline_container block_header in-block subheadline"> <div class="altblock"><div>Method <span>1</span> </div> </div> <div class="headline_info"> <div class="method_label">Method 1 of 2:</div> <h3><span class="mw-headline" id="Discovering-Your-Identity">Discovering Your Identity</span></h3> </div> <a class="large_pdf_link pdf_link disabled pdf_link_steps " href="#"> <img class="pdf_link-img" loading="lazy" src="/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg" alt="PDF download" width="150" height="150"> <span class="pdfText">Download Article</span> </a> </div> <div id="steps_1" class="section_text"> <ol class="steps_list_2"> <li id="step-id-00"> <a name="step_1_1" class="stepanchor"></a><div class="mwimg largeimage floatcenter "><a href="#/Image:Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg" class="image"><picture id="f624fb153c330c7361d8451b37a86c8f"><source type="image/webp" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0b/Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg.webp 460w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0b/Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg 460w"></source><source type="image/webp" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/0/0b/Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg.webp 728w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/0/0b/Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg 728w"></source><img alt="Step 1 Know yourself." src="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0b/Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg" decoding="async" class="whcdn" width="460" height="345" priority="high" onload="WH.performance.clearMarks('image1_rendered'); WH.performance.mark('image1_rendered');"><script>WH.performance.clearMarks('image1_rendered'); WH.performance.mark('image1_rendered');</script></picture><div class="image_details"><script type="application/json">{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0b\/Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0b\/Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg\/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2025 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}</script></div></a></div> <div class="step_num" aria-hidden="true">1</div><div class="step"> <b class="whb" aria-hidden="true">Know yourself.</b> Self-knowledge, particularly non-judgmental self-knowledge, is an incredibly important skill to help you define yourself. You'll need to understand what makes you tick and what your thought processes are before you can define who you are as a person.<sup id="_ref-1" class="reference trusted" aria-label="Link to Reference 1"><a href="#_note-1">[1]</a><span class="ts_popup trustedsource" hidden id="ts_popup_1" style="display: none;"> <span class="ts_close">X</span> <a class="ts_trustworthy" href="/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience">Expert Source</a> <span class="ts_name"></span> <a class="ts_expert_link" href="/Author/Camber-Hill"><span class="ts_expert_image"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-100-100-91px-Camber_Hill2.png.webp"></source><img src="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-100-100-91px-Camber_Hill2.png" alt="Camber Hill" loading="lazy" width="30" height="30" style="max-width: 30px"></picture></span>Camber Hill<br><span class="ts_blurb">Life Coach</span></a> <span class="ts_description">Expert Interview. 16 June 2020.</span> </span> </sup> <ul> <li>Mindfulness means paying attention to what you are thinking and observing your patterns of thought. For instance, you might realize that you have a tendency to feel that people don't care what you think and that your opinions are unimportant. Recognizing that you have these thoughts and catching them before they start causing you anxiety, can help you piece together the important parts of your identity.</li> <li>When you start paying attention to your thought processes and patterns you'll need to practice attentive non-judgment. This means being aware of your thought patterns and acknowledging them, but not beating yourself up over them. Everyone has negative thought patterns and processes. By paying attention to them, you can eliminate them from your mind.</li> </ul> <script>WH.performance.mark('step1_rendered');</script> </div> <div class="clearall"></div> <div class="scrolltomarker" data-isstep="1"></div> </li> <li id="step-id-01"> <a name="step_1_2" class="stepanchor"></a><div class="mwimg largeimage floatcenter "><a href="#/Image:Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg" class="image"><picture id="a4a308d69905ae3053cc48c97849e3cc"><source type="image/webp" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/68/Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg.webp 460w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/68/Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg 460w"></source><source type="image/webp" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/6/68/Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg.webp 728w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/6/68/Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg 728w"></source><img alt="Step 2 Notice how you identify yourself." src="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/68/Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg" decoding="async" class="whcdn" width="460" height="345" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image_details"><script type="application/json">{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg\/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2025 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}</script></div></a></div> <div class="step_num" aria-hidden="true">2</div><div class="step"> <b class="whb" aria-hidden="true">Notice how you identify yourself.</b> Once you start paying attention to the way you think about yourself and about the world, look specifically for the ways in which you identify yourself. See what groups and communities you use to create your identity. All of these inform how you see yourself and tell you what you are letting define you.<sup id="_ref-2" class="reference" aria-label="Link to Reference 2"><a href="#_note-2">[2]</a><span class="ts_popup " hidden id="ts_popup_2" style="display: none;"> <span class="ts_close">X</span> <span class="ts_name">Research source</span> <span class="ts_description"></span> <a href="#" class="ts_source" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener"></a> </span> </sup> <ul> <li>For example, look at things like religion, nationality, sexual identity and see if those are ways you define yourself.</li> <li>Look at the roles you take on, such as your job, your position in your family (mother, father, sister, brother), your romantic status (single, couple, etc.).</li> </ul> </div> <div class="clearall"></div> <div class="wh_ad_inner w_label al_grey" data-service="adsense" data-slot="4498472735" data-smallheight="250" data-small="1" data-type="step2" data-containerless="1" data-fullwidthadsense="1" data-aditudetarget="pb-slot-engl-meth" data-channels="4657739586" data-largechannels="2060152247,5763098696" data-smallchannels="8156154280" data-mediumchannels="4066873649" data-pagetype="methods" data-observerloading="1" data-sizes-array="0" data-gptdisplaylate="1"><div id="step2_ad_1"></div></div> <div class="al_method">Advertisement</div> <script>WH.ads.addBodyAd('step2_ad_1')</script><div class="scrolltomarker" data-isstep="1"></div> </li> <li id="step-id-02"> <a name="step_1_3" class="stepanchor"></a><div class="mwimg largeimage floatcenter "><a href="#/Image:Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg" class="image"><picture id="ff81ff3e92363dfa0b203ebc259316e6"><source type="image/webp" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/05/Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg.webp 460w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/05/Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg 460w"></source><source type="image/webp" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/0/05/Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg.webp 728w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/0/05/Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg 728w"></source><img alt="Step 3 Jot down thought processes and self-definitions." src="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/05/Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg" decoding="async" class="whcdn" width="460" height="345" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image_details"><script type="application/json">{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/05\/Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/05\/Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg\/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2025 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}</script></div></a></div> <div class="step_num" aria-hidden="true">3</div><div class="step"> <b class="whb" aria-hidden="true">Jot down thought processes and self-definitions.</b> To become adept at seeing your thought processes and definitions and how those determine how you act and who you are, write them down in a notebook as you identify them. You'll be able to see how you consider yourself and it will make it easier to eliminate the negative associations.<sup id="_ref-3" class="reference trusted" aria-label="Link to Reference 3"><a href="#_note-3">[3]</a><span class="ts_popup trustedsource" hidden id="ts_popup_3" style="display: none;"> <span class="ts_close">X</span> <a class="ts_trustworthy" href="/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience">Expert Source</a> <span class="ts_name"></span> <a class="ts_expert_link" href="/Author/Camber-Hill"><span class="ts_expert_image"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-100-100-91px-Camber_Hill2.png.webp"></source><img src="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-100-100-91px-Camber_Hill2.png" alt="Camber Hill" loading="lazy" width="30" height="30" style="max-width: 30px"></picture></span>Camber Hill<br><span class="ts_blurb">Life Coach</span></a> <span class="ts_description">Expert Interview. 16 June 2020.</span> </span> </sup> <ul><li>Talking to and working with a clinical psychologist can greatly help in uncovering patterns of thinking and being. They can also help you deal with the more negative aspects of your thinking.</li></ul> </div> <div class="clearall"></div> <div class="wh_ad_inner w_label al_grey" data-service="dfp" data-adunitpath="/10095428/engl/engl_gam_lgm_early" data-size="[728, 90]" data-prebidload="1" data-apsload="1" data-aps-timeout="2000" data-width="728" data-height="90" data-large="1" data-medium="1" data-channels="4657739586" data-type="method" data-aditudetarget="pb-slot-engl-early" data-largechannels="2060152247,5763098696" data-smallchannels="8156154280" data-mediumchannels="4066873649" data-pagetype="methods" data-observerloading="1" data-sizes-array="[728, 90]" data-gptdisplaylate="1" data-pbadunits='{"appnexus":20261434,"pubmatic":"3224245","ix":"579271","amx":"d2lraWhvdy5jb20","rubicon":"1849304","shemedia":"2952570","openx":"542288968","triplelift":"Wikihow_engl_gam_lgm_early_728x90_Prebid","yahooAds":"8a9690fd017474dafe8adc342f970052","yieldmo":"2581129714420621360","grid":168926,"medianet":"525411714","rise":"engl_gam_lgm_early","sharethrough":"gRRuNlH2aMjBmEgjkjw9vqwh"}'><div id="method_ad_1"></div></div> <script>WH.ads.addBodyAd('method_ad_1')</script> </li> <div class="wh_ad_inner w_label al_grey dfpsmall dfpsmallmethod containerless_ad fluid" data-service="adsense" data-slot="7710650179" data-width="728" data-height="90" data-smallheight="250" data-type="method" data-small="1" data-channels="4657739586" data-smallservice="dfp" data-adunitpath="/10095428/engl/engl_gam_sma_meth0" data-size='[[300, 250],"fluid"]' data-apsload="1" data-prebidload="1" data-aps-timeout="800" data-containerless="1" data-fullwidthadsense="1" data-fluidsize="1" data-mediumchannels="3005955957,4066873649" data-smallchannels="2811805837,8156154280" data-aditudetarget="pb-slot-engl-meth" data-largechannels="2060152247,5763098696" data-insertslotvalue="1" data-pagetype="methods" data-observerloading="1" data-sizes-array='[[300, 250],"fluid"]' data-gptdisplaylate="1" data-pbadunits='{"appnexus":29111279,"pubmatic":"4926794","ix":"944751","amx":"d2lraWhvdy5jb20","rubicon":"2756126","shemedia":"2952570","openx":"558892622","triplelift":"Wikihow_engl_gam_sma_meth0_300x250_Prebid","yieldmo":"3204666393567896410","grid":383057,"medianet":"521047606","rise":"engl_gam_sma_meth0","sharethrough":"xZq2HSiUJL1GRBHUi49ybeLd"}'><div id="mobilemethod_ad_1"></div></div> <div class="al_method">Advertisement</div> <script>WH.ads.addBodyAd('mobilemethod_ad_1')</script> </ol> <div class="clearall"></div> </div> </div> <div class="section steps sticky"> <div class="headline_container block_header in-block subheadline"> <div class="altblock"><div>Method <span>2</span> </div> </div> <div class="headline_info"> <div class="method_label">Method 2 of 2:</div> <h3><span class="mw-headline" id="Creating-Your-Self-Definition">Creating Your Self-Definition</span></h3> </div> <a class="large_pdf_link pdf_link disabled pdf_link_steps " href="#"> <img class="pdf_link-img" loading="lazy" src="/extensions/wikihow/socialstamp/images/icon-pdf.svg" alt="PDF download" width="150" height="150"> <span class="pdfText">Download Article</span> </a> </div> <div id="steps_2" class="section_text"> <ol class="steps_list_2"> <li id="step-id-13"> <a name="step_2_1" class="stepanchor"></a><div class="mwimg largeimage floatcenter "><a href="#/Image:Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg" class="image"><picture id="1397b1ce7adec1baf4963f83508bd32a"><source type="image/webp" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/6c/Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg.webp 460w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/6c/Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg 460w"></source><source type="image/webp" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/6/6c/Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg.webp 728w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/6/6c/Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg 728w"></source><img alt="Step 1 Record your negative definitions." src="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/6/6c/Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg" decoding="async" class="whcdn" width="460" height="345" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image_details"><script type="application/json">{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6c\/Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/6c\/Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg\/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2025 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}</script></div></a></div> <div class="step_num" aria-hidden="true">1</div><div class="step"> <b class="whb" aria-hidden="true">Record your negative definitions.</b> Recording them and paying attention to them will help you let go of them. Getting them out in the open can help to take away some of their hold on your mind and self.<sup id="_ref-4" class="reference trusted" aria-label="Link to Reference 4"><a href="#_note-4">[4]</a><span class="ts_popup trustedsource" hidden id="ts_popup_4" style="display: none;"> <span class="ts_close">X</span> <a class="ts_trustworthy" href="/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience">Trustworthy Source</a> <span class="ts_name">Cleveland Clinic</span> <span class="ts_description">Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals</span> <a href="#" class="ts_source" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener">Go to source</a> </span> </sup> <ul><li>Don't limit yourself in negative ways. Definition of the self determines the action. So, for instance, if you're defining yourself as someone who has bad romantic relationships, you've already lost the potential for a good romantic relationship. It is a story that you tell yourself, and then because you believe the story, you will already be behaving in ways that make the story true.</li></ul> </div> <div class="clearall"></div> <div class="scrolltomarker" data-isstep="1"></div> </li> <li id="step-id-14"> <a name="step_2_2" class="stepanchor"></a><div class="mwimg largeimage floatcenter "><a href="#/Image:Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg" class="image"><picture id="199decc728a01d90318033172795b0ff"><source type="image/webp" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/ee/Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg.webp 460w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/ee/Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg 460w"></source><source type="image/webp" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/e/ee/Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg.webp 728w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/e/ee/Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg 728w"></source><img alt="Step 2 Identify your core values." src="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/ee/Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg" decoding="async" class="whcdn" width="460" height="345" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image_details"><script type="application/json">{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/ee\/Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/ee\/Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg\/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2025 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}</script></div></a></div> <div class="step_num" aria-hidden="true">2</div><div class="step"> <b class="whb" aria-hidden="true">Identify your core values.</b> You don't want to define yourself based on outside forces, because outside forces are volatile and subject to constant change. By basing your self-definition on core values, you will have a better chance of having a stable self-definition.<sup id="_ref-5" class="reference" aria-label="Link to Reference 5"><a href="#_note-5">[5]</a><span class="ts_popup " hidden id="ts_popup_5" style="display: none;"> <span class="ts_close">X</span> <span class="ts_name">Research source</span> <span class="ts_description"></span> <a href="#" class="ts_source" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener"></a> </span> </sup> <ul> <li>You won't lose your self-identity if you base it on values you hold at your core, like compassion, courage, integrity.</li> <li>Write down a list of these values and consciously and mindfully act them out in your daily life. Therefore, if courage is one of your core values, stand up for someone being harassed at the bus stop, or if honesty is a core value, fess up to having lost your father's favorite watch. If compassion is on that list, spend time volunteering at a homeless shelter.</li> </ul> </div> <div class="clearall"></div> <div class="scrolltomarker" data-isstep="1"></div> </li> <li class="final_li" id="step-id-15"> <a name="step_2_3" class="stepanchor"></a><div class="mwimg largeimage floatcenter "><a href="#/Image:Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg" class="image"><picture id="4a9e5c053f74b5868d5d2fee461dc311"><source type="image/webp" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/2c/Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg.webp 460w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(max-width: 728px)" width="460" height="546" srcset="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/2c/Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg 460w"></source><source type="image/webp" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/2/2c/Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg.webp 728w"></source><source type="image/jpeg" media="(min-width: 729px)" width="728" height="546" srcset="/images/thumb/2/2c/Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg 728w"></source><img alt="Step 3 Define yourself in positive ways." src="https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/2c/Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg" decoding="async" class="whcdn" width="460" height="345" loading="lazy"></picture><div class="image_details"><script type="application/json">{"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2c\/Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2c\/Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg\/aid1710458-v4-728px-Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2025 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}</script></div></a></div> <div class="step_num" aria-hidden="true">3</div><div class="step"> <b class="whb" aria-hidden="true">Define yourself in positive ways.</b> This doesn't mean that you don't acknowledge the negative events and actions that have happened in your life. They are as much a part of you as the positive, but they do not define you.<sup id="_ref-6" class="reference trusted" aria-label="Link to Reference 6"><a href="#_note-6">[6]</a><span class="ts_popup trustedsource" hidden id="ts_popup_6" style="display: none;"> <span class="ts_close">X</span> <a class="ts_trustworthy" href="/wikiHow:Delivering-a-Trustworthy-Experience">Trustworthy Source</a> <span class="ts_name">Cleveland Clinic</span> <span class="ts_description">Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals</span> <a href="#" class="ts_source" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener">Go to source</a> </span> </sup> <ul> <li>This means don't let outside circumstances rule your identity. That comes from within in, from the core values that you have already identified as being important to your identity.</li> <li>Understand that the negative experiences in your life have offered knowledge. For example, if you have had negative experiences with romance, learn from those experiences. 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For over 37 years, Camber has coached entrepreneurs, creatives, business executives, and professional sports figures. He has also inspired creatives in the entertainment industry such as professional directors, writers, actors, and top radio personalities. Camber’s unique use of numerology allows him to understand the under-current which drives his clients to create long-term solutions and measurable results. His work has been featured in the History Channel's "The Human Calculator," The Los Angeles Times, Palm Springs Life Magazine, and California radio programs. He is also a member of The International Coaching Federations and is a board member of the ICF Orange County's Board of Directors. Additionally, Camber is distinguished as a certified business owner by the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. </div> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" class="sp_namelink qa_person_circle" target="_blank"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-200-200-182px-Camber_Hill2.png.webp"></source><img src="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-200-200-182px-Camber_Hill2.png" alt="Camber Hill" loading="lazy" width="52" height="52" style="max-width: 52px"></picture></a> <div class="qa_answerer_info"> <div class="qa_user_name"> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" target="_blank">Camber Hill</a> </div> <div class="qa_user_title">Life Coach</div> <div class="qa_user_label">Expert Answer</div> </div> </div> <div class="qa_answer answer "> I'd say self-respect and core values are strong contenders. You need to know what you care about and believe in if you're going to define yourself. On top of that, you have to have the self-awareness and self-love to determine what you're willing to put up with and fight for. </div> <div class="qa_answer_footer"> <div class="wh_vote_container qa_vote_buttons"> <span class="wh_thumb_response wh_thumb_msg"> <span class="wh_thumb_helpful"><b>Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.</b><br></span> <span class="wh_thumb_unhelpful"><b>Thank you for your feedback.</b><br></span> <span class="wh_thumb_contribute"> If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Contribute" class="wh_thumbs_claim_gift wh_thumbs_contribute_button button"> Support wikiHow </a> </span> </span> <div class="qa_widget_vote_links"> <a href="#" class="wh_vote_up wh_vote_box button secondary">Yes</a> <a href="#" class="wh_vote_down wh_vote_box button secondary">No</a> </div> <div class="qa_widget_vote_buttons"> <a href="#" class="wh_vote_down wh_vote_box">Not Helpful <span>3</span></a> <a href="#" class="wh_vote_up wh_vote_box">Helpful <span>18</span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </li> <li id="qa_question_1" class="qa_aq qa_block " data-aqid="704619" data-cqid="704636" data-caid="705492" data-sqid="" data-qa_inactive="0" data-votes_up="27" data-votes_down="3" data-verifier_id="161439" data-submitter_id="5586940"> <div class="qa_divider"></div> <div class="qa_li_container"> <div class="qa_question_tab">Question</div> <div class="qa_q_txt">Why do I have such a hard time defining who I am?</div> <div class="qa_answers"> <div class="qa_expert_area"> <div class="qa_badge"></div> <div class="qa_user_hover hint_box"> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" class="sp_namelink qa_person_circle" target="_blank"> <picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-200-200-182px-Camber_Hill2.png.webp"></source><img src="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-200-200-182px-Camber_Hill2.png" alt="Camber Hill" loading="lazy" width="52" height="52" style="max-width: 52px"></picture> </a> <div class="qa_expert_name"> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" class="sp_namelink click_out" target="_blank"> Camber Hill </a> <br> Life Coach </div> Camber Hill is a numerologist, author, speaker, and the owner of Camber Hill Coaching based in Long Beach, California. For over 37 years, Camber has coached entrepreneurs, creatives, business executives, and professional sports figures. He has also inspired creatives in the entertainment industry such as professional directors, writers, actors, and top radio personalities. Camber’s unique use of numerology allows him to understand the under-current which drives his clients to create long-term solutions and measurable results. His work has been featured in the History Channel's "The Human Calculator," The Los Angeles Times, Palm Springs Life Magazine, and California radio programs. He is also a member of The International Coaching Federations and is a board member of the ICF Orange County's Board of Directors. Additionally, Camber is distinguished as a certified business owner by the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. </div> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" class="sp_namelink qa_person_circle" target="_blank"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-200-200-182px-Camber_Hill2.png.webp"></source><img src="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-200-200-182px-Camber_Hill2.png" alt="Camber Hill" loading="lazy" width="52" height="52" style="max-width: 52px"></picture></a> <div class="qa_answerer_info"> <div class="qa_user_name"> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" target="_blank">Camber Hill</a> </div> <div class="qa_user_title">Life Coach</div> <div class="qa_user_label">Expert Answer</div> </div> </div> <div class="qa_answer answer "> Ask yourself, "What makes me happy?" and, "What makes me unhappy?" The answer to those questions are going to open up a lot of doors as far as defining yourself goes. </div> <div class="qa_answer_footer"> <div class="wh_vote_container qa_vote_buttons"> <span class="wh_thumb_response wh_thumb_msg"> <span class="wh_thumb_helpful"><b>Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.</b><br></span> <span class="wh_thumb_unhelpful"><b>Thank you for your feedback.</b><br></span> <span class="wh_thumb_contribute"> If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.wikihow.com/wikiHow:Contribute" class="wh_thumbs_claim_gift wh_thumbs_contribute_button button"> Support wikiHow </a> </span> </span> <div class="qa_widget_vote_links"> <a href="#" class="wh_vote_up wh_vote_box button secondary">Yes</a> <a href="#" class="wh_vote_down wh_vote_box button secondary">No</a> </div> <div class="qa_widget_vote_buttons"> <a href="#" class="wh_vote_down wh_vote_box">Not Helpful <span>3</span></a> <a href="#" class="wh_vote_up wh_vote_box">Helpful <span>27</span></a> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </li> <li id="qa_question_2" class="qa_aq qa_block " data-aqid="704620" data-cqid="704637" data-caid="705493" data-sqid="" data-qa_inactive="0" data-votes_up="23" data-votes_down="6" data-verifier_id="161439" data-submitter_id="5586940"> <div class="qa_divider"></div> <div class="qa_li_container"> <div class="qa_question_tab">Question</div> <div class="qa_q_txt">How can I figure out what kind of person I am?</div> <div class="qa_answers"> <div class="qa_expert_area"> <div class="qa_badge"></div> <div class="qa_user_hover hint_box"> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" class="sp_namelink qa_person_circle" target="_blank"> <picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-200-200-182px-Camber_Hill2.png.webp"></source><img src="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-200-200-182px-Camber_Hill2.png" alt="Camber Hill" loading="lazy" width="52" height="52" style="max-width: 52px"></picture> </a> <div class="qa_expert_name"> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" class="sp_namelink click_out" target="_blank"> Camber Hill </a> <br> Life Coach </div> Camber Hill is a numerologist, author, speaker, and the owner of Camber Hill Coaching based in Long Beach, California. For over 37 years, Camber has coached entrepreneurs, creatives, business executives, and professional sports figures. He has also inspired creatives in the entertainment industry such as professional directors, writers, actors, and top radio personalities. Camber’s unique use of numerology allows him to understand the under-current which drives his clients to create long-term solutions and measurable results. His work has been featured in the History Channel's "The Human Calculator," The Los Angeles Times, Palm Springs Life Magazine, and California radio programs. He is also a member of The International Coaching Federations and is a board member of the ICF Orange County's Board of Directors. Additionally, Camber is distinguished as a certified business owner by the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. </div> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" class="sp_namelink qa_person_circle" target="_blank"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-200-200-182px-Camber_Hill2.png.webp"></source><img src="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-200-200-182px-Camber_Hill2.png" alt="Camber Hill" loading="lazy" width="52" height="52" style="max-width: 52px"></picture></a> <div class="qa_answerer_info"> <div class="qa_user_name"> <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" target="_blank">Camber Hill</a> </div> <div class="qa_user_title">Life Coach</div> <div class="qa_user_label">Expert Answer</div> </div> </div> <div class="qa_answer answer "> Remember a time you faced a serious obstacle or painful setback. Let's say your friends cut you off out of nowhere. How did you respond? Did you shout at them, or try to pick a fight online? Did you grovel? The way you handle stuff like that will give you phenomenal insight into who you are. </div> <div class="qa_answer_footer"> <div class="wh_vote_container qa_vote_buttons"> <span class="wh_thumb_response wh_thumb_msg"> <span class="wh_thumb_helpful"><b>Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.</b><br></span> <span class="wh_thumb_unhelpful"><b>Thank you for your feedback.</b><br></span> <span class="wh_thumb_contribute"> If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. 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data-fullwidthadsense="1" data-fluidsize="1" data-largechannels="9818776313,2060152247,5763098696" data-mediumchannels="3005955957,4066873649" data-smallchannels="2811805837,8156154280" data-aditudetarget="pb-slot-engl-qanda" data-pagetype="methods" data-observerloading="1" data-sizes-array='[[300, 250],"fluid"]' data-gptdisplaylate="1" data-pbadunits='{"appnexus":29111280,"pubmatic":"4926795","ix":"944752","amx":"d2lraWhvdy5jb20","rubicon":"2756132","shemedia":"2952570","openx":"558892623","triplelift":"Wikihow_engl_gam_sma_qanda_300x250_Prebid","yieldmo":"3204666394012492637","grid":383052,"medianet":"445774819","rise":"engl_gam_sma_qanda","sharethrough":"thCJKQsdDouXuN8G39B9IjtJ"}'><div id="mobileqa_ad_1"></div></div> <div class="al_method">Advertisement</div> <script>WH.ads.addBodyAd('mobileqa_ad_1')</script> </div> </div> <div class="section video sticky"> <div class="headline_container "><div class="headline_info"><h2 class="section-heading" onclick="javascript:mfTempOpenSection(2)"> <div class="mw-ui-icon mw-ui-icon-element indicator"></div> <span class="mw-headline" id="Video">Video</span> </h2></div></div> <div id="video" class="section_text"> <center> <div id="" class="embedvideocontainer" style="max-width: 100%; width: 100%; height: 100%; background-image: url(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/4lTbWQ8zD3w/hqdefault.jpg); background-size: cover; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-position: center;"> <iframe class="embedvideo lazy content-fill" id="youtube_embed_iframe_4lTbWQ8zD3w" data-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4lTbWQ8zD3w?enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe><script>WH.shared.addScrollLoadItem("youtube_embed_iframe_4lTbWQ8zD3w")</script> </div> </center> <div class="clearall"></div> <div class="scrolltomarker"></div> </div> </div> <div class="mf-section-2 collapsible-block" id="mf-section-2"> </div> <div class="section tips sticky"> <div class="headline_container block_header"> <div class="altblock"></div> <div class="headline_info"><h2 class="section-heading" onclick="javascript:mfTempOpenSection(3)"> <div class="mw-ui-icon mw-ui-icon-element indicator"></div> <span class="mw-headline" id="Tips">Tips</span> </h2></div> </div> <div id="tips" class="section_text"> <ul class="tips_section_text_ul"> <li class="tips_ul_li"> <div class="tips_li_div">Never ever forget that no one but you can define you. You will always be the only one who can decide who you really are.<div class="clearall tips_li_div"></div> </div> <div class="wh_vote_container tips_li_div"> <span class="wh_thumb_response wh_thumb_msg">Thanks</span> <div class="tips_li_div"> <a href="#" data-hash="808c99c9f787ecb6a4016d2df09dcc2b" data-vote="up" data-type="1" class="trvote_up_808c99c9f787ecb6a4016d2df09dcc2b_1 vote_up wh_vote_box"> Helpful <span class="tr_vote">12</span> </a> <a href="#" data-hash="808c99c9f787ecb6a4016d2df09dcc2b" data-vote="down" data-type="1" class="trvote_down_808c99c9f787ecb6a4016d2df09dcc2b_1 vote_down wh_vote_box"> Not Helpful <span class="tr_vote">1</span> </a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="tips_ul_li"> <div class="tips_li_div">Be honest with yourself, but don't be overly critical. This means don't say to yourself: "I'm ugly," or "I'm stupid."<div class="clearall tips_li_div"></div> </div> <div class="wh_vote_container tips_li_div"> <span class="wh_thumb_response wh_thumb_msg">Thanks</span> <div class="tips_li_div"> <a href="#" data-hash="794c762a9d29b74d64e9b59b7059d96e" data-vote="up" data-type="1" class="trvote_up_794c762a9d29b74d64e9b59b7059d96e_1 vote_up wh_vote_box"> Helpful <span class="tr_vote">3</span> </a> <a href="#" data-hash="794c762a9d29b74d64e9b59b7059d96e" data-vote="down" data-type="1" class="trvote_down_794c762a9d29b74d64e9b59b7059d96e_1 vote_down wh_vote_box"> Not Helpful <span class="tr_vote">3</span> </a> </div> </div> </li> </ul> <div class="clearall"></div> <div class="reader_tips"> <h4>Tips from our Readers <img src="/extensions/wikihow/tipsandwarnings/images/question.svg"> </h4> <div id="reader_tips_hover" style="visibility: hidden">The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.</div> <ul class="active_reader_tips"> <li data-id="1422460" class="active"><span class="reader_tip">You should just love yourself and don't change your core values if someone tries to change you. If they don't accept who you are, just remember that they are different than you and they have different core values, and that's why they try to fix you and change you, because they don't know how to process a different combination on rules and values. </span></li> <li data-id="1020758" class="active"><span class="reader_tip">Remember that we tend to be overly critical of ourselves and our accomplishments. Try to see yourself for who you are without comparing yourself to others! </span></li> <li data-id="1339425" class="active"><span class="reader_tip">Don't get upset by outside things. That's not who defines you. </span></li> </ul> </div> <div class="qa_divider"></div> <div class="addTipElement"> <div class="addTipHeader"> Submit a Tip <div>All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published</div> </div> <div class="addSubmitterHeader"> Name <div class="addTipHeaderInner">Please provide your name and last initial</div> </div> <div class="addTipForm"> <input type="text" class="newtip" placeholder="Your tip here"> <input type="text" id="newtip_submitter_input" class="submittername hidden" placeholder="First name and last initial (optional)"> <a href="#" class="addtip op-action button primary" role="button" aria-label="Add a tip to this article">Submit</a> <div class="tip_waiting"></div> </div> <div class="addTipThanks"> Thanks for submitting a tip for review! </div> </div> </div> <div id="promopair_container" class="wh_ad_spacing"> <script>if (WH.shared.isLargeSize) {WH.eventView('article_promo_house_promopair_click_go_sc', {course_name:'song_quiz', dest_url:'https://www.wikihow.com/What-Song-Are-You?utm_source=wikihow&utm_medium=promopair&utm_campaign=song_quiz'}, '#promopair-img-wrap', 'click');}</script><a href="https://www.wikihow.com/What-Song-Are-You?utm_source=wikihow&utm_medium=promopair&utm_campaign=song_quiz" id="promopair-img-wrap"><img width="420" height="250" data-width="420" data-height="250" id="67b8f3b2580a1" class="scrolldefer content-fill" data-src="/images/7/7b/Song_promopair.jpg"><script>WH.shared.addScrollLoadItem('67b8f3b2580a1')</script><noscript><img src="/images/7/7b/Song_promopair.jpg" width="420" height="250" data-width="420" data-height="250" id="67b8f3b2580a1" class="scrolldefer content-fill"></noscript></a><script>WH.ads.promoLoadEvent( '67b8f3b2580a1', 'promopair', 'song_promopair.jpg');</script><div class="wh_ad_inner w_label al_grey promopair" data-service="dfp" data-adunitpath="/10095428/engl/engl_gam_lgm_promo" data-size="[300, 250]" data-width="300" data-height="250" data-prebidload="1" data-large="1" data-medium="1" data-channels="4657739586" data-aditudetarget="pb-slot-engl-promo" data-largechannels="2060152247,5763098696" data-smallchannels="8156154280" data-mediumchannels="4066873649" data-pagetype="methods" data-observerloading="1" data-sizes-array="[300, 250]" data-gptdisplaylate="1" data-pbadunits='{"appnexus":21222616,"pubmatic":"3484049","ix":"632550","amx":"d2lraWhvdy5jb20","rubicon":"1986294","shemedia":"2952570","openx":"543971537","triplelift":"Wikihow_engl_gam_lgm_promo_300x250_Prebid","yahooAds":"engl_gam_lgm_promo","yieldmo":"2687163485543932751","grid":168930,"medianet":"576257283","rise":"engl_gam_lgm_promo","sharethrough":"2dgIVEkekDipUsLpIoCw26EN"}'><div id="promopair_ad_1"></div></div> <script>WH.ads.addBodyAd('promopair_ad_1')</script> </div> <div class="wh_ad_inner dfpsmall dfpsmallextra fluid" data-service="adsense" data-smallslot="8787347780" data-smallheight="250" data-type="tips" data-small="1" data-channels="4657739586" data-smallservice="dfp" data-adunitpath="/10095428/engl/engl_gam_sma_tipps" data-size='[[300, 250],"fluid"]' data-apsload="1" data-aps-timeout="800" data-prebidload="1" data-containerless="1" data-fullwidthadsense="1" data-fluidsize="1" data-mediumchannels="3005955957,4066873649" data-smallchannels="2811805837,8156154280" data-aditudetarget="pb-slot-engltipps" data-largechannels="2060152247,5763098696" data-pagetype="methods" data-observerloading="1" data-sizes-array='[[300, 250],"fluid"]' data-gptdisplaylate="1" data-pbadunits='{"appnexus":29111281,"pubmatic":"4926796","ix":"944753","amx":"d2lraWhvdy5jb20","rubicon":"2756134","shemedia":"2952570","openx":"558892624","triplelift":"Wikihow_engl_gam_sma_tipps_300x250_Prebid","yieldmo":"3204666393861497692","grid":383056,"medianet":"237832304","rise":"engl_gam_sma_tipps","sharethrough":"7lGszgKi3Zvd8S1bEmlAt88m"}'><div id="tips_ad_1"></div></div> <div class="al_method">Advertisement</div> <script>WH.ads.addBodyAd('tips_ad_1')</script> </div> <div class="mf-section-3 collapsible-block" id="mf-section-3"> </div> <div class="section warnings sticky"> <div class="headline_container block_header"> <div class="altblock"></div> <div class="headline_info"><h2 class="section-heading" onclick="javascript:mfTempOpenSection(4)"> <div class="mw-ui-icon mw-ui-icon-element indicator"></div> <span class="mw-headline" id="Warnings">Warnings</span> </h2></div> </div> <div id="warnings" class="section_text"> <ul> <li class="warnings_ul_li"><div class="warnings_li_div">Don't try to compare yourself to others, you can't, it would not be fair, to them or to you, because you have different backgrounds, different insecurities, different expectations of life, and of yourself. Comparing two people is like taking off all those things, and placing them as products, to see which one is better.<div class="clearall warnings_li_div"></div> </div> <div class="wh_vote_container warnings_li_div"> <span class="wh_thumb_response wh_thumb_msg">Thanks</span> <div class="warnings_li_div"> <a href="#" data-hash="51b2d43d93edbaf0c35ecd8fe79db819" data-vote="up" data-type="2" class="trvote_up_51b2d43d93edbaf0c35ecd8fe79db819_2 vote_up wh_vote_box"> Helpful <span class="tr_vote">113</span> </a> <a href="#" data-hash="51b2d43d93edbaf0c35ecd8fe79db819" data-vote="down" data-type="2" class="trvote_down_51b2d43d93edbaf0c35ecd8fe79db819_2 vote_down wh_vote_box"> Not Helpful <span class="tr_vote">18</span> </a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="warnings_ul_li"><div class="warnings_li_div">Don't put yourself in a category by thinking you should stick in it.<div class="clearall warnings_li_div"></div> </div> <div class="wh_vote_container warnings_li_div"> <span class="wh_thumb_response wh_thumb_msg">Thanks</span> <div class="warnings_li_div"> <a href="#" data-hash="80e26e96bfc3cf2aac7d17d7c9e4fc46" data-vote="up" data-type="2" class="trvote_up_80e26e96bfc3cf2aac7d17d7c9e4fc46_2 vote_up wh_vote_box"> Helpful <span class="tr_vote">84</span> </a> <a href="#" data-hash="80e26e96bfc3cf2aac7d17d7c9e4fc46" data-vote="down" data-type="2" class="trvote_down_80e26e96bfc3cf2aac7d17d7c9e4fc46_2 vote_down wh_vote_box"> Not Helpful <span class="tr_vote">18</span> </a> </div> </div> </li> </ul> <div class="clearall"></div> <div class="scrolltomarker"></div> </div> <div class="wh_ad_inner dfpsmall dfpsmallextra fluid" data-service="adsense" data-smallslot="3674621907" data-smallheight="250" data-type="warnings" data-small="1" data-channels="4657739586" data-smallservice="dfp" data-adunitpath="/10095428/engl/engl_gam_sma_warns" data-size='[[300, 250],"fluid"]' data-apsload="1" data-aps-timeout="800" data-prebidload="1" data-containerless="1" data-fullwidthadsense="1" 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Life Coach. Expert Interview. 16 June 2020.</span> </li> <li id="_note-2"> <a href="#_ref-2" target="_blank">↑</a> <span class="reference-text"><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" class="external free" href="https://www.psychalive.org/finding-yourself/">https://www.psychalive.org/finding-yourself/</a></span> </li> <li id="_note-3"> <a href="#_ref-3" target="_blank">↑</a> <span class="reference-text">Camber Hill. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 16 June 2020.</span> </li> <li id="_note-4"> <a href="#_ref-4" target="_blank">↑</a> <span class="reference-text"><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" class="external free" href="https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image">https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image</a></span> </li> <li id="_note-5"> <a href="#_ref-5" target="_blank">↑</a> <span class="reference-text"><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" class="external free" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201811/6-ways-discover-and-choose-your-core-values">https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201811/6-ways-discover-and-choose-your-core-values</a></span> </li> <li id="_note-6"> <a href="#_ref-6" target="_blank">↑</a> <span class="reference-text"><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noreferrer noopener" class="external free" href="https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image">https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/12942-fostering-a-positive-self-image</a></span> </li> </ol></div> </div> <div class="section aboutthisarticle sticky" id="aboutthisarticle"> <div class="headline_container"> <div class="headline_info"> <h2 id="sp_h2"><span class="mw-headline">About This Article</span></h2> </div> </div> <div id="social_proof_mobile"> <a name="social_proof_anchor" id="social_proof_anchor"></a> <div class="sp_inner"> <div class="sp_top_box sp_person sp_expert"> <div class="coauthor_avatar_badge "></div> <div class="ar_avatar" style="max-width: 50px"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-100-100-91px-Camber_Hill2.png.webp"></source><img src="/images/thumb/a/a4/Camber_Hill2.png/-crop-100-100-91px-Camber_Hill2.png" alt="Camber Hill" loading="lazy" width="50" height="50" style="max-width: 50px"></picture></div> <div class="sp_expert_text "> <div> <div class="sp_coauthor_label"> Co-authored by: </div> <div class="sp_expert_name"><a href="/Author/Camber-Hill" class="sp_namelink">Camber Hill</a></div> <div class="sp_expert_blurb">Life Coach</div> </div> </div> </div> <div id="sp_expert_desc"> This article was co-authored by <a href="/Author/Camber-Hill">Camber Hill</a>. Camber Hill is a numerologist, author, speaker, and the owner of Camber Hill Coaching based in Long Beach, California. For over 37 years, Camber has coached entrepreneurs, creatives, business executives, and professional sports figures. He has also inspired creatives in the entertainment industry such as professional directors, writers, actors, and top radio personalities. Camber’s unique use of numerology allows him to understand the under-current which drives his clients to create long-term solutions and measurable results. His work has been featured in the History Channel's "The Human Calculator," The Los Angeles Times, Palm Springs Life Magazine, and California radio programs. He is also a member of The International Coaching Federations and is a board member of the ICF Orange County's Board of Directors. Additionally, Camber is distinguished as a certified business owner by the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. This article has been viewed 504,419 times. </div> <div class="sp_box sp_box_hoverable sp_helpful_hoverable sp_helpful_box " data-helpful="81"> <div class="sp_star_section_upper"> <div class="sp_star_section_hoverable"> <div class="sp_star_container star1"> <div class="sp_helpful_icon_star pretty_star" style="width:100%"></div> </div> <div class="sp_star_container star2"> <div class="sp_helpful_icon_star pretty_star" style="width:100%"></div> </div> <div class="sp_star_container star3"> <div class="sp_helpful_icon_star pretty_star" style="width:100%"></div> </div> <div class="sp_star_container star4"> <div class="sp_helpful_icon_star pretty_star" style="width:100%"></div> </div> <div class="sp_star_container star5"> <div class="sp_helpful_icon_star pretty_star" style="width:15%"></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="sp_helpful_lower"> <div class="sp_star_rating_text"></div> <div class="sp_helpful_rating_count">64 votes - 81%</div> <div class="helpfulness_text"></div> </div> </div> <div class="sp_box sp_stats_box "> <div class="sp_text"> Co-authors: <span class="sp_text_data">21</span> </div> <div class="sp_text"> <span id="sp_modified">Updated: <span class="sp_text_data">July 31, 2024</span></span> </div> <div class="sp_text"> Views: <span class="sp_text_data">504,419</span> </div> </div> <div class="sp_box sp_fullbox"> Categories: <span dir="ltr"><a href="/Category:Self-Discovery" title="Category:Self Discovery">Self Discovery</a></span> </div> <div class="clearall"></div> </div> </div> <div id="summary_wrapper" class="section_text"> <a href="#summary_wrapper" class="collapse_link"><span id="summary_toc_heading_text">Article Summary</span><span id="summary_close">X</span></a><p class="text_summary_wrapper" id="summary_text">To define yourself, make a list of values that are really important to you, like integrity or kindness, and then look at them as the foundation of who you are as a person. Also, try to get to know yourself better by paying attention to the things that make you happy, sad, anxious, or upset. It's also helpful to acknowledge the parts of yourself that you don't like so you can let go of those negative ideas you have about yourself. 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Often when they define themselves they focus on the negative or how they compare to other people. Nobody but you can define who you are but this article has some tips on how to look at..." }</script><script type="application/ld+json">{ "@context": "http:\/\/schema.org", "@type": "HowTo", "headline": "How to Define Yourself: 6 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow", "name": "How to Define Yourself: 6 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2c\/Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg\/aid1710458-v4-1200px-Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg", "width": 1200, "height": 900 }, "author": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Camber Hill", "sameAs": [ "https:\/\/www.camberhill.com\/" ] }, "datePublished": "2011-11-13", "dateModified": "2024-07-31", "publisher": { "@context": "http:\/\/schema.org", "@type": "Organization", "name": "wikiHow", "url": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/skins\/owl\/images\/wikihow_logo_nobg_60.png", "width": 326, "height": 60 }, "sameAs": [ "https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/wikiHow\/", "https:\/\/twitter.com\/wikiHow", "https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/wikihow\/", "https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/wikihow\/", "https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/WikiHow" ] }, "step": [ { "@type": "HowToSection", "name": "Discovering Your Identity", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "HowToStep", "text": "Know yourself. Self-knowledge, particularly non-judgmental self-knowledge, is an incredibly important skill to help you define yourself. You'll need to understand what makes you tick and what your thought processes are before you can define who you are as a person.\n\nMindfulness means paying attention to what you are thinking and observing your patterns of thought. For instance, you might realize that you have a tendency to feel that people don't care what you think and that your opinions are unimportant. Recognizing that you have these thoughts and catching them before they start causing you anxiety, can help you piece together the important parts of your identity.\nWhen you start paying attention to your thought processes and patterns you'll need to practice attentive non-judgment. This means being aware of your thought patterns and acknowledging them, but not beating yourself up over them. Everyone has negative thought patterns and processes. By paying attention to them, you can eliminate them from your mind.", "image": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/0b\/Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-1.jpg", "url": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Define-Yourself#step-id-00" }, { "@type": "HowToStep", "text": "Notice how you identify yourself. Once you start paying attention to the way you think about yourself and about the world, look specifically for the ways in which you identify yourself. See what groups and communities you use to create your identity. All of these inform how you see yourself and tell you what you are letting define you.\n\nFor example, look at things like religion, nationality, sexual identity and see if those are ways you define yourself.\nLook at the roles you take on, such as your job, your position in your family (mother, father, sister, brother), your romantic status (single, couple, etc.).", "image": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-2-Version-2.jpg", "url": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Define-Yourself#step-id-01" }, { "@type": "HowToStep", "text": "Jot down thought processes and self-definitions. To become adept at seeing your thought processes and definitions and how those determine how you act and who you are, write them down in a notebook as you identify them. You'll be able to see how you consider yourself and it will make it easier to eliminate the negative associations.\nTalking to and working with a clinical psychologist can greatly help in uncovering patterns of thinking and being. They can also help you deal with the more negative aspects of your thinking.", "image": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/05\/Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-3-Version-2.jpg", "url": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Define-Yourself#step-id-02" } ] }, { "@type": "HowToSection", "name": "Creating Your Self-Definition", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "HowToStep", "text": "Record your negative definitions. Recording them and paying attention to them will help you let go of them. Getting them out in the open can help to take away some of their hold on your mind and self.\nDon't limit yourself in negative ways. Definition of the self determines the action. So, for instance, if you're defining yourself as someone who has bad romantic relationships, you've already lost the potential for a good romantic relationship. It is a story that you tell yourself, and then because you believe the story, you will already be behaving in ways that make the story true.", "image": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/6c\/Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-4-Version-2.jpg", "url": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Define-Yourself#step-id-13" }, { "@type": "HowToStep", "text": "Identify your core values. You don't want to define yourself based on outside forces, because outside forces are volatile and subject to constant change. By basing your self-definition on core values, you will have a better chance of having a stable self-definition.\n\nYou won't lose your self-identity if you base it on values you hold at your core, like compassion, courage, integrity.\nWrite down a list of these values and consciously and mindfully act them out in your daily life. Therefore, if courage is one of your core values, stand up for someone being harassed at the bus stop, or if honesty is a core value, fess up to having lost your father's favorite watch. If compassion is on that list, spend time volunteering at a homeless shelter.", "image": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/ee\/Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-5.jpg", "url": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Define-Yourself#step-id-14" }, { "@type": "HowToStep", "text": "Define yourself in positive ways. This doesn't mean that you don't acknowledge the negative events and actions that have happened in your life. They are as much a part of you as the positive, but they do not define you.\n\nThis means don't let outside circumstances rule your identity. That comes from within in, from the core values that you have already identified as being important to your identity.\nUnderstand that the negative experiences in your life have offered knowledge. For example, if you have had negative experiences with romance, learn from those experiences. What have they taught you about the kind of person you want to be?", "image": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2c\/Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Define-Yourself-Step-6-Version-2.jpg", "url": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Define-Yourself#step-id-15" } ] } ], "description": "Everyone struggles to figure out who people truly are. Often when they define themselves they focus on the negative or how they compare to other people. Nobody but you can define who you are but this article has some tips on how to look at..." }</script><script type="application/ld+json">{ "@context": "http:\/\/schema.org", "@type": "FAQPage", "headline": "How to Define Yourself: 6 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow", "name": "How to Define Yourself: 6 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow", "mainEntity": [ { "@type": "Question", "name": "What's the most important part of defining yourself?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "I'd say self-respect and core values are strong contenders. You need to know what you care about and believe in if you're going to define yourself. On top of that, you have to have the self-awareness and self-love to determine what you're willing to put up with and fight for." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "Why do I have such a hard time defining who I am?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Ask yourself, \"What makes me happy?\" and, \"What makes me unhappy?\" The answer to those questions are going to open up a lot of doors as far as defining yourself goes." } }, { "@type": "Question", "name": "How can I figure out what kind of person I am?", "acceptedAnswer": { "@type": "Answer", "text": "Remember a time you faced a serious obstacle or painful setback. Let's say your friends cut you off out of nowhere. How did you respond? Did you shout at them, or try to pick a fight online? Did you grovel? The way you handle stuff like that will give you phenomenal insight into who you are." } } ] }</script><script type="application/ld+json">{ "@context": "http:\/\/schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@id": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com", "name": "wikiHow" } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@id": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Category:Education-and-Communications", "name": "Education and Communications" } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@id": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Category:Personal-Development", "name": "Personal Development" } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@id": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Category:Self-Discovery", "name": "Self Discovery" } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@id": "https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Define-Yourself", "name": "How to Define Yourself: 6 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow" } } ] }</script> <div id="fb-root" ></div> 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