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I spent 24 hours following Mark Wahlberg's insane fitness regime and I've never been more miserable

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Rising at 2.30am, Wahlberg spends his day lifting weights, showering, eating (there is a lot of eating), and apparently avoiding his family and fellow humans. Then he goes to bed at 7:30pm.</p> <p>His regime looks insane and horrible and lonely – and invites the question: what happens when a normal, lazy human being tries to emulate Big Mad Mark? Behold...</p> </div> </div> <div class="article-body-image component " itemscope itemtype="https://schema.org/ImageObject" data-frz-ancestor> <div class="component-content"> <figure> <span class="article-body-image-image-container"> <div class="lazy-image article-body-image-image" style="padding-top:114.43%;" data-js="LazyImage" data-src="/web/20180922222704oe_/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/health-fitness/2018/09/17/routine_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8.PNG?imwidth=480" data-srcset="/content/dam/health-fitness/2018/09/17/routine_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8.PNG?imwidth=480 480w,/content/dam/health-fitness/2018/09/17/routine_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8.PNG?imwidth=960 960w,/content/dam/health-fitness/2018/09/17/routine_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8.PNG?imwidth=580 580w,/content/dam/health-fitness/2018/09/17/routine_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8.PNG?imwidth=1160 1160w,/content/dam/health-fitness/2018/09/17/routine_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8.PNG?imwidth=620 620w,/content/dam/health-fitness/2018/09/17/routine_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8.PNG?imwidth=1240 1240w" data-sizes="100vw,(min-width: 480px) 480px,(min-width: 730px) 580px,(min-width: 1008px) 620px" data-alt="The routine"> <noscript> <img class="responsive article-body-image-image" src="/web/20180922222704im_/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/health-fitness/2018/09/17/routine_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8.PNG?imwidth=480" alt="The routine"> </noscript> </div> </span> <figcaption> <span itemprop="caption" class="article-body-image-caption">The routine Wahlberg posted on his Instagram story</span> <span itemprop="copyrightHolder" class="article-body-image-copyright"> <span class="article-body-image-copyright-label">Credit:</span> Mark Wahlberg </span> </figcaption> </figure> </div> </div> <div class="articleBodyText section "> <div class="article-body-text component "> <div class="component-content"> <h3>2.30am: Wake up</h3> <p>“You can’t even get up at 8.30am,” said Romilly, my housemate, on learning that I was going to have to get up a full six hours earlier than that. Correct. 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style="padding-bottom:62.19%;" data-asset-type="article"> <noscript> <img src="/web/20180922222704im_/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/health-fitness/2018/09/21/TELEMMGLPICT000132017016-small_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqpVlberWd9EgFPZtcLiMQfyf2A9a6I9YchsjMeADBa08.jpeg" alt="Victoria Moore, wine writer" width="320" height="199" class="responsive-image--fallback"/> </noscript> </div> </a> <div class="list-of-entities__item-body"> <span class="m_meta-property"> <time class="m_meta-property__date" title="22 Sep 2018, 5:37pm" datetime="2018-09-22T05:37:23" itemprop="datePublished" pubdate> <span class="m_meta-property__date-date">22 Sep 2018</span><span class="m_meta-property__date-separator">,</span> <span class="m_meta-property__date-time">5:37pm</span> </time> </span> <h3 class="list-of-entities__item-body-headline"> <a href="/web/20180922222704/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/nutrition/diet/ruthlessly-edited-drinking-schedule-without-missing/"><span class="sr-only">Comment: </span>How I ruthlessly edited my drinking schedule – without missing out</a> </h3> <div class="list-of-entities__item-author-name"> Victoria Moore </div> <span class="premium-label">Premium</span> </div> <div class="list-of-entities__item-author-image"> <div class="list-of-entities__item-author-image-container"> <img class="responsive-image " width="320" height="320" alt="Victoria Moore" data-frz-ratio="1.00" src="/web/20180922222704im_/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/Author%20photos/Victoria_Moore-small.png" 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href="/web/20180922222704/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/nutrition/breakfasts-champions-sporting-heroes-eat-start-day/">Breakfasts of champions: what our sporting heroes eat to start the day</a> </h3> <span class="premium-label">Premium</span> </div> </div> </li> <li class="list-of-entities__item comment premium" data-timestamp="1537248826693"> <div class="list-of-entities__item-link"> <a href="/web/20180922222704/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/09/18/whisky-nib-night-not-aspirin-day-secret-long-joyful-life/" class="list-of-entities__item-image-container" tabindex="-1"> <div class="responsive-image list-of-entities__item-image " data-width="320" data-height="199" data-alt="Comment: Man With Glass Of Whisky Relaxing By Fire" data-frz-ratio="1.60" data-src="/web/20180922222704oe_/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/food-and-drink/2015/11/20/whisky2-small_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8.jpg" data-frz-src-array="[{'src':'/content/dam/food-and-drink/2015/11/20/whisky2-xsmall_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8.jpg','width':160,'height':99,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8','percentageImageRatio':'61.88'},{'src':'/content/dam/food-and-drink/2015/11/20/whisky2-small_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8.jpg','width':320,'height':199,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8','percentageImageRatio':'62.19'},{'src':'/content/dam/food-and-drink/2015/11/20/whisky2-medium_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8.jpg','width':480,'height':299,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8','percentageImageRatio':'62.29'},{'src':'/content/dam/food-and-drink/2015/11/20/whisky2-large_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8.jpg','width':720,'height':449,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8','percentageImageRatio':'62.36'},{'src':'/content/dam/food-and-drink/2015/11/20/whisky2-xlarge_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8.jpg','width':1280,'height':799,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8','percentageImageRatio':'62.42'},{'src':'/content/dam/food-and-drink/2015/11/20/whisky2-xxlarge_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8.jpg','width':1500,'height':937,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8','percentageImageRatio':'62.47'}]" style="padding-bottom:62.19%;" data-asset-type="article"> <noscript> <img src="/web/20180922222704im_/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/food-and-drink/2015/11/20/whisky2-small_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqrXQPXGvM58CJoUBPwmOnP5PHkRvugymKLtqq96r_VP8.jpg" alt="Man With Glass Of Whisky Relaxing By Fire" width="320" height="199" class="responsive-image--fallback"/> </noscript> </div> </a> <div class="list-of-entities__item-body"> <span class="m_meta-property"> <time class="m_meta-property__date" title="18 Sep 2018, 6:33am" datetime="2018-09-18T06:33:46" itemprop="datePublished" pubdate> <span class="m_meta-property__date-date">18 Sep 2018</span><span class="m_meta-property__date-separator">,</span> <span class="m_meta-property__date-time">6:33am</span> </time> </span> <h3 class="list-of-entities__item-body-headline"> <a href="/web/20180922222704/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/09/18/whisky-nib-night-not-aspirin-day-secret-long-joyful-life/"><span class="sr-only">Comment: </span>Is a nip of whisky a night, not an aspirin a day, the secret to a long and joyful life?</a> </h3> <div class="list-of-entities__item-author-name"> Melanie McDonagh </div> <span class="premium-label">Premium</span> </div> <div class="list-of-entities__item-author-image"> <div class="list-of-entities__item-author-image-container"> </div> </div> </div> </li> <li class="list-of-entities__item " data-timestamp="1537244196785"> <div class="list-of-entities__item-link"> <a href="/web/20180922222704/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2018/09/18/bill-gates-super-successful-need-held-high-standard/" class="list-of-entities__item-image-container" tabindex="-1"> <div class="responsive-image list-of-entities__item-image " data-width="320" data-height="199" data-alt="Bill Gates" data-frz-ratio="1.60" data-src="/web/20180922222704oe_/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/technology/2018/09/17/TELEMMGLPICT000001706054-small_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8.jpeg" data-frz-src-array="[{'src':'/content/dam/technology/2018/09/17/TELEMMGLPICT000001706054-xsmall_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8.jpeg','width':160,'height':99,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8','percentageImageRatio':'61.88'},{'src':'/content/dam/technology/2018/09/17/TELEMMGLPICT000001706054-xlarge_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8.jpeg','width':1281,'height':800,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8','percentageImageRatio':'62.45'},{'src':'/content/dam/technology/2018/09/17/TELEMMGLPICT000001706054-medium_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8.jpeg','width':480,'height':299,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8','percentageImageRatio':'62.29'},{'src':'/content/dam/technology/2018/09/17/TELEMMGLPICT000001706054-thumbnail_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8.jpeg','width':140,'height':87,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8','percentageImageRatio':'62.14'},{'src':'/content/dam/technology/2018/09/17/TELEMMGLPICT000001706054-xxlarge_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8.jpeg','width':1501,'height':937,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8','percentageImageRatio':'62.43'},{'src':'/content/dam/technology/2018/09/17/TELEMMGLPICT000001706054-small_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8.jpeg','width':320,'height':199,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8','percentageImageRatio':'62.19'},{'src':'/content/dam/technology/2018/09/17/TELEMMGLPICT000001706054-large_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8.jpeg','width':720,'height':449,'imageCropTransformSuffix':'trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8','percentageImageRatio':'62.36'}]" style="padding-bottom:62.19%;" data-asset-type="article"> <noscript> <img src="/web/20180922222704im_/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/technology/2018/09/17/TELEMMGLPICT000001706054-small_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bq15XUfPwoY7svuJOpueeorfJjmZDhJToe6J8R2KPYAN8.jpeg" alt="Bill Gates" width="320" height="199" class="responsive-image--fallback"/> </noscript> </div> </a> <div class="list-of-entities__item-body"> <span class="m_meta-property"> <time class="m_meta-property__date" title="18 Sep 2018, 5:16am" datetime="2018-09-18T05:16:36" itemprop="datePublished" pubdate> <span class="m_meta-property__date-date">18 Sep 2018</span><span class="m_meta-property__date-separator">,</span> <span class="m_meta-property__date-time">5:16am</span> </time> </span> <h3 class="list-of-entities__item-body-headline"> <a href="/web/20180922222704/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2018/09/18/bill-gates-super-successful-need-held-high-standard/">Bill Gates: ‘My biggest fears about what&#39;s coming next for this world’</a> </h3> </div> </div> </li> <li class="list-of-entities__item comment" data-timestamp="1537202465752"> <div class="list-of-entities__item-link"> <a href="/web/20180922222704/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/body/need-drive-survival-rates-aggressive-cancers/" class="list-of-entities__item-image-container" tabindex="-1"> <div class="responsive-image list-of-entities__item-image " data-width="320" data-height="199" data-alt="Comment: A model receives chemotherapy" data-frz-ratio="1.60" data-src="/web/20180922222704oe_/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/health-fitness/2018/09/17/TELEMMGLPICT000165687439-small_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqpVlberWd9EgFPZtcLiMQfyf2A9a6I9YchsjMeADBa08.jpeg" 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