Τι είναι side;

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</div> </div> </header> <div id="content" class="container site-content small-mt-2 x-large-mt-4 small-mb-2 x-large-mb-4"> <div id="primary" class="content-area"> <main id="main" class="site-main"> <div class="row u-items--center single-content aligncenter single-no-sidebar active is-visible"> <div class="column single-post-column"> <article class="post category-yellow"> <header class="entry-header"> <div class="small-mb-2 medium-mb-3 post-content__side-padding text-center"> <div class="entry-category by-category--color small-mb-1"> <a href="/home/relationships/2034/subcategory" rel="category tag">ΣΕΞ & ΣΧΕΣΕΙΣ</a> </div> <h1 class="entry-title small-mt-1 small-mb-1">Τι είναι side;</h1> <div class="entry-summary single-summary"> <p>Έχει περάσει πάνω από ένας χρόνος, άρα πλέον δεν είναι αστείο που κράτησε πολύ. Ή μήπως είναι; Ή μήπως χρειάζεται μία οκτάωρη συζήτηση και δεκαπέντε βιβλία για να το λύσουμε;</p> <p> </p> </div> <div class="entry-meta u-items--center small-mt-1 medium-mt-2"> <span class="byline small-mt-1 small-mb-1"><a class="author-avatar" href="/author/32/thodorhs-diakos"><noscript><img data-del="avatar" alt="Θοδωρής Διάκος" src="https://www.in2life.gr/media/authors/photos/32-diakos.png" class="avatar pp-user-avatar avatar-40 photo" height="40" width="40" /></noscript><img data-del="avatar" alt="Θοδωρής Διάκος" src="https://www.in2life.gr/media/authors/photos/32-diakos.png" data-src="https://www.in2life.gr/media/authors/photos/32-diakos.png" class="avatar pp-user-avatar avatar-40 photo lazyloaded" height="40" width="40"></a><i>γράφει:</i><span class="author vcard"><a class="fn" href="/author/32/thodorhs-diakos">Θοδωρής Διάκος</a></span></span> <span class="post-date posted-on"> <time class="entry-date published" datetime="2024-11-11T00:17:00+02:00">11 Νοεμβρίου 2024</time> </span> <span class="views-count" style="display:none"> <svg class="rpr-svg-icon icon-eye" width="17" height="17" aria-hidden="true" role="img" focusable="false" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 96 96"> <path d="M48,20c21.15,0,34.502,19.998,38.998,28C82.494,56.016,69.145,76,48,76C26.853,76,13.503,56.118,9.003,48.149 C13.5,40.101,26.853,20,48,20 M48,12C16,12,0,48.166,0,48.166S16,84,48,84s48-36,48-36S80,12,48,12L48,12z M48,40c4.411,0,8,3.589,8,8s-3.589,8-8,8s-8-3.589-8-8S43.589,40,48,40 M48,32c-8.836,0-16,7.164-16,16 c0,8.837,7.164,16,16,16c8.837,0,16-7.163,16-16C64,39.164,56.837,32,48,32L48,32z"></path> </svg> <span class="posted-on">Παλαιότερο των 360 ημερών</span> </span> </div> <div class="row social-sharing"> <div class="column small-12"> <div class="u-items--middle u-items--center iconslist icons-single-color"> <div class="sharethis-inline-share-buttons"></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="small-mt-1 medium-mt-2"> <figure class="entry-image featured-image alignfull articleimg"> <noscript> <img src="https://www.in2life.gr/media/articles/photos/main/2008155-side.png" class="attachment-full size-full" alt="Τι είναι side;" /> </noscript> <img src="https://www.in2life.gr/media/articles/photos/main/2008155-side.png" data-src="https://www.in2life.gr/media/articles/photos/main/2008155-side.png" class="attachment-full size-full lazyloaded" alt="Τι είναι side;""> <figcaption class="blocks-gallery-item__caption"></figcaption> </figure> </div> </div> </header> <div class="post-content"> <div class="article-body clearfix entry-content post-content__side-padding"> <div class="maintext" id="article"> <p>Πριν από έναν χρόνο και κάτι, η δημοφιλής πλατφόρμα γκέι γνωριμιών Grindr αποφάσισε να λανσάρει μία νέα επιλογή στις (τρεις) σεξουαλικές προτιμήσεις των χρηστών του. Εκτός από ενεργητικός, παθητικός ή vers (άνθρωπος που κάνει και τα δύο), μπορούσες πλέον να δηλώσεις ότι είσαι side. Τι είναι side; Είναι όταν σου αρέσει η σεξουαλική εγγύτητα, αλλά όχι η ίδια η πράξη της διείσδυσης. Συνεπώς κάθεστε στο πλάι και ικανοποιείστε με εναλλακτικούς τρόπους. Δηλαδή το ίδιο πράγμα που άλλοι μπορεί να ονομάζουν προκαταρκτικά, αλλά ως κυρίως πιάτο.</p> <p>Το κόνσεπτ δεν λες ότι αγαπήθηκε και αμέσως. Πόσο μάλλον, πολλά άτομα αντιδρούσαν άσχημα όταν μιλούσαν με έναν πιθανό σύντροφο και ανακάλυπταν ότι, εμ, δεν θα μπορούν να κάνουν σεξ. Ακόμα χειρότερα, όταν αυτό το άτομο συνέχιζε την κουβέντα με νουθεσίες περί του πώς το διεισδυτικό σεξ είναι πατριαρχικό κατάλοιπο και ότι ως κουίρ κοινότητα, νέες εναλλακτικές οφείλουν να εξερευνηθούν.</p> <p>Και αυτά είναι πάνω-κάτω τα δύο στρατόπεδα απόψεων που υπάρχουν για το side, οι άνθρωποι που το μισούν και θεωρούν ότι είναι κάποια νέα και ιδιαίτερα ονλάιν δικαιολογία για την εσωτερικευμένη ομοφοβία, και οι άνθρωποι που πιστεύουν ότι η άρνησή του ως θεμιτό σεξουαλικό ρόλο αποτελεί δείγμα εσωτερικευμένης ομοφοβίας. Ωραία, ας πάμε όμως το ζήτημα πιο βαθιά – κι ας είναι το μόνο πράγμα που θα πάει βαθιά σήμερα. Και ας αφήσουμε τις κουβέντες για εσωτερικευμένη ομοφοβία για μετά.</p> <p><strong>Ορισμοί για πράγματα που υπήρχαν ήδη</strong><br>Μια θεωρία λέει ότι η ύπαρξη του side σαν έννοια στο γκέι σεξ υπήρχε πάντα: Ήταν όποιος άνθρωπος, για όποιον λόγο, είχε αποφασίσει ότι δεν του αρέσει η διείσδυση. Πλέον όμως αυτές οι συζητήσεις δεν γίνονται μετά από ένα ραντεβού, ή έστω στα γρήγορα όσο χάνετε την συναυλία που παίζει στο βάθος· γίνονται στο ίντερνετ, πριν βρεθείτε από κοντά. Και επειδή το Grindr είναι (λίγο-πολύ) φτιαγμένο για άμεσες συναντήσεις, οι συζητήσεις αυτές πρέπει να γίνονται ακόμα πιο κοφτές - ποιος έχει, άλλωστε, τον χρόνο; Με απλά λόγια: Πώς πριν διαλέξεις ένα Πόκεμον για να βάλεις στην ομάδα σου, θέλεις να ξέρεις τα στατιστικά του; Αυτό, αλλά ας μην βγει παραέξω ότι κάναμε αυτή την παρομοίωση, μπορεί να θυμώσει κόσμος.</p> <p>Ας το πάμε και ένα βήμα παραπέρα: Τα τελευταία χρόνια υπάρχει ούτως ή άλλως μια στροφή προς την δημιουργία ορισμών για πράγματα που δεν είχαν ορισμό παλιότερα. Μπορεί να έχει να κάνει με μάρκετινγκ - μέτρα, ας πούμε, πόσοι “ορισμοί” ξεπηδούν κάθε χρονιά σε άρθρα για σεξ, σχέσεις και ποπ ψυχολογία. Μπορεί να έχει να κάνει με μοναδικότητα, ορατότητα και συμπερίληψη, που είναι και στιβαροί πυλώνες του σύγχρονου μάρκετινγκ. Αν βάλεις λοιπόν όλα αυτά τα συστατικά σε ένα τσουκάλι και ανακατέψεις, δεν αρχίζει να ακούγεται κάπως λογικό ότι ορισμένα μέλη της γενικευμένης ομάδας “Γκέι άντρες που δεν γουστάρουν και τόσο το γκέι σεξ” θα ήθελαν να βρουν δικό τους όνομα;</p> <p>Και δεν ακούγεται και αρκετά βολικό;</p> <p><strong>Καυγάδες για πράγματα για τα οποία γίνονταν ήδη καυγάδες</strong><br>Σε οποιοδήποτε κουίρ άντρα διαβάζει αυτές τις γραμμές, όλα αυτά ακούγονται αδιανόητα βαρετά, όχι μόνο επειδή σιχάθηκε να τα συζητάει με τους φίλους του αλλά επειδή τα βλέπει να συμβαίνουν με άλλες έννοιες από πάντα. Το θέμα της διείσδυσης και του πώς και ποιος και πότε και γιατί θα το κάνει αυτό ήταν πάντα πηγή δράματος στην γκέι κοινότητα, και σχεδόν πάντα γύριζε πίσω στην εσωτερικευμένη ομοφοβία και σε κουβέντες περί δύναμης και εξουσίας. Που μετά άνοιγαν συζητήσεις για την τιμωρητική υπόσταση του σεξ στην κοινωνία μας. Ε, και όταν ο κάποιος προσπαθεί απλά να κάνει λίγο σεξ, όλη αυτή η φιλοσοφία μάλλον σκοτώνει κάπως το μουντ.</p> <p>Δεν λέμε ότι η φιλοσοφία πίσω από τους ρόλους που προκύπτουν στο κουίρ σεξ δεν είναι σοβαρή και δεν μπορεί να στηρίξει ενδιαφέρουσα έρευνα. Πόσο μάλλον, ένας ανθρωπολόγος ή ένας ιστορικός με ειδίκευση στα έμφυλα ζητήματα θα μπορούσε να τραβήξει αμέτρητες συνδετικές γραμμές μεταξύ των ρόλων στην διείσδυση και γενικότερων κοινωνικών φαινομένων. Και ίσως το side ως έννοια προσπαθεί να τα σκοτώσει όλα αυτά: Ότι είναι απλά αυτό που είναι, χωρίς περισσότερη φιλοσοφική και κοινωνική ανάλυση. Χωρίς να εξετάζουμε το παρελθόν ή το μέλλον του. <br><br>Και αν η κουβέντα μένει μέχρι εδώ, επιστρέφουμε στο “Αυτή είναι μια συζήτηση μεταξύ εραστών που λένε τι γουστάρουν”. Οπότε μήπως το πρόβλημα είναι στα ονλάιν κουτάκια που "πρέπει να" τικάρουμε; Μήπως το ονλάιν κουτάκι μεταμορφώνει την προτίμηση σε ταυτότητα;</p></div> </div> </div> <footer class="entry-footer"> <div id="fb-root"></div> <script async defer crossorigin="anonymous" src="https://connect.facebook.net/el_GR/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v13.0&appId=219691128053407&autoLogAppEvents=1" nonce="eHPsKRb8"></script> <div class="single-section fb-like u-items--middle u-items--center" data-href="https://www.in2life.gr/article/2008332/ti-einai-side" data-width="300" data-layout="standard" data-action="like" data-size="large" data-share="false"></div> <div class="single-section single-section__author-box small-mt-2"> <div class="single-post-edit u-flex u-items--center u-items--middle"> <div class="single-post-edit__separator"></div> </div> <div class="row social-sharing"> <div class="column small-12 small-pb-2 medium-pb-3"> <div class="u-items--middle u-items--center iconslist icons-multi-color"> <div class="sharethis-inline-share-buttons"></div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="row small-mt-2 medium-mt-4 small-mb-4"><div class="column author-box text-center"><a class="author-avatar" href="/author/32/thodorhs-diakos"><noscript><img data-del="avatar" alt="Θοδωρής Διάκος" src="https://www.in2life.gr/media/authors/photos/32-diakos.png" class="avatar pp-user-avatar avatar-96 photo" height="96" width="96" /></noscript><img data-del="avatar" alt="Θοδωρής Διάκος" src="https://www.in2life.gr/media/authors/photos/32-diakos.png" data-src="https://www.in2life.gr/media/authors/photos/32-diakos.png" class="avatar pp-user-avatar avatar-96 photo ls-is-cached lazyloaded" height="96" width="96"></a><span class="byline"><span class="author main-font vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="/author/32/thodorhs-diakos">Θοδωρής Διάκος</a></span></span><div class="post-content__side-padding text-center entry-summary"><p>Είμαι ο Θοδωρής, έχω σπουδάσει ανθρωπολογία, είμαι ζωγράφος και επίσης φτιάχνω τα πιο παράξενα από τα κουίζ που θα βρεις στο in2life. 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