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class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/4.Douglas_Adams"> <img alt="Douglas Adams" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1616277702i/4._UX200_CR0,15,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Douglas Adams, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_359> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/809325">The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/deadlines">deadlines</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humor">humor</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/work">work</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/writing">writing</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/1398-i-love-deadlines-i-love-the-whooshing-noise-they-make">32097 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div data-react-class="ReactComponents.NativeAd" data-react-props="{"adId":"","className":"googleNativeAd--quotesPage","isMobile":false,"isNewsfeed":false,"signedIn":false,"allowBehavioralTargeting":null,"trackingOptions":{"enableTracking":true,"adId":""}}"></div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/13275.Charles_Bukowski"> <img alt="Charles Bukowski" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1501509674i/13275._UY200_CR33,0,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Do you hate people?”<br /><br />“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Charles Bukowski, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_130734> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/125917">Barfly</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/misanthropy">misanthropy</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/paraphrased">paraphrased</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/2495-do-you-hate-people-i-don-t-hate-them-i-just-feel">13345 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/2778055.Kurt_Vonnegut_Jr_"> <img alt="Kurt Vonnegut Jr." src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1433582280i/2778055._UX200_CR0,51,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Kurt Vonnegut </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/telekinetics">telekinetics</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/17177-those-who-believe-in-telekinetics-raise-my-hand">10117 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/4.Douglas_Adams"> <img alt="Douglas Adams" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1616277702i/4._UX200_CR0,15,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Douglas Adams, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_11> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/3078186">The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/811-for-instance-on-the-planet-earth-man-had-always-assumed">10091 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/153394.Suzanne_Collins"> <img alt="Suzanne Collins" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1630199330i/153394._UX200_CR0,33,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Suzanne Collins, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_7260188> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/8812783">Mockingjay</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/boggs">boggs</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/finnick">finnick</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/funny">funny</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/hunger-games">hunger-games</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/katniss">katniss</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/mockingjay">mockingjay</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/odair">odair</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/suzanne-collins">suzanne-collins</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/witty">witty</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/290828-well-don-t-expect-us-to-be-too-impressed-we-just">9214 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/13275.Charles_Bukowski"> <img alt="Charles Bukowski" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1501509674i/13275._UY200_CR33,0,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Charles Bukowski </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/154643-sometimes-you-climb-out-of-bed-in-the-morning-and">8577 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/1630.Ray_Bradbury"> <img alt="Ray Bradbury" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1445955959i/1630._UX200_CR0,33,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Ray Bradbury, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_103761> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/2183601">Zen in the Art of Writing: Releasing the Creative Genius Within You</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/individuality">individuality</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/science-fiction">science-fiction</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/31245-i-have-never-listened-to-anyone-who-criticized-my-taste">6258 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/153394.Suzanne_Collins"> <img alt="Suzanne Collins" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1630199330i/153394._UX200_CR0,33,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Finnick?" I say, "Maybe some pants?"<br />He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this" -- he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose -- "distracting?"<br />I laugh. Boggs looks embarrassed and Finnick looks more like the guy I met at the Quarter Quell” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Suzanne Collins, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_7260188> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/8812783">Mockingjay</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/finnick">finnick</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/hunger-games">hunger-games</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/290708-finnick-i-say-maybe-some-pants-he-looks-down-at">5053 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/226482.Marjorie_Pay_Hinckley"> <img alt="Marjorie Pay Hinckley" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1250494999i/226482._UY200_CR53,0,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Marjorie Pay Hinckley </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/wisdom">wisdom</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/34685-the-only-way-to-get-through-life-is-to-laugh">3810 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/78470.Rodney_Dangerfield"> <img alt="Rodney Dangerfield" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1208829061i/78470._UX200_CR0,34,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Rodney Dangerfield </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/crime">crime</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/funny">funny</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/neighborhoods">neighborhoods</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/14371-i-came-from-a-real-tough-neighborhood-once-a-guy">3729 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/786140.Irina_Dunn"> <img alt="Irina Dunn" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1297526928i/786140._UY200_CR42,0,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Irina Dunn </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/feminism">feminism</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/misattributed-gloria-steinem">misattributed-gloria-steinem</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/35487-a-woman-without-a-man-is-like-a-fish-without">3552 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/4.Douglas_Adams"> <img alt="Douglas Adams" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1616277702i/4._UX200_CR0,15,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Douglas Adams, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_11> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/3078186">The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/11128-the-ships-hung-in-the-sky-in-much-the-same">3422 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/1032064.Robert_Orben"> <img alt="Robert Orben" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1250696742i/1032064.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Robert Orben </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/politics">politics</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/truth">truth</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/14073-illegal-aliens-have-always-been-a-problem-in-the-united">3215 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/3565.Oscar_Wilde"> <img alt="Oscar Wilde" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1673611182i/3565._UX200_CR0,15,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Oscar Wilde </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/beauty">beauty</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/216447-crying-is-for-plain-women-pretty-women-go-shopping">3164 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/12521.William_Goldman"> <img alt="William Goldman" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1198704782i/12521.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “When I was your age, television was called books.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> William Goldman, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_21787> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/992628">The Princess Bride</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/book">book</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/fantasy">fantasy</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/116283-when-i-was-your-age-television-was-called-books">2995 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/29970.Lawrence_Ferlinghetti"> <img alt="Lawrence Ferlinghetti" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1705016475i/29970._UX200_CR0,13,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Lawrence Ferlinghetti </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/beatnik">beatnik</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/cynical">cynical</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/funny">funny</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/181293-if-you-re-too-open-minded-your-brains-will-fall-out">2880 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/1406384.John_Green"> <img alt="John Green" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1353452301i/1406384._UX200_CR0,49,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Headline?" he asked.<br />"'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said.<br />"'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said.<br />"'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> John Green, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_11870085> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/16827462">The Fault in Our Stars</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/funny">funny</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humor">humor</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/internet">internet</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/john-green">john-green</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/pedophile">pedophile</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/pedophilia">pedophilia</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/tfios">tfios</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/the-fault-in-our-stars">the-fault-in-our-stars</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/490661-headline-he-asked-swing-set-needs-home-i-said-desperately">2808 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <div class="quoteText"> “I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Stephanie Lennox, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_8986660> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/13863828">I Don't Remember You</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/fighting">fighting</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/funny">funny</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/husband">husband</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/inspirational">inspirational</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/love">love</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/lover">lover</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/relationships">relationships</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/romance">romance</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/spiritual">spiritual</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/sweet">sweet</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/wife">wife</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/360880-i-ve-been-fighting-to-be-who-i-am-all-my">2689 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/88280.Johnny_Depp"> <img alt="Johnny Depp" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1317565242i/88280._UX200_CR0,33,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Johnny Depp </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/love">love</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/44563-if-someone-were-to-harm-my-family-or-a-friend">2615 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/22782.George_Carlin"> <img alt="George Carlin" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1664917557i/22782._UY200_CR0,0,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> George Carlin </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humor">humor</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/paradox">paradox</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/87125-if-you-try-to-fail-and-succeed-which-have-you">2444 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/1077326.J_K_Rowling"> <img alt="J.K. Rowling" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1596216614i/1077326._UX200_CR0,15,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Hello, Harry" said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones."<br />"You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> J.K. Rowling, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_2> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/2809203">Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/66767-hello-harry-said-george-beaming-at-him-we-thought-we">2299 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/150038.Cassandra_Clare"> <img alt="Cassandra Clare" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1689347318i/150038._UX200_CR0,33,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.'<br />'Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Cassandra Clare, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_7171637> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/6674837">Clockwork Angel</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/clockwork-angel">clockwork-angel</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/nathaniel-gray">nathaniel-gray</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/will-herondale">will-herondale</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/wit">wit</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/294434-so-you-re-a-shadowhunter-nate-said-de-quincey-told-me">2217 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/78470.Rodney_Dangerfield"> <img alt="Rodney Dangerfield" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1208829061i/78470._UX200_CR0,34,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Rodney Dangerfield </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/funny">funny</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/infidelity">infidelity</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/parenthood">parenthood</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/parenting">parenting</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/sexuality">sexuality</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/14376-what-a-kid-i-got-i-told-him-about-the">2207 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/3565.Oscar_Wilde"> <img alt="Oscar Wilde" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1673611182i/3565._UX200_CR0,15,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Oscar Wilde </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/67488-to-get-back-my-youth-i-would-do-anything-in">1951 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/15872.Rick_Riordan"> <img alt="Rick Riordan" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1679846356i/15872._UX200_CR0,0,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper.<br />"Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole."<br />"What?" Piper asked.<br />"Nothing," he said. "Inside joke.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Rick Riordan, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_12127750> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/17115055">The Mark of Athena</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/636530-like-water-leaking-through-a-dam-said-piper-yeah-smiled">1819 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/1401.Stephen_Hawking"> <img alt="Stephen Hawking" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1557493340i/1401._UY200_CR34,0,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Stephen Hawking </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/science">science</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/wisdom">wisdom</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/375883-life-would-be-tragic-if-it-weren-t-funny">1748 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/144990.Bill_Hicks"> <img alt="Bill Hicks" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1219620756i/144990._CR0,40,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Bill Hicks </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/philosophy">philosophy</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/8870-today-a-young-man-on-acid-realized-that-all-matter">1732 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/1654.Terry_Pratchett"> <img alt="Terry Pratchett" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1235562205i/1654._UX200_CR0,38,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Terry Pratchett, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_386372> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/1857065">Mort</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/discworld">discworld</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humor">humor</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/teaching">teaching</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/16568-it-would-seem-that-you-have-no-useful-skill-or">1716 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <div class="quoteText"> “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Woody Allen </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/god">god</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a>, <a href="/quotes/tag/life">life</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/87478-if-you-want-to-make-god-laugh-tell-him-about">1699 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div class="quote mediumText "> <div class="quoteDetails "> <a class="leftAlignedImage quoteAvatar " href="/author/show/4.Douglas_Adams"> <img alt="Douglas Adams" src="https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/authors/1616277702i/4._UX200_CR0,15,200,200_.jpg" /> </a> <div class="quoteText"> “It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.” <br /> ― <span class="authorOrTitle"> Douglas Adams, </span> <span id=quote_book_link_8695> <a class="authorOrTitle" href="/work/quotes/1877624">The Restaurant at the End of the Universe</a> </span> </div> <div class="quoteFooter"> <div class="greyText smallText left"> tags: <a href="/quotes/tag/humour">humour</a> </div> <div class="right"> <a class="smallText" title="View this quote" href="/quotes/35176-it-is-known-that-there-are-an-infinite-number-of">1692 likes</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="action"> <a class="gr-button gr-button--small" rel="nofollow" href="/user/new">Like</a> </div> <br class="clear"/> </div> <div style="float: right;"> <div><span class="previous_page disabled">« previous</span> <em class="current">1</em> <a rel="next" href="/quotes/tag/humour?page=2">2</a> <a 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