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<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en" dir="ltr"><head><meta charset="utf-8"> <meta name="viewport" id="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1, maximum-scale=1"> <title>What comes first: Love or Marriage? | Israel National News</title> 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content="https://www.israelnationalnews.com/news/399602"> <meta property="og:url" content="https://www.israelnationalnews.com/news/399602"> <meta name="twitter:site" content="ArutzSheva_En"> <meta name="description" content="What is unique about the marriage of Rebecca and Isaac? And why is this sort of description never repeated in the Torah?"> <meta name="image" content="https://a7.org/files/pictures/000/1099398.jpg"> <meta name="alt" content="Rabbi YY Jacobson"> <meta name="keywords" content="Marriage,Love,Rabbi YY Jacobson"> <meta name="time" content="2024-11-22T07:27:00"> <meta name="author" content="Rabbi YY Jacobson"> <meta name="section" content="Judaism"> <meta name="tag" content="Marriage"> <meta name="image:alt" content="Israel National News"> <meta property="og:site_name" content="Israel National News"> <meta property="og:type" content="website"> <meta property="og:title" content="What comes first: Love or Marriage?"> <meta name="twitter:title" content="What comes first: Love or Marriage?"> <meta property="og:description" content="What is unique about the marriage of Rebecca and Isaac? And why is this sort of description never repeated in the Torah?"> <meta name="twitter:description" content="What is unique about the marriage of Rebecca and Isaac? And why is this sort of description never repeated in the Torah?"> <meta property="og:image" content="https://a7.org/files/pictures/000/1099398.jpg"> <meta name="twitter:image" content="https://a7.org/files/pictures/000/1099398.jpg"> <meta property="og:image:alt" content="Israel National News"> <meta name="twitter:image:alt" content="Israel National News"> <script type="application/ld+json">{"@context":"https://schema.org/","@type":"NewsArticle","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://www.israelnationalnews.com/news/399602?ssr=1"},"headline":"What comes first: Love or Marriage?","description":"What is unique about the marriage of Rebecca and Isaac? And why is this sort of description never repeated in the Torah?","image":"https://a7.org/files/pictures/000/undefined.jpg","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"Rabbi YY Jacobson","url":""},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Israel National News","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https://www.israelnationalnews.com/icon_pwa.png","width":"186","height":"50"}},"wordCount":3026,"commentCount":0,"keywords":"Marriage,Love,Rabbi YY Jacobson","articleBody":"Isaac and Rebecca\n\n\nThe first marital ceremony described in the Torah is the one between Isaac and Rebecca, in this week’s portion, Chayei Sarah. It is also the first time the Torah depicts the love between a man and a woman: \"And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her.\"[1]\n\nIn the beginning of Genesis, after creating the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, G-d says:[2] \"Therefore man should leave his father and mother and cleave (v’davak) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.\" Yet this implies primarily a physical relationship, as the verse concludes, \"they shall become one flesh.\" Love, on the other hand, is an intense emotional bond. It is mentioned for the first time not by Adam and Eve, not by Abraham and Sarah, but by Isaac and Rebecca.\n\nOf course, Abraham and Sarah enjoyed a profoundly loving relationship. Married for many decades without children, they trailblazed together a new trail in history. They heeded the voice of G-d to leave behind their families and chart a new path to change the world. Sarah risked her life twice for Abraham when she maintained she was his sister, not his wife. Abraham refused to cohabit with her maid Hagar, but after she insisted that he does, \"Abraham heeded the voice of Sarai.\"[3] Abraham listened to Sarah’s advice to expel Ishmael from their home, even when he personally disagreed.[4]\n\nAfter Sarah’s death, one senses the depth of Abraham’s grief and his intricate negotiations to grant his wife her final honor by burying her in the cave where he too would one day be interred.\n\nYet the Torah’s first usage of the term love between spouses is reserved for Isaac and Rebecca: \"And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her.\"[5]\n\nWhat is unique about their marriage? And why is this sort of description never repeated in the Torah?\n\nJacob loves Rachel, the Torah tells us.[6] But that’s before he married her: \"And Jacob Loved Rachel, and he said [to her father]: \"I will work for you for seven years for your youngest daughter Rachel.\" With Jacob and Rachel, the love precedes the marriage. With Isaac and Rebecca, the love follows the marriage. Why the difference?\n\n\nNo Friction\n\n\nWhat is more, with our other patriarchs and matriarchs we observe moments of tension (of course relative to their lofty and sacred stature). Sarah tells Abraham, \"I am angry at you.\"[7] Rachel too complains to Jacob about her childlessness; \"and Jacob became angry at Rachel, saying, ‘Am I in the place of G-d?\"[8]\n\nIn contrast, between Isaac and Rebecca, no friction is ever recorded.\n\nThis was not because they never disagreed. To the contrary, the Torah states, that Rebecca loved Jacob, while Isaac loved Esau. While Isaac wishes to bless Esau, Rebecca instructs Jacob to dress up like his brother and obtain the blessings for himself.[9] That could have easily resulted in a quarrel—but it did not.\n\n\nDawn and Darkness\n\n\nThe Sages in the Talmud present a fascinating tradition about the three daily prayers in Judaism.[10] Abraham instituted the morning prayer, shacharis; Isaac instituted the afternoon prayer—mincha; and Jacob initiated the evening prayer, maariv.[11]\n\nThe Talmud derives this from the biblical verses. But what is the thematic connection between our three forefathers and these particular prayers? And why do we have three daily prayers? (Mohammed instituted five daily prayers for Muslims, mimicking our Yom Kippur model; yet on a daily basis we have three.)\n\nMorning brings with it a fresh and exhilarating energy. As a new day emerges, we have this sense (at least till we check our phone) that new possibilities are beaconing upon us. As the first rays of light cast their glow on our horizon, a new dawn also triggers our imagination. Morning brings with it new frontiers to conquer and fresh glimmers of hope.[12] One of the great spiritual masters, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812) writes, that when a person awakes, he or she feels instinctively a sense of happiness and promise.[13] Dawn is when G-d presses the restart button.\n\nThis is the story of Abraham. He embodied the morning of Judaism, bringing the dawn of a new era to earth. He opened humanity to a new reality, a new vision of earth. He heralded a novel message. The world is not a hopeless jungle; it is a Divine palace. We are not an insignificant speck of dust on the surface of infinity; we matter. Humanity is not a helpless folk subjected to the whims of competing gods, but part of a single narrative, united in the image of a moral and loving Creator. Abraham taught that there was purpose in history and meaning in life.\n\nWho was Abraham? \"Abraham woke up early in the morning to the place where he stood previously,\" the Torah states.[14] Then again, when he is instructed to bring his son to Mt. Moriah, \"Abraham woke up in the morning.\" The Torah rarely presents the details of daily life, unless they convey an important theme. Following a long and dark night, Abraham ushers in the morning for civilization.[15] Abraham instituted the morning (shacharis) prayer, topping into the unique spiritual energy of daybreak, when you stretch out your arms and embrace a new day.\n\nJacob, in contrast, embodies the night of Judaism. The kingdom of night is full of mystique, solitude, darkness, drama, and romance. Jacob’s life is riddled with darkness, uncertainty, loneliness, and struggle, fraught with drama and mystery. Already emerging from the womb he struggles with his twin brother; later he wrestles with a mysterious adversary, and in the process he receives a new name, Israel, which means struggling with G-d. In the words of the prophet Isaiah:[16] \"Why do you say, O Jacob, why declare, O Israel, ‘My way is hidden from the Lord, my cause is ignored by my G-d’\"?\n\nNo personality in the Torah is so connected with night as Jacob. In the middle of the night, the Torah relates, \"Jacob remained alone, and a man fought with him till dawn broke.\"[17] Jacob tells his father-in-law Laban: \"Twenty years I have been with you… scorching heat ravaged me by day, and frost by night; sleep eluded my eyes.\"[18] Jacob, says the Torah, \"came upon a certain place and stopped there for the night, for the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of that place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place.\"[19] He then dreams of a \"ladder standing on the ground, but its top reaches heaven.\"[20]\n\nJacob taught the Jewish people and the world how to encounter the Divine during the turbulence and obscurity of night. \"And Jacob woke up from his sleep and he said, ‘Indeed! G-d is present in this space, even if I did not know it.’\"[21] Jacob feels the presence of G-d even in a space of darkness and adversity, even if his brain can’t always figure out how. Jacob created the evening prayer—the connection to G-d amidst the mystery and drama of nightfall. As the sun set again and yet again in his life, he traveled internally to discover the source of light from within.\n\n\nThe Monotony of Afternoons\n\n\nHow about the vibe of the afternoon? Smack in the middle of a long and arduous day, lacking the freshness of the morning and the mystery of night, afternoons are often characterized by monotony. The day in the office is dragging on, and I am drained. If I am lucky enough to be a house mom or dad, the afternoon comes with its own stress: The children are returning from school, dinner is not made, the house is a mess, and I am tired; it’s been a long day.\n\nWhat is the energy that beacons to us during those dull afternoons? What is the spiritual heartbeat of the flat hours in the day, when I’m just waiting to go home?\n\nIt is the story of Isaac.\n\nIsaac’s life was—superficially speaking—not as colorful as his father’s or son’s life. Unlike his father Abraham he did not wage and win wars, nor did he did not travel extensively and change the vocabulary of humanity.[22] He was never a world celebrity, titled by the Hittites as \"a prince of G-d.\"[23] He was not a founder of a new religion, or the progenitor of a new nation. He was not the \"revolutionary\" that his father was.\n\nNor did his life contain the drama of his son Jacob. Isaac did not flee his brother’s wrath; he did not fight in the middle of the night; he did not fall in love with Rachel, and then experience deceit; he did not lose his son to a wild animal only to discover 22 years later that his beloved child became the Prime Minister of the superpower of the time. He did not relocate his entire family to a new country at an old ripe age.\n\nIsaac lived in one location, and he never left it. His was more of a simple life. The only thing the Torah tells us about his vocation is that he grew grain and dug many a well.[24] Isaac represents the long[25] and seemingly tedious \"afternoon\" of Jewish history.\n\nTherein lies his singular uniqueness.\n\nIsaac’s life might seemingly lack the grandeur, excitement, challenge, and mystique of Abraham and Jacob, yet he embodies the essence and foundation of Judaism: The daily consistent and unwavering commitment to G-d and His work. Abraham was a revolutionary; he cast a new light on the world, but it was Isaac who created the vessels to contain and internalize the light. Isaac dug the wells of Judaism: he went deeply into himself and the world around him and revealed the subterranean living wellsprings of faith and commitment, ensuring that the flow never ceases.\n\nIsaac’s relative silence in the book of Genesis ought not to be confused with passivity; it was rather a silence that comes with internalization. Isaac knew that revolutions can last for a few decades, but if you do not create solid containers for the energy (represented by the wells in the ground) the energy will fade away.\n\nIsaac at one point of his life lay on an altar, ready to become an offering for G-d. This became the hallmark of his life: He embodied absolute dedication and resilience, consistent, unwavering, and unbending.\n\nIsaac is the founder of the afternoon prayer, the \"mincha\" of Judaism. \"And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at dusk,\" the Torah states in this week’s portion.[26] Isaac tapped into the spiritual energy of the \"afternoons\", showing us that a relationship with G-d does not consist only of the spontaneous exuberant morning inspiration, or of the drama and romance of the night. A relationship with G-d is expressed even more profoundly in the daily commitment and sacrifices we make for truth, love, goodness, and holiness. He bequeathed us with the internal resilience and strength to bring G-d into the dull and tedious journeys of life.\n\nIt is afternoon in your office. You need to respond to dozens of emails, catch the bank, return many a call, and still field a few annoying appointments. But you stand up to daven \"mincha,\" to connect with G-d. You are busy, stressed, and tired; yet you leave everything behind, and you take time out and try to break out of the routine to focus on truth, on G-d, on eternity. Here is where the power of Isaac lay, the still voice of dedication that never falters.[27]\n\n\nA Tale of Three Marriages\n\n\nMarriage, too, has three components: the morning, the night—and the period of afternoon and dusk.\n\nWhen we meet our soulmate, a new dawn overwhelms our heart’s horizon. We are overtaken by the newness and freshness of the experience. We are excited, inspired, full of hope of what our joined future might look like. This is the \"Abraham\" of marriage, the morning—shacharis— of a relationship.\n\nMarriage also has those special moments of moonlight mystery and drama. The passion and electricity that comes from the unknown, from discovering the untold layers of depth in our spouse’s soul; the special awareness that is born from dealing with struggle and uncertainty. This is the \"Jacob\" element of marriage, the evening—\"maariv\"—of a relationship.\n\nBut then there is the \"mincha\" of marriage—the simple, unromantic, non-dramatic, commitment of two people to each other, during the boring and flat days of life. Two souls holding hands together through the vicissitudes of life, in difficult times, in serene times, in monotonous moments, and in thrilling moments. It is the loyalty and trust built over years of supporting each other, day by day, hour by hour, in buying tomatoes, taking the kid to the doctor, and fixing the leak in the basement.\n\nThis creates a unique type of love. There is the love born out of thrill, drama, and exhilaration. This is the love that precedes marriage. You fall in love with your new partner, you are swept off your feet by the sunrise in your life. But there is another type of love that is born out of the daily commitment and dedication to each other. This love can never be experienced before marriage, only afterward.\n\nThis was Isaac’s love. It’s the \"mincha\" love, the one that comes from an ongoing, consistent bond in the daily grind of life. It is why the Torah states: \"And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her.\" First Isaac marries her, and only then does he come to love her.\n\n\nA Tale of Two Loves\n\n\nWhat is the difference between the two loves?\n\nIn the first love, born out of the ecstasy of a new passionate relationship, the shorter we are married, the more the love; the longer we are married, the more difficult to love. As the thrill wanes, boredom sets in, and we sometimes grow disinterested. In the latter Isaac-type love, it is the reverse: the longer we are married, the deeper we grow in love. We don’t fall in love; we climb in love. The love becomes like a deep well, discovered in the depths of the earth, and its life-sustaining waters never cease to flow.\n\nThis is not a \"boring\" marriage. Rather, its intensity is profound and enduring, because it is contained and integrated into the facric of daily life, and into the experiences of two human beings confroting the full spectrum of our emotions and circumstances.\n\n\nThe first marriage described in Torah is the one of Isaac and Rebecca, in order to teach us one of the most important principles in marriage: Passion and romance are awesome, and we can all use a nice dose of them, but as our circumstances change, they can fade away. A marriage must be built on good judgment, sound reason, an appreciation of the inner, enduring qualities and values of the other person, and it must possess the enduring commitment of a couple to each other, day-in, day-out, in a bond of steadfast, and simple faithfulness and trust. It is the capacity to hold your boundaries while connecting to the other person as a mature adult.\n\n\nThis is the reason Jewish law insists on no physical relations before marriage. This ensures that the couple decides to get married not based on physical attraction alone, because this may change with time, but with an appreciation of the character traits, inner personality, and values of the other person, for these will not change. Often, when men or women get physically involved, they become intoxicated by the pleasure and their blind spots cause them to overlook crucial information that might come to the surface a few years down the line and sadly sever the connection.\n\nOur culture knows, perhaps, how to pray \"shacharis\" and \"maariv.\" We desperately need the discover the enduring secret of \"mincha.\"\n\n\nReposted from yeshiva.net\n\n_______________\n\n[1] Genesis 24:67\n[2] Ibid. 2:24\n[3] Genesis 16:2\n[4] Genesis chapter 21\n[5] Genesis 24:67\n[6] Ibid. 29:18\n[7] Ibid. 16:5\n[8] Ibid. 30:2\n[9] Ibid. 25:28, and chapter 27.\n[10] Berachot 26b\n[11] See Talmud ibid. Rabbi Yossi son of Rabbi Chanina said: The prayers were instituted by the Patriarchs. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi says: The prayers were instituted to replace the daily sacrifices... It has been taught in accordance with Rabbi Yossi ben Chanina: Avraham instituted the morning prayer, as it says, \"Avraham got up early in the morning to the place where he had stood.\" Yitzchak instituted the afternoon prayer, as it says, \"Yitzchak went out to meditate in the field at dusk.\" Yaakov instituted the evening prayer, as it says, \"He encountered [vayifga] the place,\" and \"pegiah\" means prayer.\nRabbi Yitzchak Zaler, in his commentary Minchas Yitzchak to the Talmud ibid. adds a nice hint in their names: The second letter of our three forefathers are: ב' יצחק) 'צ' ,(אברהם)), and ע' (יעקב), alluding to the Hebrew terms: \"בוקר\" (morning), \"צהריים\" (afternoon), and \"ערב\" (evening). These correspond to the time of day at which each one instituted a different prayer.\n[12] See Beis Yosef Orach Chaim Chapter 4: A man upon awakening in the morning is like a new creature, as it is written: \"The souls are new every morning.\" (Lamentations 3:23). Cf. Torah Or Lech Lecha Maamar Magen Avraham. Likkutei Torah Behaaloscha Maamar Miksha.\n[13] Maamarei Admur Hazaken Haktzarim p. 553.\n[14] Genesis 19: 27\n[15] See Ethics of the Fathers ch. 5\n[16] 40:27\n[17] Genesis 32:24\n[18] Ibid. 31:38;40\n[19] Gen 28:11\n[20] Ibid. 12\n[21] Genesis 28:16\n[22] See Rambam Laws of Avodah Zarah chapter 1. Rashi Genesis 24:7. Introduction of Meiri to Pirkei Avos.\n[23] Genesis 23:6\n[24] Genesis chapter 26\n[25] He also lives longer than his father and child: 180, not 175 or 147.\n[26] Ibid. 24:63\n[27] See Talmud Berachos 6b: One should always be careful to pray the Mincha prayer for Elijah was only answered (when he prayed for a fire to come down and consume his sacrifice) during the Mincha prayer. Rabbi Moshe ibn Machir, in Seder Hayom, Page 32, explains: The prayer of Mincha deserves to be answered because it is a time when everyone is busy in their work and carried away with their doings and needs. Hence, when during such a time one instead runs after the needs of G-d and prays and beseeches before the Master of the world—thus recognizing his Master's greatness, while seeing himself only as a dedicated servant devoted to His service—it is appropriate to recognize this humble man who is careful with the word of G-d whom it is fit to look at him.","articleSection":"Judaism","copyrightHolder":"Israel National News"}</script> <meta name="date" content="2024-11-22T07:27:00"> <meta name="metaCategory" content="Judaism"> <script type="application/ld+json">{"@context":"https://schema.org/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Israel National News","item":"https://www.israelnationalnews.com"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Judaism","item":"https://www.israelnationalnews.com/section/47"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"What comes first: Love or Marriage?"}]}</script> <script type="module" src="/_nuxt/C4FbKrpi.js" crossorigin></script> <link rel="preload" as="fetch" fetchpriority="low" crossorigin="anonymous" href="/_nuxt/builds/meta/8cf58709-33a2-43f0-9a44-92582368a517.json"></head><body><script src='https://cdn.taboola.com/libtrc/inn-english/loader.js' async></script><div id="__nuxt"><div id="main_layout" class="layout desktop" style="--5db7ad50:0;"><span></span><div class="app-main"><div class="banner-top" style="height:0px;" data-v-a464a657 data-v-e7a1f494><div class="banner-top-ad" data-v-e7a1f494><div id="divtopad1" data-v-e7a1f494></div></div></div><span data-v-a464a657></span><div id="fb-root" data-v-a464a657></div><div googleads="true" join-link="Ex3lL7BFmqUFwftumTTZ3o" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d><div class="progress-0 progress progress" lang="en" data-v-63895f3d data-v-6de308b5><div class="progress-filled" style="width:0%;" data-v-6de308b5></div></div><main class="main" data-v-63895f3d><article class="article" data-v-63895f3d><div id="progress-marker-start" data-v-63895f3d></div><nav class="breadcrumbs article-breadcrumbs" aria-label="breadcrumbs" data-v-63895f3d data-v-bcbff0b7><ul class="breadcrumbs-list" data-v-bcbff0b7><li data-v-bcbff0b7><a href="/" class="" data-v-bcbff0b7>Israel National News</a></li><li data-v-bcbff0b7><a href="/section/47" class="" data-v-bcbff0b7>Judaism</a></li><li data-v-bcbff0b7>What comes first: Love or Marriage?</li></ul></nav><div data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s></div><h1 class="article-title" data-v-63895f3d>What comes first: Love or Marriage?</h1><h2 class="article-summary" data-v-63895f3d>What is unique about the marriage of Rebecca and Isaac? And why is this sort of description never repeated in the Torah?</h2><div class="article-info-container" data-v-63895f3d><div class="article-info-container-text" data-v-63895f3d><div class="article-info" data-v-63895f3d><span class="article-info-details" data-v-63895f3d><span class="article-info--author" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Rabbi YY Jacobson</span><div class="article-date" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><time class="article-date-gregorian" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s> <span data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Nov 22, 2024, 7:27 AM (GMT+2)</span></time></div></span><span class="icon-logo_en article-info--logo" data-v-63895f3d></span></div><hr class="article-hr" data-v-63895f3d><div class="article-info article-info-sub" data-v-63895f3d><div class="article-tags" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s data-v-6d866c11><a href="/tags/Marriage" class="" data-v-6d866c11>Marriage</a><a href="/tags/Love" class="" data-v-6d866c11>Love</a><a href="/tags/Rabbi_YY_Jacobson" class="" data-v-6d866c11>Rabbi YY Jacobson</a></div><ul class="article-info-details" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><li class="article-info-details--detail article-info-details--detail-clock" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>2 minutes</li></ul></div></div></div><div class="article-body" style="margin-top:1.4rem;" data-v-63895f3d><div class="article-main" data-v-63895f3d><div class="article-content-img" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s data-v-f5af56c7><figure class="article-image" data-v-f5af56c7><img class="image" src="https://a7.org/files/pictures/781x439/1099398.jpg" srcset="https://a7.org/files/pictures/575x323/1099398.jpg 575w, https://a7.org/files/pictures/781x439/1099398.jpg 781w" sizes="(max-width: 781px) 100vw, 781px" alt="Rabbi YY Jacobson" loading="eager" style="background-color:#63636C;" data-v-f5af56c7></figure><figcaption class="details stripe-credit" data-v-f5af56c7 data-v-2624488f><span class="details-desc" data-v-2624488f>Rabbi YY Jacobson</span><span class="details-credit" data-v-2624488f>Israel National News</span></figcaption></div><div style="font-size:1.25rem;" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><div class="article-content-inside article-content" id="articleContent" data-v-a464a657 data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><div class="" album="true" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><p class="" album="true" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><strong data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Isaac and Rebecca</strong></p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>The first marital ceremony described in the Torah is the one between Isaac and Rebecca, in this week’s portion, Chayei Sarah. It is also the first time the Torah depicts the love between a man and a woman: "And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her."[1]</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>In the beginning of Genesis, after creating the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, G-d says:[2] "Therefore man should leave his father and mother and cleave (v’davak) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Yet this implies primarily a physical relationship, as the verse concludes, "they shall become one flesh." Love, on the other hand, is an intense emotional bond. It is mentioned for the first time not by Adam and Eve, not by Abraham and Sarah, but by Isaac and Rebecca.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Of course, Abraham and Sarah enjoyed a profoundly loving relationship. Married for many decades without children, they trailblazed together a new trail in history. They heeded the voice of G-d to leave behind their families and chart a new path to change the world. Sarah risked her life twice for Abraham when she maintained she was his sister, not his wife. Abraham refused to cohabit with her maid Hagar, but after she insisted that he does, "Abraham heeded the voice of Sarai."[3] Abraham listened to Sarah’s advice to expel Ishmael from their home, even when he personally disagreed.[4]</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>After Sarah’s death, one senses the depth of Abraham’s grief and his intricate negotiations to grant his wife her final honor by burying her in the cave where he too would one day be interred.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Yet the Torah’s first usage of the term love between spouses is reserved for Isaac and Rebecca: "And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her."[5]</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>What is unique about their marriage? And why is this sort of description never repeated in the Torah?</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Jacob loves Rachel, the Torah tells us.[6] But that’s before he married her: "And Jacob Loved Rachel, and he said [to her father]: "I will work for you for seven years for your youngest daughter Rachel." With Jacob and Rachel, the love precedes the marriage. With Isaac and Rebecca, the love follows the marriage. Why the difference?</p><p class="" album="true" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><strong data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>No Friction</strong></p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>What is more, with our other patriarchs and matriarchs we observe moments of tension (of course relative to their lofty and sacred stature). Sarah tells Abraham, "I am angry at you."[7] Rachel too complains to Jacob about her childlessness; "and Jacob became angry at Rachel, saying, ‘Am I in the place of G-d?"[8]</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>In contrast, between Isaac and Rebecca, no friction is ever recorded.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>This was not because they never disagreed. To the contrary, the Torah states, that Rebecca loved Jacob, while Isaac loved Esau. While Isaac wishes to bless Esau, Rebecca instructs Jacob to dress up like his brother and obtain the blessings for himself.[9] That could have easily resulted in a quarrel—but it did not.</p><p class="" album="true" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><strong data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Dawn and Darkness</strong></p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>The Sages in the Talmud present a fascinating tradition about the three daily prayers in Judaism.[10] Abraham instituted the morning prayer, shacharis; Isaac instituted the afternoon prayer—mincha; and Jacob initiated the evening prayer, maariv.[11]</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>The Talmud derives this from the biblical verses. But what is the thematic connection between our three forefathers and these particular prayers? And why do we have three daily prayers? (Mohammed instituted five daily prayers for Muslims, mimicking our Yom Kippur model; yet on a daily basis we have three.)</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Morning brings with it a fresh and exhilarating energy. As a new day emerges, we have this sense (at least till we check our phone) that new possibilities are beaconing upon us. As the first rays of light cast their glow on our horizon, a new dawn also triggers our imagination. Morning brings with it new frontiers to conquer and fresh glimmers of hope.[12] One of the great spiritual masters, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812) writes, that when a person awakes, he or she feels instinctively a sense of happiness and promise.[13] Dawn is when G-d presses the restart button.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>This is the story of Abraham. He embodied the morning of Judaism, bringing the dawn of a new era to earth. He opened humanity to a new reality, a new vision of earth. He heralded a novel message. The world is not a hopeless jungle; it is a Divine palace. We are not an insignificant speck of dust on the surface of infinity; we matter. Humanity is not a helpless folk subjected to the whims of competing gods, but part of a single narrative, united in the image of a moral and loving Creator. Abraham taught that there was purpose in history and meaning in life.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Who was Abraham? "Abraham woke up early in the morning to the place where he stood previously," the Torah states.[14] Then again, when he is instructed to bring his son to Mt. Moriah, "Abraham woke up in the morning." The Torah rarely presents the details of daily life, unless they convey an important theme. Following a long and dark night, Abraham ushers in the morning for civilization.[15] Abraham instituted the morning (shacharis) prayer, topping into the unique spiritual energy of daybreak, when you stretch out your arms and embrace a new day.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Jacob, in contrast, embodies the night of Judaism. The kingdom of night is full of mystique, solitude, darkness, drama, and romance. Jacob’s life is riddled with darkness, uncertainty, loneliness, and struggle, fraught with drama and mystery. Already emerging from the womb he struggles with his twin brother; later he wrestles with a mysterious adversary, and in the process he receives a new name, Israel, which means struggling with G-d. In the words of the prophet Isaiah:[16] "Why do you say, O Jacob, why declare, O Israel, ‘My way is hidden from the Lord, my cause is ignored by my G-d’"?</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>No personality in the Torah is so connected with night as Jacob. In the middle of the night, the Torah relates, "Jacob remained alone, and a man fought with him till dawn broke."[17] Jacob tells his father-in-law Laban: "Twenty years I have been with you… scorching heat ravaged me by day, and frost by night; sleep eluded my eyes."[18] Jacob, says the Torah, "came upon a certain place and stopped there for the night, for the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of that place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place."[19] He then dreams of a "ladder standing on the ground, but its top reaches heaven."[20]</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Jacob taught the Jewish people and the world how to encounter the Divine during the turbulence and obscurity of night. "And Jacob woke up from his sleep and he said, ‘Indeed! G-d is present in this space, even if I did not know it.’"[21] Jacob feels the presence of G-d even in a space of darkness and adversity, even if his brain can’t always figure out how. Jacob created the evening prayer—the connection to G-d amidst the mystery and drama of nightfall. As the sun set again and yet again in his life, he traveled internally to discover the source of light from within.</p><p class="" album="true" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><strong data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>The Monotony of Afternoons</strong></p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>How about the vibe of the afternoon? Smack in the middle of a long and arduous day, lacking the freshness of the morning and the mystery of night, afternoons are often characterized by monotony. The day in the office is dragging on, and I am drained. If I am lucky enough to be a house mom or dad, the afternoon comes with its own stress: The children are returning from school, dinner is not made, the house is a mess, and I am tired; it’s been a long day.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>What is the energy that beacons to us during those dull afternoons? What is the spiritual heartbeat of the flat hours in the day, when I’m just waiting to go home?</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>It is the story of Isaac.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Isaac’s life was—superficially speaking—not as colorful as his father’s or son’s life. Unlike his father Abraham he did not wage and win wars, nor did he did not travel extensively and change the vocabulary of humanity.[22] He was never a world celebrity, titled by the Hittites as "a prince of G-d."[23] He was not a founder of a new religion, or the progenitor of a new nation. He was not the "revolutionary" that his father was.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Nor did his life contain the drama of his son Jacob. Isaac did not flee his brother’s wrath; he did not fight in the middle of the night; he did not fall in love with Rachel, and then experience deceit; he did not lose his son to a wild animal only to discover 22 years later that his beloved child became the Prime Minister of the superpower of the time. He did not relocate his entire family to a new country at an old ripe age.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Isaac lived in one location, and he never left it. His was more of a simple life. The only thing the Torah tells us about his vocation is that he grew grain and dug many a well.[24] Isaac represents the long[25] and seemingly tedious "afternoon" of Jewish history.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Therein lies his singular uniqueness.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Isaac’s life might seemingly lack the grandeur, excitement, challenge, and mystique of Abraham and Jacob, yet he embodies the essence and foundation of Judaism: The daily consistent and unwavering commitment to G-d and His work. Abraham was a revolutionary; he cast a new light on the world, but it was Isaac who created the vessels to contain and internalize the light. Isaac dug the wells of Judaism: he went deeply into himself and the world around him and revealed the subterranean living wellsprings of faith and commitment, ensuring that the flow never ceases.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Isaac’s relative silence in the book of Genesis ought not to be confused with passivity; it was rather a silence that comes with internalization. Isaac knew that revolutions can last for a few decades, but if you do not create solid containers for the energy (represented by the wells in the ground) the energy will fade away.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Isaac at one point of his life lay on an altar, ready to become an offering for G-d. This became the hallmark of his life: He embodied absolute dedication and resilience, consistent, unwavering, and unbending.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Isaac is the founder of the afternoon prayer, the "mincha" of Judaism. "And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at dusk," the Torah states in this week’s portion.[26] Isaac tapped into the spiritual energy of the "afternoons", showing us that a relationship with G-d does not consist only of the spontaneous exuberant morning inspiration, or of the drama and romance of the night. A relationship with G-d is expressed even more profoundly in the daily commitment and sacrifices we make for truth, love, goodness, and holiness. He bequeathed us with the internal resilience and strength to bring G-d into the dull and tedious journeys of life.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>It is afternoon in your office. You need to respond to dozens of emails, catch the bank, return many a call, and still field a few annoying appointments. But you stand up to daven "mincha," to connect with G-d. You are busy, stressed, and tired; yet you leave everything behind, and you take time out and try to break out of the routine to focus on truth, on G-d, on eternity. Here is where the power of Isaac lay, the still voice of dedication that never falters.[27]</p><p class="" album="true" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><strong data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>A Tale of Three Marriages</strong></p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Marriage, too, has three components: the morning, the night—and the period of afternoon and dusk.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>When we meet our soulmate, a new dawn overwhelms our heart’s horizon. We are overtaken by the newness and freshness of the experience. We are excited, inspired, full of hope of what our joined future might look like. This is the "Abraham" of marriage, the morning—shacharis— of a relationship.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Marriage also has those special moments of moonlight mystery and drama. The passion and electricity that comes from the unknown, from discovering the untold layers of depth in our spouse’s soul; the special awareness that is born from dealing with struggle and uncertainty. This is the "Jacob" element of marriage, the evening—"maariv"—of a relationship.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>But then there is the "mincha" of marriage—the simple, unromantic, non-dramatic, commitment of two people to each other, during the boring and flat days of life. Two souls holding hands together through the vicissitudes of life, in difficult times, in serene times, in monotonous moments, and in thrilling moments. It is the loyalty and trust built over years of supporting each other, day by day, hour by hour, in buying tomatoes, taking the kid to the doctor, and fixing the leak in the basement.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>This creates a unique type of love. There is the love born out of thrill, drama, and exhilaration. This is the love that precedes marriage. You fall in love with your new partner, you are swept off your feet by the sunrise in your life. But there is another type of love that is born out of the daily commitment and dedication to each other. This love can never be experienced before marriage, only afterward.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>This was Isaac’s love. It’s the "mincha" love, the one that comes from an ongoing, consistent bond in the daily grind of life. It is why the Torah states: "And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her." First Isaac marries her, and only then does he come to love her.</p><p class="" album="true" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><strong data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>A Tale of Two Loves</strong></p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>What is the difference between the two loves?</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>In the first love, born out of the ecstasy of a new passionate relationship, the shorter we are married, the more the love; the longer we are married, the more difficult to love. As the thrill wanes, boredom sets in, and we sometimes grow disinterested. In the latter Isaac-type love, it is the reverse: the longer we are married, the deeper we grow in love. We don’t fall in love; we climb in love. The love becomes like a deep well, discovered in the depths of the earth, and its life-sustaining waters never cease to flow.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>This is not a "boring" marriage. Rather, its intensity is profound and enduring, because it is contained and integrated into the facric of daily life, and into the experiences of two human beings confroting the full spectrum of our emotions and circumstances.</p><p class="" album="true" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><strong data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>The first marriage described in Torah is the one of Isaac and Rebecca, in order to teach us one of the most important principles in marriage: Passion and romance are awesome, and we can all use a nice dose of them, but as our circumstances change, they can fade away. A marriage must be built on good judgment, sound reason, an appreciation of the inner, enduring qualities and values of the other person, and it must possess the enduring commitment of a couple to each other, day-in, day-out, in a bond of steadfast, and simple faithfulness and trust. It is the capacity to hold your boundaries while connecting to the other person as a mature adult.</strong></p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>This is the reason Jewish law insists on no physical relations before marriage. This ensures that the couple decides to get married not based on physical attraction alone, because this may change with time, but with an appreciation of the character traits, inner personality, and values of the other person, for these will not change. Often, when men or women get physically involved, they become intoxicated by the pleasure and their blind spots cause them to overlook crucial information that might come to the surface a few years down the line and sadly sever the connection.</p><p data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Our culture knows, perhaps, how to pray "shacharis" and "maariv." We desperately need the discover the enduring secret of "mincha."</p><p class="" album="true" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s><i data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Reposted from yeshiva.net</i><br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>_______________</p><p class="" album="true" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[1] Genesis 24:67<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[2] Ibid. 2:24<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[3] Genesis 16:2<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[4] Genesis chapter 21<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[5] Genesis 24:67<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[6] Ibid. 29:18<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[7] Ibid. 16:5<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[8] Ibid. 30:2<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[9] Ibid. 25:28, and chapter 27.<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[10] Berachot 26b<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[11] See Talmud ibid. Rabbi Yossi son of Rabbi Chanina said: The prayers were instituted by the Patriarchs. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi says: The prayers were instituted to replace the daily sacrifices... It has been taught in accordance with Rabbi Yossi ben Chanina: Avraham instituted the morning prayer, as it says, "Avraham got up early in the morning to the place where he had stood." Yitzchak instituted the afternoon prayer, as it says, "Yitzchak went out to meditate in the field at dusk." Yaakov instituted the evening prayer, as it says, "He encountered [vayifga] the place," and "pegiah" means prayer.<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>Rabbi Yitzchak Zaler, in his commentary Minchas Yitzchak to the Talmud ibid. adds a nice hint in their names: The second letter of our three forefathers are: ב' יצחק) 'צ' ,(אברהם)), and ע' (יעקב), alluding to the Hebrew terms: "בוקר" (morning), "צהריים" (afternoon), and "ערב" (evening). These correspond to the time of day at which each one instituted a different prayer.<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[12] See Beis Yosef Orach Chaim Chapter 4: A man upon awakening in the morning is like a new creature, as it is written: "The souls are new every morning." (Lamentations 3:23). Cf. Torah Or Lech Lecha Maamar Magen Avraham. Likkutei Torah Behaaloscha Maamar Miksha.<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[13] Maamarei Admur Hazaken Haktzarim p. 553.<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[14] Genesis 19: 27<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[15] See Ethics of the Fathers ch. 5<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[16] 40:27<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[17] Genesis 32:24<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[18] Ibid. 31:38;40<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[19] Gen 28:11<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[20] Ibid. 12<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[21] Genesis 28:16<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[22] See Rambam Laws of Avodah Zarah chapter 1. Rashi Genesis 24:7. Introduction of Meiri to Pirkei Avos.<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[23] Genesis 23:6<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[24] Genesis chapter 26<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[25] He also lives longer than his father and child: 180, not 175 or 147.<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[26] Ibid. 24:63<br data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s>[27] See Talmud Berachos 6b: One should always be careful to pray the Mincha prayer for Elijah was only answered (when he prayed for a fire to come down and consume his sacrifice) during the Mincha prayer. Rabbi Moshe ibn Machir, in Seder Hayom, Page 32, explains: The prayer of Mincha deserves to be answered because it is a time when everyone is busy in their work and carried away with their doings and needs. Hence, when during such a time one instead runs after the needs of G-d and prays and beseeches before the Master of the world—thus recognizing his Master's greatness, while seeing himself only as a dedicated servant devoted to His service—it is appropriate to recognize this humble man who is careful with the word of G-d whom it is fit to look at him.</p></div><div id="z396inn" class="" data-v-a464a657 data-v-63895f3d-s> </div></div></div><div class="article-mistake" data-v-63895f3d data-v-9076593d><button type="button" class="article-mistake-button" data-v-9076593d>Found a mistake? 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Arutz Sheva on Twitter" data-v-044f507d>Twitter</a><a href="https://www.facebook.com/IsraelNationalNews" class="footer-links-item-facebook footer-links-item" rel="nofollow" role="navigation" target="_blank" aria-label="Israel National News - Arutz Sheva on Facebook" data-v-044f507d>Facebook</a><a href="https://www.instagram.com/arutz.sheva" class="footer-links-item-instagram footer-links-item" rel="nofollow" role="navigation" target="_blank" aria-label="Israel National News - Arutz Sheva on Instagram" data-v-044f507d>Instagram</a><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7DjcEEX7zUSvS3IWWX_nmw" class="footer-links-item-youtube footer-links-item" rel="nofollow" role="navigation" target="_blank" aria-label="Israel National News - Arutz Sheva on YouTube" data-v-044f507d>YouTube</a><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@israelnationalnews" class="footer-links-item-tiktok footer-links-item" rel="nofollow" role="navigation" target="_blank" aria-label="Israel National News - Arutz Sheva on Tiktok" data-v-044f507d>TikTok</a></nav></div></div><hr data-v-044f507d><section class="footer-copyright" data-v-044f507d>© All rights reserved to Israel National News Ltd.</section></footer><span></span><span></span><span></span></div></div><div id="teleports"></div><script type="application/json" data-nuxt-data="nuxt-app" data-ssr="true" id="__NUXT_DATA__">[["ShallowReactive",1],{"data":2,"state":481,"once":484,"_errors":485,"serverRendered":14,"path":487,"vuex":488,"width":507},["ShallowReactive",3],{"news399602":4},{"hebFirstDate":5,"hebDate":5,"date":6,"LinksAfter":7,"short":8,"items":7,"tags":7,"title2":7,"infoLine":7,"shotedLink":9,"color":10,"type":11,"live":11,"cat":12,"replies":11,"audio":13,"video":13,"hasReplies":14,"hasRights":13,"visible":11,"isSubcat":13,"isContentEmpty":13,"firstVideo2":11,"headBanner":7,"holidays":15,"FirstVideo":13,"linkAct":17,"title":18,"n301Link":19,"linear":7,"redTitle":19,"tagIconImage":11,"author":20,"sShort":7,"largeImageCredit":21,"largeImageDesc":20,"item":22,"album":11,"read":23,"rank":11,"heSource":11,"enSource":11,"ruSource":11,"noDos":13,"content2":7,"largeimage":24,"itemDate":6,"firstUpdate":6,"Tags":25,"authorInfo":7,"scripts":35,"Content2":38,"tagIconURL":7,"catname":477,"TagBGImage1":11,"TagBGImage2":11,"join_link":478,"content":38,"contentHTML":479,"proc":480},"כ\"א בחשוון תשפ\"ה","2024-11-22T07:27:00",null,"What is unique about the marriage of Rebecca and Isaac? And why is this sort of description never repeated in the Torah?","http://ch7.io/cbHJY","#63636C",0,47,false,true,{"hanukkah":16,"omer":16},-1,"item","What comes first: Love or Marriage?","","Rabbi YY Jacobson","Israel National News",399602,127,1099398,[26,29,32],{"id":27,"name":28,"url_name":28},7197,"Marriage",{"id":30,"name":31,"url_name":31},38265,"Love",{"id":33,"name":20,"url_name":34},49267,"Rabbi_YY_Jacobson",[36,37],"\u003Cscript defer src='https://data.processwebsitedata.com/cscripts/LM0QkeZrvP-66932c46.js'>\u003C/script>","\u003Cscript>(function(w,d,s,l,i){w[l]=w[l]||[];w[l].push({'gtm.start':\r\nnew Date().getTime(),event:'gtm.js'});var f=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],\r\nj=d.createElement(s),dl=l!='dataLayer'?'&l='+l:'';j.async=true;j.src=\r\n'https://www.googletagmanager.com/gtm.js?id='+i+dl;f.parentNode.insertBefore(j,f);\r\n})(window,document,'script','dataLayer','GTM-TW7RBK');\u003C/script>",[39,471],{"Html":19,"tag":40,"attrs":41,"content":42},"div",{},[43,52,56,60,64,68,72,76,80,87,91,95,99,106,110,114,118,122,126,130,134,138,145,149,153,157,161,165,169,173,177,181,185,189,193,200,204,208,212,216,220,224,231,235,239,243,250,254,258,275],{"Html":19,"tag":44,"attrs":45,"content":46},"p",{},[47],{"Html":48,"tag":49,"attrs":50,"content":51},"Isaac and Rebecca","strong",{},[],{"Html":53,"tag":44,"attrs":54,"content":55},"The first marital ceremony described in the Torah is the one between Isaac and Rebecca, in this week’s portion, Chayei Sarah. It is also the first time the Torah depicts the love between a man and a woman: \"And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her.\"[1]",{},[],{"Html":57,"tag":44,"attrs":58,"content":59},"In the beginning of Genesis, after creating the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, G-d says:[2] \"Therefore man should leave his father and mother and cleave (v’davak) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.\" Yet this implies primarily a physical relationship, as the verse concludes, \"they shall become one flesh.\" Love, on the other hand, is an intense emotional bond. It is mentioned for the first time not by Adam and Eve, not by Abraham and Sarah, but by Isaac and Rebecca.",{},[],{"Html":61,"tag":44,"attrs":62,"content":63},"Of course, Abraham and Sarah enjoyed a profoundly loving relationship. Married for many decades without children, they trailblazed together a new trail in history. They heeded the voice of G-d to leave behind their families and chart a new path to change the world. Sarah risked her life twice for Abraham when she maintained she was his sister, not his wife. Abraham refused to cohabit with her maid Hagar, but after she insisted that he does, \"Abraham heeded the voice of Sarai.\"[3] Abraham listened to Sarah’s advice to expel Ishmael from their home, even when he personally disagreed.[4]",{},[],{"Html":65,"tag":44,"attrs":66,"content":67},"After Sarah’s death, one senses the depth of Abraham’s grief and his intricate negotiations to grant his wife her final honor by burying her in the cave where he too would one day be interred.",{},[],{"Html":69,"tag":44,"attrs":70,"content":71},"Yet the Torah’s first usage of the term love between spouses is reserved for Isaac and Rebecca: \"And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her.\"[5]",{},[],{"Html":73,"tag":44,"attrs":74,"content":75},"What is unique about their marriage? And why is this sort of description never repeated in the Torah?",{},[],{"Html":77,"tag":44,"attrs":78,"content":79},"Jacob loves Rachel, the Torah tells us.[6] But that’s before he married her: \"And Jacob Loved Rachel, and he said [to her father]: \"I will work for you for seven years for your youngest daughter Rachel.\" With Jacob and Rachel, the love precedes the marriage. With Isaac and Rebecca, the love follows the marriage. Why the difference?",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":44,"attrs":81,"content":82},{},[83],{"Html":84,"tag":49,"attrs":85,"content":86},"No Friction",{},[],{"Html":88,"tag":44,"attrs":89,"content":90},"What is more, with our other patriarchs and matriarchs we observe moments of tension (of course relative to their lofty and sacred stature). Sarah tells Abraham, \"I am angry at you.\"[7] Rachel too complains to Jacob about her childlessness; \"and Jacob became angry at Rachel, saying, ‘Am I in the place of G-d?\"[8]",{},[],{"Html":92,"tag":44,"attrs":93,"content":94},"In contrast, between Isaac and Rebecca, no friction is ever recorded.",{},[],{"Html":96,"tag":44,"attrs":97,"content":98},"This was not because they never disagreed. To the contrary, the Torah states, that Rebecca loved Jacob, while Isaac loved Esau. While Isaac wishes to bless Esau, Rebecca instructs Jacob to dress up like his brother and obtain the blessings for himself.[9] That could have easily resulted in a quarrel—but it did not.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":44,"attrs":100,"content":101},{},[102],{"Html":103,"tag":49,"attrs":104,"content":105},"Dawn and Darkness",{},[],{"Html":107,"tag":44,"attrs":108,"content":109},"The Sages in the Talmud present a fascinating tradition about the three daily prayers in Judaism.[10] Abraham instituted the morning prayer, shacharis; Isaac instituted the afternoon prayer—mincha; and Jacob initiated the evening prayer, maariv.[11]",{},[],{"Html":111,"tag":44,"attrs":112,"content":113},"The Talmud derives this from the biblical verses. But what is the thematic connection between our three forefathers and these particular prayers? And why do we have three daily prayers? (Mohammed instituted five daily prayers for Muslims, mimicking our Yom Kippur model; yet on a daily basis we have three.)",{},[],{"Html":115,"tag":44,"attrs":116,"content":117},"Morning brings with it a fresh and exhilarating energy. As a new day emerges, we have this sense (at least till we check our phone) that new possibilities are beaconing upon us. As the first rays of light cast their glow on our horizon, a new dawn also triggers our imagination. Morning brings with it new frontiers to conquer and fresh glimmers of hope.[12] One of the great spiritual masters, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812) writes, that when a person awakes, he or she feels instinctively a sense of happiness and promise.[13] Dawn is when G-d presses the restart button.",{},[],{"Html":119,"tag":44,"attrs":120,"content":121},"This is the story of Abraham. He embodied the morning of Judaism, bringing the dawn of a new era to earth. He opened humanity to a new reality, a new vision of earth. He heralded a novel message. The world is not a hopeless jungle; it is a Divine palace. We are not an insignificant speck of dust on the surface of infinity; we matter. Humanity is not a helpless folk subjected to the whims of competing gods, but part of a single narrative, united in the image of a moral and loving Creator. Abraham taught that there was purpose in history and meaning in life.",{},[],{"Html":123,"tag":44,"attrs":124,"content":125},"Who was Abraham? \"Abraham woke up early in the morning to the place where he stood previously,\" the Torah states.[14] Then again, when he is instructed to bring his son to Mt. Moriah, \"Abraham woke up in the morning.\" The Torah rarely presents the details of daily life, unless they convey an important theme. Following a long and dark night, Abraham ushers in the morning for civilization.[15] Abraham instituted the morning (shacharis) prayer, topping into the unique spiritual energy of daybreak, when you stretch out your arms and embrace a new day.",{},[],{"Html":127,"tag":44,"attrs":128,"content":129},"Jacob, in contrast, embodies the night of Judaism. The kingdom of night is full of mystique, solitude, darkness, drama, and romance. Jacob’s life is riddled with darkness, uncertainty, loneliness, and struggle, fraught with drama and mystery. Already emerging from the womb he struggles with his twin brother; later he wrestles with a mysterious adversary, and in the process he receives a new name, Israel, which means struggling with G-d. In the words of the prophet Isaiah:[16] \"Why do you say, O Jacob, why declare, O Israel, ‘My way is hidden from the Lord, my cause is ignored by my G-d’\"?",{},[],{"Html":131,"tag":44,"attrs":132,"content":133},"No personality in the Torah is so connected with night as Jacob. In the middle of the night, the Torah relates, \"Jacob remained alone, and a man fought with him till dawn broke.\"[17] Jacob tells his father-in-law Laban: \"Twenty years I have been with you… scorching heat ravaged me by day, and frost by night; sleep eluded my eyes.\"[18] Jacob, says the Torah, \"came upon a certain place and stopped there for the night, for the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of that place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place.\"[19] He then dreams of a \"ladder standing on the ground, but its top reaches heaven.\"[20]",{},[],{"Html":135,"tag":44,"attrs":136,"content":137},"Jacob taught the Jewish people and the world how to encounter the Divine during the turbulence and obscurity of night. \"And Jacob woke up from his sleep and he said, ‘Indeed! G-d is present in this space, even if I did not know it.’\"[21] Jacob feels the presence of G-d even in a space of darkness and adversity, even if his brain can’t always figure out how. Jacob created the evening prayer—the connection to G-d amidst the mystery and drama of nightfall. As the sun set again and yet again in his life, he traveled internally to discover the source of light from within.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":44,"attrs":139,"content":140},{},[141],{"Html":142,"tag":49,"attrs":143,"content":144},"The Monotony of Afternoons",{},[],{"Html":146,"tag":44,"attrs":147,"content":148},"How about the vibe of the afternoon? Smack in the middle of a long and arduous day, lacking the freshness of the morning and the mystery of night, afternoons are often characterized by monotony. The day in the office is dragging on, and I am drained. If I am lucky enough to be a house mom or dad, the afternoon comes with its own stress: The children are returning from school, dinner is not made, the house is a mess, and I am tired; it’s been a long day.",{},[],{"Html":150,"tag":44,"attrs":151,"content":152},"What is the energy that beacons to us during those dull afternoons? What is the spiritual heartbeat of the flat hours in the day, when I’m just waiting to go home?",{},[],{"Html":154,"tag":44,"attrs":155,"content":156},"It is the story of Isaac.",{},[],{"Html":158,"tag":44,"attrs":159,"content":160},"Isaac’s life was—superficially speaking—not as colorful as his father’s or son’s life. Unlike his father Abraham he did not wage and win wars, nor did he did not travel extensively and change the vocabulary of humanity.[22] He was never a world celebrity, titled by the Hittites as \"a prince of G-d.\"[23] He was not a founder of a new religion, or the progenitor of a new nation. He was not the \"revolutionary\" that his father was.",{},[],{"Html":162,"tag":44,"attrs":163,"content":164},"Nor did his life contain the drama of his son Jacob. Isaac did not flee his brother’s wrath; he did not fight in the middle of the night; he did not fall in love with Rachel, and then experience deceit; he did not lose his son to a wild animal only to discover 22 years later that his beloved child became the Prime Minister of the superpower of the time. He did not relocate his entire family to a new country at an old ripe age.",{},[],{"Html":166,"tag":44,"attrs":167,"content":168},"Isaac lived in one location, and he never left it. His was more of a simple life. The only thing the Torah tells us about his vocation is that he grew grain and dug many a well.[24] Isaac represents the long[25] and seemingly tedious \"afternoon\" of Jewish history.",{},[],{"Html":170,"tag":44,"attrs":171,"content":172},"Therein lies his singular uniqueness.",{},[],{"Html":174,"tag":44,"attrs":175,"content":176},"Isaac’s life might seemingly lack the grandeur, excitement, challenge, and mystique of Abraham and Jacob, yet he embodies the essence and foundation of Judaism: The daily consistent and unwavering commitment to G-d and His work. Abraham was a revolutionary; he cast a new light on the world, but it was Isaac who created the vessels to contain and internalize the light. Isaac dug the wells of Judaism: he went deeply into himself and the world around him and revealed the subterranean living wellsprings of faith and commitment, ensuring that the flow never ceases.",{},[],{"Html":178,"tag":44,"attrs":179,"content":180},"Isaac’s relative silence in the book of Genesis ought not to be confused with passivity; it was rather a silence that comes with internalization. Isaac knew that revolutions can last for a few decades, but if you do not create solid containers for the energy (represented by the wells in the ground) the energy will fade away.",{},[],{"Html":182,"tag":44,"attrs":183,"content":184},"Isaac at one point of his life lay on an altar, ready to become an offering for G-d. This became the hallmark of his life: He embodied absolute dedication and resilience, consistent, unwavering, and unbending.",{},[],{"Html":186,"tag":44,"attrs":187,"content":188},"Isaac is the founder of the afternoon prayer, the \"mincha\" of Judaism. \"And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at dusk,\" the Torah states in this week’s portion.[26] Isaac tapped into the spiritual energy of the \"afternoons\", showing us that a relationship with G-d does not consist only of the spontaneous exuberant morning inspiration, or of the drama and romance of the night. A relationship with G-d is expressed even more profoundly in the daily commitment and sacrifices we make for truth, love, goodness, and holiness. He bequeathed us with the internal resilience and strength to bring G-d into the dull and tedious journeys of life.",{},[],{"Html":190,"tag":44,"attrs":191,"content":192},"It is afternoon in your office. You need to respond to dozens of emails, catch the bank, return many a call, and still field a few annoying appointments. But you stand up to daven \"mincha,\" to connect with G-d. You are busy, stressed, and tired; yet you leave everything behind, and you take time out and try to break out of the routine to focus on truth, on G-d, on eternity. Here is where the power of Isaac lay, the still voice of dedication that never falters.[27]",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":44,"attrs":194,"content":195},{},[196],{"Html":197,"tag":49,"attrs":198,"content":199},"A Tale of Three Marriages",{},[],{"Html":201,"tag":44,"attrs":202,"content":203},"Marriage, too, has three components: the morning, the night—and the period of afternoon and dusk.",{},[],{"Html":205,"tag":44,"attrs":206,"content":207},"When we meet our soulmate, a new dawn overwhelms our heart’s horizon. We are overtaken by the newness and freshness of the experience. We are excited, inspired, full of hope of what our joined future might look like. This is the \"Abraham\" of marriage, the morning—shacharis— of a relationship.",{},[],{"Html":209,"tag":44,"attrs":210,"content":211},"Marriage also has those special moments of moonlight mystery and drama. The passion and electricity that comes from the unknown, from discovering the untold layers of depth in our spouse’s soul; the special awareness that is born from dealing with struggle and uncertainty. This is the \"Jacob\" element of marriage, the evening—\"maariv\"—of a relationship.",{},[],{"Html":213,"tag":44,"attrs":214,"content":215},"But then there is the \"mincha\" of marriage—the simple, unromantic, non-dramatic, commitment of two people to each other, during the boring and flat days of life. Two souls holding hands together through the vicissitudes of life, in difficult times, in serene times, in monotonous moments, and in thrilling moments. It is the loyalty and trust built over years of supporting each other, day by day, hour by hour, in buying tomatoes, taking the kid to the doctor, and fixing the leak in the basement.",{},[],{"Html":217,"tag":44,"attrs":218,"content":219},"This creates a unique type of love. There is the love born out of thrill, drama, and exhilaration. This is the love that precedes marriage. You fall in love with your new partner, you are swept off your feet by the sunrise in your life. But there is another type of love that is born out of the daily commitment and dedication to each other. This love can never be experienced before marriage, only afterward.",{},[],{"Html":221,"tag":44,"attrs":222,"content":223},"This was Isaac’s love. It’s the \"mincha\" love, the one that comes from an ongoing, consistent bond in the daily grind of life. It is why the Torah states: \"And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her.\" First Isaac marries her, and only then does he come to love her.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":44,"attrs":225,"content":226},{},[227],{"Html":228,"tag":49,"attrs":229,"content":230},"A Tale of Two Loves",{},[],{"Html":232,"tag":44,"attrs":233,"content":234},"What is the difference between the two loves?",{},[],{"Html":236,"tag":44,"attrs":237,"content":238},"In the first love, born out of the ecstasy of a new passionate relationship, the shorter we are married, the more the love; the longer we are married, the more difficult to love. As the thrill wanes, boredom sets in, and we sometimes grow disinterested. In the latter Isaac-type love, it is the reverse: the longer we are married, the deeper we grow in love. We don’t fall in love; we climb in love. The love becomes like a deep well, discovered in the depths of the earth, and its life-sustaining waters never cease to flow.",{},[],{"Html":240,"tag":44,"attrs":241,"content":242},"This is not a \"boring\" marriage. Rather, its intensity is profound and enduring, because it is contained and integrated into the facric of daily life, and into the experiences of two human beings confroting the full spectrum of our emotions and circumstances.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":44,"attrs":244,"content":245},{},[246],{"Html":247,"tag":49,"attrs":248,"content":249},"The first marriage described in Torah is the one of Isaac and Rebecca, in order to teach us one of the most important principles in marriage: Passion and romance are awesome, and we can all use a nice dose of them, but as our circumstances change, they can fade away. A marriage must be built on good judgment, sound reason, an appreciation of the inner, enduring qualities and values of the other person, and it must possess the enduring commitment of a couple to each other, day-in, day-out, in a bond of steadfast, and simple faithfulness and trust. It is the capacity to hold your boundaries while connecting to the other person as a mature adult.",{},[],{"Html":251,"tag":44,"attrs":252,"content":253},"This is the reason Jewish law insists on no physical relations before marriage. This ensures that the couple decides to get married not based on physical attraction alone, because this may change with time, but with an appreciation of the character traits, inner personality, and values of the other person, for these will not change. Often, when men or women get physically involved, they become intoxicated by the pleasure and their blind spots cause them to overlook crucial information that might come to the surface a few years down the line and sadly sever the connection.",{},[],{"Html":255,"tag":44,"attrs":256,"content":257},"Our culture knows, perhaps, how to pray \"shacharis\" and \"maariv.\" We desperately need the discover the enduring secret of \"mincha.\"",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":44,"attrs":259,"content":260},{},[261,266,270],{"Html":262,"tag":263,"attrs":264,"content":265},"Reposted from yeshiva.net","i",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":268,"content":269},"br",{},[],{"Html":271,"tag":272,"attrs":273,"content":274},"_______________","#text",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":44,"attrs":276,"content":277},{},[278,282,285,289,292,296,299,303,306,310,313,317,320,324,327,331,334,338,341,345,348,352,355,359,362,366,369,373,376,380,383,387,390,394,397,401,404,408,411,415,418,422,425,429,432,436,439,443,446,450,453,457,460,464,467],{"Html":279,"tag":272,"attrs":280,"content":281},"[1] Genesis 24:67",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":283,"content":284},{},[],{"Html":286,"tag":272,"attrs":287,"content":288},"[2] Ibid. 2:24",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":290,"content":291},{},[],{"Html":293,"tag":272,"attrs":294,"content":295},"[3] Genesis 16:2",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":297,"content":298},{},[],{"Html":300,"tag":272,"attrs":301,"content":302},"[4] Genesis chapter 21",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":304,"content":305},{},[],{"Html":307,"tag":272,"attrs":308,"content":309},"[5] Genesis 24:67",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":311,"content":312},{},[],{"Html":314,"tag":272,"attrs":315,"content":316},"[6] Ibid. 29:18",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":318,"content":319},{},[],{"Html":321,"tag":272,"attrs":322,"content":323},"[7] Ibid. 16:5",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":325,"content":326},{},[],{"Html":328,"tag":272,"attrs":329,"content":330},"[8] Ibid. 30:2",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":332,"content":333},{},[],{"Html":335,"tag":272,"attrs":336,"content":337},"[9] Ibid. 25:28, and chapter 27.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":339,"content":340},{},[],{"Html":342,"tag":272,"attrs":343,"content":344},"[10] Berachot 26b",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":346,"content":347},{},[],{"Html":349,"tag":272,"attrs":350,"content":351},"[11] See Talmud ibid. Rabbi Yossi son of Rabbi Chanina said: The prayers were instituted by the Patriarchs. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi says: The prayers were instituted to replace the daily sacrifices... It has been taught in accordance with Rabbi Yossi ben Chanina: Avraham instituted the morning prayer, as it says, \"Avraham got up early in the morning to the place where he had stood.\" Yitzchak instituted the afternoon prayer, as it says, \"Yitzchak went out to meditate in the field at dusk.\" Yaakov instituted the evening prayer, as it says, \"He encountered [vayifga] the place,\" and \"pegiah\" means prayer.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":353,"content":354},{},[],{"Html":356,"tag":272,"attrs":357,"content":358},"Rabbi Yitzchak Zaler, in his commentary Minchas Yitzchak to the Talmud ibid. adds a nice hint in their names: The second letter of our three forefathers are: ב' יצחק) 'צ' ,(אברהם)), and ע' (יעקב), alluding to the Hebrew terms: \"בוקר\" (morning), \"צהריים\" (afternoon), and \"ערב\" (evening). These correspond to the time of day at which each one instituted a different prayer.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":360,"content":361},{},[],{"Html":363,"tag":272,"attrs":364,"content":365},"[12] See Beis Yosef Orach Chaim Chapter 4: A man upon awakening in the morning is like a new creature, as it is written: \"The souls are new every morning.\" (Lamentations 3:23). Cf. Torah Or Lech Lecha Maamar Magen Avraham. Likkutei Torah Behaaloscha Maamar Miksha.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":367,"content":368},{},[],{"Html":370,"tag":272,"attrs":371,"content":372},"[13] Maamarei Admur Hazaken Haktzarim p. 553.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":374,"content":375},{},[],{"Html":377,"tag":272,"attrs":378,"content":379},"[14] Genesis 19: 27",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":381,"content":382},{},[],{"Html":384,"tag":272,"attrs":385,"content":386},"[15] See Ethics of the Fathers ch. 5",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":388,"content":389},{},[],{"Html":391,"tag":272,"attrs":392,"content":393},"[16] 40:27",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":395,"content":396},{},[],{"Html":398,"tag":272,"attrs":399,"content":400},"[17] Genesis 32:24",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":402,"content":403},{},[],{"Html":405,"tag":272,"attrs":406,"content":407},"[18] Ibid. 31:38;40",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":409,"content":410},{},[],{"Html":412,"tag":272,"attrs":413,"content":414},"[19] Gen 28:11",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":416,"content":417},{},[],{"Html":419,"tag":272,"attrs":420,"content":421},"[20] Ibid. 12",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":423,"content":424},{},[],{"Html":426,"tag":272,"attrs":427,"content":428},"[21] Genesis 28:16",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":430,"content":431},{},[],{"Html":433,"tag":272,"attrs":434,"content":435},"[22] See Rambam Laws of Avodah Zarah chapter 1. Rashi Genesis 24:7. Introduction of Meiri to Pirkei Avos.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":437,"content":438},{},[],{"Html":440,"tag":272,"attrs":441,"content":442},"[23] Genesis 23:6",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":444,"content":445},{},[],{"Html":447,"tag":272,"attrs":448,"content":449},"[24] Genesis chapter 26",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":451,"content":452},{},[],{"Html":454,"tag":272,"attrs":455,"content":456},"[25] He also lives longer than his father and child: 180, not 175 or 147.",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":458,"content":459},{},[],{"Html":461,"tag":272,"attrs":462,"content":463},"[26] Ibid. 24:63",{},[],{"Html":19,"tag":267,"attrs":465,"content":466},{},[],{"Html":468,"tag":272,"attrs":469,"content":470},"[27] See Talmud Berachos 6b: One should always be careful to pray the Mincha prayer for Elijah was only answered (when he prayed for a fire to come down and consume his sacrifice) during the Mincha prayer. Rabbi Moshe ibn Machir, in Seder Hayom, Page 32, explains: The prayer of Mincha deserves to be answered because it is a time when everyone is busy in their work and carried away with their doings and needs. Hence, when during such a time one instead runs after the needs of G-d and prays and beseeches before the Master of the world—thus recognizing his Master's greatness, while seeing himself only as a dedicated servant devoted to His service—it is appropriate to recognize this humble man who is careful with the word of G-d whom it is fit to look at him.",{},[],{"Html":472,"tag":40,"attrs":473,"content":476},"\n\n\n\n",{"id":474,"class":475},"z396inn"," ",[],"Judaism","Ex3lL7BFmqUFwftumTTZ3o","\u003Cdiv>\u003Cp>\u003Cstrong>Isaac and Rebecca\u003C/strong>\u003C/p>\u003Cp>The first marital ceremony described in the Torah is the one between Isaac and Rebecca, in this week’s portion, Chayei Sarah. It is also the first time the Torah depicts the love between a man and a woman: \"And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her.\"[1]\u003C/p>\u003Cp>In the beginning of Genesis, after creating the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, G-d says:[2] \"Therefore man should leave his father and mother and cleave (v’davak) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.\" Yet this implies primarily a physical relationship, as the verse concludes, \"they shall become one flesh.\" Love, on the other hand, is an intense emotional bond. It is mentioned for the first time not by Adam and Eve, not by Abraham and Sarah, but by Isaac and Rebecca.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Of course, Abraham and Sarah enjoyed a profoundly loving relationship. Married for many decades without children, they trailblazed together a new trail in history. They heeded the voice of G-d to leave behind their families and chart a new path to change the world. Sarah risked her life twice for Abraham when she maintained she was his sister, not his wife. Abraham refused to cohabit with her maid Hagar, but after she insisted that he does, \"Abraham heeded the voice of Sarai.\"[3] Abraham listened to Sarah’s advice to expel Ishmael from their home, even when he personally disagreed.[4]\u003C/p>\u003Cp>After Sarah’s death, one senses the depth of Abraham’s grief and his intricate negotiations to grant his wife her final honor by burying her in the cave where he too would one day be interred.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Yet the Torah’s first usage of the term love between spouses is reserved for Isaac and Rebecca: \"And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her.\"[5]\u003C/p>\u003Cp>What is unique about their marriage? And why is this sort of description never repeated in the Torah?\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Jacob loves Rachel, the Torah tells us.[6] But that’s before he married her: \"And Jacob Loved Rachel, and he said [to her father]: \"I will work for you for seven years for your youngest daughter Rachel.\" With Jacob and Rachel, the love precedes the marriage. With Isaac and Rebecca, the love follows the marriage. Why the difference?\u003C/p>\u003Cp>\u003Cstrong>No Friction\u003C/strong>\u003C/p>\u003Cp>What is more, with our other patriarchs and matriarchs we observe moments of tension (of course relative to their lofty and sacred stature). Sarah tells Abraham, \"I am angry at you.\"[7] Rachel too complains to Jacob about her childlessness; \"and Jacob became angry at Rachel, saying, ‘Am I in the place of G-d?\"[8]\u003C/p>\u003Cp>In contrast, between Isaac and Rebecca, no friction is ever recorded.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>This was not because they never disagreed. To the contrary, the Torah states, that Rebecca loved Jacob, while Isaac loved Esau. While Isaac wishes to bless Esau, Rebecca instructs Jacob to dress up like his brother and obtain the blessings for himself.[9] That could have easily resulted in a quarrel—but it did not.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>\u003Cstrong>Dawn and Darkness\u003C/strong>\u003C/p>\u003Cp>The Sages in the Talmud present a fascinating tradition about the three daily prayers in Judaism.[10] Abraham instituted the morning prayer, shacharis; Isaac instituted the afternoon prayer—mincha; and Jacob initiated the evening prayer, maariv.[11]\u003C/p>\u003Cp>The Talmud derives this from the biblical verses. But what is the thematic connection between our three forefathers and these particular prayers? And why do we have three daily prayers? (Mohammed instituted five daily prayers for Muslims, mimicking our Yom Kippur model; yet on a daily basis we have three.)\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Morning brings with it a fresh and exhilarating energy. As a new day emerges, we have this sense (at least till we check our phone) that new possibilities are beaconing upon us. As the first rays of light cast their glow on our horizon, a new dawn also triggers our imagination. Morning brings with it new frontiers to conquer and fresh glimmers of hope.[12] One of the great spiritual masters, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812) writes, that when a person awakes, he or she feels instinctively a sense of happiness and promise.[13] Dawn is when G-d presses the restart button.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>This is the story of Abraham. He embodied the morning of Judaism, bringing the dawn of a new era to earth. He opened humanity to a new reality, a new vision of earth. He heralded a novel message. The world is not a hopeless jungle; it is a Divine palace. We are not an insignificant speck of dust on the surface of infinity; we matter. Humanity is not a helpless folk subjected to the whims of competing gods, but part of a single narrative, united in the image of a moral and loving Creator. Abraham taught that there was purpose in history and meaning in life.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Who was Abraham? \"Abraham woke up early in the morning to the place where he stood previously,\" the Torah states.[14] Then again, when he is instructed to bring his son to Mt. Moriah, \"Abraham woke up in the morning.\" The Torah rarely presents the details of daily life, unless they convey an important theme. Following a long and dark night, Abraham ushers in the morning for civilization.[15] Abraham instituted the morning (shacharis) prayer, topping into the unique spiritual energy of daybreak, when you stretch out your arms and embrace a new day.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Jacob, in contrast, embodies the night of Judaism. The kingdom of night is full of mystique, solitude, darkness, drama, and romance. Jacob’s life is riddled with darkness, uncertainty, loneliness, and struggle, fraught with drama and mystery. Already emerging from the womb he struggles with his twin brother; later he wrestles with a mysterious adversary, and in the process he receives a new name, Israel, which means struggling with G-d. In the words of the prophet Isaiah:[16] \"Why do you say, O Jacob, why declare, O Israel, ‘My way is hidden from the Lord, my cause is ignored by my G-d’\"?\u003C/p>\u003Cp>No personality in the Torah is so connected with night as Jacob. In the middle of the night, the Torah relates, \"Jacob remained alone, and a man fought with him till dawn broke.\"[17] Jacob tells his father-in-law Laban: \"Twenty years I have been with you… scorching heat ravaged me by day, and frost by night; sleep eluded my eyes.\"[18] Jacob, says the Torah, \"came upon a certain place and stopped there for the night, for the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of that place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place.\"[19] He then dreams of a \"ladder standing on the ground, but its top reaches heaven.\"[20]\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Jacob taught the Jewish people and the world how to encounter the Divine during the turbulence and obscurity of night. \"And Jacob woke up from his sleep and he said, ‘Indeed! G-d is present in this space, even if I did not know it.’\"[21] Jacob feels the presence of G-d even in a space of darkness and adversity, even if his brain can’t always figure out how. Jacob created the evening prayer—the connection to G-d amidst the mystery and drama of nightfall. As the sun set again and yet again in his life, he traveled internally to discover the source of light from within.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>\u003Cstrong>The Monotony of Afternoons\u003C/strong>\u003C/p>\u003Cp>How about the vibe of the afternoon? Smack in the middle of a long and arduous day, lacking the freshness of the morning and the mystery of night, afternoons are often characterized by monotony. The day in the office is dragging on, and I am drained. If I am lucky enough to be a house mom or dad, the afternoon comes with its own stress: The children are returning from school, dinner is not made, the house is a mess, and I am tired; it’s been a long day.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>What is the energy that beacons to us during those dull afternoons? What is the spiritual heartbeat of the flat hours in the day, when I’m just waiting to go home?\u003C/p>\u003Cp>It is the story of Isaac.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Isaac’s life was—superficially speaking—not as colorful as his father’s or son’s life. Unlike his father Abraham he did not wage and win wars, nor did he did not travel extensively and change the vocabulary of humanity.[22] He was never a world celebrity, titled by the Hittites as \"a prince of G-d.\"[23] He was not a founder of a new religion, or the progenitor of a new nation. He was not the \"revolutionary\" that his father was.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Nor did his life contain the drama of his son Jacob. Isaac did not flee his brother’s wrath; he did not fight in the middle of the night; he did not fall in love with Rachel, and then experience deceit; he did not lose his son to a wild animal only to discover 22 years later that his beloved child became the Prime Minister of the superpower of the time. He did not relocate his entire family to a new country at an old ripe age.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Isaac lived in one location, and he never left it. His was more of a simple life. The only thing the Torah tells us about his vocation is that he grew grain and dug many a well.[24] Isaac represents the long[25] and seemingly tedious \"afternoon\" of Jewish history.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Therein lies his singular uniqueness.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Isaac’s life might seemingly lack the grandeur, excitement, challenge, and mystique of Abraham and Jacob, yet he embodies the essence and foundation of Judaism: The daily consistent and unwavering commitment to G-d and His work. Abraham was a revolutionary; he cast a new light on the world, but it was Isaac who created the vessels to contain and internalize the light. Isaac dug the wells of Judaism: he went deeply into himself and the world around him and revealed the subterranean living wellsprings of faith and commitment, ensuring that the flow never ceases.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Isaac’s relative silence in the book of Genesis ought not to be confused with passivity; it was rather a silence that comes with internalization. Isaac knew that revolutions can last for a few decades, but if you do not create solid containers for the energy (represented by the wells in the ground) the energy will fade away.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Isaac at one point of his life lay on an altar, ready to become an offering for G-d. This became the hallmark of his life: He embodied absolute dedication and resilience, consistent, unwavering, and unbending.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Isaac is the founder of the afternoon prayer, the \"mincha\" of Judaism. \"And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at dusk,\" the Torah states in this week’s portion.[26] Isaac tapped into the spiritual energy of the \"afternoons\", showing us that a relationship with G-d does not consist only of the spontaneous exuberant morning inspiration, or of the drama and romance of the night. A relationship with G-d is expressed even more profoundly in the daily commitment and sacrifices we make for truth, love, goodness, and holiness. He bequeathed us with the internal resilience and strength to bring G-d into the dull and tedious journeys of life.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>It is afternoon in your office. You need to respond to dozens of emails, catch the bank, return many a call, and still field a few annoying appointments. But you stand up to daven \"mincha,\" to connect with G-d. You are busy, stressed, and tired; yet you leave everything behind, and you take time out and try to break out of the routine to focus on truth, on G-d, on eternity. Here is where the power of Isaac lay, the still voice of dedication that never falters.[27]\u003C/p>\u003Cp>\u003Cstrong>A Tale of Three Marriages\u003C/strong>\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Marriage, too, has three components: the morning, the night—and the period of afternoon and dusk.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>When we meet our soulmate, a new dawn overwhelms our heart’s horizon. We are overtaken by the newness and freshness of the experience. We are excited, inspired, full of hope of what our joined future might look like. This is the \"Abraham\" of marriage, the morning—shacharis— of a relationship.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Marriage also has those special moments of moonlight mystery and drama. The passion and electricity that comes from the unknown, from discovering the untold layers of depth in our spouse’s soul; the special awareness that is born from dealing with struggle and uncertainty. This is the \"Jacob\" element of marriage, the evening—\"maariv\"—of a relationship.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>But then there is the \"mincha\" of marriage—the simple, unromantic, non-dramatic, commitment of two people to each other, during the boring and flat days of life. Two souls holding hands together through the vicissitudes of life, in difficult times, in serene times, in monotonous moments, and in thrilling moments. It is the loyalty and trust built over years of supporting each other, day by day, hour by hour, in buying tomatoes, taking the kid to the doctor, and fixing the leak in the basement.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>This creates a unique type of love. There is the love born out of thrill, drama, and exhilaration. This is the love that precedes marriage. You fall in love with your new partner, you are swept off your feet by the sunrise in your life. But there is another type of love that is born out of the daily commitment and dedication to each other. This love can never be experienced before marriage, only afterward.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>This was Isaac’s love. It’s the \"mincha\" love, the one that comes from an ongoing, consistent bond in the daily grind of life. It is why the Torah states: \"And Isaac took Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her.\" First Isaac marries her, and only then does he come to love her.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>\u003Cstrong>A Tale of Two Loves\u003C/strong>\u003C/p>\u003Cp>What is the difference between the two loves?\u003C/p>\u003Cp>In the first love, born out of the ecstasy of a new passionate relationship, the shorter we are married, the more the love; the longer we are married, the more difficult to love. As the thrill wanes, boredom sets in, and we sometimes grow disinterested. In the latter Isaac-type love, it is the reverse: the longer we are married, the deeper we grow in love. We don’t fall in love; we climb in love. The love becomes like a deep well, discovered in the depths of the earth, and its life-sustaining waters never cease to flow.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>This is not a \"boring\" marriage. Rather, its intensity is profound and enduring, because it is contained and integrated into the facric of daily life, and into the experiences of two human beings confroting the full spectrum of our emotions and circumstances.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>\u003Cstrong>The first marriage described in Torah is the one of Isaac and Rebecca, in order to teach us one of the most important principles in marriage: Passion and romance are awesome, and we can all use a nice dose of them, but as our circumstances change, they can fade away. A marriage must be built on good judgment, sound reason, an appreciation of the inner, enduring qualities and values of the other person, and it must possess the enduring commitment of a couple to each other, day-in, day-out, in a bond of steadfast, and simple faithfulness and trust. It is the capacity to hold your boundaries while connecting to the other person as a mature adult.\u003C/strong>\u003C/p>\u003Cp>This is the reason Jewish law insists on no physical relations before marriage. This ensures that the couple decides to get married not based on physical attraction alone, because this may change with time, but with an appreciation of the character traits, inner personality, and values of the other person, for these will not change. Often, when men or women get physically involved, they become intoxicated by the pleasure and their blind spots cause them to overlook crucial information that might come to the surface a few years down the line and sadly sever the connection.\u003C/p>\u003Cp>Our culture knows, perhaps, how to pray \"shacharis\" and \"maariv.\" We desperately need the discover the enduring secret of \"mincha.\"\u003C/p>\u003Cp>\u003Ci>Reposted from yeshiva.net\u003C/i>\u003Cbr>_______________\u003C/p>\u003Cp>[1] Genesis 24:67\u003Cbr>[2] Ibid. 2:24\u003Cbr>[3] Genesis 16:2\u003Cbr>[4] Genesis chapter 21\u003Cbr>[5] Genesis 24:67\u003Cbr>[6] Ibid. 29:18\u003Cbr>[7] Ibid. 16:5\u003Cbr>[8] Ibid. 30:2\u003Cbr>[9] Ibid. 25:28, and chapter 27.\u003Cbr>[10] Berachot 26b\u003Cbr>[11] See Talmud ibid. Rabbi Yossi son of Rabbi Chanina said: The prayers were instituted by the Patriarchs. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi says: The prayers were instituted to replace the daily sacrifices... It has been taught in accordance with Rabbi Yossi ben Chanina: Avraham instituted the morning prayer, as it says, \"Avraham got up early in the morning to the place where he had stood.\" Yitzchak instituted the afternoon prayer, as it says, \"Yitzchak went out to meditate in the field at dusk.\" Yaakov instituted the evening prayer, as it says, \"He encountered [vayifga] the place,\" and \"pegiah\" means prayer.\u003Cbr>Rabbi Yitzchak Zaler, in his commentary Minchas Yitzchak to the Talmud ibid. adds a nice hint in their names: The second letter of our three forefathers are: ב' יצחק) 'צ' ,(אברהם)), and ע' (יעקב), alluding to the Hebrew terms: \"בוקר\" (morning), \"צהריים\" (afternoon), and \"ערב\" (evening). These correspond to the time of day at which each one instituted a different prayer.\u003Cbr>[12] See Beis Yosef Orach Chaim Chapter 4: A man upon awakening in the morning is like a new creature, as it is written: \"The souls are new every morning.\" (Lamentations 3:23). Cf. Torah Or Lech Lecha Maamar Magen Avraham. Likkutei Torah Behaaloscha Maamar Miksha.\u003Cbr>[13] Maamarei Admur Hazaken Haktzarim p. 553.\u003Cbr>[14] Genesis 19: 27\u003Cbr>[15] See Ethics of the Fathers ch. 5\u003Cbr>[16] 40:27\u003Cbr>[17] Genesis 32:24\u003Cbr>[18] Ibid. 31:38;40\u003Cbr>[19] Gen 28:11\u003Cbr>[20] Ibid. 12\u003Cbr>[21] Genesis 28:16\u003Cbr>[22] See Rambam Laws of Avodah Zarah chapter 1. Rashi Genesis 24:7. Introduction of Meiri to Pirkei Avos.\u003Cbr>[23] Genesis 23:6\u003Cbr>[24] Genesis chapter 26\u003Cbr>[25] He also lives longer than his father and child: 180, not 175 or 147.\u003Cbr>[26] Ibid. 24:63\u003Cbr>[27] See Talmud Berachos 6b: One should always be careful to pray the Mincha prayer for Elijah was only answered (when he prayed for a fire to come down and consume his sacrifice) during the Mincha prayer. Rabbi Moshe ibn Machir, in Seder Hayom, Page 32, explains: The prayer of Mincha deserves to be answered because it is a time when everyone is busy in their work and carried away with their doings and needs. Hence, when during such a time one instead runs after the needs of G-d and prays and beseeches before the Master of the world—thus recognizing his Master's greatness, while seeing himself only as a dedicated servant devoted to His service—it is appropriate to recognize this humble man who is careful with the word of G-d whom it is fit to look at him.\u003C/p>\u003C/div>\u003Cdiv id='z396inn' class=' ' >\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003C/div>",1,["Reactive",482],{"$snuxt-i18n-meta":483,"$s@nuxtjs/i18n:redirect":19},{},["Set"],["ShallowReactive",486],{"news399602":7},"/news/399602?ssr=1",["Reactive",489],{"news":490,"forum":500},{"articles":491,"tagsSections":492,"tagsSectionsMore":493,"articalsByCategory":494,"date":19,"ads":495,"flashes":496,"hpFlashes":497,"currentFlash":498,"page":11,"pic":7,"hp_f_last_update":7,"js_date":7,"VideoLinks":499},[],[],[],{},[],[],[],{"index":16,"isActive":13},[],{"date":7,"Users":501,"Forums":502,"Topics":503,"Messages":504,"Page":505,"ForumOptions":7,"ErrorModel":7,"rec":7,"tagsLinks":7,"pagebusy":480,"gui":506},{},{},{},{},[],{"post":11,"pagewait":11,"undo":7},1200]</script> <script>window.__NUXT__={};window.__NUXT__.config={public:{i18n:{baseUrl:"",defaultLocale:"he",defaultDirection:"rtl",strategy:"no_prefix",lazy:true,rootRedirect:"",routesNameSeparator:"___",defaultLocaleRouteNameSuffix:"default",skipSettingLocaleOnNavigate:true,differentDomains:true,trailingSlash:false,configLocales:[{code:"he",language:"he",dir:"rtl",name:"עברית",og_locale:"he_IL",ga:1,gtm:"GTM-PD4L7HT",domain:"www.inn.co.il",taboola:"hebrew",twitter:"@arutz7heb",title:"ערוץ ７ | חדשות ישראל",pushwoosh:"0E635-2E41D",gtag:"G-3VVVN8K9KK",prebid:"InnHB.co.il",files:["/var/docker/fe/locals/iw.json"]},{code:"en",language:"en",dir:"ltr",name:"English",og_locale:"en_US",ga:2,gtm:"GTM-TW7RBK",domain:"www.israelnationalnews.com",taboola:"english",twitter:"ArutzSheva_En",title:" Israel National News | Arutz Sheva",pushwoosh:"2CE9F-2C797",gtag:"G-2BGD8EDSDD",prebid:"adn.israelnationalnews",files:["/var/docker/fe/locals/en.json"]},{code:"ru",language:"ru",dir:"ltr",name:"Pусский",og_locale:"ru_RU",domain:"www.7kanal.co.il",taboola:"russia",twitter:"israel7ru",title:"7Kanal",pushwoosh:"",gtag:"",prebid:"adn.israelnationalnews",files:["/var/docker/fe/locals/ru.json"]}],locales:{he:{domain:"www.inn.co.il"},en:{domain:"www.israelnationalnews.com"},ru:{domain:"www.7kanal.co.il"}},detectBrowserLanguage:false,experimental:{localeDetector:"",switchLocalePathLinkSSR:false,autoImportTranslationFunctions:false,jsTsFormatResource:true},multiDomainLocales:false}},app:{baseURL:"/",buildId:"8cf58709-33a2-43f0-9a44-92582368a517",buildAssetsDir:"/_nuxt/",cdnURL:""}}</script></body></html>