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Series 2 subsection</span> </button> <ul id="toc-Series_2-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> <li id="toc-Episode_1_[2.1]" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Episode_1_[2.1]"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">1.1</span> <span>Episode 1 [2.1]</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Episode_1_[2.1]-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Episode_2_[2.2]" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Episode_2_[2.2]"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">1.2</span> <span>Episode 2 [2.2]</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Episode_2_[2.2]-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Episode_3_[2.3]" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Episode_3_[2.3]"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">1.3</span> <span>Episode 3 [2.3]</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Episode_3_[2.3]-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Episode_4_[2.4]" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Episode_4_[2.4]"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">1.4</span> <span>Episode 4 [2.4]</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Episode_4_[2.4]-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Episode_5_[2.5]" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Episode_5_[2.5]"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">1.5</span> <span>Episode 5 [2.5]</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Episode_5_[2.5]-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Episode_6_[2.6]" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Episode_6_[2.6]"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">1.6</span> <span>Episode 6 [2.6]</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Episode_6_[2.6]-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Episode_7_[2.7]" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Episode_7_[2.7]"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">1.7</span> <span>Episode 7 [2.7]</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Episode_7_[2.7]-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Episode_8_[2.8]" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-2"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Episode_8_[2.8]"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">1.8</span> <span>Episode 8 [2.8]</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Episode_8_[2.8]-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-The_Secret_Policeman's_Ball_Sketch" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-1 vector-toc-list-item-expanded"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#The_Secret_Policeman's_Ball_Sketch"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">2</span> <span>The Secret Policeman's Ball Sketch</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-The_Secret_Policeman's_Ball_Sketch-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-Misc_quotes" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-1 vector-toc-list-item-expanded"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#Misc_quotes"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">3</span> <span>Misc quotes</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-Misc_quotes-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> <li id="toc-External_links" class="vector-toc-list-item vector-toc-level-1 vector-toc-list-item-expanded"> <a class="vector-toc-link" href="#External_links"> <div class="vector-toc-text"> <span class="vector-toc-numb">4</span> <span>External links</span> </div> </a> <ul id="toc-External_links-sublist" class="vector-toc-list"> </ul> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </nav> </div> </div> <div class="mw-content-container"> <main id="content" class="mw-body"> <header class="mw-body-header vector-page-titlebar"> <nav aria-label="Contents" class="vector-toc-landmark"> <div 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data-pinnable-element-id="vector-appearance" data-pinned-container-id="vector-appearance-pinned-container" data-unpinned-container-id="vector-appearance-unpinned-container" > <div class="vector-pinnable-header-label">Appearance</div> <button class="vector-pinnable-header-toggle-button vector-pinnable-header-pin-button" data-event-name="pinnable-header.vector-appearance.pin">move to sidebar</button> <button class="vector-pinnable-header-toggle-button vector-pinnable-header-unpin-button" data-event-name="pinnable-header.vector-appearance.unpin">hide</button> </div> </div> </div> </nav> </div> </div> <div id="bodyContent" class="vector-body" aria-labelledby="firstHeading" data-mw-ve-target-container> <div class="vector-body-before-content"> <div class="mw-indicators"> </div> <div id="siteSub" class="noprint">From Wikiquote</div> </div> <div id="contentSub"><div id="mw-content-subtitle"></div></div> <div id="mw-content-text" class="mw-body-content"><div class="mw-content-ltr mw-parser-output" lang="en" dir="ltr"><dl><dd><i>For series 1 quotes, see <a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)" title="Green Wing (series 1)">Green Wing (series 1)</a>.</i></dd> <dd><i>For the Special quotes, see <a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_Special" title="Green Wing Special">Green Wing Special</a>.</i></dd></dl> <p><i><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Wing" class="extiw" title="w:Green Wing">Green Wing</a></b></i> (<a href="/wiki/2004" class="mw-disambig" title="2004">2004</a> – <a href="/wiki/2007" class="mw-disambig" title="2007">2007</a>) is a <a href="/wiki/UK" class="mw-redirect" title="UK">British</a> television comedy broadcast on Channel 4. The second series was shown between 31 March and 19 May 2006. The DVD of the second series is set to be released on 2 October time, with the Christmas Special coming out separate. Also, this contains <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_Policeman%27s_Ball_(2006)" class="extiw" title="w:The Secret Policeman's Ball (2006)">The Secret Policeman's Ball</a> Sketch. </p><p><br /> </p> <meta property="mw:PageProp/toc" /> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="Series_2">Series 2</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=1" title="Edit section: Series 2"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Episode_1_[2.1]"><span id="Episode_1_.5B2.1.5D"></span>Episode 1 [2.1]</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=2" title="Edit section: Episode 1 [2.1]"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <dl><dd><i>[Guy has brought a kitten in Mac’s room. He then takes out a gun and points it at the kitten.]</i></dd> <dd><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Secretan" class="extiw" title="w:Guy Secretan">Guy</a></b>: Wake up, or the kitty gets it. <i>[Pause, followed by the kitten meowing quietly, then he talks to the kitten.]</i> You said it would work.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caroline_Todd" class="extiw" title="w:Caroline Todd">Caroline</a></b>: Guy, did you take a cat and a gun into Mac’s ward?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: It was a replica.</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: <i>[Gasps]</i> You brought in a replica cat?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: <i>[slowly]</i> A replica gun.</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: You're trying to get fully reinstated, how stupid can you be?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Not stupid enough to ask whether or not someone has brought in a replica cat.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><i>Martin is puzzled about Guy's choice of lunch</i></dd> <dd><b>Martin</b>: You don't like curry.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: No. Ah, not usually, no. But it's <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramadan" class="extiw" title="w:Ramadan">Ramadan</a>! <i>[waves the curry under the noses of two nurses]</i> A time for fasting. Yum yum yum! Smells so good!</dd> <dd><b>Nurse</b>: We're Hindu, you nipple!</dd></dl> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Episode_2_[2.2]"><span id="Episode_2_.5B2.2.5D"></span>Episode 2 [2.2]</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=3" title="Edit section: Episode 2 [2.2]"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <dl><dd><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_Hunter" class="extiw" title="w:Angela Hunter">Angela</a></b>: Just tell him what happened.</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: He might not believe me. I’ve got no witnesses.</dd> <dd><b>Angela</b>: Well, if he knows his minds gone a bit…blurrg…so just tell him.</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: Oh right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi Mac, I’m er, I’m Caroline. You know, the one you found a bit irritating at first, but then er…well, the thing is you really, really liked me and now we’re kind of a couple. So, there you go, I’ve filled in all the gaps, let’s go to bed.</dd> <dd><b>Angela</b>: Well, maybe in not so many words.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><i>[At an internal tribunal.]</i></dd> <dd><b>Charles</b>: Isn’t there something else you’d like to say?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Err…I don’t think so?</dd> <dd><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sue_White" class="extiw" title="w:Sue White">Sue</a></b>: What’s the magic word?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Abracadabra?</dd> <dd><b>Charles</b>: How do you normally express your gratitude to somebody?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: You want a tip? Is that ethical?</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b>Caroline</b>: Look, we’re all back!</dd> <dd><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mac_(Green_Wing)" class="extiw" title="w:Mac (Green Wing)">Mac</a></b>: Yeah, but I don’t really remember who you are?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Well, as long you remember in what order to put the organs back in in.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: What an odd thing to say say. <i>[Mac has a scalpel in his hand, and starts waving it around.]</i> A one, a two, a one, two, three, four.</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: Yeah, I’m actually a little bit worried now.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Wuss.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Oooh…no! Not like that! Don’t hold it like that. Oh my God, the man’s a butcher. Be careful with that bit, that’s the bit they need to…eat asparagus. They won’t be able to eat asparagus if you cut that bit out.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><i>[Guy and Mac’s top five qualities in a woman, to Caroline.]</i></dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Five qualities, that’s easy. Number one, bendy.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Unpredictable.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Number two, shaved.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Must appreciate the genius of the Kinks.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Number three, slightly anorexic.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Thoughtful eyes.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Four, about sort of 5% lesbian.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Should be in touch with her masculine side.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: And finally, mustn’t be too smelly in the cellar.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Compassionate.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: <i>[Disgusted]</i> Ugh…So what you’ve come up with is an unpredictable, yet compassionate, slightly masculine, Kinks fan... with eyes?</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: I know. It’s an impossible dream.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: <i>[to Caroline as they leave]</i> In the cellar. Down below...</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Episode_3_[2.3]"><span id="Episode_3_.5B2.3.5D"></span>Episode 3 [2.3]</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=4" title="Edit section: Episode 3 [2.3]"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <dl><dd><i>[Harriet rushes into the office.]</i></dd> <dd><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harriet_Schulenburg" class="extiw" title="w:Harriet Schulenburg">Harriet</a></b>: Oh, sorry I’m late. The kids.</dd> <dd><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Alabaster" class="extiw" title="w:Kim Alabaster">Kim</a></b>: Took forever to get ready?</dd> <dd><b>Harriet</b>: Yeah, and the traffic.</dd> <dd><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naughty_Rachel" class="extiw" title="w:Naughty Rachel">Rachel</a></b>: Terrible?</dd> <dd><b>Harriet</b>: Wasn’t it. Then I had to stop off at… <i>[She opens her bag, and a cat comes out of it.]</i> Oh. Well who did I leave at the vets then?</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b>Caroline</b>: I’m just saying it’s a male dominated workplace.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Bollocks!</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: I’ve got a few other points you can prove for me if you like.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: It’s not male dominated, there are bloody women everywhere.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Hmm…crunching underfoot everywhere they walk.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Yeah. Have you ever paid for a woman to walk on you? I have. It’s pointless. Really hurts.</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: Wow, it’s like working with Germaine Greer.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joanna_Clore" class="extiw" title="w:Joanna Clore">Joanna</a></b>: Right, what have we got? Anything?</dd> <dd><b>Kim</b>: Oh wait, there’s a complaints file.</dd> <dd><b>Joanna</b>: I knew it! <i>[They open the file. A pop-up paper set of flowers comes up from the file. Both scream at the sight.]</i> Oh damn, she’s good.</dd></dl> <p><br /> </p> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b>Sue</b>: Do I look like a mug? Have I got a handle? Am I made of china? Am I kept in a cupboard or on a small wooden tree? Would you like to put your lips on my rim? You may answer that question, the others were rhetorical.</dd> <dd><b>Angela</b>: This is the chance of a lifetime. If it doesn’t happen now, it may never happen!</dd> <dd><b>Sue</b>: Are we still on the rim thing?</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><i>[Mac enters the gents'.]</i></dd> <dd><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Dear" class="extiw" title="w:Martin Dear">Martin</a></b>: <i>[O. O. V.]</i> Hi Mac.</dd> <dd><i>[Mac turns]</i></dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: OK, that is the worst "going to the toilet" I’ve ever seen.</dd> <dd><i>[The camera moves to show Martin stuck to the wall with parcel tape.]</i></dd> <dd><b>Martin</b>: Yeah, Guy said he’d be phoning the gays.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Which gays?</dd> <dd><b>Martin</b>: Well, all of them.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: The thing you have to understand about the gays, is that they're probably more scared of you, than you are of them.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Episode_4_[2.4]"><span id="Episode_4_.5B2.4.5D"></span>Episode 4 [2.4]</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=5" title="Edit section: Episode 4 [2.4]"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <dl><dd><b>Guy</b>: <i>[To Caroline]</i> You’ve got paperclips stuck to your hand.</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: Have I? <i>[Caroline lifts up her left hand. There are paperclips stuck to it.]</i> Oh, must be a full moon; my hand goes magnetic.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b>Caroline</b>: Swiss mouth, shut!</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><i>Caroline has reluctantly agreed to let Guy move into her spare room</i></dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: A <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/clog_(shoe)" class="extiw" title="w:clog (shoe)">sabot</a>, or sa-bot, was a kind of wooden clog worn by impoverished French workers, and as a protest against the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacquard_loom" class="extiw" title="w:Jacquard loom">Jacquard loom</a>-- which they thought would take away their jobs-- they'd throw their sabots-- or wooden clogs-- into the delicate machinery to destroy its workings, from which we get the modern word <i>sabotage</i>.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Yeah, alright. Now you've harshed my buzz, have you got a point?</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Well, if your plan to move in with Caroline is, in any way, an attempt to sabotage our relationship, I will hit you in the fucking face with a big wooden clog.</dd></dl> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Episode_5_[2.5]"><span id="Episode_5_.5B2.5.5D"></span>Episode 5 [2.5]</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=6" title="Edit section: Episode 5 [2.5]"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <dl><dd><i>[Mac and Caroline are ready to kiss]</i></dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Can you get a verruca on your penis?</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: I can’t, can you?</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Never tried, pretty good at most parlour games though.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: A friend of mine fell knob first into a foot bath at a swimming pool, he was wondering, that’s all. I’m not interrupting anything am I?</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Just the evolution of mankind.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Episode_6_[2.6]"><span id="Episode_6_.5B2.6.5D"></span>Episode 6 [2.6]</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=7" title="Edit section: Episode 6 [2.6]"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <dl><dd><b>Murrat</b>: You queen!</dd> <dd><b>Karen</b>: <i>(embarrassed smile)</i> No!</dd> <dd><b>Murrat</b>: Yes! <i>(indicates her hair)</i> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_May" class="extiw" title="w:Brian May">Brian May</a>! <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_(band)" class="extiw" title="w:Queen (band)">Queen</a>!</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b>Joanna</b>: You’ve kept notes! Tell me you haven’t written down what you’ve did to my cousin?</dd> <dd><b>Alan</b>: Not really.</dd> <dd><i>[Joanna takes Alan’s notebook and reads it herself.]</i></dd> <dd><b>Joanna</b>: “Damaged heron.” Somehow that’s worse.</dd> <dd><b>Alan</b>: Give it here.</dd> <dd><b>Joanna</b>: No, that’s going to the same place as my cousin.</dd> <dd><b>Alan</b>: Oh that’s terrific, where am I supposed to jot down my useful ideas?</dd> <dd><b>Joanna</b>: On your knob end? You wouldn’t need a huge amount of space will you? Oh here’s a useful idea for you, don’t kill dwarfs with herons.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Episode_7_[2.7]"><span id="Episode_7_.5B2.7.5D"></span>Episode 7 [2.7]</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=8" title="Edit section: Episode 7 [2.7]"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <dl><dd><i>[Sue is kissing the ventriloquist's dummy.]</i></dd> <dd><b>Sue</b>: Live, damn you, live!</dd> <dd><b>Dummy</b>: Fuck off! Save yourself for Dr. Macartney.</dd> <dd><b>Sue</b>: Yeah, I know you're right, you're right; but, Mac and Holly...what are we going to do?</dd> <dd><b>Dummy</b>: Destroy her!</dd> <dd><b>Sue</b>: Yes, good, how?</dd> <dd><b>Dummy</b>: Leave it to me.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b>Alan</b>: Let’s have sex.</dd> <dd><b>Joanna</b>: We have to keep away from each other!</dd> <dd><b>Alan</b>: Let’s have sex separately.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b>Mac</b>: I think my son's hair is dyed.</dd> <dd><b>Martin</b>: Oh, right. Well, have you checked to see whether his collar and cuffs match?</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Martin, he's four years old.</dd> <dd><b>Martin</b>: Yeah, I know.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: But if it is dyed, do you see what that means? Do you see what that implies?</dd> <dd><b>Martin</b>: Means he's probably quite vain about his appearance? Oh my God! He's gay!</dd></dl> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading3"><h3 id="Episode_8_[2.8]"><span id="Episode_8_.5B2.8.5D"></span>Episode 8 [2.8]</h3><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=9" title="Edit section: Episode 8 [2.8]"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <dl><dd><b>Guy</b>: <i>[As Caroline takes a towel and wipes the mirror without reading the message.]</i> No!</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: What?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: You spoilt it.</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: <i>[Brushing her teeth]</i> Spoilt what?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: The mirror, I'd written in it.</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: Really.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Yes.</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: Wrote what?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: It doesn’t matter now, but if you must know it was, 'I love you.'</dd> <dd><b>Caroline</b>: You bloody narcissist!</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b>Mac</b>: All I’m saying is that you’ll never be a one-woman man.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: That’s rubbish, I am.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Are you?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Yeah.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: What about that new blonde girl in ENT, nice or what?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Not interested.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Not interested?</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: No. No, I’ve changed.</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Oh great. What about Graham in dermatology</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: Changed as in, “I think I’m ready for commitment.”</dd> <dd><b>Mac</b>: Fantastic. I’ll sign your commitment papers for you today.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="The_Secret_Policeman's_Ball_Sketch"><span id="The_Secret_Policeman.27s_Ball_Sketch"></span>The Secret Policeman's Ball Sketch</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=10" title="Edit section: The Secret Policeman's Ball Sketch"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <dl><dd><b>Mac</b>: You look a bit like a fairy.</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: <i>[Points to Mac and Sue]</i> Pot, kettle. Kettle, pot. That's the introductions out of the way.</dd> <dd><b>Sue</b>: Really? Who's this, then? <i>[Get up off the gurney and talks to the patient]</i> Oh, no, you don't, little lady. Uh-huh. Think we might've met before. Come on, up you pop. Off your trolley!</dd> <dd><b>Guy</b>: <i>[Points to Sue and the patient]</i> Pot, kettle. Kettle, pot.</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="Misc_quotes">Misc quotes</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=11" title="Edit section: Misc quotes"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <dl><dd><b>Joanna</b>: “Criminals always get caught in the end, don’t you watch TV?”</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <dl><dd><b>Boyce</b>: <i>[To Martin, after he denies he offered a ride on his motorbike to a prostitute.]</i> "Well, there was someone straddling you mate, maybe you should check your rear-view mirrors more."</dd></dl> <hr width="50%" /> <div class="mw-heading mw-heading2"><h2 id="External_links">External links</h2><span class="mw-editsection"><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">[</span><a href="/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&action=edit&section=12" title="Edit section: External links"><span>edit</span></a><span class="mw-editsection-bracket">]</span></span></div> <div class="noprint" style="clear: right; border: solid #aaa 1px; margin: 0 0 1em 1em; font-size: 90%; background: #f9f9f9; width: 250px; padding: 4px; spacing: 0px; text-align: left; float: right;"> <div style="float: left;"><figure class="mw-halign-none" typeof="mw:File"><a href="/wiki/File:Wikipedia-logo-v2.svg" class="mw-file-description" title="Wikipedia"><img alt="Wikipedia" src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/80/Wikipedia-logo-v2.svg/50px-Wikipedia-logo-v2.svg.png" decoding="async" width="50" height="46" class="mw-file-element" srcset="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/80/Wikipedia-logo-v2.svg/75px-Wikipedia-logo-v2.svg.png 1.5x, //upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/80/Wikipedia-logo-v2.svg/100px-Wikipedia-logo-v2.svg.png 2x" data-file-width="103" data-file-height="94" /></a><figcaption>Wikipedia</figcaption></figure></div> <div style="margin-left: 60px;"><a href="/wiki/Wikipedia" title="Wikipedia">Wikipedia</a> has an article about: <div style="margin-left: 10px;"><i><b><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_2)" class="extiw" title="wikipedia:Green Wing (series 2)">Green Wing (series 2)</a></b></i></div> </div> </div> <ul><li><a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0423661/quotes"><i>Green Wing</i></a> quotes at the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_Movie_Database" class="extiw" title="w:Internet Movie Database">Internet Movie Database</a></li> <li><a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/G/green_wing/">Green Wing "microsite"</a> at Channel4.com</li> <li><a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="http://www.sitcom.co.uk/green_wing/">British Sitcom Guide</a></li> <li><a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="http://www.searingidolatry.co.uk/greenwing/">Green Wing Fansite</a></li> <li><a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="http://www.kaiki.net/waxedowl/">Waxed Owl</a></li> <li><a rel="nofollow" class="external text" href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/___greenwing/">Green Wing LiveJournal Community</a></li></ul> <p><br /> <br clear="all" /> </p> <table align="center" class="toccolours" cellspacing="0" width="480"> <tbody><tr style="background:#ccccff" align="center"> <td align="center"><i><b><a href="/wiki/Green_Wing" class="mw-disambig" title="Green Wing">Green Wing Quotes</a></b></i> </td></tr> <tr> <td style="background:#ccccff" align="center"><b><a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)" title="Green Wing (series 1)">Series 1</a></b>: </td></tr> <tr> <td align="center" style="font-size: 90%;"><a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Caroline's_First_Day_.5B1.1.5D" title="Green Wing (series 1)"> Caroline's First Day</a> | <a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Rumours_.5B1.2.5D" title="Green Wing (series 1)"> Rumours</a> | <a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Lodgers_.5B1.3.5D" title="Green Wing (series 1)"> Lodgers</a> |<a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Joanna's_Birthday_.5B1.4.5D" title="Green Wing (series 1)"> Joanna's Birthday</a> |<a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Housewarming_Party_.5B1.5.5D" title="Green Wing (series 1)"> Housewarming Party</a> |<a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Tests_.5B1.6.5D" title="Green Wing (series 1)"> Tests</a> |<a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Tangled_Webs_.5B1.7.5D" title="Green Wing (series 1)"> Tangled Webs</a> | <a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Slave_Auction_.5B1.8.5D" title="Green Wing (series 1)"> Slave Auction</a> | <a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Emergency_.5B1.9.5D" title="Green Wing (series 1)"> Emergency</a> | <a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Comic_Relief_Sketches_(2005)" title="Green Wing (series 1)">Comic Relief Sketches (2005)</a> | <a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_(series_1)#Misc_Quotes" title="Green Wing (series 1)">Misc Quotes</a> </td></tr> <tr> <td style="background:#ccccff" align="center"><b><a class="mw-selflink selflink">Series 2</a></b>: </td></tr> <tr> <td align="center" style="font-size: 90%;"><a class="mw-selflink-fragment" href="#Episode_1_.5B2.1.5D"> Episode 1</a> | <a class="mw-selflink-fragment" href="#Episode_2_.5B2.2.5D"> Episode 2</a> |<a class="mw-selflink-fragment" href="#Episode_3_.5B2.3.5D"> Episode 3</a> |<a class="mw-selflink-fragment" href="#Episode_4_.5B2.4.5D"> Episode 4</a> |<a class="mw-selflink-fragment" href="#Episode_5_.5B2.5.5D"> Episode 5</a> |<a class="mw-selflink-fragment" href="#Episode_6_.5B2.6.5D"> Episode 6</a> |<a class="mw-selflink-fragment" href="#Episode_7_.5B2.7.5D"> Episode 7</a> | <a class="mw-selflink-fragment" href="#Episode_8_.5B2.8.5D"> Episode 8</a> | <a class="mw-selflink-fragment" href="#The_Secret_Policeman's_Ball_Sketch"> The Secret Policeman's Ball Sketch</a> | <a class="mw-selflink-fragment" href="#Misc_Quotes">Misc Quotes</a> </td></tr> <tr> <td style="background:#ccccff" align="center"><b><a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_Special" title="Green Wing Special">Special</a></b>: </td></tr> <tr> <td align="center" style="font-size: 90%;"><a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_Special#The_Special" title="Green Wing Special"> The Special</a> | <a href="/wiki/Green_Wing_Special#Alternative_Ending" title="Green Wing Special"> Alternative Ending</a> </td></tr> </tbody></table>    </div><noscript><img src="https://login.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAutoLogin/start?type=1x1" alt="" width="1" height="1" style="border: none; position: absolute;"></noscript> <div class="printfooter" data-nosnippet="">Retrieved from "<a dir="ltr" href="https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&oldid=3162354">https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Green_Wing_(series_2)&oldid=3162354</a>"</div></div> <div id="catlinks" class="catlinks" data-mw="interface"><div id="mw-normal-catlinks" class="mw-normal-catlinks"><a href="/wiki/Special:Categories" 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