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popupstory() { document.write("<div id='floatdiv' style='position:absolute; width:325px; height:220px; left:0px; top:0px; padding:0px; background-image:url(http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/full_story_popup.gif); border:0px solid #B1470D; z-index: 899;'><div style='height:25px;padding-top: 5px; color:#990000;'><div style='float:right; padding:4px;'><a href='#' style='cursor:hand;' onclick='return floatingMenu.hide()'><img src='https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/close.gif' style='border:none;' /></a></div></div><a href='https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631/http://www.magzter.com/IN/Delhi-Press/The-Caravan/News/' target='_blank' style='cursor:hand;'> <div style='height:190px;'></div></a></div>"); } </script> <script> $("#menu-2031-1").addClass("story-active"); $("#menu-2038-1").addClass("story-active"); </script><div class="subhheading"><a href="/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/reportage/indefinite-sentence-homophobia-aids-panic-1980">Love, homophobia and the AIDS panic in 1980s India.</a></div><div class="authorndate">By <a href="/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/profile/17946">SIDDHARTH DUBE</a> | <span class="date-display-single">1 October 2015</span></div><div class="full-image-view"><div class="show-image" style="display:block"><div class="f-image"><a rel="lightbox[lightbox_full_image][<br /><br /><a class="lb-credit"> </a>]" title="" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/lightbox_full_image/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-siddharth-dube_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_01.jpg"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631im_/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/story_carousel/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-siddharth-dube_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_01.jpg" alt="" title="" width="155" height="435" class="imagecache imagecache-story_carousel"/></a></div><div class="f-credit"></div><div class="f-caption"></div></div><div class="show-image-11239" style="display:none"><div class="f-image"><a rel="lightbox[lightbox_full_image][<br /><br /><a class="lb-credit"> </a>]" title="" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/lightbox_full_image/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-siddharth-dube_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_01.jpg"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631im_/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/story_carousel/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-siddharth-dube_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_01.jpg" alt="" title="" width="155" height="435" class="imagecache imagecache-story_carousel"/></a></div><div class="f-credit"></div><div class="f-caption"></div></div><div class="show-image-11241" style="display:none"><div class="f-image"><a rel="lightbox[lightbox_full_image][In 1989, Dominic D’Souza, a young gay man, was imprisoned in a deserted tuberculosis sanatorium by the Goa police when his HIV-positive status was discovered.<br /><br /><a class="lb-credit"> courtesy positive people</a>]" title="In 1989, Dominic D’Souza, a young gay man, was imprisoned in a deserted tuberculosis sanatorium by the Goa police when his HIV-positive status was discovered." href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/lightbox_full_image/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-positive-people_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_02.jpg"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631im_/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/story_carousel/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-positive-people_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_02.jpg" alt="" title="" width="639" height="435" class="imagecache imagecache-story_carousel"/></a></div><div class="f-credit">courtesy positive people</div><div class="f-caption">In 1989, Dominic D’Souza, a young gay man, was imprisoned in a deserted tuberculosis sanatorium by the Goa police when his HIV-positive status was discovered.</div></div><div class="show-image-11242" style="display:none"><div class="f-image"><a rel="lightbox[lightbox_full_image][The author, seated centre, as a college student in Delhi, where he returned to work for the Washington Post in the late 1980s.<br /><br /><a class="lb-credit"> courtesy siddharth dube</a>]" title="The author, seated centre, as a college student in Delhi, where he returned to work for the Washington Post in the late 1980s." href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/lightbox_full_image/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-siddharth-dube_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_04.jpg"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631im_/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/story_carousel/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-siddharth-dube_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_04.jpg" alt="" title="" width="657" height="435" class="imagecache imagecache-story_carousel"/></a></div><div class="f-credit">courtesy siddharth dube</div><div class="f-caption">The author, seated centre, as a college student in Delhi, where he returned to work for the Washington Post in the late 1980s.</div></div><div class="show-image-11243" style="display:none"><div class="f-image"><a rel="lightbox[lightbox_full_image][The microbiologist Suniti Solomon, (left) was the senior collaborator on research that led to the earliest detection of domestically contracted HIV in India.<br /><br /><a class="lb-credit"> yrg foundation</a>]" title="The microbiologist Suniti Solomon, (left) was the senior collaborator on research that led to the earliest detection of domestically contracted HIV in India." href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/lightbox_full_image/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-yrg-foundation_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_03.jpg"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631im_/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/story_carousel/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-yrg-foundation_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_03.jpg" alt="" title="" width="649" height="435" class="imagecache imagecache-story_carousel"/></a></div><div class="f-credit">yrg foundation</div><div class="f-caption">The microbiologist Suniti Solomon, (left) was the senior collaborator on research that led to the earliest detection of domestically contracted HIV in India.</div></div><div class="show-image-11244" style="display:none"><div class="f-image"><a rel="lightbox[lightbox_full_image][The journalist who challenged the imprisonment of HIV-positive women in Chennai, Shyamala Natraj, (left) remembered the “anguish” of Selvi in detention<br /><br /><a class="lb-credit"> courtesy siddharth dube</a>]" title="The journalist who challenged the imprisonment of HIV-positive women in Chennai, Shyamala Natraj, (left) remembered the “anguish” of Selvi in detention" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/lightbox_full_image/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-siddharth-dube_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_05.jpg"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631im_/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/sites/default/files/imagecache/story_carousel/an-indefinite-sentence_courtesy-siddharth-dube_the-caravan-magazine_october-2015_05.jpg" alt="" title="" width="598" height="435" class="imagecache imagecache-story_carousel"/></a></div><div class="f-credit">courtesy siddharth dube</div><div class="f-caption">The journalist who challenged the imprisonment of HIV-positive women in Chennai, Shyamala Natraj, (left) remembered the “anguish” of Selvi in detention</div></div></div><div class="thumb-image-view numeric-list"><a href="javascript:loadmain(11239)">1</a><a href="javascript:loadmain(11241)">2</a><a href="javascript:loadmain(11242)">3</a><a href="javascript:loadmain(11243)">4</a><a href="javascript:loadmain(11244)">5</a></div> <div class="share-with"> <span class="st_facebook_hcount" displaytext="Facebook"></span> <span class="st_twitter_hcount" displaytext="Tweet"></span>  <script type="text/javascript" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631js_/https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script>  <g:plusone href="http://www.caravanmagazine.in/reportage/indefinite-sentence-homophobia-aids-panic-1980"></g:plusone> <div class="print-email"><a href="/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/print/5711">Print</a>|<a href="/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/printmail/5711">E-Mail</a>|</div><div class="single-paged">Single Page</div></div> <script type="text/javascript">var switchTo5x=false;</script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631js_/http://w.sharethis.com/button/buttons.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript">stLight.options({publisher:'8014eb0d-feae-4f08-9056-b8b78a153569'});</script> <div class="fullpage-body"><div class="detailBody"><div class="view view-story-page-views view-id-story_page_views view-display-id-block_1 view-dom-id-1"> <div class="view-content"> <div class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first views-row-last"> <div class="views-field-body"> <div class="field-content"><p>I was 26 years old in 1988, living in Delhi, where I had recently moved after several years as a graduate student in the United States. I was a stringer for the <em>Washington Post</em>, living in a rented apartment in Jor Bagh with my partner, Tandavan, a Frenchman of Tamil and Vietnamese descent in his mid-thirties. We had met by lucky accident one morning outside the nearby Lodi Gardens, and fallen in love instantly.</p> <p>Tandavan was my first boyfriend. Until we began to live together, I had feared that gay men and women everywhere were doomed to living lives without lasting romantic love. Societies, it seemed, permitted only heterosexuals to have fulfilling, steady relationships; and they were, for the most part, bitterly opposed to our partaking of this basic human joy.</p> <p>Tandavan, a Bharatanatyam dancer with a gift for making everything sensually intense, had brought colour, music and hope into my life. Our one-bedroom apartment was always full of friends: Indian, French, and of innumerable other nationalities, crowding around for impromptu dinners. Yet, despite the unexpected joys of living together, there was no escaping the chronic sense of fear that came with being gay in the India of that era. By being together constantly—in our car, on the verandah of our flat, walking and biking together, going shopping—we drew the attention of some of our neighbours, as well as of the domestic help and private guards in the area. From their comments and stares, I realised that Tandavan and I were the subject of a lot of discussion, some of it patently suspicious and unfriendly.</p> <p> </p> <p><span style="color:#666666;">(Subscribe to <em>The Caravan</em> to read the full story. <u><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/digital-subscriptions">Click here</a></u> for a digital subscription or email subscription@delhipress.in for a print subscription.)</span></p> <div>  </div></div> </div> <div class="views-field-phpcode"> <span class="field-content"><div class="shortbioview"><p><strong>Siddharth Dube</strong> is a contributing editor at <em>The Caravan</em>. His memoir, <em>No One Else:<br/> A Personal History of Outlawed Love and Sex</em>, will be published next month.</p> </div></span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div></div><div class="detail-body"><div class="detailBody"><p>I was 26 years old in 1988, living in Delhi, where I had recently moved after several years as a graduate student in the United States. I was a stringer for the <em>Washington Post</em>, living in a rented apartment in Jor Bagh with my partner, Tandavan, a Frenchman of Tamil and Vietnamese descent in his mid-thirties. We had met by lucky accident one morning outside the nearby Lodi Gardens, and fallen in love instantly.</p> <p>Tandavan was my first boyfriend. Until we began to live together, I had feared that gay men and women everywhere were doomed to living lives without lasting romantic love. Societies, it seemed, permitted only heterosexuals to have fulfilling, steady relationships; and they were, for the most part, bitterly opposed to our partaking of this basic human joy.</p> <p>Tandavan, a Bharatanatyam dancer with a gift for making everything sensually intense, had brought colour, music and hope into my life. Our one-bedroom apartment was always full of friends: Indian, French, and of innumerable other nationalities, crowding around for impromptu dinners. Yet, despite the unexpected joys of living together, there was no escaping the chronic sense of fear that came with being gay in the India of that era. By being together constantly—in our car, on the verandah of our flat, walking and biking together, going shopping—we drew the attention of some of our neighbours, as well as of the domestic help and private guards in the area. From their comments and stares, I realised that Tandavan and I were the subject of a lot of discussion, some of it patently suspicious and unfriendly.</p> <p> </p> <p><span style="color:#666666;">(Subscribe to <em>The Caravan</em> to read the full story. <u><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/digital-subscriptions">Click here</a></u> for a digital subscription or email subscription@delhipress.in for a print subscription.)</span></p> <div>  </div> </div></div> <div class="shortbioview"><p><strong>Siddharth Dube</strong> is a contributing editor at <em>The Caravan</em>. His memoir, <em>No One Else:<br/> A Personal History of Outlawed Love and Sex</em>, will be published next month.</p> </div><div class="paging"></div> <div class="text-size-bottom"> <div class="views-as">View as</div><div class="single-paged">Single Page</div></div> <div class="story-tags"> <div class="story-block1"><div class="view view-story-related-tag view-id-story_related_tag view-display-id-block_1 view-dom-id-2"> <div class="view-header"> <h3 class="subject-heading">More From This Section</h3> </div> <div class="view-content"> <div class="views-row views-row-1 views-row-odd views-row-first"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a href="/web/20151011061631/http://www.caravanmagazine.in/reportage/supporting-star-manish-mundra">Supporting Star</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="views-row views-row-2 views-row-even"> <div class="views-field-title"> <span class="field-content"><a 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