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<!DOCTYPE html> <html lang="en"> <head> <title>CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA: Parents</title><script src="https://dtyry4ejybx0.cloudfront.net/js/cmp/cleanmediacmp.js?ver=0104" async="true"></script><script defer data-domain="newadvent.org" src="https://plausible.io/js/script.js"></script><link rel="canonical" href="https://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11478c.htm"> <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1"> <meta name="description" content="Considers the duties of parents toward their children, and vice versa"> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="RSS" href="http://feeds.newadvent.org/bestoftheweb?format=xml"><link rel="icon" href="../images/icon1.ico" type="image/x-icon"><link rel="shortcut icon" href="../images/icon1.ico" type="image/x-icon"><meta name="robots" content="noodp"><link type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" href="../utility/screen6.css" media="screen"></head> <body class="cathen" id="11478c.htm">  <br/> <div id="capitalcity"><table summary="Logo" cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 width="100%"><tr valign="bottom"><td align="left"><a href="../"><img height=36 width=153 border="0" alt="New Advent" src="../images/logo.gif"></a></td><td align="right"> <form id="searchbox_000299817191393086628:ifmbhlr-8x0" action="../utility/search.htm">  <input type="hidden" name="safe" value="active"> <input type="hidden" name="cx" value="000299817191393086628:ifmbhlr-8x0"/> <input type="hidden" name="cof" value="FORID:9"/>  <label for="searchQuery" id="searchQueryLabel">Search:</label> <input id="searchQuery" name="q" type="text" size="25" aria-labelledby="searchQueryLabel"/>  <label for="submitButton" id="submitButtonLabel" class="visually-hidden">Submit Search</label> <input id="submitButton" type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" aria-labelledby="submitButtonLabel"/> </form> <table summary="Spacer" cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0><tr><td height="2"></td></tr></table> <table summary="Tabs" cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0><tr> <td bgcolor="#ffffff"></td> <td class="tab"><a class="tab_color_on_beige" href="../"> Home </a></td> <td class="tab"><a class="tab_white_on_color" href="../cathen/index.html"> Encyclopedia </a></td> <td class="tab"><a class="tab_color_on_beige" href="../summa/index.html"> Summa </a></td> <td class="tab"><a class="tab_color_on_beige" href="../fathers/index.html"> Fathers </a></td> <td class="tab"><a class="tab_color_on_beige" href="../bible/gen001.htm"> Bible </a></td> <td class="tab"><a class="tab_color_on_beige" href="../library/index.html"> Library </a></td> </tr></table> </td> </tr></table><table summary="Alphabetical index" width="100%" cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0><tr><td class="bar_white_on_color"> <a href="../cathen/a.htm"> A </a><a href="../cathen/b.htm"> B </a><a href="../cathen/c.htm"> C </a><a href="../cathen/d.htm"> D </a><a href="../cathen/e.htm"> E </a><a href="../cathen/f.htm"> F </a><a href="../cathen/g.htm"> G </a><a href="../cathen/h.htm"> H </a><a href="../cathen/i.htm"> I </a><a href="../cathen/j.htm"> J </a><a href="../cathen/k.htm"> K </a><a href="../cathen/l.htm"> L </a><a href="../cathen/m.htm"> M </a><a href="../cathen/n.htm"> N </a><a href="../cathen/o.htm"> O </a><a href="../cathen/p.htm"> P </a><a href="../cathen/q.htm"> Q </a><a href="../cathen/r.htm"> R </a><a href="../cathen/s.htm"> S </a><a href="../cathen/t.htm"> T </a><a href="../cathen/u.htm"> U </a><a href="../cathen/v.htm"> V </a><a href="../cathen/w.htm"> W </a><a href="../cathen/x.htm"> X </a><a href="../cathen/y.htm"> Y </a><a href="../cathen/z.htm"> Z </a> </td></tr></table></div> <div id="mobilecity" style="text-align: center; "><a href="../"><img height=24 width=102 border="0" alt="New Advent" src="../images/logo.gif"></a></div>  <div id="mi5"><span class="breadcrumbs"><a href="../">Home</a> > <a href="../cathen">Catholic Encyclopedia</a> > <a href="../cathen/p.htm">P</a> > Parents</span></div> <div id="springfield2"> <div class='catholicadnet-728x90' id='cathen-728x90-top' style='display: flex; height: 100px; align-items: center; justify-content: center; '></div> <h1>Parents</h1> <p><em><a href="https://gumroad.com/l/na2"><strong>Please help support the mission of New Advent</strong> and get the full contents of this website as an instant download. Includes the Catholic Encyclopedia, Church Fathers, Summa, Bible and more  all for only $19.99...</a></em></p> <p>(<a href="../cathen/09019a.htm">Latin</a> <em>parere</em>, to beget)</p> <h2 id="section1">Duties of parents towards their children</h2> <p>In the old <a href="../cathen/11388a.htm">pagan</a> world, with due allowance for the operation of the <a href="../cathen/09076a.htm">natural law</a>, <a href="../cathen/09397a.htm">love</a> and reverence were replaced by authority and fear. The Roman <a href="../cathen/09053a.htm">jurisprudence</a> during a time at least exaggerated the paternal power to the point of ownership, but it did not emphasize any <a href="../cathen/05215a.htm">duties</a> that he had to perform. His dominion over his children was not less complete than that over his slaves. He possessed an undisputed right of life and death; he might sell them into slavery and dispose of any <a href="../cathen/12462a.htm">property</a> they had acquired. Compatible with this general <a href="../cathen/07630a.htm">idea</a>, abortion, <a href="../cathen/08001b.htm">infanticide</a>, and exposition were widespread. The <a href="../cathen/09053a.htm">laws</a> seemed to contemplate these crimes as venial offences and to have been largely inoperative in such cases.</p> <p>In consequence the filial observance implied in the ancient <em>pietas</em> could not always be translated as affection. This earlier condition was modified by decrees of the later emperors. <a href="../cathen/13743a.htm">Alexander Severus</a> distinguished the right of a father to put an adult child to death, whilst <a href="../cathen/05007b.htm">Diocletian</a> made it illegal for fathers to sell their children.</p> <div class="CMtag_300x250" style="display: flex; height: 300px; align-items: center; justify-content: center; "></div> <p>Under <a href="../cathen/03712a.htm">Christianity</a> parents were not merely the repositories of <a href="../cathen/13055c.htm">rights</a> and <a href="../cathen/05215a.htm">duties</a> whose affirmation nature demanded, but they were to be regarded as the representatives of <a href="../cathen/06608a.htm">God</a> Himself, from whom "all paternity is named", and found in this capacity the way to mingle <a href="../cathen/09397a.htm">love</a> and reverence, as well as the strongest motive for a cheerful obedience on the part of the children.</p> <p>The first <a href="../cathen/05215a.htm">duty</a> of parents towards their children is to <a href="../cathen/09397a.htm">love</a> them. Nature inculcates this clearly, and it is customary to describe parents who lack this affection as unnatural. Here the offence is against a distinct virtue which the <a href="../cathen/14580a.htm">theologians</a> call <em>pietas</em>, concerned with the demeanour reciprocally of parents and children. Hence the circumstance of this close relationship must be made known in confession when there is question of <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sins</a> of this sort. In the case of serious damage done by parents to their children, besides the <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a> against <a href="../cathen/08571c.htm">justice</a> there is contracted the quite different malice derived from this propinquity. This virtue, interpreting the precept of the <a href="../cathen/09076a.htm">natural law</a>, also requires parents diligently to care for the proper rearing of their children, that is, to provide for their bodily, <a href="../cathen/10321a.htm">mental</a>, and spiritual well-being. This is so even in the supposition that the children are <a href="../cathen/07650a.htm">illegitimate</a>. Parents are guilty of grievous <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a> who treat their children with such cruelty as to indicate that their conduct is inspired by <a href="../cathen/07149b.htm">hatred</a>, or who, with full intent, curse them or exhibit a notable and unreasonable preference for one child rather than another. Parents are bound to support their children in a manner commensurate with their social condition until these latter can support themselves. The mother is bound to do nothing to prejudice the life or proper development of her unborn infant, and after birth she must under pain of venial <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a> nurse it herself unless there is some adequate excuse.</p> <p>A father who is idle or unthrifty so that his <a href="../cathen/05782a.htm">family</a> is left without fitting maintenance is guilty of grievous <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a>. Parents must see that their children obtain at least an elementary <a href="../cathen/05295b.htm">education</a>. They are bound with special emphasis to watch over the spiritual welfare of their children, to afford them good example, and to correct the <a href="../cathen/05525a.htm">erring</a>. The teaching of the <a href="../cathen/03744a.htm">Church</a> is that the <a href="../cathen/13055c.htm">right</a> and <a href="../cathen/05215a.htm">duty</a> to <a href="../cathen/05295b.htm">educate</a> their own offspring abides natively and primarily with the parents. It is their most important task; indeed understood in its full sense it is ranked by no <a href="../cathen/11189a.htm">obligation</a>. In so far as it means instruction in the more elementary branches of <a href="../cathen/09580c.htm">human</a> <a href="../cathen/08673a.htm">knowledge</a> it is in most cases identical with the <a href="../cathen/11189a.htm">obligation</a> of bestowing care in the selection of a <a href="../cathen/13554b.htm">school</a> for the children.</p> <p>Hence, in general, parents may not with a safe <a href="../cathen/04268a.htm">conscience</a> send their children to non-Catholic <a href="../cathen/13554b.htm">schools</a>, whether these be sectarian or secularist. This statement admits of exception in the instance where there are grave reasons for permitting <a href="../cathen/03449a.htm">Catholic</a> children to frequent these <a href="../cathen/13554b.htm">schools</a>, and where such dangers as may exist for their <a href="../cathen/05752c.htm">faith</a> or <a href="../cathen/10559a.htm">morals</a> are by fitting means either neutralized or rendered remote. The judge in such cases, both of the sufficiency of the reasons alleged as well as of the kind of measure to be employed to encounter successfully whatever risks there are, is, in the <a href="../cathen/15156a.htm">United States</a> the <a href="../cathen/02581b.htm">bishop</a> of each <a href="../cathen/05001a.htm">diocese</a>. The attendance at non-Catholic <a href="../cathen/13554b.htm">schools</a> by <a href="../cathen/03449a.htm">Catholic</a> children is something which, for weighty motives and with due safeguards, can be tolerated, not approved. In any case parents must carefully provide for the child's religious instruction.</p> <p>As to higher <a href="../cathen/05295b.htm">education</a>, parents have a clear <a href="../cathen/05215a.htm">duty</a> to see that the <a href="../cathen/05752c.htm">faith</a> of their children is not imperilled by their going to non-Catholic <a href="../cathen/15188a.htm">universities</a> and colleges. In the lack of positive legislation before parents can assent to their children attending non-Catholic <a href="../cathen/15188a.htm">universities</a> or colleges there must be a commensurately grave cause, and such dangers as may threaten <a href="../cathen/05752c.htm">faith</a> or <a href="../cathen/10559a.htm">morals</a> are to be rendered remote by suitable remedies. The last-named requirement is obviously the more important. Failure to fall in with the first, provided that means had been taken faithfully to comply with the second, would not <a href="../cathen/11189a.htm">oblige</a> the confessor to refuse <a href="../cathen/01061a.htm">absolution</a> to such parents. There is an undoubted and under ordinary circumstances inalienable authority to be exercised by parents. The extent of this is a matter to be determined by positive law. In the instances in which it becomes <a href="../cathen/10733a.htm">necessary</a> to decide upon one of the parents rather than the other as custodian of the children, the rule of legal preference in the <a href="../cathen/15156a.htm">United States</a> is that the children are confided to the charge of the father. There is, however, a growing disposition to favour the mother. Parents have the <a href="../cathen/13055c.htm">right</a> to administer chastisement to delinquent children. Their omission to punish suitably may be a serious offense before <a href="../cathen/06608a.htm">God</a>.</p> <div class="CMtag_300x250" style="display: flex; height: 300px; align-items: center; justify-content: center; "></div> <h2 id="section2">Duties of children towards parents</h2> <p>Children have a threefold <a href="../cathen/11189a.htm">obligation</a> of <a href="../cathen/09397a.htm">love</a>, reverence, and obedience toward their parents. This is enjoined by the virtue which <a href="../cathen/14663b.htm">St. Thomas</a> calls <em>pietas</em>, and for which the nearest English equivalent phrase is "dutiful observance". As religion makes it <a href="../cathen/11189a.htm">obligatory</a> for us to worship <a href="../cathen/06608a.htm">God</a>, so there is a virtue distinct from all the others which inculcates the attitude we ought to hold towards parents, in so far as they in a secondary sense are the principles of our being and of its regulation. The violation of this <a href="../cathen/11189a.htm">obligation</a> therefore is reputed a grievous <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a> unless the smallness of the matter involved make the offence a venial one. Of the <a href="../cathen/11189a.htm">obligations</a> referred to, <a href="../cathen/09397a.htm">love</a> and reverence are in force during the parents' lifetime. Obedience ceases when the children pass from under the parental authority. The <a href="../cathen/05215a.htm">duty</a> of <a href="../cathen/09397a.htm">love</a> of parents, strongly intimated to the <a href="../cathen/04268a.htm">conscience</a> by the <a href="../cathen/09076a.htm">natural law</a>, is expressly emphasized by the <a href="../cathen/09071a.htm">positive law of God</a>. The Fourth Commandment, "Honour thy father and thy mother", is universally interpreted to mean not only respect and submission, but also the entertaining and manifestation of affection they deserve at the hands of their children.</p> <p>Those children are guilty of grievous <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a> who habitually exhibit towards their parents a heartless demeanour, or who fail to succour them in serious need, either bodily or spiritual, or who neglect to carry out the provisions of their last will and testament in so far as the amount devised will permit. It is not merely the external bearing which has to be governed. The inward sentiment of affection must be deep-seated. The <a href="../cathen/03712a.htm">Christian</a> concept of parents as being the delegates of <a href="../cathen/06608a.htm">God</a> carries with it the inference that they are to be treated with peculiar respect. Children incur the guilt of grievous <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a> who strike their parents, or even raise their hands to do so, or who give them well-founded reason for great sorrow. The same is to be said of those who put their parents in a violent rage, who curse them or revile them, or refuse to recognize them.</p> <p>Besides the parental relationship and dignity account is to be taken of their authority. Children, so long as they remain under its yoke, are bound to obey. This does not mean, according to the teaching of <a href="../cathen/14663b.htm">St. Thomas</a> (II-II, Q. civ, a. 2, ad l<sup>um</sup>), that they must intend to do what is commanded precisely because it is enjoined; it is enough that they be minded to do what is prescribed. This <a href="../cathen/11189a.htm">obligation</a> covers all those matters and those only which make for the proper rearing of the offspring. Parents have no power to order their children to do what is <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sinful</a>, nor can they impose upon them against their will any particular calling in life. <a href="../cathen/14580a.htm">Theologians</a> find their criterion for determining the grievousness of the <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a> of disobedience by scrutinizing the command given as well as the matter with which it is concerned. They say that the offence is then to be rated as mortal when the communication of the parental will takes the form of a real precept given in earnest and not merely a counsel or exhortation. They further require that this behest should have to with something important.</p> <p>There is no hard and fast rule to gauge the gravity of the matter in which an infraction of the <a href="../cathen/05215a.htm">duty</a> of obedience will become a mortal <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a>. <a href="../cathen/14601a.htm">Moralists</a> declare that this valuation must be made by the good sense of thoughtful <a href="../cathen/11726a.htm">persons</a>. They add that in general when an act of disobedience is calculated to work serious harm to the parents, or interfere seriously with domestic discipline, or put in jeopardy the temporal or spiritual welfare of the children themselves, it is to be accounted a mortal <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a>. When the thing for whose performance or omission the parent's command is issued is already binding under pain of grievous <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a>, either by the natural or positive law, the setting at naught of the parental injunction does not involve a distinct <a href="../cathen/14004b.htm">sin</a> of disobedience requiring a separate accusation in confession. The reason is that the motive of the command is assumed to remain the same in both cases. An example in point would be the defiance of an order given by a parent to a child to assist at Mass on Sunday, something which the latter is already bound to do.</p> <p>Children are released from parental control when they attain their majority, or are legally emancipated. In the <a href="../cathen/15156a.htm">United States</a> this latter may be done either by a written instrument or by means of certain facts which the statutes construe as sufficiently manifesting the consent of the parents.</p> <div class='catholicadnet-728x90' id='cathen-728x90-bottom' style='display: flex; height: 100px; align-items: center; justify-content: center; '></div> <div class="cenotes"><h2>Sources</h2><p class="cenotes">SLATER, <em>Manual of Moral Theology</em> (New York, 1908); LECKY, <em>History of European Morals</em> (New York, 1910); SPIRAGO, <em>The Catechism Explained</em> (New York, 1899); DEVAS, <em>Key to the World's Progress</em> (London, 1906); D'ANNIBALE, <em>Summula Theologiæ Moralis</em> (Rome, 1908); BALLERINI, <em>Opus Theologicum Morale</em> (Prato, 1899); Sr. THOMAS, <em>Summa Theologica</em>.</p></div> <div class="pub"><h2>About this page</h2><p id="apa"><strong>APA citation.</strong> <span id="apaauthor">Delany, J.</span> <span id="apayear">(1911).</span> <span id="apaarticle">Parents.</span> In <span id="apawork">The Catholic Encyclopedia.</span> <span id="apapublisher">New York: Robert Appleton Company.</span> <span id="apaurl">http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11478c.htm</span></p><p id="mla"><strong>MLA citation.</strong> <span id="mlaauthor">Delany, Joseph.</span> <span id="mlaarticle">"Parents."</span> <span id="mlawork">The Catholic Encyclopedia.</span> <span id="mlavolume">Vol. 11.</span> <span id="mlapublisher">New York: Robert Appleton Company,</span> <span id="mlayear">1911.</span> <span id="mlaurl"><http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11478c.htm>.</span></p><p id="transcription"><strong>Transcription.</strong> <span id="transcriber">This article was transcribed for New Advent by Douglas J. Potter.</span> <span id="dedication">Dedicated to the Immaculate Heart of the Blessed Virgin Mary.</span></p><p id="approbation"><strong>Ecclesiastical approbation.</strong> <span id="nihil"><em>Nihil Obstat.</em> February 1, 1911. Remy Lafort, S.T.D., Censor.</span> <span id="imprimatur"><em>Imprimatur.</em> +John Cardinal Farley, Archbishop of New York.</span></p><p id="contactus"><strong>Contact information.</strong> The editor of New Advent is Kevin Knight. My email address is webmaster <em>at</em> newadvent.org. Regrettably, I can't reply to every letter, but I greatly appreciate your feedback — especially notifications about typographical errors and inappropriate ads.</p></div> </div> <div id="ogdenville"><table summary="Bottom bar" width="100%" cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0><tr><td class="bar_white_on_color"><center><strong>Copyright © 2023 by <a href="../utility/contactus.htm">New Advent LLC</a>. 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