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<!doctype html> <html lang="en" data-reactroot=""><head><link as="script" href="https://www.afr.com/afx_prid/2023.10.16.1/auth/ps/p202310161.js?lcsid=D3377D70-045F-4C2C-B07F-C88533E87E67" rel="preload"/><script>var afx_start = Date.now();</script><script src="https://www.afr.com/afx_prid/2023.10.16.1/auth/ps/p202310161.js?lcsid=D3377D70-045F-4C2C-B07F-C88533E87E67"></script><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"/><meta content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" name="viewport"/><title data-rh="true">Online dating: Money and income questions are fair game when choosing a partner, Bumble research shows</title><link href="//api.ffx.io" rel="dns-prefetch"/><link href="//api.afr.com" rel="dns-prefetch"/><link href="//static.ffx.io" rel="dns-prefetch"/><link href="//www.googletagmanager.com" rel="dns-prefetch"/><link crossorigin="anonymous" href="https://adservice.google.com" rel="preconnect"/><link crossorigin="anonymous" href="https://buy-au.piano.io" 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type="application/ld+json">{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","item":{"@id":"https://www.afr.com/wealth","name":"Wealth"},"position":1},{"@type":"ListItem","item":{"@id":"https://www.afr.com/wealth/personal-finance","name":"Personal Finance"},"position":2}]}</script><ul class="_741f9bdccbe45c6b5797"><li class="_90b3125353b062c9f570" data-testid="breadcrumb-category"><a class="_3764f7449fdd83320b98" href="/wealth">Wealth</a></li><li class="_90b3125353b062c9f570" data-testid="breadcrumb-category"><a class="_3764f7449fdd83320b98" href="/wealth/personal-finance">Personal Finance</a></li><li class="_90b3125353b062c9f570" data-testid="breadcrumb-primary-tag"><a class="_3764f7449fdd83320b98" href="/topic/dating-jbx">Dating</a></li></ul><h1 class="_9e3416b7b144f0713cde">‘Let’s get together, double our income’: Money is the new dating trend</h1><p class="_954fa2ebef5f0392b2c8">Love can conquer most things, but can it overcome financial differences? Australia’s singles aren’t so sure.</p><figure class="c38fa68eeed3b426ef56 _6f6db0aa612a03c039e8" data-pb-type="im"><picture><source media="(min-width: 1180px)" width="2200" height="1238" srcSet="https://static.ffx.io/images/$zoom_0.5521%2C$multiply_2%2C$ratio_1.777778%2C$width_1059%2C$x_0%2C$y_0/t_crop_custom/c_scale%2Cw_1440/e_sharpen:30%2Cq_88%2Cf_auto/f21bb3efecaf0bb16fd8c544419a9ee1f61cf3c5, https://static.ffx.io/images/$zoom_0.5521%2C$multiply_2%2C$ratio_1.777778%2C$width_1059%2C$x_0%2C$y_0/t_crop_custom/c_scale%2Cw_2880/e_sharpen:30%2Cq_52%2Cf_auto/f21bb3efecaf0bb16fd8c544419a9ee1f61cf3c5 2x" data-pb-im-config="{"aspectRatio":1.777778,"type":"landscape16x9","width":2200,"urls":["https://static.ffx.io/images/$zoom_0.5521%2C$multiply_2%2C$ratio_1.777778%2C$width_1059%2C$x_0%2C$y_0/t_crop_custom/c_scale%2Cw_1440/e_sharpen:30%2Cq_88%2Cf_auto/f21bb3efecaf0bb16fd8c544419a9ee1f61cf3c5"," 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data-pb-im-config="{"aspectRatio":1.777778,"type":"landscape16x9","width":460,"urls":["https://static.ffx.io/images/$zoom_0.5521%2C$multiply_2%2C$ratio_1.777778%2C$width_1059%2C$x_0%2C$y_0/t_crop_custom/c_scale%2Cw_460%2Cq_88%2Cf_auto/f21bb3efecaf0bb16fd8c544419a9ee1f61cf3c5"," https://static.ffx.io/images/$zoom_0.5521%2C$multiply_2%2C$ratio_1.777778%2C$width_1059%2C$x_0%2C$y_0/t_crop_custom/c_scale%2Cw_920%2Cq_52%2Cf_auto/f21bb3efecaf0bb16fd8c544419a9ee1f61cf3c5 2x"]}" width="460" height="259"/></picture><figcaption class="_80bb118486236bcec2bc"><p>Can’t buy me love (or a house). <cite class="_3c0c5a31e2deab9fe7b5">Bethany Rae</cite></p></figcaption></figure></header><section class="ae754da393b38cf0f618"><div class="d5dfe5984973a371f244"><section class="_368ce47922cc50406182" id="endOfArticle"><section class="_79ac355651a627afaf4b"><div class="_0744a0c2b755cec1309d"><span class="_4daa2b7c6a2abbd8337c"><span class="bad9c5476c04fb14be3e" data-testid="AuthorNames"><strong><a 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8.4l-.143.583a.6.6 0 0 0 .726-.726zm-.85-.85c-.06-.207-.127-.434-.2-.665a15 15 0 0 0-.451-1.255c-.17-.398-.307-.626-.384-.702a1.123 1.123 0 0 0-1.588 1.587c.077.077.305.215.703.384.372.158.818.313 1.255.451.231.073.458.14.665.2" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg></span><span class="a8795dddfcb83ad715dd">Gift this article <div data-testid="Label-new" class="_3fbc02206dd8b1c74a7d">New</div></span></button><div class=""><div class="_97f224ea82c75c120440"><div class="_484bfbd8af6e9b38c490 _6dac7bb70d5d5d8a771b ba22c1812d2b27916259"><button class="_658fc1521f5561bd1c64" type="button" aria-label="Close"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 12 12" class="dd6db77aa2c85e94be85" focusable="false" height="10" aria-hidden="true" width="10"><g fill="none" fill-rule="evenodd" stroke="currentColor"><path d="M11.27.73 6.02 5.98.73 11.27M11.27 11.27 6.022 6.022.729.729"></path></g></svg></button><p class="_53c90ec3429d93c7f693" data-testid="Modal-title">Subscribe to gift this article</p><p class="_2b3ce025e5cbb6cec24c _4caa6be900319bfd3106" data-testid="Modal-description"><span>Gift 5 articles to anyone you choose each month when you subscribe.</span></p><a data-testid="Modal-subscribe-button" href="https://subscribe.afr.com/?promote_channel=HI_AGFT_GNL_GIFTCTA&utm_source=ArticleGifting&utm_medium=HouseInventory&utm_campaign=General&utm_content=GiftCTA" class="f6dfc6f770f1c16f22f5">Subscribe now</a><p class="_1c7a5940e3812685c336">Already a subscriber? <button data-testid="Modal-login-button" type="button">Login</button></p></div></div></div></div></div></section></section><p>“So … what’s your after-tax income?”</p><p>A sexy question this is not, but 34 per cent of Australian singles surveyed by dating app Bumble believe questions about a potential partner’s financial status are fair game early on in a relationship, and 55 per cent consider it appropriate to talk about money within the first six months of dating.</p><div 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data-srcset="https://static.ffx.io/images/$width_140%2C$height_140/t_crop_fill%2Cq_auto:best%2Cfl_any_format/06f670bbb24b48c3480e9113c264331faf28a881, https://static.ffx.io/images/$width_280%2C$height_280/t_crop_fill%2Cq_auto:best%2Cfl_any_format/06f670bbb24b48c3480e9113c264331faf28a881 2x" data-pb-im-config="{"urls":["https://static.ffx.io/images/$width_140%2C$height_140/t_crop_fill%2Cq_auto:best%2Cfl_any_format/06f670bbb24b48c3480e9113c264331faf28a881"," https://static.ffx.io/images/$width_280%2C$height_280/t_crop_fill%2Cq_auto:best%2Cfl_any_format/06f670bbb24b48c3480e9113c264331faf28a881 2x"],"width":140,"aspectRatio":1,"type":"square1x1"}"/><img alt="Lucy Dean" class="c101ad2e6ff325391dc3" data-testid="Image-image" src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" data-src="https://static.ffx.io/images/$width_140%2C$height_140/t_crop_fill%2Cq_auto:best%2Cfl_any_format/06f670bbb24b48c3480e9113c264331faf28a881" srcSet="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7, data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" data-srcset="https://static.ffx.io/images/$width_140%2C$height_140/t_crop_fill%2Cq_auto:best%2Cfl_any_format/06f670bbb24b48c3480e9113c264331faf28a881, https://static.ffx.io/images/$width_280%2C$height_280/t_crop_fill%2Cq_auto:best%2Cfl_any_format/06f670bbb24b48c3480e9113c264331faf28a881 2x" sizes="(max-width: 767px) 140px" data-id="06f670bbb24b48c3480e9113c264331faf28a881" data-pb-im-config="{"urls":["https://static.ffx.io/images/$width_140%2C$height_140/t_crop_fill%2Cq_auto:best%2Cfl_any_format/06f670bbb24b48c3480e9113c264331faf28a881"," https://static.ffx.io/images/$width_280%2C$height_280/t_crop_fill%2Cq_auto:best%2Cfl_any_format/06f670bbb24b48c3480e9113c264331faf28a881 2x"],"width":140,"aspectRatio":1,"type":"square1x1"}" width="140" height="140"/></picture></figure><span class="_1b861ab323f41ec0b7ca"><strong><a class="a189e4281d1ef17b0b4e" data-testid="AuthorURL" href="/by/lucy-dean-p5362x">Lucy Dean</a></strong></span><span class="_502fdc96c2c81588de6d">Wealth reporter</span><span class="_528a6daccc86ac482af4">Lucy Dean writes about wealth management, personal finance, lifestyle and leisure, based in The Australian Financial Review's Sydney newsroom.<span class="ebf04f7a6858148cabbd _1abef93fc6602c02bcb2" data-testid="Author-Social"><span> Connect with Lucy on <a class="_86e1121a0a44d2d45f97" href="//twitter.com/thelucydean?lang=en" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Twitter</a>.</span><span> Email Lucy at <a class="c5a5b7d2f686623f7687" href="mailto:l.dean@afr.com">l.dean@afr.com</a></span></span></span></div></div></section><section class="_7497db783171f2944740"><div class="baedd823df9dc15a6a9c c4db7906c9a3e4f5ad8d"><header class="_272e370d498d1cd0444a" data-testid="ContentUnitHeading-header"><h2 class="_21fa9dd40d4f27c475f6" data-pb-type="hi" 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Australia’s singles aren’t so sure.","allowComments":false,"body":"\u003Cp\u003E“So … what’s your after-tax income?”\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EA sexy question this is not, but 34 per cent of Australian singles surveyed by dating app Bumble believe questions about a potential partner’s financial status are fair game early on in a relationship, and 55 per cent consider it appropriate to talk about money within the first six months of dating.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EAnd while 82 per cent of singles say their partner’s income wouldn’t affect their relationship, that leaves 18 per cent who say it would.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EIt is part of a new trend to be more “cash candid” while dating, says Bumble, as single people respond to cost-of-living pressures and concerns about their ability to build wealth in a difficult housing market.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003ESince January 2020, the amount the average renter spends annually on a capital city unit has grown by $9600 and on a house to $14,700, according to analysis by housing group Everybody’s Home.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EIt’s cutting into \u003Cx-placeholder id=\"2926e91db4fe346d1437fb4984cb938f695fdb36\"\u003E\u003C\u002Fx-placeholder\u003E. In 2014, single buyers made up 26.2 per cent of the market, Ray White says. By 2023, they made up just 20 per cent of home loan applicants, broker group Lendi found. Single buyers today also need to earn more than their partnered counterparts, at a median income of $109,000, compared with partnered applicants’ $94,500 each.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EIt is all contributing to a dating environment in which people are casting a sharper eye over potential partners and the cost it takes to woo them, says researcher Lisa Portolan, whose PhD on dating apps and intimacy was published this year. Her book on the topic, \u003Cem\u003ETen Ways to Find Love … and How to Keep It, \u003C\u002Fem\u003Ewill be released in February.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E“At the moment there is a trend around, ‘Let’s get together and double our income,’” says Portolan. “It’s definitely a zeitgeist moment.”\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EOn Bumble, some 95 per cent of those surveyed globally said housing, finances, job security and the climate influence their dating decisions.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EOn TikTok, a video post by user Girl On Couch about “\u003Cx-placeholder id=\"e46504fe74cd9dfa40c774d7d1cffe8583507fc8\"\u003E\u003C\u002Fx-placeholder\u003E”, went viral in April this year. Fellow TikToker phlinmartin also went viral with a five-minute video complaining about the amount of frozen yoghurt his date served herself, and how he was left to pick up the tab.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Ch2\u003E‘They wouldn’t date someone who’s broke’\u003C\u002Fh2\u003E\u003Cp\u003EPortolan’s research found the financial considerations of entering a new partnership are more pronounced for people aged 30 and older.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThat is because they may have their own wealth entering a relationship and want to find someone with similar levels of assets and financial goals. Bumble found that 42 per cent of singles would only consider sharing a bank account once something like marriage or children was on the horizon.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E“They are very much looking to meet someone who has an equal amount of assets, and brings the same sort of thing to the picture,” Portolan says. “There might be discussions about having been burned in previous relationships with divorces … They wouldn’t consider dating someone who was, to put it bluntly, broke.”\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cx-placeholder id=\"7f748f079cc95a7b89353fd2fee003463ec2b008\"\u003E\u003C\u002Fx-placeholder\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThis has, in turn, triggered two changes in the way people date. The first is Australians opting for cheaper first dates such as coffees, walks or trips to the beach, while the second is people becoming more comfortable chatting about finances early on, the Bumble research found.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EDiscussing finances and goals early on can save time and help daters find people with similar values. But daters also need to beware that a focus on money doesn’t lead to a stressful or transactional dating mindset, says Bumble sexologist Chantelle Otten.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E“Focusing too much on these big questions early on can sometimes lead … people to feel like they’re interviewing a partner for a life plan rather than building a connection. It can also overshadow the fun and excitement that make dating enjoyable,” she says.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E“Balancing financial goals with open-mindedness comes down to honesty and communication – both with yourself and your dates. Be clear about what’s important to you financially, but don’t let it overshadow the process of getting to know someone.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E“It’s okay to have non-negotiables, like shared financial values, but leave room for flexibility and trust that these conversations can unfold over time.” \u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThe trick is to approach money discussions in a thoughtful, rather than interrogative way. That means asking questions such as “How do you like to plan for the future?” rather than asking specific money questions, Otten says.\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cp\u003E“The most important thing to remember is that dating should feel hopeful and enjoyable, even when you’re navigating big topics like finances or the future. It’s easy to get caught up in the stress of trying to tick all the boxes, but the real magic happens when you let yourself connect with someone for who they are – not just what they can offer.”\u003C\u002Fp\u003E\u003Cx-placeholder id=\"512d2dfb4e5b1d3805fc4dd07b81ec2b8b666866\"\u003E\u003C\u002Fx-placeholder\u003E\u003Cx-placeholder id=\"1d34018694b1caff9b455afb452ae2de7f2a459c\"\u003E\u003C\u002Fx-placeholder\u003E","bodyPlaceholders":{"1d34018694b1caff9b455afb452ae2de7f2a459c":{"data":{"id":"p5jhcy"},"type":"relatedStory"},"2926e91db4fe346d1437fb4984cb938f695fdb36":{"data":{"newTab":false,"noFollow":false,"text":"borrowers’ ability to save, with singles feeling this the most","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.afr.com\u002Fpolitics\u002Ffederal\u002Fliberal-mps-push-to-give-single-women-early-access-to-super-20241011-p5kho4"},"type":"linkExternal"},"512d2dfb4e5b1d3805fc4dd07b81ec2b8b666866":{"data":{"id":"p5kh81"},"type":"relatedStory"},"7f748f079cc95a7b89353fd2fee003463ec2b008":{"data":{"altText":"","animated":false,"aspect":0.666667,"autoCrop":false,"caption":"Sexologist Chantelle Otten.","credit":" ","cropWidth":378,"fileName":"063a10f222ca0be156dae3025b34980b7202ff0f","id":"063a10f222ca0be156dae3025b34980b7202ff0f","mimeType":"image\u002Fjpeg","offsetX":322,"offsetY":499,"originalHeight":null,"originalWidth":2542,"source":"Supplied","zoom":0.368},"type":"image"},"e46504fe74cd9dfa40c774d7d1cffe8583507fc8":{"data":{"newTab":false,"noFollow":false,"text":"looking for a man in finance, with a trust fund, 6′5, blue eyes","url":"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.afr.com\u002Flife-and-luxury\u002Farts-and-culture\u002Ftiktok-video-about-finance-bros-is-a-viral-hit-20240527-p5jh2q"},"type":"linkExternal"}},"byline":"Lucy Dean","closeComments":false,"headlines":{"headline":"‘Let’s get together, double our income’: Money is the new dating trend"},"intro":"Love can conquer most things, but can it overcome financial differences? 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