By popular demand, the Girlie • Heat • Public Address

<!doctype html> <html lang="en" class="no-js"> <head> <meta charset="utf-8"> <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=0.96" /> <meta property="og:url" content="https://publicaddress.net/heat/by-popular-demand-the-girlie/" /> <meta property="og:image" content="/static/img/publicaddress-logo.png?k=1b4bab4db5" /> <link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Public Address RSS Feed" href="/all.rss" /> <link rel="canonical" href="https://publicaddress.net/heat/by-popular-demand-the-girlie/"> <link rel="shortlink" href="https://pubadr.es/287db7ae-cad9-4dee-b8c0-b89dd4ddfd75"> <link rel="shortcut icon" href="/static/img/favicon/favicon.ico?k=1b4bab4db5"> <link rel="apple-touch-icon-precomposed" href="/static/img/favicon/apple-touch-icon.png?k=1b4bab4db5"> <link rel="mask-icon" href="/static/img/favicon/safari-pinned-tab.svg?k=1b4bab4db5" color="#556766"> <link href="/css/c.css?set=css&v=1712884442000" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="all"/> <link href="/css/c.css?set=css-layout&v=1712884442000" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="all"/> <link href="/css/c.css?set=css-handheld&v=1712884442000" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="handheld"/> <link href="/css/c.css?set=css-print&v=1712884442000" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="print"/>    <script src="/static/runtime.1c2f96bd.js?k=1b4bab4db5"></script><link rel="stylesheet" href="/static/head.min.c4435313.css?k=1b4bab4db5" /><script src="/static/head.min.5ba2f511.js?k=1b4bab4db5"></script> <title>By popular demand, the Girlie • Heat • Public Address</title> <script src="/js/c.js?set=js&v=1712884442000" ></script> <script src="/static/js/typekit.js?k=1b4bab4db5"></script> <link href="/global.css?mod=20240414154549" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="all"/> <link href="/css/c.css?set=css-blog&v=1712884442000" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="all"/> <link href="/heat.css?mod=20240412132840" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="all"/> <meta name="author" content="Rob O’Neill"> <script type="text/javascript"> $('#currentPageLink').val(location.pathname); var baseUrl = "/system"; </script> <script src="/static/system/js/forum.js?k=1b4bab4db5" type="text/javascript"></script> <script>var siteroot = "/";var csrf = "MYZqYordjrCOeMKp";</script> <script src="/js/c.js?set=js-header&v=1712884442000"></script> </head> <body class=" "> <script type="text/javascript" src="/js/c.js?set=osdetect&v=1712884442000" ></script> <div id="container" class="blog"> <header id="title" class="header"> <div class="header-content"> <a id="logo" href="/">Public Address, a community of blogs</a> </div> <a href="/heat/"><h1>Heat <em>by Rob O’Neill</em></h1></a> </header> <div id="main" class="tk hfeed"> <article class="hentry heat" id="post287db7ae-cad9-4dee-b8c0-b89dd4ddfd75"> <header> <div class="meta"> <time datetime="2004-03-30T16:58:33+1200" class="published updated" pubdate>16:58 Mar 30, 2004</time> </div> <h3 class="entry-title"><a href="/heat/by-popular-demand-the-girlie/">By popular demand, the Girlie</a></h3> </header> <div class="entry-content prettify"> <p>A week in New Zealand for me, and then three days away on a roadshow allowed the girlie to stretch out and call the place her own for a while.</p><p>I was in NZ for a friend’s wedding, and very good it was with a bunch of people turning up I hadn’t seen for a while. Setting? A kumeu vineyard. Fan bloody tastic. I was also over there to see the Girlie’s older sister into hospital. Dicky kidney, you see. They were going to do a Something Ectomy but in the end settled for an Irish procedure, a Something O’Plasty, which was music to our ears.</p><p>So right now Girlie Major is relaxing at home with a tube and a bag sticking out of her side. But everything went well and she’ll be up and causing trouble again soon. Girlie Major went a bit off the rails as a teen but has come out the other end, after a few good scares, a very fine thing indeed.</p><p>I went with her to the doctors a few months ago, a urology clinic in Gillies Avenue, to have scans and so forth. The doc was terrific – he only had one kidney and reckoned it was a doddle. One was enough, he said. He still regularly knocks back a few drams too many. Funny thing is, when you get to the reception area you can see into a courtyard out the back with a fountain and two or three of those Germanic “little boys taking a pee” statues.</p><p>Inspirational stuff.</p><p>Anyway the doc asked a lot of questions, as docs do. Very personal questions about, you know, down there. And about sex. Then he whipped Girlie Major behind a curtain to inspect her waterworks. </p><p>Then I heard a little voice:</p> <p>“If I’d known you were going to do this I wouldn’t have brought my Dad!”</p><p>When the inspection was over he came back to his desk and drew a couple of diagrams to explain what was wrong and what he was going to do to fix it. Girlie Major cringed.</p><p>Girlie Minor, meanwhile, is planning her <a href=" http://www.schoolies.org.au/" target="_blank">Schoolies Week</a>. Schoolies is a great Aussie tradition a la Spring Break in the US of A, they’ve even made a <a href=" http://www.moviehole.net/reviews/779.html" target="_blank">movie</a> about it. Kids head up to Surfers, rent a hotel room between about ten of them, drink themselves stupid, take drugs and shag each-other senseless.</p><p>Being a supportive parent, I’m expected to pay.</p><p>Schoolies has been troublesome in the past and the authorities have tried to <a href=" http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/11/12/1068329597329.html?from=storyrhs" target="_blank">reign it in</a>. But the Girlie isn’t planning to go to Surfers, because it sucks. She and her friends are heading for Bali, where, hopefully they’ll just lie on the beach go home to watch telly and go to bed early.</p><p>Yeah, right.</p><p>In other news, the <a href=" http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sports/sportsstorydisplay.cfm?storyID=3557831&thesection=sport&thesubsection=cricket&thesecondsubsection=" target="_blank">boys</a> lost the last test against South Africa and their best opportunity to knock off the one nation they have never beaten in a series. Damn shame, but a great series. Murali is in trouble <a href=" http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/03/29/1080544427051.html" target="_blank">again</a>, and rightly so in my humble.</p><p>ABC’s MediaWatch was funny as hell last night with a <a href=" http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s1076472.htm" target="_blank">terrific fisking</a>, of right-wing columnists Greg Sheridan and the appalling Andrew Bolt. Also a funny item on NZ’s own <a href=" http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s1076475.htm" target="_blank">Sunday News</a>.</p> </div> <footer> <div class="meta"> <a class="icon share" href="#">Share</a> <ul class="share-options"> <li><input type="text" class="shortlink" value="https://pubadr.es/287db7ae-cad9-4dee-b8c0-b89dd4ddfd75"/></li> </ul> </div> </footer> </article>  </div> <aside id="centre" class="tk"> <h1 class="hidden">Navigation</h1> <section> <h2>Recent</h2> <nav class="recent slab"> <ul> <li><a href="/heat/thats-all-folks/">That's all folks</a></li> <li><a href="/heat/a-few-simple-things/">A few simple things</a></li> <li><a href="/heat/the-new-like-whatever/">The new, like, whatever</a></li> </ul> <footer> <ul class="dotted"> <li><a href="/heat/archive/">Heat Archive</a></li> </ul> </footer> </nav> </section> <nav id="blogs"> <h2>Blogs</h2> <ul> <li><a href="/hardnews/" class="hardnews">Hard News</a></li> <li><a href="/up-front/" class="upfront">Up Front</a></li> <li><a href="/cracker/" class="cracker">Cracker</a></li> <li><a href="/busytown/" class="busytown">Busytown</a></li> <li><a href="/onpoint/" class="onpoint">OnPoint</a></li> <li><a href="/southerly/" class="southerly">Southerly</a></li> <li><a href="/legalbeagle/" class="legalbeagle">Legal Beagle</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li><a href="/fieldtheory/" class="fieldtheory">Field Theory</a></li> <li><a href="/muse/" class="muse">Muse</a></li> <li><a href="/radiation/" class="radiation">Radiation</a></li> <li><a href="/notes-queries/" class="notesandqueries">Notes+Queries</a></li> <li><a href="/envirologue/" class="envirologue">Envirologue</a></li> <li><a href="/polity/" class="polity">Polity</a></li> </ul> <footer> <ul class="dotted"> <li class=" "><a href="/speaker/" class="speaker">Speaker</a></li> <li class=" "><a href="/capture/" class="capture">Capture</a></li> <li class=" "><a href="/feed/" class="feed">Feed</a></li> <li class=" "><a href="/access/" class="access">Access</a></li> <li class=" fullwidth"><a href="/access-granted/" class="accessgranted">Access Granted</a></li> <li class=" fullwidth"><a href="/great-new-zealand-argument/" class="gnza">Great New Zealand Argument</a></li> </ul> </footer> <div class="dotted"> <ul> <li><a href="/system/">PA.System</a></li> </ul> <ul> <li><a href="/radio/">PA.Radio</a></li> </ul> </div> </nav> <section id="search"> <h2>Search</h2> <form method="get" action="https://www.google.com/search" id="searchform"> <input type="text" name="q" id="searchfield" class="tk" value=""> <button id="searchsubmit" type="submit">Go</button> </form> </section> </aside> <aside id="right" class="tk"> <div class="group"> <section> <h2>Links</h2> <nav> <ul> <li> <a href="/about-heat/">About Heat</a></li> <li> <a href="http://www.leafsalon.co.nz/">LeafSalon</a></li> <li> <a href="http://norightturn.blogspot.com/">No Right Turn</a></li> <li> <a href="http://www.nzpundit.com/">NZ Pundit</a></li> <li> <a href="http://mediacow.blogspot.com/">MediaCow</a></li> <li> <a href="http://johnhoward.blogspot.com/">John Howard's Weblog</a></li> </ul> </nav> </section> </div> </aside> <footer id="footer"> <p>©2002-2025 Public Address, all rights reserved. <a href="/disclaimer-1/">Disclaimer</a>. <span class="cactuslab">Made by <a href="http://www.cactuslab.com/">Cactuslab</a>. 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By popular demand, the Girlie • Heat • Public Address