Moms in Law: Millennials demand work-life balance more than their predecessors, but challenges persist

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As Carminati began practicing law in Houston, she and her husband thought they could have it all. Carminati figured she would put her children in day care and continue working her way up to partner.</p><p>But child care costs for four children were "crippling," Carminati says. She estimates that the cost of an au pair, who had a limited work schedule, along with things like after-school care, summer-care costs and overnight-sitter fees when Carminati traveled, worked out to $45,000 annually. Her husband, a physician, had little flexibility in his schedule.</p><p>"It was unlivable to be expected to operate as an attorney with long and unpredictable hours and travel," says Carminati, who is part of the millennial generation born between 1981 and 1996. She eventually left private practice and started working in-house in 2022. Her schedule allows her to work remotely—including on a sailboat in the summer.</p> </div> <div class="width- alignment- image-caption-block"> <img class="image full-height" alt="Woman crouched on the kitchen counter of a houseboat" src="https://www.abajournal.com/images/mag_images/12240125-FMOM-GiugiCarminati.jpg"/> <div class="caption">Giugi Carminati, an in-house lawyer, spent a month and a half on a boat with her family. (Photo by Alex Garbino)</div> </div> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>Millennials tend to emphasize a healthy work-life balance when choosing employers, according to the <i>Deloitte Global</i> <i>2024 Gen Z and Millennial Survey</i>. That includes members of the generation like Carminati, who are lawyers with young children. Also, various reports say the profession, known for long work hours and high-pressure environments, is still difficult for many women with parenting responsibilities: Like generations before them, they often cobble together child care with a mix of nannies, babysitters, day care settings and assistance from relatives.</p><p>According to the 2023 ABA study <i>Legal Careers of Parents and Child Caregivers: Results and Best Practices from a National Study of the Profession</i>, 61% of the mothers surveyed said they experienced demeaning comments about being a working parent, compared with 26% of fathers. The study, sponsored by the ABA Commission on Women in the Profession, also found that 65% of the mothers interviewed were responsible for arranging child care, versus 7% of the fathers.</p><p>But a growing number of young lawyers are pushing back, according to attorneys and legal recruiters interviewed by the<i> ABA Journal</i>.</p> </div> <div class="section-title-block"> Money matters </div> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>"The millennial generation is less tolerant of the kind of sexism that many women for many generations just put up with as they tried to assimilate into the workforce," says Tracy A. Thomas, the Seiberling Chair of Constitutional Law at the University of Akron School of Law.</p><p>And law firms have responded accordingly. Law firms of all sizes increasingly are offering hybrid work schedules, for example. In addition, there is less need for extensive travel due to online depositions and hearings, says Thomas, 59.</p><p>Millennials, she adds, are also more willing than prior generations to switch jobs to achieve a work environment that fits their needs. However, they can "run up against a wall" with billable hours.</p> </div> <blockquote class="quote-block"> <div class="quote-block-content"> <svg class="quote-block-icon" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 16 16" fill="none" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"> <path d="M7.39762 10.3C7.39762 11.0733 7.14888 11.7 6.6514 12.18C6.15392 12.6333 5.52552 12.86 4.76621 12.86C3.84979 12.86 3.09047 12.5533 2.48825 11.94C1.91222 11.3266 1.62421 10.4467 1.62421 9.29999C1.62421 8.07332 1.96459 6.87332 2.64535 5.69999C3.35231 4.49999 4.33418 3.55332 5.59098 2.85999L6.4943 4.25999C5.81354 4.73999 5.26369 5.27332 4.84476 5.85999C4.45201 6.44666 4.19017 7.12666 4.05926 7.89999C4.29491 7.79332 4.56983 7.73999 4.88403 7.73999C5.61716 7.73999 6.21938 7.97999 6.69067 8.45999C7.16197 8.93999 7.39762 9.55333 7.39762 10.3ZM14.6242 10.3C14.6242 11.0733 14.3755 11.7 13.878 12.18C13.3805 12.6333 12.7521 12.86 11.9928 12.86C11.0764 12.86 10.3171 12.5533 9.71484 11.94C9.13881 11.3266 8.85079 10.4467 8.85079 9.29999C8.85079 8.07332 9.19117 6.87332 9.87194 5.69999C10.5789 4.49999 11.5608 3.55332 12.8176 2.85999L13.7209 4.25999C13.0401 4.73999 12.4903 5.27332 12.0713 5.85999C11.6786 6.44666 11.4168 7.12666 11.2858 7.89999C11.5215 7.79332 11.7964 7.73999 12.1106 7.73999C12.8437 7.73999 13.446 7.97999 13.9173 8.45999C14.3886 8.93999 14.6242 9.55333 14.6242 10.3Z" fill="currentColor"></path> </svg> <p class="quote-block-text"> <em> "There's still a generational disconnect and friction between younger lawyers and leaders in law firms and the industry." </em> </p> </div> <footer class="quote-block-footer"> <div class="quote-block-attribution">Tracy A. Thomas</div> </footer> </blockquote> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>Many law firms ask associates to bill 2,000 hours or more annually, but lowering that requirement to 1,800 could help attorneys have more work-life balance, Law.com reported in 2023. But the lower number could also reduce law firm profits up to 20%, according to the article.</p><p>"There's still a generational disconnect and friction between younger lawyers and leaders in law firms and the industry," says Thomas, who studies gender and the law. "So long as the ideal worker is the person who works the most billable hours and firms still reward those lawyers with promotions, the choices set up for the younger generation, and particularly working mothers, are limited."</p><p>In some ways, millennials also have options that weren't available to older generations, thanks to a changing work environment and the shift to remote work during the coronavirus pandemic. Sabrina Sacks Mann, 55, a Philadelphia legal recruiter, has noticed that the millennial generation will push for legal careers that fit their needs, with an emphasis on time with family.</p><p>"They are more likely to question the status quo," says Mann, who has helped arrange the lateral placement of attorneys in law firms and corporations since 2002.</p><p>But Joanna Grossman, 56, a professor at Southern Methodist University Dedman School of Law in Dallas, says the legal profession is still resistant to real structural change.</p><p>"Millennials have a healthier view of work-life balance, and it would be better for the legal industry if people in law firms worked fewer hours, but in the end, profit is king," says Grossman, the inaugural Ellen K. Solender Endowed Chair in Women and the Law. "The typical law firm model is not compatible for people who have substantial child care or nonwork responsibilities."</p><p>Carminati's push to obtain a work-life balance reflects a similar sentiment among some of her peers. She initially practiced complex commercial litigation at Weil, Gotshal & Manges, then turned to a boutique firm doing criminal defense. After years of juggling children and work, Carminati decided she was done with the traditional route and went looking for work that would better suit her needs. In 2022, she found that balance as general counsel for a health and human performance consulting company in Pensacola, Florida, while she lives the bulk of her life in Aurora, Colorado.</p> </div> <div class="width-1-2 alignment-float-left image-caption-block"> <img class="image full-height" alt="Woman in the bowels of a ship amid the engine parts" src="https://www.abajournal.com/images/main_images/12240125-FMOM-GiugiCarminati2.jpg"/> <div class="caption">Carminati estimates that as a large firm associate, her child care costs were $45,000 annually. (Photo by Alex Garbino)</div> </div> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>"I was senior enough that it did not require a drop in salary. Would I be making more if I had followed the traditional route and stayed in BigLaw? Yes, much, much more," Carminati says.</p><p>For her interview with the <i>ABA Journal</i>, Carminati took the call from her sailboat. She bought the boat in April, and spent May and part of June sailing <span style="color:black;"><span data-olk-copy-source="MessageBody">from St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands to Florida</span></span> with her children while also working remotely.</p><p>"I had to have unfettered flexibility," Carminati says.</p> </div> <div class="section-title-block"> By the numbers </div> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>Between 1950 and 1970, only 3% of all lawyers were women. The percentage has edged up gradually since then—to 8% in 1980, 20% in 1991, 27% in 2000 and 39% in 2023, according to the 2023 <i>ABA Profile of the Legal Profession.</i></p><p>Still, while women account for 49.4% of all associates at law firms, they make up only 22.6% of equity partners, according to the <i>Legal Careers of Parents and Child Caregivers </i>study.</p> </div> <blockquote class="quote-block"> <div class="quote-block-content"> <svg class="quote-block-icon" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 16 16" fill="none" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"> <path d="M7.39762 10.3C7.39762 11.0733 7.14888 11.7 6.6514 12.18C6.15392 12.6333 5.52552 12.86 4.76621 12.86C3.84979 12.86 3.09047 12.5533 2.48825 11.94C1.91222 11.3266 1.62421 10.4467 1.62421 9.29999C1.62421 8.07332 1.96459 6.87332 2.64535 5.69999C3.35231 4.49999 4.33418 3.55332 5.59098 2.85999L6.4943 4.25999C5.81354 4.73999 5.26369 5.27332 4.84476 5.85999C4.45201 6.44666 4.19017 7.12666 4.05926 7.89999C4.29491 7.79332 4.56983 7.73999 4.88403 7.73999C5.61716 7.73999 6.21938 7.97999 6.69067 8.45999C7.16197 8.93999 7.39762 9.55333 7.39762 10.3ZM14.6242 10.3C14.6242 11.0733 14.3755 11.7 13.878 12.18C13.3805 12.6333 12.7521 12.86 11.9928 12.86C11.0764 12.86 10.3171 12.5533 9.71484 11.94C9.13881 11.3266 8.85079 10.4467 8.85079 9.29999C8.85079 8.07332 9.19117 6.87332 9.87194 5.69999C10.5789 4.49999 11.5608 3.55332 12.8176 2.85999L13.7209 4.25999C13.0401 4.73999 12.4903 5.27332 12.0713 5.85999C11.6786 6.44666 11.4168 7.12666 11.2858 7.89999C11.5215 7.79332 11.7964 7.73999 12.1106 7.73999C12.8437 7.73999 13.446 7.97999 13.9173 8.45999C14.3886 8.93999 14.6242 9.55333 14.6242 10.3Z" fill="currentColor"></path> </svg> <p class="quote-block-text"> <em> "I'd hoped to see much more progress from when I started practicing in the mid-'70s and having my three children, but so much has not changed." </em> </p> </div> <footer class="quote-block-footer"> <div class="quote-block-attribution">Roberta Liebenberg</div> </footer> </blockquote> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>"The data speaks volumes about the barriers women in the legal field are facing once they have children. They are experiencing implicit biases and inequitable treatment with respect to compensation, assignments and business development opportunities," says Roberta Liebenberg, 75, a past chair of the ABA Commission on Women in the Profession and co-author of the study.</p><p>"I'd hoped to see much more progress from when I started practicing in the mid-'70s and having my three children, but so much has not changed," she says.</p><p>The study, with more than 8,000 survey participants ranging in age from 24 to 99, describes the "maternal wall" bias that can be triggered by women getting pregnant, availing themselves of part-time or hybrid work arrangements or returning from maternity leave.</p><p>But as Liebenberg explains, the report suggests legal employers and leaders could help advance the careers of women, particularly mothers, by establishing mentorship programs, adjusting compensation and billable hours policies, encouraging the sharing of child care responsibilities and strengthening mental health resources.</p><p>"There are clear-cut steps legal employers can take to retain talent and create a workplace culture where women and men with children are valued and have equal opportunities to advance and succeed," says Liebenberg, senior partner at Fine, Kaplan and Black in Philadelphia and a principal in the Red Bee Group, a consulting firm.</p> </div> <div class="section-title-block"> Spousal support </div> <div class="width- alignment- image-caption-block"> <img class="image full-height" alt="Woman poses in an office environment" src="https://www.abajournal.com/images/mag_images/12240125-FMOM-DeniseGlasgow2.jpg"/> <div class="caption">The mother of two young children, Denise Glasgow is a Nevada legal aid lawyer. (Photo by Jeff Green Photography/ABA Journal)</div> </div> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>Some millennial mothers attribute their ability to juggle parenting and practicing law successfully to spouses who are willing to help.</p><p>“Everybody talks about how their dad would just come home and sit down with a beer or something,” says Denise Glasgow, 36, who works as a team chief for the Legal Aid Center of Southern Nevada in Las Vegas. "It seems like fathers just weren't as hands-on in my mother's generation."</p><p>Glasgow's husband is also a lawyer. Every week, they look at their calendars and coordinate schedules to ensure their two young children can get to school or to their grandmother, the main babysitter. If Glasgow has an early court date, her husband is the one to get the children ready in the mornings and vice versa, she says. If one spouse cooks dinner, the other cleans. Her husband doesn't work Fridays, and she works remotely two days each week.</p> </div> <blockquote class="quote-block"> <div class="quote-block-content"> <svg class="quote-block-icon" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 16 16" fill="none" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"> <path d="M7.39762 10.3C7.39762 11.0733 7.14888 11.7 6.6514 12.18C6.15392 12.6333 5.52552 12.86 4.76621 12.86C3.84979 12.86 3.09047 12.5533 2.48825 11.94C1.91222 11.3266 1.62421 10.4467 1.62421 9.29999C1.62421 8.07332 1.96459 6.87332 2.64535 5.69999C3.35231 4.49999 4.33418 3.55332 5.59098 2.85999L6.4943 4.25999C5.81354 4.73999 5.26369 5.27332 4.84476 5.85999C4.45201 6.44666 4.19017 7.12666 4.05926 7.89999C4.29491 7.79332 4.56983 7.73999 4.88403 7.73999C5.61716 7.73999 6.21938 7.97999 6.69067 8.45999C7.16197 8.93999 7.39762 9.55333 7.39762 10.3ZM14.6242 10.3C14.6242 11.0733 14.3755 11.7 13.878 12.18C13.3805 12.6333 12.7521 12.86 11.9928 12.86C11.0764 12.86 10.3171 12.5533 9.71484 11.94C9.13881 11.3266 8.85079 10.4467 8.85079 9.29999C8.85079 8.07332 9.19117 6.87332 9.87194 5.69999C10.5789 4.49999 11.5608 3.55332 12.8176 2.85999L13.7209 4.25999C13.0401 4.73999 12.4903 5.27332 12.0713 5.85999C11.6786 6.44666 11.4168 7.12666 11.2858 7.89999C11.5215 7.79332 11.7964 7.73999 12.1106 7.73999C12.8437 7.73999 13.446 7.97999 13.9173 8.45999C14.3886 8.93999 14.6242 9.55333 14.6242 10.3Z" fill="currentColor"></path> </svg> <p class="quote-block-text"> <em> "Certainly, fathers are more involved than they ever were in prior generations." </em> </p> </div> <footer class="quote-block-footer"> <div class="quote-block-attribution">Stephanie M. Sauer</div> </footer> </blockquote> <div class="width-1-3 alignment-float-left image-caption-block"> <img class="image full-height" alt="Woman poses in an office environment" src="https://www.abajournal.com/images/mag_images/12240125-FMOM-DeniseGlasgow1.jpg"/> <div class="caption">Denise Glasgow and her husband split child care duties. (Photo by Jeff Green Photography/ABA Journal)</div> </div> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>But for some millennial women with spouses, there can still be tension over expectations, especially when it comes to the role of fathers. According to a Pew Research Center 2023 study, women report spending more time on housework and caregiving each week, even when they earn more than their husbands. In families where mothers are the primary earners, they still spend about 13 hours weekly on caregiving activities, compared with an average of 8.9 spent by fathers, according to the study.</p><p>"Certainly, fathers are more involved than they ever were in prior generations," says Stephanie M. Sauer, a 41-year-old lawyer. "But mothers are still doing most of the heavy lifting when it comes to managing the household and the children."</p><p>Even before she had her child, she knew she wanted to join a firm that was family-friendly. She found the Geller Law Group in Fairfax, Virginia, where attorneys work on a hybrid schedule, often mostly remote.</p> </div> <div class="section-title-block"> Workplace boundaries </div> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>The firm, Sauer says, has an understanding that its attorneys work a variety of hours so they can carve out time for being involved in their children's lives. She practices family and adoption law.</p><p>"My clients often are appreciative that we have calls after I get my son to bed because they are often doing the same thing," Sauer says.</p><p>Immigration lawyer Vi Nguyen, 42, says she also looked around for a firm that would allow her to spend more time with her 10-year-old daughter.</p><p>She left her job at a boutique firm in Houston for another job that involved less time in court and on the road after she had her daughter. She then switched again to her current employer, Foster, which allows her to maintain a hybrid schedule. She works three days a week from home but says the two days in the office involve more than two hours of commuting time. But she says her firm is accommodating about school events or other family time.</p><p>"I have an open line of communication with my partners about my schedule, and that really helps," Nguyen says.</p><p>But she has feelings of guilt no matter what she does—a familiar refrain of working mothers of all generations. If Nguyen makes it to her daughter's event, she later finds out a client is waiting for an email back from her. Conversely, she can achieve a win for a client on the same day she misses a school event.</p><p>"I made a choice to become a lawyer, and I want to be a good one," Nguyen says. "There's a struggle to reconcile the two."</p> </div> <div class="width-1-1 alignment-none image-caption-block"> <img class="image full-height" alt="A toddler and dog play in the foreground as a mother works on her laptop in the background" src="https://www.abajournal.com/images/mag_images/12240125-FMOM-AmberBarlowGarcia2.jpg"/> <div class="caption">Amber Barlow Garcia, a partner, divides her time between remote and in-person work. (Photo by Kathy Anderson/ABA Journal)</div> </div> <div class="section-title-block"> 'Day by day' </div> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>Amber Barlow Garcia, a partner in the New Orleans office of Deutsch Kerrigan, has two young children, one of them still a baby. Her husband works full time from an office, while Barlow Garcia, 37, divides her time between remote and in-person work.</p><p>With parenting, she has taken a harder look at where she invests her time. She focuses on being present with her children, along with work and leadership roles that will help her career.</p><p>"The obvious problem is time constraints," says Barlow Garcia, 2023-2024 chair of the ABA Young Lawyers Division Parents in Practice Initiative. "Time management is huge, and being able to prioritize between tasks is important. I can certainly argue that a working parent is an asset because that is a person who has learned how to multitask."</p><p>She and her husband juggle child care between a part-time nanny and family members, yet she still can find herself sending middle-of-the-night emails and working on motions while holding a crying baby.</p> </div> <div class="width-1-2 alignment-float-right image-caption-block"> <img class="image full-height" alt="Smiling blonde woman in business attire" src="https://www.abajournal.com/images/mag_images/12240125-FMOM-AmberBarlowGarcia.jpg"/> <div class="caption">Amber Barlow Garcia has taken a hard look at where she invests her time. (Photo by Kathy Anderson/ABA Journal)</div> </div> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>"I tried so hard at the start of my career as a young female to make a name for myself," Barlow Garcia says. "Now I am determined to show them that I do my work just as well as a mother of small children—even better, actually."</p><p>But Barlow Garcia adds that having small children presents challenges when they need to go to the doctor in the middle of the afternoon or child care falls though for the day.</p><p>"We're taking it day by day," she says.</p><p>Some millennial lawyers choose to go out on their own, creating small or solo firms and picking clients who respect the boundaries they set.</p><p>Michelle Cohen Levy, a 42-year-old lawyer in Lighthouse Point, Florida, worked in both small and big law firms before deciding she was going to open her own practice. She remembers vividly the moment she felt like she'd had enough of "working like crazy" at a more formal firm.</p><p>"It was 3 a.m., and I was responding to a motion that a partner demanded that I draft," Levy says. "I said to my husband, 'I can't keep living like this.'"</p> </div> <blockquote class="quote-block"> <div class="quote-block-content"> <svg class="quote-block-icon" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 16 16" fill="none" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" aria-hidden="true"> <path d="M7.39762 10.3C7.39762 11.0733 7.14888 11.7 6.6514 12.18C6.15392 12.6333 5.52552 12.86 4.76621 12.86C3.84979 12.86 3.09047 12.5533 2.48825 11.94C1.91222 11.3266 1.62421 10.4467 1.62421 9.29999C1.62421 8.07332 1.96459 6.87332 2.64535 5.69999C3.35231 4.49999 4.33418 3.55332 5.59098 2.85999L6.4943 4.25999C5.81354 4.73999 5.26369 5.27332 4.84476 5.85999C4.45201 6.44666 4.19017 7.12666 4.05926 7.89999C4.29491 7.79332 4.56983 7.73999 4.88403 7.73999C5.61716 7.73999 6.21938 7.97999 6.69067 8.45999C7.16197 8.93999 7.39762 9.55333 7.39762 10.3ZM14.6242 10.3C14.6242 11.0733 14.3755 11.7 13.878 12.18C13.3805 12.6333 12.7521 12.86 11.9928 12.86C11.0764 12.86 10.3171 12.5533 9.71484 11.94C9.13881 11.3266 8.85079 10.4467 8.85079 9.29999C8.85079 8.07332 9.19117 6.87332 9.87194 5.69999C10.5789 4.49999 11.5608 3.55332 12.8176 2.85999L13.7209 4.25999C13.0401 4.73999 12.4903 5.27332 12.0713 5.85999C11.6786 6.44666 11.4168 7.12666 11.2858 7.89999C11.5215 7.79332 11.7964 7.73999 12.1106 7.73999C12.8437 7.73999 13.446 7.97999 13.9173 8.45999C14.3886 8.93999 14.6242 9.55333 14.6242 10.3Z" fill="currentColor"></path> </svg> <p class="quote-block-text"> <em> "I want to be present for my kids." </em> </p> </div> <footer class="quote-block-footer"> <div class="quote-block-attribution">Michelle Cohen Levy</div> </footer> </blockquote> <div class="rich-text-block"> <p>She didn't want to end up a workaholic like her father, she says, so she opened her own firm before she had her two sons. Levy liked the ability to control her own hours and pick the work she wanted to do. But even with her own firm, Levy says the early days of parenthood were still "a cluster" due to constant child care issues.</p><p>Her sons are now a little older, and some of those challenges have eased with their age.</p><p>Levy, a plaintiffs employment lawyer, says working on her own hasn't eliminated the stress in her life. But she describes herself as happier than she would have been if she had less control over her schedule and clients.</p><p>"I have a communications policy that every client signs that puts boundaries on how reachable I am outside of office hours," Levy says. "It's not negotiable, and if a client doesn't like it, they won't be the right fit for me."</p><p>Levy goes on vacation at least once a year. During that time, she is "unreachable."</p><p>"I don't take my computer. I want to be present for my kids," Levy says. 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Moms in Law: Millennials demand work-life balance more than their predecessors, but challenges persist