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<!DOCTYPE html><html class="chalkbeat" lang="en" style="overflow-x:clip"><head><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1"/><title>Here’s how schools can support students with incarcerated parents - Chalkbeat</title><meta name="description" content="One in 14 U.S. children has had an incarcerated parent. The experience is surprisingly lonely, writes Anna Tovchigrechko, founder of the UnLocked Project."/><meta name="twitter:description" content="One in 14 U.S. children has had an incarcerated parent, so why is the experience so lonely?"/><meta property="og:description" content="One in 14 U.S. children has had an incarcerated parent, so why is the experience so lonely?"/><meta property="og:title" content="I grew up visiting my mom in prison. Here’s how schools can support kids like me."/><meta name="twitter:title" content="I grew up visiting my mom in prison. 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https://www.chalkbeat.org/resizer/v2/L2DR354KVRH5BOPOWAO2XLQUDE.jpg?auth=4cea509897d40686322118c8da36d180da8f4627eaaf9f217ece38d820a30864&smart=true&width=1024&height=576 1024w, https://www.chalkbeat.org/resizer/v2/L2DR354KVRH5BOPOWAO2XLQUDE.jpg?auth=4cea509897d40686322118c8da36d180da8f4627eaaf9f217ece38d820a30864&smart=true&width=1600&height=900 1600w" sizes="100vw" width="1600" height="900"/><figcaption><p class="image-metadata"><span>"When my mom was in prison, I was reluctant to talk about it with friends, let alone with teachers," writes Anna Tovchigrechko, founder of the UnLocked Project. </span>(Yuliya Taba / Getty Images)</p></figcaption></figure></div><div class="overlay-text"></div></div><section role="main" id="main" class="main" tabindex="-1"><div class="container layout-section"><div class="breadcrumbs"><a href="/first-person/">First Person</a></div><h1 class="b-headline">I grew up visiting my mom in prison. Here’s what schools should know about students like me.</h1><h2 class="c-heading b-subheadline">One in 14 U.S. kids has had an incarcerated parent, but the experience can be surprisingly lonely. </h2><div class="byline"><span class="author">By <div class="Page-byline"><div class="Page-authors">Anna Tovchigrechko</div></div></span><span class="separator"> | </span><span class="date">November 11, 2024, 9:56pm UTC</span></div><div class="share-bar"><ul><li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/dialog/share?app_id=735437511148430&display=popup&href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.chalkbeat.org%2F2024%2F11%2F11%2Fstudents-incarcerated-parents-need-school-support-unlocked-project%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer" class="facebook-share-button"><svg><use xlink:href="#icon-facebook"></use></svg></a></li><li><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.chalkbeat.org%2F2024%2F11%2F11%2Fstudents-incarcerated-parents-need-school-support-unlocked-project%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer"><svg><svg class="c-icon" width="22" height="22" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M389.2 48h70.6L305.6 224.2 487 464H345L233.7 318.6 106.5 464H35.8L200.7 275.5 26.8 48H172.4L272.9 180.9 389.2 48zM364.4 421.8h39.1L151.1 88h-42L364.4 421.8z"></path></svg></svg></a></li><li><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.chalkbeat.org%2F2024%2F11%2F11%2Fstudents-incarcerated-parents-need-school-support-unlocked-project%2F" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer" class="linkedin-share-button"><svg><svg class="c-icon" width="22" height="22" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 512 512" fill="currentColor" aria-hidden="true" focusable="false"><path d="M100.28 448H7.4V148.9h92.88zM53.79 108.1C24.09 108.1 0 83.5 0 53.8a53.79 53.79 0 0 1 107.58 0c0 29.7-24.1 54.3-53.79 54.3zM447.9 448h-92.68V302.4c0-34.7-.7-79.2-48.29-79.2-48.29 0-55.69 37.7-55.69 76.7V448h-92.78V148.9h89.08v40.8h1.3c12.4-23.5 42.69-48.3 87.88-48.3 94 0 111.28 61.9 111.28 142.3V448z"></path></svg></svg></a></li></ul><a class="republish-link" href="/republish/2024/11/11/students-incarcerated-parents-need-school-support-unlocked-project/">Republish</a></div><article class="default__ArticleBodyCivic-sc-1px4eze-2 bekrrS article-body-wrapper"><div class="Page-articleBody-TagData"><div class="Page-articleBody-TagData-title"><a class="Link" href="/first-person/"><img src="/pf/resources/images/chalkbeat/sections/first-person.png?d=135" width="300" height="68"/></a></div><div class="Page-articleBody-TagData-description">First Person is where Chalkbeat features personal essays by educators, students, parents, and others thinking and writing about public education.</div></div><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph"><a href="https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/cdep.12392#:~:text=About%202.6%20million%20U.S.%20children,leaving%20for%20jail%20or%20prison.">One in 14 children and young teens</a> in the United States have experienced the incarceration of a parent. I know firsthand the challenges that come with this painful situation.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">While in middle school, I spent many weekends in the car, making the eight-hour journey from Maryland to rural upstate New York to visit my mom in prison. These visits always felt bittersweet: I looked forward to spending time with her, but I also felt nervous about seeing her in such an unwelcoming environment. I remember forcing myself to put on a brave face so as not to let my mom see me sad.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">My mom was released when I was 15, and through my hard work and familial support, I graduated high school and enrolled in college. I’m studying psychology, criminology, and Spanish with the hopes of becoming a clinical psychologist. I want to use my life experience and research skills to help children who have experienced trauma, including parental incarceration. I’m proud of my success, but I know that schools can do more to help students like me.</p><figure class="c-media-item article-body-image-container article-body-image-container--mobile-right-float"><img data-chromatic="ignore" alt="Headshot of a young woman with brown hai, wearing a white shirt and glasses." class="c-image" loading="lazy" src="https://www.chalkbeat.org/resizer/v2/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png?auth=45c7f55e2aa959fbc67607c98a1d88b5d17e627e05aadafdc87cf3c9a7a44f8d&quality=85&width=400&height=432" srcSet="https://www.chalkbeat.org/resizer/v2/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png?auth=45c7f55e2aa959fbc67607c98a1d88b5d17e627e05aadafdc87cf3c9a7a44f8d&quality=85&width=137&height=147 137w, https://www.chalkbeat.org/resizer/v2/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png?auth=45c7f55e2aa959fbc67607c98a1d88b5d17e627e05aadafdc87cf3c9a7a44f8d&quality=85&width=200&height=216 200w, https://www.chalkbeat.org/resizer/v2/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png?auth=45c7f55e2aa959fbc67607c98a1d88b5d17e627e05aadafdc87cf3c9a7a44f8d&quality=85&width=384&height=414 384w, https://www.chalkbeat.org/resizer/v2/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png?auth=45c7f55e2aa959fbc67607c98a1d88b5d17e627e05aadafdc87cf3c9a7a44f8d&quality=85&width=512&height=552 512w, https://www.chalkbeat.org/resizer/v2/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png?auth=45c7f55e2aa959fbc67607c98a1d88b5d17e627e05aadafdc87cf3c9a7a44f8d&quality=85&width=720&height=777 720w" width="400" height="432"/><figcaption class="c-media-item__fig-caption"><span class="c-media-item__caption">Anna Tovchigrechko </span><span class="c-media-item__credit">(Courtesy of Anna Tovchigrechko) </span></figcaption></figure><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">When my mom was in prison, I was reluctant to talk about it with friends, let alone with teachers. Children of incarcerated parents often face judgment. In reality, we have no control over our situation. To combat this stigma, schools need to address this issue openly and create opportunities for sharing. Connecting with others who have been impacted by parental incarceration helps people feel less alone.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">On my college campus, I founded the <a href="https://unlockedproject.org/">UnLocked Project</a>, an organization to support high school and college students in and around D.C. with incarcerated or formerly incarcerated parents. We offer facilitated peer support groups and information about scholarships, visitation support, mentorship programs, and other local and national resources.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">In the past year, we have created a community of students who have experienced the incarceration of a loved one and students who haven’t but are passionate about social justice. We’ve spoken about our experiences in front of hundreds of students, hosted peer support groups, and are planning an event with a researcher who studies incarceration and families.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">The UnLocked Project is one of the things that I am most proud of in my college career. I’m also part of Osborne Association’s <a href="https://www.susu-osborne.org/about-susu">See Us, Support Us</a>, or SUSU, a national effort to create a community for and raise awareness about children with incarcerated parents. The sooner that these children feel seen and heard on this issue, the better.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">It is deeply traumatic to be separated from your parent and to worry about their well-being. It can also be very isolating. I remember feeling like I was the only one going through <a href="https://policyinstitute.iu.edu/doc/maternal-incarceration-brief-2023.pdf">maternal incarceration</a>, unaware that many thousands of kids around the country were experiencing the same thing. We need support and community, yet one of the biggest challenges is that students often don’t know what resources are available or how to access them.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">For example, I didn’t find out about scholarships or mental health services for children of incarcerated parents until my senior year of high school, two years after my mom had been released from prison. And what I learned, I found out not from my school but by Googling.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">School communities and districts should create a centralized place — maybe it’s a website, maybe it’s a resource center — where students and their caregivers can find the support and programs they need without having to ask for it directly, which can be intimidating.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">I also recommend that teachers convey to students their support by posting the <a href="https://www.susu-osborne.org/bill-of-rights">Children of Incarcerated Parents Bill of Rights</a>, which includes statements such as “I have the right to be heard when decisions are made about me” and “I have the right to be well cared for in my parent’s absence.” Teachers and school libraries should also carry books about children of incarcerated parents. Just knowing that there’s an adult at school who understands can make a world of difference.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">Professional development for educators and school staff about mass incarceration and its impact on children is also critical and must include opportunities to reflect on implicit biases they may hold about incarcerated people and their families. The<a href="https://www.susu-osborne.org/educator-resources"> SUSU Educator Toolkit</a> is a great place to start.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">Teachers and school leaders should understand that a student who is acting out in class or struggling academically might be dealing with challenges at home related to parental incarceration. After all, children with an incarcerated parent are exposed to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0190740918300525#:~:text=Youth%20with%20incarcerated%20parents%20experience,health%20and%20substance%20use%20disorders.">five times as many adverse childhood experiences</a> as their counterparts. These kinds of experiences can undermine our sense of safety and stability, which can impact how we are able to show up in school. It’s important that the adults we interact with are aware and able to respond to our needs.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph">By taking these steps, schools can create an environment where students with incarcerated parents feel seen, affirmed, and equipped to succeed. We are our own individuals with dreams and aspirations. We are not defined by our parents’ past. With less stigma and the right help, we can thrive.</p><p class="default__StyledText-sc-1px4eze-0 fAQmnu body-paragraph"><i>Anna Tovchigrechko is a junior at the University of Maryland and the founder of the </i><a href="https://unlockedproject.org/"><i>UnLocked Project</i></a><i>.</i></p></article></div></section><footer class="footer"><div class="c-stack b-single-chain" data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><div class="c-stack b-single-chain__children-stack" data-style-direction="vertical" data-style-justification="start" data-style-alignment="unset" data-style-inline="false" data-style-wrap="nowrap"><div id="fusion-static-enter:f0fQXcYd2Wdm1Am-4-0-0" style="display:none" data-fusion-component="f0fQXcYd2Wdm1Am-4-0-0"></div><div class="customfooter"><footer><div class="footer-content"><div class="footer-grid"><div class="footer-column"><h3>Who We Are</h3><ul><li><a 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I know firsthand the challenges that come with this painful situation.","type":"text"},{"_id":"DUGYVJQCXJAGRJZVVGLFXSG2W4","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276271},"content":"While in middle school, I spent many weekends in the car, making the eight-hour journey from Maryland to rural upstate New York to visit my mom in prison. These visits always felt bittersweet: I looked forward to spending time with her, but I also felt nervous about seeing her in such an unwelcoming environment. I remember forcing myself to put on a brave face so as not to let my mom see me sad.","type":"text"},{"_id":"LDKJU65G3FARZPYSYT7RIMYEOQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276272},"content":"My mom was released when I was 15, and through my hard work and familial support, I graduated high school and enrolled in college. I’m studying psychology, criminology, and Spanish with the hopes of becoming a clinical psychologist. I want to use my life experience and research skills to help children who have experienced trauma, including parental incarceration. I’m proud of my success, but I know that schools can do more to help students like me.","type":"text"},{"_id":"2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ","additional_properties":{"fullSizeResizeUrl":"/resizer/hBtHaRZpUcm4DXsLHbD5kuij7GQ=/arc-photo-civicnewscompany/arc2-prod/public/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png","galleries":[],"ingestionMethod":"manual","keywords":["anna tovchigrechko","unlocked project","incarceration","incarcerated parents"],"mime_type":"image/png","originalName":"NAT-11012024-CourtesyPhoto-Anna-Tovchigrechko-Headshot.png","originalUrl":"https://cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/civicnewscompany/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png","proxyUrl":"/resizer/hBtHaRZpUcm4DXsLHbD5kuij7GQ=/arc-photo-civicnewscompany/arc2-prod/public/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png","published":true,"resizeUrl":"/resizer/hBtHaRZpUcm4DXsLHbD5kuij7GQ=/arc-photo-civicnewscompany/arc2-prod/public/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png","restricted":false,"takenOn":"2024-11-01T15:00:00Z","thumbnailResizeUrl":"/resizer/hQmtlPRdEusVp43ob1jIm3KFjro=/300x0/arc-photo-civicnewscompany/arc2-prod/public/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png","usage_instructions":"Courtesy photo-do not reuse without permission","version":1,"template_id":1183,"_id":"3VBGHJORXZBOBHO3QNRXGI6RLU"},"address":{},"alt_text":"Headshot of a young woman with brown hai, wearing a white shirt and glasses.","auth":{"1":"45c7f55e2aa959fbc67607c98a1d88b5d17e627e05aadafdc87cf3c9a7a44f8d"},"caption":"Anna Tovchigrechko","copyright":"Courtesy photo-do not reuse without permission","created_date":"2024-11-11T20:05:41Z","credits":{"affiliation":[{"name":"Courtesy of Anna Tovchigrechko","type":"author"}],"by":[]},"focal_point":{"x":533,"y":445},"geo":{},"height":1082,"image_type":"photograph","last_updated_date":"2024-11-11T20:06:20Z","licensable":false,"owner":{"id":"civicnewscompany","sponsored":false},"source":{"additional_properties":{"editor":"photo center"},"edit_url":"","system":"photo center"},"subtitle":"","taxonomy":{"associated_tasks":[]},"type":"image","url":"https://cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/civicnewscompany/2V4Z7F55QZC5RLH2M2O7HFY3GQ.png","version":"0.10.9","width":1000,"planning":{},"syndication":{},"creditIPTC":"Courtesy of Anna Tovchigrechko","alignment":"right"},{"_id":"KZDMJLCU2ZBFXBCIMELAT75V2E","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355593116},"content":"When my mom was in prison, I was reluctant to talk about it with friends, let alone with teachers. Children of incarcerated parents often face judgment. In reality, we have no control over our situation. To combat this stigma, schools need to address this issue openly and create opportunities for sharing. Connecting with others who have been impacted by parental incarceration helps people feel less alone.","type":"text"},{"_id":"OQBDPKMIBND3RI6NFPCS3ARDN4","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276274},"content":"On my college campus, I founded the <a href=\"https://unlockedproject.org/\">UnLocked Project</a>, an organization to support high school and college students in and around D.C. with incarcerated or formerly incarcerated parents. We offer facilitated peer support groups and information about scholarships, visitation support, mentorship programs, and other local and national resources.","type":"text"},{"_id":"AJEGEXCCBJE2THJ7KPIPUTPXOA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276275},"content":"In the past year, we have created a community of students who have experienced the incarceration of a loved one and students who haven’t but are passionate about social justice. We’ve spoken about our experiences in front of hundreds of students, hosted peer support groups, and are planning an event with a researcher who studies incarceration and families.","type":"text"},{"_id":"OHORJYFZINCO5D55VXKRCEPBRI","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276276},"content":"The UnLocked Project is one of the things that I am most proud of in my college career. I’m also part of Osborne Association’s <a href=\"https://www.susu-osborne.org/about-susu\">See Us, Support Us</a>, or SUSU, a national effort to create a community for and raise awareness about children with incarcerated parents. The sooner that these children feel seen and heard on this issue, the better.","type":"text"},{"_id":"6YABYUQMMRHA7FUAHJKALUVHYA","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276277},"content":"It is deeply traumatic to be separated from your parent and to worry about their well-being. It can also be very isolating. I remember feeling like I was the only one going through <a href=\"https://policyinstitute.iu.edu/doc/maternal-incarceration-brief-2023.pdf\">maternal incarceration</a>, unaware that many thousands of kids around the country were experiencing the same thing. We need support and community, yet one of the biggest challenges is that students often don’t know what resources are available or how to access them.","type":"text"},{"_id":"HXRBERD6QFHNRAK24CGDFJ4MBQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276278},"content":"For example, I didn’t find out about scholarships or mental health services for children of incarcerated parents until my senior year of high school, two years after my mom had been released from prison. And what I learned, I found out not from my school but by Googling.","type":"text"},{"_id":"YFUCKJWDSZFOLOJRZZOMOYRGWE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276279},"content":"School communities and districts should create a centralized place — maybe it’s a website, maybe it’s a resource center — where students and their caregivers can find the support and programs they need without having to ask for it directly, which can be intimidating.","type":"text"},{"_id":"5IKELFDVP5AEBNSD6COVLSHRKQ","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276280},"content":"I also recommend that teachers convey to students their support by posting the <a href=\"https://www.susu-osborne.org/bill-of-rights\">Children of Incarcerated Parents Bill of Rights</a>, which includes statements such as “I have the right to be heard when decisions are made about me” and “I have the right to be well cared for in my parent’s absence.” Teachers and school libraries should also carry books about children of incarcerated parents. Just knowing that there’s an adult at school who understands can make a world of difference.","type":"text"},{"_id":"PYSD4HTBYFDF3D5CEGZLES6ESY","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276281},"content":"Professional development for educators and school staff about mass incarceration and its impact on children is also critical and must include opportunities to reflect on implicit biases they may hold about incarcerated people and their families. The<a href=\"https://www.susu-osborne.org/educator-resources\"> SUSU Educator Toolkit</a> is a great place to start.","type":"text"},{"_id":"SMZCCT5B4RFETALQ3IOU2HQD7Y","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276282},"content":"Teachers and school leaders should understand that a student who is acting out in class or struggling academically might be dealing with challenges at home related to parental incarceration. After all, children with an incarcerated parent are exposed to <a href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0190740918300525#:~:text=Youth%20with%20incarcerated%20parents%20experience,health%20and%20substance%20use%20disorders.\">five times as many adverse childhood experiences</a> as their counterparts. These kinds of experiences can undermine our sense of safety and stability, which can impact how we are able to show up in school. It’s important that the adults we interact with are aware and able to respond to our needs.","type":"text"},{"_id":"33UYQHLVTZERZPLDJHJEYQJQWE","additional_properties":{"_id":1731355276283},"content":"By taking these steps, schools can create an environment where students with incarcerated parents feel seen, affirmed, and equipped to succeed. We are our own individuals with dreams and aspirations. We are not defined by our parents’ past. 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