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id="sfg_news">  <div class="contentheader clearfix"> <div class="title "> <h1>Weird News</h1> <p>Tuesday April 8, 2008 <span class="date">Updated 11:52 AM PDT</span></p> </div> <div class="sharetools"> </div> </div>   <div id="sfg_news_weird" class="contentbody clearfix"> <div class="column1 "> <div class="modulegroup">   <div class="sfg_top001 clearfix"> <h3>This Week</h3> <div class="item clearfix"> <ul><li><h4><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/olympictorch/">Olympic Torch Page</a></h4></li><li><h4><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/data/">SFGate Data Center</a></h4></li><li><h4><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/homeandgarden/">H&G;: Baffling Bulbs</a></h4></li><li><h4><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/04/05/SPQJ1005KA.DTL">Pressure On Kiffin</a></h4></li><li><h4><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/04/02/BAISVU6KB.DTL">St. Stupid Parade (Pics)</a></h4></li> </ul> </div> </div>   <div class="hr_dotted"><hr/></div>   <div class="sfg_chr001"> <h2>TODAY'S CHRONICLE</h2> <a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/chronicle/"><img class="chronicle" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20080408185429im_/http://imgs.sfgate.com/c/front/00_t.jpg" alt=""/></a> <p>View Section:</p> <form name="chr001form" class="chronicle clearfix" action="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/artlist.cgi" method="get"> <select class="chronicle" name="key" onchange="if (this.selectedIndex > 0) document.chr001form.submit();"> <option value="MN" selected="selected">-- select --</option> <option value="ED">Commentary</option> <option value="BA">Bay Area</option> <option value="SP">Sports</option> <option value="MN">News</option> <option value="BU">Business</option> <option value="DD">Datebook</option> </select> <input name="d" type="hidden" value="/c/a/2008/04/08"/> <img class="submit" name="Go" alt="Go" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20080408185429im_/http://imgs.sfgate.com/graphics/utils/gobutton_31x17.gif"/> </form> </div>   </div> </div> <div class="column2 ">   <div class="sfg_hed002 hed_module"><div class="w410"> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/07/international/i155651D49.DTL">Homer Simpson Would Approve</a></h3> <a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/07/international/i155651D49.DTL"><img class="thumb" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20080408185429im_/http://imgs.sfgate.com/c/pictures/2008/01/30_t/mn_ford_homer_simpso_t.gif" alt="Homer Simpson Would Approve"/></a> <div class="desc"> <p> A Venezuelan TV channel yanks "The Simpsons" because it may be inappropriate for children. Its replacement: "Baywatch Hawaii." </p> <ul class="multimedia"> <li><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/article?f=/n/a/2008/04/07/international/i155651D49.DTL&o=0"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20080408185429im_/http://imgs.sfgate.com/graphics/utils/mmicon_photo.gif" alt="Photos"/> Photos</a></li> </ul> <ul class="subitems"> <li class="first"><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/08/national/a093002D39.DTL">Mmm, beer: Thieves steal $24,000 worth</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/08/international/i071144D67.DTL">Baby With 2 Faces Born In India</a></h3> <div> <p> She's doing well and is being worshipped as the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess. </p> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/07/international/i141425D22.DTL">Honey, I Never Dreamed It Could Be Like This!</a></h3> <div> <p> Police said Vallejo newlyweds spent their first night as a married couple in jail after their wedding party got out of hand. </p> <ul class="subitems"> <li class="first"><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/05/national/a173005D13.DTL">Man convicted, sentenced, then married</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/07/national/a055744D60.DTL">Texas Stripper 'Pole Tax' Unconstitutional</a></h3> <div> <p> A $5-per-customer fee on strip club patrons has been tossed. </p> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/07/national/a150245D51.DTL">He'll Pass On The Station Doughnuts, Thanks</a></h3> <div> <p> To fulfill his dream of becoming a police officer, Tom Dolan gave up a lot -- more than 200 pounds after getting gastric bypass surgery. </p> <ul class="subitems"> <li class="first"><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/08/national/a063306D12.DTL">These teens won't be future criminal justice majors</a></li> <li><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/06/national/a110200D23.DTL">Georgia robber left name on job application</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/07/national/a142639D26.DTL">Fine Feathered Fiends</a></h3> <div> <p> Rather than rain or snow, or even dogs, postal workers in a Wisconsin neighborhood are being pestered by wild turkeys this spring. </p> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/07/international/i141645D23.DTL">Should've Gotten That Order To Go</a></h3> <div> <p> Three men who stole cash from a restaurant in Malaysia got caught when they returned for a second helping. </p> <ul class="subitems"> <li class="first"><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/07/international/i140840D21.DTL">Court skewers kebab damages claim</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/07/national/a194928D35.DTL">Say It, Don't Spray It</a></h3> <div> <p> An Alaska man will spend five months in jail for twice attacking bar customers with bear spray. </p> <ul class="subitems"> <li class="first"><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/06/international/i210640D73.DTL">Assault with a prickly weapon</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/05/national/a153350D12.DTL">Nothing's Fast About This Fast Food</a></h3> <a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/05/national/a153350D12.DTL"><img class="thumb" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20080408185429im_/http://imgs.sfgate.com/c/pictures/2008/04/06_t/mn_Rube_Goldberg_NY131_t.gif" alt="Nothing's Fast About This Fast Food"/></a> <div class="desc"> <p> A team of Purdue students concocted a 156-step recipe to prepare a hamburger to win Saturday's annual national Rube Goldberg Machine Contest. </p> <ul class="multimedia"> <li><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article/comments/view?f=/n/a/2008/04/05/national/a153350D12.DTL"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20080408185429im_/http://imgs.sfgate.com/graphics/utils/mmicon_comment.gif" alt=""/> Comment</a></li> <li><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/article?f=/n/a/2008/04/05/national/a153350D12.DTL&o=0"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20080408185429im_/http://imgs.sfgate.com/graphics/utils/mmicon_photo.gif" alt="Photos"/> Photos</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/05/national/a101046D71.DTL">Take Me Out To The ... Cricket Match?</a></h3> <div> <p> Schools in New York City, home of the Yankees and the Mets, have launched a cricket league, apparently the first school system in the country to offer the sport. </p> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/05/international/i085218D93.DTL">The Tale Of Rat-A-Blooey</a></h3> <div> <p> The electrocution of a fat rat caused a three-hour power outage in Stockholm's central train station. </p> <ul class="subitems"> <li class="first"><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/04/national/a161026D06.DTL">Diaper-clad monkey escapes Fla. home</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/04/national/a194607D35.DTL">Rifle Company Ships Loaded Guns</a></h3> <div> <p> A rifle manufacturer asked arms dealers nationwide to make extra safety inspections. </p> </div> </div> <div class="item clearfix"> <h3><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/03/national/a173001D41.DTL">'I Yelled To The Boss, I'm Out of Here'</a></h3> <a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/03/national/a173001D41.DTL"><img class="thumb" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20080408185429im_/http://imgs.sfgate.com/c/pictures/2008/04/05_t/mn_mega_millions_winner_t.gif" alt="'I Yelled To The Boss, I'm Out of Here'"/></a> <div class="desc"> <p> David Sneath worked at Ford for 34 years, but it didn't take him any time at all to walk out once he discovered he had won a $136 million jackpot. </p> <ul class="multimedia"> <li><a href="/web/20080408185429/http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article/comments/view?f=/n/a/2008/04/03/national/a173001D41.DTL"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20080408185429im_/http://imgs.sfgate.com/graphics/utils/mmicon_comment.gif" 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