My Teacher Made Me Feel Included — 45 Years Later I Still Remember Him

<!DOCTYPE html> <html lang="en-US"> <head> <title>My Teacher Made Me Feel Included — 45 Years Later I Still Remember Him - Business Insider</title> <meta charset="UTF-8"> <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1" > <meta name="title" content="I grew up poor and couldn't afford things other kids could. A teacher went out of his way to make me feel included." > <meta name="datePublished" content="2024-11-03T16:49:01Z" > <meta name="dateModified" content="2024-11-04T17:36:26Z" > <meta name="news_keywords" content="Education, as told to, Parenting" > <meta name="description" content="I grew up poor and couldn't afford things my classmates could. One teacher "randomly" picked me to earn money so I could have lunch with everyone. 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She worked for an insurance company, a jeweler, and a hotel.We didn't qualify for health insurance, so she had to make sure she was earning enough to pay for visits to the doctor.Despite her long hours at work, we were always poor. I remember Mom telling us to only use our asthma pumps if our lips were going blue because she couldn't afford to buy new ones.In the late 1970s, New Orleans teachers went on strike. No one knew how long the strikes would last, but there were rumors they could go on for a year. My mom was petrified about how our education would be affected by the strike, so she asked the local Catholic school if my sister and I could attend at a reduced rate.They worked out a deal with my mom that she'd only have to pay for one child's tuition. The nuns provided us with our uniforms for free, and we had free breakfast and lunch at school.But paying for school meant my mom had to work even longer hours. She'd work late into the night and leave early in the morning, and we didn't see her as much.We often didn't have money for groceries, and our electricity and water were cut off at points. I was effectively my sister's caregiver, ensuring we both got home safely after school, did our homework, ate, and got ready for school the next day.Anytime there was a school field trip or special event, I didn't even bother to ask my mom. I knew we couldn't afford it.Whenever I had to miss something or couldn't afford to pay for a money request in school, I learned the best thing to do was to look down at my shoes or hands so I couldn't see when people were staring. I was just resigned that this was how it would go. I would never be able to do what the other children could.My fourth-grade teacher once gave everyone in my class a photocopied menu from McDonald's. We were told to take it home, choose what we wanted, and bring our order back with money.The next day, I brought in my packed lunch, knowing it was the day for McDonald's. If anyone asked, I would just say I forgot. Everyone except me brought in their order and money. Like always, I just looked down, avoiding stares. If I was quiet about it, hopefully no one would notice.In my homeroom class, my teacher asked who'd like to earn extra money for McDonald's. Everyone raised their hands, including me. He closed his eyes, spun around, and \"randomly\" pointed at me.I did the chores, and he took some money out of his wallet and put it into the class's collection.When the order came, my teacher had drawn a happy face on my bag, with a note that read: \"You're a good kid.\"I didn't have the vocabulary to express the compassion and dignity my teacher gave me that day. I often think about how Mr. Heifetz made me feel like a regular kid.When I posted about Mr. Heifetz on Threads, many teachers told me they wished they had the freedom to make a difference in not just the classes but the lives of their students. They said they're being told not to get involved and not to get personal.Countless other users told me their own stories of childhood teachers who made a difference in their lives.People are desperate for kindness right now when the world is filled with so much of the opposite. 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A teacher went out of his way to make me feel included.</h1> </section> <section class="byline-wrapper "> <div class="byline " data-e2e-name="byline" > <div class="byline-content" data-e2e-name="byline-content" > <div class="byline-row"> <div class="byline-author-container"> <div class="byline-author headline-regular"> <span class="" data-e2e-name="Lauren Crosby Medlicott" > <span class="headline-regular">As told to </span><a class="byline-link byline-author-name" data-e2e-name="byline-author-name" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/author/lauren-crosby-medlicott" >Lauren Crosby Medlicott</a></span> </div> <time class="byline-timestamp headline-regular js-date-format" data-timestamp="2024-11-03T16:49:01Z" data-e2e-name="byline-timestamp" data-disable-relative-formatting > 2024-11-03T16:49:01Z </time> </div> </div> </div> </div> <section class="sharebar " data-component-type="share" data-location=""> <div class="share-button-dropdown-wrapper"> <button class="share-button sharebar-link headline-regular"><svg class="svg-icon share-icon " role="img" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="1em" height="1em" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 12 12"> <defs/> <title>Share icon</title> <desc>An curved arrow pointing right.</desc> <path fill-rule="evenodd" d="M7.336 8.014l4.2-3.5-4.2-3.5v2.8h-2.54c-1.948 0-3.526 1.567-3.526 3.5v3.16h1.469v-3.16a2.05 2.05 0 012.056-2.042h2.54v2.742z" clip-rule="evenodd"/> </svg> <span class="button-text">Share</span> </button> <div class="share-dropdown-menu dropdown-menu"> <span class="dropdown-menu-item"> <span class="share-link facebook " data-facebook data-href="https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.businessinsider.com%2Fmy-teacher-made-me-feel-included-2024-11&utmSource=facebook&utmContent=referral&utmTerm=topbar&referrer=facebook" label="facebook" title="Share on Facebook" aria-label="Click to share on Facebook" data-share-link data-flip-widget="" data-track-element="story" data-track-event-label="facebook" data-href-share="https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.businessinsider.com%2Fmy-teacher-made-me-feel-included-2024-11&utmSource=facebook&utmContent=referral&utmTerm=topbar&referrer=facebook" data-e2e-name="share-link-facebook" data-utm-term="" target="_blank" > <span class="dropdown-icon"><svg class="svg-icon social-facebook-icon " role="img" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="1em" height="1em" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-labelledby="Facebook" > <path fill="currentColor" d="M22 12.037C22 6.494 17.523 2 12 2S2 6.494 2 12.037c0 4.707 3.229 8.656 7.584 9.741v-6.674H7.522v-3.067h2.062v-1.322c0-3.416 1.54-5 4.882-5 .634 0 1.727.125 2.174.25v2.78a12.807 12.807 0 0 0-1.155-.037c-1.64 0-2.273.623-2.273 2.244v1.085h3.266l-.561 3.067h-2.705V22C18.163 21.4 22 17.168 22 12.037Z"/> </svg></span> <span class="dropdown-text headline-regular">Facebook</span> </span> </span> <span class="dropdown-menu-item"> <a class="share-link email " data-email data-share-link href="mailto:?subject=I grew up poor and couldn't afford things other kids could. 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data-e2e-name="image-caption" > <span class="image-caption-text">A teacher helps out his student with her work</span> <span class="image-source-text"> <span class="image-source headline-regular" data-e2e-name="image-source" itemprop="creditText" > <a href="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/teacher-walking-from-student-to-student-and-royalty-free-image/1329102012?phrase=male+teacher%2C+inclusion" class="image-source-link not-content-link" rel="nofollow" > Dobrila Vignjevic/Getty Images </a> </span> </span> </figcaption> </span> </figure> <div class="inline-backup-paywall desktop" data-component-type="inline-backup-paywall" style="display:none"> <span class="headline-semibold subscription-msg">This story is available exclusively to Business Insider subscribers. <a href="/subscription" class="subscription-link">Become an Insider</a> and start reading now.</span> <span class="headline-regular login-prompt">Have an account? <button class="login-prompt-btn">Log in</button>.</span> </div> <div> <section class="post-content typography " data-track-content="" data-post-type="post" > <div id="piano-inline-content-wrapper" data-piano-inline-content-wrapper data-user-status="anonymous" > <div data-component-type="content-lock" data-load-strategy="exclude"> <div class="content-lock-content"> <div class="in-post-sticky only-desktop"><div class="ad-callout-wrapper only-desktop"> <div class="ad-label headline-regular only-desktop">Advertisement</div> <div data-bi-ad="" id="gpt-post-education-desktop_in_post_ad-desktop-fluid-1" class="ad ad-wrapper fluid in-post only-desktop" data-force="" data-type="ad" data-adunit="businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-1/education" data-secvert="" data-tag="as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness" data-authors="lauren-crosby-medlicott" data-region="Desktop In Post Ad" data-responsive="[{"browserLimit":[728,0],"slotSize":[[300,250],"fluid"]},{"browserLimit":[1260,0],"slotSize":[[728,90],[300,250],[800,480],[600,480],"fluid"]}]" data-tile-order="tile-1" data-url="/my-teacher-made-me-feel-included-2024-11" data-template="default" data-targeting="{"adunit":"businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-1/education","region":"Desktop In Post Ad","tag":"as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness","template":"default","dvp_spos":"in-content-1","rawvert":""}" data-amazontamsizes="[[728,90],[300,250]]" data-not-lazy="" data-enable-ad-refresher="true" data-refresh-count="0"></div> </div></div><ul class="summary-list"><li>Dixie La Pierre, 55, remembers what it was like to grow up poor in New Orleans.</li><li>When she was 10, her class ordered from McDonald's, which she knew her mother couldn't afford.</li><li>Her teacher "randomly" selected her to do chores so she could also participate in the class treat.</li></ul><p>Growing up, my <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/single-parent-loneliness-no-partner-202404" data-analytics-product-module="body_link" rel="">mom was a single parent</a> to me and my younger sister in New Orleans. Throughout my childhood, my mom worked between three and four jobs at a time to provide for our family. She worked for an insurance company, a jeweler, and a hotel.</p><p>We didn't <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-get-medical-bills-reduced-negotiate-challenge-payment-plan-2024-9" data-analytics-product-module="body_link" rel="">qualify for health insurance</a>, so she had to make sure she was earning enough to pay for visits to the doctor.</p><div class="in-post-sticky only-desktop"><div class="ad-callout-wrapper only-desktop"> <div class="ad-label headline-regular only-desktop">Advertisement</div> <div data-bi-ad="" id="gpt-post-education-desktop_in_post_ad-desktop-fluid-2" class="ad ad-wrapper fluid in-post only-desktop" data-force="" data-type="ad" data-adunit="businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-2/education" data-secvert="" data-tag="as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness" data-authors="lauren-crosby-medlicott" data-region="Desktop In Post Ad" data-responsive="[{"browserLimit":[728,0],"slotSize":[[300,250],"fluid"]},{"browserLimit":[1260,0],"slotSize":[[728,90],[300,250],[800,480],[600,480],"fluid"]}]" data-tile-order="tile-2" data-url="/my-teacher-made-me-feel-included-2024-11" data-template="default" data-targeting="{"adunit":"businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-2/education","region":"Desktop In Post Ad","tag":"as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness","template":"default","dvp_spos":"in-content-2","rawvert":""}" data-amazontamsizes="[[728,90],[300,250]]" data-enable-ad-refresher="true" data-refresh-count="0"></div> </div></div><p>Despite her long hours at work, <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/millionaires-billionaires-who-came-from-nothing-rags-to-riches-stories-2019-7" data-analytics-product-module="body_link" rel="">we were always poor</a>. I remember Mom telling us to only use our asthma pumps if our lips were going blue because she couldn't afford to buy new ones.</p><h2 id="575594bf-4cce-49cb-997b-60d5eddf7a7e" data-toc-id="575594bf-4cce-49cb-997b-60d5eddf7a7e">My mom had to work long hours to send us to school</h2><p>In the late 1970s, New Orleans teachers went on strike. No one knew how long the strikes would last, but there were rumors they could go on for a year. My mom was petrified about how our education would be affected by the strike, so she asked the <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/greta-gerwig-says-her-catholic-upbringing-influenced-barbie-scenes-2023-7" data-analytics-product-module="body_link" rel="">local Catholic school</a> if my sister and I could attend at a reduced rate.</p><p>They worked out a deal with my mom that she'd only have to pay for one child's tuition. The nuns <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/school-uniforms-around-the-world-2017-7" data-analytics-product-module="body_link" rel="">provided us with our uniforms</a> for free, and we had free breakfast and lunch at school.</p><div class="in-post-sticky only-desktop"><div class="ad-callout-wrapper only-desktop"> <div class="ad-label headline-regular only-desktop">Advertisement</div> <div data-bi-ad="" id="gpt-post-education-desktop_in_post_ad-desktop-fluid-3" class="ad ad-wrapper fluid in-post only-desktop" data-force="" data-type="ad" data-adunit="businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-3/education" data-secvert="" data-tag="as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness" data-authors="lauren-crosby-medlicott" data-region="Desktop In Post Ad" data-responsive="[{"browserLimit":[728,0],"slotSize":[[300,250],"fluid"]},{"browserLimit":[1260,0],"slotSize":[[728,90],[300,250],[800,480],[600,480],"fluid"]}]" data-tile-order="tile-3" data-url="/my-teacher-made-me-feel-included-2024-11" data-template="default" data-targeting="{"adunit":"businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-3/education","region":"Desktop In Post Ad","tag":"as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness","template":"default","dvp_spos":"in-content-3","rawvert":""}" data-amazontamsizes="[[728,90],[300,250]]" data-enable-ad-refresher="true" data-refresh-count="0"></div> </div></div><p>But paying for school meant my <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/working-mom-two-jobs-burned-out-no-work-life-balance-2024-1" data-analytics-product-module="body_link" rel="">mom had to work even longer hours</a>. She'd work late into the night and leave early in the morning, and we didn't see her as much.</p><p>We often didn't have money for groceries, and our electricity and water were cut off at points. I was effectively my sister's caregiver, ensuring we both got home safely after school, did our homework, ate, and got ready for school the next day.</p><h2 id="59adf685-9aa1-4336-8f46-6744aeaca2c7" data-toc-id="59adf685-9aa1-4336-8f46-6744aeaca2c7">We couldn't afford field trips or special events</h2><p>Anytime there was a school field trip or special event, I didn't even bother to ask my mom. I knew we couldn't afford it.</p><div class="in-post-sticky only-desktop"><div class="ad-callout-wrapper only-desktop"> <div class="ad-label headline-regular only-desktop">Advertisement</div> <div data-bi-ad="" id="gpt-post-education-desktop_in_post_ad-desktop-fluid-4" class="ad ad-wrapper fluid in-post only-desktop" data-force="" data-type="ad" data-adunit="businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-4-plus/education" data-secvert="" data-tag="as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness" data-authors="lauren-crosby-medlicott" data-region="Desktop In Post Ad" data-responsive="[{"browserLimit":[728,0],"slotSize":[[300,250],"fluid"]},{"browserLimit":[1260,0],"slotSize":[[728,90],[300,250],[800,480],[600,480],"fluid"]}]" data-tile-order="tile-4" data-url="/my-teacher-made-me-feel-included-2024-11" data-template="default" data-targeting="{"adunit":"businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-4-plus/education","region":"Desktop In Post Ad","tag":"as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness","template":"default","dvp_spos":"in-content-4-plus","rawvert":""}" data-amazontamsizes="[[728,90],[300,250]]" data-enable-ad-refresher="true" data-refresh-count="0"></div> </div></div><p>Whenever I had to miss something or couldn't afford to pay for a money request in school, I learned the best thing to do was to look down at my shoes or hands so I couldn't see when people were staring. I was just resigned that this was how it would go. I would never be able to do what the other children could.</p><p>My fourth-grade teacher once gave everyone in my class a photocopied menu from McDonald's. We were told to take it home, choose what we wanted, and bring our order back with money.</p><p>The next day, I brought in my packed lunch, knowing it was the day for McDonald's. If anyone asked, I would just say I forgot. Everyone except me brought in their order and money. Like always, I just looked down, avoiding stares. If I was quiet about it, hopefully no one would notice.</p><div class="in-post-sticky only-desktop"><div class="ad-callout-wrapper only-desktop"> <div class="ad-label headline-regular only-desktop">Advertisement</div> <div data-bi-ad="" id="gpt-post-education-desktop_in_post_ad-desktop-fluid-5" class="ad ad-wrapper fluid in-post only-desktop" data-force="" data-type="ad" data-adunit="businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-4-plus/education" data-secvert="" data-tag="as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness" data-authors="lauren-crosby-medlicott" data-region="Desktop In Post Ad" data-responsive="[{"browserLimit":[728,0],"slotSize":[[300,250],"fluid"]},{"browserLimit":[1260,0],"slotSize":[[728,90],[300,250],[800,480],[600,480],"fluid"]}]" data-tile-order="tile-5" data-url="/my-teacher-made-me-feel-included-2024-11" data-template="default" data-targeting="{"adunit":"businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-4-plus/education","region":"Desktop In Post Ad","tag":"as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness","template":"default","dvp_spos":"in-content-4-plus","rawvert":""}" data-amazontamsizes="[[728,90],[300,250]]" data-enable-ad-refresher="true" data-refresh-count="0"></div> </div></div><h2 id="b746d8ed-341e-464f-953a-ab0fd7597156" data-toc-id="b746d8ed-341e-464f-953a-ab0fd7597156">My teacher 'randomly' selected me to earn money</h2><p>In my homeroom class, my teacher asked who'd like to earn extra money for McDonald's. Everyone raised their hands, including me. He closed his eyes, spun around, and "randomly" pointed at me.</p> <section class="dad-related-posts-component at-inline related-posts " data-component-type="dad-related-posts" data-delay-third-party-scripts="true" data-size="2" data-container-index="in_content_recirc_1" data-included-verticals="education" data-placement="inline" data-prevent-collision="true" data-excluded-verticals="bi-video" data-root-margin="250px 0px" data-track-view="{"event":"module_in_view","element_name":"in_content_recirc","subscription_experience":"bi_value_unassigned","product_field":"in_content_recirc_1"}"> <div class="content-recommendations-title-container"> <h2 class="content-recommendations-title headline-semibold ignore-typography "> Related stories </h2> </div> <div class="dad-related-posts-container content-recommendations-container"></div> </section><p>I did the chores, and he took some money out of his wallet and put it into the class's collection.</p><p>When the order came, my teacher had drawn a happy face on my bag, with a note that read: "You're a good kid."</p><div class="in-post-sticky only-desktop"><div class="ad-callout-wrapper only-desktop"> <div class="ad-label headline-regular only-desktop">Advertisement</div> <div data-bi-ad="" id="gpt-post-education-desktop_in_post_ad-desktop-fluid-6" class="ad ad-wrapper fluid in-post only-desktop" data-force="" data-type="ad" data-adunit="businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-4-plus/education" data-secvert="" data-tag="as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness" data-authors="lauren-crosby-medlicott" data-region="Desktop In Post Ad" data-responsive="[{"browserLimit":[728,0],"slotSize":[[300,250],"fluid"]},{"browserLimit":[1260,0],"slotSize":[[728,90],[300,250],[800,480],[600,480],"fluid"]}]" data-tile-order="tile-6" data-url="/my-teacher-made-me-feel-included-2024-11" data-template="default" data-targeting="{"adunit":"businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-4-plus/education","region":"Desktop In Post Ad","tag":"as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness","template":"default","dvp_spos":"in-content-4-plus","rawvert":""}" data-amazontamsizes="[[728,90],[300,250]]" data-enable-ad-refresher="true" data-refresh-count="0"></div> </div></div><p>I didn't have the vocabulary to express the compassion and dignity my teacher gave me that day. I often think about how Mr. Heifetz made me feel like a regular kid.</p><p>When I posted about Mr. Heifetz <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.threads.net/@bestcrispair/post/DBILXFdRbFc?xmt=AQGznB0dAPGlkIPo5MtRlDsD_Ew0acNn_MDm-ypKm6_vHw" data-analytics-product-module="body_link" rel=" nofollow">on Threads</a>, many teachers told me they wished they had the freedom to make a difference in not just the classes but the lives of their students. They said they're being told not to get involved and not to get personal.</p><p>Countless other users told me their own stories of childhood teachers who made a difference in their lives.</p><div class="in-post-sticky only-desktop"><div class="ad-callout-wrapper only-desktop"> <div class="ad-label headline-regular only-desktop">Advertisement</div> <div data-bi-ad="" id="gpt-post-education-desktop_in_post_ad-desktop-fluid-7" class="ad ad-wrapper fluid in-post only-desktop" data-force="" data-type="ad" data-adunit="businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-4-plus/education" data-secvert="" data-tag="as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness" data-authors="lauren-crosby-medlicott" data-region="Desktop In Post Ad" data-responsive="[{"browserLimit":[728,0],"slotSize":[[300,250],"fluid"]},{"browserLimit":[1260,0],"slotSize":[[728,90],[300,250],[800,480],[600,480],"fluid"]}]" data-tile-order="tile-7" data-url="/my-teacher-made-me-feel-included-2024-11" data-template="default" data-targeting="{"adunit":"businessinsider.desktop/post/in-content-4-plus/education","region":"Desktop In Post Ad","tag":"as-told-to,parenting,parenting-freelancer,random-act-of-kindness","template":"default","dvp_spos":"in-content-4-plus","rawvert":""}" data-amazontamsizes="[[728,90],[300,250]]" data-enable-ad-refresher="true" data-refresh-count="0"></div> </div></div><p>People are desperate for kindness right now when the world is filled with so much of the opposite. 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