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hc hd bf he hf hg hh hi hj hk hl hm hn ho hp hq hr hs ht hu hv bk" data-testid="storyTitle">When Parenting Allows for Healing the Inner Child</h1></div><div><h2 id="d6f0" class="pw-subtitle-paragraph hw hc hd bf b hx hy hz ia ib ic id ie if ig ih ii ij ik il cq du">The duality of experiencing loss and gratitude</h2><div><div class="speechify-ignore ab cp"><div class="speechify-ignore bh l"><div class="im in io ip iq ab"><div><div class="ab ir"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><a rel="noopener follow" href="/@mustiwrite?source=post_page---byline--a73665cc6dae--------------------------------"><div class="l is it by iu iv"><div class="l fj"><img alt="Sandy Maximus" class="l fd by dd de cx" src="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:88:88/1*y3rzIdRI2eq8bqFVc4CIfw@2x.jpeg" width="44" height="44" loading="lazy" data-testid="authorPhoto"/><div class="iw by l dd de fs n ix ft"></div></div></div></a></div></div><div class="iy ab fj"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><a 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(max-width: 700px) 50vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 4) and (max-width: 700px) 50vw, (min-resolution: 3dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 67vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3) and (max-width: 700px) 65vw, (min-resolution: 2.5dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2.5) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (min-resolution: 2dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px"/><img alt="A mother on a bench with her two children" class="bh mt nz c" width="700" height="339" loading="eager"/></picture></div></div><figcaption class="oa ff ob nm nn oc od bf b bg z du">Photo by <a class="af oe" href="https://unsplash.com/@benjaminmanley?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">Benjamin Manley</a> on <a class="af oe" href="https://unsplash.com/?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral" rel="noopener ugc nofollow" target="_blank">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="87fe" class="pw-post-body-paragraph of og hd oh b hx oi oj ok ia ol om on oo op oq or os ot ou ov ow ox oy oz pa gw bk pb"><span class="l pc pd pe bo pf pg ph pi pj fj">O</span>ne of the recurring and dominant memories I have of my growing-up years is having to do things for myself from a young age. If there was a class project, I independently shopped for the supplies and worked on the project. If there was a school play, I worked on my costume. If my father was out of town, there was no audience for my play either.</p><p id="15c8" class="pw-post-body-paragraph of og hd oh b hx oi oj ok ia ol om on oo op oq or os ot ou ov ow ox oy oz pa gw bk">I became my mother’s errand girl. My mother would give me cash and send me to run errands. I would zip off on my bicycle to the post office, the bank, the supermarket, the coffee mill, the shoe repair store, the framing shop, the doctor’s office, and the pharmacy to name a few.</p><p id="ba98" class="pw-post-body-paragraph of og hd oh b hx oi oj ok ia ol om on oo op oq or os ot ou ov ow ox oy oz pa gw bk">My mother couldn’t drive. I would travel to school on the public buses, sometimes groped by men; while my friends would get dropped off by their parents or in their chauffeur-driver cars. Later in high school, my father bought me a moped, and I was independent before it was legal to drive a motorcycle or car. <em class="pk">(How I got a driver’s license is a story for another day.)</em></p><p id="3da5" class="pw-post-body-paragraph of og hd oh b hx oi oj ok ia ol om on oo op oq or os ot ou ov ow ox oy oz pa gw bk"><em class="pk">Don’t bring out the violin for me yet.</em></p><p id="1559" class="pw-post-body-paragraph of og hd oh b hx oi oj ok ia ol om on oo op oq or os ot ou ov ow ox oy oz pa gw bk">To put things into context, I grew up in India in the 1980s and 1990s — the pre-internet era. My father was the “provider” who worked as a sailor for prolonged…</p></div></div></div></div></section></div></div></article></div><div class="l"></div><footer class="pl pm pn po pp pq pr ps gv ab q pt jb c"><div class="l ae"><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div class="ab cp pu"><div class="ab q ll"><div class="pv l"><span class="l pw px py e d"><div class="ab q ll lm"><div class="pw-multi-vote-icon fj gt ln lo lp"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="footerClapButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?actionUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F_%2Fvote%2Fblack-bear-recovery%2Fa73665cc6dae&operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2Fblack-bear-recovery%2Fwhen-parenting-allows-for-healing-the-inner-child-a73665cc6dae&user=Sandy+Maximus&userId=c171cf493d6b&source=---footer_actions--a73665cc6dae---------------------clap_footer-----------"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><div class="lq ao lr ls lt lu am lv lw lx 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