Uncertainty Requires Connection

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class="blog-entry__title--full"> Uncertainty Requires Connection </h1> <h2 class="blog-entry__subtitle--full"> Resilience isn’t a solo struggle with immediate results. </h2> <p class="blog-entry__date--full fine-print"> Updated <span class="blog_entry--date">January 31, 2025</span> <span class="blog_entry--full__review-info"> <span class="blog_entry--full__review-info-bar">|</span> <a href="/us/docs/editorial-process" class="blog_entry--full__review-info-link"> <span class="blog_entry--full__review-info-icon"></span> <span class="blog_entry--full__review-info-text">Reviewed by Lybi Ma</span> </a> </span> </p> <div class="pt-social-media blog-entry-divider"> <ul class="share-buttons"> <li> <a title="Share on Facebook" class="facebook-share-button open-dialog" target="_blank" data-lang="en" 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class="blog-entry--body"> <div class="blog-entry--body-first"> <div class="d-none d-xl-block"> <div class="pathways_card" > <div class="pathways_card__header"> <span class="pathways_card__title_verified"></span> <div class="h3 pathways_card__title">THE BASICS</div> </div> <ul> <li class="swatch-primary"> <a href="/us/basics/resilience" class="swatch-primary font-semi-bold" hreflang="en">What Is Resilience?</a> </li> <li class="swatch-primary"> <a href="/us/tests/personality/resilience-test" class="swatch-primary font-semi-bold" hreflang="en">Take our Resilience Test</a> </li> <li class="swatch-primary"> <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists" class="swatch-primary font-semi-bold">Find a therapist near me</a> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> <div class="blog-entry--body-second"> <div class="blog_entry__key-points"> <h3 class="blog_entry__key-points-title">Key points</h3> <ul class="blog_entry__key-points-item-list"> <li class="blog_entry__key-points-item">Resilience is about connection and shared purpose, not solo struggle.</li> <li class="blog_entry__key-points-item">Facing uncertainty requires engaging honestly with emotions, not bypassing them.</li> <li class="blog_entry__key-points-item">We can find solace in the goodness taking place around us.</li> <li class="blog_entry__key-points-item">Hope lies in trusting the larger unfolding, not on immediate results</li> </ul> </div> <div class="field-name-body"> <p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anxiety" title="Psychology Today looks at Anxiety" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">Anxiety</a> is a natural reaction to major, sudden changes, whether from high-stakes elections or unexpected shifts at work, like when cherished projects are shelved or <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/leadership" title="Psychology Today looks at leadership" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">leadership</a> transitions stir up uncertainty. </p> <p>Traditional advice often frames <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/resilience" title="Psychology Today looks at resilience" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">resilience</a> as a <a href="https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2023/07/11/building-resilience-in-the-workplace-strategies-for-success/">solo endeavor</a>: adopt a <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/growth-mindset" title="Psychology Today looks at growth mindset" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">growth mindset</a>, practice self-care, or accept that it is what it is. But real resilience is rooted in connection and shared purpose, not in going it alone.</p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-0" data-slot-position="0"></div> <div class="insertArea ck-widget"> <div class="image-article-inline-half"> <div class="insert-inner"> <div class="insert-image"><img class="image-article_inline_half_caption" alt="Matheus Pexels Bertelli" data-insert-type="image" height="123" src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/article_inline_half_caption/public/field_blog_entry_images/2024-11/BlackSisters-Matheus-Bertelli-Pexels-573317.jpg?itok=ZXMrtnKn" title="Matheus Pexels Bertelli" width="320"></div> <div class="caption"> </div> <div class="insertArea--origin subtext">Source: Matheus Pexels Bertelli</div> </div> </div> </div> <h2><strong>Thomas Merton’s Vision for Resilience</strong></h2> <p>During difficult times in both work and life, I’ve often returned to the words of Thomas Merton, a Christian monk and author: “Do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the fact that your work will be worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, and the truth of the work itself. You gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything.”</p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-1" data-slot-position="1"></div> <p>Merton reminds us that focusing on outcomes—electoral, professional, or personal—is fragile ground and often beyond our control. Instead, we can find firmer footing in the goodness of our efforts and the strength of our connections.</p> <h2><strong>Widening the Aperture</strong></h2> <p>It’s perfectly okay–and a sign that you care–to feel disappointed or upset for a while. Forcing <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/optimism" title="Psychology Today looks at optimism" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">optimism</a> isn’t helpful. But over time, we can gently open ourselves to a broader story. This idea is at the heart of <a href="https://reasonstobecheerful.world/">Reasons to Be Cheerful</a>, a website and newsletter that invites readers to move beyond the negativity <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bias" title="Psychology Today looks at bias" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">bias</a> prevalent in mainstream media. It highlights inspiring stories of people like us working to make the world better—through <a href="https://wearenotdivided.reasonstobecheerful.world/canada-british-columbia-topple-statue-reconciliation/">bridging civic divides</a> or <a href="https://wearenotdivided.reasonstobecheerful.world/how-loggers-helped-environmentalists-save-a-spectacular-canadian-rainforest/">saving forests</a>.</p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-2" data-slot-position="2"></div> <p>During this election, they offered a prompt: “No matter who wins, I __.” This may remind us of our values that transcend any single result. My submission focused on the need to create more belonging and reduce division in my communities, large and small. Reading through the <a href="https://reasonstobecheerful.world/one-question-109-responses-no-matter-who-wins-_____________/?utm_source=Reasons+to+be+Cheerful&utm_campaign=082d1d1303-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2024_09_01_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_89fb038efe-082d1d1303-389659673">responses</a> afterward was a tender reminder that we are all part of a larger, interconnected story.</p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-3" data-slot-position="3"></div> <h2><strong>Resilience Through Relationships</strong></h2> <p>In the workplace, resilience is about personal relationships. When change occurs, I too feel the instinct to retreat inward or downplay my pain with phrases like, “It is what it is.” But true resilience doesn’t bypass emotions; it faces them honestly and recommits to our enduring values. As Merton suggests, this is best achieved by turning outward to find solidarity with others. With time and this foundation of connection, we can approach the world with greater curiosity and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/creativity" title="Psychology Today looks at creativity" class="basics-link" hreflang="en-US">creativity</a>, whether we’re navigating a new manager or a new presidential administration.</p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-4" data-slot-position="4"></div> <p>Rebecca Solnit’s <em>Hope in the Dark</em> mirrors this powerful perspective. She reminds us that hope isn’t a passive wish but an active engagement with uncertainty. It’s rooted in the belief that our collective actions contribute to meaningful change, even if the results aren’t immediately visible. The darkness she describes isn’t bleakness but the unknown — a space of possibility. This idea reinforces that resilience means staying true to our values and shared efforts, trusting that the future may unfold in ways we can’t yet predict.</p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-5" data-slot-position="5"></div> <h2><strong>Practical Steps for Resilience</strong></h2> <ol> <li><strong>Slow Down</strong>: Take time to process change. One breath at a time is a good pace. You might try to remind yourself that uncertainty brings challenges and unknown and unexpected possibilities.</li> <li><strong>Turn Toward Each Other</strong>: Share how you feel and be a supportive listener for others. This can deepen relationships and create ongoing channels of mutual comfort and strength.</li> <li><strong>Still Be You</strong>: Take small, meaningful actions that reflect your core values. Help a colleague, volunteer, buy coffee for a stranger, bring cookies to the office, or offer a simple word of kindness and encouragement.</li> </ol> <div class="d-xl-none pathways_card" > <div class="pathways_card__header"> <span class="pathways_card__title_verified"></span> <div class="h3 pathways_card__title">THE BASICS</div> </div> <ul> <li class="swatch-primary"> <a href="/us/basics/resilience" class="swatch-primary font-semi-bold" hreflang="en">What Is Resilience?</a> </li> <li class="swatch-primary"> <a href="/us/tests/personality/resilience-test" class="swatch-primary font-semi-bold" hreflang="en">Take our Resilience Test</a> </li> <li class="swatch-primary"> <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists" class="swatch-primary font-semi-bold">Find a therapist near me</a> </li> </ul> </div> <h2><strong>The Truth About Resilience</strong></h2> <p>Ultimately, resilience can’t be a solitary endeavor. No meaningful work is ever done alone. It’s about drawing strength from one another and finding hope in our shared purpose. In these connections — and the enduring hope described by Merton, <em>Reasons to Be Cheerful</em>, and Solnit — we find the strength to keep moving forward together.<br> </p> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-7" data-slot-position="7"></div> <div class="insertArea ck-widget"> <div class="image-article-inline-half"> <div class="insert-inner"> <div class="insert-image"><img class="image-article_inline_half_caption" alt="James Baldwin / Unsplash" data-insert-type="image" height="480" src="https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/article_inline_half_caption/public/field_blog_entry_images/2024-11/photo-1496516348160-24b35a31856f%20(1).jpeg.jpg?itok=PJ3aJzAT" title="James Baldwin / Unsplash" width="320"></div> <div class="caption"> </div> <div class="insertArea--origin subtext">Source: James Baldwin / Unsplash</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="markup-replacement-slot markup-replacement-slot-last" data-slot-position="last"></div> </div> <div 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