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Coming Out Guides | Yale LGBTQ Center
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LGBT with rainbow butterfly" /> </div> </div> <div class="cta-banner__content"> <div class="cta-banner__outer-wrap"> <div class="cta-banner__wrap"> <div class="cta-banner__text"> <h2 class="cta-banner__heading"> Coming Out Guides </h2> <div class="cta-banner__snippet"></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="layout layout--onecol"> <div > <div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="layout layout--onecol"> <div class="layout__region layout__region--content"> <div data-component-width="site" data-component-alignment="left" data-component-variation="default" class="text-field"> <div class="text-field__inner"> <div class="text"> <h2>Coming Out is the process in which an individual accepts and identifies with their gender identity and/or sexual orientation and shares their identity willingly with others. </h2> <p>Coming out and living openly isn’t something you do once- it’s a journey that LGBTQ people make every single day of their lives. People may be “out” in some spaces and “in” in others. Every coming out experience is unique and must be navigated in the way most comfortable for the individual. A decision to disclose is one of safety, comfort, trust, and readiness. Whether it’s for the first time or the the first time today, coming out can be an arduous journey. It is a brave decision to live openly and authentically. The Yale LGBTQ Center is happy to support you wherever you are own your own journey.</p> <h3>Living Authentically for the First Time</h3> <p>When you are ready to tell that first person about your sexual orientation or gender identity — or even those first few people — give yourself plenty of time to prepare. Think through your options and make a deliberate plan of who, what, why, and how. Remember that if you do not choose to come out now, or ever, your identity and experiences are still legitimate and valuable. You get to decide what is right for you. </p> <p>The <a href="http://hrc.org/">Human Rights Campaign</a> has developed a number of “Coming Out Guides” to help you navigate your process. We will have a limited supply of these in print in the Yale LGBTQ Center or you access the digital copies below:</p> </div> </div> </div> <div data-component-width="site" data-component-tile-style="heading" data-component-alignment="center" data-component-vertical-alignment="bottom" data-component-grid-count="two" data-component-tiles-have-images="false" class="tiles"> <div class="tiles__inner"> <ul class="tiles__wrap"> <li data-component-linked-tile="true" data-component-tile-style="heading" data-component-alignment="center" data-component-vertical-alignment="bottom" data-component-theme="one" data-component-has-image="true" class="tile__item"> <div class="tile__item__inner"> <div class="tile__item__heading"> Living Authentically as Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual+ </div> <a data-link-style="underline-with-icon" data-link-type="external" class="tile__item__link tile__item__link--with-icon" href="https://reports.hrc.org/coming-out-living-authentically-as-lgb"> <p>Coming Out Guide</p></a> <div class="tile__item__image"> <img loading="eager" srcset="/sites/default/files/styles/3_2_175/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=zRQalfB7 175w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_320/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=mcfItzYt 320w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_480/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=rDDB7Elg 480w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_540/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=eOCoqHkY 540w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_640/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=0-zbK9bc 640w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_800/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=888jlPaU 800w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_960/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=LyRtxNMz 960w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1120/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=159mOdC6 1120w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1280/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=XuheHI2c 1280w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1440/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=QLcNsSvP 1440w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1600/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=zMoIBLn4 1600w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1760/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=eMpYmJDZ 1760w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1920/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=BwyOmvGJ 1920w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_2080/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=iPU8W7SW 2080w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_2240/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=QyX8Umr2 2240w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_2400/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=afpH1XPX 2400w" sizes="(min-width: 1344px) 480px, (min-width: 500px) 320px, (min-width: 400px) 175px, 100vw" width="960" height="640" src="/sites/default/files/styles/3_2_320/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.27.17%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=a49f1c45&itok=mcfItzYt" alt="three LGB+ people within a rainbow gradient" /> </div> </div> </li> <li data-component-linked-tile="true" data-component-tile-style="heading" data-component-alignment="center" data-component-vertical-alignment="bottom" data-component-theme="one" data-component-has-image="true" class="tile__item"> <div class="tile__item__inner"> <div class="tile__item__heading"> Living Authentically as Transgender or Non-Binary </div> <a data-link-style="underline-with-icon" data-link-type="external" class="tile__item__link tile__item__link--with-icon" href="https://reports.hrc.org/coming-out-living-authentically-as-transgender-non-binary"> <p>Coming Out Guide</p></a> <div class="tile__item__image"> <img loading="eager" srcset="/sites/default/files/styles/3_2_175/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=2Yr3n9Pi 175w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_320/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=Njm6OJ1_ 320w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_480/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=-n_o2IG8 480w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_540/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=BObBQ-sP 540w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_640/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=MykXi-yt 640w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_800/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=27wb4u38 800w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_960/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=uVhIxbRH 960w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1120/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=eZpXyoi7 1120w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1280/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=ca9Mdp6V 1280w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1440/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=FZiV0jEs 1440w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1600/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=cKr8cl7i 1600w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1760/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=LV0D8T83 1760w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_1920/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=jUmBuyUB 1920w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_2080/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=Fpy37_WW 2080w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_2240/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=SvaRySl4 2240w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_2_2400/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=_m01uj0x 2400w" sizes="(min-width: 1344px) 480px, (min-width: 500px) 320px, (min-width: 400px) 175px, 100vw" width="960" height="640" src="/sites/default/files/styles/3_2_320/public/2024-06/Screenshot%202024-06-27%20at%204.28.59%E2%80%AFPM.png?h=c5356344&itok=Njm6OJ1_" alt="two nonbinary and/or trans people in front of tnb flags" /> </div> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> <div data-quick-links-variation="promotional" class="quick-links" data-component-width="site" data-component-theme="one" data-quick-links-layout="fluid"> <div class="quick-links__inner"> <div class="quick-links__text"> <h2 class="quick-links__heading"> Race & Ethnicity</h2> <div class="quick-links__description"><p>These are specially designed for LGBTQ people of color. </p></div> </div> <ul class="quick-links__links"> <li class="quick-links__list-item"> <a data-cta-hover-style="fade" data-cta-radius="none" data-cta-style="outline" data-cta-outline-weight="2" href="https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/Black-ComingOut-Resource-02122020.pdf?_ga=2.216832598.1714507154.1626890848-350505119.1616185189" class="quick-links__cta">Black LGBTQ People</a> </li> <li class="quick-links__list-item"> <a data-cta-hover-style="fade" data-cta-radius="none" data-cta-style="outline" data-cta-outline-weight="2" href="https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/HRC-Coming_Out-API-FINAL-web-2018.pdf?_ga=2.189052779.1714507154.1626890848-350505119.1616185189" class="quick-links__cta">LGBTQ Asian and Pacific Islander Americans</a> </li> <li class="quick-links__list-item"> <a data-cta-hover-style="fade" data-cta-radius="none" data-cta-style="outline" data-cta-outline-weight="2" href="https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/HRC_Coming_Out_Latinx.pdf?_ga=2.247957061.39229143.1641674713-875130863.1640027868" class="quick-links__cta">LGBTQ Latinx Americans</a> </li> </ul> </div> </div> <div data-quick-links-variation="promotional" class="quick-links" data-component-width="site" data-component-theme="one" data-quick-links-layout="fluid"> <div class="quick-links__inner"> <div class="quick-links__text"> <h2 class="quick-links__heading"> Faith & Religion</h2> <div class="quick-links__description"><p>These guides are designed for LGBTQ people reconciling their identity and faith.</p></div> </div> <ul class="quick-links__links"> <li class="quick-links__list-item"> <a data-cta-hover-style="fade" data-cta-radius="none" data-cta-style="outline" data-cta-outline-weight="2" href="https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/Coming_Home.pdf?_ga=2.17702329.1452989223.1579301167-889537539.1576267217" class="quick-links__cta">Faith, Spirit & Self</a> </li> <li class="quick-links__list-item"> <a data-cta-hover-style="fade" data-cta-radius="none" data-cta-style="outline" data-cta-outline-weight="2" href="https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/Coming_Home_Catholicism.pdf?_ga=2.17702329.1452989223.1579301167-889537539.1576267217" class="quick-links__cta">Catholicism</a> </li> <li class="quick-links__list-item"> <a data-cta-hover-style="fade" data-cta-radius="none" data-cta-style="outline" data-cta-outline-weight="2" href="https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/RandF-EvangelicalismGuide-July2018.pdf?_ga=2.54358568.1452989223.1579301167-889537539.1576267217" class="quick-links__cta">Evangelicalism</a> </li> <li class="quick-links__list-item"> <a data-cta-hover-style="fade" data-cta-radius="none" data-cta-style="outline" data-cta-outline-weight="2" href="https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/HRC-MUSLIM_GUIDE.pdf?_ga=2.222590619.1452989223.1579301167-889537539.1576267217" class="quick-links__cta">Islam</a> </li> <li class="quick-links__list-item"> <a data-cta-hover-style="fade" data-cta-radius="none" data-cta-style="outline" data-cta-outline-weight="2" href="https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/Coming_Home_Judaism.pdf?_ga=2.222590619.1452989223.1579301167-889537539.1576267217" class="quick-links__cta">Judaism</a> </li> <li class="quick-links__list-item"> <a data-cta-hover-style="fade" data-cta-radius="none" data-cta-style="outline" data-cta-outline-weight="2" href="https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/HRC-2992_MORMON_Guide_SINGLE.pdf?_ga=2.222590619.1452989223.1579301167-889537539.1576267217" class="quick-links__cta">Mormonism</a> </li> </ul> </div> </div> <div data-component-width="site" class="divider__wrapper"> <div data-divider-position="left" class="divider__inner"> <div data-animate-item="enabled" class="divider" data-divider-width="100"></div> </div> </div> <div data-component-width="site" data-component-alignment="left" data-component-variation="default" class="text-field"> <div class="text-field__inner"> <div class="text"> <h2>If Someone Comes Out to You</h2> <p>People always ask what they should do when someone comes out to them. When a person is considering coming out they may be feeling close enough to you or that they trust you sufficiently enough to be honest or risk losing you as a friend or loved one. It can be difficult to know what to say and what to do to be supportive when someone comes out to you. Below are a few helpful suggestions: </p> <ol> <li>Thank the person for having the courage to tell you. Choosing to tell you means they have a great deal of respect and trust for you.</li> <li>Determine the level of expectations around confidentiality. Do other people know? Or is this a secret?</li> <li>Remember that their sexual orientation, gender identity and/or expression are just a few dimensions of their personhood.</li> <li>Show interest and curiosity about what they are sharing with you, but don’t pry or ask invasive questions.</li> <li>Ask them how you can best support them (i.e. sharing resources, making connections)</li> <li>Check back in on them regularly to see how they are doing.</li> </ol> </div> </div> </div> <div data-component-focus="equal" data-image-position="image-left" data-component-width="site" data-component-theme="default" class="text-with-image"> <div class="text-with-image__inner"> <div class="text-with-image__content"> <h2 class="text-with-image__heading"> Being an LGBTQ+ Ally</h2> <div class="text-with-image__text"> <div><p>As our world embraces more diverse identities, you might wonder how to better support the LGBTQ community or what LGBTQ stands for. This resource guide from the Human Rights Campaign is here to guide you on that journey, whether you’re new to LGBTQ issues or seeking fresh ways to show support. It’s okay not to know everything—this guide will help build your understanding and comfort, allowing you to take what’s relevant to you and move forward as an LGBTQ ally.</p> </div> </div> <div class="text-with-image__ctas"> <a data-link-style="underline-with-icon" data-link-type="external" class="link link--with-icon" href="https://reports.hrc.org/being-an-lgbtq-ally"> Read the Guide</a> </div> </div> <div class="text-with-image__image"> <div> <img loading="eager" srcset="/sites/default/files/styles/max_width_320/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=c03kYNAI 320w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_444/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=QK-kCw0Q 444w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_480/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=umF3hhn8 480w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_540/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=qm7kxgfP 540w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_640/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=cnOXlyTW 640w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_800/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=bXzlRu3O 800w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_896/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=azSxCB6y 896w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_960/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=9bX99nyi 960w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_1120/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=bU3lNUuJ 1120w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_1280/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=nLjPKEVg 1280w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_1440/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=49Ql-pea 1440w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_1600/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=WvpTtdAG 1600w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_1760/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=w5e9t0wB 1760w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_1920/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=QCy_NvLc 1920w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_2080/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=b_a9LXM4 2080w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_2240/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=v2p3j6P2 2240w, /sites/default/files/styles/max_width_2400/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=RSvjI05X 2400w" sizes="(min-width: 1500px) 800px,(min-width: 1408px) 540px, (min-width: 992px) 444px, 96vw" width="960" height="600" src="/sites/default/files/styles/max_width_320/public/2024-09/Screenshot%202024-09-17%20at%2010.04.07%E2%80%AFAM_0.png?itok=c03kYNAI" alt="3 Allies on ab blue and yellow background" /> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </main> </div> <div id="block-yalesitesfooterblock"> <footer data-component-width="site" data-site-footer-border-thickness="8" data-footer-theme="two" data-footer-accent="three" data-footer-variation="mega" class="site-footer"> <div class="site-footer__inner"> <div class="site-footer__primary"> <div class="site-footer__branding"> <div class="site-footer__logo-group"> </div> <div class="site-footer__yale-logo"> <a href="/"> <img srcset="/sites/default/files/styles/3_1_300/public/2024-02/Yale%20LGBTQ%20Center%20%286%29.png?itok=j0Ggcf3b 300w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_1_400/public/2024-02/Yale%20LGBTQ%20Center%20%286%29.png?itok=Zp7wGsFG 400w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_1_500/public/2024-02/Yale%20LGBTQ%20Center%20%286%29.png?itok=VIuHcWl8 500w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_1_600/public/2024-02/Yale%20LGBTQ%20Center%20%286%29.png?itok=qw8GEakL 600w, /sites/default/files/styles/3_1_700/public/2024-02/Yale%20LGBTQ%20Center%20%286%29.png?itok=HOG6BBTS 700w" sizes="(min-width:556px) 500px, 100vw" width="700" height="233" src="/sites/default/files/styles/3_1_300/public/2024-02/Yale%20LGBTQ%20Center%20%286%29.png?itok=j0Ggcf3b" alt="Yale LGBTQ Center" loading="lazy" /> </a> </div> </div> <div class="site-footer__content"> <p>Address: 135 Prospect Street, New Haven, CT 06511</p> <p>Phone: 203-432-0309</p> <p>Hours: Sunday - 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