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} #footer { background-color: #ffffff; } #footer a { color:#000000; } </style> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840js_/http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/js/tacoda/DartInclude.js"></script> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> var adCounter; adCounter = 0; var adTagLocation = new String(/tv/); var adTagLength = adTagLocation.length; var categoryIdStart = adTagLocation.indexOf("/"); var adTagTemp = new String(adTagLocation.substring(categoryIdStart+1, adTagLength)); var adTagStop = adTagTemp.indexOf("/"); var adTag = new String(adTagTemp.substring(0,adTagStop)); </script> </head> <body class="mt-archive-listing mt-datebased-monthly-archive layout-twt"> <script language="JavaScript" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840js_/http://insidesocal.com/blog_branding.js"></script> <div id="container"> <div id="container-inner"> <br> <center> <table bgcolor="#FFFFFF"> <tr><td width="728"> <div align="center" class="adElement"><script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript1.1">GetAd('tile','0','/blog_'+adTag,'','www.dailynews.com',';dcopt=ist','728','90');</script></div> </td> <td width="30"></td> <td width="160"> <div align="center" class="adElement"><script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript1.1">GetAd('tile','1','/blog_'+adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','160','90');</script></div> </tr> </table> </center> <br> <div id="header"> <center> <script language="JavaScript" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840js_/http://insidesocal.com/blog_branding2.js"></script> <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/" border="0""><img src="/web/20090214095840im_/http://insidesocal.com/tv//header.jpg"></a></center> <div id="header-inner"> <div id="header-content"> </div> </div> </div> <div id="content"> <div id="content-inner"> <div id="alpha"> <div id="alpha-inner"> <h1 class="archive-title"> March 2007 Archives </h1>  <div id="entry-14383" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/jerry-seinfeld-the-comedian-aw.html">“Jerry Seinfeld: The Comedian Award”</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 31, 2007 2:39 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/jerry-seinfeld-the-comedian-aw.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/jerry-seinfeld-the-comedian-aw.html#comments">Comments (2)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Kudos to HBO for eking an hourlong special out of one of those ubiquitous self-congratulatory Hollywood-style events in which celebrities talk about themselves: For “Jerry Seinfeld: The Comedian Award,” Anderson Cooper hosts an event in which Seinfeld receives an award no one’s ever heard of and which, in fact, didn’t exist until HBO realized they could, in fact, eke out an hourlong special from it. </p> <p>Chris Rock, Garry Shandling and Robert Klein appear, discussing the art of standup and showing much love to Seinfeld. Having spent time with comics, I found some of the conversation intriguing, though I'm not sure how many folks with no ties to the industry will. Much of the actual comedy comes from footage from Seinfeld’s last HBO special, which people who want laughs will have already seen. </p> <p>Seinfeld credits Klein with inspiring him, saying, “Robert made it OK to be smart. You see Red Skelton, you don’t think, ‘Oh, you have to be smart to be a comedian.’” </p> <p>On the other hand, watching comics discussing their art form can be kind of deadly. As Klein proves, by talking about Rodney Dangerfield too much. Shandling has some funny moments, as does Rock, when he compares Shandling to Pauly Shore (Shandling’s response to Rock’s dis is almost as funny as the slag itself).</p> <p>Rock explains how network executives are given free reign to emasculate a comic’s sensibility onscreen: “Cops want crime. You don’t f@#&ing; eat if there’s no crime. Executives give notes – if it’s perfect, they don’t have a job.”</p> <p>HBO head Chris Albrecht even beneficently - I'm pretty sure that's the word - grants himself some screen time, before Seinfeld artfully manages to make fun of “self-congratulatory b.s. events like this,” while seeming genuinely to be moved to get his little plexiglass gewgaw. Most impressive: The comics manage to get Cooper to admit that he – along with many news anchors – spend a lot of time looking at themselves appreciatively in the mirror.</p> <p>- “Jerry Seinfeld: The Comedian Award:” 9 p.m. Sunday, also 2 and 11 p.m. 4/4, 1 a.m. 4/8, 9:30 a.m. and 9 p.m. 4/10, 5 p.m. 4/13, 12:30 a.m. 4/14; HBO. Other times on other HBO platforms. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-14293" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/miss-america-gets-jilted.html">Miss America gets jilted</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 29, 2007 5:17 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/miss-america-gets-jilted.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/miss-america-gets-jilted.html#comments">Comments (2)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>After a mere two years, CMT is kicking the Miss America pageant to the curb. </p> <p>Brian Phillips, executive vice president of the cable network, issued a statement reading, in part: “We’re very proud of the successful programming we’ve been able to produce with the Miss America Organization. As a network, CMT is now in a more aggressive position to build off of existing series and launch more original series and music-centric special events.”</p> <p>Boy, if you can’t manage good enough ratings for a cable network to retain you, it’s pretty apparent this whole beauty-pageant thing has gone the way of the dodo, the manual typewriter and personal accountability in Washington, D.C. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-14292" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-tudors-works-it.html">"The Tudors" works it</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 29, 2007 5:08 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-tudors-works-it.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-tudors-works-it.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Michael Hirst, creator of <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.dailynews.com/entertainment/ci_5532191" target="new">“The Tudors,”</a> boasts that his series features some 4,000 ornate costumes. When he met costume designer Joan Bergin (“The Prestige”), he says, “We talked about, ‘Let’s not just get stuck into the Tudor costumes, because right around the corner, you’ve got the Renaissance, which had amazing fabrics and costumes.’ She said, ‘Can I do that? It gives me a much bigger palate.’ I said, ‘You must do that. You must stretch. Just go for it.’” </p> <p>Sam Neill, who plays Cardinal Wolsey in “The Tudors,” concedes that Bergin indeed go for it. </p> <p>“I’m in a big red frock for the most of it, except when I’m in bed with my mistress, in which case I’m wearing no frock at all,” Neill says. </p> <p>“I thought the costumes were fantastic. One of the pleasures in coming to work was that you didn’t know how they’d look. The odd hat was faintly ridiculous. I came in one day and saw Nick Dunning in his costume – he looked so ridiculous, I was on the floor laughing. He being a good friend of mine, he took it in stride.”</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-14189" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/oprah-champions-postapocalypti.html">Oprah champions post-apocalyptic cannibalism!</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 28, 2007 12:05 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/oprah-champions-postapocalypti.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/oprah-champions-postapocalypti.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Remember the good old days, when Oprah’s Book Club chose lightweight books filled with feel-good bromides and/or uplifting female self-empowerment? And then, she got all arty and picked Jonathan Franzen’s “The Corrections,” which sort of appalled the author and forced Oprah to withdraw it as a choice for her fans and even, for a time, suspend her book club altogether? </p> <p>Even though Oprah declared “The Corrections” “the best 648 pages I've read in years,” Franzen scarcely considered the endorsement a positive development in his career. When I spoke to him at the time, he fretted that were a serious reader of literary fiction to see the Oprah sticker of approval on a book, “You wouldn't read it. Exactly! You'd think it's going to be some schmaltzoid, one-dimensional issues book.” He added that post-Oprah, “The book got split in two in some modern-physics-type way. One is going on its trajectory, without the corporate logo and finding its way to folks who shop in independent bookstores, and version two is finding its way into Wal-Marts and Costcos.”</p> <p>After Oprah cancelled her show on “The Corrections,” Franzen subsequently Emailed me a mea culpa: “I feel terrible that certain unwise remarks of mine, taken out of context, hurt the feelings of a woman who is a reader of mine, an admirer of my work, and one of the real forces of good in the literary life of the nation. I have the greatest respect for and gratitude to readers of all kinds.”</p> <p>Well, Oprah’s Book Club returned quite some time ago, and for her latest choice, she’s gone even more outré – Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road,” a short, great but brutal novel set in a relentlessly grey future landscape in which food, potable water and even simple humanity are in short supply. </p> <p>In it, an unnamed man and his son traverse a battered, ashen America in search of – well, something. In perhaps the book’s most disturbing passage, they come upon a rural home housing human captives, awaiting their grim fates to become someone’s menu item: </p> <p>“He started down the rough wooden steps. He ducked his head and then flicked the lighter and swung the flame out over the darkness like an offering. Coldness and damp. An ungodly stench. The boy clutched at his coat. He could see part of a stone wall. Clay floor. An old mattress darkly stained. He crouched and stepped down again and held out the light. Huddled against the back wall were naked people, male and female, all trying to hide, shielding their faces with their hands. On the mattress lay a man with his legs gone to the hip and the stumps of them blackened and burnt. The smell was hideous.</p> <p>“Jesus, he whispered.</p> <p>“Then one by one they turned and blinked in the pitiful light. Help us, they whispered. Please help us.</p> <p>“Christ, he said. Oh Christ.</p> <p>“He turned and grabbed the boy. Hurry, he said. Hurry. </p> <p>“He dropped he lighter. No time to look. He pushed the boy up the stairs. Help us, they called.</p> <p>“Hurry.</p> <p>“A bearded face appeared blinking at the foot of the stairs. Please, he called. Please. </p> <p>“Hurry. For God’s sake hurry.”</p> <p>Enjoy, Oprah readers!</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-14161" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/idol-chatter-the-somewhat-unex.html">“Idol” Chatter: The (Somewhat) Unexpurgated Version</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 28, 2007 12:00 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/idol-chatter-the-somewhat-unex.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/idol-chatter-the-somewhat-unex.html#comments">Comments (2)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>On Tuesday, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/idol/" target="new">I participated in the Abu Ghraib of the Soul that is live-blogging “American Idol.”</a> Crack Daily News staffer Semhar Debessai distills the blather from a chatroom in an undisclosed bunker into nice, tidy, pithy soundbites.</p> <p>I’m not nearly so discreet or assiduous. Herewith, almost the full transcript, with a few edits (including jettisoning assorted LOL’s and such) to make it somewhat coherent. Of course, it helps if you actually saw the show. If not, all the help I can give you is the chronological rundown of performers: LaKisha, Chris Bligh, Gina, Sanjaya, Phil, Melinda, Jordin, Blake, another Chris. </p> <p>The purpose of this exercise, if there is one, is to help you appreciate how artfully Semhar trims this nonsense into something resembling clever banter, <i>and</i></a> finds, at a moment’s notice, great accompanying art, to boot. (She’s not only piecing this together while <i>also</i></a> live-blogging, dealing with our balky blog-site, but she impressively stepped up quite nicely to extemporaneously illustrate my herniated disk, but full disclosure: As appropriate as the expression on the dog’s face is, my dog is much, much smaller.)</p> <p>MizRock: am I here?<br/> Sem: ok, great; we're all here for the excitement.<br/> MizRock: I love LaKisha.<br/> Sem: yes.<br/> MizRock: OK, the boots and the wide black hem don't go, but she's made us forget.<br/> Sem: they threw me off guard, putting one of the good ones first.<br/> MizRock: she's ROCKING!<br/> The Mayor: OK, have I missed anything? I never watch, but this is what I know: No one seems particularly wowed by any of the contestants, but there's one guy specifically who's awful, but he's being kept on the show by Howard Stern and weeping children. <br/> MizRock: LaKisha is amazing, Simon usually likes her.<br/> The Mayor: Paula's still crazy, and after all these years, Simon and Seacrest are STILL gay-baiting one another. Is there anything else I need to know? <br/> MizRock: Last week we had to drink every time Randy said “pitchy.”<br/> The Mayor: I read today that Gwen REALLY DID NOT want Sanjaya to do one of her songs. <br/> MizRock: Good for Gwen.<br/> MizRock: you've never watched this?<br/> Davidkronke: If you saw my CD collection, you'd understand immediately why I can't watch this show. <br/> MizRock: give me a hint.<br/> The Mayor: These sorts of gruel-y songs performed in this sort of bombastic way makes my ears bleed. <br/> MizRock: Mine is all Jimmy Buffett and show tunes.<br/> The Mayor: Though No Doubt's OK; not so jazzed by glam Gwen and her retinue of geishas. But doesn't Gwen Stefani have a good enough career to avoid having to do this show? <br/> MizRock: well, they said she was focusing on her solo career and she did take some time off to have a baby: Maybe she figured being part of this show - it's #1 somewhere, isnt' it?<br/> Sem: fergie and nelly furtado are stealing her style.<br/> MizRock: yeah.<br/> Sem: so she needs something new i guess....new, not necessarily better.<br/> The Mayor: Question: Has Randy figured out a new shtick yet? Sorry, misspoke: Has he figured out a shtick, period? It must suck to be on a panel when the other panelists actually have personalities. <br/> MizRock: Nope. Everybody is still a dawg, and what did he do BEFORE idol?<br/> Sem: uhh, eat. Now he wears make up.<br/> MizRock: too funny!<br/> The Mayor: He played behind Journey, and was a studio cat, not a dawg.<br/> The Mayor: Maybe I'd watch if they mixed it up more. For example, why can't they have a Leonard Cohen night? That'd be brilliant. Have one person perform “The Butcher” - which is, what? three or four notes, tops? - in the desiccated, strung-out way Cohen sings it, then have someone else sing it in the show's trademark overblown, Celine Dion-fashion. <br/> MizRock: works for me.<br/> Sem: i dont know if the 7-year-old audience would care too much for that.<br/> The Mayor: You know another theme evening that'd be cool would be a Lisa Germano night. Watching this bunch try to figure out how to perform her songs about self-loathing and alcoholism would come close to performance art. <br/> Sem: haha - ART!<br/> MizRock: I'm gonna throw Buffet into the mix. Everybody could go to margaritaville. <br/> Sem: Here’s Chris.<br/> Sem: how dare you suggest ART on IDOL.<br/> MizRock: it's not good when the backup singers are louder than the lead.<br/> The Mayor: Why are the Police reuniting, anyway? Their music hasn't aged very well.<br/> MizRock: he was really WEAK tonight. … Aah, he said package!<br/> The Mayor: "I did the best I could." Famous last words.<br/> MizRock: My friends play in a kick-ass Journey cover band, named "Lights."<br/> The Mayor: Paula knows about "staying in the pocket."<br/> MizRock: ow!<br/> Sem: so i take it you dont like paula.<br/> MizRock: he's holding up well. ow, simon gets played off by the band!<br/> Sem: stop scratching your backside, Chris!<br/> Sem: bottom 5, at least.<br/> The Mayor: "My bad:" Not the best way of saying, "Please vote for me."<br/> MizRock: hahaha. you're gonna love gina. … My ears are bleeding.<br/> Sem: she'll be wearing fishnets.<br/> MizRock: crack in her voice.<br/> The Mayor: Do they ever actually advise these people on what to wear? Because if they do, I would sue them.<br/> Sem: true story.<br/> The Mayor: SHE's in the Top Ten?<br/> MizRock: yup.<br/> The Mayor: Then <i>I</i></a> would've made the Top 24.<br/> MizRock: this would be a place to make inappropriate hooker comments.<br/> MizRock: “boot night.”<br/> The Mayor: Boot night -- as in, everyone should get the boot.<br/> MizRock: Paula sounds like this is her 450th parent-teacher conference and all she wants is a drink.<br/> Sem: ? the best ?<br/> The Mayor: The fix is in.<br/> MizRock: Cripes, Simon.<br/> MizRock: Yeah, but they say one thing and all the idiots calling in make the real decisions.<br/> MizRock: Oh, David, you're in for a treat.<br/> The Mayor: I don't know if it means anything, but my dog just left the room. With a most reproachful look in his eyes. He's lost all respect for me.<br/> MizRock: my dog is hiding under the dining room table.<br/> The Mayor: Here's a potential conspiracy theory: Do the show's producers skew the results when they choose the order of the performers? Because on a consistent basis, the ratings and the number of viewers rise significantly as the show proceeds. Last week, for example, just a hair under 25 million were watching from 8-8:30, but by 9:30-10 a sliver over 32 million people were tuned in. More viewers means more potential voters, so they can slot the people they don't like early and those they do like later. Just a thought. <br/> MizRock: Access Hollywood took the crying girl for a makeover. She still looks awkward and ugly.<br/> The Mayor: I was at a Kings game last week at Staples Center, and Seacrest was there, and when the cameras were trained upon him, the boos outweighed the cheers. You got the sense that the only way the crowd would've approved of his presence was if Rob Blake checked him against the boards.<br/> MizRock: hoo=hoo!<br/> MizRock: bathwater?<br/> Sem: keep it real gwen. she was so trying not to laugh<br/> The Mayor: By the way, Semhar, warm congratulations on your recent promotion. I'm sure if you can find someone to surreptitiously shiv Fred, you'd get his job, easy. <br/> Sem: awww, thanks david (i think)<br/> MizRock: she needs darker lipstick.<br/> The Mayor: Not even the teenage girls can vote for him with this hair.<br/> MizRock: what the HELL?<br/> Sem: OMG; i just looked up; I was trying to avoid the screen. Quick, turn away!!!!<br/> MizRock: Ive never seen anything stupider looking.<br/> The Mayor: Sem: Not that I'm advocating anything. Unless, of course, it's MY job you're after. In that case, forget I said anything. You're a ruthless, cold-hearted person, and I want nothing to do with your career ascension.<br/> Sem: you’re safe, david.<br/> The Mayor: And Sanjaya comes out to America.<br/> MizRock: maybe he and Gina can split attorney fees.<br/> The Mayor: Put it out there, dude? He couldn't've put his hair any more out there.<br/> Sem: are they seriously thinking about their comments?<br/> MizRock: she called it a fauxhawk.<br/> Sem: he's feelin himself TOO MUCH.<br/> MizRock: he is such a weakling.<br/> The Mayor: Simon definitely wants to pull it off ... his head.<br/> MizRock: Seacrest is biting his tongue.<br/> The Mayor: Agggh. "So unnecessary for the song" is an understatement.<br/> MizRock: oh, she looks very nice tonight. Worth paying attention to.<br/> MizRock: Remember Sean Cassidy? Now think Sanjana.<br/> The Mayor: I'm trying not to think at all; that's the only way I'll get through this.<br/> MizRock: she is definitely going for the American Girl look tonight.<br/> The Mayor: So we go from hooker to lunatic to a pretty understated, nice look. And she plays to the camera well, too.<br/> Sem: did she sing any words?<br/> MizRock: there he goes with the pitchy.<br/> MizRock: sweet but forgettable......<br/> Sem: it was very karaoke-like.<br/> MizRock: I wonder if anyone escorts the judges to their cars.<br/> Sem: Phil - think Moby. and chris R. = justin timberlake.<br/> MizRock: so as the king of TV, David, what's your fave show?<br/> Sem: blake = trying HARD to be justin timberlake.<br/> The Mayor: No, I'm merely the Mayor of Television. Which really isn't that impressive. Are there any other awful performers forthcoming?<br/> MizRock: phil.<br/> MizRock: they're moving through fast tonight, it seems.<br/> The Mayor: Halfway through; ears are blood-free.<br/> MizRock: did you hear that they're making the results show hour-longs in mid-April because the losers haven’t had a chance to sing?<br/> Sem: to david: excellent, but um, phil hasn't gone on yet.<br/> MizRock: how much makeup is he wearing?<br/> The Mayor: yet another ill-advised look. Sweet.<br/> Sem: smart to wear a hat.<br/> The Mayor: OH, this WILL be painful.<br/> Sem: there you go david: the police.<br/> The Mayor: He looks like he's there courtesy the Make a Wish Foundation.<br/> Sem: i've heard better karaoke sober.<br/> The Mayor: I had a herniated disk about 15 months ago, and I thought THAT was painful.<br/> MizRock: seven fillings on the right.....<br/> The Mayor: Thank God I'm not a hemophiliac, because the blood that started spurting from my ears during that spectacle could've ended up killing me. <br/> MizRock: good thing the dog left the room, Mine is looking at me asking "why?"<br/> MizRock: Oh, you're gonna love Melinda. As soon as you get over her big head physically. Emotionally, she's really humble and sweet.<br/> The Mayor: She looks like that woman on Grey's Anatomy who's really bitchy.<br/> Sem: Chandra Wilson, Dr. Bailey. (i love that show) I can't help it! my whole apt. is into it. it's like smoking...if you're around it so much(at least i think that's how it goes)<br/> The Mayor: Right. (Another show I don't watch.)<br/> MizRock: David, you're missing LIFE.<br/> Davidkronke: Yes, I am. And proud of it.<br/> MizRock: that's it, I'm wearing leggings into the office tomorrow.<br/> Sem: noooooooo leggings. Ever.<br/> MizRock: ok, guess I am a bit old for that look.<br/> The Mayor: Good voice; hate the song.<br/> MizRock: that's because we're old enough to remember disco, David.<br/> The Mayor: "You tell a story from the very first word that comes out of your mouth?" Is that possible? Don't you need more words to tell a story? Just saying.<br/> MizRock: guess he's not a leg(gings) man … What the heck was Jordan wearing? … Blake is the beat box boy … this show looks SO missable.<br/> MizRock: why do I feel like I'm at some neighbor kid's recital? … Adequate is too generous.<br/> The Mayor: What is that outfit trying to say to America? I'm a dork trying really, really hard to be cool?<br/> MizRock: it's the part of Gina's costume that she forgot to wear.<br/> The Mayor: Gina forgot to wear ALL of her costume.<br/> MizRock: oh, this will be painful, I hope … say it, he SUCKED!<br/> The Mayor: "You made the most of it:" Like my dog made the most of an empty jack in the box wrapper.<br/> MizRock: WHAT THE HELL? … Are Paula and Simon both smoking?<br/> MizRock: Daisy Duke on steroids … I sing this better in my car<br/> The Mayor: I dress better than that in my car.<br/> The Mayor: My dog: lying in the other room; looking at me bereftly. Maybe he just wants to go for a walk, but I think he's an aesthetically perceptive fellow.<br/> Sem: can ur dog blog?<br/> The Mayor: At least as literately as i can.<br/> MizRock: Ok, the painful Chris is closing the show. He's really bad.<br/> The Mayor: So, who do you guys think will win? Melinda?<br/> MizRock: Definitely. … I think Sanjaya is going to make it to like the last four just to torment America.<br/> Sem: sanjaya, unfortunately.<br/> MizRock: sanjaya...coming soon to a junior high near you.<br/> Sem: melinda looks too much like someone's auntie....not enough to be an idol...i mean, look at uncle taylor h.<br/> The Mayor: I think Fox wants to keep Sanjaya on there, for a number of reasons. Why else would they have pulled that lachrymose tot stunt last week?<br/> sem: that little girl?<br/> mizrock: She was on Extra getting a makeover. Her 15 minutes is SO over, she owes America about 30 minutes.....<br/> The Mayor: It would've been even better if they had had a Down Syndrome kid weeping for Sanjaya.<br/> MizRock: true.<br/> Sem: just look into chris' eyes.<br/> Mizrock: how long has he been working on that beard? four weeks?<br/> The Mayor: Did he find that jacket in a dumpster?<br/> MizRock: think so. got the tie from some sixth grader. Chris, put the DAMN MIC STAND DOWN! good lord, the hair again!<br/> The Mayor: Wow, this montage of the performers would be enough justification for the Bush Administration to attack the Fox Studios.<br/> Sem: torture....in short.<br/> MizRock: those are WMDs, for sure.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-14101" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/no-idols-before-me-1.html">No "Idols" before me</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 27, 2007 3:37 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/no-idols-before-me-1.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/no-idols-before-me-1.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Your Mayor will be whoring himself out tonight, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/idol/" target="new">assisting in the live-blogging of tonight’s episode of “American Idol,” alongside Semhar Debessai and whoever else she suckers into participating</a> while Fred Shuster abdicates this most urgent responsibility. </p> <p>Unfortunately, we’ll be responding to the West Coast feed of the show, so three-quarters of the country will be denied our penetrating insights into the nature of music and free enterprise, not to mention our withering quips about Sanjaya Malakar. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-14086" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/on-that-courteney-coxjennifer.html">On that Courteney Cox-Jennifer Aniston smooch </a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 27, 2007 12:10 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/on-that-courteney-coxjennifer.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/on-that-courteney-coxjennifer.html#comments">Comments (2)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Well, it’s not much, frankly, a fairly chaste peck. So settle down, already.</p> <p>On tonight’s season finale of “Dirt,” Aniston appears as Tina Harrod, another high-powered editor who, it’s rumored, is up for Lucy Spiller’s (Cox) job at DirtNow. The fractious scene in which Lucy discovers Tina in her publisher’s office is the best between the old friends – claws out, circling one another warily. </p> <p>Later, they have a lunch; it’s revealed the two had a fling in the past. As they leave their table; Aniston puts her hand almost on Cox’s bottom, then moves in for a mouths-closed kiss. I’ve seen more erotic air-kisses in Hollywood.</p> <p>But that’s not the point of the episode; it’s just the subterfuge to get people to watch. After doing pretty well ratings-wise the first episode, the show has lost a sizable chunk of viewers. </p> <p>Here’s “Dirt’s” problem: FX has a pretty reliable template for its dramas – there’s a charismatic anti-hero at their shows’ centers (“The Shield’s” Michael Chiklis, “Rescue Me’s” Denis Leary, “Nip/Tuck’s” Julian McMahon, “The Riches”’ Eddie Izzard) who, no matter how rough the going may be, still manage to enjoy the ride and make with the punchy one-liners. “Dirt’s” Lucy – who easily has the cushiest life of any FX character – is also, oddly, the chilliest, least happy of the bunch and can be fairly humorless.</p> <p>In tonight’s episode, Aniston’s character, actually, has the glib, edgily easygoing insouciance that the brittle Lucy Spiller could use. </p> <p>That dark tone carries over into the whole series, which is fairly apocalyptic about a pretty trivial subject – Hollywood gossip rags. Willa’s (Alexandra Breckinridge) ruthlessly going after Lucy, her boss, Lucy is plagued by a stalker (whose identity is revealed tonight) and the crash and burn Julia (Laura Allen) suffered this season felt awfully swift and relentless, even by Britney Spears’ standards (Julia released her own rape tape on the Internets). </p> <p>Life at a tabloid would seem to lend itself to a wrier, more satirical tone than the pervasively grim spectacle that was “Dirt” this season. And we’re treated to a particularly dour finale if the show doesn’t come back: Lucy’s even willing to sell <i>herself</i></a> out for her magazine. </p> <p>- “Dirt:” 10 tonight; FX. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-14014" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/double-down-on-tony-soprano.html">Double down on Tony Soprano</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 26, 2007 1:44 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/double-down-on-tony-soprano.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/double-down-on-tony-soprano.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>While fans of “The Sopranos” are anxiously awaiting the final episodes of the series (returning April 8), there apparently is a segment of the population disinterested in the show’s Machiavellian machinations but eager to profit off the personal tragedies of fictitious characters. An online sports book has laid down the odds on who will get whacked first when the series returns: </p> <p>James Gandolfini (Anthony "Tony" Soprano): 17/2</p> <p>Edie Falco (Carmela Soprano): 12/1 </p> <p>Michael Imperiolo (Christopher Moltisanti): 2/1 </p> <p>Lorraine Bracco (Dr. Jennifer Melfi): 6/1 </p> <p>Aida Turturro (Janice Soprano): 10/1</p> <p>Steven Van Zandt (Silvio "Sil" Dante): 7/1 </p> <p>Dominic Chianese (Corrado "Junior" Soprano): 4/1 </p> <p>Tony Sirico (Peter Paul "Paulie Walnuts" Gualtieri: 4/1 </p> <p>Jamie-Lynn Sigler (Meadow Mariangela Soprano): 12/1 </p> <p>Robert Ller (Anthony "A.J." Soprano, Jr.): 13/1 </p> <p>John "Johnny Sack" Sacrimoni (Vince Curatola): 7/2 </p> <p>Phil Leotardo (Frank Vincent): 5/1 </p> <p>People who work on the show could place their bets and never have to work another day in their lives. (On the other hand, a couple of spoilers have leaked out in the past few months, and the odds above seem to reflect those disclosures.)</p> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://hbo.eprize.net/sopranos/index.tbapp?page=intro&affiliate_id=1r&noflash=flash" target="new">Meanwhile, HBO has embraced the spirited Schadenfreude with an online Whack-a-Soprano in the style of the Whack-a-Mole arcade game. Alas, it’s not very bloody (nor, as far as I could manage it, very responsive) and the sound effects are pretty annoying. Still: Huzzah, death!</a></p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-14010" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/al-gore-entertainment-industry.html">Al Gore: Entertainment Industry Awards Vacuum</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 26, 2007 12:00 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/al-gore-entertainment-industry.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/al-gore-entertainment-industry.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>And the Emmy for Outstanding Performance by a Once-Humiliated Politician Making a Gratifying I-Told-You-So Victory Lap goes to...</p> <p>When you’re hot, you’re hot, and people are falling all over themselves to give you awards, just so you’ll show up and they can bask in your sheen. So it goes with Al Gore, who will receive an honorary <i>Emmy</i></a> for his portrayal as a young autistic man suffering from a bewildering series of deadly maladies on an episode of “House.” </p> <p>“Not only was the former Vice President able to render an exquisitely sensitive evocation of autism, but he also quite convincingly played a character significantly younger than he,” enthused International Academy of Television Arts & Sciences President & CEO, Bruce L. Paisner.</p> <p>Gore responded, “It is an honor to be recognized by the International Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.”</p> <p>OK, in reality, Gore’s receiving the 2007 International Emmy® Founders Award thanks to his “launching cable/satellite channel Current TV and his ongoing effort to alert the world to one of the great challenges of our time, global warming.”</p> <p>And what Paisner actually said – or what the Academy’s publicity department constructed for Paisner to have ostensibly intoned was, "The Academy presents the Founders Award to an individual or organization which crosses cultural boundaries to touch our common humanity- how perfect a definition for Al Gore. We in the media industry are honored that one of the world’s leading political figures has joined our global community of broadcasters."</p> <p>And Gore’s quote actually went like this: “It is an honor to be recognized by the International Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, which, like Current TV, strives to create a global conversation through the powerful medium of television.” Gore will receive his shiny object in November in New York. </p> <p>My version was better.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13928" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/britney-speaks-and-speaks-and.html">Britney speaks! And speaks! And speaks!</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 25, 2007 12:51 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/britney-speaks-and-speaks-and.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/britney-speaks-and-speaks-and.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Now that Britney Spears is out of rehab, she’s anxiously awaiting that perfect moment to relapse. But thankfully, she’s back, and better than ever! We caught up with Ms. Spears late Saturday night at the Standard, where she sipped demurely on a Perrier and agreed to sit down for this <i>exclusive</i></a> interview. </p> <p>Q: Britney, thanks for taking the time to speak. I’m sure all your your fans are anxious to hear from you! Let‘s start with the Senate’s current negotiations over questioning Karl Rove, Harriet Miers, and other White House staffers. Why are the specifics of these interviews so crucial to this process?</p> <p>Britney: Well, I—when I read (White House Counsel Fred) Fielding‘s letter, my first reaction was that he put a lot of barriers up, so he might drop a few in negotiations, because most of them make no sense. The only one—the only conversations that are really protected are those that are with the president himself. They have limited it to only external conversations. Two White House staffers talking does not create executive privilege.</p> <p>So I think this is part of a negotiating tactic at this point.</p> <p>Q: So what is the point of this, then, if they say that nobody ever counseled or went to President Bush about the particular issue of firing the U.S. attorneys?</p> <p>Britney: Good question. Fair question. And I think is, again, it‘s part of their tactic to just put up hurdles, to try to protect the sanctity of the conversations between the president and his staff. And I — apparently those even leading up to. Maybe Karl Rove‘s conversations with his wife are covered by Mr. Bush‘s concept of executive privilege. I‘m not sure. It‘s a little (INAUDIBLE) -- very fuzzy.</p> <p>Q: You’ve argued that the Bush administration wants to establish a new kind of presidency, not just separate from, but superior to the other branches. How does all of this, from the issue of firing these attorneys, to this debate over whether or not anybody from the White House can testify to conversations they had amongst themselves, how does that all fit into that theory, in your mind?</p> <p>Britney: Well, I think it all kind of does fit. When I first got interested in conservatism, the presidency was viewed as something that was dangerous when it was strong. With Reagan, Bush, and Bush, it has now gone 180 degrees, where the conservative canon calls for a strong president.</p> <p>And one of those criteria is to protect the prerogatives of the president, theoretically being not to invade his sanctity of his conversations with his aides. This appears to me to be an exercise of that nature, where they‘re really making the point, just to make the point.</p> <p>It‘s also an excellent diversion from some of their other problems, for them to get into a nose-to-nose with Congress on something that‘ll take the attention away from Iraq.</p> <p>Q: But do you sense that this might be a higher tightrope than the president and his political advisers, and maybe his legal advisers, understand? I mean, Senator (Charles) Schumer last night talked about the information coming out one way or the other, due to the irritated career employees at the Department of Justice. Senator (Patrick) Leahy just said that, you know, if you‘re the White House, you want your guys on the record first.</p> <p>Does this sound to you like they have more information than the White House understands they have?</p> <p>Britney: It could well be. I think we‘ve just seen the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, on this whole investigation. I think more and more U.S. attorneys and prosecutions are now being looked at with a different perspective, given the influence the White House has had on this Justice Department, and particularly on prosecutions or lack of prosecutions.</p> <p>So they may well be playing a very dangerous game. But I think, again, that Bush has got his manhood involved in this, and he‘s not likely to back down. So it could get thrilling.</p> <p>Q: Lastly, Britney, given how often we‘ve been talking about presidential powers and parameters, and the outreach and the imperial presidency, and the super-imperial presidency, should this be the first question we ask of every candidate for office in 2008: How important do you think and how powerful do you think this job really is?</p> <p>Britney: Well, I think that‘s an absolute positively essential question that be asked. In fact, I think it‘s so important, I happen to be writing a book about it right now, so your question is very timely. And I‘m on the last chapter, and I think it‘s an essential question that these process questions, which typically are never addressed by candidates, that they are addressed.</p> <p>Because I‘ve found some very solid research that shows that the American public cares a great deal about this kind of process. They understand it, they‘re interested in it. And when they think they‘re getting short shift, they really get very upset.</p> <p>Q: Britney Spears, thanks so much for some of your time. By the way, you look great!</p> <p>Britney: Oh, you’re so sweet. Rock on! </p> <p>Full disclosure, after the jump. </p> </div> <div class="asset-more-link"> Continue reading <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/britney-speaks-and-speaks-and.html#more">Britney speaks! And speaks! And speaks!</a>. </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13862" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/charlie-sheen-explains-it-all.html">Charlie Sheen Explains it All for You</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 23, 2007 8:08 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/charlie-sheen-explains-it-all.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/charlie-sheen-explains-it-all.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://wonkette.com/politics/charlie-sheen/washed+up-whoremonger-to-lend-credibility-to-youtube-nut-246397.php" target="new">“Two and a Half Men” star and burgeoning political dilettante Charlie Sheen will narrate an expanded version of “Loose Change,” a popular YouTube screed arguing that the U.S. government masterminded the 9/11 attacks with an unerring efficiency before the Administration ran utterly off the rails and abandoned all skills remotely resembling the sinister precision required on that day.</a></p> <p>Talking to “Extra” about this, Sheen said, “It’s a story that needs to be told. It’s a story about the truth and the truth needs to be exposed.”</p> <p>On the other hand, when asked whether the U.S. government had a hand in any sort of 9/11 conspiracy, Sheen says, “I don’t have any answers to that, but we deserve better than what we’ve been force-fed.” He added, “It’s not just me… not just the Hollywood community, but the social community that is standing up saying what you have given us doesn’t make sense. We just want better answers.”</p> <p>So, wait: Sheen calls a film about U.S. complicity in the 9/11 attacks “a story about the truth,” but when asked whether the film’s suppositions are indeed true, replies, “I don’t have any answers to that”? One must echo his other sentiments: “What you have given us doesn’t make sense. We just want better answers.”</p> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.nypost.com/seven/03222007/gossip/pagesix/pagesix.htm" target="new">And Sheen isn’t the only one buying into the conspiracy theory:</a> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.rosie.com/blog/2007/03/15/wtc-7/" target="new">Rosie O’Donnell offers her own pointed thoughts on the subject in semi-poetry form in her blog.</a> Of course, a few entries away, she posted a bunch of photos of a squirrel, with this addendum: “i have named him shady” (sic). </p> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://nymag.com/news/features/16464/" target="new">On the other hand, New York magazine investigated the 9/11 conspiracy fringe a while back and, after initial skepticism, came away not so assured that certain elements of the argument didn’t bear further scrutiny.</a> Hard to tell whether all this comes as a result of people willing to believe anything bad about the government or simple nostalgia for a time when the government, for better or worse, could execute its programs with a nominal amount of competence. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13848" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/a-dark-knight-indeed.html">A Dark Knight, Indeed</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 23, 2007 4:20 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/a-dark-knight-indeed.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/a-dark-knight-indeed.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=local&id=5142953" target="new">Caped vigilante justice was dealt a severe setback when Batman, the grumpiest of superheroes, was arrested on Hollywood Boulevard for wanting to take a bat-crap in a union Portapotty.</a> Apparently, billionaire Bruce Wayne hasn’t kept payments of his secret identity’s union dues up to date.</p> <p>Chewbacca, who had previously met with the wrath of the LAPD on Hollywood Blvd., scuttled to the side of the Crapped Crusader, his fellow Hall-of-Justice/Sidewalk-of-Fame tourist scourge. Chewbacca escaped police ire, however, by bolting into hyperspace. </p> <p>Long known for his brooding countenance and utter contempt for the civil liberties of the criminals he battles, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://defamer.com/hollywood/batman/batman-and-chewbacca-vs-the-crapper+guarding-picketers-246794.php" target="new">Batman, according to a fellow Hollywood Blvd. attention seeker, is referred to by other street performers as “'Bat-trash,' because he's got a trashy mouth." </a></p> <p>The superhero is “participating in an ongoing program to deal with this," Batman's publicist, Alan Nierob told The Associated Press. "The guy is trying to stay alive."</p> <p>No, wait – that’s what Nierob said after Mel Gibson’s DUI, and <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.dailynews.com/ci_5505359" target="new"> before Gibson’s recent roundelay on ancient Mayan culture at CSUN.</a></p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13842" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/rainn-wilson-becoming-dwight-s.html">Rainn Wilson: Becoming Dwight Schrute</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 23, 2007 3:12 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/rainn-wilson-becoming-dwight-s.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/rainn-wilson-becoming-dwight-s.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Rainn Wilson, who stars as Dwight on NBC’s Emmy winner “The Office” (and appears in “The Last Mimzy,” in theaters now) on his, let’s say, distinctive look on the sitcom: </p> <p>“I invented Dwight’s hair, proudly. We were getting into production, and Mackenzie Crook had that very severe haircut for Gareth (on the original British “Office”). And I pretty much stole that idea from him – Dwight needs a signature haircut that kind of shows off how ridiculous I look, and I can’t be afraid of that. So it’s parted in the middle and feathered and curly-cued around in the front and it became my style.” </p> <p>Wilson sort of downplays his own work on the show: “Anyone could play Dwight if they just dressed up like him.” Perhaps, but not just anyone would dare to dress up like him. </p> <p>And Wilson’s assessment of the series’ quality: “The pilot’s only OK, but the other episodes immediately start to get really quite good. The amazing thing about ‘The Office’ is we’ve done 50 episodes and, of those 50, maybe five of them aren’t great. And all the rest of them are all good to great. That’s a very high standard.”</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13835" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/cagney-lacey-guns-drawn.html">"Cagney & Lacey:" Guns drawn</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 23, 2007 1:07 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/cagney-lacey-guns-drawn.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/cagney-lacey-guns-drawn.html#comments">Comments (2)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Daughters, start rethinking those Mother’s Day gift lists: <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://barney-cagneyandlacey.blogspot.com/2007/03/david-goliath.html" target="new">The long-awaited (in some quarters, at least) release of “Cagney & Lacey” on DVD – initially to appear just in time for Mother’s Day – has been scratched, thanks to our old friend, corporate ineptitude.</a></p> <p>In the link above, “C&L;” producer Barney Rosenzweig, who seems to maintain a somewhat unhealthy attachment to his ’80s crime-drama starring Tyne Daly and Sharon Gless (who replaced Meg Foster early in the first season) as female detectives as tough as the tough guys on the force, describes in protracted, almost agonizing detail his ongoing efforts to return his show to viewers, only to be thwarted by bungling at MGM, who owned the series, at every turn.</p> <p>Still, Rosenzweig managed to lug the project to a release date to commemorate the show’s 25th anniversary. And then, MGM said, “Oops! We neglected to clear all the music rights for the series! Our bad!” </p> <p>Well, that excuse is as weak as American beer. Music rights is a major, pervasive issue in the world of DVD releases (it’s why you’ll probably never see variety shows from the ’60s and ’70s such as the Smothers Brothers or Sonny and Cher’s or why you hear songs you may not remember playing over the original episodes on, say, DVD sets of old WB series). If someone at MGM really did neglect this, they really should consider another line of business.</p> <p>Meanwhile, Rosenzweig is watching with dismay as all his carefully calibrated synergy goes out the window. His memoir, without a DVD to be tied to, will hustle to bookstores’ remainder bins, and he’s miffed that the project’s publicist is being paid more than the actresses actually doing the publicity. </p> <p>Here are some random snippets from Rosenzweig’s screed, which will no doubt persuade MGM to change its scofflaw ways: “MGM...the little company that could NOT … I might scream about ‘detrimental reliance,’ and all the other problems they were causing me, I might point out that I am a ‘partner’ on the project and have a right to be consulted on such matters, but the bottom line has been no cooperation and noncompliance with my contractual rights. You think I am p!ssed? … The bottom line for me is, how dare they? How dare these itinerant managers handle a precious property such as ‘Cagney & Lacey’ in such a cavalier fashion? … How dare they so trivialize us all? The answer is they just do, because that is one thing the little company that could not, still can.”</p> <p>When/if the show finally is released on DVD, I hope they include bonus footage of every contentious meeting between Rosenzweig and those callous philistines with whom he grappled endlessly at MGM and allow him to rail against them – and anyone who fails to perceive “Cagney & Lacey” as the precious gem it truly is – on every commentary track. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13733" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/ugly-betty-beard-with-braces.html">"Ugly Betty:" Beard with braces</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 22, 2007 12:33 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/ugly-betty-beard-with-braces.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/ugly-betty-beard-with-braces.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Tonight on “Ugly Betty:” Betty (America Ferrera) dates Wilhelmina’s bitchy assistant Marc (Michael Urie)!</p> <p>OK, we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves here. When Marc’s overbearing and no-doubt homophobic mother (Patti LuPone) comes to town, Amanda (Becki Newton) contrives for him to try to convince her that he’s dating Betty (“I fell in love with you because of all that inner-beauty crap,” he says, explaining his back-story to Betty). And so they set up a dinner between the two families at Betty’s modest Queens home; as a gift, Marc brings a ceramic burro holding a cactus.</p> <p>Meanwhile, Alexis (Rebecca Romijn) and Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) conspire to oust Daniel (Eric Mabius) as editor of Mode. Again. Delighted with the scheme, Marc trills to Wilhelmina, “You’re so evil! I’m so going as you for Halloween.” </p> <p>Go figure – the episode focusing on the proudly glib and superficial Marc turns out to be one of the most sentimental. One misstep the episode may make is that given her kindness toward him, it’ll be harder – or, at least, more contrived – for Marc to really viciously dump on Betty in the future. </p> <p>- “Ugly Betty:” 8 tonight on ABC (Channel 7 in L.A.)</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13714" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/rip-larry-bud-melman.html">R.I.P., Larry “Bud” Melman</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 21, 2007 4:27 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/rip-larry-bud-melman.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/rip-larry-bud-melman.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Calvert DeForest, who played cackling twit Larry “Bud” Melman on David Letterman’s late-night NBC series and, when Letterman moved to CBS, played cackling twit Calvert DeForest (his stage name lost in the networks’ “intellectual property” feud), died Monday at age 85. </p> <p>I spent the better part of a day with DeForest back in the ’80s, at the height of Larry “Bud” Melmania. Larry’s brand of thoroughgoing incompetence is commonplace today, but was something that hadn’t been seen on mainstream TV in those days, and fans of Letterman’s anti-TV aesthetic loved him. DeForest was touring the country with a purported “comedy” show cooked up somewhat cynically by his manager. </p> <p>Backstage, in preparation for the show, there was rampant chaos – props were lost, the cue cards (DeForest always read off cue cards, and even then, he struggled mightily) were out of order (so that the jokes made even <i>less</i></a> sense) and the young women hired that night to accessorize Larry’s stage presence were balking at some of the more sexist trappings of the act (“Don’t worry, it’ll be great,” Larry’s manager assured them). Once the cue cards were in order, DeForest stumbled through them in characteristic blunderbuss fashion, even asking for explanations for some of the jokes, even though he ostensibly would have had performed them at other stops along the tour (“Don’t worry, it’ll be funny,” Larry’s manager assured him). </p> <p>Through the mayhem, DeForest sat in the corner like a Buddha as everything was sussed out. I asked him, was it always like this before a show? <i>“Always,”</i></a> he replied placidly. He admitted to being taken aback at all the hoopla, but seemed to enjoy it with the proper attitude. </p> <p>The show itself proceeded pretty much as you’d expect from a production aimed at drunken frat guys. Larry blew the joke he asked to have explained: “Marriage is a three-ring circus – first, there’s the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering;” Larry read it, “the suffering-ring.” Genius.</p> <p>Earlier in the day, Larry had appeared at an ice-cream shop to sign autographs, pose for photographs with fans and sit for a bit of a chat with me, but what he was most interested in was the big bowl of ice cream set before him. After interacting with dozens of fans and enjoying perhaps one spoonful of ice cream, his manager tugged at him, telling him it was time to go. It was the only time all day I saw DeForest unhappy, pining for his dessert like a child: “But I was supposed to have the <i>ice cream,”</i></a> he mewled. “That was the whole <i>point.”</i></a></p> <p>In a statement issued today, Letterman said, “Everyone always wondered if Calvert was an actor playing a character, but in reality he was just himself - a genuine, modest and nice man.” And, indeed, that’s how I always remembered him – as a friendly fellow utterly unfazed by his stardom. All he needed to make him happy was a bowl of ice cream. That was the whole point. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13708" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/do-not-go-gentle-into-that-goo.html">Do not go gentle into that good "Night"</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 21, 2007 2:55 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/do-not-go-gentle-into-that-goo.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/do-not-go-gentle-into-that-goo.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>“Friday Night Lights,” the series about a small Texas town obsessed with its high-school football team, may just be playing out the clock on this season – as one of too many serialized shows to premiere last fall, its ratings never reflected critics’ enthusiasm for the show – but its players can leave the field with their heads held high. </p> <p>(As for the headline - sure, it's a stretch, but at least it's not as hokey as "Thank God it's 'Friday'" or "Turn out the 'Lights.'")</p> <p>Even though it’s steeped in melodrama, the show is constantly surprising: You’ll be rolling your eyes one moment, genuinely moved the next. The show probably never overcame the fact that it fell between two barstools – the football probably chased away female viewers, while the soap-opera elements no doubt had some of its more testosterone-laden fans fleeing – and enough with the epilepsy-cam, already. </p> <p>But the show’s picking up a head of steam as it enters its final four episodes of the season. Tonight, Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler) mulls that college coaching job he’s always dreamed of, but daughter Julie (Aimee Teegarden), smitten with Matt (Zach Gilford), doesn’t want to leave town, even though she’d be moving to Austin, which Taylor describes as “arty – you like arty,” adding, “They’ve got some great ballet-ers.” A class act, that coach.</p> <p>Meanwhile, wheelchair-bound Jason (Scott Porter) turns disappointment into – well, something less than disappointing, and his whole story hinges on an unlikely placed refrigerator. Riggins (Taylor Kitsch) befriends a neighboring MILF (Brooke Langton), whose initial resistances prove awfully flimsy. And Tyra’s (Adrianne Palicki) efforts to improve herself are repeatedly torpedoed by her mom. </p> <p>Next week’s episode’s finale carries quite an impact, despite the fact that it hinges on a really stupid premise. A train derailment and possible toxic fallout near the school’s stadium sends Taylor in search of a new field for the state semi-final game. Instead of a nice, state-of-the-art stadium, Taylor opts to have his team spend their prep time building a field in a pasture instead of practicing for the upcoming game. (No seats? No toilets? No lights? No problem!) Then, of course, a storm unleashes its fury during the game (and disappears the second the game is over). </p> <p>Meanwhile, Lyla (Minka Kelly) and a new friend go out shooting to as a cathartic response to boy problems, but they’re not the female character most in need of a gun. </p> <p>Despite the narrative artifice, the ending is genuinely gripping. Two more episodes after that, however, and they’ll no doubt, yes, be turning off “Friday Night Lights.” </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13696" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/abc-plays-it-safe.html">ABC plays it safe</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 21, 2007 12:33 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/abc-plays-it-safe.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/abc-plays-it-safe.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>ABC announced today that just about every show on its air that isn’t absolutely tanking (or, at least, doesn’t cost much to produce) will return next season. </p> <p>In addition to “Lost,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Desperate Housewives,” “Dancing with the Stars,” “Boston Legal,” “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” and “The Bachelor,” ABC also renewed “Ugly Betty” and “Brothers & Sisters.” <i>And,</i></a> for some reason, “Men in Trees,” even though that show fumbles away most of its “Grey’s Anatomy” audience – even that critic’s punching bag “October Road” did better in its debut in the timeslot than “Men/Trees” has ever done. </p> <p>“Jimmy Kimmel Live” will retain its late-night timeslot. “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” “Supernanny” and “Wife Swap” will also return. </p> <p>Firing up the old press-release-style-enthusiasm-muted-by-corporatese-language generator, McPherson approved a quote that had him declaring, “We have had a strong year, with two of the season’s breakout hits, ‘Ugly Betty’ and ‘Brothers & Sisters,’ and the solid performance of ‘Men in Trees.’ We are pleased that viewers have invested in these new favorites along with our other returning series. These shows provide us with a substantial foundation to make ’07-’08 <i>our best schedule yet.”</i></a></p> <p>(Emphasis mine, but I just thought it might make you go “Awww…” that way, underscoring the touchingly blind, even misguided, faith McPherson has for any schedule that would include “Wife Swap” and “Men in Trees.”) </p> <p>This feels like a network that’s not so much interested in improving than in simply not failing even more. Other networks (particularly NBC) in recent years have replaced bubble shows (“Boomtown,” “Law & Order: Another Spinoff”) with shows that did markedly worse in the ratings. So ABC’s conceding, essentially, that their development slate doesn’t have anything better than “Men in Trees” or “The Bachelor.” </p> <p>Also interesting are the ABC shows <i>not</i></a> on the list – any of the comedies and “What About Brian,” its pallid Monday-night melodrama. None of those shows deserve renewal, though ABC learned this year you can’t expect a brand-new sitcom to automatically create an audience, so if they want to keep comedy on their schedule, they’ll probably have to retain at least “George Lopez.” </p> <p>Will Stephen McPherson be the man to finally pound a stake through “According to Jim’s” heart? If so, sir, I will forgive you "Men in Trees." </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13668" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/scam-of-the-century.html">Scam of the Century?</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 20, 2007 9:09 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/scam-of-the-century.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/scam-of-the-century.html#comments">Comments (4)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>I just saw a commercial for an outfit called the GoldKit, and I can't imagine anyone being stupid enough to fall for it. </p> <p>Here's how it works: You, apparently, have a bunch of gold lying around the house that you no longer want. So you call the number on your screen (the number on your screen during the GoldKit commercial, that is) and they thoughtfully send you a specially padded mailer. You put your unwanted gold in the mailer, then send it off to the fine, upstanding folks at GoldKit.</p> <p>And that's all there is to it. No more pesky gold cluttering up your place. GoldKit <i>claims</i></a> they'll send you money for your gold, perhaps even something approximating its market value. But a) what do you think are the chances that a mailer with a label reading, say, "PURE GOLD INSIDE" is ever going to reach its intended destination, b) if you don't know the value of your gold, aren't you best off taking it directly to a nearby reputable jeweler yourself? and c) there's a little law lying around somewhere suggesting that most things sent in the mail qualify as "gifts," and that the sender can't demand it back (I know this because I get so many screeners; that's why Netflix only sends you a movie at a time). </p> <p>Now, I'm not saying GoldKit is a dubious operation (there's even a question mark up in the headline, see?). I'm just saying that I personally won't be mailing my collection of gold bars to anyone in the near future. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13617" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/whitest-kids-blow-a-fuse.html">"Whitest Kids" blow a Fuse</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 20, 2007 1:22 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/whitest-kids-blow-a-fuse.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/whitest-kids-blow-a-fuse.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Fuse tonight debuts “The Whitest Kids U Know,” a sketch comedy show that might remind you of “The Kids in the Hall,” only with fewer of those pesky jokes. Here’s a rundown of most of tonight’s sketches (I didn’t write down the ones that utterly bored me): </p> <p>1) A pregnancy test goes wrong. Short, funny enough.</p> <p>2) Adolph Hitler’s rap song, “Triumph of the Ill.” A-Hit’s (boy, they should’ve thought of that) not a persuasive rapper, and a mere couple of amusing lines doesn't justify its length.</p> <p>3) Business meeting disrupted when one guy pulls poop out of his pants. Lame acting, idiot premise, and it just goes on and on and on. </p> <p>4) AA meeting disrupted by idiot. At least it's short. Still not funny.</p> <p>5) A buffoonish Abraham Lincoln disrupts a theater performance of “Hamlet” featuring vampires. Starts out sort of funny, gets way bogged down in the middle. Have you noticed that a lot of the sketch ideas concern something getting interrupted by a moron? I have. </p> <p>6) A deer comes on to idiot hunters. OK, I’ve just surpassed my idiot quotient for a half hour show. </p> <p>7) A bunch of friends punch and slap one another as part of their “new thing.” OK, I’ve <i>way</i></a> surpassed my idiot quotient for a hourlong show, even. As funny as those “Captivity” billboards getting taken down around town. </p> <p>8) Song, “Get a New Daddy.” And “The Whitest Kids U Know” almost redeem themselves with this incredibly tasteless but pretty funny music video. Expect it on YouTube any minute.</p> <p>- “The Whitest Kids U Know:” 8 tonight (11 ET), Fuse.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13609" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/assorted-inanity.html">Assorted inanity</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 20, 2007 12:12 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/assorted-inanity.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/assorted-inanity.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Nominees for the first annual <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.americanlatino.tv/awards/" target="new">American Latino TV Awards</a> were announced today - yes, yet another dubious awards show - and if they want to reach the second annual American Latino TV Awards, they might want to think about hiring a fact-checker or two. Gael García Bernal is a nominee for Favorite American Latino Actor; Guillermo del Toro and Alejandro González Iñárrittu are nominated in the Favorite American Latino Filmmaker category. All were born in Mexico. Worse, Carlos Mencia is up for Favorite American Latino Comedian. Mencia is a stage name; the guy's part German and part Honduran. That, and who said the guy was a comedian?</p> <p>The press release touts the fact that U.S. Latinos will be able to vote for their favorites. Well, that's true, but given that voting will be conducted online, just about anyone could vote were they so inclined. </p> <p>* </p> <p>Well, <i>that</i></a> didn't take long: <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://newsbloggers.aol.com/2007/03/19/the-gloves-have-come-off/" target="new">Someone's hacked together a response to the viral anti-Hillary/pro-Obama ad spinning off Apple's 1984 Super Bowl commercial (if you haven't seen the original, it's on the link, too).</a> Trouble is, it's obviously a cut-and-paste job lacking the facility and ingenious subversive subtext of the original. (Well, the original replica. It's hard to assess originality in these post-modern mashup times.) </p> <p>*</p> <p>Stuff magazine, as part of its ongoing work in progressive public-service journalism, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.stuffmagazine.com/articles/index.aspx?id=1821&src=fc" target="new">has named the Wimpiest Men on TV.</a> Ryan Seacrest, Carson Daly and Butters from "South Park" all made the cut; Andy Milonakis, Jared from the Subway commercials and Alan Colmes were all overlooked. Maybe next year. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13556" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/sopranos-the-sitcom.html">“Sopranos:” The Sitcom</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 19, 2007 1:58 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/sopranos-the-sitcom.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/sopranos-the-sitcom.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>“Sopranos” creator <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/29455/" target="new">David Chase admits that he has given thought to a spin-off series from his ground-breaking drama, but don’t get your hopes up too much.</a></p> <p>In particular, Chase dangles the carrot on a stick of a sitcom featuring Janice (Aida Turturro) and Bobby Baccalieri (Steve Schirripa). But he’s probably just goofing. He also says it’d be difficult to do a “Sopranos” feature film because, well, he coyly hypothesizes, let’s say key characters get whacked in these final episodes – where in the timeline of the series’ narrative would you place the movie? </p> <p>But the notion of a “Sopranos” spin-off is an intriguing one. They could remake "The Bob Newhart Show" with Dr. Melfi (Lorraine Bracco) replacing Bob Hartley, but the title might confuse people. Paulie (Tony Sirico) could continue his reign of terror in “Poorly Motivated Beat-Down of the Week.” Meadow (Jamie-Lynn DiScala) could get duped week in and week out by con men and assorted ne’er-do-wells in “Rolling Meadow.” Vincent Pastore could return in “The Adventures of Big Pussy’s Rotting Corpse,” or they could chart the character’s early years in “Little Big Pussy.”</p> <p>Your suggestions, as always, are welcome. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13535" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/spousal-murder-for-fun-and-pro.html">Spousal murder for fun and profit!</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 19, 2007 12:16 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/spousal-murder-for-fun-and-pro.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/spousal-murder-for-fun-and-pro.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Court TV’s publicists are far savvier than their programmers. The cable network debuts its first scripted series tonight, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.dailynews.com/tv/ci_5454608" target="new">“’Til Death Do Us Part,”</a> a docudrama anthology series of sorts based upon purportedly true stories of married couples whose lives after their wedding went horribly wrong. </p> <p>John Waters hosts, playing the “Groom Reaper;” he introduces each installment and mops up the bloody remains at the end. He’s probably intended to be far wittier than he is on this show (and, in real life, he, in fact, is).</p> <p>Unfortunately, Court TV’s publicity campaign for the show has proven far cleverer than the show itself. The fold-out mailer including a screener of the first two episodes also included two sets of greeting cards: One, aimed at the emotional highs accompanying a fledgling marriage – congratulations cards. On the other side, however, were cards reading “With sympathy,” with the cheeky explanation, “These days, a seemingly happy marriage can quickly come to a dead end (and we don’t necessarily mean that figuratively). If someone you care about is dealing with the law and/or a loss, send him or her a few kind words on one of the enclosed sympathy cards.” </p> <p>Clearly, the fine folks at Court TV have particularly dim attitudes about the kind of people TV critics befriend.</p> <p>- “’Til Death Do Us Part:” 10 tonight; Court TV.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13420" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-scourge-of-reasoned-critic.html">The scourge of reasoned criticism</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 17, 2007 2:20 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-scourge-of-reasoned-critic.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-scourge-of-reasoned-critic.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117961277.html?categoryid=13&cs=1" target="new">Variety editor Peter Bart, noting that all the big hits at the box office in recent weeks have been critically-panned dreck – “300,” “Norbit,” “Wild Hogs,” “Ghost Rider” (even the titles sound profoundly unpromising) – offers up a fascinating solution: Lobotomies for critics, all around!</a></p> <p>Not really, but close: He suggests critics lighten up and embrace their inner-fan-of-“Are-You-Smarter-than-a-Fifth-Grader” and cut slack to movies that were never intended to be good anyway, just a time-killer for a bored and undemanding country. “If the established media want to stay relevant,” Bart writes, “should their critics make a passing attempt to tune in to pop culture?”</p> <p>I’m sure this hand-wringing is intended as a joke, but outside of the utter wrong-headedness of the notion, I fail to see the humor. Critics, of course, are immersed in pop culture, but Bart is talking about videogames and short films on YouTube featuring women having diarrhea in hot tubs and the overheated bellowing of WWE wrestlers, the sort of things that appeal to those who would enjoy the aforementioned hit movies but exist outside the purview of Bart’s perception of ivory-tower critics. Were they to absorb those entertainments, Bart seems certain, their reviews would read, “‘300’ is an inane, homoerotic gorefest, sure, but presented far more stylishly than WWE wrestling” or “‘Norbit’ is crass, pandering drivel, but crafted with a little more facility than that 20-second film on YouTube featuring a girl crapping in a hot tub.” </p> <p>Of course, if critics were to review movies on the basis of their potential popularity, they’d lose all credibility with the people who actually <i>do</i></a> read reviews. It’s not the media’s job to cheerlead for the movie studios (well, except for Entertainment Weekly), nor is it the media’s job to blindly advocate for whatever it perceives to be the will of the people: They did that recently, and four years later, we’re seeing how well that worked out in Iraq.</p> <p>But let’s take Bart’s assertion – that the capricious entertainment decisions made by those leading unexamined lives deserve validation between the pages of our nation’s leading publications – to its Kurtzian endgame. Magazines will print garrulous investigative pieces revealing that whiny children should be spared nothing, no toy nor candy chunk that by chance traverses their peripheral vision. Newspapers will publish editorials arguing that if a President wants to engage in dubious, even treasonous, behavior, who are we to complain, because that might just hurt his feelings. Despite her irrelevance in the larger world, websites will report breathlessly on every public sighting of Paris Hilton. (Oh, wait, that one’s already happening.)</p> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.amazon.com/Idiocracy-Luke-Wilson/dp/B000K7VHOG/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-7060984-2375140?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1174165020&sr=8-1" target="new">And you know where that leads us, don’t you?</a></p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13352" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/hockey-banned-ties-on-jeopardy.html">Hockey banned ties; on "Jeopardy!", however... </a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 16, 2007 8:35 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/hockey-banned-ties-on-jeopardy.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/hockey-banned-ties-on-jeopardy.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>So tonight’s historic “Jeopardy!” event: <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.kingworldcreativeservices.com/ReferenceMaterial/jeop_Three_Way_Tie.jpg" target="new">A first-time three-way tie.</a></p> <p>All three contestants ended with $16,000. The show really should’ve had a contingency plan for something like this – a steel cage match, for example. That way, “Jeopardy!” wouldn’t just appeal to egghead game show aficionados, but WWE fans, as well. And my money would be on the guy in the middle in the photo linked above.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13290" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/abc-always-be-cankerous.html">ABC: Always Be Cankerous </a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 16, 2007 12:38 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/abc-always-be-cankerous.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/abc-always-be-cankerous.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Mark your calendars: On May 18, ABC knocks the quality of television down another notch or two with “National Bingo Night.” Do you really need any more details? OK, one: You’ll be able to play along online. Bingo’s a stupefyingly somnolent game under the best of circumstances; I can’t imagine how much delightful fun it’ll be watching others playing it or playing alone at home. </p> <p>ABC’s also uncorking another “celebrity” reality contest, misleadingly titled “Fast Cars & Superstars.” William Shatner (who, as “Show Me the Money” proved, will do <i>anything),</i></a> John Elway, Serena Williams, Jewel, Tony Hawk and a bunch of people I’ve either never heard or nor particularly clamored to see will receive instruction from NASCAR drivers and compete in speed trials. If ABC really wants people to watch this, they should put these guys in actual races and let them bump one another and cut each other off. Call it “Celebrity Slaughterhouse” or “D-List Demolition Derby.” <i>Then</i></a> you’ve got yourself a show.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13263" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/great8mandate-2-can-gilmore-gi.html">Great8Mandate 2: Can “Gilmore Girls” be saved?</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 16, 2007 2:46 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/great8mandate-2-can-gilmore-gi.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/great8mandate-2-can-gilmore-gi.html#comments">Comments (34)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>No issue seems to be of higher concern to readers of this blog than <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/2007/02/four_more_years_well_at_least.html" target="new">whether or not “Gilmore Girls” will return next season</a> – which is wholly understandable, given that this isn’t Daily Kos, where readers’re absolutely rabid about the situation in Iraq and the whole Justice Department scandal, and anyway, “Gilmore Girls” is no doubt the best show whose fate hangs in the balance. </p> <p><i>Nothing</i></a> I’ve written about, here or in print, has elicited such passionate response. I wrote the entry linked above three weeks ago, and I’m <i>still</i></a> getting Email about it. </p> <p>Including this one, which arrived Thursday:</p> <p>“Hi Mr. Kronke, It's [NAME REDACTED ON ADVICE FROM KARL ROVE] ... one of your GilmoreGirls.org Great8Mandate fans. I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to try and get your opinion on the following. Recently, the news for a possible season 8 hasn't been very positive. This week both Kristin Veitch from E! Online and Michael Ausiello from TV Guide reported that season 8 looks unlikely because Alexis Bledel is apparently unwilling to sign on. However, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.eonline.com/gossip/kristin/blog/index.jsp?uuid=75a31622-f0e6-4166-be21-798de6671716">just today Kristin also reported that, ‘With actual tears in my eyes, I must tell you that I’ve heard from several solid sources that the CW has decided not to bring “Veronica Mars” back for a fourth season. Though official word has not yet come down from the network, I did hear from creator Rob Thomas earlier this week, who told me things weren’t looking good...’</a> (An interesting side note is that Kristin's Veronica Mars news article was only online for a few hours. I'm guessing she was pressured to take it down.)”</p> <p>[MAYORAL SIGNING STATEMENT: I've reconstituted the above link to take you to an update. What might’ve been originally scratched from the official website was the emphatic nature of the original headline, which the story itself didn’t justify. Though one still wonders just how often the estimable Ms. Veitch has occasion to invite fake tears in her eyes.] </p> <p>Anyway, my correspondent continued: </p> <p>“Here's what I'd like to ask The Mayor of Television ... assuming that Veronica Mars really is dead and gone, how can The CW afford (ratings wise/network wise) to lose both it and Gilmore Girls? Wouldn't it then be relying heavily on lesser shows that are already on their last legs and putting a lot of hope into new pilots? Couldn't that backfire terribly? Does a Veronica Mars cancellation give new promise to a Gilmore Girls renewal?</p> <p>“Any TV expert insight would really be appreciated! Thank you for your time.”</p> <p>Thoughtfully, and only nominally long-windedly, I responded: </p> <p>“I don't think it's an either-or with GG and VM. With VM, it's the simple fact that the show just does not get very good ratings. People expected VM to do considerably better with GG as a lead-in, but it didn't really hold on to much of that audience. In fact, the Pussycat Dolls reality show, which seems far less compatible with GG, is doing much better in that timeslot. Part of the problem with VM may have been its serialized storytelling; we've seen what happened to all those new serialized shows that began the season. (When the show returns, it will be as a series of stand-alone episodes, but that may be too little, too late.)</p> <p>“With GG, it's a matter of economics and casting. No one's left on contract (generally, actors sign a six-year contract with a show, re-upping a year at a time after that), and I’ve heard Bledel has already checked out psychologically [PARENTHETICALLY ADDED RUMOR REDACTED ON ADVICE FROM ALBERTO GONZALEZ, AND BECAUSE THAT’S JUST NOT THE WAY THIS BLOG ROLLS]. Lauren Graham is the lynchpin in all of this. If they can cajole her to return, they can piece together enough for a season eight. </p> <p>“I would really hate to be a CW executive right now. The network's Sunday night is tanking, its Monday night is on the decline, they may not be able to bring back either of their Tuesday shows. That's half their schedule right there. Were things going better, they'd probably cancel "One Tree Hill," since it's not doing all that well, but all the holes in their schedule will probably preclude that. They'll probably bring back "Seventh Heaven" for another season, as well, if they can't hold on to GG and maybe even if they can.</p> <p>“CW doesn't develop as many new shows for the upcoming season as the other networks, so they have less to choose from, and, as a columnist for the Onion noted, ‘all of the titles of the CW's pilots sound like they were taken from a “Mad TV” sketch about network executives.’ I'm thinking they're going to turn to some more really cheaply produced reality shows like Search for the New Doll, maybe cut an hour from their Monday sitcoms ("Seventh Heaven" did better on Mondays, anyway).</p> <p>“Of course, I advocated shutting down UPN long ago. And The WB was doing well until they dumped Jordan Levin as its Entertainment president and brought in guys who decided to torpedo its focus on viewers 18-34 and cooked up all sorts of junk appealing to older viewers (i.e., people like THEM) and then it, too went off the rails. </p> <p>“So The CW was always a marriage of convenience, and the children simply don't play together very well.</p> <p>“Ultimately, I'd say that at this point, The CW will do whatever it will takes to bring back GG -- except bankrupt itself. Unfortunately, that might be precisely what it takes.”</p> <p>Herewith, your challenge: Concoct the best/smartest/dumbest/cleverest reason The CW should bring “Gilmore Girls” back, along with a compelling strategy to lure Lauren Graham back for an eighth year. The winner will receive the coupon for a no-doubt-edible fast-food delectable item thrust upon me when I left Thursday night’s L.A. Kings' somewhat fruitless hockey game (see the below blog entry), as well as some entertainingly cheesy TV-related tchotchke that, in coming years, you might actually come to value (or try, immediately, to pawn off on susceptible eBay users). Enter early and often! CW Entertainment president Dawn Ostroff could probably profit off your insight <i>now.</i></a></p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13261" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/no-idols-before-me.html">No “Idols” before me</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 16, 2007 1:52 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/no-idols-before-me.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/no-idols-before-me.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Ryan Seacrest turned up at the Kings game Thursday night at Staples Center, mainly to wave at the crowd for a couple of seconds. For his troubles, he was booed as much if not more than he was cheered. Make of this what you will. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13249" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/democrats-colbert-retort.html">Democrats' "Colbert" Retort</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 15, 2007 6:15 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/democrats-colbert-retort.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/democrats-colbert-retort.html#comments">Comments (2)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/emanuel-tells-freshmen-to-avoid-stephen-colbert-2007-03-14.html" target="new">Democratic Caucus chairman Rahm Emmanuel has instructed Democratic Congressmen to avoid “The Colbert Report” lest they find themselves in an embarrassing situation they can’t wriggle themselves out of.</a></p> <p>Republicans avoid the show anyway, realizing Colbert will make them look bad (an exception was a Georgia Congressman who had entered a bill ordering the Ten Commandments be displayed in government buildings; when Colbert asked him to list the Ten Commandments, the guy came up stone-cold empty). Democrats, understanding that Colbert’s a liberal in conservative’s clothing, good-naturedly appear, but he usually makes them look silly, anyway.</p> <p>Of course, some of the Congressmen clearly are playing along and only an idiot would call them on their appearance. When Colbert asked Florida Congressman Robert Wexler to finish the sentence “I snort cocaine because,” Wexler didn’t hesitate in replying, “Because it’s fun.” (Of course, he was running unopposed in his district, so there was no one around to make an issue out of his joke.) More recently, Kentucky representative John Yarmuth, asked by Colbert to debate him on an issue, happily argued for throwing kittens in wood chippers when Colbert boldly took a stance against the practice. </p> <p>We should all sincerely hope that Democrats ignore Emmanuel on this one. And maybe, just maybe, eventually one of them might get the upper hand on Mr. Colbert. But probably not. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13242" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/knocked-ups-knockout-mastermin-1.html">“Knocked Up’s” knockout mastermind</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 15, 2007 4:32 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/knocked-ups-knockout-mastermin-1.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/knocked-ups-knockout-mastermin-1.html#comments">Comments (2)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Television will rue the day it abandoned Judd Apatow, who served as executive producer on three great shows – “Freaks and Geeks,” “Undeclared” (which he also created) and “The Ben Stiller Show” – all of which got ecstatic reviews, underwhelming support from their networks and general disinterest from viewers, and all which struggled to last for a single season. His last TV pilot, “North Hollywood,” didn’t even get that far. Not coddling a guy this talented (he also wrote for “The Larry Sanders Show”) was a cataclysmic mistake. </p> <p>But it has allowed for two spectacularly funny movies. The other evening, I saw <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117933072.html?categoryid=1263&cs=1" target="new">“Knocked Up,”</a> Apatow’s follow-up to his hit “The 40 Year Old Virgin;” Variety is engaging in very little hyperbole when it writes, “Line for line, minute to minute, writer-director Judd Apatow's latest effort is more explosively funny, more frequently, than nearly any other major studio release in recent memory” (the guy may be forgetting “Borat,” but still). This has “word-of-mouth smash hit” written all over it; Apatow will never again have to worry about network neglect or viewer apathy. </p> <p>“Knocked Up” stars Seth Rogen (who has worked with Apatow on “Freaks and Geeks,” “Undeclared” (on which he also served as a writer), “Anchorman” (which Apatow produced), “40 Year Old Virgin” and “North Hollywood”) as a pot-addled slacker who gets way luckier than he ever expected one evening when he has a one-night-stand a beautiful, driven career woman who celebrates her recent promotion a little too much (Katherine Heigl, and suddenly it’s apparent why she’s wanting either a lot more love or her walking papers from “Grey’s Anatomy” – here, she establishes herself as an A-list romantic-comedy star). A little too much? Make that waaay too much – after all, she sleeps with a portly stoner. And gets pregnant. Complications ensue. And ensue. </p> <p>It’s hard to overstate just how profanely funny this film is. (One thing I take issue with in the Variety review is what constitutes the film’s funniest sequence. It’s clearly the one in which Rogen and Paul Rudd visit Vegas on hallucinogenic mushrooms and have their minds blown by Cirque du Soleil and, later, their hotel room.) But it’s also the rare poor-taste comedy that actually earns its emotional moments, as well (the other in this category being, well, “40 Year Old Virgin”). Even the most minor roles are richly and hilariously written. And “Virgin’s” insult banter most gratifyingly returns. </p> <p>And Apatow manages all this with a stable of performers he’s been using much of his career. Herewith, in addition to Rogen, “Knocked Up’s” Judd Apatow Players: </p> <p>Paul Rudd (“40 Year Old Virgin,” “Anchorman”)<br/> Leslie Mann (“40 Year Old Virgin,” “Freaks and Geeks”)<br/> Jay Baruchel (“Undeclared”)<br/> Jonah Hill (“40 Year Old Virgin”)<br/> Jason Segel (“Freaks and Geeks,” “Undeclared,” “North Hollywood”)<br/> Martin Starr (“Freaks and Geeks,” “Undeclared”)<br/> Louden Wainwright III (“40 Year Old Virgin,” “Undeclared”)<br/> Steve Carell (who has a cameo as himself – I don’t have to tell you what he was in) </p> <p>With any luck, this bunch will be working together for a long time. Just not for TV: We had our chance, and we blew it. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13232" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-sopranos-sing-a-little.html">"The Sopranos" sing, a little</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 15, 2007 2:26 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-sopranos-sing-a-little.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-sopranos-sing-a-little.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Given how notoriously tight-lipped David Chase and his crew are about all things “The Sopranos,” I was curious to see if Peter Biskind would be able to elicit anything of interest from them in this month’s Vanity Fair cover story. The answer: Not so much. </p> <p>The most interesting anecdote actually occurs in <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/03/chase200703?currentPage=1" target="new">an online-only interview with Tim Van Patten, who relates an amusing tale of some of the cast and crew encountering the real thug life in Naples.</a></p> <p>As for the article itself, not much that isn’t already known is revealed. Chase’s grumpily misanthropic nature is discussed, a story about James Gandolfini trashing a phone booth because he couldn’t get a scene right is shared, Chase’s disdain for television in general is revisited. HBO’s skittishness over the title (suggested alternatives: “New Jersey Blood,” “Family Man” – the latter was scotched when “Family Guy” appeared) and Tony’s brutal whacking of a guy in the classic episode “College” get some ink. </p> <p>As does Chase’s longstanding hopes to break into filmmaking, where he thinks he can create some real art. It’s unclear why Chase reveres film so much over television these days; clearly, he doesn’t get out to see many movies, or he’d realize that most of them are just as puerile as most TV is. There’s actually more high-quality television being created these days than top-notch films. Chase really needs to get over his enduring inferiority complex on this issue: He has not only created arguably the greatest television series ever, but raised the level of play all around; chances are slim that he’ll have that same impact on film history. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13218" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/asleep-on-the-job.html">Asleep on the job</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 15, 2007 11:55 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/asleep-on-the-job.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/asleep-on-the-job.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2007/03/14/2007-03-14_wabc_anchor_snoozes_and_loses_his_job-3.html" target="new">A New York morning-news anchor for a local station got dumped last week for dozing through a newsbreak about a tragic Bronx house fire that made national headlines.</a></p> <p>Ordinarily, this sort of thing wouldn’t interest me, but it turns out that I used to know the guy – Steve Bartelstein and I worked at the same college radio station. He was a charming and funny guy – he broke down laughing on air once during a “special report” we were doing during finals week on a phys-ed class’s final exam, a ping pong game; the lackadaisical sound effect of the ball bouncing back and forth sent him into paroxysms of laughter from which he just barely recovered. </p> <p>Bartelstein, the report says, had gotten away with many indiscretions before this final transgression. And, yeah, I remember that side of him, too: He borrowed my car once to meet with a radio station manager; two months later, I got an overdue notice for a parking ticket near the station. I later found the ticket stuffed down next to my driver’s seat.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13184" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/jack-black-aims-for-acceptable.html">Jack Black aims for "Acceptable"</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 14, 2007 5:23 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/jack-black-aims-for-acceptable.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/jack-black-aims-for-acceptable.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Many years ago, in a workplace cafeteria, I noticed, behind the ladies in the hairnets and plastic gloves, detailed, Goldilocks-style instructions on pizza preparation. Photo One featured a pizza with burnt cheese; beneath it was the word “No.” Photo Three (We’ll get to Photo Two in a second; calm down, for heaven’s sake – it best serves the narrative drive to do it this way) offered a pizza whose mozzarella was still white and chalky looking, clearly undercooked; the legend beneath it likewise read, “No.” Photo Two offered the spectacle of a pizza whose cheese had been baked to an eye-pleasing goldenrod and burnt sienna. Beneath it was the word “Acceptable.” </p> <p>I was proud yet somewhat humbled to be dining at an establishment whose culinary demands rose to the rigorous level of “Acceptable.” </p> <p>(That workplace cafeteria? The hated cross-town rival: <i>The Los Angeles Times.)</i></a></p> <p>Jack Black clearly believes that Television should be held to similar high standards of quality, for his production company has created <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://acceptable.tv/" target="new">“Acceptable TV,”</a> a new series premiering March 23 on VH1, with a few sketches available now online. Including three featuring Black (who won’t actually be appearing much on the show itself) sort of over-explaining how the concept works. </p> <p>Which is this: The show will run five short sketches, “each no longer than three minutes,” like that’s a huge selling point; after watching them, you can go online and vote for your favorites, which will return with new episodes the following week (the others, no doubt, will be consigned to the dustbin of television history that is <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.brilliantbutcancelled.com/" target="new">BrilliantButCancelled.com).</a> You can also submit your own short films for online viewers to vote on; the most popular will actually land on VH1. </p> <p>(It took nine minutes to explain <i>that?) </i></a></p> <p>This is “groundbreaking,” we’re informed. </p> <p>The show itself is funny enough. Episode one’s sketches include “Joke Chasers,” a parody of the Sci Fi Channel’s “Ghost Hunters,” in which a couple of obsessed doofuses track down the etymological and historical roots of old bad jokes; “Who Farted?”, an overheated, product-placement laden game show a la “Deal or No Deal” or, more closely, “Identity;” “Homeless James Bond,” in which the destitute hero battles a dead-rat-stroking criminal mastermind who bellows his intentions: “Soon, I will no longer be homeless – soon, I will be <i>poooor!”;</i></a> “The Teensies;” about a mouse-sized, clean-living family living in boors’ homes; and “Mr. Sprinkles,” a cartoon about a creature who’s sort of like “The Cat in the Hat,” only he’s psychotic and terrifies kids. </p> <p>Online, you can see “My Black Friend,” a reality show in which five African-Americans compete to become pals with a white guy (gasp! It’s over four minutes long!) and “Superhawk,” a military action “drama” with a decidedly uncharismatic lead actor.</p> <p>Of these, “The Teensies” and “Who Farted?” both sort of seem to have spent all their comic potential in their initial offerings (of course, “Deal or No Deal” is similarly one-note, but that doesn’t seem to have hurt it any). “Acceptable TV” has an amiable, tossed-off vibe to it, particularly in its half-hearted attempts at product-placement and its ambivalence at being part of a larger corporate culture: In one of the online training films, one actor somewhat over-emphatically proclaims the proceedings to be “Brought to you by Viacom, <i>bitch!”</i></a></p> <p>- “Acceptable TV:” 10 p.m. March 23; VH1.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13178" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/answer-in-the-form-of-a-questi.html">Answer in the form of a question</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 14, 2007 3:47 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/answer-in-the-form-of-a-questi.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/answer-in-the-form-of-a-questi.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>For what it’s worth, this announcement was issued today: </p> <p>"This Friday, March 16th, 2007...and for the first time in 23 years, "Jeopardy!" history will be made. </p> <p>"It was such a remarkable event we consulted a Game Theory expert and he said it may never happen again! I wish I could give you more information about this special show, unfortunately, I can only encourage you and your valuable readers to watch Friday's program. Alex Trebek and our producers remain mum and I, myself, have been sworn to secrecy."</p> <p>OK, time to guess just what was so earth-shattering that they had to go to all the trouble of sending out a press release. Choose from the options below, or feel free to formulate your own theory.</p> <p>* No Metamucil commercial runs during the show.<br/> * God comes down from heaven to ask Alex Trebek to ascend to his celestial paradise and sit alongside Him and Jesus.<br/> * Paris Hilton wins.<br/> * The State Department invades the set and accuses the show’s producers of inserting coded messages to al-Qaeda in their answers.<br/> * Lindsay Lohan wins.<br/> * The cast of “The Golden Girls” makes a “surprise” appearance touting their never-aired Season Eight DVD collection, available in stores now!<br/> * Jessica Simpson wins, but only because all the questions are about her personal life, and she even gets some of them wrong.<br/> * None of the contestants are able to answer even one question correctly. (No, wait, that’d happen on “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”)<br/> * One contestant answers all the questions correctly. <br/> * Even though all the questions are about her personal life, Britney Spears <i>still</i></a> loses.</p> <p>- “Jeopardy!”: 7 p.m., Channel 7 in Los Angeles; check local listings. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13171" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/no-bones-about-it.html">No "Bones" about it</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 14, 2007 12:59 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/no-bones-about-it.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/no-bones-about-it.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Perhaps more than any other show, Fox’s “Bones” blends incredibly grisly murders with droll, even light-hearted, humor (“NCIS” would come close, except for its body count among regular characters). Tonight, we’re treated to not one, not two, but three glimpses of corpses eaten by animals – two still in the process.</p> <p>More worrying for Temperance Brennan (Emily Deschanel), however, is the fact that each of the murders is a copycat killing taken from the pages of her latest best-selling novel, which becomes even better-selling when news of the murders gets out. </p> <p>Meanwhile, things aren’t so dire that her romance with Agent Sullivan (Eddie McClintock) can’t proceed apace while Booth (David Boreanaz) watches hangdog in the distance while encouraging her happiness. But don’t get too comfortable with a blissful Bones, however: Sullivan jumps the gun next week. (You didn’t really think things’d work out between Brennan and Sullivan, what with all the chemistry Deschanel and Boreanaz exude, did you?)</p> <p>Apparently, the book drops like a stone from the best-seller lists after tonight’s murders are solved, because it gets nary a mention next week. Still, to assuage audiences of that disappointment, we’re allowed to wallow in the spectacle of a corpse who has had all of her bones removed, leaving just floppy skin behind. That case involves bizarre ancient Chinese rituals and skeletons and, for an added bonus, that showboating running style used in “Casino Royale.” And, of course, no end of glibness towards the remains of sadistically murdered humans. No bones about it - see? The attitude's infectious.</p> <p>- “Bones:” 8 tonight; Fox (Channel 11). </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13111" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/purgatory-with-kelly-ripa.html">Purgatory with Kelly Ripa!</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 13, 2007 11:57 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/purgatory-with-kelly-ripa.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/purgatory-with-kelly-ripa.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Anderson Cooper is sitting alongside gabby Kelly Ripa for a couple of days on “Live with Regis & Kelly” while Regis Philbin’s out getting heart bypass surgery. So much for that whole serious-journalist thing. </p> <p>* </p> <p>Bravo has acquired <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/" target="new">TelevisionWithoutPity.com,</a> so get ready for some curiously unsnarky, even glowing reviews at the site for “Project Runway,” “Real Housewives of Orange County” and “Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List.” As well as the curious disappearance of any show not produced by NBC-Universal from its rolls. </p> <p>* </p> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=entertainmentNews&storyid=2007-03-13T065200Z_01_N13400123_RTRUKOC_0_US-POPE.xml&src=rss&rpc=22" target="new">The Vatican’s going Hollywood, announcing plans to launch its own TV network.</a> A few days ago, Pope Benedict XVI declared of mass media, “Much of what is transmitted in various forms to the homes of millions of families around the world is destructive.” So, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.</p> <p>But I’m looking forward to the programming VTV, or whatever it’ll be called (H2O, apparently), will present: “Italy’s Funniest Home Transgressions,” the reality series “Real Housewives of Purgatory,” the game show “Are You Smarter than an Altar Boy?” and, of course, “Live with Pope Benedict XVI & Kelly.” (Feel free to add your own!)</p> <p>*</p> <p>Speaking of Purgatory, 16.67 million people watched a two-hour version of “Deal or No Deal” last night. <i>Two hours?</i></a> Wouldn’t a morphine drip be more effective? </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13107" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/down-the-youtubes.html">Down the YouTubes</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 13, 2007 11:22 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/down-the-youtubes.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/down-the-youtubes.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=internetNews&storyID=2007-03-13T171812Z_01_WEN5351_RTRUKOC_0_US-VIACOM-YOUTUBE.xml&WTmodLoc=NewsArt-C2-NextArticle-2" target="new">That long-awaited other shoe has finally dropped, and like an anvil: Viacom is suing YouTube for $1 billion for copyright infringement.</a></p> <p>(Seems like only yesterday that Viacom’s own Stephen Colbert was using YouTube to promote his show via the Greenscreen Challenge.)</p> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.blogmaverick.com/2007/03/08/supoenas-and-gootube/" target="new">This, after Mark Cuban subpoenaed YouTube to discover just who it is who’s posting all those videos that constitute copyright infringement.</a></p> <p>Cuban’s been out in front of this from the beginning. He scoffed when Google bought YouTube for $1.65 billion, noting that having a deep-pockets company owning what amounts to a pirate station opens it up for all sorts of litigation. </p> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.blogmaverick.com/2007/02/28/oscars-com-vs-youtube-com-and-the-value-of-hosting-on-gootube/" target="new">He also cooked up an ingenious scheme that’d help content owners maintain control over their product, not to mention create a world of broadband chaos.</a></p> <p>“YouTube proponents want everyone to believe that every impression is a new found impression that can only benefit the brand,” Cuban wrote. “Others, myself included believe the opposite. That the last thing you ever want is for another entity, that is completely out of your control, becoming the defacto manager of your brand.”</p> <p>His solution? Referring specifically to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences ordering YouTube to expunge all Oscar-night clips from the site, Cuban wrote, “I would have created a video that showed the first 10 (seconds) of the clip, then had 4 minutes of a billboard that said, ‘Great videos from the Oscars telecast and exclusive behind the scenes videos are all available at Oscars.com.’</p> <p>“In addition to the billboard in the video, you would have an active link to Oscars.com on the Youtube video page. <b>I wouldn’t post this video 1 time. I would post this video 100 times.</b></a></p> <p>“And I would do the same thing for EVERY moment and segment in the Oscars.</p> <p>“The reality is that YouTube viewers will grow tired of scanning through every video and just click over to Oscars.com where they will see all the unique video that isn't anywhere on YouTube along with the Oscars.com paying advertisers.”</p> <p>Essentially, Cuban’s advocating using great swatches another site’s bandwidth to tout your own. </p> <p>So, YouTube – beloved for bringing the Museum of Television and Radio to our homes, as well as for providing as much weird junk as you could possibly ever want to see – faces some tough choices ahead. If it scraps all its films with copyrights owned by corporations staffed to the gills with attorneys in favor of only quirky home movies, it becomes a less-emphatic destination; it transforms itself from Wal-Mart into the mom-and-pop shop that Wal-Mart shuts down. And it certainly doesn’t earn its $1.65 billion. </p> <p>And what about the hilarious fake movie trailers and video montages lovingly edited together from scenes from film and TV shows by fans and people with too much free time on their hands? They’d likely fall under fair use, but you know how it is with corporate attorneys.</p> <p>Enjoy YouTube now, before it looks like the virtual equivalent of New York after a blackout, when the only thing you’ll find to watch are those guys putting Mentos in a Coke bottle. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13068" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/impious-thoughts-with-eddie-iz.html">Impious Thoughts with Eddie Izzard</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 12, 2007 2:55 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/impious-thoughts-with-eddie-iz.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/impious-thoughts-with-eddie-iz.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.dailynews.com/tv/ci_5400523" target="new">Eddie Izzard</a> has taken a break from standup comedy to star in <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.dailynews.com/tv/ci_5400496" target="new">FX’s “The Riches,”</a> a new drama about a family of con artists who assume the identity of an upscale couple killed en route to a new community. But he says he’ll resume his show (he plays the Coronet on La Cienega) when he wraps production next month. </p> <p>Though he was suffering from a stomach bug, Izzard agreed to sit for an interview on the set of “The Riches” before being whisked off to the hospital for some antibiotics. He spoke about a routine he’s been developing on creationism. </p> <p>“Which, somehow, everyone happily agreed to change the word creationism into ‘intelligent design,’” Izzard says. “But if it was intelligent, there’d be some f@$&ing; logic going on. It seems to be sporadic, confused progression, and that doesn’t seem to have a brain behind working everything out. Because with intelligent design, you wouldn’t have any earthquakes. No earthquakes – they’re not very intelligent.</p> <p>“You spent all this time creating all these animals, and then you blow them all away 65 million years ago? Why’d you make the big ones? Why’d you make the big, stupid ones? This is not intelligent design – this, at best, is trial and error. And that sounds like a human being to me. </p> <p>“I’m interested in this, how this world came about. When you say someone created things in seven days, that is, essentially, what we call ‘magic.’ So I’m afraid I don’t go with it.”</p> <p>From there, conversation shifted to the recent Discovery Channel special, “The Lost Tomb of Jesus.” </p> <p>Though he hadn’t seen the film, Izzard said, “I do find that fascinating. There’s this online book that I downloaded – ‘The Jesus Dynasty,’ I think it’s called? So I started looking into that. </p> <p>“I do think he was around. Like Gandhi, he went out against an entrenched military dictatorship, said his piece, got more involved, people thought it very refreshing. He would’ve been married – that’s the thing with Jewish rabbis, you would’ve had to’ve been married and have a family and things in order to advise people, which is where the Catholic church has gone so way wrong. I do think the truth is out there.”</p> <p>And from there, he started riffing on the subject. </p> <p>“There’s a huge fact that I haven’t had doubly corroborated, which is that the Greek word for ‘young woman’ and the Greek word for ‘virgin’ are the same word. So Mary was either a virgin – and that’s really quite amazing and magical – or she was a young woman who had a baby, and, well, one or two of those have happened along the way. The fact that no one’s pounding on the difference between those two – that one fact, that one fact, everything that comes out of that – and also, it takes away from the guy. </p> <p>If the guy’s magical, then what’s the big deal? He was up on the cross and suffering – well, f@%& it, he was magical. He knew he was going to live forever and have a whole religion based on him. Or, he was a real guy up there – and, dear God, what a hellish time he had up there, to put down some truth and say we should try to get along with each other. I much more believe in this bloke. </p> <p>“Mary had a kid, and then had a bunch of kids with Joseph. I find that interesting, because if you’re magical and you’re a virgin – why’d you have all the other kids? Wouldn’t that be a little impure as a holy vessel? </p> <p>“But we can’t work out the death of Kennedy; how are we going to work out this?”</p> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.dailynews.com/tv/ci_5400905" target="new">- “The Riches,” 10 tonight; FX.</a></p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13044" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/old-christine-gets-older.html">"Old Christine" gets older</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 12, 2007 12:11 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/old-christine-gets-older.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/old-christine-gets-older.html#comments">Comments (2)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Inexplicably, CBS has found success in the abject sitcom “Rules of Engagement,” which means it will likely be tearing up its Monday sitcom lineup come the fall-2007 season. “The Class” is almost assuredly gone; that show about meeting someone’s mother that actually hasn’t bothered to introduce the mother after two seasons is doing well only if you’re keeping track on a Special-Olympics-style scorecard and “The New Adventures of Old Christine” is, well, not exactly wowing everyone. </p> <p>Hence, the network is trying to instill fresh blood in “Old Christine” with a double-pump of new episodes tonight. And I’m not sure the gambit works: Despite some initial comic inspiration (Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, starring as a foundering divorcee, won an Emmy last year), the show has emerged as a fairly middling endeavor. Unless your only other alternative is sitting through “Deal or No Deal,” “The New Adventures of Old Christine” really can’t be recommended.</p> <p>In tonight’s first installment, Christine dabbles with sleep medication with ostensibly comic side effects. I counted maybe three one-liners that someone might actually genuinely find amusing (the studio audience on the (ostensibly) unsweetened laugh track sounded similarly uninspired) and a plot twist that should surprise, exactly, no one. </p> <p>In the second episode, Christine, worrying that she’s lost her allure, gets it on (sort of) with her ex’s brother, who has a secret (almost). Again, a line or two almost approaches garnering genuine laughs, while the remainder of the punchlines emerge as the sort of wan, listless semi-insults that tend to populate the genre of late, and the plot mechanism that’s intended to launch the episode into paroxysms of hilarity is, well, per the title, pretty “Old” hat. </p> <p>Which is too bad: Louis-Dreyfuss pours her all into her role. Give her the writers that “Seinfeld” enjoyed in its heyday, and she’d be golden here. (She comes pretty close, nonetheless; far better than she managed in her flailing, short-lived NBC sitcom “Watching Ellie.”) </p> <p>Still, there’s nothing here beyond Louis-Dreyfuss’ charm to hook viewers into watching. “Old Christine” has become old, indeed, a typically wan sitcom in a TV landscape that eats lame sitcoms for brunch and leaves their bones on the sidewalks for diminutive Pekingeses to sniff at, then reject.</p> <p>- “The New Adventures of Old Christine;” 8 and 8:30 tonight; hereafter, 8:30 p.m. Mondays. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-13041" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/fox-news-comedy-channels-imper.html">Fox News Comedy Channel's imperative</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 11, 2007 11:28 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/fox-news-comedy-channels-imper.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/fox-news-comedy-channels-imper.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>The Fox News Channel has ordered another 13 episodes of its satirical news program “The 1/2 – Hour News Hour,” produced by “24” mastermind Joel Surnow, despite middling ratings (though it’s broadcast on Sundays, when against high-powered competition such a show can only really <i>dream</i></a> about middling ratings) and reviews that might charitably be described as unkind.<br/> <br/> Critics – <i>liberals all,</i></a> no doubt – kvetched, essentially, that the humor simply wasn’t funny and that some sequences – such as one bit about Barack Obama – were offensive.</p> <p>Not funny? Offensive? Heck, that means <i>I</i></a> could score a staff-writer’s job on “The 1/2 – Hour Comedy Hour!” </p> <p>Herewith, my stab at TV immortality, my demo reel for “The 1/2 – Hour Comedy Hour:” </p> <p>Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards has released a comprehensive national health-care plan that promises to provide health insurance for virtually every American. Analysts say the plan can’t possibly hope to work because liberals are <i>stupid.</i></a></p> <p>Possible GOP Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich made a pre-emptive strike before entering the political fray, acknowledging that he was involved in an extra-marital affair while he was leading the charge to get former President Bill Clinton impeached for roughly the same offense. Gingrich explained that the difference was, “I was doing it as a show of my political power, whereas Clinton was doing it because he’s an immoral horndog.” </p> <p>The war in Iraq is going so well… (studio audience: “How well is it going?”) … it’s going so well that a platoon of soldiers in Baghdad today reported passing a school playground and that none of the children on it had a rocket launcher. And only two kids had automatic weapons. </p> <p>Meanwhile, birdbrained critics of the war in Iraq complained that billions of dollars tied to the war effort have simply gone missing or have been squandered, and that much of the purportedly wasted cash is due to the actions of Halliburton, the company formerly run by Vice President Dick Cheney. A Halliburton spokesperson replied, “Yes, we have flushed a lot of money down the toilet, but look on the bright side – at least it wasn’t wasted on social programs helping the needy!”</p> <p>Meanwhile, Vice President Cheney has come under fire by the so-called mainstream media, with negative stories about his office coming from both Time and Newsweek this past week. A spokesman for Cheney responded, “Mr. Cheney has made only one mistake in his time in office. Consider all the people he <i>could’ve</i></a> shot – and he ends up shooting someone he actually <i>likes?”</i></a></p> <p>This weekend at the box office, the movie “300,” about a whole bunch of buff men in short skivvies running around topless and well-oiled up, made a whopping $70 million in three days. Hollywood analysts attributed this wild success to theater owners’ new “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.</p> <p>Senator Joe Biden apologized for calling fellow Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Hussein Obama “clean,” explaining that he meant to use the word “fresh.” Women who dated Obama in his days as a coke-quaffing high-school and college student said, “Yes, ‘fresh’ describes Obama better than ‘clean.’” </p> <p>Hillary Clinton entered the 2008 Presidential campaign with the slogan that she is “in it to win it.” No, that’s it; that’s the joke – if you’re watching Fox News, you’re supposed to find that notion knee-slappingly <i>hilarious.</i></a></p> <p>U.S. Attorney Alberto Gonzalez is under fire from lunkheaded liberals who want him to resign who claim he has politicized the position by firing a number of federal prosecutors and overlooking the FBI’s illegal applications of the Patriot Act by illicitly obtaining records of American citizens. President Bush’s response to critics was, “But you’re saying that like it was a <i>bad</i></a> thing."</p> <p>“24” star Kiefer Sutherland has been asked by Brigadier General Patrick Finnegan to try to convince Army graduates at West Point that torture methods do not work. Why should soldiers listen to Hollywood stars? Everyone knows Hollywood is filled with liberals – and that liberals are <i>stupid.</i></a></p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12990" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/fox-noise-kerfuffle-the-sequel.html">Fox Noise Kerfuffle: The Sequel</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 10, 2007 2:33 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/fox-noise-kerfuffle-the-sequel.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/fox-noise-kerfuffle-the-sequel.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/03/10/america/NA-POL-US-Debate-Cancelled.php" target="new">So the Democratic Party in Nevada has cancelled a debate that was to be sponsored by Fox News, expressing umbrage over a joke made by network head Roger Ailes.</a></p> <p>Ailes, speaking in Washington Thursday at an event with a name too long and unevocative to bother with, said, "And it is true that Barack Obama is on the move. I don't know if it's true that President Bush called Musharraf and said, 'Why can't we catch this guy?" </p> <p>Actually, the joke sort of scans as a take on Bush's stupidity, though obviously Fox News has made plenty of meaningless hay out of Obama's middle name being Hussein. But House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has done similar material, recalling with bemusement the startled look on President Bush's face when he saw her wearing an Obama button during his campaign for the Senate. </p> <p>Again, this makes the Democrats look defensive, and gives Fox News <i>carte blanche</i></a> to mock them for their touchiness. If this is the kind of thing they're spending time wringing their hands over, no wonder nothing gets accomplished in Washington.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12946" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/itll-take-more-than-a-fifth-gr.html">It'll take more than a "Fifth Grader" to solve this</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 9, 2007 5:16 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/itll-take-more-than-a-fifth-gr.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/itll-take-more-than-a-fifth-gr.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>One of the more perplexing mysteries these days – aside from how I’m going to stop my new dog from barking insanely every time I leave the house – is Fox’s new low-level stimulant “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?”, whose wild success seems to answer the query with a decisive “no.” </p> <p>Obviously, the show has benefited from having “American Idol” as its lead-in, a luxury it won’t enjoy next week. But nearly 21 million watched in rapt terror last night; admittedly, this is pointedly down from the 26.5 million that watched the debut episode last week, but, well, it’s still clearly far too many. One can only hypothesize that remotes and Clappers across America are on the fritz. </p> <p>What makes this doubly bizarre is that the only other show to do as well airing out of “American Idol” is “House.” “House” can scarcely be any smarter for a broadcast network series, while “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” couldn’t be any dumber. Shows falling somewhere in between – “24,” sundry Fox sitcoms and, just this past Wednesday, “The Wedding Bells” – have either done just OK or collapsed with a resounding splat. </p> <p>Now, the people watching “House” can’t possibly be the people watching “Fifth Grader,” so what is it that accounts for the fact that these two shows have succeeded where others haven’t? Feel free to add your own conjecture in the comments area, but you’ll have to be more lucid than this theory: Americans enjoy seeing the integrity of fifth-graders besmirched. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12864" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-fox-noise-kerfuffle.html">The Fox Noise Kerfuffle </a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 8, 2007 3:50 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-fox-noise-kerfuffle.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-fox-noise-kerfuffle.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/07/AR2007030702137.html" target="new">John Edwards has announced he won’t participate in a Nevada debate amongst Democratic Presidential candidates because one of its sponsors is the Fox News Channel.</a></p> <p>MoveOn.org asked the Nevada Democratic Party to drop Fox as a sponsor; "We wanted to send a clear message to voters, the media and the presidential candidates that Fox is part of the right-wing smear machine, not a legitimate source of news," MoveOn’s Adam Green said. </p> <p>Well, sure, but this protests that in exactly the wrong way. Progressive organizations should champion the First Amendment, not be selective about who should get heard. Fox News looks like the victim here; its executives can argue, “Look, here we actually try to get the Democrats’ message out and this is the thanks we get.” </p> <p>And while Fox ain’t ever gonna try to lead the way in being a conciliatory voice in these divisive times, Democrats would look better were they to at least try and make nice with the demagogues. After all, it’s not like Fox will be secretly hiding automatic weapons in their cameras so they can mow down the entire Democratic elite in one fell swoop, will they?</p> <p>Well – will they? </p> <p>What’s next: Republicans refusing to debate on or talk to any network <i>but</i></a> Fox? Oh, wait; Cheney’s already doing that. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12790" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/cap-we-hardly-knew-ye-1.html">Cap,’ We Hardly Knew Ye</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 7, 2007 6:48 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/cap-we-hardly-knew-ye-1.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/cap-we-hardly-knew-ye-1.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Comic-book icon <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/08/books/08capt.html?hp" target="new">Captain America is dead, the victim of a sniper’s bullets.</a></p> <p>Captain America was sort of Marvel’s answer to Superman, a stolid, vaguely prosaic, somewhat personality-impaired hero, particularly when compared to the more colorful superheroes found between the pages of comics. So, like a “Star Trek” redshirt, he was expendable. </p> <p>But his death is also earning the comic book more attention than it’s had in years, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/story/503132p-424376c.html" target="new">and even some Zeitgeisty speculation as to the timing.</a> Cap was created in 1941, as The Greatest Generation was gearing up to battle Hitler; <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://wonkette.com/politics/captain-america/comic-book-version-of-america-dies-too-242373.php" target="new">killing him off when America’s mired in Iraq, the White House is drowning in scandal and many are decrying the erosion of civil liberties seems a particularly symbolic gesture.</a> </p> <p>Then again, Superman got smote back in 1994 and he seems no worse for wear today. Funny-book Captain America will likely return, but maybe not before the funny-book America he was dedicated to protecting does. And it's come to this: We have to look to comic books for what passes these days as trenchant political analysis.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12786" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/heroes-battles-epilepsy.html">“Heroes” battles epilepsy</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 7, 2007 5:26 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/heroes-battles-epilepsy.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/heroes-battles-epilepsy.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Greg Grunberg, who plays ex-L.A. cop Parkman on “Heroes,” has a son with epilepsy and does charity work for the Epilepsy Foundation. And to that end, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.nbc.com/Heroes/" target="new">nbc.com is hosting an upcoming auction of the art seen on “Heroes”</a> with proceeds going to the Epilepsy Foundation.</p> <p>The art going up for auction, created by comic-book illustrator Tim Sale, include "Exploding Man," "Eclipse," "Claire on the Stairs" and "Hiro and T-Rex." Bidding will begin March 26 at 6 p.m. Pacific Coast Time and will close at midnight on March 28 (meaning folks on the West Coast have a better shot at winning, unless East-Coasters want to stay up until 3 a.m. to protect their bids). A second auction will begin on April 2. The Epilepsy Foundation will soon begin receiving a lot of donations inside envelopes sporting “Lord of the Rings” return-address stickers. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12767" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-great-if-inadvertent-cavem.html">The Great (if Inadvertent) “Cavemen” Hoax!</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 7, 2007 2:27 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-great-if-inadvertent-cavem.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-great-if-inadvertent-cavem.html#comments">Comments (2)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Apparently, some visitors to this site are under the impression that Your Mayor is a solemn fount of indispensable wisdom and information and not, like 98% of the rest of the Internets, pure drivel. And while that is flattering, it is simply not true.</p> <p>A couple of items back, I wrote that ABC’s prospective “Cavemen” series, based on the auto-insurance ads, was going to be a dramatic program, not a sitcom, the joke being that for every dubious idea for a TV show, there’s always one that’s even worse. </p> <p>This quote: </p> <p>“The prejudice the cavemen experience in their everyday lives is a metaphor for racism, and I don’t see how anyone could find racism remotely funny,” Lawson told me. “Well, except when it’s supposed to be, like on ‘Chapelle’s Show’ or a Michael Richards stand-up routine. No, ‘Cavemen’ will be a powerful drama about social misunderstandings and ignorance, and about how these brave and enduring men struggle to find their way and strive to correct the misperceptions about their kind. It will force viewers to examine the ugly preconceptions that lie within their own hearts and serve as an uplifting saga of men who overcome irrational hatred to inspire a nation.”</p> <p>– filled with some fuzzy thinking (defending Michael Richards?) and pretentious gobbledygook, I thought, would give away the game. And, if not, then the dreadful scene at the end of the entry should’ve convinced everyone that the notion was nonsense.</p> <p>But one forgets that there is <i>so much</i></a> on Television that is execrable that even a really awful idea sounds plausible if considered from the point of view of an addled network executive. And so, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/exclusive_cavemens_powerful_dr.html#comments" target="new">those commenting on the entry took it at face value or thought that the show’s creator was having a laugh at my expense.</a></p> <p>And then, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.tvtattle.com/" target="new">a website rounding up news stories on all things TV linked to it, taking it at straight-faced value.</a> And <i>another</i></a> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://the2scoops.blogspot.com/" target="new">site picked it up off of that</a> (though to be fair, that blogger, while scratching his head, did allow, “This <i>must</i></a> be an early April Fool’s joke”). </p> <p>Before it goes any further, full disclosure: I did <i>not</i></a> talk to Joe Lawson, who created the commercials and is behind the show, just as I did not speak to Bahamian Governor-General Arthur Hanna <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the_bahamian_ministry_of_cultu.html" target="new">for an entry about a new museum dedicated to the life of Anna Nicole Smith,</a> and just as I was not <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/2006/09/the_looming_belushi.html" target="new">actually interviewed by Chris Wallace over my role in allowing reality-TV to attack our airwaves.</a></p> <p>By the way, stay tuned as in future entries I will prove the existence of the Loch Ness Monster, rip the lid off Sumner Redstone’s cannibalism habits and demonstrate that the Scooter Libby trial was a conspiracy attempting to turn our country’s attentions away from Britney Spears’ latest travails. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12741" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/la-bell-epoque-1.html">La "Bell" Epoque </a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 7, 2007 1:07 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/la-bell-epoque-1.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/la-bell-epoque-1.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>No better way to commemorate <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.dailynews.com/entertainment/ci_5368194" target="new">today’s story about Fox’s new show “The Wedding Bells”</a> than with a story about a wedding Your Mayor attended underscoring the show’s premise that the best weddings are hilarious disasters.</p> <p>And, this time, I promise, this story is absolutely true – no compression of events or characters – as opposed to <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/exclusive_cavemens_powerful_dr.html" target="new">a recent entry that was utterly fabricated but taken seriously.</a></p> <p>En route to a friend’s wedding, I had to change a flat tire on my car – but I still got there before the bride, who was delayed, no doubt interminably to the groom’s mind. (I don’t remember the particulars of her excuse, but it had something to do with a wardrobe malfunction long before Justin Timberlake introduced the phrase into everyday speech.)</p> <p>But that wasn’t even really part of the bigger story arc. No, that belonged to the groom’s elderly uncle, who, upon entering the cozy chapel in which the ceremony was to take place, leaned into a wooden pew and let rip with a massive f@rt that resonated throughout the area that left my friends and me in paroxysms of stifled laughter that endured throughout the entirety of the service. Any moment where our laughs might have finally subsided, someone began chortling anew, leaving the rest of us helplessly striving to conceal our amusement. To this day, I remember nothing of the service save those poorly muted guffaws.</p> <p>But said uncle’s antics scarcely ended at the ceremony. When the wedding party arrived at the reception site, he promptly walked up to his own image at a mirrored wall and asked it where the men’s room was. He also approached a friend’s girlfriend and molested her breasts and, for his <i>coup de grace,</i></a> ventured onto the dance floor with a young relative. Mind you, this was a huge, barrel-chested fellow outfitted in a rental tuxedo. So, when his tux pants collapsed around his ankles, revealing spindly legs that no one would’ve guessed could’ve supported his massive frame, all were blissfully bemused. And, when he didn’t notice and kept dancing, all were ecstatic, stunned, wishing cell-phone cameras had been invented at that point. </p> <p>Based on this experience – and virtually <i>everyone</i></a> has attended a wedding this crazy, if not crazier – it would be hard to call any plotline this show could cook up far-fetched. </p> <p>Another episode was made available too late to include in <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.dailynews.com/entertainment/ci_5368201" target="new">the review of the show,</a> the latecomer entitled “Wedding from Hell.” I fear they’ve used that title far too early in the series’ existence.</p> <p>In it, a father and a minister don’t want to participate in a marriage because the groom seems transparently gay. Meanwhile, Jane’s (Teri Polo) marriage appears to be on the rocks, while Ernesto, the chef who’s been hitting on her, tells her she must have an affair, with someone, anyone. </p> <p>Meanwhile, Sammy (Sarah Jones) demonstrates her prowess with a pellet gun on a man’s private parts, and Annie (KaDee Strickland) continues her simmering feud/passive-aggressive flirtation with the wedding photographer David. Ultimately, however, the result is far too sweet to even venture into the neighborhood that might be mistaken "from Hell."</p> <p>Weddings are traditionally such unwieldy, emotional events that a show such as this should conceivably be able to mine – hilariously and movingly – stories for many years to come. But Fox has consigned it to the relatively low-rated ghetto of Friday nights; so: Will audiences agree?</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12689" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/sick-in-the-brain.html">Sick in the brain</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 6, 2007 1:55 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/sick-in-the-brain.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/sick-in-the-brain.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Tonight: “House” is dying of brain cancer! </p> <p>Yeah, it’s one of those episodes that’s an obvious cheat from the very outset because of <i>course</i></a> they’re not going to kill him off anytime soon. </p> <p>But, also tonight: “House” gets it on!</p> <p>Though, naturally, <i>not</i></a> with the bulimic that he diagnoses then tells, “Too bad – you look good that thin.” </p> <p>And, also: Just sort of. </p> <p>With all that going on, musician Dave Matthews gets shunted to the B story, playing a classical pianist with neurological disorders as the result of an accident in his youth that transformed him into a prodigy. He breaks down during a performance and of course it’s the usual Chinese restaurant menu of symptoms and organ failures. </p> <p>It’s also one of the occasional episodes seeking to vaguely humanize House, but still boasts the usual crisp, sardonic dialogue. Lisa Edelstein wins line of the night honors when Cuddy tells House, “Call the Make a Wish Foundation.” (And yes, you need to hear it in context.) </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12656" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/exclusive-cavemens-powerful-dr.html">Exclusive! “Cavemen’s” powerful drama</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 6, 2007 12:52 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/exclusive-cavemens-powerful-dr.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/exclusive-cavemens-powerful-dr.html#comments">Comments (3)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>Much has been made of the cynical creative bankruptcy behind <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB117305670677226518-GDYgRU6JmWO40cfjfFMEDLLE_DM_20070311.html?mod=blogs" target="new">ABC ordering a pilot entitled “Cavemen,” based on a series of auto-insurance commercials.</a> But reports have gotten some particulars egregiously wrong. </p> <p>News stories have suggested that the prospective series – about Atlanta-based cavemen who must cope with the indignities of a world prejudiced against their kind – will be a sitcom. In an interview, Joe Lawson, the man who created the series of spots, set the record straight.</p> <p>“The prejudice the cavemen experience in their everyday lives is a metaphor for racism, and I don’t see how anyone could find racism remotely funny,” Lawson told me. “Well, except when it’s supposed to be, like on ‘Chapelle’s Show’ or a Michael Richards stand-up routine. No, ‘Cavemen’ will be a powerful drama about social misunderstandings and ignorance, and about how these brave and enduring men struggle to find their way and strive to correct the misperceptions about their kind. It will force viewers to examine the ugly preconceptions that lie within their own hearts and serve as an uplifting saga of men who overcome irrational hatred to inspire a nation.”</p> <p>In its article, The Wall Street Journal noted that NBC had passed on the concept, but Lawson notes, “They loved the idea, but felt they already had a similar series in ‘The Black Donnellys.’”</p> <p>To prove his point, Lawson shared with me a fragment of his script: </p> <p>INT: EMERGENCY ROOM. The usual rampant chaos, as doctors and nurses race about, caring for critical cases. UGG, a handsome caveman of about 30 with a pronounced forehead and flattened nose, rushes in, running up to his friends SPARRG (late 30s, with a noticeable comb-over and a soul patch) and STROM (older, yet not wiser).</p> <p>UGG: Sparrg, Strom, I came as soon as I got your message. How’s Tantric? What happened?</p> <p>SPARRG: Another friggin’ hate crime, Ugg. Buncha homo sapiens jumped Tantric while he was walking through Peachtree. He inadvertently let out a grunt and called attention to himself.</p> <p>STROM (outraged): They used his <i>own club</i></a> against him.</p> <p>UGG (with great moral indignation): The monsters. When, oh when, will Americans of all backgrounds learn to live peaceably with one another? </p> <p>A DOCTOR approaches them.</p> <p>DOCTOR: Are you with Tantric? </p> <p>UGG: Yes, doctor – how is he? </p> <p>DOCTOR: He’s still in surgery. I won’t sugar-coat this for you – it’s touch and go at this point. But he has a strong will, and he’s battling for his life.</p> <p>A NURSE passes them and, noticing the CAVEMEN, sneers.</p> <p>NURSE (<i>voce sotto</i></a>): Stinkin’ Cro-Magnons.</p> <p>SPARRG overhears this, and reacts.</p> <p>SPARRG: Excuse me? </p> <p>The NURSE eyes him warily.</p> <p>SPARRG: Please – if you have something to say, share it with all of us. </p> <p>NURSE (considering, then, defiantly): Cro-Magnons.</p> <p>STROM (reacting angrily): Homo sapiens! </p> <p>UGG (intervening): No, Strom – we must be better than they are. (Beat.) And anyway, I’m a Neanderthal. </p> <p>Other patients note the confrontation, and begin to circle the CAVEMEN, muttering vile (e.g., “Omigod! They’re <i>different</i></a> from us!”), threatening epithets (e.g., “That means we <i>must</i></a> kill them!”). The CAVEMEN are terrified. </p> <p>UGG: I’ve got a bad feeling about this.</p> <p>*</p> <p>Powerful, sobering stuff; food for thought for us all. And coming – if luck is with an ever-troubled world – to your ABC affiliate in September.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12651" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/with-heroes-like-these-who-nee-1.html">With "Heroes" like these, who needs villains?</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 5, 2007 10:21 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/with-heroes-like-these-who-nee-1.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/with-heroes-like-these-who-nee-1.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>“Heroes” provided a textbook example of a cliffhanger tonight (we won’t see another new episode until April 23). Suffice it to say, <i>everyone’s</i></a> in deep, deep trouble, or, at least, not exactly where they’d like to be despite their best intentions. </p> <p>Only two questions this week: Wouldn’t Peter (Milo Ventimiglia) have found time, <i>somewhere</i></a> along the line, to have cleaned Simone’s blood off his face? And wouldn’t H.R.G. (Jack Coleman), having seen his new partner’s shape-shifting powers, been a little more circumspect when re-uniting with his wife? (That plot twist was obvious from a mile away.)</p> <p>Other thoughts: </p> <p>* They need to contrive more ways to get Nathan (Adrian Pasdar) and Hiro (Masi Oka) to work together. Those guys are great fun together, if only for a few seconds.</p> <p>* Creator Tim Kring and company have really been artful in mixing it up as to whether the characters are trustworthy or not and in shifting their allegiances. I’m bewildered, yet not confused. </p> <p>* NBC’s getting particularly clever with its in-episode promo obfuscations, with a particularly clever cheat, suggesting that Simone (Tawny Cypress) was not dead. </p> <p>* Mohinder (Sendhil Ramamurthy) really should have been a little smarter than that. </p> <p>* Malcolm McDowell is Lindermann? Clearly, NBC’s given this show a much bigger budget than from which it started.</p> <p>* Touting more “Spider-man 3” footage in HD at NBC.com? Really – how many people have computers with HD? </p> <p>* There were a <i>lot</i></a> fewer “Black Donnellys” promos during the episode, not surprising given its disappointing debut last week. </p> <p>* Nice of NBC to invite fans to share their sundry conspiracy theories about the show at <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.nbc.com/Video/rewind/full_episodes/heroes.shtml" target="new">the network’s website,</a> allowing the writers to cherry-pick potentially more inventive plot twists than even they (who have managed quite capably to this point) might’ve imagined. </p> <p>* And, <i>finally:</i></a> Someone bothered to do something about Peter's hair always covering his face.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12578" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/tori-spelling-kato-kaelin-drag.html">Tori Spelling, Kato Kaelin, drag queens, lollipops</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 4, 2007 3:49 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/tori-spelling-kato-kaelin-drag.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/tori-spelling-kato-kaelin-drag.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>It was an evening of glamour and spectacle and A-list celebrities and vintage wines and drag queens when Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott unveiled their Bed & Breakfast to the world Saturday in Temecula. </p> <p>Wait, check that: Well, it was an evening of drag queens, at least. </p> <p>Spelling and McDemott have purchased and renovated a B&B; in the Temecula wine country for a nation’s hearty bemusement – it’s all for an upcoming Oxygen channel reality show, “Tori & Dean: Inn Love,” debuting March 20. And so, on Saturday, the couple threw the B&B; equivalent of a movie premiere, where everybody who was anybody – well, anybody who was willing to endure a two-hour-plus drive through such alluring hot spots as Chino and Hemet and Walnut and Pomona, that is – was there. </p> <p>Your Mayor and his companion – who, in honor of a request for anonymity, may or may not have been but probably wasn’t named Beyonce – made several grave miscalculations on our way to the swanky event. One, we took the invitation’s suggestion that the drive from L.A. to the B&B; would take 90 minutes at its word; two, we were egregiously leisurely in our preparations, not allowing ourselves anywhere near the suggested 90 minutes before the event was to begin before embarking for the great rolling hills of Temecula; and three, we actually had the temerity to begin our trek from the heart of Los Angeles, which allowed for a fun-filled hour of sitting in the gridlock that is Saturday-afternoon L.A. traffic before hitting the open – or, as the case turned out to be, not-so-open – road. </p> <p>Long story short, we arrived about a half an hour before the event was scheduled to conclude. </p> <p>By the time we did arrive, all of the available red wine had been consumed; a variety of white wines from a local vineyard were still available. About which, let’s just say that there was no doubt a most compelling reason that “Sideways” was not set in Temecula wine country, for the screenwriters would’ve had to kill themselves coming up with variations on Miles’ line: “It tastes like the back of a f@%&ing; L.A. school bus. Now they probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine bullsh!t. F@%&in;' Raid.”</p> <p>To take one’s mind off the lack of red wine – or, perhaps to spur people to gulp down the white regardless of its flavor – in a nearby tent, female impersonators lip-synced the songs of their doppelgangers, Madonna, Tina Turner and Cher. (Although Cher herself looks like a Cher female impersonator.) Which for a moment made me wonder if “Tori & Dean: Inn Love” was a reality show on Bravo, not Oxygen. </p> <p>Tours were being offered of the B&B;, some by Spelling (who looks ready to give birth at any second) and McDermott themselves. And, in keeping with Spelling’s professed goal “to reinvent the B&B;, kind of do a modern take on it, and kind of reinvent it for our generation,” their place must be the first B&B; with a velvet rope policy. </p> <p>Security people weren’t allowing people to storm willy-nilly into the edifice, citing fire-marshal regulations, an argument that might’ve held water had not <i>every other Hollywood event in history</i></a> boasted a more sardine-like atmosphere. (To be fair, they probably didn’t want people who didn’t score a gift bag making off with the porcelain horse head in the foyer.) McDermott reminded the door security to bar all cameras and cell-phone cameras, lest anyone not attending the event see the décor before they book their reservations. </p> <p>My companion – who, in honor of a request for anonymity, may or may not have been but was quite likely not named Corinne Bailey Rae – and I were trying to suss out the caste system at work, and were assured that most of the people being allowed into the home without waiting in line were associated with the show, and that celebrities weren’t necessarily being automatically granted access into the inn. “Perez Hilton wasn’t allowed in,” we were told. </p> <p>“Well, sure – they don’t want to have to tent the place,” I replied.</p> <p>And, as if to prove the point, Kato Kaelin was refused entry and told to wait in line with the rest of us plebes. </p> <p>Ah, Kato Kaelin. His 15 minutes are long since past, but no one seems to have given him the memo. He was endlessly performing for cameras – the show’s cameras, infotainment reporters’ cameras, heck, had someone pulled out a cell phone camera he no doubt would’ve done some shtick for it, as well. And, as luck – or the utter lack of same – would have it, he was in our group for the tour of the B&B.; </p> <p>In one room, a model in a T-shirt, shorts and tube socks lolled on the bed, reading a magazine, creating an approximation of how homey the room was were you a model with tube socks and a magazine; Kato made out with a lot of “Hey, does she come with the room?” and “I’m comin’ to join you, sweetheart” kind of stuff, which no doubt amused his date. At another room, he disconnected the velvet rope and, for the cameras, wackily pretended that it was a snake on the loose. He did <i>a lot</i></a> of other stuff, as well, all of it loud and boisterous and faux-ingratiating and authentically grating, but fortunately, I’ve been able to expunge most of it from my memory.</p> <p>The interior design strayed a good country mile from the rustic aura sought by most B&Bs;: My companion – who, in honor of a request for anonymity, may or may not have been but most assuredly was unlikely named Eartha Kitt – an architect, declared it C-level <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.kwid.com/" target="new">Kelly Wearstler</a> and noted how it provided a jarring counterpoint to the otherwise bucolic surroundings. Our tour guide wasn’t Spelling or McDermott, but a young woman brimming with knowledge. When asked who the designer was, she said she didn’t know. When asked what room rates would be when the inn opens for business officially next weekend, she said she didn’t know. (Before its extreme makeover, rooms went for between $165 and $395 a night, already putting it decisively on the high end of the scale for that area. This is the sort of assiduous crack research upon which you can rely from Your Mayor.)</p> <p>What she <i>did</i></a> know was that patrons expecting Tori and Dean to serve them smoked-apple bacon and eggs and chorizo and gourmet pear-Hawaiian French toast in the morning will likely be sorely disappointed. “They’re going to stay based in L.A.,” she said, niftily torpedoing the reality show’s conceit in a single sentence.</p> <p>By the time of our arrival, food wasn’t not only not being served by Tori and Dean, but had ceased being served in general; all that was available for the peckish were the comestibles on a lollipop tree. How lollipops fit into the grand theme of an evening defined by drag queens, local wine, amoretto liqueur, middling modern design accented by classic touches and Kato Kaelin remained a mystery, until my companion – who, in honor of a request for anonymity, may or may not have been but was clearly not named Agnes Moorehead – noted, “They’re sweet and colorful and simple and cheap and round. Just like Tori.”</p> <p>Hey, <i>she</i></a> said it. Not me.</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12521" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/wire-wired.html">“Wire” wired</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 3, 2007 12:06 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/wire-wired.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/wire-wired.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>This clip proves that not just lousy shows can be bastardized by YouTube artists with too much time on their hands:</p> <p><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDIi0dzmvpE&NR" target="new">Herewith, HBO’s brilliant “The Wire” plays a whole lot differently when a laugh track is added.</a></p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12461" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/a-view-to-a-kill.html">A "View" to a Kill</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 2, 2007 4:07 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/a-view-to-a-kill.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/a-view-to-a-kill.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>This latest “View” feud – Rosie O’Donnell was too lazy to choose an outside target, so she just jumped all over colleague Elisabeth Hasselbeck – underscores how the show has become the anti-“Hannity-&-Colmes:” The liberal is the hectoring bully, while the conservative is tremulous and artless in articulating her positions. </p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12456" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-bahamian-ministry-of-cultu.html">The Bahamian Ministry of Culture Strikes Back</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 2, 2007 2:50 PM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-bahamian-ministry-of-cultu.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-bahamian-ministry-of-cultu.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>PST NASSAU, BAHAMAS (AP) - Bahamian officials today announced plans to erect a museum to the life and memory of Anna Nicole Smith, the model/gold-digger whose death helped ease Americans’ burden of following the faltering war in Iraq until Britney Spears’ chemically induced meltdown helped ease Americans’ burden of following the death of Smith.</p> <p>His Excellency, Governor-General Arthur Hanna, revealed that the new museum – which will be built across the causeway from her burial site – will include four wings, each offering an overview of a key period of Smith’s life. The first will be called “Roots: The Making of a Centerfold Model and Diet-Supplement Mouthpiece.” It will consist largely of a road map of her Texas hometown of Mexia and random teeth that have fallen out of the heads of her sundry relatives over the years. </p> <p>The second, “Centerfold,” will be the largest wing in the museum, featuring floor-to-ceiling reproductions of the sundry nude photos Smith has posed for. The third wing’s theme will be “Addicted to Love – or Drugs, or Something,” and cover her marriage to octogenarian billionaire J. Howard Marshall, her subsequent legal battles, her sundry humiliations at the hands of the E! cable network and her ascendance in the tabloid universe as her life spiraled out of control in the past year. This wing will consist largely of video monitors showing scenes from “The Anna Nicole Show,” a Power Point presentation explaining how many trees were cut down in order to print just stories about Smith in the gossip rags and sundry teeth that fell from Marshall’s mouth during the tenure of their marriage.</p> <p>The final wing, “Media Sensation,” will be the second-largest wing of the museum and will focus on the post-death media circus courtesy the cable-news networks. In addition to endless tape loops of the endless repetition of the same old scraps of red-carpet videotape that were run accompanying every spurious news item, this wing will feature Judge Larry Seidlin in person recalling his best lines during the trial over custody of her corpse and wax effigies of <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBIWvmZZqxc" target="new">Wolf Blitzer</a> as well as the news editors of the cable news networks who authorized the seemingly ubiquitous coverage. Governor-General Hanna said that his government is in talks with the cable networks to, upon their deaths, secure the brains of the aforementioned men so that they can be displayed in the future in vats filled with formaldehyde. </p> <p>A gift shop will offer a generous selection of T-shirts, calendars, painted seashells, shot glasses and methadone. </p> <p>“This will be done in as tasteful a manner as is befitting its subject,” Governor-General Hanna declared.</p> <p>The Bahamian government today also decreed that within its territories the ABC Television Network was herewith forbidden to refer to its sitcoms as “comedies.”</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12360" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-goodies-vs-python-are-you-1.html">“The Goodies” vs. “Python:” Are you kidding?</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 1, 2007 2:03 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-goodies-vs-python-are-you-1.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/the-goodies-vs-python-are-you-1.html#comments">Comments (1)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>England’s Guardian newspaper today <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://arts.guardian.co.uk/theatre/comedy/story/0,,2023818,00.html" target="new">publishes an interview with the British comic troupe that should’ve been happy with being named in the same sentences as “Monty Python’s Flying Circus.”</a> But, apparently, “The Goodies” have bigger fish to fry.</p> <p>The headline, “We’re Not Remotely Bitter,” suggests just how bitter those guys really are. They’ve embarked upon a reunion tour to argue how progressive they really were. </p> <p>"There's some Python stuff that any of us would have felt comfortable doing," former Goodie Bill Oddie says. "And some of the Python people would have felt comfortable doing Goodies stuff."</p> <p>Well, maybe, but the Pythons – who are now worldwide comic icons – <i>didn’t</i></a> do your material and became worldwide icons, while the Goodies <i>didn’t</i></a> manage to come up with anything so clever as the Pythons, and now you’re desperately striving for legitimacy. Hmm …. Whom should we take seriously?</p> <p>Not that this should be taken for comic gospel, but when I was a kid, “Python” kept me in stitches, while “The Goodies” – foisted upon me at an impressionable age, when ostensibly I should’ve been embracing all manner of British comedy with a certain level of discernment – felt to me – even as a youthful dupe, with purportedly diminished comic sensibilities – like utter “Benny Hill”-style crap. </p> <p>But that’s just me. Does <i>anybody</i></a> remember “The Goodies” favorably?</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div>  <div id="entry-12359" class="entry-asset asset"> <div class="asset-header"> <h2 class="asset-name"><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/a-nice-guy-say-it-aint-so.html">A nice guy? Say it ain't so</a></h2> <div class="asset-meta"> <span class="byline"> By <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://blogs.dailynews.com/tv/">David Kronke</a> on March 1, 2007 12:32 AM </span> <span class="separator">|</span> <a class="permalink" href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/a-nice-guy-say-it-aint-so.html">Permalink</a> | <a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/03/a-nice-guy-say-it-aint-so.html#comments">Comments (0)</a> </div> </div> <div class="asset-content"> <div class="asset-body"> <p>In a way, it’s almost disappointing to learn that Ed Helms is an exponentially nicer person than those he portrays on TV. On the other hand, it’s comforting to converse with someone you know isn’t going to try to cut you off at your knees. </p> <p>When speaking to him for <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.dailynews.com/tv/ci_5315922" target="new">a story about “The Daily Show’s” burgeoning influence on comedy beyond its own satire,</a> I asked him the differences between Andy, his character on “The Office,” and “Ed Helms,” the character he played on “The Daily Show.” </p> <p>He laughed. “I think that ‘The Daily Show’ guy is probably a lot better at keeping his cool, but both are idiotic. They both think they’re high status but don’t have confidence to pull it off. But Andy’s more fleshed out … and that’s the fun part for me.”</p> <p>Helms admitted that he didn’t always enjoy duping those he interviewed on “The Daily Show.” </p> <p>“That’s a level of fraud I’m just not comfortable with,” he said. “You either keep your distance or just be pretty genuine with them. When you interview them in their own universe, unusual things happen there.</p> <p>“At a certain point to me, it was not funny anymore. I wasn’t interested in taking to a level where I felt crappy about it. If something’s really funky on TV, even the subject involved can chuckle along with it. But if you’re messing with someone behind the scenes, if you’re presenting some sort of false front, that’s something you have to go home with. Most of us were pretty genuine and casual. </p> <p>“Most people wanted to have their story told. Either they were willing to put up with some of our antics or were the kind of people who didn’t need false pretenses – you just give them enough rope and they would hang themselves. We couldn’t lie about who we are. If we were to try to be disingenuous about what we were about, we would close more doors. The dynamic, I guess, was that to get three minutes of material, you’d interview them for three or four hours. With that much volume, you can usually find bits and pieces that you want. </p> <p>“It was sometimes awkward. Sometimes I really didn’t enjoy that aspect of it. The field segments were really hard work.”</p> <p>Since joining “The Office,” Helms says, “There’s definitely been a shift in perception of me as a performer and what I’m capable of, which I’m happy about. ‘The Daily Show’ does give you a snarky energy as opposed to ‘The Office,’ which is mostly silly and a little more light-hearted. It’s a nice shift in perception.” In other words, he admitted, it’s nice not being known as a douchebag. </p> <p>- “The Office:” 8:30 tonight on NBC (Channel 4).</p> </div> </div> <div class="asset-footer"></div> <div class="asset-ad"> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript"> adCounter=adCounter+1; if ((adCounter % 4) == 0) { document.write('<center><br>-- ADVERTISEMENT --<br>'); GetAd('tile','9','/blog_' + adTag,'','www.dailynews.com','','300','250'); } </script> </div> </div> <div class="content-nav"> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/2007/02/">« February 2007</a> | <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/">Main Index</a> | <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/archives.html">Archives</a> | <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/2007/04/">April 2007 »</a> </div> </div> </div> <div id="beta"> <div id="beta-inner"> <div class="widget-archives widget"> <h3 class="widget-header">About this blog</h3> <div class="widget-content"> <img alt="david-kronke.jpg" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840im_/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/david-kronke.jpg" width="50" height="65" align="right" hspace="2"/><strong>David Kronke</strong> was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. <p> </div> </div> <div class="widget-welcome widget"> <h3 class="widget-header"> About this Archive </h3> <div class="widget-content"> <p class="first">This page is an archive of entries from <strong>March 2007</strong> listed from newest to oldest.</p> <p><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/02/">February 2007</a> is the previous archive.</p> <p><a href="/web/20090214095840/http://insidesocal.com/tv/2007/04/">April 2007</a> is the next archive.</p> <p>Find recent content on the <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/">main index</a> or look in the <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20090214095840/http://www.insidesocal.com/tv/archives.html">archives</a> to find all content.</p> </div> </div> <div class="widget-recent-comments widget"> <h3 class="widget-header">Recent Comments</h3> <div class="widget-content"> <a 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