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Human DNA as C code - GNU Project - Free Software Foundation
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A bit messy -- * will require a rewrite later on to make it neater. * 0017-03-12 03:14 1.3 Added extra sex drive to male.h; took code from * elephant-dna.c * 0145-10-03 16:33 1.4 Removed tail. * 1115-00-31 17:20 1.5 Shortened forearms, expanded brain case. * 2091-08-20 13:56 1.6 Opposable thumbs added to hand() routine. * 2501-04-09 14:04 1.7 Minor cosmetic improvements -- skin colour made * darker to match my own image. * 2909-07-12 02:21 1.8 Dentition inadequate; added extra 'wisdom' teeth. * Must remember to make mouth bigger to compensate. * 4501-12-31 14:18 1.9 Increase average height. * 5533-02-12 17:09 2.0 Added gay option, triggered by high population * density, to try and slow the overpopulation problem. * 6004-11-04 16:11 2.1 Made forefinger narrower to fit hole in centre of * CD. */ </pre> <pre class="emph-box">/* Standard definitions */ #define SEX male #define HEIGHT 1.84 #define MASS 68 #define RACE caucasian </pre> <pre class="emph-box">/* Include inherited traits from parent DNA files. * * Files must be pre-processed with MENDEL program to provide proper * inheritance features. */ #include "mother.h" #include "father.h" #ifndef FATHER #warn("Father unknown -- guessing\n") #include "bastard.h" #endif </pre> <pre class="emph-box">/* Set up sex-specific functions and variables */ #include <sex.h> /* Kludged code -- I'll re-design this lot and re-write it as a proper * library sometime soon. */ struct genitals { #ifdef MALE Penis *jt; #endif /* G_spot *g; Removed for debugging purposes */ #ifdef FEMALE Vagina *p; #endif } </pre> <pre class="emph-box">/* Initialization bootstrap routine -- called before DNA duplication. * Allocates buffers and sets up protein file pointers */ DNA *zygote_initialize(Sperm *, Ovum *); </pre> <pre class="emph-box">/* MAIN INITIALIZATION CODE * * Returns structures containing pre-processed phenotypes for the organism * to display at birth. * * Will be improved later to make output less ugly. */ Characteristic *lookup_phenotype(Identifier *i); </pre> <p>…and so on.</p> <p>[ Note that God uses three-space tabs ]</p> <p style="margin-top: 2em"></p> <p class="button right-align"><a href="/fun/jokes/dna.txt">Original email</a></p> <div class="infobox" role="contentinfo"> <hr /> <p>Source: <a href="https://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/91q3/genome.html"> rec.humor.funny</a> (1991).</p> <p><<a href="mailto:meta@pobox.com">Mathew Murphy</a>> kindly released this joke under GPL. Thanks Mathew!</p> </div> </div> </div><!-- for id="content", starts in the include above --> <!-- begin server/footer-text.html --> <div style="clear:both"></div> <div id="language-container"> <div class="backtotop"> <hr class="no-display" /> <a href="#top"><b>▲</b></a> </div> <div id="languages" class="rounded-corners"> <div class="button"> <a href="#top" class="close"><span>BACK TO TOP</span></a> </div> <div id="set-language" class="button"> <span class="gnun-split"></span> <a href="/server/select-language.html?callback=/fun/jokes/dna.html" rel="nofollow"> Set language <span class="gnun-split"></span> </a> </div> <p>Available for this page:</p> <div id="translations"> <p> <span dir="ltr" class="original">[en] <a lang="en" hreflang="en" href="/fun/jokes/dna.en.html">English</a> </span> <span dir="ltr">[fr] <a lang="fr" hreflang="fr" href="/fun/jokes/dna.fr.html">fran莽ais</a> </span> </p> </div> </div> </div> <div id="mission-statement" role="complementary"> <div class="backtotop"> <hr class="no-display" /> <a href="#header"><span>BACK TO TOP </span>▲</a> </div> <div style="clear: both"></div> <blockquote> <p style="direction:ltr; text-align:left"><a href="//www.fsf.org"><img id="fsfbanner" src="/graphics/fsf-logo-notext-small.png" alt=" [FSF logo] " width="75" height="25" /></a><strong> “The Free Software Foundation (FSF) is a nonprofit with a worldwide mission to promote computer user freedom. We defend the rights of all software users.”</strong></p> </blockquote> <div id="support-the-fsf" class="button"> <a class="join" href="//www.fsf.org/associate/support_freedom?referrer=4052">JOIN</a> <a class="donate" href="//donate.fsf.org/">DONATE</a> <a class="shop" href="//shop.fsf.org/">SHOP</a> </div> </div> <!-- end server/footer-text.html --> <div id="footer" role="contentinfo"> <div class="unprintable"> <p>Please send general FSF & GNU inquiries to <a href="mailto:gnu@gnu.org"><gnu@gnu.org></a>. There are also <a href="/contact/">other ways to contact</a> the FSF. Broken links and other corrections or suggestions can be sent to <a href="mailto:webmasters@gnu.org"><webmasters@gnu.org></a>.</p> <p><!-- TRANSLATORS: Ignore the original text in this paragraph, replace it with the translation of these two: We work hard and do our best to provide accurate, good quality translations. However, we are not exempt from imperfection. Please send your comments and general suggestions in this regard to <a href="mailto:web-translators@gnu.org"> <web-translators@gnu.org></a>.</p> <p>For information on coordinating and contributing translations of our web pages, see <a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations README</a>. --> Please see the <a href="/server/standards/README.translations.html">Translations README</a> for information on coordinating and contributing translations of this article.</p> </div> <p>Copyright © 1991 Mathew Murphy</p> <p>“Human DNA deciphered into C code!” is licensed under the <a rel="license" href="/licenses/gpl.html">GNU General Public License</a>, version 2 or later.</p> <!-- start of server/bottom-notes.html --> <div id="bottom-notes" class="unprintable"> <p><a href="//www.fsf.org/about/dmca-notice">Copyright Infringement Notification</a></p> <div id="generic"> </div> </div> <!-- end of server/bottom-notes.html --> <p class="unprintable">Updated: <!-- timestamp start --> $Date: 2021/07/14 16:05:29 $ <!-- timestamp end --> </p> </div> </div><!-- for class="inner", starts in the banner include --> </body> </html>