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Mntl.AdMetrics.init("8612512", "ncc97e554afda472b80936e7760cdca8e00", initialSlots.map(slot => slot.config.id), Date.now()); } else { Mntl.AdMetrics = { pushMetrics: () => {} }; } Mntl.GPT.setMantleDependencies(mantleDependencies); Mntl.GPT.init(options); }());window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; // moved from gtm.ftl so we can initialize GTM only onLoad. 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id="wellness-bylines_1-0" class="comp wellness-bylines mntl-bylines"><div id="mntl-bylines__group_1-0" class="comp mntl-bylines__group mntl-block mntl-bylines__group--author "><div id="mntl-bylines__item_1-0" class="comp mntl-bylines__item mntl-attribution__item mntl-attribution__item--has-date"> <span class="mntl-attribution__item-descriptor">By</span> <div data-tooltip="<p>Julia Childs Heyl is a clinical social worker who focuses on mental health disparities, the healing of generational trauma, and depth psychotherapy.</p>" tabindex="0" data-inline-tooltip="true"> <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/julia-childs-heyl-5215228" rel="nocaes" data-trigger-link="true" class="mntl-attribution__item-name" tabindex="-1" >Julia Childs Heyl, MSW</a> <div id="mntl-author-tooltip_1-0" class="comp mntl-author-tooltip mntl-tooltip mntl-group"> <div class="mntl-author-tooltip__top "> <div class="mntl-author-tooltip__image-wrapper"> <div class="img-placeholder" style="padding-bottom:100.0%;"> <img 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https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/j7ty3reCiHNJmxA307HK_SyFQzc=/58x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Julia_1-da0a97581ec3430eb5dfd8e7c792d846-4c2d85c8494b47bc90946a0de28c0484.jpg 58w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/VQGhkZBBl75zojXan6dne-2vK_U=/76x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Julia_1-da0a97581ec3430eb5dfd8e7c792d846-4c2d85c8494b47bc90946a0de28c0484.jpg 76w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/dPjZhirW7hd55Pj51iQw7-WKBY8=/94x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Julia_1-da0a97581ec3430eb5dfd8e7c792d846-4c2d85c8494b47bc90946a0de28c0484.jpg 94w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/I841oR3gYV-yP5h_-SrdPsmLxdY=/112x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Julia_1-da0a97581ec3430eb5dfd8e7c792d846-4c2d85c8494b47bc90946a0de28c0484.jpg 112w" alt="Julia Childs Heyl headshot" width="200" height="200" class="img--noscript mntl-author-tooltip__image" /> </noscript> </div> </div> <div id="mntl-author-tooltip__name_1-0" class="comp mntl-author-tooltip__name mntl-attribution__item "> <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/julia-childs-heyl-5215228" rel="nocaes" class="mntl-attribution__item-name" tabindex="0" >Julia Childs Heyl, MSW</a> </div> <div class="mntl-author-tooltip__bio"> <p>Julia Childs Heyl is a clinical social worker who focuses on mental health disparities, the healing of generational trauma, and depth psychotherapy.</p> </div> </div> <div class="mntl-author-tooltip__bottom"> <span class="mntl-author-tooltip__learn-more-text">Learn about our </span> <a href="/our-editorial-process-4778006" rel="nocaes" class="mntl-author-tooltip__learn-more-link" >editorial process</a> </div> </div></div> </div> <div class="mntl-attribution__item-date">Updated on May 01, 2024</div></div> <div id="mntl-bylines__group_2-0" class="comp mntl-bylines__group mntl-block mntl-bylines__group--wellness_reviewer "><div id="mntl-bylines__item_2-0" class="comp mntl-bylines__item mntl-attribution__item "><svg class="icon 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Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. <a class="review-descriptor-tooltip__learn-more" href="/review-board-4796494">Learn more</a>." tabindex="0" data-inline-tooltip="true"> <span class="review-descriptor-override__descriptor mntl-attribution__item-name">Reviewed</span> <div id="review-type-tooltip_2-0" class="comp review-type-tooltip review-descriptor-tooltip mntl-tooltip mntl-group"><div id="tooltip_2-0" class="comp tooltip mntl-text-block">Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by mental health professionals. Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. <a class="review-descriptor-tooltip__learn-more" href="/review-board-4796494">Learn more</a>.</div></div></span> by </span> <div data-tooltip="<p>Divya Robin, LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist, wellness educator, content creator, and media contributor in New York City. As a licensed mental health counselor, she works with adults and adolescents facing various mental and emotional challenges.</p>" tabindex="0" data-inline-tooltip="true"> <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/divya-robin-7559522" rel="nocaes" data-trigger-link="true" class="mntl-attribution__item-name" tabindex="-1" >Divya Robin, LMHC</a> <div id="mntl-author-tooltip_2-0" class="comp mntl-author-tooltip mntl-tooltip mntl-group"> <div class="mntl-author-tooltip__top "> <div class="mntl-author-tooltip__image-wrapper"> <div class="img-placeholder" style="padding-bottom:120.0%;"> <img data-srcset="https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/trLHH-Mmflsa9YIR0ZfB2jaqjUk=/40x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png 40w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/mJyaaSRgSYPskhz8PNt9I3u00aQ=/58x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png 58w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/aYQYD504VCkHrwvYcdjUA9RLnVo=/76x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png 76w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/0AWUSIZLb_s_UbKi955HVDMBPiQ=/94x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png 94w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/bplzIX0HKAStTiSlxUjAH70c--k=/112x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png 112w" data-sizes="80px" data-src="https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/KSzjluuACPxaDeok9M75XIW-Z3Q=/200x200/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png" alt="Divya Robin" class="lazyload mntl-author-tooltip__image" width="200" height="200" /> <noscript> <img src="https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/KSzjluuACPxaDeok9M75XIW-Z3Q=/200x200/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png" srcset="https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/trLHH-Mmflsa9YIR0ZfB2jaqjUk=/40x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png 40w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/mJyaaSRgSYPskhz8PNt9I3u00aQ=/58x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png 58w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/aYQYD504VCkHrwvYcdjUA9RLnVo=/76x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png 76w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/0AWUSIZLb_s_UbKi955HVDMBPiQ=/94x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png 94w, https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/bplzIX0HKAStTiSlxUjAH70c--k=/112x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/DivyaHeadshot-197ed407eeaf409bbb489ef2b5fb6394.png 112w" alt="Divya Robin" width="200" height="200" class="img--noscript mntl-author-tooltip__image" /> </noscript> </div> </div> <div id="mntl-author-tooltip__name_2-0" class="comp mntl-author-tooltip__name mntl-attribution__item "><svg class="icon reviewer-icon mntl-attribution__item-icon" > <use xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" xlink:href="#reviewer-icon" href="#reviewer-icon"></use> </svg> <span class="mntl-attribution__item-descriptor">Reviewed by</span> <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/divya-robin-7559522" rel="nocaes" class="mntl-attribution__item-name" tabindex="0" >Divya Robin, LMHC</a> </div> <div class="mntl-author-tooltip__bio"> <p>Divya Robin, LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist, wellness educator, content creator, and media contributor in New York City. As a licensed mental health counselor, she works with adults and adolescents facing various mental and emotional challenges.</p> </div> </div> <div class="mntl-author-tooltip__bottom"> <span class="mntl-author-tooltip__learn-more-text">Learn about our </span> <a href="/review-board-4796494" rel="nocaes" class="mntl-author-tooltip__learn-more-link" >Review Board</a> </div> </div></div> </div></div> </div> <div id="social-share-container_1-0" class="comp social-share-container mntl-block"><form id="print-button_1-0" class="comp print-button" method="POST" action="/7-friends-theory-8612512?print" data-tracking-container="true" target="_blank"> <button class="btn"> Print <svg class="icon icon-print text-btn-icon" > <use xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" xlink:href="#icon-print" href="#icon-print"></use> </svg> </button> <input type="hidden" value="true" name="print" /> <input type="hidden" value="1cec265f4f71a9d9738dbf0e949d76dc" name="CSRFToken" /> </form></div></div></div> 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data-offset="60" data-tracking-container="true"><div id="mntl-toc__inner_1-0" class="comp mntl-toc__inner mntl-block"><div id="mntl-toc__heading_1-0" class="comp mntl-toc__heading mntl-block js-toc-toggle" data-click-tracked="true" data-desktop-bp="70em"><span id="mntl-toc__heading-text_1-0" class="comp mntl-toc__heading-text mntl-text-block">Table of Contents</span> <div id="mntl-toc-toggle_1-0" class="comp mntl-toc-toggle mntl-block"><div id="mntl-toc-toggle__btn_1-0" class="comp mntl-toc-toggle__btn mntl-text-block js-mntl-toc-toggle" data-click-tracked="true" data-desktop-bp="70em" data-collapsed-text="View All" data-expanded-text="View All">View All</div> <svg class="icon icon-circle-arrow icon-circle-arrow" > <use xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" xlink:href="#icon-circle-arrow" href="#icon-circle-arrow"></use> </svg></div> <svg class="icon icon-arrow " > <use xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" xlink:href="#icon-arrow" href="#icon-arrow"></use> </svg></div> <div id="mntl-toc__mobile-toggle_1-0" class="comp mntl-toc__mobile-toggle mntl-block js-sticky-toggle"><span id="mntl-toc__heading-text_2-0" class="comp mntl-toc__heading-text mntl-text-block">Table of Contents</span> <svg class="icon icon-arrow " > <use xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" xlink:href="#icon-arrow" href="#icon-arrow"></use> </svg></div> <ul id="mntl-toc__list_1-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list mntl-toc__list-heading expert-content"><li id="mntl-toc__list-item_1-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list-item mntl-block"><div id="mntl-toc__list-item-heading_1-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list-item-heading mntl-block"><a href="#toc-understanding-the-7-friends-theory" rel="nocaes" id="mntl-toc__list-item-link_1-0" class="mntl-toc__list-item-link mntl-text-link mntl-toc__list-item-link js-mntl-toc-link" data-tracking-container="true" ><span class="link__wrapper">What Is the 7 Friends Theory?</span></a></div></li> <li id="mntl-toc__list-item_2-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list-item mntl-block"><div id="mntl-toc__list-item-heading_2-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list-item-heading mntl-block"><a href="#toc-exploring-the-roles-of-the-7-friends" rel="nocaes" id="mntl-toc__list-item-link_2-0" class="mntl-toc__list-item-link mntl-text-link mntl-toc__list-item-link js-mntl-toc-link" data-tracking-container="true" ><span class="link__wrapper">Exploring the Roles of the 7 Friends</span></a></div></li> <li id="mntl-toc__list-item_3-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list-item mntl-block"><div id="mntl-toc__list-item-heading_3-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list-item-heading mntl-block"><a href="#toc-the-psychological-impact-of-friendships" rel="nocaes" id="mntl-toc__list-item-link_3-0" class="mntl-toc__list-item-link mntl-text-link mntl-toc__list-item-link js-mntl-toc-link" data-tracking-container="true" ><span class="link__wrapper">The Psychological Impact of Friendships</span></a></div></li> <li id="mntl-toc__list-item_4-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list-item mntl-block"><div id="mntl-toc__list-item-heading_4-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list-item-heading mntl-block"><a href="#toc-building-and-maintaining-friendships" rel="nocaes" id="mntl-toc__list-item-link_4-0" class="mntl-toc__list-item-link mntl-text-link mntl-toc__list-item-link js-mntl-toc-link" data-tracking-container="true" ><span class="link__wrapper">Building and Maintaining Friendships</span></a></div></li> <li id="mntl-toc__list-item_5-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list-item mntl-block"><div id="mntl-toc__list-item-heading_5-0" class="comp mntl-toc__list-item-heading mntl-block"><a href="#toc-staying-grounded-while-finding-your-seven-friends" rel="nocaes" id="mntl-toc__list-item-link_5-0" class="mntl-toc__list-item-link mntl-text-link mntl-toc__list-item-link js-mntl-toc-link" data-tracking-container="true" ><span class="link__wrapper">Staying Grounded While Finding Your Seven Friends</span></a></div></li></ul></div></div></div></div> </div><div class="loc article-content"><div id="article__broad-video-jw_1-0" class="comp article__broad-video-jw mntl-jwplayer-broad mntl-block is-hidden" data-pixel-depth="100"><div id="mntl-jwplayer-broad__video_1-0" class="comp mntl-jwplayer-broad__video mntl-jwplayer mm-video lazyload" data-bgset data-sizes="auto"></div> <div id="mntl-jwplayer-broad__title_1-0" class="comp mntl-jwplayer-broad__title mntl-block"><div id="mntl-jwplayer-broad__title--text_1-0" class="comp mntl-jwplayer-broad__title--text mntl-text-block type--mouse"></div> <button id="mntl-jwplayer-broad__title-icon--close_1-0" class="comp mntl-jwplayer-broad__title-icon--close mntl-block type--shrew-bold" data-click-tracked="false"><span id="mntl-text-block_1-0" class="comp mntl-text-block">Close</span> <svg class="icon close-icon " > <use xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" xlink:href="#close-icon" href="#close-icon"></use> </svg></button></div></div> <div id="wellness-sc-page_1-0" class="comp wellness-sc-page mntl-sc-page mntl-block structured-content article-content expert-content right-rail__offset lock-journey" data-sc-sticky-offset="60" data-sc-ad-label-height="24" data-sc-ad-track-spacing="100" data-sc-min-track-height="250" data-sc-max-track-height="600" data-sc-breakpoint="50em" data-sc-load-immediate="4" data-sc-content-positions="[400, 1400, 1400, 1700, 2000, 2200, 2400, 2600, 2800]" data-bind-scroll-on-start="true"><p id="mntl-sc-block_1-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> We can’t be everything to everyone. Following this same line of thought, one friend can’t fulfill all our needs. We can thank TikTok for cracking the code on the ideal equation for a balanced friend circle, succinctly dubbed “The 7 Friends Theory.” This theory posits that you just need seven friends who each hold a different role in your life. Think along the lines of your <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/is-it-necessary-to-keep-childhood-friends-5186903" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="1">childhood bestie</a>, a friend who is more like family, that one person who will listen to all your <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/the-toll-of-conflict-in-relationships-3144952" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="2">relationship drama</a> to no end, and so on. </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_2-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <p id="mntl-sc-block_3-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> According to TikTok, once you’ve crafted a friend circle with these seven people, you’ve struck gold. While the idea of a lush friend group brimming with various personalities who support you in perfect harmony is lovely, you might wonder how realistic it is. Or, if you happen to be more of a lone wolf, you could feel bad that you don’t have seven trusty friends. You could be thankful to even have one or two.<br/> </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_4-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <span class="heading-toc" id="toc-understanding-the-7-friends-theory"></span><h2 id="mntl-sc-block_5-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block wellness-sc-block-heading mntl-sc-block-heading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-heading__text"> Understanding the 7 Friends Theory </span> </h2> <p id="mntl-sc-block_6-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> The 7 Friends Theory was popularized on TikTok with the concept of refraining from putting all your needs on just one friend. This idea quickly went viral, with thousands of creators sharing videos that showed off their seven friends. According to this <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@slothyrach/video/7211985021291269419?q=7%20friends%20theory&t=1710872540362" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="externalLink" data-ordinal="1">popular video,</a> the seven roles are as follows: </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_7-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <div id="wellness-sc-block-callout--explainer_1-0" class="comp wellness-sc-block-callout--explainer wellness-sc-block-callout-base mntl-sc-block-callout mntl-block theme-explainer theme-explainer" data-tracking-id="mntl-sc-block-callout" data-tracking-container="true"><div id="mntl-sc-block-callout-body_1-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block-callout-body mntl-text-block expert-content"><ul><li>The friend you’ve had since you were little</li><li>The friend who could make you laugh in any situation</li><li>The friend you can go on forever without talking to, but nothing changes</li><li>The friend you can tell anything to</li><li>The friend that’s like a sister</li><li>The friend you can’t imagine not being friends with</li><li>The friend who knows all about your relationship problems, even though they don’t want to hear about it</li></ul></div></div> <p id="mntl-sc-block_9-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> There is something to be said about not relying on just one best friend to be your <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-social-support-3144960" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="1">emotional support</a>, cheer you up, listen to all your relationship woes, and be a surrogate sibling. Plus, there is a general consensus that as long as these are positive relationships, the more time you can spend with friends, the better for your overall well-being.<span class="ql-inline-citation" data-cite="1"></span> However, a key component to remember is that these are quality friendships. Think along the lines of quality over quantity. <br> </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_10-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <div id="wellness-sc-block-featuredlink--related_1-0" class="comp wellness-sc-block-featuredlink--related wellness-sc-block-featuredlink-base mntl-sc-block-featuredlink mntl-block related-link related-link theme-related"><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/one-sided-relationship-signs-causes-effects-coping-5216120" rel="nocaes" id="mntl-sc-block-featuredlink__link_1-0" class="mntl-sc-block-featuredlink__link mntl-text-link " data-tracking-container="true" data-tracking-id="featured-link" ><span class="link__wrapper">How to Tell If You're In a One-Sided Relationship</span></a></div> <div id="mntl-sc-block_12-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <span class="heading-toc" id="toc-exploring-the-roles-of-the-7-friends"></span><h2 id="mntl-sc-block_13-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block wellness-sc-block-heading mntl-sc-block-heading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-heading__text"> Exploring the Roles of the 7 Friends </span> </h2> <p id="mntl-sc-block_14-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> Let’s take a look at each of the roles of the seven friends in more detail. </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_15-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <h3 id="mntl-sc-block_17-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-subheading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-subheading__text"> The friend you’ve had since you were little </span> </h3> <p id="mntl-sc-block_18-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> You know that <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-reconnect-with-an-old-friend-without-making-it-awkward-5225930" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="1">one friend</a> who feels like home because they’ve known you your whole life? This is them. You could have been neighbors growing up or your parents are close friends. There’s a deep comfort associated with this friend based on your history together.<br> </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_19-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <h3 id="mntl-sc-block_21-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-subheading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-subheading__text"> The friend who could make you laugh in any situation </span> </h3> <p id="mntl-sc-block_22-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> Think of this person as your friend who is always up for a good time. Perhaps you call on them when you’re feeling ready to simply <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/the-stress-management-and-health-benefits-of-laughter-3145084" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="1">laugh</a> and feel free. <br> </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_23-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <h3 id="mntl-sc-block_25-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-subheading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-subheading__text"> The friend you can go on forever without talking to, but nothing changes </span> </h3> <p id="mntl-sc-block_26-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> This one is pretty self-explanatory. You may live on opposite sides of the world or have vastly different lifestyles, but any time you pick up the phone to catch up, it is like you talked yesterday.<br/> </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_27-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <h3 id="mntl-sc-block_29-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-subheading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-subheading__text"> The friend you can tell anything to </span> </h3> <p id="mntl-sc-block_30-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> They’re your vault – you know that even with your deepest secrets, they will accept and love you, they won’t shame you, and they won’t tell a soul.<br/> </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_31-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <h3 id="mntl-sc-block_33-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-subheading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-subheading__text"> The friend that’s like a sister </span> </h3> <p id="mntl-sc-block_34-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> The 7 Friends Theory isn’t just limited to <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/glossary-of-must-know-gender-identity-terms-5186274" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="1">femme-identifying</a> people, so we prefer <em>the friend that’s like a sibling</em>. They know your family, they’ll go into your cupboards to grab a snack without asking, and you know they’ll be in your life forever.<br> </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_35-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <h3 id="mntl-sc-block_37-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-subheading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-subheading__text"> The friend you can’t imagine not being friends with </span> </h3> <p id="mntl-sc-block_38-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> You text every day, they’re a huge facet of your life, and you can’t imagine <em>not</em> telling them something important, let alone not having them in your life.<br/> </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_39-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <h3 id="mntl-sc-block_41-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-subheading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-subheading__text"> The friend who knows all about your relationship problems, even though they don’t want to hear about it </span> </h3> <p id="mntl-sc-block_42-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> This friendship role is dicey. Should you have a friend you tell your relationship issues to their detriment, it is likely an unfair relationship due to the <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-emotional-labor-5193184" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="1">emotional labor</a> placed on this friend.<br> </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_43-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <div id="wellness-sc-block-featuredlink--related_2-0" class="comp wellness-sc-block-featuredlink--related wellness-sc-block-featuredlink-base mntl-sc-block-featuredlink mntl-block related-link related-link theme-related"><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/the-importance-of-friendship-3024371" rel="nocaes" id="mntl-sc-block-featuredlink__link_2-0" class="mntl-sc-block-featuredlink__link mntl-text-link " data-tracking-container="true" data-tracking-id="featured-link" ><span class="link__wrapper">6 Benefits of Friendship and Why It's So Important to Stay Close</span></a></div> <div id="mntl-sc-block_45-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <span class="heading-toc" id="toc-the-psychological-impact-of-friendships"></span><h2 id="mntl-sc-block_46-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block wellness-sc-block-heading mntl-sc-block-heading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-heading__text"> The Psychological Impact of Friendships </span> </h2> <p id="mntl-sc-block_47-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> Humans are not meant to exist in <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/loneliness-causes-effects-and-treatments-2795749" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="1">isolation</a>. Research indicates that a lack of interpersonal relationships can be pretty rough on our mental health.<span class="ql-inline-citation" data-cite="2"></span> Conversely, having a robust friend group can be quite profound for our overall well-being, with the benefits only increasing as we age.<span class="ql-inline-citation" data-cite="3"></span> That being said, <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/why-can-t-i-make-friends-5199203" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="2">it may feel daunting to try to make friends as an adult</a>. “If you’re finding it difficult to make friends as an adult, know you’re not alone,” explains <a href="https://www.amandasacks.com/#" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="externalLink" data-ordinal="3" rel="nofollow">Amanda Sacks, LCSW, E-RYT 500</a> and founder of We All Feel. She continued by stressing the importance of allowing yourself to feel all the emotions – loneliness, sadness, disappointment, <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-anger-5120208" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="4">anger</a> – that come up in the process of forging adult friendships. </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_48-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <div id="wellness-sc-block-featuredlink--related_3-0" class="comp wellness-sc-block-featuredlink--related wellness-sc-block-featuredlink-base mntl-sc-block-featuredlink mntl-block related-link related-link theme-related"><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult-4769076" rel="nocaes" id="mntl-sc-block-featuredlink__link_3-0" class="mntl-sc-block-featuredlink__link mntl-text-link " data-tracking-container="true" data-tracking-id="featured-link" ><span class="link__wrapper">How to Make Friends as an Adult</span></a></div> <div id="mntl-sc-block_50-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <span class="heading-toc" id="toc-building-and-maintaining-friendships"></span><h2 id="mntl-sc-block_51-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block wellness-sc-block-heading mntl-sc-block-heading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-heading__text"> Building and Maintaining Friendships </span> </h2> <p id="mntl-sc-block_52-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> Want to find your seven friends? Let’s get into some strategies for finding your people. Sacks recommends trying new activities or leaning into a <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/the-importance-of-hobbies-for-stress-relief-3144574" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="1">hobby</a> you love. “It can be scary to put yourself out there, so know that you are not alone if the <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-overcome-social-awkwardness-5270549" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="internalLink" data-ordinal="2">awkward</a> or anxious feelings arise,” she shares. </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_53-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <p id="mntl-sc-block_54-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> If you are out in the world living your best life, doing what you love, and sharing it (yoga, art, entrepreneurship, dancing, music, fashion, personal growth work, knitting, improv comedy, etc.), you will attract people who are passionate about doing the same. Having shared interests is a fantastic start to meeting new friends to build community with! </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_55-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <p id="mntl-sc-block_56-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> Become someone who you would want to be friends with. Learn to like and love your own company—would you want to hang out with a clone of yourself? If not, what would you want to work on so you would? </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_57-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <div id="wellness-sc-block-callout--takeaway_1-0" class="comp wellness-sc-block-callout--takeaway wellness-sc-block-callout-base mntl-sc-block-callout mntl-block theme-takeaway theme-takeaway" data-tracking-id="mntl-sc-block-callout" data-tracking-container="true"><div id="mntl-sc-block-callout-body_2-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block-callout-body mntl-text-block expert-content"><p>Know and live in alignment with your values. By being true to who you are, you will attract others who share the same values.<br/></p></div></div> <p id="mntl-sc-block_59-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> You can also positively contribute to your community. Offer value and recognize the value in others. Commit to leaving people and places better than you found them, each and every time. Don’t be a taker or a matcher, be a giver (with good boundaries — and keep doing the work to set better boundaries so your giving feels nourishing, not draining).<br/> </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_60-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <span class="heading-toc" id="toc-staying-grounded-while-finding-your-seven-friends"></span><h2 id="mntl-sc-block_61-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block wellness-sc-block-heading mntl-sc-block-heading"> <span class="mntl-sc-block-heading__text"> Staying Grounded While Finding Your Seven Friends </span> </h2> <p id="mntl-sc-block_62-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> The 7 Friends Theory isn’t realistic for everyone. Between schedules and responsibilities, some may feel challenged to find the time to cultivate friendships. Alternatively, it can be hard to find seven different people you truly connect with. That is completely natural and isn’t something to beat yourself up about. </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_63-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <p id="mntl-sc-block_64-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-html"> “Rather than focusing on the [number] of friends you have or the exact categories your friends fit into, recognize that you can define what a meaningful relationship looks like to you,” concludes Sacks. Perhaps the greatest gift of the 7 Friends Theory is that it encourages each of us to turn towards connection and set the intention of friendship. With that energy, the journey can be even better than the outcome. </p> <div id="mntl-sc-block_65-0" class="comp mntl-sc-block mntl-sc-block-adslot mntl-block"></div> <div id="wellness-sc-block-featuredlink--related_4-0" class="comp wellness-sc-block-featuredlink--related wellness-sc-block-featuredlink-base mntl-sc-block-featuredlink mntl-block related-link related-link theme-related"><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-maintain-interpersonal-relationships-5204856" rel="nocaes" id="mntl-sc-block-featuredlink__link_4-0" class="mntl-sc-block-featuredlink__link mntl-text-link " data-tracking-container="true" data-tracking-id="featured-link" ><span class="link__wrapper">Tips to Maintain an Interpersonal Relationship</span></a></div></div> <div id="post-article_1-0" class="comp post-article mntl-block"><div id="sources_1-0" class="comp sources mntl-block"><div id="mntl-article-sources_1-0" class="comp mntl-article-sources mntl-expandable-block" data-scroll-offset="70"><div class="loc toggle-content"><div id="mntl-article-sources__wrapper_1-0" class="comp mntl-article-sources__wrapper mntl-block" data-click-tracked="true" tabindex="0"><span id="mntl-article-sources__heading_1-0" class="comp mntl-article-sources__heading mntl-text-block">3 Sources</span> <svg class="icon show-icon " > <use xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" xlink:href="#show-icon" href="#show-icon"></use> </svg> <svg class="icon hide-icon " > <use xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" xlink:href="#hide-icon" href="#hide-icon"></use> </svg></div> </div><div class="loc expandable-content"><div id="source-guidelines_1-0" class="comp source-guidelines mntl-text-block">Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our <a href=/our-editorial-process-4778006>editorial process</a> to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.</div> <div id="mntl-article-sources__citation-sources_1-0" class="comp mntl-article-sources__citation-sources mntl-citation-sources mntl-sources" data-tracking-container="true"> <ol class="mntl-sources__content"> <li class="mntl-sources__source" id="citation-1"><p>Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5937874/" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="externalLink" data-ordinal="1">Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends</a>. <em>Genus</em>. 2018;74(1):7. doi:10.1186/s41118-018-0032-z</p></li> <li class="mntl-sources__source" id="citation-2"><p>Grishina M, Rooney RM, Millar L, Mann R, Mancini VO. <a href="https://ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10733530/" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="externalLink" data-ordinal="1">The effectiveness of community friendship groups on participant social and mental health: a meta-analysis.</a> <em>Front Psychol.</em> 2023;14:1078268. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1078268</p></li> <li class="mntl-sources__source" id="citation-3"><p>Song I, Kwon JW, Jeon SM. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10343095/" data-component="link" data-source="inlineLink" data-type="externalLink" data-ordinal="1">The relative importance of friendship to happiness increases with age</a>. <em>PLoS One</em>. 2023;18(7):e0288095. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0288095</p></li> </ol> </div> </div></div></div> <div id="author-bio_1-0" class="comp author-bio "> <div class="loc author-bio__image"><img data-src="https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/Juhvja-XqH8_Y8AeRpZxi6zM8w4=/144x144/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Julia_1-da0a97581ec3430eb5dfd8e7c792d846-4c2d85c8494b47bc90946a0de28c0484.jpg" width="144" height="144" alt="Julia Childs Heyl headshot" class="lazyload universal-image__image" data-expand="300" /> <noscript> <img src="https://www.verywellmind.com/thmb/Juhvja-XqH8_Y8AeRpZxi6zM8w4=/144x144/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Julia_1-da0a97581ec3430eb5dfd8e7c792d846-4c2d85c8494b47bc90946a0de28c0484.jpg" width="144" height="144" class="img--noscript universal-image__image" alt="Julia Childs Heyl headshot" /> </noscript> </div> <p class="author-bio__bio-text" > <span class="author-bio__bio-title">By <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/julia-childs-heyl-5215228">Julia Childs Heyl, MSW</a></span> <br> Julia Childs Heyl, MSW, is a clinical social worker and writer. 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