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<link rel="archives" title="February 2005" href="http://letsnotlisten.com/?m=200502"/> <link rel="archives" title="January 2005" href="http://letsnotlisten.com/?m=200501"/> <link rel="EditURI" type="application/rsd+xml" title="RSD" href="http://letsnotlisten.com/xmlrpc.php?rsd"/> <link rel="wlwmanifest" type="application/wlwmanifest+xml" href="http://letsnotlisten.com/wp-includes/wlwmanifest.xml"/> <meta name="generator" content="WordPress 2.6"/> </head> <body> <div id="page"> <div id="header"> <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://cooltext.com/"><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920im_/http://images.cooltext.com/116580.jpg" width="485" height="75" alt="Let's Not Listen"/></a> </div> <ul id="menu"> <li class="current_page_item"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/">Home</a></li> <li class="page_item page-item-417"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?page_id=417" title="About">About</a></li> <li class="page_item page-item-418"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?page_id=418" title="Contact">Contact</a></li> </ul> <div id="content"> <div id="post-715" class="item first"> <div class="itemhead"> <h1><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=715" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to "Top 5 Cover the Rat Pack"">Top 5 Cover the Rat Pack</a></h1> <div class="headerlist"> <span class="metadata date">Wed, Apr 29, 2009 at 7:53 pm</span> <span class="metadata cats">Posted in <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?cat=3" title="View all posts in American Idol" rel="category">American Idol</a></span> <span class="metadata"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=715#respond" class="commentslink" title="Comment on Top 5 Cover the Rat Pack">0 Comments</a></span> <span class="metadata"></span> </div> </div> <div class="itemtext"> <p>…which <strong>Matt G</strong>. thinks includes <strong>Rod Stewart</strong>, but that’s OK. It’s probably his last week anyway.</p> <p>I’ve been remiss with my rundowns during an usually busy past couple of weeks, but here are some quick thoughts on last night’s performances.</p> <p>1. Mentor <strong>Jamie Foxx</strong> mentions “throat Olympics,” which I didn’t know had anything to do with singing.</p> <p>2. <strong>Kris the Kutey</strong> does an adequate job with “The Way You Look Tonight,” though his rendition makes it clear that he probably wouldn’t still be in the competition if not for the way he looks every night. His prettiness is much more compelling than his voice, and whenever he wasn’t making puppy eyes into the camera I found myself losing interest.</p> <p>3. <strong>Allison</strong> sings “Someone to Watch Over Me” and is great as usual. Simon again brings up her lack of personality and confidence. He’s obviously lost his mind.</p> <p>4. Further evidence of Simon’s madness: He thought Matt’s “My Funny Valentine” was the bee’s knees. Did he not hear the opening notes?</p> <p>5. <strong>Danny and His Smugness</strong> sings “Come Rain or Come Shine,” one of my favorite songs. When he’s done, it’s no longer one of my favorite songs. Would <em>love</em> to see his reaction if he were booted tonight…<br/> <div id="attachment_716" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 217px"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/cougars.jpg"><img src="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920im_/http://letsnotlisten.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/cougars.jpg" alt="Abdul and DioGuardi" title="cougars" width="207" height="185" class="size-medium wp-image-716"/></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Abdul and DioGuardi</p></div></p> <p>6. <strong>Adam</strong> again closes the show, this time belting out “Feelin’ Good.” He changes it up a little, which is usually a profoundly stupid thing to do with a classic (see: “Ring of Fire”) but this time it works — feels current, as the judges might say.</p> <p>But instead they say the following: Kara yells that “my mouth drops open every time you perform!” Paula tells Adam that he makes her “feel better than good.” </p> <p>Yikes! Maybe they should consider running the show after 10 p.m.</p> </div>  </div> <div id="post-709" class="item "> <div class="itemhead"> <h1><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=709" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to "The Top 8 Make Me Feel Old"">The Top 8 Make Me Feel Old</a></h1> <div class="headerlist"> <span class="metadata date">Wed, Apr 8, 2009 at 12:43 am</span> <span class="metadata cats">Posted in <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?cat=3" title="View all posts in American Idol" rel="category">American Idol</a></span> <span class="metadata"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=709#respond" class="commentslink" title="Comment on The Top 8 Make Me Feel Old">0 Comments</a></span> <span class="metadata"></span> </div> </div> <div class="itemtext"> <p>OK, so I recovered from last week. I wasn’t nearly as devastated by the fact that my fave <strong>Megan</strong> got sent home, but that the girl had clearly lost her marbles sometime between her awesome “Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man” audition and her arm-flapping, caw-cawing elimination. Ah well, probably for the best.</p> <p>Now on to the Top 8, who are singing songs from the year they were born. (But first: WTF is up with the lifeless bald guy in the audience? That can’t be a real person…right?)</p> <p>But it’s not time for contestants yet! Gotta eat up time with the judges’ baby picks. Good God, did Ryan just say “poopie?” And how rich did his orthodondist get fixing those buckteeth of his? Anyway…</p> <p>1.<strong> Danny</strong> does a 1980 version of “Stand by Me.” The arrangement is awful: First he sounds like he’s ahead of the music, then it gets funky — as in bad disco funky, not good Prince funky — and the whole thing sounds counter to the classic melody.</p> <p>The judges all essentially say it was horrible, but he’s great! Vote for Danny!</p> <p>2. <strong>Kris</strong> talks about the “instructor” of a ferris wheel and wins points for his adorable gaffe. He sings “All She Wants to Do Is Dance,” processing Don Henley through his Jason Mraz filter.</p> <p>He basically does the same thing as Danny, only better, but the judges give him hell for it. You know they’re confused when Randy calls the tune “a great song.” I love me some Don Henley, but a great song that is not. Also, Simon makes a joke about how hot he and Kris are.</p> <p>3. <strong>Lil</strong>’s mother apparently felt the need to set the record straight that her daughter’s seeming <em>nom de stage</em> is actually her birth name. She sings “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” And she….well, her eye makeup is awesome, and her ass continues to go badonkadonk. But the vocals…sigh.</p> <p>Simon classifies it as “ghastly” and says what I’ve been thinking — that Lil has failed to capitalize on her 15 minutes, and her time is up. Though he also claims there were “a million” songs she could have chosen from 1984. I don’t have the stats handy, but I think he might be off a, well, lil. (I can hear your collective groan.)</p> <div id="attachment_710" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 210px"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/allison.jpeg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-710" title="<i><b>Allison</i></b>" src="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920im_/http://letsnotlisten.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/allison-200x300.jpg" alt="<i><b>Allison</i></b>" width="200" height="300"/></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Allison</p></div> <p>4. <strong>Anoop</strong> is next — is he really still in the competition? Sings “True Colors,” a sure killer, and not in a slay-’em kind of way.</p> <p>It is extremely boring, yet the judges are extremely complimentary. Simon says that Anoop doesn’t have to apologize for sassing Kara last week: “We can be horrible to you, and you can be horrible back.”</p> <p>(That makes me feel a little better for the wince-inducing kiss-off he gave to Megan last week, telling her they’re not even going to bother pretending they might save her because they just don’t care. Cold!)</p> <p>5.<strong> Scott</strong> gets up there with a guitar and warbles “The Search Is Over.” Everyone acts astonished that he plays something other than the piano; Paula says she thought an acoustic might have been better than an electric. “I thought this WAS my acoustic guitar!” Scott replies.</p> <p>(Not really. And I know I’m going to hell for making fun of the blind kid.)</p> <p>6. <strong>Allison </strong>sings “I Can’t Make You Love Me” from…ugh, 1992! Besides the fact of her extreme youth, the performance is nice enough. She can’t be Growly McGrowlerson all the time, you know.</p> <p>Simon says she needs to be more likable, which is weird for me, dawg. I mean, the girl has pink hair and a smiley monkey face. How much more likeable can she get without turning into Kris?</p> <p>7. <strong>Matt</strong> laughs his way through a totally embarrassing video of him as an earnest kiddie angel. Then he continues his aping of Justin Timberlake with “Part-Time Lover.”</p> <p>The best part of his performance is his hat, but the judges drool. Kara needs to settle down. “INCREDIBLE ON EVERY LEVEL!” she yells. Kara, we told you to stop sharing Paula’s Coke!</p> <p>8. <strong>Adam the Idol</strong> finishes the show with “Mad World,” aka the <em>Donnie Darko</em> song. He’s on a stool with his legs spread-eagle and bathed in a freaky blue light….and then he <em>stands</em>, and it’s very dramatic.</p> <p>The performance is a little overemotive and affected for my taste, but once again he’s technically dead-on. Simon gives him a standing ovation. I’m floored.</p> <p>That’s all my DVR lets me see. Never did find out who/what the bald guy was; I’m sure it’s gotta be some kind of Fox promotion. Anyone know?</p> <p>This week’s bottom three: Lil. Anoop. And, please God, Scott.</p> </div>  </div> <div id="post-703" class="item "> <div class="itemhead"> <h1><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=703" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to "Top 9 Perform…Whatever the Hell They Want"">Top 9 Perform…Whatever the Hell They Want</a></h1> <div class="headerlist"> <span class="metadata date">Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 3:18 pm</span> <span class="metadata cats">Posted in <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?cat=3" title="View all posts in American Idol" rel="category">American Idol</a></span> <span class="metadata"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=703#respond" class="commentslink" title="Comment on Top 9 Perform…Whatever the Hell They Want">0 Comments</a></span> <span class="metadata"></span> </div> </div> <div class="itemtext"> <p>A rundown:</p> <p>Kara continues Simon’s spot-on comment about how “it’s fine being an artist, just not on this show” by defining her go-to word, “artistry,” as “….making you want to run out and buy the record.” Prompting the contestants to whip out their cells and Google “record” during the first of many commercial breaks.</p> <p>1. <strong>Anoop</strong> sings Usher’s “Caught Up” and promises “high energy.” Epic fail. Kara: “I feel like a bunch of frat guys dared you to get up there and sing Usher.” Burn! Ryan tries to start a fight between Anoop and Miss DiaG. Also an epic fail.</p> <p>2. <strong>Megan</strong>…oh Megan. You were so good in your audition and first performance! I didn’t even mind “Rockin’ Robin.” But Bob Marley?? She does “Turn Your Lights Down Low.” It’s dull. And girlfriend can’t dance and sing simultaneously. Randy pretends he’s Simon and says it was “like watching paint dry.” Dawg!</p> <p>3. <strong>Danny and His</strong>…hey, he’s wearing the same glasses as last week! Bravo. Sings “What Hurts the Most” by Rascal Flatts, with the intention of “pull[ing] out what’s inside of him.” A violin starts…zzzzzzWha? Oh yeah, <em>Idol. </em></p> <p>He does his thing. My cat walks in the living room and my husband and I both start cooing as if we’ve never seen her before. The song is over! The judges drool — Simon APPLAUDS — so I gotta watch it again.</p> <p>Eh — still not all that impressed. Kara says he “gave so much of your heart and soul to the audience.” TRANSLATION: “We really want you to be in the Top 3.” My husband exclaims: “Don’t be fooled, America, he’s <strong>Taylor Hicks</strong> all over again!”</p> <p>4. <strong>Allison</strong> whips out the guitar for “Don’t Speak.” She says she “grew up listening to the song” and I suddenly feel very old. She doesn’t knock it out of the park but it’s still good, so the judges resort to critiquing her Pebbles Flinstone outfit.</p> <p>5. Aargh, <strong>Scott</strong>. You know how I feel about him…but he’s doing Billy Joel! Besides his weird, flash-frozen smile to the audience right before he starts singing, it’s probably his best performance. (Disclaimer: May be slightly biased by the fact that I love me some Billy Joel. There, I said it.)</p> <p>Dude got a nice makeover, too. Meanwhile, Paula is looking more haggard as the night wears on.</p> <p>6. <strong>Matt</strong> sings “You Found Me” by the Fray and is allowed to play his keyboard offstage surrounded by girls. Doesn’t seem quite fair, but it doesn’t help him win points for his tepid David Cook impersonation. Judges: Hated it!</p> <p>This kind of irks me, though — if a contestant does the same thing every week, they’re chastised for not showing their versatility. Show some versatility, though, and now “We don’t know who you are!” (I know, I know, most viewers probably have recognized this hypocrisy many seasons ago. I’m a relative newcomer.)</p> <p>7. <strong>Lil</strong> does Celine Dion’s “I Surrender” with a new weave and some serious makeup. During the big notes, she sounds good but looks like a blowup doll. (Go ahead, watch it again.)</p> <p>Ryan again tries to start trouble, this time by putting Lil’s terrified toddler daughters in the spotlight. Classy! In the end, the younger spawn ends up glommed on to poor Randy.</p> <p>8. <strong>Adam</strong> is singing “Play That Funky Music” and is shown letting loose an AaaaAAAAHHHHH!!! during practice. Oh no! Immediately, it sounds like a cruise-ship arrangement. The return of the pompadour, the cheesy gyrations, the knee-dancing…”it’s like Ralph Macchio or Adrian Zmed singing,” according to husband, officially winning tonight’s Best Snark.</p> <p>It’s moderately painful, but then comes the “’till you die AY AYAYAY AYAYAYAAYY!!” and <em>GOOD GOD WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING TO THE SONG?</em> Simon calls it “original,” which is one way of putting it. Kara says it was “like Studio 57 in here” — I’m thinking she meant Studio 54, but that’s OK, Paula Jr.</p> <p>At any rate, the judges are all over it, so this is another performance I’m rewinding…and <em>Oh God, no, no, no!</em> Sorry. (Classy of him to give the band props, though.)</p> <p>9. <strong>Kris the Kutey</strong> is going to sing…”Anal Sunshine?” Oh, “Ain’t No Sunshine.” Great song, he sounds OK, but really you gotta have a bit more grit — or “flavor,” as the judges might say — to pull it off. Go forth and get thy heart broken, boy, then try again. Judges drool regardless.</p> <p>Bottom 3 prediction: Matt. Scott. And, sigh, Megan. Might be the week my fave goes home! But maybe it’s better to put the poor thing out of her misery.</p> <p><img src="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920im_/http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/1982/images/zmedsing.jpg" alt="http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/1982/images/zmedsing.jpg"/></p> <p><em><strong>Adam Lambert.</strong></em></p> </div>  </div> <div id="post-699" class="item "> <div class="itemhead"> <h1><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=699" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to "And the Idolette With the Least Votes Is…ARGH, MY DVR CUT OFF!"">And the Idolette With the Least Votes Is…ARGH, MY DVR CUT OFF!</a></h1> <div class="headerlist"> <span class="metadata date">Thu, Mar 26, 2009 at 10:59 pm</span> <span class="metadata cats">Posted in <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?cat=3" title="View all posts in American Idol" rel="category">American Idol</a></span> <span class="metadata"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=699#respond" class="commentslink" title="Comment on And the Idolette With the Least Votes Is…ARGH, MY DVR CUT OFF!">0 Comments</a></span> <span class="metadata"></span> </div> </div> <div class="itemtext"> <p>Was only halfway through Smokey Robinson and Joss Stone’s semi-creepy duet when I noticed that the ep’s stated running time was only 30 minutes…and then BAM, the show ended.</p> <p>Where’s my drama? Where’s Stevie? WHERE’S MY RESULT???</p> <p>Dammit. I really don’t want to just look it up online. So anticlimactic! But I suppose I won’t be able to wait until tomorrow.</p> <blockquote><p>Dear President Obama,</p> <p>This is your fault. Yours, and DirecTV. Not at all mine. (OK, maybe a little.)</p> <p>Signed,</p> <p>Devastated</p></blockquote> </div>  </div> <div id="post-695" class="item "> <div class="itemhead"> <h1><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=695" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to "The Top 10 Go to Mehtown"">The Top 10 Go to Mehtown</a></h1> <div class="headerlist"> <span class="metadata date">Thu, Mar 26, 2009 at 7:52 pm</span> <span class="metadata cats">Posted in <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?cat=3" title="View all posts in American Idol" rel="category">American Idol</a></span> <span class="metadata"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=695#respond" class="commentslink" title="Comment on The Top 10 Go to Mehtown">0 Comments</a></span> <span class="metadata"></span> </div> </div> <div class="itemtext"> <p>I know, this week’s results show is about to start. So here are my highly abbreviated impressions of the Top 10’s tackling of Motown hits:</p> <p>1. <strong>Smokey</strong>’s green eyes are kinda freaking me out.</p> <p>2. <strong>Matt</strong> sings “Let’s Get It On.” I’m not exactly sure I agree with Robinson’s assessment that the cover would “floor” Marvin Gaye. In their praise, Kara’s suggestive and Paula’s making sense. What’s going on?</p> <p>3. <strong>Kris the Kutey</strong> sings “How Sweet It Is,” and is unsurprisingly adorable if still borderline generic.</p> <p>4. <strong>Scott</strong> is wearing salmon pants and a pink shirt, the combination of which, according to my husband, “is like vomit.” He sings “Can’t Hurry Love.” But he can’t sing, and it’s about time everyone realizes that and votes him off so he can go back to dressing himself without TV cameras capturing the result.</p> <p>5. After Paula whips out a coloring book for Simon, Ryan asks her, “Dare I ask what else you have under this table?” Paula responds, “It’s under my skirt!” And the effects of her magic Coke have kicked in.</p> <p>6. My Idol girlfriend, <strong>Megan</strong>, tries “For Once in My Life.” I have to admit: It’s not great. But please keep her on!</p> <p>7. <strong>Anoop</strong> sings “Ooh Baby Baby.” Bad. Bad. Bad.</p> <p>8. <strong>Sarver</strong>, whom my household has it in for after he skated by last week as Alexis got kicked off, attempts to “take it to church” with “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.” Soooo smiley and white bread. Painful. But not as painful as when Simon flat-out tells him he has no chance of winning.</p> <p>9. <strong>Lil</strong> sings “Heat Wave” like the show’s short on time. It may not have been too much faster than the song’s original tempo, but it feels super sped-up and doesn’t let her voice sound anything but ordinary. And hey, the judges agree with me!</p> <p>10. <strong>Adam</strong>’s going to sing “Tracks of My Tears,” but then some dude in a suit and pompadour takes the stage. Whoa, it’s Lambert! And he’s pretty damn good, totally owns the night by keeping things soft and showing off a perfect falsetto. Kara: “I’ve got six words: One of the best performances of the night!” That’s not six words.</p> <p>11. <strong>Danny and His Glasses</strong> sing “Get Ready.” Mercifully he kind of marches around the stage instead of dances, but it’s still only workaday good. Getting a little tired of him.</p> <p>12. <strong>Allison</strong> sings “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” like a 40-year-old whisky-drinkin’ R&B diva. Awesome. Plus, Paula has a mustache.</p> <p>T minus 10 until the protracted results. Look for my wrap-up around, oh, 24 hours from now.</p> </div>  </div> <div id="post-684" class="item "> <div class="itemhead"> <h1><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=684" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to "Top 11 Tackle Country Week"">Top 11 Tackle Country Week</a></h1> <div class="headerlist"> <span class="metadata date">Wed, Mar 18, 2009 at 6:36 pm</span> <span class="metadata cats">Posted in <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?cat=3" title="View all posts in American Idol" rel="category">American Idol</a></span> <span class="metadata"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=684#respond" class="commentslink" title="Comment on Top 11 Tackle Country Week">0 Comments</a></span> <span class="metadata"></span> </div> </div> <div class="itemtext"> <p>It’s Country Week, which has to be better than Michael Jackson week. Right? Well…</p> <p>The judges are introduced as they walk onto the stage, a new bit of fanfare I’m not digging this season. Uh, is Kara from the future? What’s with the Mylar dress?</p> <p>Skeletor is the guest mentor…oh wait, it’s <strong>Randy Travis</strong>. Anyway, let’s do this thing:</p> <p>1. <strong>The Roughneck</strong> goes first, singing a <strong>Garth Brooks</strong> song that sounds an awful lot like “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” He’s OK; that harmonica player, though, is WAY too excited to be there. Roughneck sasses Simon, which is apparently the new thing to do, and it’s already getting old.</p> <p>2. <strong>Allison</strong> sings “Blame It On Your Heart,” a song I’m not ashamed to admit I love. She’s great…no, wait, she’s <em>dope, </em>a word Randy will trot out once more before the end of the show and that I predict is going to be his new go-to critique.</p> <p>Simon calls Allison precocious, which I don’t see at all; she’d have to look and sound like the 16-year-old she is to earn that description, and she definitely doesn’t look 16. Like a monkey, maybe. But not 16.</p> <p><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/country.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-689" title="country" src="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920im_/http://letsnotlisten.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/country-271x300.jpg" alt="" width="271" height="300"/></a>3. <strong>Kris “Teddy Bear” Allen</strong> is going to sing…”And So It Goes?” THIS IS NOT A COUNTRY SONG. <strong>Billy Joel</strong> wrote and recorded it. <strong>Bob Dylan</strong> did a cover. Not country. Gotta rewind the DVR; missed the very beginning of TB’s mentor session. OK, Garth Brooks covered it, too. Still not a country song, but it’s pretty, even with TB’s not-outstanding vocals.</p> <p>Simon says it “wasn’t over the top” — was he talking to Paula during some of TB’s flourishes? And what was with that lurid eyebrow raise from Travis after TB finished his practice run? Yikes. Hope he got outta that room before kindly ol’ Randy offered him some Jesus Juice.</p> <p>4. Lil sings <strong>Martina McBride</strong>’s “Independence Day” and sounds good to me. Randy once again proves he’s an idiot by saying “it didn’t feel comfortable for me on you.” Uh, maybe because she’s not a country artist? Most entertaining part, though, is when Simon insists on calling her “Little,” as if it’s the name on her birth certificate.</p> <p>5. <strong>Adam</strong> matches Kara in a we-come-in-peace spaceman outfit. He mentions to Travis that he’s not doing <strong>Johnny Cash</strong>’s version of “Ring of Fire,” but one with sitars and an Indian flavor. Travis: “Now you’re scarin’ me.” And then to the camera: “I was speechless. I don’t know what to say about this boy.” Further rags on his nail polish but manages to say that Adam seems like a nice enough kid.</p> <p>As far as the performance, I start typing that Adam, who has not been a favorite of mine, sounds hella-awesome on the high notes. But then he goes into his falsetto, and…oof. No good. And then he starts wailing!</p> <p>Kara, Adam’s UFO co-pilot, sums it up politely: “It was strange.” But then Simon, as usual, sums it up best: “I think what Randy [Travis] was trying to say was, “What the hell was that? I think there are a lot of people throwing their televisions out the window right now….indulgent rubbish. Really, really horrific.”</p> <p>6. More Martina McBride from <strong>Scott “Skating on My Disability” MacIntyre</strong>. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Please vote him off, people — his voice is just NOT that good. Plus, he looks like he belongs in <strong>Madame Tussauds</strong>.</p> <p>On a side note, does Randy really think there will eve be a <strong>Bruce Hornsby</strong> week? He seems to be sipping from Paula’s cup. Told Scott that he was “looking for hot, crazy, unbelievable vocals from you.” Wrong contestant, dude. <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/country-2.png"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-693" title="country-2" src="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920im_/http://letsnotlisten.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/country-2-300x300.png" alt="" width="300" height="300"/></a></p> <p>7. <strong>Alexis</strong> is doing “Jolene.” Yay! Except — boo. The arrangement is bad; the vocals are meh. “I’m just trying to bring my own little flavor to it,” Alexis retorts, which is a great way to spin “I sucked.” Paula says, “I don’t care about pitch problems.” Really? Did my TV switch channels?</p> <p>And are we doomed to spend the rest of the season hearing Alexis judged based on her level of “dirtiness?” For the love of God, please shut up about that throwaway piece of audition advice already.</p> <p>8. <strong>Danny’s glasses</strong> perform “Jesus Take the Wheel.” The beginning is awful, but it’s all in the name of the big-ass power chorus. He mouths “wow” when Paula posits that <strong>Carrie Underwood</strong> herself (gasp!) would probably buy Danny’s cover of her song. Perhaps not surprising considering dude seems to be wearing a reverse straitjacket.</p> <p>9. <strong>Anoop</strong> is singing “Always on My Mind.” I giggle when Travis mentions that Anoop Dawg sang it before and says, “It’s hard to get willy out of your mind.” Whoops, he meant “<strong>Willie</strong>.”</p> <p>He sings; it’s “dope.” I can’t believe Simon says something as cheesy as “You just went from zero to hero.” I also can’t believe Anoop wore an argyle hoodie for country week, but whatev.</p> <p>10. Ah, <strong>Megan</strong>…I should probably confess that I’ve anointed her my <em>Idol</em> girlfriend. She is singing <strong>Patsy Cline</strong>’s “Walkin’ After Midnight,” to which the obviously open-minded Travis responds: “Ummm…OK.”</p> <p>I gotta admit that Megan’s cute little twists and inflections didn’t really work this time, though the vocals are better than the dancing. I also think she pulled a <strong>Haley Scarnato</strong> and misunderstood the gist of the song — it’s all aching and yearning, and Megan’s delivery was pretty cheery.</p> <p>But wow — girlfriend had the flu, bad enough to have gone to the hospital. In light of that, Kara’s “You’re a winner!” doesn’t seem so…weird.</p> <p>11. <strong>Matt Timberlake</strong> sings more Carrie Underwood, a ballad called “So Small.” Boring! Though, to be fair, not as boring as some of the others tonight.</p> <p>Kara: “Matt, there ain’t nothin’ small about you!” Er…I’ll just leave it at that.</p> </div>  </div> <div id="post-682" class="item "> <div class="itemhead"> <h1><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=682" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to "My Poor, Neglected Website…"">My Poor, Neglected Website…</a></h1> <div class="headerlist"> <span class="metadata date">Fri, Feb 20, 2009 at 2:13 pm</span> <span class="metadata cats">Posted in <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?cat=5" title="View all posts in news" rel="category">news</a></span> <span class="metadata"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=682#respond" class="commentslink" title="Comment on My Poor, Neglected Website…">0 Comments</a></span> <span class="metadata"></span> </div> </div> <div class="itemtext"> <p>This by-the-way is quite overdue: Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t updated the site in, oh, months. I’m still offering my allegedly worthless opinions on movies every week for the Washington City Paper. But after going nearly insane setting up Let’s Not Listen, CP recruited me to blog for them as well. (Yes, it is a no-brainer, but for some reason I never did it.)</p> <p>So, anyway, you can find my reviews + more at <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/" target="_blank">Washington City Paper</a>. There’s not a dedicated film blog yet; for now I’m contributing to City Desk. Go forth and peruse!</p> <p>(And maybe someday, if I become one of those people who need only 4 hours of sleep a night, I’ll go back to giving my baby the attention it deserves.)</p> </div>  </div> <div id="post-674" class="item "> <div class="itemhead"> <h1><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=674" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to "Choke"">Choke</a></h1> <div class="headerlist"> <span class="metadata date">Fri, Sep 26, 2008 at 12:57 am</span> <span class="metadata cats">Posted in <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?cat=7" title="View all posts in reviews" rel="category">reviews</a></span> <span class="metadata"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=674#respond" class="commentslink" title="Comment on Choke">0 Comments</a></span> <span class="metadata"></span> </div> </div> <div class="itemtext"> <p><img src="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920im_/http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Choke/brad_william_henke_and_sam_rockwell_choke_movie_image__1_.jpg" alt="http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Choke/brad_william_henke_and_sam_rockwell_choke_movie_image__1_.jpg"/></p> <p><em><strong>Behold the rack on that fair maiden</strong></em></p> <p>Unless it involves banging a stranger in an airplane bathroom, Victor Mancini is not a stand-up guy. The main character of <strong><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://www.foxsearchlight.com/choke/"><em>Choke</em></a></strong> is a sex addict who’s sorta-kinda working on his recovery while not even thinking about putting the brakes on his signature scam: going to fancy restaurants and pretending to have Hoovered down some windpipe blockage so a wealthy patron might save him and feel compelled to send the poor sap a buck or 20 every now and then.</p> <p>Victor steals from the rich, he tells people, in order to keep his mother, who’s suffering from dementia, in a private hospital. You get the feeling he’d do it regardless.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">But this being a Chuck Palahniuk story, Victor (Sam Rockwell) is not his peccadillos, just like Palahniuk’s <em>Fight Club</em> characters were not their khakis. That’s the (loose) moral of writer-director Clark Gregg’s adaptation of <em>Choke</em> – others may label you an addict, con artist, or all-around jerk, but it’s what you decide you are that defines you – and it serves as redemption in a film with situations so seedy and humor so dark you’ll feel a little ashamed after laughing.</p> <p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Like when Victor finally tells a confused, dogged elderly patient at his mother’s hospital that yes, he is the brother who molested her. “Absolutely, I boned you silly,” he says. The woman starts to cry; Victor tries to get through the door she’s blocking. “Listen, I’m sorry I hurt your woowoo,” he says impatiently. “But it was like 80 years ago!”</p> <p>Gregg, a first-time director best known for being one of David Mamet’s go-to actors, rarely lets the comedy slide toward wackiness and erase the story’s bleak undercurrent. Rockwell’s twinkle-eyed charm and Palahniuk’s gift for deadpan absurdity are crucial, however, to keeping Victor amusing, if just short of likable.</p> <p>He’s introduced at a sexaholics meeting, which he attends mainly to get laid, not to control his compulsion. He pictures every woman he sees, from nurses to nuns, topless. (A lot of the images turn out to be memories.) And his best friend is Denny (Brad William Henke), a chronic masturbator who works with Victor at a colonial theme park.</p> <p>Mostly, they just get in trouble there, irritating their boss (Gregg, in a funny bit part) to the point where even he forgets about the rules to constantly speak in “oldenspiel.” (If you think listening to people bitch about work is entertaining, try hearing it in colonial English.)</p> <p><em>Choke</em>’s plot is essentially about Victor’s inability to tackle the fourth of an addiction program’s 12 steps: taking inventory of one’s messy life in order to move on. While Denny falls in love—to a stripper Victor relentlessly denigrates, one of his truly jackass habits—Victor finds himself unable to turn Dr. Paige Marshall (<em>No Country for Old Men</em>’s Kelly Macdonald) into a notch on his pillory.</p> <p>He blames the chapel she always wants to do it in (“I’d like to see you cop a chubby with the Holy Savior staring down your crack,” he tells Denny), but it turns out Victor actually has feelings for her and has yet to regard like and lust as anything but mutually exclusive.</p> <p>The person who really begins to tear down Victor’s lifelong defenses, however, is the one responsible for planting them—his mother, Ida (Anjelica Huston, radiant both in the fully-gray present as well as her black-haired flashbacks), whose condition is worsening and frequently speaks negatively about her son directly to him, believing he’s someone else. We learn that Ida was a con artist and adrenaline junkie herself, never letting Victor do anything as pedestrian as run around a playground when they could steal a bus, and the boy was often placed in foster homes.</p> <p>Ida’s sudden desire to tell Victor the truth about his absentee father is developed into a rather funny, but nonetheless metaphorically meaningful, subplot involving that Holy Savior in front of whom Victor can’t get it up; this revelation, along with another twist, adds end-chapter layers to the film you never see coming at its <em>Superbad</em>-for-grownups start. <em>Choke</em> is not its dirty jokes, but another black-edged frame through which Palahniuk examines a life.</p> </div>  </div> <div id="post-672" class="item "> <div class="itemhead"> <h1><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=672" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to "The Duchess"">The Duchess</a></h1> <div class="headerlist"> <span class="metadata date">Fri, Sep 26, 2008 at 12:43 am</span> <span class="metadata cats">Posted in <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?cat=7" title="View all posts in reviews" rel="category">reviews</a></span> <span class="metadata"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=672#comments" class="commentslink" title="Comment on The Duchess">1 Comment</a></span> <span class="metadata"></span> </div> </div> <div class="itemtext"> <p><img src="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920im_/http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/theduchess.jpg" alt="http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/theduchess.jpg"/></p> <p><em><strong>I wish someone would hurry up and invent the CHI</strong></em></p> <p>Sex without love was also the norm for Georgiana Cavendish, 18th century socialite and chosen wife of the Duke of Devonshire, whose semi-interesting story is told in Saul Dibb’s semi-interesting <strong><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://www.theduchessmovie.com/"><em>The Duchess</em>.</a></strong> At its opening shot of Keira Knightley’s back, ringlets bouncing and ornate train dragging along a perfectly manicured lawn, you can’t help but think you’ve seen this period piece before.</p> <p>Nearly two hours later, you’ll feel like you’ve been sitting for three, and with that first instinct pretty much confirmed.</p> <p>The most compelling aspect of <em>The Duchess</em> isn’t that the royal couple becomes a triple, nor that Georgiana (Knightley) was pressured by society and even her own mother (Charlotte Rampling) to—and this may come as a shock—put on a happy face and perform her wifely duties despite her loveless marriage.</p> <p>More intriguing is Georgiana’s fashion-plate reputation and general popularity despite her husband’s preference for the company of other women or even his dogs; as one character puts it, “The Duke must be the only man in England not in love with his wife.” Georgiana was the people’s princess and pop icon two centuries before Lady Di came along—from the Duchess’ own bloodline, Diana Spencer being a distant niece.</p> <p>Screenwriters Dibb, Jeffrey Hatcher, and Anders Thomas Jensen (working from Amanda Foreman’s biography of the duchess) also inject parallels to the current election into the story, as Georgiana uses her celebrity to promote the Whig party and its leaders bellowing about change.</p> <p>The film, against all reason, actually perks up when politics are discussed, proving that its characters are thinking beings and not just models for flouncewear. (But wigs and hats, unfortunately, are given more prominence here than Whigs, with Knightley’s getting increasingly absurd, from merely hyper-inflated poofs to bizarre Afro-like wedges and, always, towering headgear.)</p> <p>The source of Georgiana’s misery is Ralph Fiennes, whose Duke William is socially awkward and monosyllabic, sealing his marriage negotiations with the teenager’s mother with a wan, “So be it, then.” The Duke’s sole motivation for marrying was to produce a male heir, and despite Georgiana’s beauty, their sex life is mechanical, their romance nonexistent.</p> <p>When G, as William calls her, fails to immediately produce a son, things go from civil to resentful. Among other humiliations, William saddles Georgiana with a daughter from a previous liaison so she can “practice her mothering skills,” and he later starts an affair with her best friend, Bess (Hayley Atwell), who had moved in with them—and never left.</p> <p>Though <em>The Duchess</em>’ pace is slow, its acting is as good as can be expected, and better in Knightley’s case: Finally, she does more here than look aristocratic, with moments of Natalie Portman–esque impishness as well as nuanced expressions of heartbreak. Fiennes’ casting is atypical and he’s thorough as a bore. Yet, well, his character’s a bore.</p> <p>After a while, William becomes truly hateful, and the trouble is that Georgiana, no matter how depressing her straits may be, becomes hard to sympathize with, too, seeming to get dumber as the years go on instead of learning how to play the game. Blame the hats and rent <em>Atonement</em>.</p> </div>  </div> <div id="post-670" class="item "> <div class="itemhead"> <h1><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=670" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to "Trouble the Water"">Trouble the Water</a></h1> <div class="headerlist"> <span class="metadata date">Fri, Sep 26, 2008 at 12:32 am</span> <span class="metadata cats">Posted in <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?cat=7" title="View all posts in reviews" rel="category">reviews</a></span> <span class="metadata"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=670#respond" class="commentslink" title="Comment on Trouble the Water">0 Comments</a></span> <span class="metadata"></span> </div> </div> <div class="itemtext"> <p><img src="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920im_/http://www.indiewire.com/people/troublethewateSFF.jpg" alt="http://www.indiewire.com/people/troublethewateSFF.jpg"/></p> <p><em><strong>Heroes from the block</strong></em></p> <p>Spike Lee might have detailed everything that went wrong in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in his exhaustive four-hour miniseries, 2006’s <em>When the Levees Broke</em>, but you need watch only a few seconds of <strong><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://troublethewaterfilm.com/"><em>Trouble the Water</em></a></strong> to understand the most wrenching issue: One scene features a series of 911 calls, most achingly from a polite but clearly terrified woman saying she can’t get out of her flooding attic, as the screen shows a street corner that’s turned into an ocean.</p> <p>“The police are not coming out until the weather conditions get better,” the operator says. Pause. “So I’m gonna die.” The remark goes unanswered.</p> <p>A chunk of the footage in Tia Lessin and Carl Deal’s powerful and angering documentary is provided by aspiring rapper and Ninth Ward resident Kimberly Rivers Roberts, who sensed Katrina was going to be a “bad chick” but didn’t have money to leave. So she and her husband, Scott, filmed their experience from just before the storm hit, when the New Orleans sky was still blue.</p> <p>Kimberly, 24, may not be Werner Herzog; her camerawork is <em>Blair Witch</em> shaky and her commentary is often gangsta crude. But there’s no denying her boast that compared to all the hurricane coverage by network news, “Nobody got what I got.” The footage is singular, not only of the storm’s force but of what it was like to be hunkered down in a dark attic with as many people as the space could hold.</p> <p>Afterward, the directors take over but stick with the Roberts family as they wander their destroyed neighborhood, searching for the dead and wondering why, two weeks later, the National Guard still hasn’t arrived. (Answer: Many of Louisiana’s guardsmen were in Iraq, and President Bush “completely disagree[d]” with the idea of redeploying them for Katrina relief.)</p> <p>The film touches on the relief efforts’ many missteps and doesn’t shy away from racial issues, opening with a sound bite of Chris Matthews asking if our leaders’ reaction would have been the same were the victims all white and, later, showing a black Tennessee woman saying, “If you don’t have money, if you don’t have status, you don’t have a government.”</p> <p>What further elevates <em>Trouble the Water</em> above other Katrina-themed works is an astonishing hopefulness: The Roberts family, constantly helping others, maintains both a realistic and positive perspective on their situation, with Kimberly in particular showing remarkable resilience. At one point, she performs a rap about her life that’s inspiring—and not half-bad. As she says, “I can’t do nothing [now] but go up.”</p> </div>  </div> <div class="navigation"> <div class="alignleft"><p class="home"><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?paged=2">« Previous Entries</a></p></div> <div class="alignright"><p class="home"></p></div> </div> </div> <div id="sidebar"> <form method="get" id="searchform" action="/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/index.php"> <input type="text" value="Search the Site" onblur="setTimeout('closeResults()',2000); if (this.value == '') {this.value = 'Search the Site';}" onfocus="if (this.value == 'Search the Site') {this.value = '';}" name="s" id="s" size="15"/> </form> <h1 class="title">Recent Posts</h1> <ul> <li><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=715">Top 5 Cover the Rat Pack </a></li> <li><a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20100224075920/http://letsnotlisten.com/?p=709">The Top 8 Make Me Feel Old </a></li> <li><a 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