CINXE.COM
Find the Coaching in Criticism
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googletag.enableServices(); googletag.pubads().addEventListener("slotRenderEnded", (event) => { const slotId = event.slot.getSlotElementId(); const handler = window.adEventHandlers[slotId] if (handler) { handler(event); }; }); }) </script><link rel="preload" href="/assets/mfe-core/fonts/GT-America-Standard-Bold.449f1ad7.woff" as="font" type="font/woff" crossorigin="anonymous" data-testid="preload-link"/><link rel="preload" href="/assets/mfe-core/fonts/GT-America-Standard-Light.0f59caef.woff" as="font" type="font/woff" crossorigin="anonymous" data-testid="preload-link"/><link rel="preload" href="/assets/mfe-core/fonts/GT-America-Standard-Regular.ee9c3d0d.woff" as="font" type="font/woff" crossorigin="anonymous" data-testid="preload-link"/><link rel="preload" href="/assets/mfe-core/fonts/tiempos-headline-semibold.978ff30b.woff2" as="font" type="font/woff2" crossorigin="anonymous" data-testid="preload-link"/><link rel="preload" href="/assets/mfe-core/fonts/tiempos-text-regular.95ed0e7c.woff2" as="font" type="font/woff2" crossorigin="anonymous" data-testid="preload-link"/><title>Find the Coaching in Criticism</title><link rel="preload" as="image" href="/resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111.jpg" imageSrcSet="/resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111.jpg 1200w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-300x169.jpg 300w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-768x432.jpg 768w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-1024x576.jpg 1024w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-500x281.jpg 500w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-383x215.jpg 383w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-700x394.jpg 700w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-850x478.jpg 850w" imageSizes="(min-width: 64em) 84vw, 100vw"/><meta name="test" content="rollback"/><meta name="msapplication-config" content="none" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="ox-group" content="537063787" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="page-type" content="ITEM" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="twitter:card" content="summary_large_image" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="twitter:creator" content="@harvardbiz" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="twitter:site" content="@harvardbiz" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="robots" content="max-image-preview:large" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="viewport" content="initial-scale=1, width=device-width" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="uid" content="28FA1DC59350BA3EDC440C9249BDD7BE" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="article-type" content="" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="article-content-type" content="Magazine Article" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="description" content="Reprint: R1401K Feedback is crucial—but almost everyone, from new hires to C-suite executives, struggles with receiving it. The authors, who have spent 20 years working with managers on difficult conversations, outline six steps that can help you turn feedback into an important, and unthreatening, tool. Know your tendencies. Look for patterns in how you respond. (Do you defend yourself? Do you lash out?) Once you understand your standard operating procedure, you can make better choices about where to go from there. Separate the “what” from the “who.” Your feelings about the messenger might be short-circuiting your ability to learn from the message. Sort toward coaching. Work to hear feedback as well-meant advice, not as an indictment. Unpack the feedback. Resist snap judgments; explore where suggestions are coming from and where they’re going. Request and direct feedback. Don’t wait for a formal review; ask for bite-size pieces of coaching. Experiment. Try following a piece of advice and seeing what happens. Criticism is never easy to take—but learning to pull value from it is essential to your development and success." data-testid="meta"/><meta name="item-name" content="Find the Coaching in Criticism" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="page-category-name" content="Difficult conversations" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="shopper-attributes" content="state:guest" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="twitter:image" content="/resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111.jpg" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="article:section" content="Difficult conversations" data-testid="meta"/><meta name="item-id" content="tag:hbr.org,1922-01-01:201401.44192-R1401K" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="article:publisher" content="https://www.facebook.com/HBR" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="og:site_name" content="Harvard Business Review" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="og:type" content="article" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="og:description" content="Reprint: R1401K Feedback is crucial—but almost everyone, from new hires to C-suite executives, struggles with receiving it. The authors, who have spent 20 years working with managers on difficult conversations, outline six steps that can help you turn feedback into an important, and unthreatening, tool. Know your tendencies. Look for patterns in how you respond. (Do you defend yourself? Do you lash out?) Once you understand your standard operating procedure, you can make better choices about where to go from there. Separate the “what” from the “who.” Your feelings about the messenger might be short-circuiting your ability to learn from the message. Sort toward coaching. Work to hear feedback as well-meant advice, not as an indictment. Unpack the feedback. Resist snap judgments; explore where suggestions are coming from and where they’re going. Request and direct feedback. Don’t wait for a formal review; ask for bite-size pieces of coaching. Experiment. Try following a piece of advice and seeing what happens. Criticism is never easy to take—but learning to pull value from it is essential to your development and success." data-testid="meta"/><meta property="og:image" content="/resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111.jpg" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="og:title" content="Find the Coaching in Criticism" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="article:published_time" content="2014-01-01T05:00:00.000+00:00" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="page-id" content="300" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="article:modified_time" content="2023-01-26T19:36:59Z" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="page-category-id" content="391684" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="intromercial" content="false" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="issue-id" content="[object Object]" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="article:tag" content="Managing yourself" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="article:tag" content="Employee performance management" data-testid="meta"/><meta property="article:tag" content="Receiving feedback" data-testid="meta"/><script>window.digitalData = {"pageInstanceID":"Find the Coaching in Criticism:production","siteID":"hbrprod","page":{"pageInfo":{"language":"en","contentType":"Magazine Article","pageName":"Find the Coaching in Criticism","pageType":"Article","pageCategoryID":"391684","pageCategoryName":"Difficult conversations","pageDescription":"Reprint: R1401K Feedback is crucial—but almost everyone, from new hires to C-suite executives, struggles with receiving it. The authors, who have spent 20 years working with managers on difficult conversations, outline six steps that can help you turn feedback into an important, and unthreatening, tool. Know your tendencies. Look for patterns in how you respond. (Do you defend yourself? Do you lash out?) Once you understand your standard operating procedure, you can make better choices about where to go from there. Separate the “what” from the “who.” Your feelings about the messenger might be short-circuiting your ability to learn from the message. Sort toward coaching. Work to hear feedback as well-meant advice, not as an indictment. Unpack the feedback. Resist snap judgments; explore where suggestions are coming from and where they’re going. Request and direct feedback. Don’t wait for a formal review; ask for bite-size pieces of coaching. Experiment. Try following a piece of advice and seeing what happens. 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The authors, who have spent 20 years working with managers on difficult conversations, outline six steps that can help you turn feedback into an important, and unthreatening, tool. Know your tendencies. Look for patterns in how you respond. (Do you defend yourself? Do you lash out?) Once you understand your standard operating procedure, you can make better choices about where to go from there. Separate the “what” from the “who.” Your feelings about the messenger might be short-circuiting your ability to learn from the message. Sort toward coaching. Work to hear feedback as well-meant advice, not as an indictment. Unpack the feedback. Resist snap judgments; explore where suggestions are coming from and where they’re going. Request and direct feedback. Don’t wait for a formal review; ask for bite-size pieces of coaching. Experiment. Try following a piece of advice and seeing what happens. Criticism is never easy to take—but learning to pull value from it is essential to your development and success.","image":"https://hbr.org/resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111.jpg","datePublished":"2014-01-01T05:00:00.000+00:00","dateModified":"2023-01-26T19:36:59Z","url":"https://hbr.org/2014/01/find-the-coaching-in-criticism","isAccessibleForFree":false,"publisher":{"name":"Harvard Business Review","url":"https://hbr.org/"},"author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Sheila Heen"},{"@type":"Person","name":"Douglas Stone"}]}</script><link rel="preload" href="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/css/8269b3cc823d35cf.css" as="style"/><link rel="stylesheet" href="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/css/8269b3cc823d35cf.css" data-n-g=""/><link rel="preload" href="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/css/3dd34cd4baa187bb.css" as="style"/><link rel="stylesheet" href="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/css/3dd34cd4baa187bb.css" data-n-p=""/><noscript data-n-css=""></noscript><script 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The authors, who have spent 20 years working with managers on difficult conversations, outline six steps that can help you turn feedback into an important, and unthreatening, tool.</span> <span class="Summary_summary-text__eMqXD"><em>Know your tendencies.</em> Look for patterns in how you respond. (Do you defend yourself? Do you lash out?) Once you understand your standard operating procedure, you can make better choices about where to go from there.</span> <span class="Summary_summary-text__eMqXD"><em>Separate the “what” from the “who.”</em> Your feelings about the messenger might be short-circuiting your ability to learn from the message.</span> <span class="Summary_summary-text__eMqXD"><em>Sort toward coaching.</em> Work to hear feedback as well-meant advice, not as an indictment.</span> <span class="Summary_summary-text__eMqXD"><em>Unpack the feedback.</em> Resist snap judgments; explore where suggestions are coming from and where they’re going.</span> <span class="Summary_summary-text__eMqXD"><em>Request and direct feedback.</em> Don’t wait for a formal review; ask for bite-size pieces of coaching.</span> <span class="Summary_summary-text__eMqXD"><em>Experiment.</em> Try following a piece of advice and seeing what happens.</span> <span class="Summary_summary-text__eMqXD">Criticism is never easy to take—but learning to pull value from it is essential to your development and success.</span></span></section><div class="TranslateMessage_translate-message__iUF3m"><a class="Anchor-module_anchor__uhpem TranslateMessage_link__KubhN TranslateMessage_translate__mUd5F" href="/2014/01/find-the-coaching-in-criticism?language=es" data-analytics="lang-es">Leer en español</a><a class="Anchor-module_anchor__uhpem TranslateMessage_link__KubhN TranslateMessage_translate__mUd5F" href="/2014/01/find-the-coaching-in-criticism?language=pt" data-analytics="lang-pt">Ler em português</a></div></div><div class="Standard_left-rail__qnsPO"><ul class="PageUtils_container-left__whOYQ PageUtils_standard__FTgtj"><li class="PageUtils_list-item__HK3pt PageUtils_vertical__SqN7k"><a class="PageUtils_item-button__UHILB" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?&original_referer=&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&related=twitterapi%2Ctwitter&tw_p=tweetbutton&url=" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-analytics="share-on-x"><img src="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/media/Twitter.7ac71c2c.svg" aria-hidden="true" alt="" width="24" height="24"/><span class="PageUtils_utility-name__y5qBD PageUtils_standard__FTgtj">Post</span></a></li><li class="PageUtils_list-item__HK3pt PageUtils_vertical__SqN7k"><button class="PageUtils_item-button__UHILB" type="button" data-analytics="share-on-facebook"><img src="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/media/Facebook.f94faecd.svg" aria-hidden="true" alt="" width="24" height="24"/><span class="PageUtils_utility-name__y5qBD PageUtils_standard__FTgtj">Post</span></button></li><li class="PageUtils_list-item__HK3pt PageUtils_vertical__SqN7k"><button class="PageUtils_item-button__UHILB" type="button" data-analytics="share-on-linkedin"><img src="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/media/LinkedIn.c9a4114a.svg" aria-hidden="true" alt="" width="24" height="24"/><span class="PageUtils_utility-name__y5qBD PageUtils_standard__FTgtj">Share</span></button></li><li class="PageUtils_list-item__HK3pt PageUtils_vertical__SqN7k"><button class="PageUtils_item-button__UHILB" type="button" data-analytics="open-save-flyout"><img src="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/media/Save.635e3a71.svg" aria-hidden="true" alt="" width="24" height="24"/><span class="PageUtils_utility-name__y5qBD PageUtils_standard__FTgtj">Save</span></button></li><li class="PageUtils_list-item__HK3pt PageUtils_vertical__SqN7k PageUtils_standard__FTgtj"><a class="Anchor-module_anchor__uhpem PageUtils_item-button__UHILB" href="/product/find-the-coaching-in-criticism/R1401K-PDF-ENG" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank" data-analytics="buy-reprint-link"><img src="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/media/BuyCopy.088ae0cd.svg" aria-hidden="true" alt="" width="24" height="24"/><span class="PageUtils_utility-name__y5qBD PageUtils_standard__FTgtj">Buy Copies</span></a></li><li class="PageUtils_list-item__HK3pt PageUtils_vertical__SqN7k PageUtils_standard__FTgtj"><button class="PageUtils_item-button__UHILB" type="button" data-analytics="print-article"><img src="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/media/Print.61d005bb.svg" aria-hidden="true" alt="" width="24" height="24"/><span class="PageUtils_utility-name__y5qBD PageUtils_standard__FTgtj">Print</span></button></li></ul></div><div class="Standard_content__mghDk"><p class="Paragraph_text__yGFNO" data-first-paragraph="true">Feedback is crucial. That’s obvious: It improves performance, develops talent, aligns expectations, solves problems, guides promotion and pay, and boosts the bottom line.</p></div><div class="Standard_right-rail__tTaUI"><div class="Standard_right-rail-content__Y1Qwu"><div data-testid="ad-container"><div data-testid="ad" id="right-ad" class=""></div></div><div class="right-rail-piano-container advertising PianoAd_ad__m1O2b" data-testid="piano-ad-container"></div><div class="ecommerce-module"><div data-analytics="placement-right_rail3" data-testid="container"></div><div class="RelatedTopics_container__2Nkb4 RelatedTopics_standard__UaUNv"><span class="RelatedTopics_related-topics__zEjID RelatedTopics_standard__UaUNv">Read more on<!-- --> <a href="/topic/subject/difficult-conversations?ab=articlepage-topic" class="RelatedTopics_topic-link__u_bsi"><strong>Difficult conversations</strong></a> or related topics <a href="/topic/subject/managing-yourself?ab=articlepage-topic" class="RelatedTopics_topic-link__u_bsi"><strong>Managing yourself</strong></a>, <a href="/topic/subject/employee-performance-management?ab=articlepage-topic" class="RelatedTopics_topic-link__u_bsi"><strong>Employee performance management</strong></a> and <a href="/topic/subject/receiving-feedback?ab=articlepage-topic" class="RelatedTopics_topic-link__u_bsi"><strong>Receiving feedback</strong></a></span></div></div></div></div><div class="Standard_author__Ke782"><div class="PublicationDate_bottom-magazine-date-container__8lgoi"><span class="PublicationDate_bottom-magazine-date__JyTxT">A version of this article appeared in the <a class="Anchor-module_anchor__uhpem PublicationDate_bottom-magazine-date-anchor__iCH_p" href="/archive-toc/BR1401">January–February 2014</a> issue of <em>Harvard Business Review.</em></span></div><div data-analytics="end-of-article" data-testid="container"></div><aside class="AuthorBioList_container__qBo_1 AuthorBioList_standard__9lH5w"><div class="AuthorBio_author-info-item__0G_0z AuthorBio_standard___hh_q"><div class="AuthorBio_image-container___c3yQ"><div class="AuthorBio_author-picture__2ElG9">SH</div></div><div class="AuthorBio_author-bio-container__u5vHF"><a class="AuthorBio_author-name__VPl47" href="/search?term=Sheila%20Heen&amp;search_type=search-all">Sheila Heen<!-- --> </a><span class="AuthorBio_biography__CPmNZ"> teaches negotiation at Harvard Law School and is a Principal at <a href="http://www.triadconsultinggroup.com" class="ContentLink_anchor__Q6_U6">Triad Consulting Group</a>. She is a coauthor of the <em>New York Times </em>bestsellers <em>Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It Is Off-Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and Frankly You’re Not in the Mood)</em> with Douglas Stone, and of <em>Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most </em>with Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton.</span></div></div><div class="AuthorBio_author-info-item__0G_0z AuthorBio_standard___hh_q"><div class="AuthorBio_image-container___c3yQ"><div class="AuthorBio_author-picture__2ElG9">DS</div></div><div class="AuthorBio_author-bio-container__u5vHF"><a class="AuthorBio_author-name__VPl47" href="/search?term=Douglas%20Stone&amp;search_type=search-all">Douglas Stone<!-- --> </a><span class="AuthorBio_biography__CPmNZ"> are cofounders of Triad Consulting Group and teach negotiation at Harvard Law School. They are the coauthors of the forthcoming book <span class="mediatitle">Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well</span> (Viking/Penguin, 2014), from which this article is adapted.</span></div></div></aside></div><div class="Standard_bottom-utils__JNmpq"><ul class="PageUtils_container-bottom__NBym_ PageUtils_standard__FTgtj"><li class="PageUtils_list-item__HK3pt"><a class="PageUtils_item-button__UHILB" href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?&original_referer=&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&related=twitterapi%2Ctwitter&tw_p=tweetbutton&url=" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-analytics="share-on-x"><img src="/assets-mfe-articles/_next/static/media/Twitter.7ac71c2c.svg" aria-hidden="true" alt="" width="24" height="24"/><span class="PageUtils_utility-name__y5qBD PageUtils_standard__FTgtj">Post</span></a></li><li class="PageUtils_list-item__HK3pt"><button class="PageUtils_item-button__UHILB" type="button" data-analytics="share-on-facebook"><img 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Harvard Business Publishing is an affiliate of Harvard Business School.</p></div></div></div></footer></div><script id="__NEXT_DATA__" type="application/json">{"props":{"pageProps":{"profile":{"guid":"5a2cd38663e54ad81bbc9d14c575738d","firstName":"Guest","lastName":"User","displayName":"Guest User","accountLocked":false,"emailAddress":"anonymousUser","loggedIn":false,"lastVisitDate":"2024-11-27T12:21:43.614+00:00","linkedAccounts":[],"jobTitle":"","companySize":"","industry":"","folders":[],"newsletters":[],"marketingCampaigns":[],"topics":[],"subscriptions":[],"isGdprDeleted":false,"tiers":[],"pianoRegistered":false,"state":"Anonymous","status":"Anonymous","username":"ANONYMOUSUSER","customAttributes":[],"quota":{"count":1,"limit":2,"remaining":1,"ascend":false}},"article":{"title":"Find the Coaching in Criticism","type":"standard","tag":"hbr.org,1922-01-01:201401.44192-R1401K","dek":"The right ways to receive feedback","summary":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"reprint\"\u003eReprint: R1401K\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFeedback is crucial\u0026#8212;but almost everyone, from new hires to C-suite executives, struggles with receiving it. The authors, who have spent 20 years working with managers on difficult conversations, outline six steps that can help you turn feedback into an important, and unthreatening, tool.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eKnow your tendencies.\u003c/em\u003e Look for patterns in how you respond. (Do you defend yourself? Do you lash out?) Once you understand your standard operating procedure, you can make better choices about where to go from there.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSeparate the \u0026#8220;what\u0026#8221; from the \u0026#8220;who.\u0026#8221;\u003c/em\u003e Your feelings about the messenger might be short-circuiting your ability to learn from the message.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSort toward coaching.\u003c/em\u003e Work to hear feedback as well-meant advice, not as an indictment.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eUnpack the feedback.\u003c/em\u003e Resist snap judgments; explore where suggestions are coming from and where they\u0026#8217;re going.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eRequest and direct feedback.\u003c/em\u003e Don\u0026#8217;t wait for a formal review; ask for bite-size pieces of coaching.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eExperiment.\u003c/em\u003e Try following a piece of advice and seeing what happens.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCriticism is never easy to take\u0026#8212;but learning to pull value from it is essential to your development and success.\u003c/p\u003e","topics":["Difficult conversations","Managing yourself","Employee performance management","Receiving feedback"],"primaryTopic":"Difficult conversations","content":"\u003cp\u003eFeedback is crucial. That’s obvious: It improves performance, develops talent, aligns expectations, solves problems, guides promotion and pay, and boosts the bottom line.\u003c/p\u003e","authors":[{"name":"Sheila Heen","bio":"Sheila Heen teaches negotiation at Harvard Law School and is a Principal at \u003ca href=\"http://www.triadconsultinggroup.com\"\u003eTriad Consulting Group\u003c/a\u003e.\u0026#160; She is a coauthor of the \u003cem\u003eNew York Times \u003c/em\u003ebestsellers \u003cem\u003eThanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It Is Off-Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and Frankly You\u0026#8217;re Not in the Mood)\u003c/em\u003e with Douglas Stone, and of \u003cem\u003eDifficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most \u003c/em\u003ewith Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton."},{"name":"Douglas Stone","bio":"Douglas Stone are cofounders of Triad Consulting Group and teach negotiation at Harvard Law School. They are the coauthors of the forthcoming book \u003cspan class=\"mediatitle\"\u003eThanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well\u003c/span\u003e (Viking/Penguin, 2014), from which this article is adapted."}],"published":"2014-01-01T05:00:00.000+00:00","issue":{"coverDate":"January–February 2014","issueId":"BR1401","reprintId":"R1401K"},"hasAudio":false,"hasDropCap":true,"paywallEligible":true,"giftedArticle":false,"contentKey":"WCQoZWc9xPvivdkuYCWwAcl8gcMHRII+KUv7fVPwoTJKiyEti05rD7+DE8/LoS4cXxUIyx+gZ7Cnt0Jkq5OzuBCujWTuTNSJo/lkEXLdXMySEv2r74yHGZkWOjjpKuQ5","productLink":"/product/find-the-coaching-in-criticism/R1401K-PDF-ENG","readingList":[{"title":"How to Build Your Resilience","image":"https://hbr.org/resources/images/article_assets/2002/09/JAN15_02_524185647.jpg","curationDate":"2019-01-07","dek":"Recover from the daily grind, professional setbacks, or intense personal trauma.","items":[{"title":"Resilience for the Rest of Us","link":"/2011/04/resilience-for-the-rest-of-us","authors":["Daniel Goleman"],"dek":"Turnbull/Getty Images There are two ways to become more resilient: one by talking to yourself, the other by retraining your brain. If you’ve suffered a major failure, take the sage advice given by psychologist Martin Seligman in the HBR article “Building Resilience.” Talk to yourself. Give yourself a cognitive intervention and counter defeatist thinking with […]","image":{"defaultSrc":"/resources/images/article_assets/2011/04/Apr11_25_551988073-383x215.jpg","sizes":"(min-width: 48em) 55.7291667vw, 97.3924381vw","srcset":"/resources/images/article_assets/2011/04/Apr11_25_551988073-383x215.jpg 383w, /resources/images/article_assets/2011/04/Apr11_25_551988073-300x169.jpg 300w, /resources/images/article_assets/2011/04/Apr11_25_551988073-768x432.jpg 768w, /resources/images/article_assets/2011/04/Apr11_25_551988073-1024x576.jpg 1024w, /resources/images/article_assets/2011/04/Apr11_25_551988073-500x281.jpg 500w, /resources/images/article_assets/2011/04/Apr11_25_551988073-700x394.jpg 700w, /resources/images/article_assets/2011/04/Apr11_25_551988073-850x478.jpg 850w, /resources/images/article_assets/2011/04/Apr11_25_551988073.jpg 1200w"}},{"title":"How to Evaluate, Manage, and Strengthen Your Resilience","link":"/2016/06/how-to-evaluate-manage-and-strengthen-your-resilience","authors":["David Kopans"],"dek":"Use a balance sheet.","image":{"defaultSrc":"/resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/Jun16_14_170943374-383x215.jpg","sizes":"(min-width: 48em) 55.7291667vw, 97.3924381vw","srcset":"/resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/Jun16_14_170943374-383x215.jpg 383w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/Jun16_14_170943374-300x169.jpg 300w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/Jun16_14_170943374-1024x576.jpg 1024w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/Jun16_14_170943374-768x432.jpg 768w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/Jun16_14_170943374-500x281.jpg 500w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/Jun16_14_170943374-700x394.jpg 700w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/Jun16_14_170943374-850x478.jpg 850w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/Jun16_14_170943374.jpg 1200w"}},{"title":"Resilience Is About How You Recharge, Not How You Endure","link":"/2016/06/resilience-is-about-how-you-recharge-not-how-you-endure","authors":["Shawn Achor; Michelle Gielan"],"dek":"Try really hard, and then stop, recover, and repeat.","image":{"defaultSrc":"/resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/jun16-24-611469745-383x215.jpg","sizes":"(min-width: 48em) 55.7291667vw, 97.3924381vw","srcset":"/resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/jun16-24-611469745-383x215.jpg 383w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/jun16-24-611469745-300x169.jpg 300w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/jun16-24-611469745-1024x576.jpg 1024w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/jun16-24-611469745-500x281.jpg 500w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/jun16-24-611469745-700x394.jpg 700w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/jun16-24-611469745-850x478.jpg 850w, /resources/images/article_assets/2016/06/jun16-24-611469745.jpg 1200w"}},{"title":"Find the Coaching in Criticism","link":"/2014/01/find-the-coaching-in-criticism","authors":["Sheila Heen; Douglas Stone"],"dek":"The right ways to receive feedback","image":{"defaultSrc":"/resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-383x215.jpg","sizes":"(min-width: 48em) 55.7291667vw, 97.3924381vw","srcset":"/resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-383x215.jpg 383w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-300x169.jpg 300w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-768x432.jpg 768w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-1024x576.jpg 1024w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-500x281.jpg 500w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-700x394.jpg 700w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111-850x478.jpg 850w, /resources/images/article_assets/2014/01/Jan14_01_-530654111.jpg 1200w"}},{"title":"Firing Back: How Great Leaders Rebound After Career Disasters","link":"/2007/01/firing-back-how-great-leaders-rebound-after-career-disasters","authors":["Jeffrey A. Sonnenfeld; Andrew J. Ward"],"dek":"The leader’s fall from “Who’s Who” to “Who’s that?” is full of stigma and shame. But the story doesn’t have to end there.","image":{"defaultSrc":"/resources/images/article_assets/2007/01/Jan07_01_89770986-383x215.jpg","sizes":"(min-width: 48em) 55.7291667vw, 97.3924381vw","srcset":"/resources/images/article_assets/2007/01/Jan07_01_89770986-383x215.jpg 383w, /resources/images/article_assets/2007/01/Jan07_01_89770986-300x169.jpg 300w, /resources/images/article_assets/2007/01/Jan07_01_89770986-768x432.jpg 768w, /resources/images/article_assets/2007/01/Jan07_01_89770986-1024x576.jpg 1024w, /resources/images/article_assets/2007/01/Jan07_01_89770986-500x281.jpg 500w, /resources/images/article_assets/2007/01/Jan07_01_89770986-700x394.jpg 700w, /resources/images/article_assets/2007/01/Jan07_01_89770986-850x478.jpg 850w, /resources/images/article_assets/2007/01/Jan07_01_89770986.jpg 1200w"}},{"title":"Crucibles of Leadership","link":"/2002/09/crucibles-of-leadership","authors":["Warren Bennis; Robert J. Thomas"],"dek":"Everyone is tested by life, but only a few extract strength and wisdom from their most trying experiences. 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The authors, who have spent 20 years working with managers on difficult conversations, outline six steps that can help you turn feedback into an important, and unthreatening, tool. Know your tendencies. Look for patterns in how you respond. (Do you defend yourself? Do you lash out?) Once you understand your standard operating procedure, you can make better choices about where to go from there. Separate the “what” from the “who.” Your feelings about the messenger might be short-circuiting your ability to learn from the message. Sort toward coaching. Work to hear feedback as well-meant advice, not as an indictment. Unpack the feedback. Resist snap judgments; explore where suggestions are coming from and where they’re going. Request and direct feedback. Don’t wait for a formal review; ask for bite-size pieces of coaching. Experiment. Try following a piece of advice and seeing what happens. 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