如何成为一个说话大家都想听并且只想和你做朋友的人

<!DOCTYPE html> <html lang="zh-CN"> <head> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="renderer" content="webkit"> <meta name="referrer" content="always"> <meta name="google-site-verification" content="ok0wCgT20tBBgo9_zat2iAcimtN4Ftf5ccsh092Xeyw" /> <title> 如何成为一个说话大家都想听并且只想和你做朋友的人 </title> <meta http-equiv="Pragma" content="no-cache"> <meta http-equiv="Expires" content="Sun, 6 Mar 2005 01:00:00 GMT"> <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0, maximum-scale=1.0"> <meta http-equiv="Cache-Control" content="no-siteapp" /> <meta name="mobile-agent" content="format=html5; url=https://m.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/"> <script >var _head_start = new Date();</script> <script src="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/shire/72ced6df41d4d158420cebdd254f9562942464e3/js/jquery.min.js"></script> <script src="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/shire/4888ee2fda6812f70a064a51c93b84fde8e4a3c2/js/douban.js"></script> <link href="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/shire/204847ecc7d679de915c283531d14f16cfbee65e/css/douban.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"> <style type="text/css"> .ad-topic-lable { height: 20px; font-size: 14px; color: #9B9B9B; margin-bottom: 10px; } .ad-topic-lable .lable-vl { margin-right: 4px; height: 16px; width: 2px; } .infobox .bd { border-width: 1px; } .group-link, .group-link:link, .group-link:visited { color: #666666; } .group-link:hover { background: #666666; color: #FFFFFF; } .article { background: url('/group/topic/background.png'); } </style> <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/e8a7261937da62636d22ca4c579efc4a4d759b1b/css/ui/dialog.css" /> <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://img3.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/group-topic/page/group/index.a3b1a.css" /> <script type="application/ld+json"> { "@context": "http://schema.org", "@type": "Conversation", "text": "以人为镜，可以正衣冠。看到很多人讨论偏了，在此说明一下，这种方法的对象也要筛选，不是要用到所有人身上，而且这个发现非常宝贵，我用了多年，相信有聪明人看到一下子就知道这个方法有多么重要，现实世界里，很多聪明人掌握了这个技巧，他们创造了财富，制造了权力，甚至有人发动了战争，可能下文表述太过生活化，但是我相信道理已经讲清楚了，如果把这个技巧用在媒体上，用在下对上，用在想拉拢的人身上，用在一些动员场合，这个就是工具。先上干货，然后讲为什么。想要和人良好的交流，成为喜欢的朋友的很要好的朋友，甚至让生活更加有趣，大大提升幸福感本质做法： 1多观察人，保持对人的好奇心 2将自己生活上的发现用有趣的方式表达出来，或者将生活中有趣的事物表达出来（这是两件事，有时候二者是一件事）就这么简单多年前，楼主是一个很喜欢分享生活的人，但是经常被误会成炫耀或者明显感觉对方不感兴趣，一直以为是对方误会了或者没有找到合适的圈子。直到前些日子，遇到了同样喜欢分享的同事，我一开始一直以为对方在炫耀自己的生活，因为她比较愿意花钱也有点小钱，喜欢小资生活，后来次数多了之后，慢慢意识到对方根本不是在炫耀，就是在向我分享自己的生活，在这个过程中我的内心一直很煎熬，我剖析自己可能是因为忮跽，但是我总认为人是不会这么容易忮跽人的，我又反问了自己是不是因为感觉对方在炫耀感觉不舒服，我觉得是，我是对炫耀有了情绪，但是不是说对方真的在炫耀，那么我为什么不能好好的回应，并且和对方一起开心呢？我陷入了沉思，很想知道怎么回事。。我突然回想多年前遇到的同样的事情，只不过角色反转，人生就是这么奇妙，我反思了一下为什么，得出了结论。。 “人是不会真的为感情不到位的人的开心而开心的，更不会为了与自己毫不相干的事情感兴趣，人只会为有趣的事情开心” 小时候我和同学朋友分享我的日常，对方不感兴趣或者觉得在炫耀——————本质上是我的讲的事物和对方无关并且不在对方的兴趣点上，或者讲事物的方式不够有趣。但凡达到了两者中的其一，这个分享就是成功的。同事的强行输出分享她的事物，我不感兴趣或者觉得在炫耀—————————本质上是她的事情和我无关也不是我的兴趣内容，并且没有用有趣的方式讲出来。那么这个分享也不是成功的。两个人又或者一对多的分享或交流、是不能只有其中一个人开心或者舒服的，需要让两个人都对对话有兴趣。现实中很多类似例子，网友更喜欢会分享的人，但是分享一定要用有趣的方式，或者能让自己情绪波动的方式，可以炫耀但是一定要人看的人也快乐，这种快乐可以是通过搞笑段子，也可以通过幽默的表述，还有很多很多方式五花八门，但它们无一例外都有共同点。", "name": "如何成为一个说话大家都想听并且只想和你做朋友的人", "url": "https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4", "commentCount": "66", "dateCreated": "2025-03-15T23:18:50", "interactionStatistic": { "@type": "InteractionCounter", "interactionType": "http://schema.org/LikeAction", "userInteractionCount": 150 } } </script> <link href="https://img1.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/group/back_top.1d350.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"> <link href="https://img1.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/group/guide_reg.4866d.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"> <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://img1.doubanio.com/misc/mixed_static/245bb6df9b7cd586.css"> <script></script> <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://img3.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/group/init.089a7.css"> <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/75ba35fadc87ea9d052896f99e9de067746f9788/css/core/large.css"> <link rel="shortcut icon" href="https://img1.doubanio.com/favicon.ico" type="image/x-icon"> </head> <body> <script type="text/javascript">var _body_start = new Date();</script> <link href="//img3.doubanio.com/dae/accounts/resources/851ead1/shire/bundle.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"> <div id="db-global-nav" class="global-nav"> <div class="bd"> <div class="top-nav-info"> <a href="https://accounts.douban.com/passport/login?source=group" class="nav-login" rel="nofollow">登录/注册</a> </div> <div class="top-nav-doubanapp"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/doubanapp/app?channel=top-nav" class="lnk-doubanapp">下载豆瓣客户端</a> <div id="doubanapp-tip"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/doubanapp/app?channel=qipao" class="tip-link">豆瓣 <span class="version">6.0</span> 全新发布</a> <a href="javascript: void 0;" class="tip-close">×</a> </div> <div id="top-nav-appintro" class="more-items"> <p class="appintro-title">豆瓣</p> <p class="qrcode">扫码直接下载</p> <div class="download"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/doubanapp/redirect?channel=top-nav&direct_dl=1&download=iOS">iPhone</a> <span>·</span> <a href="https://www.douban.com/doubanapp/redirect?channel=top-nav&direct_dl=1&download=Android" class="download-android">Android</a> </div> </div> </div> <div class="global-nav-items"> <ul> <li class=""> <a href="https://www.douban.com" target="_blank" data-moreurl-dict="{"from":"top-nav-click-main","uid":"0"}">豆瓣</a> </li> <li class=""> <a href="https://book.douban.com" target="_blank" data-moreurl-dict="{"from":"top-nav-click-book","uid":"0"}">读书</a> </li> <li class=""> <a href="https://movie.douban.com" target="_blank" data-moreurl-dict="{"from":"top-nav-click-movie","uid":"0"}">电影</a> </li> <li class=""> <a href="https://music.douban.com" target="_blank" data-moreurl-dict="{"from":"top-nav-click-music","uid":"0"}">音乐</a> </li> <li class=""> <a href="https://www.douban.com/location" target="_blank" data-moreurl-dict="{"from":"top-nav-click-location","uid":"0"}">同城</a> </li> <li class="on"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group" data-moreurl-dict="{"from":"top-nav-click-group","uid":"0"}">小组</a> </li> <li class=""> <a href="https://read.douban.com/?dcs=top-nav&dcm=douban" target="_blank" data-moreurl-dict="{"from":"top-nav-click-read","uid":"0"}">阅读</a> </li> <li class=""> <a href="https://fm.douban.com/?from_=shire_top_nav" target="_blank" data-moreurl-dict="{"from":"top-nav-click-fm","uid":"0"}">FM</a> </li> <li class=""> <a href="https://time.douban.com/?dt_time_source=douban-web_top_nav" target="_blank" data-moreurl-dict="{"from":"top-nav-click-time","uid":"0"}">时间</a> </li> <li class=""> <a href="https://market.douban.com/?utm_campaign=douban_top_nav&utm_source=douban&utm_medium=pc_web" target="_blank" data-moreurl-dict="{"from":"top-nav-click-market","uid":"0"}">豆品</a> </li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> <script> ;window._GLOBAL_NAV = { DOUBAN_URL: "https://www.douban.com", N_NEW_NOTIS: 0, N_NEW_DOUMAIL: 0 }; </script> <script src="//img3.doubanio.com/dae/accounts/resources/851ead1/shire/bundle.js" defer="defer"></script> <div id="db-nav-group" class="nav"> <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/shire/e058928aa925da8352ac2bd0033de230b976fff0/css/nav/base.css"> <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/shire/6e06c8a68fbae26c9457a01270b096f9950afe61/css/nav/group.css"> <div class="nav-wrap"> <div class="nav-primary clearfix"> <div class="nav-logo"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/">豆瓣小组</a> </div> <div class="nav-items"> <ul> <li><a href="https://www.douban.com/group/explore">讨论精选</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.douban.com/group/explore/hot_groups">热门小组</a></li> </ul> </div> <div class="nav-search"> <form id='form' action="https://www.douban.com/group/search" method="get"> <fieldset> <legend>搜索：</legend> <input type="hidden" name="cat" value="1019" /> <div class="inp"> <input id="inp-query" name="q" size="22" placeholder="小组、讨论" maxlength="60" value=""></div> <div class="inp-btn"><input type="submit" value="搜索"></div> </fieldset> </form> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div id="wrapper"> <div id="content"> <div class="grid-16-8 clearfix"> <div class="article"> <script> window._CONFIG = window._CONFIG || {}; window._CONFIG.loginUser = null; window._CONFIG.group = { id: "705099", is_member: "False" === "True", member_role: 1000, title: "我发现个规律", name: "我发现个规律", title: "我发现个规律", join_type: "R" }; window._CONFIG.topic = { 'id': '321307343', 'event_finish_time': 'None', 'title': '如何成为一个说话大家都想听并且只想和你做朋友的人', 'photos': [], 'video_info': null, image_layout: "vertical", }; </script> <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://img2.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/group-topic/runtime/index.8c171.css"> <h1> 社会规律｜如何成为一个说话大家都想听并且只想和你做朋友的人 <div class="event-labels"> </div> </h1>  <input type="hidden" id="start" value="0" /> <div class="topic-content clearfix" id="topic-content"> <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="topic-doc"> <h3> <span class="from">来自: <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/">Hhhhh</a></span> <div class="topic-meta"> <span class="create-time color-green">2025-03-15 23:18:50</span> <span class="update-time">已编辑</span> <span class="ip-location">广东</span> </div> </h3>   <div id="link-report" class=""> <div class="topic-content"> <div class="rich-content topic-richtext"> <p data-align="left">以人为镜，可以正衣冠。看到很多人讨论偏了，在此说明一下，这种方法的对象也要筛选，不是要用到所有人身上，而且这个发现非常宝贵，我用了多年，相信有聪明人看到一下子就知道这个方法有多么重要，现实世界里，很多聪明人掌握了这个技巧，他们创造了财富，制造了权力，甚至有人发动了战争，可能下文表述太过生活化，但是我相信道理已经讲清楚了，如果把这个技巧用在媒体上，用在下对上，用在想拉拢的人身上，用在一些动员场合，这个就是工具。先上干货，然后讲为什么。想要和人良好的交流，成为喜欢的朋友的很要好的朋友，甚至让生活更加有趣，大大提升幸福感本质做法： 1多观察人，保持对人的好奇心 2将自己生活上的发现用有趣的方式表达出来，或者将生活中有趣的事物表达出来（这是两件事，有时候二者是一件事）就这么简单多年前，楼主是一个很喜欢分享生活的人，但是经常被误会成炫耀或者明显感觉对方不感兴趣，一直以为是对方误会了或者没有找到合适的圈子。直到前些日子，遇到了同样喜欢分享的同事，我一开始一直以为对方在炫耀自己的生活，因为她比较愿意花钱也有点小钱，喜欢小资生活，后来次数多了之后，慢慢意识到对方根本不是在炫耀，就是在向我分享自己的生活，在这个过程中我的内心一直很煎熬，我剖析自己可能是因为忮跽，但是我总认为人是不会这么容易忮跽人的，我又反问了自己是不是因为感觉对方在炫耀感觉不舒服，我觉得是，我是对炫耀有了情绪，但是不是说对方真的在炫耀，那么我为什么不能好好的回应，并且和对方一起开心呢？我陷入了沉思，很想知道怎么回事。。我突然回想多年前遇到的同样的事情，只不过角色反转，人生就是这么奇妙，我反思了一下为什么，得出了结论。。 “人是不会真的为感情不到位的人的开心而开心的，更不会为了与自己毫不相干的事情感兴趣，人只会为有趣的事情开心” 小时候我和同学朋友分享我的日常，对方不感兴趣或者觉得在炫耀——————本质上是我的讲的事物和对方无关并且不在对方的兴趣点上，或者讲事物的方式不够有趣。但凡达到了两者中的其一，这个分享就是成功的。同事的强行输出分享她的事物，我不感兴趣或者觉得在炫耀—————————本质上是她的事情和我无关也不是我的兴趣内容，并且没有用有趣的方式讲出来。那么这个分享也不是成功的。两个人又或者一对多的分享或交流、是不能只有其中一个人开心或者舒服的，需要让两个人都对对话有兴趣。现实中很多类似例子，网友更喜欢会分享的人，但是分享一定要用有趣的方式，或者能让自己情绪波动的方式，可以炫耀但是一定要人看的人也快乐，这种快乐可以是通过搞笑段子，也可以通过幽默的表述，还有很多很多方式五花八门，但它们无一例外都有共同点。</p> </div> <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/adb76aa43ac2ddd228cea765105e8bdb901b9ca1/css/doulist/tooltip.css" /> <script src="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/3af8769f69ef028cb635223bad45ce1c3503366f/js/doulist/tooltip.js"></script> <script> $(function () { addTooltipToDoulistBtn('#link-report .topic-content a'); }) </script> </div> </div> <div class="interest-tags"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/search?q=%23%E6%B2%BB%E6%84%88%E5%BF%83%E6%83%85%23" class="interest-tag">#治愈心情#</a> </div> <script src="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/bd6325a12f40c34cbf2668aafafb4ccd60deab7e/vendors.js"></script> <script src="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/6242a400cfd25992da35ace060e58f160efc9c50/shared_rc.js"></script> <script src="https://img3.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/group-topic/runtime/index.60c9f.js"></script>  <div id="link-report_group"> </div> </div> <div class="sns-bar" id="sep"> <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/d1cc110453f0f4c218b9c586b80ba3f8c023072f/css/actions/react_btn.css"> <div class="action-react"> <a class="react-btn react-like j a_show_login" href="https://www.douban.com/accounts/register?reason=like">赞</a> </div> <script src="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/6fee049f724677ce800e07b81dd156d43d6fec9c/js/actions/react_btn.js"></script> <script> (function(){ window.collect_target = { tkind: "1013", tid: "321307343" } window.update_collect_state = function(collected){ var ele = document.querySelector('.lnk-doulist-add'); var old_num = parseInt(ele.querySelector('.react-num').textContent); ele.className = 'lnk-doulist-add'; if(collected){ ele.className += ' collect-cancel'; ele.querySelector('.react-text').textContent = '已收藏'; ele.querySelector('.react-num').textContent = isNaN(old_num) ? 1 : old_num + 1; }else{ ele.className += ' collect-add'; ele.querySelector('.react-text').textContent = '收藏'; ele.querySelector('.react-num').textContent = isNaN(old_num) ? "" : old_num - 1 === 0 ? "" : old_num - 1; } } })(); </script> <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/e8a7261937da62636d22ca4c579efc4a4d759b1b/css/ui/dialog.css"> <script src="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/3f6bfbf287470b91aacba40f0b19cb2056910f2e/js/core/do/loader.js"></script> <script src="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/f25ae221544f39046484a823776f3aa01769ee10/js/ui/dialog.js"></script> <script> Do(function() { loader.batch([ 'https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/c9ec72017e551cf6dd9ea9a6b7610d579c4dbf91/js/sns/doulist_dialog.js' ]).done(function() { $(document).delegate('.lnk-doulist-add', 'click', function(e) { e.preventDefault(); if(window._USER_ABNORMAL) { show_abnormal && show_abnormal() return } var self = $(this); var param = $.extend({'url':''}, $(this).data(), {link: this.href}); // 兼容jquery 1.8.x var newParam = {}; for (var key in param) { if (typeof param[key] === 'number') { param[key] = self.attr('data-'+key); } if (param.hasOwnProperty(key)) { newParam[$.camelCase(key)] = param[key]; } } self.doulistDialog(newParam); }); }); }); </script> </div> </div> <div id="dale_group_topic_banner_after_content"></div> <div class="dialog_join_group"> <span class="join_group_close">×</span> <div class="join_group_desc">加入小组后即可参加投票</div> <a href="javascript:;" class="join_group_cancel j a_show_login">确定</a> </div> <div class="tabs" id='sep'> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4#sep" class=on>回复</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&type=rec#sep" >转发</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&type=like#sep" >赞</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&type=collect#sep" >收藏</a> <span style="float:right"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&author=1#sep">只看楼主</a> </span> </div> <ul class="topic-reply" id="comments"> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928135856" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5928135856" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-15 23:35:30 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>dd</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928135856" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928135856" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928135856"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928135856#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928138875" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5928138875" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-15 23:37:50 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>dd</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928138875" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928138875" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928138875"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928138875#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928152879" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5928152879" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-15 23:48:49 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>dd</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928152879" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928152879" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928152879"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (2)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928152879#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928198941" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5928198941" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 00:26:04 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>大家也留个言鼓励一下楼主吧～我才能有更好的内容分享🥳</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928198941" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928198941" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928198941"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928198941#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928199338" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5928199338" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 00:26:25 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>三个收藏喽</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928199338" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928199338" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928199338"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928199338#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928200442" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="240175754" data-cid="5928200442" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/240175754/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up240175754-33.jpg" alt="再看我一眼试试"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/240175754/" class="">再看我一眼试试</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 00:27:24 福建</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>dd</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="240175754"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928200442" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除再看我一眼试试的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928200442" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928200442"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (1)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928200442#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928214009" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="231927018" data-cid="5928214009" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/231927018/"><img class="pil" src="https://img2.doubanio.com/icon/up231927018-1.jpg" alt="Amanda"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/231927018/" class="">Amanda</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 00:39:42 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>同感也在研究怎么讲故事怎么有趣些</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="231927018"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928214009" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Amanda的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928214009" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928214009"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928214009#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928262681" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5928262681" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 01:36:18 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>111</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928262681" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928262681" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928262681"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928262681#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928332672" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="133192614" data-cid="5928332672" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/133192614/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up133192614-4.jpg" alt="牛奶包"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/133192614/" class="">牛奶包</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 07:57:11 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>第一点说的挺好的，学习了</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="133192614"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928332672" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除牛奶包的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928332672" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928332672"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928332672#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928383592" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="243237504" data-cid="5928383592" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/243237504/"><img class="pil" src="https://img2.doubanio.com/icon/up243237504-21.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/243237504/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 10:16:17 河北</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>我朋友圈只要分享生活就会有很多人点赞，其实我觉得不频繁的发自己的自拍都可以，而且发文的视角可以掺杂一些第三视角，这样来讨论的人会很多。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="243237504"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928383592" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928383592" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928383592"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (19)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928383592#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928389987" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="174304008" data-cid="5928389987" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/"><img class="pil" src="https://img2.doubanio.com/icon/up174304008-1.jpg" alt="泊松"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/" class="">泊松</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 10:27:11 上海</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>不要有这个想法，我以前有这个想法，结果在别人那里我就是个可以占便宜的傻子，你表现出这种特质，只会吸引想要剥削你的人</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="174304008"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928389987" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除泊松的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928389987" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928389987"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (47)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928389987#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928418080" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5928418080" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 11:11:47 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>其实不一定要用到普通朋友这里，也可以用到想用的人身上。这个发现很宝贵，我用了好多年才搞懂，是不是成为免费的傻子要看对象，会筛选人，你就会遇到很多和你一样有趣的人。这个方法很多人用来赚钱，不一定用来交朋友。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928418080" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928418080" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928418080"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (8)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928418080#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928419030" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5928419030" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 11:13:08 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>朋友，语言的魔力不止于此，情绪固然重要，但是语言是工具，拥有了工具可以做想做的事，这个世界上，拥有这个工具的人创造了财富，权力。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928419030" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928419030" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928419030"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (5)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928419030#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928419048" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="49562299" data-cid="5928419048" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/49562299/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up49562299-8.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/49562299/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 11:13:10 黑龙江</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>我的做法是关注对方的情绪和行为，不那么在意对方的语言和内心想法。内心想法如果懂心理学就知道有很多层次的，埋在深层次的，本人都未必知道，外人去挖掘什么啊，以自己的成长环境和心理揣测人，永远都活在自己狭隘的认知里。这种推测与其说是了解他人，不如说是了解自己。语言是很容易造假的，口不应心的情况可太多了，参考价值很低的。关注行为是，一个人的行为是客观的结果，不管他内心深处想法如何，行为上有连贯一致性，所以要预测行为会简单很多。关注情绪是，语言会有造假歧义，行为有滞后性，情绪往往是自发的，即时反馈的，就算是压抑或者隐藏情绪也能感受到压抑或者隐藏情绪。关注情绪就是所谓的用心看人，这是个天赋，当然心理咨询专业训练也能提高这个能力。根据情绪的及时反馈来调整社交策略，是最迅速的，也是最能获得即时反馈效果的。</p> <p>最后以上，如果想成为多数人都喜欢听自己说话的人，就不要希望别人“只想和自己做朋友”，友情又不是爱情，这么强的独占欲，是留不下来正常的人际关系的，而愿意忍受畸形人际关系的人，永远是少数。 “都想听”也不现实，这个世界上，希望拥有任何绝对化的东西都无法实现，世界是动态的，人生是变化的，拥抱变化，才能拥有稳定的内心世界。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="49562299"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928419048" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928419048" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928419048"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (28)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928419048#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928419280" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5928419280" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 11:13:29 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="174304008" data-ref-cid="5928389987" > <span class="short ref-content">不要有这个想法，我以前有这个想法，结果在别人那里我就是个可以占便宜的傻子，你表现出这种特质</span> <span class="all ref-content">不要有这个想法，我以前有这个想法，结果在别人那里我就是个可以占便宜的傻子，你表现出这种特质，只会吸引想要剥削你的人</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/">泊松</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>筛选对象</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928419280" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928419280" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928419280"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928419280#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928456899" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5928456899" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 12:01:50 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="49562299" data-ref-cid="5928419048" > <span class="short ref-content">我的做法是关注对方的情绪和行为，不那么在意对方的语言和内心想法。内心想法如果懂心理学就知</span> <span class="all ref-content">我的做法是关注对方的情绪和行为，不那么在意对方的语言和内心想法。内心想法如果懂心理学就知道有很多层次的，埋在深层次的，本人都未必知道，外人去挖掘什么啊，以自己的成长环境和心理揣测人，永远都活在自己狭隘的认知里。这种推测与其说是了解他人，不如说是了解自己。语言是很容易造假的，口不应心的情况可太多了，参考价值很低的。关注行为是，一个人的行为是客观的结果，不管他内心深处想法如何，行为上有连贯一致性，所以要预测行为会简单很多。关注情绪是，语言会有造假歧义，行为有滞后性，情绪往往是自发的，即时反馈的，就算是压抑或者隐藏情绪也能感受到压抑或者隐藏情绪。关注情绪就是所谓的用心看人，这是个天赋，当然心理咨询专业训练也能提高这个能力。根据情绪的及时反馈来调整社交策略，是最迅速的，也是最能获得即时反馈效果的。最后以上，如果想成为多数人都喜欢听自己说话的人，就不要希望别人“只想和自己做朋友”，友情又不是爱情，这么强的独占欲，是留不下来正常的人际关系的，而愿意忍受畸形人际关系的人，永远是少数。 “都想听”也不现实，这个世界上，希望拥有任何绝对化的东西都无法实现，世界是动态的，人生是变化的，拥抱变化，才能拥有稳定的内心世界。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/49562299/">momo</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>不知道这里揣测谁了😅</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928456899" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928456899" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928456899"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928456899#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928482918" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="49562299" data-cid="5928482918" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/49562299/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up49562299-8.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/49562299/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 12:32:17 黑龙江</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="204403998" data-ref-cid="5928456899" > <span class="short ref-content">不知道这里揣测谁了😅</span> <span class="all ref-content">不知道这里揣测谁了😅</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/">Hhhhh</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>关于是否别人内心的想法，我说的是我的做法，和这么做的理由，并没有评价你。最后一段，就标题单纯表面语义拆解，如果不是你的本义，这就是语言的局限性了，毕竟不是见面。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="49562299"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928482918" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928482918" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928482918"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (16)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928482918#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928508282" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="243426812" data-cid="5928508282" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/243426812/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up243426812-2.jpg" alt="Q."/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/243426812/" class="">Q.</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 13:01:32 江苏</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>好贴！学习了！</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="243426812"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928508282" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Q.的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928508282" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928508282"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928508282#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5928740915" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="178918782" data-cid="5928740915" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/onowl/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up178918782-8.jpg" alt="猫头鹰"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/onowl/" class="">猫头鹰</a> (hooooooooot) <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 17:33:49 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="49562299" data-ref-cid="5928419048" > <span class="short ref-content">我的做法是关注对方的情绪和行为，不那么在意对方的语言和内心想法。内心想法如果懂心理学就知</span> <span class="all ref-content">我的做法是关注对方的情绪和行为，不那么在意对方的语言和内心想法。内心想法如果懂心理学就知道有很多层次的，埋在深层次的，本人都未必知道，外人去挖掘什么啊，以自己的成长环境和心理揣测人，永远都活在自己狭隘的认知里。这种推测与其说是了解他人，不如说是了解自己。语言是很容易造假的，口不应心的情况可太多了，参考价值很低的。关注行为是，一个人的行为是客观的结果，不管他内心深处想法如何，行为上有连贯一致性，所以要预测行为会简单很多。关注情绪是，语言会有造假歧义，行为有滞后性，情绪往往是自发的，即时反馈的，就算是压抑或者隐藏情绪也能感受到压抑或者隐藏情绪。关注情绪就是所谓的用心看人，这是个天赋，当然心理咨询专业训练也能提高这个能力。根据情绪的及时反馈来调整社交策略，是最迅速的，也是最能获得即时反馈效果的。最后以上，如果想成为多数人都喜欢听自己说话的人，就不要希望别人“只想和自己做朋友”，友情又不是爱情，这么强的独占欲，是留不下来正常的人际关系的，而愿意忍受畸形人际关系的人，永远是少数。 “都想听”也不现实，这个世界上，希望拥有任何绝对化的东西都无法实现，世界是动态的，人生是变化的，拥抱变化，才能拥有稳定的内心世界。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/49562299/">momo</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>楼主的话对我来说挺有用的。这位momo说的话也同样觉得挺有用的</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="178918782"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5928740915" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除猫头鹰的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5928740915" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5928740915"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (6)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5928740915#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929108299" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="181158147" data-cid="5929108299" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/181158147/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up181158147-12.jpg" alt="你好"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/181158147/" class="">你好</a> (我是离我最近的人) <span class="pubtime">2025-03-16 23:05:29 浙江</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>做个有趣的人</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="181158147"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929108299" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除你好的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929108299" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929108299"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929108299#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929334287" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="153790321" data-cid="5929334287" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/153790321/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up153790321-3.jpg" alt="敏敏"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/153790321/" class="">敏敏</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 08:16:24 北京</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>我现在会觉得分享生活没什么必要了。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="153790321"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929334287" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除敏敏的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929334287" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929334287"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (3)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929334287#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929341110" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="242070537" data-cid="5929341110" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/242070537/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up242070537-2.jpg" alt="粥可温"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/242070537/" class="">粥可温</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 08:33:59 山东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>好有道理，以后要努力实践一下</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="242070537"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929341110" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除粥可温的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929341110" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929341110"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929341110#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929396342" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5929396342" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 10:12:25 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="153790321" data-ref-cid="5929334287" > <span class="short ref-content">我现在会觉得分享生活没什么必要了。</span> <span class="all ref-content">我现在会觉得分享生活没什么必要了。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/153790321/">敏敏</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>当然没必要，无欲无求没有野心，就什么都没必要。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929396342" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929396342" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929396342"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (1)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929396342#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929396817" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5929396817" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 10:13:02 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>强者一直想办法让自己被人利用，弱者很怕自己被人利用。也许这就是强者和弱者的区别</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929396817" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929396817" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929396817"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (2)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929396817#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929411420" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="63152636" data-cid="5929411420" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up63152636-200.jpg" alt="田柏楠"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/" class="">田柏楠</a> (内卷的弟弟肉卷) <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 10:32:07 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="174304008" data-ref-cid="5928389987" > <span class="short ref-content">不要有这个想法，我以前有这个想法，结果在别人那里我就是个可以占便宜的傻子，你表现出这种特质</span> <span class="all ref-content">不要有这个想法，我以前有这个想法，结果在别人那里我就是个可以占便宜的傻子，你表现出这种特质，只会吸引想要剥削你的人</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/">泊松</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>你说的对。我不是讨好型人格，不在乎谁讨厌谁喜欢我。喜欢我我也不一定要理。但是因为共情能力比较强，可以感受到别人状态，有时候很清楚怎样表达可以令对方更积极更快乐，至少不那么压抑难过。何乐而不为呢。因为这个特质被很多人当成最理想的倾诉对象，加上我的专业知识和能力，能为人提供更好的建议。但是这种人其实都非常非常自私，并不是想和我交朋友的就值得我和他们交朋友。珍重的人绝不会是自来熟、一上来就很热情说喜欢你说你对她们有多重要。这种人吸血鬼比例极高，有时候他们自己都意识不到，会觉得你比她强你帮她她夸你，天经地义。更可怕的是知道你比她强，就想拿你当血包的，最好一开始就把这类人过滤掉。后来我总结的经验就是，不搭理自来熟的，谁是刚认识就热情说喜欢我频繁私信“分享”的，我都保持安全距离，在我看来可能是自我内核不太稳定，或是内在频繁所以过于渴求他人的关注和互动认可。自我充实扎实不需要过于依赖外界尤其不依赖于与他人的关系。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="63152636"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929411420" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除田柏楠的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929411420" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929411420"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (7)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929411420#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929425036" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="63152636" data-cid="5929425036" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up63152636-200.jpg" alt="田柏楠"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/" class="">田柏楠</a> (内卷的弟弟肉卷) <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 10:48:37 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>对于让我特别想成为其朋友的那种人，感觉单靠语言表达层面还是很难实现的。见贤思齐，首先是想成为在某个方面同样优秀的人，可能还是要积累点底气才敢去结交。有时候和对方差距很悬殊，就默默等机会，去给人锦上添花是很难被注意到的，有机会能交流时，会倾听比会说重要。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="63152636"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929425036" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除田柏楠的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929425036" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929425036"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (3)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929425036#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929487146" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="156142541" data-cid="5929487146" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/156142541/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up156142541-9.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/156142541/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 11:56:24 英国</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="63152636" data-ref-cid="5929411420" > <span class="short ref-content">你说的对。我不是讨好型人格，不在乎谁讨厌谁喜欢我。喜欢我我也不一定要理。但是因为共情能力比</span> <span class="all ref-content">你说的对。我不是讨好型人格，不在乎谁讨厌谁喜欢我。喜欢我我也不一定要理。但是因为共情能力比较强，可以感受到别人状态，有时候很清楚怎样表达可以令对方更积极更快乐，至少不那么压抑难过。何乐而不为呢。因为这个特质被很多人当成最理想的倾诉对象，加上我的专业知识和能力，能为人提供更好的建议。但是这种人其实都非常非常自私，并不是想和我交朋友的就值得我和他们交朋友。珍重的人绝不会是自来熟、一上来就很热情说喜欢你说你对她们有多重要。这种人吸血鬼比例极高，有时候他们自己都意识不到，会觉得你比她强你帮她她夸你，天经地义。更可怕的是知道你比她强，就想拿你当血包的，最好一开始就把这类人过滤掉。后来我总结的经验就是，不搭理自来熟的，谁是刚认识就热情说喜欢我频繁私信“分享”的，我都保持安全距离，在我看来可能是自我内核不太稳定，或是内在频繁所以过于渴求他人的关注和互动认可。自我充实扎实不需要过于依赖外界尤其不依赖于与他人的关系。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/">田柏楠</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>你说的很好啊，我周围人遇到一上来就很热情的自来熟都爆雷了。不是找血包就是找爆金币的。离开时再反手cpu一下。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="156142541"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929487146" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929487146" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929487146"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (1)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929487146#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929523113" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="63152636" data-cid="5929523113" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up63152636-200.jpg" alt="田柏楠"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/" class="">田柏楠</a> (内卷的弟弟肉卷) <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 12:33:30 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="156142541" data-ref-cid="5929487146" > <span class="short ref-content">你说的很好啊，我周围人遇到一上来就很热情的自来熟都爆雷了。不是找血包就是找爆金币的。离开时</span> <span class="all ref-content">你说的很好啊，我周围人遇到一上来就很热情的自来熟都爆雷了。不是找血包就是找爆金币的。离开时再反手cpu一下。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/156142541/">momo</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>我觉真正的友谊其实是超越语言表达层面的。不是发个朋友圈有没有人看有没有人点赞，不是聚会提起个话头有没有人回应。而更在于遇事需要商量、需要意见、需要第三视角时有没有人可以诉说可以商量，继续帮助时有没有会伸出援手的朋友。不用多，有一两个就很幸运了。在智能手机普及的时代，我反而觉得日复一日在同一个环境的朝夕相处也非常重要，如果一个人能保留学生时代的友谊，即使分开不同环境或不同城市，我会觉得这是人品的一大佐证。是经过实践检验的人品证明。日久见人心，在一个长期相处的小环境里，如果一个人人品不好、欺负别人、占人便宜，天长日久很难不暴露。这是手机和app交友不可替代的。社交媒体上的分享并不能反映出人品。人都会有意无意地在表达中美化自己。我尤其不喜欢一加微信就私信分享各种从吃喝到短视频加公众号心灵鸡汤的人。这不是“分享”，这是对他人时间和专注力的侵占和掠夺。能用微信在别人需要时给予安慰当然很好，但是给人的冲击力很难比得过现实的陪伴、拥抱和面对面的支持鼓励。总结一下，友谊需要现实中的超越语言层面的真正意义上的“来往”，需要现实检验。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="63152636"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929523113" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除田柏楠的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929523113" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929523113"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (10)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929523113#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929554727" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="145353394" data-cid="5929554727" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/145353394/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up145353394-13.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/145353394/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 13:03:33 上海</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>涨知识了！单字解析：忮（zhì）：本义为“嫉妒、忌恨”，如《诗经·邶风》中“不忮不求”（不嫉妒、不贪求）。跽（jì）：指“长跪”，即双膝着地、挺直上身的姿势，常见于古人对坐或行礼时的动作。组合词义： “忮跽”可理解为“因嫉妒或心怀不忿而长跪”，可能用于描述古代某种带有复杂情感的动作或仪式场景。由于该词罕见，具体含义需结合上下文进一步推断。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="145353394"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929554727" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929554727" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929554727"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (3)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929554727#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929608571" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5929608571" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 14:00:54 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="145353394" data-ref-cid="5929554727" > <span class="short ref-content">涨知识了！单字解析：忮（zhì）：本义为“嫉妒、忌恨”，如《诗经·邶风》中“不忮不求”（不</span> <span class="all ref-content">涨知识了！单字解析：忮（zhì）：本义为“嫉妒、忌恨”，如《诗经·邶风》中“不忮不求”（不嫉妒、不贪求）。跽（jì）：指“长跪”，即双膝着地、挺直上身的姿势，常见于古人对坐或行礼时的动作。组合词义： “忮跽”可理解为“因嫉妒或心怀不忿而长跪”，可能用于描述古代某种带有复杂情感的动作或仪式场景。由于该词罕见，具体含义需结合上下文进一步推断。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/145353394/">momo</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>嗯嗯，不要严钕（居然发不出去）词</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929608571" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929608571" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929608571"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929608571#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929609709" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5929609709" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 14:02:09 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="63152636" data-ref-cid="5929523113" > <span class="short ref-content">我觉真正的友谊其实是超越语言表达层面的。不是发个朋友圈有没有人看有没有人点赞，不是聚会提起</span> <span class="all ref-content">我觉真正的友谊其实是超越语言表达层面的。不是发个朋友圈有没有人看有没有人点赞，不是聚会提起个话头有没有人回应。而更在于遇事需要商量、需要意见、需要第三视角时有没有人可以诉说可以商量，继续帮助时有没有会伸出援手的朋友。不用多，有一两个就很幸运了。在智能手机普及的时代，我反而觉得日复一日在同一个环境的朝夕相处也非常重要，如果一个人能保留学生时代的友谊，即使分开不同环境或不同城市，我会觉得这是人品的一大佐证。是经过实践检验的人品证明。日久见人心，在一个长期相处的小环境里，如果一个人人品不好、欺负别人、占人便宜，天长日久很难不暴露。这是手机和app交友不可替代的。社交媒体上的分享并不能反映出人品。人都会有意无意地在表达中美化自己。我尤其不喜欢一加微信就私信分享各种从吃喝到短视频加公众号心灵鸡汤的人。这不是“分享”，这是对他人时间和专注力的侵占和掠夺。能用微信在别人需要时给予安慰当然很好，但是给人的冲击力很难比得过现实的陪伴、拥抱和面对面的支持鼓励。总结一下，友谊需要现实中的超越语言层面的真正意义上的“来往”，需要现实检验。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/">田柏楠</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>把友谊局限在很小的面里，会越走越窄</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929609709" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929609709" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929609709"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (1)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929609709#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929610639" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5929610639" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 14:03:11 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>我始终认为，人应该广泛的交友，具备很强的包容心，在保护自己的情况下和多人交流合作，人各有所长各有所短，有时候只盯着对方的短处很容易变得狭隘，自己的路也不会越走越宽</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929610639" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929610639" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929610639"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (3)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929610639#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929620533" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="63152636" data-cid="5929620533" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up63152636-200.jpg" alt="田柏楠"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/" class="">田柏楠</a> (内卷的弟弟肉卷) <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 14:14:43 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="204403998" data-ref-cid="5929609709" > <span class="short ref-content">把友谊局限在很小的面里，会越走越窄</span> <span class="all ref-content">把友谊局限在很小的面里，会越走越窄</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/">Hhhhh</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>现实的空间并不小。其次，每个人自我实现的方式不同。可以理解对友谊的不同追求，例如把友谊作为自我提升的工具。但不会觉得哪种选择更好。适合自己就是最好的。对我来说友谊比较简单，也许和职业专业也有关系，自我实现主要靠自身努力不靠朋友。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="63152636"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929620533" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除田柏楠的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929620533" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929620533"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (2)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929620533#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929683132" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="135445800" data-cid="5929683132" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/135445800/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up135445800-6.jpg" alt="more"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/135445800/" class="">more</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 15:22:30 福建</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>111</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="135445800"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929683132" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除more的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929683132" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929683132"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929683132#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929913372" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="156142541" data-cid="5929913372" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/156142541/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up156142541-9.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/156142541/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 19:02:59 英国</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="63152636" data-ref-cid="5929523113" > <span class="short ref-content">我觉真正的友谊其实是超越语言表达层面的。不是发个朋友圈有没有人看有没有人点赞，不是聚会提起</span> <span class="all ref-content">我觉真正的友谊其实是超越语言表达层面的。不是发个朋友圈有没有人看有没有人点赞，不是聚会提起个话头有没有人回应。而更在于遇事需要商量、需要意见、需要第三视角时有没有人可以诉说可以商量，继续帮助时有没有会伸出援手的朋友。不用多，有一两个就很幸运了。在智能手机普及的时代，我反而觉得日复一日在同一个环境的朝夕相处也非常重要，如果一个人能保留学生时代的友谊，即使分开不同环境或不同城市，我会觉得这是人品的一大佐证。是经过实践检验的人品证明。日久见人心，在一个长期相处的小环境里，如果一个人人品不好、欺负别人、占人便宜，天长日久很难不暴露。这是手机和app交友不可替代的。社交媒体上的分享并不能反映出人品。人都会有意无意地在表达中美化自己。我尤其不喜欢一加微信就私信分享各种从吃喝到短视频加公众号心灵鸡汤的人。这不是“分享”，这是对他人时间和专注力的侵占和掠夺。能用微信在别人需要时给予安慰当然很好，但是给人的冲击力很难比得过现实的陪伴、拥抱和面对面的支持鼓励。总结一下，友谊需要现实中的超越语言层面的真正意义上的“来往”，需要现实检验。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/">田柏楠</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>也适用于感情中，一上来很热情说喜欢你的人后期容易爆雷。看清一个人的品行需要线下长时间去接触</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="156142541"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929913372" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929913372" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929913372"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (2)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929913372#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929982704" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="176815151" data-cid="5929982704" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/176815151/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up176815151-6.jpg" alt="∮霁雪叠虹"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/176815151/" class="">∮霁雪叠虹</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 20:01:33 安徽</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="49562299" data-ref-cid="5928419048" > <span class="short ref-content">我的做法是关注对方的情绪和行为，不那么在意对方的语言和内心想法。内心想法如果懂心理学就知</span> <span class="all ref-content">我的做法是关注对方的情绪和行为，不那么在意对方的语言和内心想法。内心想法如果懂心理学就知道有很多层次的，埋在深层次的，本人都未必知道，外人去挖掘什么啊，以自己的成长环境和心理揣测人，永远都活在自己狭隘的认知里。这种推测与其说是了解他人，不如说是了解自己。语言是很容易造假的，口不应心的情况可太多了，参考价值很低的。关注行为是，一个人的行为是客观的结果，不管他内心深处想法如何，行为上有连贯一致性，所以要预测行为会简单很多。关注情绪是，语言会有造假歧义，行为有滞后性，情绪往往是自发的，即时反馈的，就算是压抑或者隐藏情绪也能感受到压抑或者隐藏情绪。关注情绪就是所谓的用心看人，这是个天赋，当然心理咨询专业训练也能提高这个能力。根据情绪的及时反馈来调整社交策略，是最迅速的，也是最能获得即时反馈效果的。最后以上，如果想成为多数人都喜欢听自己说话的人，就不要希望别人“只想和自己做朋友”，友情又不是爱情，这么强的独占欲，是留不下来正常的人际关系的，而愿意忍受畸形人际关系的人，永远是少数。 “都想听”也不现实，这个世界上，希望拥有任何绝对化的东西都无法实现，世界是动态的，人生是变化的，拥抱变化，才能拥有稳定的内心世界。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/49562299/">momo</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>很有启发的一段话。其实我一直的策略是训练自己，只关注他人的语言和行动，潜意识觉得去情绪化和理性化更好。这是因为过去对他人的情绪先天地过度敏感，导致关注情绪这一点反而更容易会影响我自己的情绪，耗费我很多精力。但是我想一想，这只能适用于“外人”。对于自己在意的人，共情是最重要的精神交流。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="176815151"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929982704" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除∮霁雪叠虹的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929982704" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929982704"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (2)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929982704#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5929995461" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="49562299" data-cid="5929995461" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/49562299/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up49562299-8.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/49562299/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 20:11:33 黑龙江</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="176815151" data-ref-cid="5929982704" > <span class="short ref-content">很有启发的一段话。其实我一直的策略是训练自己，只关注他人的语言和行动，潜意识觉得去情绪化和</span> <span class="all ref-content">很有启发的一段话。其实我一直的策略是训练自己，只关注他人的语言和行动，潜意识觉得去情绪化和理性化更好。这是因为过去对他人的情绪先天地过度敏感，导致关注情绪这一点反而更容易会影响我自己的情绪，耗费我很多精力。但是我想一想，这只能适用于“外人”。对于自己在意的人，共情是最重要的精神交流。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/176815151/">∮霁雪叠虹</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>我以前也困扰这个，也经历过一段时间屏蔽他人情绪，但是并没有快乐。这是逆着上天给我们财富而行的。后来，我是通过建立一套自我完整的价值体系，分清自我和他人，慢慢就又回到舒适状态了。要让别人舒服，首先让自己舒服，自己舒服了，别人自然舒服。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="49562299"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5929995461" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5929995461" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5929995461"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (4)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5929995461#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5930215390" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="176815151" data-cid="5930215390" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/176815151/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up176815151-6.jpg" alt="∮霁雪叠虹"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/176815151/" class="">∮霁雪叠虹</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 22:57:35 江苏</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="49562299" data-ref-cid="5929995461" > <span class="short ref-content">我以前也困扰这个，也经历过一段时间屏蔽他人情绪，但是并没有快乐。这是逆着上天给我们财富而行</span> <span class="all ref-content">我以前也困扰这个，也经历过一段时间屏蔽他人情绪，但是并没有快乐。这是逆着上天给我们财富而行的。后来，我是通过建立一套自我完整的价值体系，分清自我和他人，慢慢就又回到舒适状态了。要让别人舒服，首先让自己舒服，自己舒服了，别人自然舒服。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/49562299/">momo</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>嗯，你说的对。敏感也是种珍贵的东西，而且是本能。希望我也能找到种更舒服更平衡的状态。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="176815151"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5930215390" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除∮霁雪叠虹的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5930215390" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5930215390"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5930215390#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5930293950" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="83084314" data-cid="5930293950" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/83084314/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up83084314-5.jpg" alt="闲敲棋子落灯花"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/83084314/" class="">闲敲棋子落灯花</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-17 23:54:51 河南</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>学习了，谢谢楼主分享</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="83084314"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5930293950" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除闲敲棋子落灯花的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5930293950" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5930293950"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5930293950#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5930345243" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="244859973" data-cid="5930345243" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/244859973/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up244859973-2.jpg" alt="外卖催单是投诉"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/244859973/" class="">外卖催单是投诉</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-18 00:37:28 江西</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>好贴dd</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="244859973"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5930345243" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除外卖催单是投诉的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5930345243" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5930345243"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5930345243#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5930373924" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="277213615" data-cid="5930373924" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/277213615/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up277213615-2.jpg" alt="3kwzdhx."/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/277213615/" class="">3kwzdhx.</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-18 01:09:13 江苏</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>dd</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="277213615"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5930373924" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除3kwzdhx.的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5930373924" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5930373924"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5930373924#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5930423123" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="201330044" data-cid="5930423123" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/afei37927/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up201330044-7.jpg" alt="啊呀呀"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/afei37927/" class="">啊呀呀</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-18 03:23:00 上海</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>真好，我今天已经看到好几个用忮忌的帖文了，好爱姐妹们～</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="201330044"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5930423123" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除啊呀呀的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5930423123" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5930423123"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5930423123#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5930467164" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="279877318" data-cid="5930467164" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/279877318/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up279877318-2.jpg" alt="二嘉"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/279877318/" class="">二嘉</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-18 08:29:41 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>d</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="279877318"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5930467164" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除二嘉的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5930467164" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5930467164"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5930467164#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5933325179" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="46184385" data-cid="5933325179" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/46184385/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up46184385-8.jpg" alt="咩咩咩"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/46184385/" class="">咩咩咩</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-20 20:55:09 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>忘记哪里看到的：“一个人对你的喜欢程度在于你给他带来的快乐的总和” 我一想是这样的我很喜欢我的朋友因为我看见她就开心😃，互相说些有的没得都感觉充满电了。楼主讲说有趣的事/用有趣的方式说，可能也是因为给人带来快乐、新奇的感觉吧</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="46184385"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5933325179" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除咩咩咩的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5933325179" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5933325179"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (2)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5933325179#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5933442211" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="275368266" data-cid="5933442211" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/275368266/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up275368266-5.jpg" alt="早睡早起"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/275368266/" class="">早睡早起</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-20 22:29:02 河南</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>好帖dd</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="275368266"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5933442211" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除早睡早起的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5933442211" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5933442211"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5933442211#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5934344168" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="187988491" data-cid="5934344168" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/187988491/"><img class="pil" src="https://img2.doubanio.com/icon/up187988491-1.jpg" alt="兮沫"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/187988491/" class="">兮沫</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-21 20:17:28 辽宁</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>我感觉是这样，我对人没有兴趣，所以人际关系也不咋样，我觉得最舒服的状态是一个人团成球在角落里呆着，最好谁也看不见我</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="187988491"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5934344168" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除兮沫的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5934344168" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5934344168"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (1)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5934344168#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5934498314" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="264661738" data-cid="5934498314" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/264661738/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up264661738-2.jpg" alt="vvv"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/264661738/" class="">vvv</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-21 22:33:55 辽宁</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>但是咋样算是有趣的方式呢</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="264661738"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5934498314" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除vvv的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5934498314" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5934498314"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5934498314#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5934500027" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5934500027" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-21 22:35:18 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="264661738" data-ref-cid="5934498314" > <span class="short ref-content">但是咋样算是有趣的方式呢</span> <span class="all ref-content">但是咋样算是有趣的方式呢</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/264661738/">vvv</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>综艺里面人物的对话让你感觉有趣的，就是有趣的</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5934500027" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5934500027" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5934500027"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5934500027#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5934693037" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="185537119" data-cid="5934693037" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/185537119/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up185537119-2.jpg" alt="小喵仙"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/185537119/" class="">小喵仙</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-22 01:43:27 湖南</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>谢谢帖主，我想我突然找回了自我。我是一个内向的人，并不会主动社交，但是曾经有段时间还是挺受欢迎的，身边的人都挺喜欢我的。后来我抑郁了很长一段时间，然后我整个人都很沉重、自闭，也不知道怎么交朋友，身边的人越来越少了。我想了很久都想不起来为什么之前大家喜欢我，看到你说的我突然想起来了，那时我挺有趣的，对自己的定位是搞笑女，会把身边发生的无论欢乐还是悲伤的事情编成段子分享。我现在需要重拾这种用幽默解构一切的能力，我想我会慢慢恢复的。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="185537119"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5934693037" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除小喵仙的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5934693037" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5934693037"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5934693037#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5934954301" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5934954301" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-22 13:23:31 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="185537119" data-ref-cid="5934693037" > <span class="short ref-content">谢谢帖主，我想我突然找回了自我。我是一个内向的人，并不会主动社交，但是曾经有段时间还是挺受</span> <span class="all ref-content">谢谢帖主，我想我突然找回了自我。我是一个内向的人，并不会主动社交，但是曾经有段时间还是挺受欢迎的，身边的人都挺喜欢我的。后来我抑郁了很长一段时间，然后我整个人都很沉重、自闭，也不知道怎么交朋友，身边的人越来越少了。我想了很久都想不起来为什么之前大家喜欢我，看到你说的我突然想起来了，那时我挺有趣的，对自己的定位是搞笑女，会把身边发生的无论欢乐还是悲伤的事情编成段子分享。我现在需要重拾这种用幽默解构一切的能力，我想我会慢慢恢复的。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/185537119/">小喵仙</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>嗯那，你很厉害，幽默是一种能力，未来把它当成工具，你会受益很多。选择你也喜欢的人做朋友，生活会越来越好</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5934954301" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5934954301" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5934954301"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5934954301#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5935604592" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="143159225" data-cid="5935604592" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/143159225/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up143159225-2.jpg" alt="毛利兰"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/143159225/" class="">毛利兰</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-23 00:00:19 青海</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>Did</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="143159225"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5935604592" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除毛利兰的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5935604592" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5935604592"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5935604592#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5935624672" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="188664505" data-cid="5935624672" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/188664505/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up188664505-7.jpg" alt="小蠢蛋修炼指南"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/188664505/" class="">小蠢蛋修炼指南</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-23 00:19:29 上海</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>说白了就是不要自恋一直谈论你自己忽略对方的主体性那么你就不会总是得到你想要的回应有时候真的不是别人嫉妒或者怎么而是真的不感兴趣</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="188664505"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5935624672" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除小蠢蛋修炼指南的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5935624672" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5935624672"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 (1)</a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5935624672#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5935625141" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="188664505" data-cid="5935625141" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/188664505/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up188664505-7.jpg" alt="小蠢蛋修炼指南"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/188664505/" class="">小蠢蛋修炼指南</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-23 00:19:55 上海</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="188664505" data-ref-cid="5935624672" > <span class="short ref-content">说白了就是不要自恋一直谈论你自己忽略对方的主体性那么你就不会总是得到你想要的回应有时候真</span> <span class="all ref-content">说白了就是不要自恋一直谈论你自己忽略对方的主体性那么你就不会总是得到你想要的回应有时候真的不是别人嫉妒或者怎么而是真的不感兴趣</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/188664505/">小蠢蛋修炼指南</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>不是针对lz哈我也是这么对自己说</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="188664505"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5935625141" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除小蠢蛋修炼指南的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5935625141" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5935625141"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5935625141#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5935750171" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="255461152" data-cid="5935750171" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/dawusiqi/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up255461152-9.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/dawusiqi/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-23 08:09:19 浙江</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="174304008" data-ref-cid="5928389987" > <span class="short ref-content">不要有这个想法，我以前有这个想法，结果在别人那里我就是个可以占便宜的傻子，你表现出这种特质</span> <span class="all ref-content">不要有这个想法，我以前有这个想法，结果在别人那里我就是个可以占便宜的傻子，你表现出这种特质，只会吸引想要剥削你的人</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/">泊松</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>有趣跟占便宜有个鸡毛关系</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="255461152"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5935750171" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5935750171" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5935750171"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5935750171#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5935751056" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="255461152" data-cid="5935751056" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/dawusiqi/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up255461152-9.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/dawusiqi/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-23 08:13:02 浙江</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="63152636" data-ref-cid="5929523113" > <span class="short ref-content">我觉真正的友谊其实是超越语言表达层面的。不是发个朋友圈有没有人看有没有人点赞，不是聚会提起</span> <span class="all ref-content">我觉真正的友谊其实是超越语言表达层面的。不是发个朋友圈有没有人看有没有人点赞，不是聚会提起个话头有没有人回应。而更在于遇事需要商量、需要意见、需要第三视角时有没有人可以诉说可以商量，继续帮助时有没有会伸出援手的朋友。不用多，有一两个就很幸运了。在智能手机普及的时代，我反而觉得日复一日在同一个环境的朝夕相处也非常重要，如果一个人能保留学生时代的友谊，即使分开不同环境或不同城市，我会觉得这是人品的一大佐证。是经过实践检验的人品证明。日久见人心，在一个长期相处的小环境里，如果一个人人品不好、欺负别人、占人便宜，天长日久很难不暴露。这是手机和app交友不可替代的。社交媒体上的分享并不能反映出人品。人都会有意无意地在表达中美化自己。我尤其不喜欢一加微信就私信分享各种从吃喝到短视频加公众号心灵鸡汤的人。这不是“分享”，这是对他人时间和专注力的侵占和掠夺。能用微信在别人需要时给予安慰当然很好，但是给人的冲击力很难比得过现实的陪伴、拥抱和面对面的支持鼓励。总结一下，友谊需要现实中的超越语言层面的真正意义上的“来往”，需要现实检验。</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/63152636/">田柏楠</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>你真的是杠，楼主分享语言技巧，你非要在下面说友谊里的“接触”比语言重要，你杠不杠精</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="255461152"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5935751056" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5935751056" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5935751056"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5935751056#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5935751577" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="255461152" data-cid="5935751577" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/dawusiqi/"><img class="pil" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/icon/up255461152-9.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/dawusiqi/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-23 08:15:03 浙江</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>楼主说的很对，我对象就经常给我说一些与我无关但是且又不感兴趣的事，但我居然都能听得下去，主要是他说话方式比较逗比较有趣，我很容易觉得别人无聊，很烦别人跟我分享，就是觉得大部分人说话都好无聊“这有什么值得分享的吗”</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="255461152"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5935751577" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5935751577" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5935751577"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5935751577#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5936153235" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="283390105" data-cid="5936153235" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/283390105/"><img class="pil" src="https://img2.doubanio.com/icon/up283390105-1.jpg" alt="布灵year"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/283390105/" class="">布灵year</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-23 17:09:01 浙江</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>人无完人</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="283390105"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5936153235" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除布灵year的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5936153235" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5936153235"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5936153235#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5936620280" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="211506708" data-cid="5936620280" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/211506708/"><img class="pil" src="https://img2.doubanio.com/icon/up211506708-1.jpg" alt="不溯"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/211506708/" class="">不溯</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-23 23:50:19 浙江</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>哇塞这个结论可以适用于一切友情和爱情关系中的“分享日常”！</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="211506708"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5936620280" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除不溯的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5936620280" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5936620280"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5936620280#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5937852323" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="131514109" data-cid="5937852323" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/131514109/"><img class="pil" src="https://img2.doubanio.com/icon/up131514109-11.jpg" alt="Momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/131514109/" class="">Momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-25 01:02:52 海南</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>赞同的。。我有个朋友说话特别好玩。。就算和他不熟也会因为他的语言发出爆笑。。</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="131514109"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5937852323" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5937852323" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5937852323"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5937852323#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5937955904" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="269636460" data-cid="5937955904" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/269636460/"><img class="pil" src="https://img2.doubanio.com/icon/up269636460-1.jpg" alt="豆友3ogEIqhhIs"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/269636460/" class="">豆友3ogEIqhhIs</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-25 07:57:37 重庆</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="174304008" data-ref-cid="5928389987" > <span class="short ref-content">不要有这个想法，我以前有这个想法，结果在别人那里我就是个可以占便宜的傻子，你表现出这种特质</span> <span class="all ref-content">不要有这个想法，我以前有这个想法，结果在别人那里我就是个可以占便宜的傻子，你表现出这种特质，只会吸引想要剥削你的人</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/">泊松</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>怎么说</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="269636460"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5937955904" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除豆友3ogEIqhhIs的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5937955904" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5937955904"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5937955904#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5938040998" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="174304008" data-cid="5938040998" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/"><img class="pil" src="https://img2.doubanio.com/icon/up174304008-1.jpg" alt="泊松"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/" class="">泊松</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-25 10:21:23 上海</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="269636460" data-ref-cid="5937955904" > <span class="short ref-content">怎么说</span> <span class="all ref-content">怎么说</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/269636460/">豆友3ogEIqhhIs</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>就是想要得到别人对你的善意或者好评吧，现在我已经不在乎了，结果只得到别人不自知的想占你便宜，让你干活</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="174304008"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5938040998" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除泊松的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5938040998" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5938040998"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5938040998#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5938166008" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="153713048" data-cid="5938166008" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/153713048/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up153713048-13.jpg" alt="🤲捧着母鸡🐣"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/153713048/" class="">🤲捧着母鸡🐣</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-25 12:41:41 河北</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>素的</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="153713048"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5938166008" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除🤲捧着母鸡🐣的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5938166008" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5938166008"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5938166008#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5938315036" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5938315036" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-25 15:24:05 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="174304008" data-ref-cid="5938040998" > <span class="short ref-content">就是想要得到别人对你的善意或者好评吧，现在我已经不在乎了，结果只得到别人不自知的想占你便宜</span> <span class="all ref-content">就是想要得到别人对你的善意或者好评吧，现在我已经不在乎了，结果只得到别人不自知的想占你便宜，让你干活</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> <span class="expaned">...</span> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/">泊松</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>可以进一步思考如何避免这种情况</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5938315036" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5938315036" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5938315036"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5938315036#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5938468110" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="174304008" data-cid="5938468110" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/"><img class="pil" src="https://img2.doubanio.com/icon/up174304008-1.jpg" alt="泊松"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/" class="">泊松</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-25 17:58:34 上海</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="204403998" data-ref-cid="5938315036" > <span class="short ref-content">可以进一步思考如何避免这种情况</span> <span class="all ref-content">可以进一步思考如何避免这种情况</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/">Hhhhh</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>我已经不在乎别人的反馈了，被讨厌的勇气</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="174304008"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5938468110" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除泊松的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5938468110" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5938468110"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5938468110#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5939219271" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="161461191" data-cid="5939219271" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/161461191/"><img class="pil" src="https://img3.doubanio.com/icon/up161461191-7.jpg" alt="momo"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/161461191/" class="">momo</a> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-26 12:25:22 上海</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>对的有趣很重要</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="161461191"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5939219271" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除momo的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5939219271" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5939219271"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5939219271#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix comment-item reply-item" id="5939239092" data-is_folded="False" data-author-id="204403998" data-cid="5939239092" data-target_kind="1013" > <div class="user-face"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/"><img class="pil" src="https://img9.doubanio.com/icon/up204403998-5.jpg" alt="Hhhhh"/></a> </div> <div class="reply-doc content" style="padding-left:0px;"> <div class="bg-img-green"> <h4> <a href="https://www.douban.com/people/Chuan96/" class="">Hhhhh</a> <span class="topic-author-icon">楼主</span> <span class="pubtime">2025-03-26 12:45:50 广东</span> </h4> </div> <div class="reply-quote " > <div class="reply-quote-content" data-author-id="174304008" data-ref-cid="5938468110" > <span class="short ref-content">我已经不在乎别人的反馈了，被讨厌的勇气</span> <span class="all ref-content">我已经不在乎别人的反馈了，被讨厌的勇气</span> <a href="javascript:void(0);" class="toggle-reply"> </a> <span class="pubdate"><a href="https://www.douban.com/people/174304008/">泊松</a></span> </div> </div> <div class="reply-content"> <div class="markdown"> <p>顺序反了，先有被讨厌的勇气，再去琢磨这些技巧</p> </div> </div> <div class="operation-div" id="204403998"> <div class="operation-more"> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" data-cid="5939239092" class="lnk-delete-comment" title="真的要删除Hhhhh的发言?">删除</a> <span class="lnk-opt-line">|</span> <div class="comment-report-wrapper" style="display: inline" data-id="5939239092" data-url="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&comment_id=5939239092"></div> </div> <a rel="nofollow" href="javascript:void(0);" class="comment-vote lnk-fav lnk-reaction" data-reaction="1">赞 </a> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4&cid=5939239092#last" class="lnk-reply ">回复</a> </div> </div> </li> </ul> <h2> 你的回复 </h2> <span class="pl3" align="right"> 回复请先 <a class="j a_show_login" href="/accounts/register?reason=discuss">登录</a> , 或 <a class="j a_show_register" href="/accounts/register?reason=discuss">注册</a> </span> <div class="txd"> <form action="no_where_to_go"> <textarea readonly id="last" class="j a_show_login" name="rv_comment" class="comment_textarea" rows="6" cols="64"></textarea><br/> <span class="bn-flat-hot rr"> <input name="submit_btn" type="submit" class="j a_show_login" value="发送"/> </span> </form> </div> <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://img9.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/group/comment_photo.47215.css"> <script src="https://img3.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/group/comment_photo.4709a.js"></script> <script src="https://img3.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/manage_actions/create_modal.20022.js"></script> <script> (function () { window._MANAGER_CONF = window._MANAGER_CONF || {}; })() </script> <script src="https://img3.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/manage_actions/ban.2668a.js"></script> <script src="https://img9.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/manage_actions/topic.03304.js"></script> <script>var POPUP_REG = true;</script> </div> <div class="aside"> <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/e8a7261937da62636d22ca4c579efc4a4d759b1b/css/ui/dialog.css"> <div id="g-side-info" class="side-reg"> <div class="bd"> <div class="group-item"> <div class="pic"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/guilv/?ref=sidebar"><img src="https://img3.doubanio.com/view/group/sqxs/public/170bf3fe06e471a.jpg"></a> </div> <div class="info"> <div class="title"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/guilv/?ref=sidebar">我发现个规律</a> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="ft"> <div class="member-status"> <div class="ft-members"> <i>358560</i> 人聚集在这个小组<br> </div> <a href="#" class="j a_show_login lnk-selection">加入小组</a> </div> </div> </div> <script src="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/f25ae221544f39046484a823776f3aa01769ee10/js/ui/dialog.js"></script> <script> function generate_group_prompt_dialog_bind_phone(dui_config){ var prompt_dlg = dui.Dialog({ title: (dui_config.title? dui_config.title: '操作提示'), content: (dui_config.content? dui_config.content: '操作内容'), width: (dui_config.width? dui_config.width: 400), buttons: [ {text: '去绑定', method: function() { window.location = dui_config.target; } }, {text: '取消', method: function() { prompt_dlg.close(); } } ] }); prompt_dlg.open(); } /* common over */ $('.dialog-bind-phone-confirm').click(function(){ generate_group_prompt_dialog_bind_phone({content: '加入此小组需要绑定手机号', target: 'https://www.douban.com/accounts/phone/bind'}); return false; }); $('.btn-cancel-join').click(function(e) { e.preventDefault() var _this = this dui.Dialog({ width: 300, nodeId: 'cancel-join', content: '确定取消入组申请吗', buttons: [{ text: '确定', method: function() { $.post_withck('https://www.douban.com/group/guilv/cancel_join', {ck: get_cookie('ck')}) window.location.reload() } }, { text: '不了', method: function() { dui.Dialog().close() } }], }).open() }) </script>  <div id="dale_group_topic_top_right"></div>  <div class="mod" style="padding-bottom: 20px"> <h2> 相关内容推荐 </h2> <script> $(function() { $.get('https://www.douban.com/stat.html?event=expose_topic_module&topic_id=321307343&source=topic_recommend') }) </script> <div class="topic-list"> <ul> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/318633715/?_spm_id=MjI0MjY5NTY4" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic','source': 'topic_recommend','topic_id': '318633715'})" title="我终于发现真的不要随便去纠正朋友的缺点（二编）" >划船区｜我终于发现真的不要随便去纠正朋友的缺点（二编）</a> <div style="padding-top: 5px"> <a class="group-link" href="https://www.douban.com/group/725960/" title="友谊的小船我一个人也能划" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_one_group','source': 'topic_recommend','group_id': '725960'})" >(友谊的小船我一个人也能划小组)</a> </div> </li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/308046389/?_spm_id=MTUwMjAwMzYy" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic','source': 'topic_recommend','topic_id': '308046389'})" title="一个万能糊弄句式进可提供情绪价值退可表达自我" >经验分享｜一个万能糊弄句式进可提供情绪价值退可表达自我</a> <div style="padding-top: 5px"> <a class="group-link" href="https://www.douban.com/group/694529/" title="糊弄学" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_one_group','source': 'topic_recommend','group_id': '694529'})" >(糊弄学小组)</a> </div> </li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/279367337/?_spm_id=MjY0MjQ4MzAw" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic','source': 'topic_recommend','topic_id': '279367337'})" title="我适应能力很强，基本在哪儿都能交到真心朋友" >牛技能分享｜我适应能力很强，基本在哪儿都能交到真心朋友</a> <div style="padding-top: 5px"> <a class="group-link" href="https://www.douban.com/group/711925/" title="吹牛逼不用担心被嘲讽" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_one_group','source': 'topic_recommend','group_id': '711925'})" >(吹牛逼不用担心被嘲讽小组)</a> </div> </li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/320300508/?_spm_id=MzM3MDk5NjU" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic','source': 'topic_recommend','topic_id': '320300508'})" title="我发现为了不伤害别人的感情答应自己不愿做的事情结果也不会太好" >社会规律｜我发现为了不伤害别人的感情答应自己不愿做的事情...</a> </li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/281105214/?_spm_id=MTYxODI5NTMz" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic','source': 'topic_recommend','topic_id': '281105214'})" title="从来没有主动跟人扩大社交场景的意识——关于为什么我没有朋友" >干货分享｜从来没有主动跟人扩大社交场景的意识——关于为什...</a> <div style="padding-top: 5px"> <a class="group-link" href="https://www.douban.com/group/717168/" title="社交能力复健小组" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_one_group','source': 'topic_recommend','group_id': '717168'})" >(社交能力复健小组小组)</a> </div> </li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/228999187/?_spm_id=MTg0MDYyMjQ4" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic','source': 'topic_recommend','topic_id': '228999187'})" title="不仅帮你聊天，还可以帮你调整心态！更新经验总结7.5（聊天氛围相关）" >【专楼】｜不仅帮你聊天，还可以帮你调整心态！更新经验总结7...</a> <div style="padding-top: 5px"> <a class="group-link" href="https://www.douban.com/group/icrush/" title="我今天遇到一个crush" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_one_group','source': 'topic_recommend','group_id': '706732'})" >(我今天遇到一个crush小组)</a> </div> </li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/318040661/?_spm_id=Mjg2NDM5NTg3" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic','source': 'topic_recommend','topic_id': '318040661'})" title="每天只要对自己说一句好话，真的能让我更爱自己！" >总结感悟｜每天只要对自己说一句好话，真的能让我更爱自己！</a> <div style="padding-top: 5px"> <a class="group-link" href="https://www.douban.com/group/749329/" title="爱自己的具体方式" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_one_group','source': 'topic_recommend','group_id': '749329'})" >(爱自己的具体方式小组)</a> </div> </li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/300741946/?_spm_id=MTkxMTkzNDk2" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic','source': 'topic_recommend','topic_id': '300741946'})" title="具体的人｜如何爱具体的人" >具体的人｜如何爱具体的人</a> <div style="padding-top: 5px"> <a class="group-link" href="https://www.douban.com/group/741660/" title="「做具体的人」共进会" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_one_group','source': 'topic_recommend','group_id': '741660'})" >(「做具体的人」共进会小组)</a> </div> </li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/302602568/?_spm_id=Mjc2NDAxNjI0" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic','source': 'topic_recommend','topic_id': '302602568'})" title="我会XX | 我会和人高效沟通" >我会XX | 我会和人高效沟通</a> <div style="padding-top: 5px"> <a class="group-link" href="https://www.douban.com/group/736428/" title="我不会XX｜我的人生新手村" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_one_group','source': 'topic_recommend','group_id': '736428'})" >(我不会XX｜我的人生新手村小组)</a> </div> </li> </ul> </div> </div> <div class="mod"> <h2> 最新讨论 <span class="pl"> ( <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/guilv/#topics" target="_self">更多</a> ) </span> </h2> <div class="topic-list"> <ul> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321950323/?_spm_id=Nzg2MzY4ODk" title="能健康平安长大、独立生活的普通人已经算是好运气" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic', 'source': 'topic_discussing', 'topic_id': '321950323'})" > 自然规律｜能健康平安长大、独立生活的普通人已经算是好运气 </a>   <span class="pl">(马豆玲)</span></li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/320015618/?_spm_id=Nzg2MzY4ODk" title="我妈一语道破为什么在大城市打工存钱难" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic', 'source': 'topic_discussing', 'topic_id': '320015618'})" > 社会规律｜我妈一语道破为什么在大城市打工存钱难 </a>   <span class="pl">(马豆玲)</span></li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/322024030/?_spm_id=MjIxODk1OTM5" title="退休后，才明白，真正属于自己的东西只有两件……" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic', 'source': 'topic_discussing', 'topic_id': '322024030'})" > 讨论/管理｜退休后，才明白，真正属于自己的东西只有两件…… </a>   <span class="pl">(阿佛)</span></li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/321781199/?_spm_id=MTYwNjYwOTA2" title="发现患者真的无法识别好坏医生" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic', 'source': 'topic_discussing', 'topic_id': '321781199'})" > 讨论/管理｜发现患者真的无法识别好坏医生 </a>   <span class="pl">(已注销)</span></li> <li> <a href="https://www.douban.com/group/topic/320225143/?_spm_id=MjE5Njg1ODQ5" title="我发现当代青年社交渠道有很严重的缺失" onclick="moreurl(this, {'event': 'open_group_topic', 'source': 'topic_discussing', 'topic_id': '320225143'})" > 社会规律｜我发现当代青年社交渠道有很严重的缺失 </a>   <span class="pl">(frank之徒)</span></li> </ul> </div> </div> <script> $(function() { $.get('https://www.douban.com/stat.html?event=expose_topic_module&topic_id=321307343&source=topic_discussing') }) </script>  <div id="dale_group_topic_inner_middle"></div>    <div id="dale_group_topic_bottom_right"></div> <script type="text/javascript"> (function (global) { if(!document.getElementsByClassName) { document.getElementsByClassName = function(className) { return this.querySelectorAll("." + className); }; Element.prototype.getElementsByClassName = document.getElementsByClassName; } var articles = global.document.getElementsByClassName('article'), asides = global.document.getElementsByClassName('aside'); if (articles.length > 0 && asides.length > 0 && articles[0].offsetHeight >= asides[0].offsetHeight) { (global.DoubanAdSlots = global.DoubanAdSlots || []).push('dale_group_topic_bottom_right'); } })(this); </script>   </div> <div class="extra">  <div id="dale_group_topic_bottom_super_banner"></div> <script type="text/javascript"> (function (global) { var body = global.document.body, html = global.document.documentElement; var height = Math.max(body.scrollHeight, body.offsetHeight, html.clientHeight, html.scrollHeight, html.offsetHeight); if (height >= 1200) { (global.DoubanAdSlots = global.DoubanAdSlots || []).push('dale_group_topic_bottom_super_banner'); } })(this); </script>   <div id="dale_group_topic_hovering_video"></div>  </div> </div> </div> <div id="footer"> <span id="icp" class="fleft gray-link"> © 2005-2025 douban.com, all rights reserved 北京豆网科技有限公司 </span> <a href="https://www.douban.com/hnypt/variformcyst.py" style="display: none;"></a> <span class="fright"> <a href="https://www.douban.com/about">关于豆瓣</a> · <a href="https://www.douban.com/jobs">在豆瓣工作</a> · <a href="https://www.douban.com/about?topic=contactus">联系我们</a> · <a href="https://www.douban.com/about/legal">法律声明</a> · <a href="https://help.douban.com/group" target="_blank">帮助中心</a> · <a href="https://www.douban.com/doubanapp/">移动应用</a> </span> </div> </div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/misc/mixed_static/5920967a26474c83.js"></script> <script> window._CONFIG = window._CONFIG || {}; window._CONFIG['comments_user_reactions'] = JSON.parse("{\"5937955904\":0,\"5938468110\":0,\"5928262681\":0,\"5928383592\":0,\"5938166008\":0,\"5928418080\":0,\"5929334287\":0,\"5929620533\":0,\"5928482918\":0,\"5933442211\":0,\"5928419030\":0,\"5937852323\":0,\"5939219271\":0,\"5929982704\":0,\"5929610639\":0,\"5929341110\":0,\"5929108299\":0,\"5935604592\":0,\"5929411420\":0,\"5929913372\":0,\"5934693037\":0,\"5928200442\":0,\"5928199338\":0,\"5930467164\":0,\"5928389987\":0,\"5938040998\":0,\"5928740915\":0,\"5935751056\":0,\"5928198941\":0,\"5930345243\":0,\"5934344168\":0,\"5935751577\":0,\"5928419280\":0,\"5928332672\":0,\"5929487146\":0,\"5934500027\":0,\"5934954301\":0,\"5929683132\":0,\"5929425036\":0,\"5930373924\":0,\"5933325179\":0,\"5928135856\":0,\"5936153235\":0,\"5929396342\":0,\"5936620280\":0,\"5929554727\":0,\"5930293950\":0,\"5938315036\":0,\"5928214009\":0,\"5929396817\":0,\"5929609709\":0,\"5935750171\":0,\"5935625141\":0,\"5928508282\":0,\"5930215390\":0,\"5934498314\":0,\"5928138875\":0,\"5939239092\":0,\"5930423123\":0,\"5928152879\":0,\"5928456899\":0,\"5929608571\":0,\"5928419048\":0,\"5929523113\":0,\"5935624672\":0,\"5929995461\":0}"); window._CONFIG['comments_hidden'] = JSON.parse("{}"); window._CONFIG['ban_reasons'] = JSON.parse("{\"group_reasons\":[{\"placeholder\":\"可填写附言，此用户可见，最多50字\",\"reason\":\"违反本组发言规则\",\"type\":3},{\"placeholder\":\"可填写附言，此用户可见，最多50字\",\"reason\":\"发布与本组主题无关的内容\",\"type\":3},{\"placeholder\":\"向此用户说明原因(必填)\",\"reason\":\"不属于违规\",\"need_message\":true,\"type\":4}],\"douban_reasons\":[{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"广告垃圾\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"色情低俗\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"未经授权\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"违法违规\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":2,\"reason\":\"使用不雅词句、辱骂或人身攻击\",\"subtitle\":\"不友善\"},{\"type\":2,\"reason\":\"引战、挂人或泄露他人隐私\",\"subtitle\":\"不友善\"}]}"); window._CONFIG['delete_topic_reasons'] = JSON.parse("{\"group_reasons\":[{\"placeholder\":null,\"reason\":\"违反本组发言规则\",\"type\":3},{\"placeholder\":null,\"reason\":\"发布与本组主题无关的内容\",\"type\":3},{\"reason\":\"楼主申请删除\",\"type\":4},{\"type\":4,\"reason\":\"其他\",\"need_custom_reason\":true,\"placeholder\":\"输入删除的原因(必填)\"}],\"douban_reasons\":[{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"广告垃圾\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"色情低俗\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"未经授权\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"违法违规\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":2,\"reason\":\"使用不雅词句、辱骂或人身攻击\",\"subtitle\":\"不友善\"},{\"type\":2,\"reason\":\"引战、挂人或泄露他人隐私\",\"subtitle\":\"不友善\"}]}"); window._CONFIG['delete_comment_reasons'] = JSON.parse("{\"group_reasons\":[{\"placeholder\":null,\"reason\":\"违反本组发言规则\",\"type\":3},{\"placeholder\":null,\"reason\":\"发布与本组主题无关的内容\",\"type\":3},{\"reason\":\"发布与主楼讨论无关的内容\",\"type\":4},{\"type\":4,\"reason\":\"其他\",\"need_custom_reason\":true,\"placeholder\":\"输入删除的原因(必填)\"}],\"douban_reasons\":[{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"广告垃圾\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"色情低俗\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"未经授权\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"违法违规\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":2,\"reason\":\"使用不雅词句、辱骂或人身攻击\",\"subtitle\":\"不友善\"},{\"type\":2,\"reason\":\"引战、挂人或泄露他人隐私\",\"subtitle\":\"不友善\"}]}"); window._CONFIG['remove_discussion_reasons'] = JSON.parse("{\"group_reasons\":[{\"placeholder\":null,\"reason\":\"违反本组发言规则\",\"type\":3},{\"placeholder\":null,\"reason\":\"发布与本组主题无关的内容\",\"type\":3},{\"reason\":\"楼主申请移出\",\"type\":4},{\"type\":4,\"reason\":\"其他\",\"need_custom_reason\":true,\"placeholder\":\"输入移出的原因(必填)\"}],\"douban_reasons\":[{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"广告垃圾\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"色情低俗\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"未经授权\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":1,\"reason\":\"违法违规\",\"subtitle\":\"发布社区禁止的内容\"},{\"type\":2,\"reason\":\"使用不雅词句、辱骂或人身攻击\",\"subtitle\":\"不友善\"},{\"type\":2,\"reason\":\"引战、挂人或泄露他人隐私\",\"subtitle\":\"不友善\"}]}"); window._CONFIG['is_community_manager'] = false; window._CONFIG['is_group_manager'] = false; </script> <script> var previewImageSetup = function(viewer) { viewer(document.querySelectorAll('.image-wrapper>img')); }; </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://img1.doubanio.com/f/vendors/f25ae221544f39046484a823776f3aa01769ee10/js/ui/dialog.js"></script>  <div class="back-to-top"> <a href="#">↑回顶部</a> </div> <script src="https://img3.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/group/back_top.54c7a.js"></script> <script src='https://img9.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/common/need_verify.a9d44.js'></script> <script src="https://img3.doubanio.com/cuphead/group-static/group-topic/page/group/index.6437a.js"></script>  <script type="text/javascript"> (function (global) { var newNode = global.document.createElement('script'), existingNode = global.document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0], adSource = '//erebor.douban.com/', userId = '', browserId = '8_QQKfXNV68', criteria = '1:705099|2:发现|2:规律组|2:社会|2:人文|2:自然|3:/group/topic/321307343/?_spm_id=MjA0NDAzOTk4', preview = '', debug = false, adSlots = ['dale_group_topic_top_right', 'dale_group_topic_inner_middle', 'dale_group_topic_hovering_video', 'dale_group_topic_banner_after_content']; global.DoubanAdRequest = {src: adSource, uid: userId, bid: browserId, crtr: criteria, prv: preview, debug: debug}; global.DoubanAdSlots = (global.DoubanAdSlots || []).concat(adSlots); newNode.setAttribute('type', 'text/javascript'); newNode.setAttribute('src', '//img1.doubanio.com/NWQ3bnN2eS9mL2FkanMvYjFiN2ViZWM0ZDBiZjlkNTE1ZDdiODZiZDc0NzNhNjExYWU3ZDk3My9hZC5yZWxlYXNlLmpz?company_token=kX69T8w1wyOE-dale'); newNode.setAttribute('async', true); existingNode.parentNode.insertBefore(newNode, existingNode); })(this); </script>  <script> (function () { function obj2str(obj) { var r = []; for (var k in obj) { if (obj.hasOwnProperty(k)) { var v = obj[k]; r.push(k + '=' + v) } } return r.join('&') } function appendQuery (url, query) { // get existed query var origin = url.split('?')[0]; var search = url.split('?')[1]; var paramsArr = !search ? [] : search.split('&'); var params = {}; for (var i = 0, len = paramsArr.length; i < len; i++) { var kvs = paramsArr[i]; if (kvs) { var kva = kvs.split('='); var k = kva[0]; var v = kva[1]; if (k) { params[k] = v; } } } if (!query || typeof(query) !== 'object') { return url; } // merge for (var k in query) { if (query.hasOwnProperty(k)) { params[k] = query[k] } } return origin + '?' + obj2str(params); } function changeUrl() { var prev = ''.split(',').pop(); var tt = '1743048520'.slice(3, 10); var bid = '8_QQKfXNV68'.slice(0, 7); var message = tt + bid; var chain = prev ? [prev, message].join(',') : message; setTimeout(function() { if (window.history.replaceState) { var url = appendQuery(window.location.href, { _i: chain }); window.history.replaceState(null, null, url); } else { window.location.replace('#' + chain); } }, 300); } changeUrl(); })() </script> <script type="text/javascript"> var _paq = _paq || []; _paq.push(['trackPageView']); _paq.push(['enableLinkTracking']); (function() { var p=(('https:' == document.location.protocol) ? 'https' : 'http'), u=p+'://fundin.douban.com/'; _paq.push(['setTrackerUrl', u+'piwik']); _paq.push(['setSiteId', '100001']); var d=document, g=d.createElement('script'), s=d.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; g.type='text/javascript'; g.defer=true; g.async=true; g.src=p+'://img3.doubanio.com/dae/fundin/piwik.js'; s.parentNode.insertBefore(g,s); })(); </script> <script type="text/javascript"> var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-7019765-1']); _gaq.push(['_setCampNameKey', 'dcn']); _gaq.push(['_setCampSourceKey', 'dcs']); _gaq.push(['_setCampMediumKey', 'dcm']); _gaq.push(['_setCampTermKey', 'dct']); _gaq.push(['_setCampContentKey', 'dcc']); _gaq.push(['_addOrganic', 'baidu', 'word']); _gaq.push(['_addOrganic', 'soso', 'w']); _gaq.push(['_addOrganic', '3721', 'name']); _gaq.push(['_addOrganic', 'youdao', 'q']); _gaq.push(['_addOrganic', 'so.360.cn', 'q']); _gaq.push(['_addOrganic', 'vnet', 'kw']); _gaq.push(['_addOrganic', 'sogou', 'query']); _gaq.push(['_addIgnoredOrganic', '豆瓣']); _gaq.push(['_addIgnoredOrganic', 'douban']); _gaq.push(['_addIgnoredOrganic', '豆瓣网']); _gaq.push(['_addIgnoredOrganic', 'www.douban.com']); _gaq.push(['_setDomainName', '.douban.com']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 1, 'responsive_view_mode', 'desktop', 3]); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 2, 'group', '我发现个规律', 3]) _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar', 3, 'tags', '发现|规律组|社会|人文|自然|', 3]) _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageLoadTime']); _gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'group tag', 'view', '发现', 0, true]); _gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'group tag', 'view', '规律组', 0, true]); _gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'group tag', 'view', '社会', 0, true]); _gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'group tag', 'view', '人文', 0, true]); _gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'group tag', 'view', '自然', 0, true]); window._ga_init = function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; ga.setAttribute('async', 'true'); document.documentElement.firstChild.appendChild(ga); }; if (window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', _ga_init, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', _ga_init); } </script>  <div id="g-popup-reg" class="popup-reg" style="display:none;"> <div class="bd"> <iframe src="about:blank" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> <a href="#" class="lnk-close">×</a> </div> </div> <div id="landing-bar" style="display:none;"> <div class="bd"> <p>在这里发现跟你一样特别的人，并与之交流...</p> <div class="operation"> <a href="" class="j a_show_register">注册</a> <a href="" class="j a_show_login">登录</a> </div> <div class="item item-3rd"> <label> 第三方登录： </label> <a target="_top" href="https://www.douban.com/accounts/connect/qq/?from=group&redir=https%3A//www.douban.com/accounts/join_and_redir%3Fgroup_id%3D705099" class="item-qq" title="QQ"></a> <a target="_top" href="https://www.douban.com/accounts/connect/sina_weibo/?from=group&redir=https%3A//www.douban.com/accounts/join_and_redir%3Fgroup_id%3D705099&fallback=https://www.douban.com/group/guilv/" class="item-weibo" title="新浪微博"></a> </div> <a href="#" class="lnk-close">×</a> </div> </div> <script> var login_url = 'https://accounts.douban.com/popup/login?source=group'; var reg_url = 'https://accounts.douban.com/popup/login?source=group#popup_register'; </script> <script>_SPLITTEST=''</script> </body> </html>

CINXE.COM

如何成为一个说话大家都想听并且只想和你做朋友的人