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What Is A Lawnmower Parent — And Are You One? | Across America, US Patch
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href="http://www.nextdoor.com/sharekit?source=Patch&body=What%20Is%20A%20Lawnmower%20Parent%20%E2%80%94%20And%20Are%20You%20One%3F https://patch.com/us/across-america/what-lawnmower-parent-are-you-one%3Futm_source%3Dnextdoor%26utm_medium%3Dweb%26utm_campaign%3Dshare" class="styles_SocialShare__Action__r4Xic styles_SocialShare__Action--nextdoor__edbQJ"><i class="fa fa-nextdoor styles_SocialShare__Icon__dJazc"></i></a><a target="_blank" alt="Send email" title="Send email" href="mailto:?subject=What%20Is%20A%20Lawnmower%20Parent%20%E2%80%94%20And%20Are%20You%20One%3F&body=You%27ve%20heard%20of%20the%20helicopter%20parent%2C%20but%20there%27s%20a%20new%20term%20sweeping%20the%20playgrounds.%20Are%20you%20guilty%20of%20it%3F%0D%0A%0D%0Ahttps://patch.com/us/across-america/what-lawnmower-parent-are-you-one%3Futm_source%3Dshared-email%26utm_medium%3Demail%26utm_campaign%3Dshare" class="styles_SocialShare__Action__r4Xic styles_SocialShare__Action--email__graN_"><i class="fa fa-envelope styles_SocialShare__Icon__dJazc"></i></a></div><article class="styles_Section__card__4Uoov"><div class="styles_CardDetail__Header__GQxrS"><h6><a href="/us/across-america/kids-family" class="Label_CardDetail__topicLabel__Pdhoj Link_Link__pj9SR">Kids & Family </a></h6><h1 class="Title_CardDetail__Title__gl_p8">What Is A Lawnmower Parent — And Are You One?</h1><h2 class="styles_CardDetail__Description__KnSxe">You've heard of the helicopter parent, but there's a new term sweeping the playgrounds. Are you guilty of it?</h2><div class="styles_BylineSection__GMjy9"><div class="styles_BylineSummary__AvatarContainer__X63OE"><div class="styles_BylineSummary__Avatar__LGydx" style="z-index:10"><img alt="Ilana Donna's profile picture" class="avatar-img avatar-img--base is-lazy-loaded" src="data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAEAAAABCAQAAAC1HAwCAAAAC0lEQVR42mP8/x8AAwMCAO+ip1sAAAAASUVORK5CYII="/><noscript><img alt="Ilana Donna's profile picture" class="avatar-img avatar-img--base" src="https://patch.com/img/cdn20/users/626728/profile_pics/styles/large/public/headshot2___28152900750.jpg?width=64"/></noscript></div></div><h6 class="styles_BylineSection__bylines__C2clA"><div class="styles_BylineSummary__1Gl_U"><a href="/users/ilana-arazie" class="styles_BylineSummary__Link__5UiLW"><strong>Ilana Donna</strong>, </a><span>Patch Contributing Writer</span><span class="styles_Badges__lhHGg styles_Badges--small__t9shf"><img alt="Verified Patch Staff Badge" class="styles_Badge__PNwMX is-lazy-loaded" src="data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAEAAAABCAQAAAC1HAwCAAAAC0lEQVR42mP8/x8AAwMCAO+ip1sAAAAASUVORK5CYII="/><noscript><img alt="Verified Patch Staff Badge" class="styles_Badge__PNwMX" src="https://patch.com/img/cdn/assets/layout/badges/verified-patch-staff.svg"/></noscript></span></div></h6></div><div class="styles_Dateline__Yahhb"><time dateTime="2018-10-24T18:10:51Z">Posted <!-- -->Wed, Oct 24, 2018 at 2:10 pm ET</time></div><div class="Row_CardDetail__Row__BYg88"></div></div><div class="styles_FeaturedMedia__rAu_E"><figure><style data-emotion="css 79elbk">.css-79elbk{position:relative;}</style><div class="MuiBox-root css-79elbk"><img class="styles_CardDetail__FeaturedImage__MlywD" src="https://patch.com/img/cdn20/users/626728/20181024/015258/styles/raw/public/processed_images/fort_green_park_playground_kathleen_culliton-1540403564-6127.jpg" srcSet="https://patch.com/img/cdn20/users/626728/20181024/015258/styles/raw/public/processed_images/fort_green_park_playground_kathleen_culliton-1540403564-6127.jpg?width=640 640w, https://patch.com/img/cdn20/users/626728/20181024/015258/styles/raw/public/processed_images/fort_green_park_playground_kathleen_culliton-1540403564-6127.jpg?width=1200 1200w" sizes="(min-width: 780px) 726px, 100vw" width="700" height="525"/></div></figure></div><div class="styles_HTMLContent__LDG2k"><p>Just when I <em>finally </em>figured out what a helicopter parent is (read: those overprotective caregivers who swoop in every time their child has a problem), there’s a new term to describe that parent on the playground who you secretly hate: the "lawnmower parent." Lawnmower parents are guilty of mowing down any and all challenges, conflicts or struggles their children might experience.</p></div><div class="js-ad ContentBlocks_CardDetail__AdBlock__GpVT1"><div id="client_ad_dfp_mobile_slot_1" class="ad ad--styled-margin ad--preview ad--mobile"></div></div><div class="styles_HTMLContent__LDG2k"><p>These parents might, for example, reschedule their child’s exam or even send a note to their child’s teacher asking them to blow on their kid’s lunch if too hot. True story!</p> <p>The term was recently coined after an anonymous educator wrote an essay on <a href="https://www.weareteachers.com/lawnmower-parents/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Weareteachers.com</a> about a dad who showed up at school with an expensive water bottle after getting many texts from his child. Clearly, the water fountains and regular cups of water at school didn’t cut it for his teenager.<br /></p></div><div class="ContentBlocks_CardDetail__SubscribeBlock__4zBcQ ContentBlocks_CardDetail__SubscribeBlock--mobile__18tT_"><section class="styles_SubscribeForm__0dj5n"><h2 class="styles_SubscribeForm__title__F_olP">Find out what's happening in Across America<span class="styles_SubscribeForm__title--nextLine__FTO3K">with free, real-time updates from Patch.</span></h2><div class="styles_SubscribeForm__body__3Usxf"><form class="styles_Card__Form__XLoCT"><div class="styles_Card__FormInner__EMDdU"><input type="email" value="" class="styles_SubscribeForm__input__3JKNM" aria-label="Enter your email address" autoComplete="email" placeholder="Your email address" required=""/><button class="styles_SubscribeForm__submit__Tl0Kv" type="submit">Subscribe<i class="fa fa-spinner icon icon--space-left spin styles_SubscribeForm__spinner__1dpYf"></i></button></div></form></div></section></div><div class="js-ad ContentBlocks_CardDetail__AdBlock__GpVT1 ContentBlocks_CardDetail__AdBlock--native__M_lBb ContentBlocks_CardDetail__AdBlock--desktop__70SV6"><div id="artcl_1" class="ad ad--native ad--styled-margin"></div></div><div class="styles_HTMLContent__LDG2k"><p>The educator writes, "I took a deep breath through my nose. 'Oh, I have one of those (teenagers) — I love mine, too,' I said. But I’m pretty sure my eyes were saying, 'WHAT ON THIS ACTUAL EARTH.'" </p> <p>This story was shared over 12,000 times with many other similar parenting stories posted by supporters.</p></div><div class="js-ad ContentBlocks_CardDetail__AdBlock__GpVT1"><div id="client_ad_dfp_mobile_slot_2" class="ad ad--styled-margin ad--preview ad--mobile"></div></div><div class="ContentBlocks_CardDetail__SubscribeBlock__4zBcQ ContentBlocks_CardDetail__SubscribeBlock--desktop__oN6vv"><section class="styles_SubscribeForm__0dj5n"><h2 class="styles_SubscribeForm__title__F_olP">Find out what's happening in Across America<span class="styles_SubscribeForm__title--nextLine__FTO3K">with free, real-time updates from Patch.</span></h2><div class="styles_SubscribeForm__body__3Usxf"><form class="styles_Card__Form__XLoCT"><div class="styles_Card__FormInner__EMDdU"><input type="email" value="" class="styles_SubscribeForm__input__3JKNM" aria-label="Enter your email address" autoComplete="email" placeholder="Your email address" required=""/><button class="styles_SubscribeForm__submit__Tl0Kv" type="submit">Subscribe<i class="fa fa-spinner icon icon--space-left spin styles_SubscribeForm__spinner__1dpYf"></i></button></div></form></div></section></div><div class="styles_HTMLContent__LDG2k"><p>And who am I kidding? I've probably been guilty of being both a helicopter parent <em>and</em> a lawnmower parent, even though my child is only 3 years old. I want my kid to live his best life, so, um, yes I might have tried to get others to blow on my kid’s sweet potato fries when I wasn't there. But I need to stop this behavior immediately if I ever want him to move out of the house and cook his own meals one day. </p> <p>Clinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Cohen says, “I have the experience of seeing adults who have had lawnmower parents and now have difficulty handling basic life struggles. For example, they have anxiety and can’t communicate well with their bosses or friends. They also have such high expectations of people in their life, expecting everyone to be like their overly-involved parents. When parents sweep in to avoid conflict, then we lose an incredibly important skill of handling frustration and disappointment and moving through an experience with another person. In relationships, it’s not about the ruptures we have, but the repair where the real work lands."</p></div><div class="js-ad ContentBlocks_CardDetail__AdBlock__GpVT1"><div id="client_ad_dfp_mobile_slot_3" class="ad ad--styled-margin ad--preview ad--mobile"></div></div><div class="styles_HTMLContent__LDG2k"><p>She’s right: Letting our kids experience conflict and challenges helps them grow and is just what they need. Sure, they might be distraught in the moment and give us hell for a few hours, but in the end they will be better people. When I look back on it, I have also been on the other side of the lawn. My mother used to write my elementary school papers because I was “too tired.” This scheme worked great until I got called into the principal's office after I handed in an essay titled, “Existentialism Revealed" in the fourth grade. Oops. </p> <p>While most lawnmower parents emerge during their children's teenage years, many toddler parents are slowly developing their yards as we speak — myself included. The other morning, my kid was trying to be friendly to another toddler who was sitting on a big dinosaur structure in his school’s yard. My boy asked him if he could climb up next to him. The toddler yelled, "No, go away!" Next thing I knew, I was having flashbacks to my elementary-school classmate Irene pulling me with my hair into the toilet. I suddenly found myself in protection mode and snapped back at the unfriendly toddler, saying, “Be nice and play with my kid!” That was probably the wrong response. </p></div><div class="js-ad ContentBlocks_CardDetail__AdBlock__GpVT1 ContentBlocks_CardDetail__AdBlock--native__M_lBb"><div id="artcl_m1" class="ad ad--styled-margin"></div></div><div class="styles_HTMLContent__LDG2k"><p>Of course, this is not about me, and I’m am not reliving my childhood through my toddler. That would be silly! (Laughs nervously...)</p> <p>But Cohen says this reaction is not out of the ordinary. "You see this on the playground all the time," she says. "Two kids want to play with the same toy and a parent brings two toys with them so they won’t argue over one, avoiding conflict or frustration. By doing that they miss out on teaching their kids how to communicate, problem and solve and tolerate frustration."</p> <p>If you find yourself in lawnmower parent mode, Cohen suggests you first take a breath and then ask yourself these questions:</p> <ul><li>Is this really necessary? Will my child live if I allow them to have this experience?</li> <li>What can my child learn if I allow him or her to have the frustration? What is the life lesson here?</li> <li>Do I want to be doing this when my child is in college? This behavior doesn’t end when your child gets older. Feeling the need to sweep in and get rid of your kid's pain to show love doesn't automatically go away over time. Work on changing this behavior now before it's too late. </li> </ul><p>Learning how to tolerate the discomfort of your kid being uncomfortable isn't easy, but it might be necessary if you want to raise an emotionally healthy child — or a kid who wants to move out of your house and do his own laundry when he is 18. Keep those extra toys at home and allow your child to figure out how to handle those kids on dinosaurs. They just might surprise you.</p> <hr /><p><em>Photo credit: Kathleen Culliton/Patch</em></p></div><div class="js-ad ContentBlocks_CardDetail__AdBlock__GpVT1"><div id="client_ad_dfp_mobile_slot_4" class="ad ad--styled-margin ad--preview"></div></div><div class="styles_HTMLContent__LDG2k"><p></p></div><div class="ContentBlocks_CardDetail__ContentBlock__xN30Y"><div></div></div><p class="styles_HTMLContent__LDG2k SubscribeCTABlurb_SubscribeCTABlurb__M_Azu"><hr/>Get more local news delivered straight to your inbox.<!-- --> <a target="_blank" href="/subscribe" class="">Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts.</a></p><div class="styles_CardDetail__Footer__6KH1g"><div class="styles_ActionBar__X7IpK"><div class="styles_ActionBar__BarLeft__tNiSc"><button aria-label="thank" class="Button_ActionBar__Button__bPA9K Button_ActionBar__Button--thank__1uapr" type="button"><span class="Button_ActionBar__Icon__QkOaK "><i class="fa fa-heart-fal"></i></span><span class="Button_ActionBar__Label__INNWl">Thank<!-- --> (2)</span></button><div class="styles_ShareDropdown__TzLvU"><button id="article_card_detail:27779704__share-toggle" class="Button_ActionBar__Button__bPA9K Button_ActionBar__Button--share__kqabD"><span class="Button_ActionBar__Icon__QkOaK"><i class="fa fa-share-all-light"></i></span><span class="Button_ActionBar__Label__INNWl" aria-label="New! 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Are you guilty of it?","created":"2018-10-24T18:10:51Z","updated":"2018-10-24T18:10:51Z","author":{"id":626728,"name":"Ilana Donna","profilePicture":"https://patch.com/img/cdn20/users/626728/profile_pics/styles/large/public/headshot2___28152900750.jpg","alias":"/users/ilana-arazie","neighborPoints":0,"rid":10},"patch":{"email":"national@patch.com","twitterUrl":"https://twitter.com/PatchTweet","categoryMenuEnabled":true,"dma":"patchusa","homePageType":"tiles","pinningEnabled":true,"model":"mature","facebookUrl":"https://facebook.com/57421062540","shortName":"Across America","grade":"A","wbs":"US_US_ACROSSAMERICA","slug":"across-america","siteMapEnabled":true,"covered":"no","timezone":"America/New_York","editor":{"id":"25951560","name":"Patch Team Manager","email":"sproutteammanager@patch.com","alias":"/users/sprout-team-manager"},"alias":"/us/across-america","id":10934,"name":"Across America","region":{"id":2751,"name":"US","alias":"/us/across-america","abbreviation":"US"},"type":"national"},"shortTitle":"Are You a Helicopter or Lawnmower Parent?","evergreen":false,"originalContent":false,"canonicalUrl":"/us/across-america/what-lawnmower-parent-are-you-one","flags":{"thankCount":2,"spamCount":0,"offensiveCount":0,"notLocalCount":0,"disagreeCount":0,"promotionalCount":0,"unverifiedCount":0},"replyCount":1,"totalReplies":1,"repliesEnabled":true,"tags":[],"additionalBylines":[],"titleEmail":"What Is A Lawnmower Parent — And Are You One?","titleSocial":"What Is A Lawnmower Parent — And Are You One?","images":[{"url":"https://patch.com/img/cdn20/users/626728/20181024/015258/styles/raw/public/processed_images/fort_green_park_playground_kathleen_culliton-1540403564-6127.jpg"}],"imageThumbnail":"https://patch.com/img/cdn20/users/626728/20181024/015258/styles/raw/public/processed_images/fort_green_park_playground_kathleen_culliton-1540403564-6127.jpg","contentKeywords":[],"contentIABCategories":[],"type":"article","itemAlias":"/us/across-america/what-lawnmower-parent-are-you-one","topic":{"id":3036,"name":"Kids \u0026 Family ","alias":"/us/across-america/kids-family"},"category":"news","ampAlias":"/us/across-america/amp/27779704/what-is-a-lawnmower-parent-and-are-you-one","isShared":false,"relCanonicalUrl":"/us/across-america/what-lawnmower-parent-are-you-one","shouldRenderAmpLink":false,"indexArticle":true,"enableAds":true,"preHeader":"Just when I finally figured out what a helicopter parent is (read: those overprotective caregivers who swoop in every time their child has a problem), there\u0026rsquo;s a new term to describe that parent ","statusFlags":{"isSpecialPin":false,"isTopStories":false,"isMostRecent":true,"isBreakingNews":false,"isExternal":false,"isDailyDigest":false,"isRobot":false,"isPressRelease":false,"isSponsoredContent":false,"isStaffContent":true,"isNewsPartnerContent":false,"isNeighborContent":false},"body":"\u003cp\u003eJust when I \u003cem\u003efinally \u003c/em\u003efigured out what a helicopter parent is (read: those overprotective caregivers who swoop in every time their child has a problem), there's a new term to describe that parent on the playground who you secretly hate: the \"lawnmower parent.\" Lawnmower parents are guilty of mowing down any and all challenges, conflicts or struggles their children might experience.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThese parents might, for example, reschedule their child's exam or even send a note to their child's teacher asking them to blow on their kid's lunch if too hot. True story!\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThe term was recently coined after an anonymous educator wrote an essay on \u003ca href=\"https://www.weareteachers.com/lawnmower-parents/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eWeareteachers.com\u003c/a\u003e about a dad who showed up at school with an expensive water bottle after getting many texts from his child. Clearly, the water fountains and regular cups of water at school didn't cut it for his teenager.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThe educator writes, \"I took a deep breath through my nose. 'Oh, I have one of those (teenagers) — I love mine, too,' I said. But I'm pretty sure my eyes were saying, 'WHAT ON THIS ACTUAL EARTH.'\" \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThis story was shared over 12,000 times with many other similar parenting stories posted by supporters.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eAnd who am I kidding? I've probably been guilty of being both a helicopter parent \u003cem\u003eand\u003c/em\u003e a lawnmower parent, even though my child is only 3 years old. I want my kid to live his best life, so, um, yes I might have tried to get others to blow on my kid's sweet potato fries when I wasn't there. But I need to stop this behavior immediately if I ever want him to move out of the house and cook his own meals one day. \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eClinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Cohen says, \"I have the experience of seeing adults who have had lawnmower parents and now have difficulty handling basic life struggles. For example, they have anxiety and can't communicate well with their bosses or friends. They also have such high expectations of people in their life, expecting everyone to be like their overly-involved parents. When parents sweep in to avoid conflict, then we lose an incredibly important skill of handling frustration and disappointment and moving through an experience with another person. In relationships, it's not about the ruptures we have, but the repair where the real work lands.\"\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eShe's right: Letting our kids experience conflict and challenges helps them grow and is just what they need. Sure, they might be distraught in the moment and give us hell for a few hours, but in the end they will be better people. When I look back on it, I have also been on the other side of the lawn. My mother used to write my elementary school papers because I was \"too tired.\" This scheme worked great until I got called into the principal's office after I handed in an essay titled, \"Existentialism Revealed\" in the fourth grade. Oops. \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eWhile most lawnmower parents emerge during their children's teenage years, many toddler parents are slowly developing their yards as we speak — myself included. The other morning, my kid was trying to be friendly to another toddler who was sitting on a big dinosaur structure in his school's yard. My boy asked him if he could climb up next to him. The toddler yelled, \"No, go away!\" Next thing I knew, I was having flashbacks to my elementary-school classmate Irene pulling me with my hair into the toilet. I suddenly found myself in protection mode and snapped back at the unfriendly toddler, saying, \"Be nice and play with my kid!\" That was probably the wrong response. \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eOf course, this is not about me, and I'm am not reliving my childhood through my toddler. That would be silly! (Laughs nervously...)\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eBut Cohen says this reaction is not out of the ordinary. \"You see this on the playground all the time,\" she says. \"Two kids want to play with the same toy and a parent brings two toys with them so they won't argue over one, avoiding conflict or frustration. By doing that they miss out on teaching their kids how to communicate, problem and solve and tolerate frustration.\"\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eIf you find yourself in lawnmower parent mode, Cohen suggests you first take a breath and then ask yourself these questions:\u003c/p\u003e \u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003eIs this really necessary? Will my child live if I allow them to have this experience?\u003c/li\u003e \u003cli\u003eWhat can my child learn if I allow him or her to have the frustration? What is the life lesson here?\u003c/li\u003e \u003cli\u003eDo I want to be doing this when my child is in college? This behavior doesn't end when your child gets older. Feeling the need to sweep in and get rid of your kid's pain to show love doesn't automatically go away over time. Work on changing this behavior now before it's too late. \u003c/li\u003e \u003c/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eLearning how to tolerate the discomfort of your kid being uncomfortable isn't easy, but it might be necessary if you want to raise an emotionally healthy child — or a kid who wants to move out of your house and do his own laundry when he is 18. Keep those extra toys at home and allow your child to figure out how to handle those kids on dinosaurs. They just might surprise you.\u003c/p\u003e \u003chr /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003ePhoto credit: Kathleen Culliton/Patch\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","contentBlocks":[{"content":"\u003cp\u003eJust when I \u003cem\u003efinally \u003c/em\u003efigured out what a helicopter parent is (read: those overprotective caregivers who swoop in every time their child has a problem), there’s a new term to describe that parent on the playground who you secretly hate: the \"lawnmower parent.\" Lawnmower parents are guilty of mowing down any and all challenges, conflicts or struggles their children might experience.\u003c/p\u003e","key":"html:0","type":"html"},{"content":"client_ad_dfp_mobile_slot_1","key":"advertisement:client_ad_dfp_mobile_slot_1","type":"advertisement"},{"content":"\u003cp\u003eThese parents might, for example, reschedule their child’s exam or even send a note to their child’s teacher asking them to blow on their kid’s lunch if too hot. True story!\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThe term was recently coined after an anonymous educator wrote an essay on \u003ca href=\"https://www.weareteachers.com/lawnmower-parents/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"\u003eWeareteachers.com\u003c/a\u003e about a dad who showed up at school with an expensive water bottle after getting many texts from his child. Clearly, the water fountains and regular cups of water at school didn’t cut it for his teenager.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003c/p\u003e","key":"html:2","type":"html"},{"device":"mobile","key":"subscribe:mobile","type":"subscribe"},{"content":"artcl_1","key":"advertisement:artcl_1","type":"advertisement"},{"content":"\u003cp\u003eThe educator writes, \"I took a deep breath through my nose. 'Oh, I have one of those (teenagers) — I love mine, too,' I said. But I’m pretty sure my eyes were saying, 'WHAT ON THIS ACTUAL EARTH.'\" \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThis story was shared over 12,000 times with many other similar parenting stories posted by supporters.\u003c/p\u003e","key":"html:5","type":"html"},{"content":"client_ad_dfp_mobile_slot_2","key":"advertisement:client_ad_dfp_mobile_slot_2","type":"advertisement"},{"device":"desktop","key":"subscribe:desktop","type":"subscribe"},{"content":"\u003cp\u003eAnd who am I kidding? I've probably been guilty of being both a helicopter parent \u003cem\u003eand\u003c/em\u003e a lawnmower parent, even though my child is only 3 years old. I want my kid to live his best life, so, um, yes I might have tried to get others to blow on my kid’s sweet potato fries when I wasn't there. But I need to stop this behavior immediately if I ever want him to move out of the house and cook his own meals one day. \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eClinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Cohen says, “I have the experience of seeing adults who have had lawnmower parents and now have difficulty handling basic life struggles. For example, they have anxiety and can’t communicate well with their bosses or friends. They also have such high expectations of people in their life, expecting everyone to be like their overly-involved parents. When parents sweep in to avoid conflict, then we lose an incredibly important skill of handling frustration and disappointment and moving through an experience with another person. In relationships, it’s not about the ruptures we have, but the repair where the real work lands.\"\u003c/p\u003e","key":"html:8","type":"html"},{"content":"client_ad_dfp_mobile_slot_3","key":"advertisement:client_ad_dfp_mobile_slot_3","type":"advertisement"},{"content":"\u003cp\u003eShe’s right: Letting our kids experience conflict and challenges helps them grow and is just what they need. Sure, they might be distraught in the moment and give us hell for a few hours, but in the end they will be better people. When I look back on it, I have also been on the other side of the lawn. My mother used to write my elementary school papers because I was “too tired.” This scheme worked great until I got called into the principal's office after I handed in an essay titled, “Existentialism Revealed\" in the fourth grade. Oops. \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eWhile most lawnmower parents emerge during their children's teenage years, many toddler parents are slowly developing their yards as we speak — myself included. The other morning, my kid was trying to be friendly to another toddler who was sitting on a big dinosaur structure in his school’s yard. My boy asked him if he could climb up next to him. The toddler yelled, \"No, go away!\" Next thing I knew, I was having flashbacks to my elementary-school classmate Irene pulling me with my hair into the toilet. I suddenly found myself in protection mode and snapped back at the unfriendly toddler, saying, “Be nice and play with my kid!” That was probably the wrong response. \u003c/p\u003e","key":"html:10","type":"html"},{"content":"artcl_m1","key":"advertisement:artcl_m1","type":"advertisement"},{"content":"\u003cp\u003eOf course, this is not about me, and I’m am not reliving my childhood through my toddler. That would be silly! (Laughs nervously...)\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eBut Cohen says this reaction is not out of the ordinary. \"You see this on the playground all the time,\" she says. \"Two kids want to play with the same toy and a parent brings two toys with them so they won’t argue over one, avoiding conflict or frustration. By doing that they miss out on teaching their kids how to communicate, problem and solve and tolerate frustration.\"\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eIf you find yourself in lawnmower parent mode, Cohen suggests you first take a breath and then ask yourself these questions:\u003c/p\u003e \u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003eIs this really necessary? Will my child live if I allow them to have this experience?\u003c/li\u003e \u003cli\u003eWhat can my child learn if I allow him or her to have the frustration? What is the life lesson here?\u003c/li\u003e \u003cli\u003eDo I want to be doing this when my child is in college? This behavior doesn’t end when your child gets older. Feeling the need to sweep in and get rid of your kid's pain to show love doesn't automatically go away over time. Work on changing this behavior now before it's too late. \u003c/li\u003e \u003c/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eLearning how to tolerate the discomfort of your kid being uncomfortable isn't easy, but it might be necessary if you want to raise an emotionally healthy child — or a kid who wants to move out of your house and do his own laundry when he is 18. Keep those extra toys at home and allow your child to figure out how to handle those kids on dinosaurs. 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