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<div class="dfp-ad dfp-interstitial" id="div-gpt-ad-interstitial" style="visibility:hidden"> <div class="htlad-interstitial" data-unit='denverpost.com/advice/interstitial' data-targeting=''></div> </div> <div class="dfp-ad dfp-top_leaderboard" id="div-gpt-ad-top_leaderboard" style="visibility:hidden"> <div class="htlad-top_leaderboard" data-unit='denverpost.com/advice/top_leaderboard' data-targeting=''></div> </div> </div> <div id="primary" class="content-area"><main id="main" class="site-main" role="main"> <article id="post-1033391" class="full-view post-1033391 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-advice category-ask-amy category-lifestyle"> <header class="entry-header article-header"> <div class="header-title-area"><div class="breadcrumbs"> <h2><a href="https://www.denverpost.com/advice/" class="category-advice">Advice</a></h2></div> <div class="headline-area"><div class="headlines"> <h1 class="entry-title"> <span class="dfm-title"> Help 10-year-old girls stop obsessing about their bodies </span> </h1> </div></div><div class="article-share" id="sharing-top"><div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing"><h3 class="sd-title">Share this:</h3><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-shared="sharing-facebook-1033391" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon no-text" href="https://www.denverpost.com/2007/07/23/help-10-year-old-girls-stop-obsessing-about-their-bodies/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Click to share on Facebook" ><span></span><span class="sharing-screen-reader-text">Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)</span></a></li><li class="share-reddit"><a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-shared="" class="share-reddit sd-button share-icon no-text" href="https://www.denverpost.com/2007/07/23/help-10-year-old-girls-stop-obsessing-about-their-bodies/?share=reddit" target="_blank" title="Click to share on Reddit" ><span></span><span class="sharing-screen-reader-text">Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-shared="sharing-twitter-1033391" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text" href="https://www.denverpost.com/2007/07/23/help-10-year-old-girls-stop-obsessing-about-their-bodies/?share=twitter" target="_blank" title="Click to share on Twitter" ><span></span><span class="sharing-screen-reader-text">Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)</span></a></li><li class="share-end"></li></ul></div></div></div></div></div></header><div class="article-content"><div class="article-content-wrapper"><div class="header-features"><div class="dfm-featured-top-flex-container"></div><div class="meta"><img class="avatar avatar-85 photo coauthor-avatar lazyload size-85x85" data-sizes="auto" data-src="https://www.denverpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/amy-dickinson.jpg?w=85" data-srcset="https://www.denverpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/amy-dickinson.jpg?w=85 85w" alt="Portrait of advice columnist Amy Dickinson"><img alt='Author' src='https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/?s=85&d=mm&r=g' srcset='https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/?s=170&d=mm&r=g 2x' class='avatar avatar-85 photo avatar-default coauthor-avatar' height='85' width='85' /><div class="coauthor-avatar-container"><div class="byline">By <a href="https://www.denverpost.com/author/amy-dickinson/" title="Posts by Amy Dickinson" class=" author-name" rel="author">Amy Dickinson</a> | <a href="mailto:askamy@amydickinson.com">askamy@amydickinson.com</a> | Chicago Tribune</pre> and <a href="https://www.denverpost.com/author/tribune-media-services/" title="Posts by Tribune Media Services" class=" author-name" rel="author">Tribune Media Services</a> | Tribune Media Services</pre></div><div class="time">PUBLISHED: <time datetime="2007-07-23 12:26:31">July 23, 2007 at 12:26 PM MST</time></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body"><div class="body-copy"><div class="wp-remixd-voice-wrapper"><script type="text/javascript" id="remixd-audio-player-script" src="https://tags.remixd.com/player/v5/index.js?cb=%%CACHEBUSTER%%" charset="utf-8" async></script></div><p><b>Dear Amy:</b> I am the nanny of two 10-year-old girls this summer, and I am concerned with comments they have made about their looks. <p>Both are normal-size, healthy girls with regular bodies, but I have heard them say how fat they think they are at least five or six times. </p><p>One time one girl complained about her “big belly,” and the other said, “I need to work out soooo bad. I’m so fat.” Amy, these girls are 10! After they say these things, I always tell them that they aren’t fat, that they are a healthy size and beautiful girls. </p><p>I am wondering if this is the proper way to handle this kind of talk, or what I could possibly do to make these girls believe that they are healthy and not fat. </p><p>I do not want them to suffer the same self-esteem issues so many women (including myself) face. </p><p><i>– Wondering in Illinois </i></p><script id="53dc615cb2ec4b408494411ccfeda4f2"> (new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=f384b842-c773-40a8-96ff-929756153fae&cid=1ffe15d6-eb53-11e9-b4d2-06948452ae1a'; cnx.cmd.push( function() { cnx( { playerId: "f384b842-c773-40a8-96ff-929756153fae" } ).render( "53dc615cb2ec4b408494411ccfeda4f2" ); } );</script><p><b>Dear Wondering:</b> You are right to be concerned about this, and you are responding to these girls just as you should. You can help further by exposing them to positive girl role models, rather than the stick-insect pop tarts and cultural “icons” currently in vogue. </p><p>If your summer charges haven’t yet started the “Harry Potter” books, now would be a good time to read J.K Rowling’s “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (1998, Scholastic) with them. The Hermione character is one that any 10-year-old girl should emulate. On TV lately, I’m enjoying “Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide” on Nickelodeon. The character Moze is a girl who is tough, savvy and funny. </p><div class="dfp-ad dfp-cube_article" id="div-gpt-ad-cube_article" style="visibility:hidden"> <div class="htlad-cube_article" data-unit="denverpost.com/advice/cube_article" data-targeting=""></div> </div><p>Adolescent girls should be encouraged to be smart and creative problem-solvers, not miniature workout queens. </p><p>Obviously, let a parent know what you’re observing. Unfortunately, the girls might be re-creating talk that they hear at home. You would be doing these young girls a service to let them know that the content of their character is always going to be the most important thing to you. They’re watching and learning from you all the time they’re with you. </p><p><b>… </b></p><p><b>Dear Amy:</b> I am having surgery soon to replace a worn-out hip joint. </p><p>While I’m delighted that this problem can be surgically corrected, I simply don’t want to discuss it, except with close friends and co-workers, should they ask. </p><p>Others whom I don’t know well are always asking me why I’m limping. </p><p>If I tell them why, they respond with a barrage of questions and advice. They ask who the surgeon is, then recommend someone else. They ask what hospital I’m going to, and then tell me who got an infection at that hospital, etc. </p><p>How rude do I have to be to get them to leave me alone? </p><p><i>– Closed Mouth in Alaska </i></p><p><b>Dear Closed Mouth:</b> Sometimes, playing semi-dumb can work to reflect back a person’s rudeness. </p><p>Here’s an example: When someone asks the third or fourth question after you’ve said you don’t want to discuss your business, you can say, say, “Thanks for caring, but I’ve just got to limp along.” And off you go. </p><p>Good luck with your surgery, and remember this lesson after you’ve recovered. When weighing in on an issue that you’re passionate about, a person can say, “I’ve been through this and would be happy to talk with you if you want. Just let me know.” </p><p><b>… </b></p><p><b>Dear Amy:</b> “Not Enough Hours in Atlanta” doesn’t think that mowing the lawn at 8 a.m. on a Sunday is inconsiderate. The point is not whether the person doing the noisy mowing at that hour thinks she/he is inconsiderate. The point is that the neighbors who are trying to sleep just a bit late on that Sunday morning find it highly inconsiderate. If people would only put themselves in their neighbors’ shoes (I won’t say beds!) once in a while, these behaviors might change. I doubt it, but one can hope. </p><p><i>– Ruth in Rochester, N.Y. </i></p><p><b>Dear Ruth:</b> Let me paraphrase Emily Dickinson’s famous line and agree with you by saying that, on summer weekend mornings, “Hope is the thing with silently cycling blades.” </p><p><em>Send questions via e-mail to <a href="mailto:askamy@tribune.com">askamy@tribune.com</a> or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.</em></p></p> </div></div><div class="article-bottom-share"><div class="article-share" id="sharing-bottom" ><div class="sharedaddy sd-sharing-enabled"><div class="robots-nocontent sd-block sd-social sd-social-icon sd-sharing"><h3 class="sd-title">Share this:</h3><div class="sd-content"><ul><li class="share-facebook"><a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-shared="sharing-facebook-1033391" class="share-facebook sd-button share-icon no-text" href="https://www.denverpost.com/2007/07/23/help-10-year-old-girls-stop-obsessing-about-their-bodies/?share=facebook" target="_blank" title="Click to share on Facebook" ><span></span><span class="sharing-screen-reader-text">Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)</span></a></li><li class="share-reddit"><a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-shared="" class="share-reddit sd-button share-icon no-text" href="https://www.denverpost.com/2007/07/23/help-10-year-old-girls-stop-obsessing-about-their-bodies/?share=reddit" target="_blank" title="Click to share on Reddit" ><span></span><span class="sharing-screen-reader-text">Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)</span></a></li><li class="share-twitter"><a rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" data-shared="sharing-twitter-1033391" class="share-twitter sd-button share-icon no-text" href="https://www.denverpost.com/2007/07/23/help-10-year-old-girls-stop-obsessing-about-their-bodies/?share=twitter" target="_blank" title="Click to share on Twitter" ><span></span><span class="sharing-screen-reader-text">Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)</span></a></li><li class="share-end"></li></ul></div></div></div></div> <div id="trust-dropdown" class="dfm-trust-indicators-footer-links"> <div class="trust-indicator-drop"> <img tabindex="0" class="trust-btn" src="https://www.denverpost.com/wp-content/plugins/dfm-trust-indicators/static/images/Trust-Logo-Horizontal.svg" alt="The Trust Project Logo"> <span class="icon-arrow-down" id="icon-caret-trust" > </span> </div> <div id="trust-indicator" class="trust-dropdown-content"> <ul id="menu-trust-indicators" class="menu"><li id="menu-item-3929625" class="menu-item menu-item-type-custom menu-item-object-custom menu-item-3929625"><a href="https://www.denverpost.com/policies-and-standards/">Policies</a></li> <li id="menu-item-3929633" class="menu-item menu-item-type-custom menu-item-object-custom menu-item-3929633"><a href="https://www.denverpost.com/report-an-error/">Report an Error</a></li> <li id="menu-item-3929634" class="menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-3929634"><a href="https://www.denverpost.com/contact-us/">Contact Us</a></li> <li id="menu-item-3929636" class="menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-3929636"><a href="https://www.denverpost.com/news-tips/">Submit a News Tip</a></li> </ul> </div> <script> const dropdownToggle = () => { const arrow = document.getElementById( 'icon-caret-trust' ); 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