The foundational questions that inspire computer languages -- Charlie Harvey

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inspire computer languages</h1> <a rel="bookmark" href="http://charlieharvey.org.uk/page/what_if_languages" class="hidden">Permalink</a> <p class="article-byline"> <em>Written by <span class="author vcard"><span class="fn">Charlie</span></span> on <time class="entry-date published updated" datetime="2016-06-09T09:11:35+00:00">2016-06-09</time></em></p> </header> <div class="social-block-div"> <ul class="no-decoration" id="social-block">  <li><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=I’m%20reading%20The%20foundational%20questions%20that%20inspire%20computer%20languages%20—%20&url=http://charlieharvey.org.uk/page/what_if_languages&via=ciderpunx&related=ciderpunx" class="sprite twitter">Share on Twitter</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://charlieharvey.org.uk/page/what_if_languages&t=I’m%20reading%20The%20foundational%20questions%20that%20inspire%20computer%20languages" class="sprite facebook">Share on Facebook</a></li> <li><a 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href="/page/geekery">Geekery</a></li> <li> <span class="tinytext glyphicon glyphicon-arrow-down"></span> <a href="/page/fun_and_games">Fun & Games</a> <ul class="navtree-sub no-decoration"><li><span class="tinytext glyphicon glyphicon-arrow-right"></span>The foundational questions that inspire computer languages</li></ul> <li><span class="tinytext glyphicon glyphicon-arrow-right"></span><a href="/page/activism">Activism</a></li> </ul> </li> </ul>  </aside> </div> <div class="entry-content"> <p>I came across a very amusing image the other day, dealing with the questions that various popular programming languages seek to answer. There is a nice <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/4mo21b/true_descriptions_of_languages/">thread on reddit</a> with some extra suggestions to include in the list too.</p> <div><img class="bordered fullwidth" alt="What if languages" src="//static.charlieharvey.org.uk/graphics/what-if-languages.jpg"></div> <p>Here is a transcription.</p> <p>Python: What if everything was a dict?</p> <p>Java: What if everything was an object?</p> <p>JavaScript: What if everything was a dict <em>and</em> an object?</p> <p>C: What if everything was a pointer?</p> <p>APL: What if everything was an array?</p> <p>Tcl: What if everything was a string?</p> <p>Prolog: What if everything was a term?</p> <p>LISP: What if everything was a pair?</p> <p>Scheme: What if everything was a function?</p> <p>Haskell: What if everything was a monad?</p> <p>Assembly: What if everything was a register?</p> <p>Coq: What if everything was a type/proposition?</p> <p>COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE?</p> <p>C#: What if everything was like Java, but different?</p> <p>Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched?</p> <p>Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END</p> <p>C++: What if we added everything to the language?</p> <p>C++11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff?</p> <p>Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist?</p> <p>Go: What if we tried designing C a second time?</p> <p>Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language?</p> <p>Perl6: What if we took the joke too far?</p> <p>PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier?</p> <p>VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program?</p> <p>VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again?</p> <p>Forth: What if everything was a stack?</p> <p>ColorForth: What if the stack was green?</p> <p>PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi?</p> <p>XSLT: What if everything was an XML element?</p> <p>Make: What if everything was a dependency?</p> <p>m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted?</p> <p>Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM?</p> <p>Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM?</p> <p>Lua: What if game developers got tired of C++?</p> <p>Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything?</p> <p>Malbolge: What if there is no god?</p> </div>  <ul class="no-decoration" id="after-article-shares">  <li><a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=I’m%20reading%20The%20foundational%20questions%20that%20inspire%20computer%20languages%20—%20&url=http://charlieharvey.org.uk/page/what_if_languages&via=ciderpunx&related=ciderpunx" class="sprite twitter">Share on Twitter</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=http://charlieharvey.org.uk/page/what_if_languages&t=I’m%20reading%20The%20foundational%20questions%20that%20inspire%20computer%20languages" class="sprite facebook">Share on Facebook</a></li> <li><a href="https://plus.google.com/share?url=http://charlieharvey.org.uk/page/what_if_languages" class="sprite gplus">Share on Google+</a></li> <li><a href="http://news.ycombinator.com/submitlink?u=http://charlieharvey.org.uk/page/what_if_languages&t=The%20foundational%20questions%20that%20inspire%20computer%20languages" class="sprite hackernews">Share on Hacker News</a></li> <li><a href="#comments" class="sprite comment-icon">1</a></li>  </ul>  </article>  <section> <p><a id="comments" href="#"></a><br /></p> <h3>Comments</h3> <div id="comment-form" class="comment"> <form method="post" action="/comment/create" enctype="multipart/form-data"> <div class="comment-detail tinytext"> <ul> <li>Be respectful. 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Full <a href="/page/privacy">privacy statement</a>. </p> </div> <p> <label for="bdy" class="required">Leave a reply:</label><br /> <textarea required name="bdy" rows="5" cols="52" id="bdy" placeholder="Type your comment here"></textarea> </p> <p class="comment-detail"> <input type="hidden" name="page_id" value="472" /> <label for="nick">Name:</label> <input type="text" name="nick" value="" size="45" maxlength="140" id="nick" placeholder="Optional nickname" /> <br /> <label class="required" for="email">Email:</label> <input type="email" placeholder="email@example.com" required name="email" value="" size="45" maxlength="140" id="email" /> <br /> <label for="url">URL:</label> <input type="url" name="url" value="" placeholder="http://example.com" size="45" maxlength="140" id="url" /> <br /> <label for="ctitle">Title:</label> <input type="text" name="ctitle" value="" size="45" maxlength="100" id="ctitle" placeholder="Optional title" /> <br /> </p> <p> <label class="hidden" for="submit">Submit comment: </label> <input type="submit" name="submit" value=" Comment »" class="btn btn-dark btn-lg" id="submit" /> </p> </form> <script> $('.comment-detail').hide(); $('#bdy').focus( function(){ $('.comment-detail').show(); $('#bdy').attr('rows',10); $('#name').focus(); }); </script> </div> <ul> <li class="unstyled-list comment top-bordered">  <article class="comment hentry hreview"> <header> <p class="cid rightfloat"><a href="/comment/835">#835</a></p> <h5 class="author reviewer vcard" rel="author"> <span class="fn">Cody </span> </h5> <h4 class="entry-title hidden">Comment 835</h4> </header> <div class="description entry-content comment-bdy"> <p>I laughed out loud quite a bit at this (as a programmer). Thanks for sharing mate! Love it.</p> <p>Could include things for shells too though nothing comes to mind immediately and I haven't any time to think on it presently. Many others could be done too. Let's throw in OS's too while we're at it. That could be a really fun one to work on.</p> <p>Anyway thanks for this!</p> <p>Cheers, Cody</p> </div> <div class="item hidden"><span class="type">url</span>:<a class="fn url" href="http://charlieharvey.org.uk/page/what_if_languages">The foundational questions that inspire computer languages</a></div> <p class="dtreviewed updated published tinytext auth"> <time class="value-title" title="2018-09-16T18:15:16Z" datetime="2018-09-16T18:15:16Z">2018-09-16</time> </p> </article>  </li> </ul> </section>  <aside class="what-next"> <ul class="row tinytext no-decoration"> <li class="col-sm-4">  <h4>Related links</h4> <ul class="no-decoration"> <li><a href="http://argumate.tumblr.com/post/118013166244/python-what-if-everything-was-a-dict-java-what">On tumblr</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/4mo21b/true_descriptions_of_languages/">Reddit thread</a></li> </ul>  </li> <li class="col-sm-4">  <h4>Recently in <a href="/page/fun_and_games"><em>Fun & 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The foundational questions that inspire computer languages -- Charlie Harvey