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<!DOCTYPE html>    <html class="">  <head> <meta charset="utf-8" /> <meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=edge"/> <meta name="msapplication-config" content="none"/> <title>How to Sustain Your Empathy in Difficult Times</title> <link rel="canonical" href="https://hbr.org/2024/01/how-to-sustain-your-empathy-in-difficult-times"/> <meta name="item-id" content="tag:hbr.org,1922-01-01:202401.369913-R2401C"/> <meta name="issue-id" content="BR2401"/> <meta name="item-name" content="How to Sustain Your Empathy in Difficult Times"/> <meta property="article:modified_time" content="2023-12-13T19:10:24Z"/> <meta name="apple-itunes-app" content="app-id=1445571382, app-argument=https://hbr.org"/> <meta name="twitter:card" content="summary_large_image"/> <meta property="og:url" content="https://hbr.org/2024/01/how-to-sustain-your-empathy-in-difficult-times"/> <meta property="article:tag" content="Leadership and managing people"/> <meta property="article:tag" content="Health and wellness"/> <meta property="article:tag" content="Stress management"/> <meta property="article:tag" content="Management styles"/> <meta property="article:tag" content="Burnout"/> <meta property="article:tag" content="Mental health"/> <meta property="article:tag" content="Managing employees"/> <meta property="article:tag" content="Management skills"/> <meta property="article:tag" content="Interpersonal skills"/> <meta name="primary-editor" content="162"/> <meta property="og:description" content="Empathic leadership is vital in today’s working world; in fact, employees demand it. But empathy can be emotionally and physically exhausting for managers. “I feel like I’m never enough,” one Fortune 100 executive recently said, “even in my empathy for my people. Anything going wrong with them means I’ve failed.” Not surprisingly, some managers believe they must make a choice: be empathic and sacrifice their personal well-being for the good of others, or back away and preserve their own emotional health. Fortunately, according to the author, a Stanford psychologist and neuroscientist, this dilemma is more apparent than real. He writes that managers can employ three strategies to lead empathically while maintaining their equilibrium. In this article he describes the strategies and presents a blueprint for the practice of what he calls sustainable empathy."/> <meta name="twitter:creator" content="@harvardbiz"/> <meta property="og:site_name" content="Harvard Business Review"/> <meta name="article-type" content="premium"/> <meta property="og:type" content="article"/> <meta property="article:section" content="Leadership and managing people"/> <meta name="twitter:site" content="@harvardbiz"/> <meta name="page-category-name" content="Leadership and managing people"/> <meta name="description" content="Empathic leadership is vital in today’s working world; in fact, employees demand it. But empathy can be emotionally and physically exhausting for managers. “I feel like I’m never enough,” one Fortune 100 executive recently said, “even in my empathy for my people. Anything going wrong with them means I’ve failed.” Not surprisingly, some managers believe they must make a choice: be empathic and sacrifice their personal well-being for the good of others, or back away and preserve their own emotional health. Fortunately, according to the author, a Stanford psychologist and neuroscientist, this dilemma is more apparent than real. He writes that managers can employ three strategies to lead empathically while maintaining their equilibrium. In this article he describes the strategies and presents a blueprint for the practice of what he calls sustainable empathy."/> <meta property="article:publisher" content="https://www.facebook.com/HBR"/> <meta property="og:image" content="https://hbr.org/resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON.jpg"/> <meta property="article:published_time" content="2024-01-01T05:00:00Z"/> <meta name="twitter:image" content="https://hbr.org/resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON.jpg"/> <meta name="article-content-type" content="Magazine Article"/> <meta name="viewport" content="initial-scale=1,width=device-width"/> <meta name="page-category-id" content="391383"/> <meta name="uid" content="E94B23173F2F22A9E446C9B106978A7A"/> <meta name="shopper-attributes" content="state:guest"/> <meta property="og:title" content="How to Sustain Your Empathy in Difficult Times"/> <meta name="page-type" content="ITEM"/> <meta name="page-id" content="320"/> <meta name="ox-group" content="537063787"/> <meta name="robots" content="max-image-preview:large">  <script type="text/javascript"> ;window.NREUM||(NREUM={});NREUM.init={distributed_tracing:{enabled:true},privacy:{cookies_enabled:true}}; ;NREUM.loader_config={accountID:"858143",trustKey:"858143",agentID:"16887721",licenseKey:"e93df31780",applicationID:"8171118"}; ;NREUM.info={beacon:"bam.nr-data.net",errorBeacon:"bam.nr-data.net",licenseKey:"e93df31780",applicationID:"8171118",sa:1}; ;/*! 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class="component" data-order="2" data-type="webscript" data-moveable="false" data-params="region=persistent-banner"> <persistent-banner> <section class="persistent-banner hide-for-print deactivated do-not-show" aria-label="Article count" aria-live="polite" role="dialog" aria-hidden="true"> </section> </persistent-banner> </div> <div id="" class="component" data-order="4" data-type="webscript" data-moveable="false" data-params="region=article;ad-placements=title-300"> <article-content-flex2019 class="article-content-flex2019" page-subtype="premium" isGifted="false"> <div js-target="article-content-flex2019" class="premium content-area--centered"> <div class="pre-container"> <div class="headline-wrapper"> <div class="top-components article-width-wrapper"> <div class="site-logo--for-print premium"> <img src="/resources/css/images/HBR_logo_black.svg"> </div> <div class="slug-container"> <a class="slug-content" href="/topic/subject/leadership-and-managing-people"> Leadership and managing people </a> </div> <div class="headline-container text-center"> <h1 class="article-hed premium"> How to Sustain Your Empathy in Difficult Times </h1> </div> <div class="article-dek-group"> <div class="article-dek">Managers are expected to provide employees with more emotional support than ever—and many are burning out. There’s a better way. <div class="article-byline "> <span class="by-prefix">by </span> <ul class="article-byline-list"> <li class="article-author"><a href="/search?term=jamil%20zaki">Jamil Zaki</a></li> </ul> </div> </div> </div> <div class="article-byline detached"> <span class="by-prefix">by </span> <ul class="article-byline-list"> <li class="article-author"><a href="/search?term=jamil%20zaki">Jamil Zaki</a></li> </ul> </div> <div class="pub-date"> <a href="/archive-toc/BR2401" class="magazine-toc-link"> From the Magazine (January–February 2024) </a> <span class="long-read is-hidden"> · Long read</span> </div> </div> </div> </div> <hero-image > <div class="hero-image-content "> <div class="image-wrapper" style="width: fit-content;"> <img src="/resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON.jpg" sizes="(min-width: 64em) 84vw, 100vw" srcset="/resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON.jpg 2000w, /resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-300x169.jpg 300w, /resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-1024x576.jpg 1024w, /resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-768x432.jpg 768w, /resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-1536x864.jpg 1536w, /resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-500x281.jpg 500w, /resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-383x215.jpg 383w, /resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-700x394.jpg 700w, /resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-850x478.jpg 850w, /resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-1200x675.jpg 1200w, /resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-1900x1069.jpg 1900w" /> <div class="container--caption-credits-hero "> <span class="credits--hero-image">Grace Chon</span> </div> </div> </div> </hero-image> <div class="premium--container"> <div class="article-width-wrapper"> <div class="article-summary" more-caption="more" close-caption="close"> <span class="summary-header font-bold">Summary.   </span> <span class="summary-text"><p>Empathic leadership is vital in today’s working world; in fact, employees demand it. But empathy can be emotionally and physically exhausting for managers. “I feel like I’m never enough,” one <span class="mediatitle">Fortune</span> 100 executive recently said, “even in my empathy for my people. Anything going wrong with them means I’ve failed.”</p> <p>Not surprisingly, some managers believe they must make a choice: be empathic and sacrifice their personal well-being for the good of others, or back away and preserve their own emotional health. Fortunately, according to the author, a Stanford psychologist and neuroscientist, this dilemma is more apparent than real. He writes that managers can employ three strategies to lead empathically while maintaining their equilibrium. In this article he describes the strategies and presents a blueprint for the practice of what he calls <em>sustainable empathy.</em></p> </span> </div> </div> <div class="article-body"> <div class="left-rail--container"> <page-utils class="article-utils--vertical hide-for-print" data-js-target="page-utils" data-id="tag:hbr.org,1922-01-01:202401.369913-R2401C" data-title="How to Sustain Your Empathy in Difficult Times" data-url="/2024/01/how-to-sustain-your-empathy-in-difficult-times" data-topic="Leadership and managing people" data-authors="Jamil Zaki" data-content-type="Magazine Article" data-content-image="/resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-383x215.jpg" data-summary="<p>Managers are expected to provide employees with more emotional support than ever—and many are burning out. There’s a better way.</p> "> <ul> <li class="twitter-icon"> <a href="http://twitter.com/HarvardBiz" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" js-target="twitter-share"> <i class="updated-twitter-x-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-twitter-x-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Post</div> </a> </li> <li class="facebook-icon"> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/HBR" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" js-target="facebook-share"> <i class="updated-facebook-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-facebook-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Post</div> </a> </li> <li class="linkedin-icon"> <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/company/harvard-business-review?trk=biz-companies-cym" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" js-target="linkedin-share"> <i class="updated-linkedin-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-linkedin-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Share</div> </a> </li> <li class="annotate-icon hide do-not-show" js-target="annotate-icon"> <a js-target="handle-mindstone-click"> <i class="mindstone-icon-black" js-target="mindstone-icon-black"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#mindstone-icon-black"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Annotate</div> </a> <li> <a href="#" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" js-target="save-flyout"> <i class="updated-save-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-save-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Save</div> </a> </li> <li class="pdf-download hide-for-non-subscriber"> <a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="#" js-target="pdf-download-link" data-reprint-product-id="R2401C-PDF-ENG"> <i class="updated-download-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-download-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Get PDF</div> </a> </li> <li class="buy-copies"> <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="/product/how-to-sustain-your-empathy-in-difficult-times/R2401C-PDF-ENG" js-target="buy-reprint-link" data-reprint-product-id="R2401C-PDF-ENG"> <i class="updated-buy-copies-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-buy-copies-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Buy Copies</div> </a> </li> <li class="print-page"> <a href="javascript:window.print();" js-target="print-article"> <i class="updated-print-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-print-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Print</div> </a> </li> </ul> </page-utils> </div> <div class="article-width-wrapper premium-content flexed"> <content js-target="article-content" data-key="lfBJhDlRhAe7Qe5C3H3abBIqg6Fa4YzBtteB8odxEqL64hW/u3qfHaOLMyOb5M/1" data-index="J+MqQf1xc7VFXqC49X3sLUfIpvIpARsMd708zGazHblyiq6RwJErhmIFEE6p/xBX" data-waiver="false" data-page-year="2024" data-page-month="01" data-page-seo-title="how-to-sustain-your-empathy-in-difficult-times" data-page-adUnit-locations="" data-page-slug="article" data-piano-verified="false" > <article-ideainbrief class="article-ideainbrief"> <h4 class="ideainbrief-title">Idea in Brief</h4> <div class="ideainbrief-contents"> <h5>The Challenge</h5> <p>Employees of all types are burned-out and desperately need empathy from their managers. But empathic leadership can be so emotionally and physically draining that it feels unsustainable.</p> <h5>The Dilemma</h5> <p>Many managers believe they have to make a choice: be empathic and sacrifice their well-being for the good of others, or back away to preserve their own emotional health.</p> <h5>The Solution</h5> <p>This dilemma is less real than it seems. Three strategies—discussed in detail in this article—can help managers lead empathically over the long term without burning out.</p> </div> </article-ideainbrief><p class="mag-icon-managing-people-w30"><span class="lead-in">When I started studying empathy, </span><span class="lead-in-large">nearly 20 </span> years ago, its status in the workplace was controversial. Many people believed that empathic leadership—which draws on the ability to understand, care about, and vicariously experience the emotions of others—was too “soft” for the hard-charging, competitive world of business.</p> </content>  <div class="mvm description-text hbrgray, line-height-tight">A version of this article appeared in the <a href="/archive-toc/BR2401">January–February 2024</a> issue of <em>Harvard Business Review</em>.</div> </div> <div class="right-rail--container"> <div class="right-rail--inner"> <div class="related-topics--common related-topics--textnotmobile hide-for-print"> <span class="related-topics--links">Read more on <a href="/topic/subject/leadership-and-managing-people?ab=articlepage-topic"><strong>Leadership and managing people</strong></a> or related topics <a href="/topic/subject/health-and-wellness?ab=articlepage-topic"><strong>Health and wellness</strong></a>, <a href="/topic/subject/stress-management?ab=articlepage-topic"><strong>Stress management</strong></a>, <a href="/topic/subject/management-styles?ab=articlepage-topic"><strong>Management styles</strong></a>, <a href="/topic/subject/burnout?ab=articlepage-topic"><strong>Burnout</strong></a>, <a href="/topic/subject/mental-health?ab=articlepage-topic"><strong>Mental health</strong></a>, <a href="/topic/subject/managing-employees?ab=articlepage-topic"><strong>Managing employees</strong></a>, <a href="/topic/subject/management-skills?ab=articlepage-topic"><strong>Management skills</strong></a> and <a href="/topic/subject/interpersonal-skills?ab=articlepage-topic"><strong>Interpersonal skills</strong></a> </span> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="post-container"> <div class="article-width-wrapper"> <ul class="author-bio author-bio--mobile-only"> <li> <div> <author-avatar data-url="/resources/images/article_assets/2019/05/Zaki-headshot.jpg" data-author-name="Jamil Zaki" data-js-target="author-avatar" style="background-image: url(/resources/images/article_assets/2019/05/Zaki-headshot.jpg);"> </author-avatar> </div> <div> <span> <a href="/search?term=jamil%20zaki&search_type=search-all">Jamil Zaki</a> is a professor of psychology at Stanford University and the author of <a href="https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/jamil-zaki/hope-for-cynics/9781538743065/?lens=grand-central-publishing"><em><i>Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness</i></em></a>. </span> </div> </li> </ul> <page-utils class="article-utils--horizontal hide-for-print" data-js-target="page-utils" data-id="tag:hbr.org,1922-01-01:202401.369913-R2401C" data-title="How to Sustain Your Empathy in Difficult Times" data-url="/2024/01/how-to-sustain-your-empathy-in-difficult-times" data-topic="Leadership and managing people" data-authors="Jamil Zaki" data-content-type="Magazine Article" data-content-image="/resources/images/article_assets/2023/11/R2401C_CHON-383x215.jpg" data-summary="<p>Managers are expected to provide employees with more emotional support than ever—and many are burning out. There’s a better way.</p> "> <ul> <li class="twitter-icon"> <a href="http://twitter.com/HarvardBiz" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" js-target="twitter-share"> <i class="updated-twitter-x-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-twitter-x-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Post</div> </a> </li> <li class="facebook-icon"> <a href="http://www.facebook.com/HBR" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" js-target="facebook-share"> <i class="updated-facebook-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-facebook-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Post</div> </a> </li> <li class="linkedin-icon"> <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/company/harvard-business-review?trk=biz-companies-cym" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" js-target="linkedin-share"> <i class="updated-linkedin-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-linkedin-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Share</div> </a> </li> <li class="annotate-icon hide do-not-show" js-target="annotate-icon"> <a js-target="handle-mindstone-click"> <i class="mindstone-icon-black" js-target="mindstone-icon-black"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#mindstone-icon-black"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Annotate</div> </a> <li> <a href="#" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" js-target="save-flyout"> <i class="updated-save-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-save-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Save</div> </a> </li> <li class="pdf-download hide-for-non-subscriber"> <a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="#" js-target="pdf-download-link" data-reprint-product-id="R2401C-PDF-ENG"> <i class="updated-download-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-download-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Get PDF</div> </a> </li> <li class="buy-copies"> <a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="/product/how-to-sustain-your-empathy-in-difficult-times/R2401C-PDF-ENG" js-target="buy-reprint-link" data-reprint-product-id="R2401C-PDF-ENG"> <i class="updated-buy-copies-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-buy-copies-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Buy Copies</div> </a> </li> <li class="print-page"> <a href="javascript:window.print();" js-target="print-article"> <i class="updated-print-icon"> <svg class="" alt="" aria-labelledby="title"> <title></title> <use xlink:href="/resources/css/images/hbr-icons.svg#updated-print-icon"></use></svg> </i> <div class="utility--icon-label">Print</div> </a> </li> </ul> </page-utils> </div> <div class="article-width-wrapper"> <div class="hmm-bottom-placement do-not-show" js-target="hmm-bottom-tout"> <span class="hmm-label">New!</span> <div class="hmm-content-wrapper"> <div class="hmm-title-wrapper flex-container"> <img class="hmm-learning-icon" src="/resources/css/images/hmm/HBR-learning-icon.png"/> <span class="title">HBR Learning</span> </div> <div class="hmm-content-title">Leading People Course</div> <div class="hmm-dek hmm-marketing-description">Accelerate your career with Harvard ManageMentor®. 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