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(max-width: 700px) 50vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 4) and (max-width: 700px) 50vw, (min-resolution: 3dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 67vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3) and (max-width: 700px) 65vw, (min-resolution: 2.5dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2.5) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (min-resolution: 2dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px"/><img alt="man and woman washing dishes" class="bh lo mu c" width="700" height="700" loading="eager"/></picture></div></div></figure><p id="df68" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mv mw gv mx b my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no np nq nr ns go bk nt"><span class="l nu nv nw bo nx ny nz oa ob fj">A</span>round four decades back, I crossed paths with my future husband, Kevin, when we were both in our twenties. We could feel the instant connection between us. In an era before digital communication dominated, we indulged in the romantic art of letter writing for seven months — penning our thoughts on paper, sealing them in envelopes, and entrusting them to the postal service. Following this period of epistolary courtship, I made the life-changing decision to relocate to Kevin’s city. Our bond deepened swiftly, culminating in marriage.</p><p id="e7c6" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mv mw gv mx b my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no np nq nr ns go bk">During our relationship’s initial stages, I noticed peculiarities and quirks in Kevin’s behavior. The turmoil and hardship Kevin experienced during his formative years in Africa had left an indelible mark on him. Initially, I found his cultural naivety charming; his unconventional responses piqued my curiosity. Individuals who challenge societal norms for noble reasons have always attracted me, and Kevin embodied this trait perfectly.</p><p id="dc1e" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mv mw gv mx b my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no np nq nr ns go bk">As time passed, Kevin was not always sensitive to my emotional needs. Though unfailingly kind, his reactions sometimes missed the mark. While I cherished spontaneous displays of affection, they were noticeably absent in our marriage unless prompted by me. Despite his unwavering kindness — returning home from work each day to greet me with a kiss and to help around the house — there lingered a yearning within me for unexpected romantic gestures. Subtle hints from me often led to confusion on his part; at night, muffled sobs into my pillow concealed my disappointment at the lack of spontaneity I craved.</p><p id="d50b" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mv mw gv mx b my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no np nq nr ns go bk">In spite of these fleeting moments of discontentment, Kevin epitomized the ideal partner: diligent in his work, deferential in financial matters, proactive in household chores, and fiercely protective of me. He would only get angry in rare instances where he felt there was mistreatment towards me. Colleagues attested to his adoration for me; heartfelt poems professing his love marked every special occasion. Yet beneath this unwavering devotion lay a noticeable absence of impromptu romantic gestures.</p><p id="4885" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mv mw gv mx b my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no np nq nr ns go bk">After years spent together as a couple, suspicions arose within me regarding Kevin possibly having Asperger’s syndrome–a notion solidified by my interactions with autistic students during my teaching career. It wasn’t until much later that we broached this topic together; unsurprisingly, Kevin, too, had pondered such a possibility independently. Seeking professional guidance led to a diagnosis of “high-functioning autism.” We prefer the term “Asperger’s” for its nuanced depiction along the spectrum.</p><p id="d702" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mv mw gv mx b my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk nl nm nn no np nq nr ns go bk">With age came wisdom: I have learned that grand romantic gestures are not prerequisites for marital bliss. Witnessing numerous relationships falter despite sporadic displays of romance has reinforced this belief. The enduring love shared with Kevin over four decades far outweighs any desire for extravagant surprises. Embracing Kevin’s constancy and reliability brings immense comfort as we navigate life together, with intermittent sparks of my spontaneity adding just enough zest to our enduring partnership as we anticipate more shared years ahead. I believe we have found the best of both worlds.</p></div></div></div></div></section></div></div></article></div><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh ga gb gc gd"><div class="oc od ab iw"><div class="oe ab"><a class="of ay am ao" rel="noopener follow" href="/tag/marriage?source=post_page-----2b3f3b25e553--------------------------------"><div class="og fj cx oh gf oi oj bf b bg z bk ok">Marriage</div></a></div><div class="oe ab"><a class="of ay am ao" rel="noopener follow" href="/tag/neurotypical?source=post_page-----2b3f3b25e553--------------------------------"><div class="og fj cx oh gf oi oj bf b bg z bk ok">Neurotypical</div></a></div><div class="oe ab"><a class="of ay am ao" rel="noopener follow" href="/tag/neurodivergent?source=post_page-----2b3f3b25e553--------------------------------"><div class="og fj cx oh gf oi oj bf b bg z bk ok">Neurodivergent</div></a></div><div class="oe ab"><a class="of ay am ao" rel="noopener follow" 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