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href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/11/08/fatherhood-after-four-years/" title="Permalink to Fatherhood After Four Years" rel="bookmark">Fatherhood After Four Years</a></h1> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <p>Man, I can’t believe it has been four years. Next month, Ellie turns four. Hard to believe.</p> <p>At the same time, something about it just feels <em>right</em>. I’ve done a lot of different things over the years for “work;” tech support, fast food worker, general grunt work, computer sales, software engineering, and various other stuff. None of it, though, has come to me as naturally, or as passionately and happily, as being a parent and a father. The role is just something that I can do, without worrying that I’m doing something wrong or that someone is looking over my shoulder.</p> <p>Oh, sure, I have my moments where I feel like a complete failure as a parent, but I think every good parent has those moments. It is when your kid cuts their finger on a tin can because you didn’t put it out of their reach, or you weren’t watching close enough and they fell and split their lip. These things happen, but <em>you feel like you should have been there to prevent it</em>. Yeah, but after you get past the moment, you realize that you are still a good parent.</p> <p>I love cooking dinner for, and with, my girls. We’ve taken to having a family dinner every night, which both Ellie and Gwen love. They are a class act, sitting across from each other at the table. It also gives me a lot of time doing something other than sitting in front of the television, which makes me feel worlds better about myself.</p> <p>And now I’m writing more. That is one of the best things ever. This will be the second blog post this week, not to mention that I’ve written 800 words of fiction. I’ve tried to keep up with NaNoWriMo, but I don’t think I’ll keep pace with it. I’ll use it as a way to motivate writing, but I won’t force myself into that goal.</p> <p>Next post will include some thoughts on my fiction. See you then!</p> </div> <footer class="entry-meta"> Posted on <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/11/08/fatherhood-after-four-years/" title="10:40 AM" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2012-11-08T10:40:09+00:00" pubdate>8 November 2012</time></a><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/author/dreamertim/" title="View all posts by Tim Moore" rel="author">Tim Moore</a></span></span> </footer> </article> <article id="post-1251" class="post-1251 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-articles category-writing"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/11/07/humanity-3-douchebags-0/" title="Permalink to Humanity 3 : Douchebags 0" rel="bookmark">Humanity 3 : Douchebags 0</a></h1> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <p>Because, really. Anyone who uses the “gay marriage vs. traditional marriage” argument is perpetuating the discrimination against fellow humans. I don’t care what side of the issue you fall on; it shouldn’t be labeled in that manner. The issue should be labeled as “would you like everyone to be equal or would you like to continue discriminating against fellow humans for no good reason?”</p> <p>Humanity won out in Maine yesterday. Not only that, it won out in Missouri where Todd Akin lost and in Indiana where Richard Mourdock lost. If you do not recall, both of these candidates had rather negative, anti-humanity opinions about women, rape, and other issues. I’m glad to see douchebags like this lose their seats and get clear messages from their constituents.</p> <p>In the words of Richard Mourdock, this “is something that God intended to happen.”</p> </div> <footer class="entry-meta"> Posted on <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/11/07/humanity-3-douchebags-0/" title="9:05 AM" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2012-11-07T09:05:08+00:00" pubdate>7 November 2012</time></a><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/author/dreamertim/" title="View all posts by Tim Moore" rel="author">Tim Moore</a></span></span> </footer> </article> <article id="post-1209" class="post-1209 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-personal-notes tag-grand-parents tag-home tag-life tag-maine tag-nature tag-winter"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/10/15/status-update-winter-has-arrived-early/" title="Permalink to Status Update: Winter Has Arrived Early" rel="bookmark">Status Update: Winter Has Arrived Early</a></h1> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <p>Winter seems to have arrived early here in Maine and I’m none too happy about it. It means my pain levels are higher, which makes it harder to do anything.</p> <p>Despite that, Caroline, the kids, and I have managed to do something fun each weekend. We went to Portland a couple of weeks ago, then to the grand parents one week ago, then to the Maine Jump this last weekend.</p> <p>More later!</p> </div> <footer class="entry-meta"> Posted on <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/10/15/status-update-winter-has-arrived-early/" title="11:37 AM" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2012-10-15T11:37:09+00:00" pubdate>15 October 2012</time></a><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/author/dreamertim/" title="View all posts by Tim Moore" rel="author">Tim Moore</a></span></span> </footer> </article> <article id="post-1016" class="post-1016 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-writing"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/07/25/germany/" title="Permalink to Germany" rel="bookmark">Germany</a></h1> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <p>I was in Berlin for a week this July. The weather was shit, but we had a good time anyway. Team Social got a lot of work done, had some good beer, and found lots fo good food.</p> <p>Photos after the break.</p> <p> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/07/25/germany/#more-1016" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">→</span></a></p> </div> <footer class="entry-meta"> Posted on <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/07/25/germany/" title="10:29 AM" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2012-07-25T10:29:40+00:00" pubdate>25 July 2012</time></a><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/author/dreamertim/" title="View all posts by Tim Moore" rel="author">Tim Moore</a></span></span> </footer> </article> <article id="post-827" class="post-827 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-articles category-writing tag-750words tag-advice tag-journaling tag-writing-2"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/02/07/a-writing-tip/" title="Permalink to A Writing Tip" rel="bookmark">A Writing Tip</a></h1> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <p>One of the things I’ve been meaning to do is write more every day. I’ve tried blogging, but that can be cumbersomely public. I’ve tried journaling by hand, but medical issues prevent that day-to-day. But, I did find something that, for the last couple of days, seems to have helped increase my writing productivity.</p> <p>Months ago, one of my coworkers mentioned <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://750words.com/" onclick="javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackEvent','outbound-article','https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://750words.com']);">750words.com</a> to me. I didn’t give it a try then, because I still had it in mind that I wanted to keep everything on my blog, if I was going to do something online. Fast forward to now, and I’ve come to realize that I need to do something and I don’t like to have to remember to mark entries as private, nor do I want to take the chance that something will slip through the cracks. Better to have everything separate.</p> <p>So the idea behind 750words is simple: it is just simple, private, unfiltered journaling on a private site, every day. You can see who else is writing, but not WHAT they are writing. There are monthly challenges, badges, daily points, and other encouragements to keep you posting every day.</p> <p>I’m only two days in, but I’m already liking the concept and can see myself sticking with it for awhile. You should give it a shot, too.</p> </div> <footer class="entry-meta"> Posted on <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/02/07/a-writing-tip/" title="12:44 PM" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2012-02-07T12:44:42+00:00" pubdate>7 February 2012</time></a><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/author/dreamertim/" title="View all posts by Tim Moore" rel="author">Tim Moore</a></span></span> <span class="sep"> | </span> <span class="comments-link"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/02/07/a-writing-tip/#comments" title="Comment on A Writing Tip">6 Comments</a></span> </footer> </article> <article id="post-1001" class="post-1001 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-personal-notes"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/01/17/hawaii/" title="Permalink to Hawaii" rel="bookmark">Hawaii</a></h1> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <p>I was in Kailua, Hawaii, for a week. It was nice to get away frow the winter weather for a bit!</p> <p>Photos after the break.</p> <p> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/01/17/hawaii/#more-1001" class="more-link">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">→</span></a></p> </div> <footer class="entry-meta"> Posted on <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2012/01/17/hawaii/" title="3:26 AM" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2012-01-17T03:26:44+00:00" pubdate>17 January 2012</time></a><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/author/dreamertim/" title="View all posts by Tim Moore" rel="author">Tim Moore</a></span></span> </footer> </article> <article id="post-810" class="post-810 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-articles category-writing tag-creative-act tag-painful-truth tag-storyteller"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2011/12/14/tim-on-writing/" title="Permalink to Tim, On Writing" rel="bookmark">Tim, On Writing</a></h1> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <p>One of the most common questions out there for writers (and I’m as guilty of anyone of asking it) is, “How do you get published?” It comes in many forms: how to break-in to the business, what is the best genre to write in or the best story to tell, etc.</p> <p>None of that really matters, though.</p> <p>Why?</p> <p>Because you aren’t writing, that’s why.</p> <p>This is a hard and painful truth, especially for me. I call myself a writer and a storyteller. I consider myself one and have since I was a kid. But the hard and fast truth is that I don’t put ass in chair and write often enough to “break into the business” or “get published.”</p> <p>I daydream a lot, write myself notes, scribble story ideas here and there, and generally have some fun with the idea of being a “real storyteller” someday. I read a lot of books, enjoy the stories, and find things in them that I would like to be able to replicate, or do better, or just know that I’ll never be able to do.</p> <p>If I want to get published, I know that I need to put time into the words. Like I’m doing now. Any type of writing, even random posts like this, is good. Getting words from brain, to hands, to keyboard or paper, is good. It is a creative act. The more I do it, the better I will get, and the closer I will get to the dream I’ve had since I first picked up a book: becoming a published storyteller.</p> <p>So, if you are like me and want to get published, stop reading this, and go write something of your own.</p> </div> <footer class="entry-meta"> Posted on <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2011/12/14/tim-on-writing/" title="2:22 PM" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2011-12-14T14:22:33+00:00" pubdate>14 December 2011</time></a><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/author/dreamertim/" title="View all posts by Tim Moore" rel="author">Tim Moore</a></span></span> <span class="sep"> | </span> <span class="comments-link"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2011/12/14/tim-on-writing/#comments" title="Comment on Tim, On Writing">2 Comments</a></span> </footer> </article> <article id="post-769" class="post-769 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-writing"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2011/11/22/the-art-of-overbuilding/" title="Permalink to The Art of Overbuilding" rel="bookmark">The Art of Overbuilding</a></h1> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <p>Have you ever noticed how we humans have a tendency to overbuild and focus in the wrong areas? Go look at the speedometer in your car. If you have an average car, it’ll probably have a maximum number of 120 or 140 mph. Now think about how fast the typical speed limit is in your average daily commute. I bet you rarely, <em><strong>legally,</strong></em> get above 75mph. Do you feel safe driving much faster than that? I used to think I could drive safely at high speed, but I don’t anymore. And I’ve only once ever gotten a car up to its speedometer’s maximum speed…</p> <p>This is the Art of Overbuilding. Rather than focusing on better fuel efficiency or more environmentally conscious engines, our focus has been on Making It Go Faster. Fast is good, I suppose; it makes the adrenaline pump, which makes us feel good for a bit. But there is no “need for speed.” We make speed limit laws and spend countless police force hours and tax dollars enforcing those laws. Lives are horribly altered or lost because of this Making It Go Faster principle.</p> <p>Everything should be held in balance. We’ve gone over the deep end with the speed of our vehicles. I believe that some speed was and is need; it is reasonable to have vehicles going 60 to 80 mph in ideal circumstances. I don’t think it is ever going to be reasonable to allow a human to drive faster than that because, just like with alcohol consumption, human reflexes aren’t capable of managing.</p> <p>The current focus in the automotive industry is fuel efficiency, which is nice. But again, I hope it doesn’t turn into another Art of Overbuilding exercise.</p> <p>I can see other examples in software, fiction and non-fiction writing, and education. How do you see the Art of Overbuilding applying in other areas?</p> </div> <footer class="entry-meta"> Posted on <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2011/11/22/the-art-of-overbuilding/" title="3:26 PM" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2011-11-22T15:26:32+00:00" pubdate>22 November 2011</time></a><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/author/dreamertim/" title="View all posts by Tim Moore" rel="author">Tim Moore</a></span></span> </footer> </article> <article id="post-672" class="post-672 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-wordpress tag-writing-2"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2011/07/05/a-new-job/" title="Permalink to A New Job" rel="bookmark">A New Job</a></h1> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <p>Back in April, I was offered a golden opportunity: start a trial contract with Automattic, Inc. If you don’t know, Automattic is a company founded by Matt Mullenweg, who co-founded WordPress (the software that runs this blog). Automattic support WordPress.com, as well as some of the core developers of WordPress.org, and a variety of other WordPress-related projects.</p> <p>I’ve been working with WordPress professionally for two and a half years now (running the UMaine.edu home page and roughly 350 department sites at the current time) and I have used it personally since around 2006. I’ve had a lot of fun developing plugins for WordPress, tracking down bugs, and making feeble attempts at patching core bugs (I’ve never gotten to the point of submitting patches, mostly due to time).</p> <p>So I was very happy when Nick Momrik got in touch and offered me the trial contract. I worked on a couple of projects (updating the Slideshare shortcode for WordPress.com as well as an enhancement to WordPress.com’s Publicize feature, soon to be launched). At the end of June, I was fortunate to speak with Matt Mullenweg, who offered me a full-time position with Automattic.</p> <p>And, I’m happy to announce, I’ve accepted the offer and am now starting my three week support orientation!</p> </div> <footer class="entry-meta"> Posted on <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2011/07/05/a-new-job/" title="6:11 PM" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2011-07-05T18:11:03+00:00" pubdate>5 July 2011</time></a><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/author/dreamertim/" title="View all posts by Tim Moore" rel="author">Tim Moore</a></span></span> </footer> </article> <article id="post-582" class="post-582 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-articles category-personal-notes category-writing"> <header class="entry-header"> <h1 class="entry-title"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2011/01/03/on-being-in-pain/" title="Permalink to On Being In Pain" rel="bookmark">On Being In Pain</a></h1> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <div> <p>I don’t usually like talking about this subject, but I think it’s high time I stretch my comfort zone. Keeping it all to myself doesn’t help, so I’m going to try to get it out there.</p> <p>I’ve been in some form of pain for most of my life. I started having stress headaches around the age of twelve, right around the time that my mother passed away from brain cancer. Nothing was really done about it; I took over the counter pain killers and dealt. Over the course of my teen years, the headaches got progressively worse until, at eighteen, I was diagnosed with migraines. Then the doctors started trying drug treatments that, to this day, don’t work.</p> <p>Along with the migraines, I’ve also never slept very well. Most doctors I talk to attribute that to my weight. I’ve been 6’4″ tall and over 250 pounds since I was thirteen. I’ve always hovered higher in weight than I should. Looking back now, though, I can list on one hand the number of times I’ve actually, <em>really</em> slept a full night. Most of the time, I’m caught up in a cycle that doesn’t allow me to drop into the restorative sleep that people need.</p> <p>Recently, I’ve developed extreme pain in my muscles and joints. I’ve always had issues, here and there, with a joint or muscle, but, since I’m overweight, most doctors just ignore it. Rest it, take pain meds, get better. Seems logical, but it never really worked for me. Now, I can’t sit in a car for more than an hour before my sees catch fire, nor can I whisk something while cooking, or brush my hair without feeling like my joints are all afire and ready to run away from me.</p> <p>In essence, all of this culminates into one thing: it takes a lot of mental effort for me to get myself doing anything. Exercise, sitting at the computer, watching television, writing: each and every activity I think about doing has a certain amount of pain attached to it. Some things I have to do: go to work and get things done, cook dinner, do laundry, etc. For those things, I don’t have a choice: I have to accept the pain I’ll be in because, otherwise, those things won’t get done and my wife and daughter would be negatively effected. Things like writing, exercising, reading a book: they all get dumped to the side because the pain cost is too high.</p> <p>However, I’ve discovered that there is another cost: happiness. Writing makes me happy. Telling stories makes me happy. Reading a story someone else has written makes me happy. Playing with my daughter and seeing her delight in new things makes me happy. Going out to dinner and a movie with my wife makes me happy.</p> <p>I’m learning slowly that being unhappy and in minimal pain costs far more than being happy and in more pain. Because if I’m unhappy, I get depressed — and the depression enhances the pain I feel. The happiness can fend off some pain, or at least make me forget it for a time. Which is good.</p> <p>One positive note in all of this is that my newest doctor believes that I have fibromyalgia and is taking steps to get me treated for it. I’m glad that we are on track for a treatment, but I wish it had come along sooner.</p> </div> </div> <footer class="entry-meta"> Posted on <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/2011/01/03/on-being-in-pain/" title="8:56 PM" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date" datetime="2011-01-03T20:56:49+00:00" pubdate>3 January 2011</time></a><span class="byline"> by <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/author/dreamertim/" title="View all posts by Tim Moore" rel="author">Tim Moore</a></span></span> </footer> </article> <nav role="navigation" id="nav-below" class="site-navigation paging-navigation"> <h1 class="assistive-text">Post navigation</h1> <div class="nav-previous"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130112213056/http://dreaminginbetween.com/page/2/"><span class="meta-nav">←</span> Older posts</a></div> </nav> </div> </div> <div id="secondary" 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