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<!doctype html><html lang="en"><head><title data-rh="true">What’s It Like to Not Always be Thinking? | by Jackie Schuld | Nov, 2024 | Medium</title><meta data-rh="true" charset="utf-8"/><meta data-rh="true" name="viewport" content="width=device-width,minimum-scale=1,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1"/><meta data-rh="true" name="theme-color" content="#000000"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:app:name:iphone" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" name="twitter:app:id:iphone" content="828256236"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:ios:app_name" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:ios:app_store_id" content="828256236"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:android:package" content="com.medium.reader"/><meta data-rh="true" property="fb:app_id" content="542599432471018"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:site_name" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:type" content="article"/><meta data-rh="true" property="article:published_time" content="2024-11-23T07:12:29.768Z"/><meta data-rh="true" name="title" content="What’s It Like to Not Always be Thinking? | by Jackie Schuld | Nov, 2024 | Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" property="og:title" content="What’s It Like to Not Always be Thinking?"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:android:url" content="medium://p/2319b14058bb"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:ios:url" content="medium://p/2319b14058bb"/><meta data-rh="true" property="al:android:app_name" content="Medium"/><meta data-rh="true" name="description" content="I have a friend who always looks peaceful. 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gm"></div><div><div class="speechify-ignore l"><div class="gn go gp gq gr l"></div><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div class="cl ab gs"><div class="gv ab"><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><button class="l ay ao am" aria-label="Member-only story"><div class="h k j i d"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="16" height="16" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 64 64"><path fill="#FFC017" d="m39.637 40.831-5.771 15.871a1.99 1.99 0 0 1-3.732 0l-5.771-15.87a2.02 2.02 0 0 0-1.194-1.195L7.298 33.866a1.99 1.99 0 0 1 0-3.732l15.87-5.771a2.02 2.02 0 0 0 1.195-1.194l5.771-15.871a1.99 1.99 0 0 1 3.732 0l5.771 15.87a2.02 2.02 0 0 0 1.194 1.195l15.871 5.771a1.99 1.99 0 0 1 0 3.732l-15.87 5.771a2.02 2.02 0 0 0-1.195 1.194"></path></svg></div></div></div><div class="s u w fg fh q"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="16" height="16" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 64 64" class="gt gu"><path fill="#FFC017" d="m39.637 40.831-5.771 15.871a1.99 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ij"><div class="l fj"><img alt="Jackie Schuld" class="l fd by dd de cx" src="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fill:88:88/1*rlb5JJ81AzGvfJlMvbI4yw.jpeg" width="44" height="44" loading="lazy" data-testid="authorPhoto"/><div class="ik by l dd de fs n il ft"></div></div></div></a></div></div></div></div><div class="bn bh l"><div class="ab"><div style="flex:1"><span class="bf b bg z bk"><div class="im ab q"><div class="ab q in"><div class="ab q"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><p class="bf b io ip bk"><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar iq" data-testid="authorName" rel="noopener follow" href="/@jackieschuld?source=post_page---byline--2319b14058bb--------------------------------">Jackie Schuld</a></p></div></div></div><div class="ir is l"><div class="ab it"><div class="ab"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="16" height="16" fill="none" viewBox="0 0 16 16"><path fill="#437AFF" d="M15.163 8c0 .65-.459 1.144-.863 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class="l ja"><span class="bf b bg z du"><div class="ab cn jb jc jd"><span class="bf b bg z du"><div class="ab ae"><span data-testid="storyReadTime">2 min read</span><div class="je jf l" aria-hidden="true"><span class="l" aria-hidden="true"><span class="bf b bg z du">·</span></span></div>3 days ago</div></span></div></span></div></div></div><div class="ab cp jg jh ji jj jk jl jm jn jo jp jq jr js jt ju jv"><div class="h k w fg fh q"><div class="kl l"><div class="ab q km kn"><div class="pw-multi-vote-icon fj gt ko kp kq"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="headerClapButton" rel="noopener follow" href="/m/signin?actionUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F_%2Fvote%2Fp%2F2319b14058bb&operation=register&redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fmedium.com%2F%40jackieschuld%2Fwhats-it-like-to-not-always-be-thinking-2319b14058bb&user=Jackie+Schuld&userId=8083c660a2d1&source=---header_actions--2319b14058bb---------------------clap_footer-----------"><div><div class="bm" 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0 1-.16-.3.4.4 0 0 1 .1-.32l2.8-2.8a.5.5 0 0 1 .7 0l2.8 2.79a.42.42 0 0 1 .068.498m-.106.138.008.004v-.01zM16 7.063h1.5a2 2 0 0 1 2 2v10a2 2 0 0 1-2 2h-11c-1.1 0-2-.9-2-2v-10a2 2 0 0 1 2-2H8a.5.5 0 0 1 .35.15.5.5 0 0 1 .15.35.5.5 0 0 1-.15.35.5.5 0 0 1-.35.15H6.4c-.5 0-.9.4-.9.9v10.2a.9.9 0 0 0 .9.9h11.2c.5 0 .9-.4.9-.9v-10.2c0-.5-.4-.9-.9-.9H16a.5.5 0 0 1 0-1" clip-rule="evenodd"></path></svg><div class="j i d"><p class="bf b bg z du">Share</p></div></button></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><p id="dd86" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">I have a friend who always looks peaceful. He seldom speaks when our friends gather, but he still looks content.</p><p id="d84f" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">Sometimes I stop and ask him, “Are you thinking anything?”</p><p id="7b25" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">He giggles a little and replies, “No.”</p><p id="633e" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">I cannot imagine what it would be like to have no thoughts.</p><p id="d4e6" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">A few weeks ago, our friends gathered and my friend remained his usual quiet, serene self, I pressed him further, “Are you really not thinking anything? Like do you have some thoughts and you’re just not sharing?”</p><p id="628d" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">He smiled again, “No.”</p><p id="00cc" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">It still did not compute for my mind and inquired further, “Is this normal for you?”</p><p id="89ff" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">He giggled again and said, “Yes.”</p><h2 id="7901" class="nl nm hd bf nn no np dy nq nr ns ea nt my nu nv nw nc nx ny nz ng oa ob oc od bk">I don’t understand.</h2><p id="1ff9" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq oe ms mt mu of mw mx my og na nb nc oh ne nf ng oi ni nj nk gw bk">I have worlds swimming inside my head. I have complex, connected thoughts on a multitude of issues ranging from my family to my writing career to feminism to the plants growing in the garden to the hair between my dog’s paws.</p><figure class="om on oo op oq or oj ok paragraph-image"><div role="button" tabindex="0" class="os ot fj ou bh ov"><div class="oj ok ol"><picture><source srcSet="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 640w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:720/format:webp/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 720w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:750/format:webp/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 750w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:786/format:webp/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 786w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:828/format:webp/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 828w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1100/format:webp/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 1100w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1400/format:webp/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 1400w" sizes="(min-resolution: 4dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 50vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 4) and (max-width: 700px) 50vw, (min-resolution: 3dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 67vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3) and (max-width: 700px) 65vw, (min-resolution: 2.5dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2.5) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (min-resolution: 2dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px" type="image/webp"/><source data-testid="og" srcSet="https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 640w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:720/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 720w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:750/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 750w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:786/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 786w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:828/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 828w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1100/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 1100w, https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1400/1*vEpORa3bmBSJ2z8WhzFU_A.jpeg 1400w" sizes="(min-resolution: 4dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 50vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 4) and (max-width: 700px) 50vw, (min-resolution: 3dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 67vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 3) and (max-width: 700px) 65vw, (min-resolution: 2.5dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2.5) and (max-width: 700px) 80vw, (min-resolution: 2dppx) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 2) and (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px"/><img alt="" class="bh lu ow c" width="700" height="688" loading="lazy" role="presentation"/></picture></div></div><figcaption class="ox ff oy oj ok oz pa bf b bg z du">Artwork by Jackie Schuld depicting multiple thoughts</figcaption></figure><p id="eae5" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">Sometimes I feel I’m living an entire separate life in my head.</p><p id="11f3" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">Sometimes I lie down on my bed just to think.</p><p id="3bf3" class="pw-post-body-paragraph mn mo hd mp b mq mr ms mt mu mv mw mx my mz na nb nc nd ne nf ng nh ni nj nk gw bk">I journal every day so that I can capture, remember, and integrate my thoughts.</p></div></div></div></div></section></div></div></article></div><div class="l"></div><footer class="pb pc pd pe gv ab q pf pg c"><div class="l ae"><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div class="ab cp ph"><div class="ab q km"><div class="pi l"><span class="l pj pk pl e d"><div class="ab q km kn"><div class="pw-multi-vote-icon fj gt ko kp kq"><span><a class="af ag ah ai aj ak al am an ao ap aq ar as at" data-testid="footerClapButton" rel="noopener follow" 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I'm also an autistic & ADHDer who loves to write and create art.</span></p></div></div></div><div class="h k"><div class="ab"><span><button class="bf b bg z qn qo qp qq qr qs qt ev ew qu qv qw fa fb fc fd bm fe ff">Follow</button></span></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="ro rp rq rr rs l"><div class="pu bh r ro rp rt ru rv"></div><div class="ab cb"><div class="ci bh fz ga gb gc"><div class="ab q cp"><h2 class="bf re rw rx nq ry rz nt sa sb sc sd se sf sg sh si bk">Responses (<!-- -->4<!-- -->)</h2><div class="ab sj"><div><div class="bm" aria-hidden="false"><a class="sk sl" href="https://policy.medium.com/medium-rules-30e5502c4eb4?source=post_page---post_responses--2319b14058bb--------------------------------" rel="noopener follow" target="_blank"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="25" height="25" viewBox="0 0 25 25"><path fill-rule="evenodd" d="M11.987 5.036a.754.754 0 0 1 .914-.01c.972.721 1.767 1.218 2.6 1.543.828.322 1.719.485 2.887.505a.755.755 0 0 1 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