Dr. Drew: Frequently Asked Questions

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type="text/javascript"> <![CDATA[//><!]]> </script></div><div class="node node clearfix node-type-textarticle" id="node-37103"> <div class="node-inner"> <div class=""> <div class="spon-143x31-ad ad-container"> </div> </div> <div class="text-article-title padding-lr "> <h1 class="title">Dr. Drew: Frequently Asked Questions</h1> </div> <div class="clearfix"></div> <div class="node-type-textarticle-submitted padding-lr submitted "> <div class="author">By <span class="author-name">Dr. Drew staff</span></div><div class="timestamp">updated 7:11 PM EDT, Tue August 07, 2012</div> </div> <div class="clearfix"></div> <div class="text-article-photo"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130619083645im_/http://i2.cdn.turner.com/dr/hln/www/release/sites/default/files/imagecache/textarticle_640/2012/08/03/640x360drdrew.jpg" alt="Dr. Drew: Frequently Asked Questions" title="Dr. Drew: Frequently Asked Questions" class="imagecache imagecache-textarticle_640" width="640" height="360"/> </div> <div class="content padding-lr clear-fix"> <div class="text-article-description"> <p>HLN's Dr. Drew is committed to helping individuals who are dealing with difficult issues in their everyday lives  Our staff receives hundreds of e-mails throughout the week that ask him for help in certain areas. Here is a list of the most common questions.</p> <p><strong>1) How do you get over sexual abuse?</strong><br/><br/>Dr. Drew’s response:<br/><br/><em>This is something that’s a monumental problem. Shattering experiences like sexual abuse changes the way the brain develops. The trajectory of development is altered.<br/><br/>All the regions of your brain communicate with one another. With abuse, parts get walled off, sit there and sort of, let’s say, fester -- creating unregulated behavior and feelings.<br/><br/>The trick in getting over sexual abuse is, first of all, being able to trust again – as in the trust/closeness of another person -- real, deep closeness. Then get close to a professional because when people are often sexually abused, they re-enact their trauma over and over again.<br/><br/>A traumatized individual is often not attracted to the right kind of person. But a professional is able to sit and tolerate increasing ranges of emotions with that person present to learn to re-regulate and attach to all the shame and misery that the individual’s experience caused.<br/><br/>Every sexual abuse survivor feels like, ‘Oh, I got over it. I don’t have to deal with it any more. I’m fine.’ You are not fine. Just look at your relationships and that tells you that you need help. So it’s something that requires professional help</em><br/><br/><strong>2) How do you help somebody that is threatening suicide?</strong><br/><br/>Dr. Drew’s response:<br/><br/><em>This is a very challenging topic. The one note to everyone who is not a professional is that every suicidal thought, gesture or verbalization has to be taken very seriously. It is a medical emergency.<br/><br/>People forget that somewhere around 1 out of every 5 people with depression will kill themselves. Depression is a fatal illness like many others. So if somebody says, ‘I’m going to kill myself,’ I think an appropriate question to that individual would be, ‘Do you have a plan?’ If they have a plan, call the doctor or call the police. Get them into the hands of somebody immediately.<br/><br/>When some people are really serious about suicide, they don’t really tell you, but start giving away belongings and, sort of, begin subtlety planning. Watch out for that, but never disregard suicidal thoughts, feelings or verbalizations, even if it’s somebody who does it all the time and never has been serious about it. You can’t be in that position to make that determination. You must get them in to the hands of somebody that can immediately take care of them.</em></p> <p><em>The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. </em></p> <p><strong>3) How can you fight depression and loneliness?</strong><br/><br/>Dr. Drew’s response:<br/><br/><em>Loneliness and depression are related, but kind of different, right?<br/><br/>Obviously -- don’t isolate – that’s the solution to loneliness. If you have problems with social anxiety, get treatment for that.<br/><br/>Depression though is a medical illness.  If you are really having depression – experiencing changes with your sleep (too much, too little), changes in your appetite (up or down), changes in your energy level, or having feelings of guilt or worthlessness -- these are all signs of depression.<br/><br/>Obviously, people can feel down and, for example, begin to cry. You may not even feel depressed depending what age you are.  When people feel depressed in adolescence for instance, they can get aggressive, act out sexually, and/or do drugs. They have truancy, but they don’t even describe sadness.<br/><br/>Nonetheless, I recommend, in the strongest terms, getting professional help for depression. Practice self-care. Create time to do things that are good for you that you like that are really nurturing to the self. Listening to music, eating right, exercising, having structure to your day, keeping important people around you, goes a long way to improving mood.</em><br/><br/><strong>4) I’m thinking about cheating on my spouse. What do I do?</strong><br/><br/>Dr. Drew’s response:<br/><br/><em>If you started thinking that way, as in you’ve seriously started to plan something -- you need to know that’s a symptom of serious trouble.<br/><br/>Don’t think in terms of, ‘Oh whatever’ or ‘Wouldn’t that be fun’. Think in terms of what it implies about the health of your marriage. Should you even be walking around with those feelings? What is that going to do to your marriage long-term? Remember your long-term commitment and that you made sacred vows.<br/><br/>My advice is get professional help if you’re thinking about cheating because it will have dire consequences to your marriage. It’s a direct assault on your family. So think about that next time you have those kinds of feelings.</em><br/><br/><strong>5) Do you have any easy tips for weight loss?</strong><br/><br/>Dr. Drew’s response:<br/><br/><em>If I had magical tips on that, I certainly wouldn’t withhold them from anybody. </em></p> <p><em>But when I’m dealing with patients who are trying to lose weight, I would say you have to expect to feel uncomfortable. People are somehow shocked that your body will fight you on this, in terms of getting in shape and conditioning for exercise and in terms of skipping things – not eating. Being hungry is uncomfortable. You’re going to be a little hungry. It’s work to lose weight.<br/><br/>There are now medications coming out that may help, but of course, those are options that you can discuss with your doctor before making a decision.</em><br/><br/><strong>6) How can a person deal with trauma?</strong><br/><br/>Dr. Drew’s response:<br/><br/><em>Believe me, if there were an easy answer for that, it would cause much less suffering than it does. The reality is, it takes time.  It takes professional help and supervision.<br/><br/>The primary objective is learning to tolerate being close and having emotions in a close intimate connection with another person. That person should be a therapist and/or sponsor in a 12-step program.<br/><br/>I think the multi-pronged approach to alleviating trauma is professional help, which can involve psychotherapy, 12- step, and some sort of spiritual connection, whatever that may be for you – a connection to something bigger than yourself/outside yourself. That’s where hope and faith comes in.<br/><br/>You can also find ways to give back to others and to your community.<br/><br/>And finally, garner support wherever you can from people who actually genuinely care about you.</em></p> <p> </p> <p><em>*The views expressed on this page are those of Dr. Drew Pinsky, M.D. As always, consult with your personal physician on how to deal with your specific problem.</em></p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> </div> </div> <div id="gigya-content" class="clear-fix"> <div id="gigya_share_count_1a" class="gigya-share-horizontal"><div class="native-share-wrapper facebook"><div class="native-facebook-share-count"><span class="fb-count"></span></div><a href="#" class="fb_share_link"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20130619083645im_/http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/hln/www/release/sites/default/themes/hln/images/icon_fshare.png"></a></div><div class="native-share-wrapper"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130619083645/https://twitter.com/share" 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