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class="page-title">Tag: <span>citizenship</span></h1> </header> <article id="post-6990" class="post-6990 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-blog category-brain-food category-reading tag-belonging tag-california tag-childhood tag-citizenship tag-dual-nationality tag-england tag-family tag-home tag-immigration tag-ojai-2 tag-rainesford-stauffer tag-reading tag-the-atlantic tag-third-culture-kid"> <div class="hentry-wrapper"> <header class="entry-header" > <div class="entry-header-wrapper"> <div class="entry-meta"><span class="cat-links"><a href="https://lucybellwood.com/category/blog/" rel="category tag">Blog</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/category/blog/brain-food/" rel="category tag">Brain Food</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/category/blog/reading/" rel="category tag">Reading</a></span></div><h2 class="entry-title"><a href="https://lucybellwood.com/homesick-for-many-places/" rel="bookmark">Homesick for Many Places</a></h2> </div> </header> <div class="entry-content"> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p>I am wired for coming home in the same way it is assumed we are wired for leaving. Any adventure that lures me out is no match for the ties that draw me home again. I come home in the way you’d fall asleep after a day spent in the heat of the sun—before you know it’s happened, before you know you want to. Half the pang of growing up for me was realizing that I’d somehow have to create a sense of home wherever I went, that for all the effort I spent trying to leave, all I would ever want to do is figure out homecomings, ways of returning to the place where I feel the most like me.</p></blockquote> <p><a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://twitter.com/libbybrittain" target="_blank">Libby</a> sent me <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/05/move-back-hometown-big-city-small-town-success-failure/618819/" target="_blank">this Rainesford Stauffer essay</a> from <em>The Atlantic</em> (adapted from her book <em>An Ordinary Age</em>) and god damn. It’s about home and motion and FOMO and belonging and it is very, very good.</p> <blockquote class="wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow"><p>Where do you feel safe, and like you belong? Are you homesick for many places, like a hometown and a college town and maybe somewhere entirely different? Is it possible to have roots in multiple places?</p></blockquote> <p>The last one: woof. </p> <p>I spent so much of my childhood wrestling with confusion over where I was supposed to fit in. English parents, California upbringing. Older family, only child. House full of books and in-jokes and accents and cultural references my peers didn’t get. A voice that sounded out of place on family visits to the UK. I wanted <em>so badly</em> to figure out why it was so hard for me to feel a sense of belonging, or why, when I did find a place that seemed to capture the rare scent of home, I couldn’t quite fit in. </p> <p>It’s a much longer conversation than I have time to dive into now, but that question—the notion of being homesick for many places—just knocked the wind out of me. I stopped wrestling with it quite as much as I got older—partly because I began to grow more comfortable with myself, but also because I started to feel shame around wanting to explore immigration or dual nationality or being a <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_culture_kid" target="_blank">third culture kid</a> when a) my nationality is split between two massively privileged, problematic countries, and b) I’m white.</p> <p>I know it’s not that binary. I’ve had rich, magical conversations with friends from varied nationalities who have enunciated things I never thought I’d hear another person capture. We’ve found common ground in those moments and it has felt like a form of belonging—of home. But I’m still scared to claim it. The focus at this moment in time (rightly so) is on making space for the intersections of identity that have been elided or repressed by White Supremacist culture to be heard. I don’t feel like I have the right to take up space with my own investigation into why I feel out of place—at least not in public. I know, on some level, I am robbing myself by doing this, but I’m still trying to find my way toward the method that feels both ethically considerate and true.</p> <p>Anyway, the Stauffer essay. It was very good.</p> </div> <footer class="entry-footer"> <span class="posted-on"><a href="https://lucybellwood.com/homesick-for-many-places/" rel="bookmark"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2021-05-20T17:26:30-07:00">May 20, 2021</time><time class="updated" datetime="2021-05-20T17:32:23-07:00">May 20, 2021</time></a></span><span class="tags-links"><a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/belonging/" rel="tag">belonging</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/california/" rel="tag">california</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/childhood/" rel="tag">childhood</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/citizenship/" rel="tag">citizenship</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/dual-nationality/" rel="tag">dual nationality</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/england/" rel="tag">England</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/family/" rel="tag">family</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/home/" rel="tag">home</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/immigration/" rel="tag">immigration</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/ojai-2/" rel="tag">ojai</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/rainesford-stauffer/" rel="tag">rainesford stauffer</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/reading/" rel="tag">reading</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/the-atlantic/" rel="tag">the atlantic</a>, <a href="https://lucybellwood.com/tag/third-culture-kid/" rel="tag">third culture kid</a></span> </footer> </div> </article> </main> </div> </div> <aside id="tertiary" class="widget-area widget-footer" role="complementary"> <div class="widget-footer-area widget-footer-top-area column-1"> <div class="widget-area-wrapper"> <section id="block-3" class="widget widget_block widget_text"> <p></p> </section> </div> </div> <div class="widget-footer-area widget-footer-bottom-area column-1"> <div class="widget-area-wrapper"> <section id="block-2" class="widget widget-small widget_block"> <div class="wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex"> <div class="wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow"> <h3 class="wp-block-heading">Upcoming Appearances</h3> <ul class="wp-block-list"> <li><a href="https://bartsbooksojai.com/courtyardevents/2efw372lr6pd6w0gozcsrn62x6aun4"><strong>Interviewing Carson Ellis</strong></a> - 6pm-7pm, Saturday, October 12th at Bart's Books in Ojai, CA</li> </ul> <h3 class="wp-block-heading">Past Appearances</h3> <ul class="wp-block-list"> <li><strong><a href="https://www.annarborartcenter.org/drawing-worlds/"><em>Drawing Worlds</em></a> Opening Reception</strong> - Friday, June 14th at the Ann Arbor Art Center, Ann Arbor, MI</li> <li><a href="https://a2caf.com/"><strong>Ann Arbor Comic Arts Festival (A2CAF)</strong></a> - Free admission Saturday & Sunday, June 15th-16th at the Ann Arbor District Library, Ann Arbor, MI</li> <li><a href="https://lucybellwood.com/a-rare-appearance/"><strong>Interviewing Tessa Hulls</strong></a> - 6pm-7pm, Thursday, March 21st at Bart's Books in Ojai, CA</li> </ul> </div> </div> </section> </div> </div> </aside> </div> <footer id="colophon" class="site-footer" role="contentinfo"> <div class="site-footer-wrapper"> <div class="site-info"> <a href="https://wordpress.org/">Proudly powered by WordPress</a> <span class="sep">/</span> Theme: Shoreditch by <a href="https://wordpress.com/themes/" rel="designer">Automattic</a>. </div> </div> </footer> </div> <style id='core-block-supports-inline-css' type='text/css'> .wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-1{flex-wrap:nowrap;} </style> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://lucybellwood.com/wp-content/plugins/content-views-query-and-display-post-page/assets/ie-fix/html5shiv.min.js?ver=3.7.0" id="pt-cv-html5shiv-script-js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://lucybellwood.com/wp-content/plugins/content-views-query-and-display-post-page/assets/ie-fix/respond.js?ver=1.4.2" id="pt-cv-respond-script-js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://lucybellwood.com/wp-includes/js/dist/hooks.min.js?ver=2810c76e705dd1a53b18" id="wp-hooks-js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://lucybellwood.com/wp-includes/js/dist/i18n.min.js?ver=5e580eb46a90c2b997e6" id="wp-i18n-js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" id="wp-i18n-js-after"> /* <![CDATA[ */ wp.i18n.setLocaleData( { 'text direction\u0004ltr': [ 'ltr' ] } ); 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