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href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/">Back to front page »</a></p> <div class="blog_post lead single family-matters "> <div class="post-info"> <small class="post-date" id="day_19">October 19, 2007,  2:32 pm</small> <h2 class="post-title">Birth Control on the Playground?</h2> </div> <div class="post-content"> <p>Like many parents, I was fairly shocked to <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/18/us/18portland.html?ref=health" target="_blank">read</a> in The Times that a Maine school district will begin dispensing birth control to middle-school students. It’s difficult to imagine that the 11- to 13-year-olds I’ve met could possibly be interested in sex. </p> <p>As a result, I decided to find out what we really know about middle school kids and sex. <a id="more-73"></a>Much of the data focuses on high school kids, but in 2003, the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University attempted to track sexual activity among adolescents. The research report, called “<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://www.teenpregnancy.org/resources/reading/youngteens/default.asp" target="_blank">14 and Younger: the Sexual Behavior of Young Adolescents</a>,” concluded that most kids under 14 — about 80 percent — were not having sex. Still, that means that one in five young adolescents had had a sexual experience. </p> <p>What’s of such concern is that the data show we should be doing far more for these kids than handing out birth control. The study found, for instance, that first sexual experiences among younger girls were more likely to be unwanted, compared to girls who don’t have sex until age 15 or older. And early sexual activity has been linked in other studies to increased risks for smoking, alcohol and drug use and dropping out of school.</p> <p>Here are some of the researchers’ main findings.</p> <ul> <li>Middle school kids “date.” Nearly half of the kids ages 14 and younger who were surveyed reported having been on a date or having had a romantic relationship in the previous 18 months.</li> <li>About one in five kids had had sexual intercourse by age 14. Percentages increased with age. By age 12, 4 to 5 percent of adolescents had had sex. At age 13, the figure had increased to 10 percent, and by age 14 it was between 18 and 19 percent. </li> <li>Boys are more likely than girls to have had sex at an early age. By age 12, 2 to 4 percent of girls had been sexually active, while 6 to 8 percent of boys had been sexually active. </li> <li>Among kids having sex, three-quarters reported using condoms. However, half of the 14-year-olds surveyed incorrectly believed it was against the law for kids under 16 to buy condoms. </li> <li>One in seven sexually active girls in this age group had been pregnant.</li> </ul> <p>The survey wasn’t designed to answer questions about young kids and oral sex. Another <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?tool=pubmed&pubmedid=17710195" target="_blank">report</a> last year by the Pacific Institute for Research and Education in Berkeley, Calif., found that 11 percent of kids ages 12 to 16 had engaged in oral sex, whereas 8 percent reported having had sexual intercourse. That report doesn’t say how common oral sex was among the youngest kids in the survey, but it does note that the likelihood of kids’ engaging in both sexual behaviors was lower among the youngest and increased as adolescents got closer to age 16. </p> <p>The good news is that progress has been made in reducing teen pregnancy overall as well as in adolescents. In 1988, the pregnancy rate for girls 14 and under peaked at 17.8 per 1,000 girls, but by 2002 it had dropped to 8.6 per 1,000 girls, according to a <a href="www.guttmacher.org/pubs/state_pregnancy_trends.pdf " target="_blank">survey</a> last year from the Guttmacher Institute.</p> <p>The “14 and Younger” report advises parents, at the very least, not to allow younger adolescents to “date,” particularly if a child has paired with someone older. A third of 12-year-olds and almost half of 14-year-olds had been to a party where no adult was present, the authors found. </p> <p>“Parents need to know where their children are, what they are doing, and with whom,” the researchers concluded. </p> </div> <div class="post-info"> <ul class="post-tools"> <li><a class="post-link" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/19/birth-control-on-the-playground/" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to Birth Control on the Playground?">Link</a></li> <li> <a class="post-email" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://www.nytimes.com/auth/login?URI=http%3A%2F%2Fwell.blogs.nytimes.com%2F2007%2F10%2F19%2Fbirth-control-on-the-playground%2F"><strong>E-mail this</strong></a> </li> </ul> <ul class="post-tools"> </ul> <ul class="post-tools"> <li></li> <li> </li> </ul> <ul class="post-tools"> <li> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/category/family-matters/">Family Matters</a>, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/tag/contraception" rel="tag">contraception</a>, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/tag/kids" rel="tag">kids</a>, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/tag/sex" rel="tag">sex</a>, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/tag/teens" rel="tag">teens</a> </li> </ul> <div id="related"> <h3>Related</h3> <ul> <li><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/08/online-socializing-safer-than-you-think/">Online Socializing: Safer Than You Think?</a></li><li><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/06/rewriting-rap-to-empower-teens/">Rewriting Rap to Empower Teens</a></li><li><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/26/questioning-the-value-of-stealth-nutrition/">Questioning the Value of 'Stealth' Veggies</a></li><li><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/23/for-kids-at-mealtime-portions-count-not-calories/">For Kids, a Full Plate Counts, Not Calories</a></li> </ul> </div> </div>   </div>  <div id="blog_comments"> <h3 id="comments">60 comments so far...</h3> <ul class="commentlist"> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2134"> <div class="index">1.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 19th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2134" title="">4:55 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I thought the most significant fact from the Times story was that five out of the 500 students at that school in Maine are sexually active. It’s a good thing to keep in mind, that as shocking as “birth control in a middle school!” sounds, it was implemented to benefit (literally) 1% of the student population. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Liz Welsh </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2135"> <div class="index">2.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 19th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2135" title="">5:02 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I would be interested to know the what the parent-child relationship is like in those young kids who reported to be engaging in sex (either oral or otherwise). I would imagine the relationship is either non-exisited or at the very least highly strained. </p> <p>I am amazed at the researchers conclussion, since it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Does it? </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Dawn </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2164"> <div class="index">3.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 19th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2164" title="">10:43 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Do kids need birth control? Yes. Although not common on a nationwide scale, kids having sex in middle school gets more and more prevalent the more poverty, crime and parental neglect are factors in a kid’s life. That means in inner-city schools, having sex at a young age may not be that unusual. </p> <p>As far as the reseachers’ conclusion–i.e., that parents need to be informed of their kids’ whereabouts–goes, I agree that that is hands-down the best solution. But what do you do if the parents are working two and three jobs to survive, or are non-English-speaking, and/or dealing with addiction? What if the parents are the ones raping their kids? We can’t pretend that all these kids are growing up in a world where “if only their parents knew what they were doing” they would put a stop to their kids’ behavior. Birth control is not enough. Counselors need to be available in every school to address these kinds of problems. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Catherine </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2165"> <div class="index">4.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 19th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2165" title="">10:44 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>You’re kidding - the way to prevent young teens from engaging in sex is to forbid them to date !? Anyone who remembers being that age will know that this has got to be one of the fastest ways to get your child to do what you don’t want them to - because when they have to lie to you about who they are going out to see, they may as well lie to you about what they’re doing with them. A far better solution would be to maintain an active relationship with your child in which they feel comfortable discussing sex with you - which means you have to accept the fact that your 13 year old might come up to you one day and say ‘I have been thinking about having sex.’ Being able to approach that conversation non-judgmentally and openly will increase the likelihood that your child will ultimately act in accordance with the values he or she has been raised with - and, if they still decide they are ready to have sex, at least they will feel comfortable discussing their need for birth control. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Laura </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2166"> <div class="index">5.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 19th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2166" title="">11:29 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>In Maine, the age of consent is 16 I believe. If a child is having sex at age 11 it’s child abuse. Planned Parenthood must be thrilled. I am sure they will be building an abortion clinic right in the thick of it. What is wrong with telling children to wait? How about exercising some self control? We are not animals. We can learn to control our impulses. Our children deserve better and parents have a right to know. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Carla Stream </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2174"> <div class="index">6.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 20th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2174" title="">2:02 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Wake up, America! In most states teens can get confidential medical care for STDs, contraception, abortion, and pregnancy care. I am a physician, and I am violating the adolescent’s privacy if I tell her parents that she is pregnant, has an STD, etc. If you are a parent, you need to understand that it’s illegal for me to tell you about your child’s sexual history. This is to prevent teens from not accessing care because of their fears of not getting confidential treatment. Please don’t come in asking your doctor to “check my daughter to see if she’s a virgin, ” “do a drug test on my kid,” etc. If you can’t talk to your child about that stuff, you need to work on your relationship. But most parents are CLUELESS about confidentiality issues and teen care. I can’t count the number of times I’ve treated 14 year olds for gonorrhea and had to tell white lies to their parents. Wake up, parents of teens! If you are shocked that school clinics can give out contraception, you have NO IDEA what is going on with your kids. The more shocked you are, likely the greater chance there is that I have treated your “angelic, virginal teen” for an STD. Get a clue. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by cm </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2190"> <div class="index">7.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 20th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2190" title="">8:22 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>The greatest deficiency of the report(s) of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy seems the lack of reference and consideration about the Anorexia-Bulimia Nervosa in middle-school students. Although confused and disoriented about it, the teenagers are interested in sex. </p> <p>The parents and teachers should inform the young adolescents of the slowly emerging evidence that condomized sex leads to ANOREXIA in the schoolgirls, instead of teaching them to use condom to “prevent pregnancy.” If the reduced pregnancy rates have been achieved by more prevalent and rampant prevalence of anorexia-bulimia in schoolgirls, nowadays, with related risks and consequences to their physical and reproductive health, it could hardly be viewed ‘good news’ or ‘progress’. The information about the huge risk of anorexia could better ‘empower’ the adolescents to protect themselves against the life-threatening condition-demon, and to balance the risk-benefits ratio of their nascent sexual drive, school progress and personal happiness, by (temporarily) practicing abstinence.</p> <p>Arne N. Gjorgov, M.D., M.P.H., Ph.D. (UNC-SPH, Chapel Hill, NC)<br/> Author of the “Barrier Contraception and Breast Cancer” study, 1980: x+164 </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Arne N. Gjorgov, MD, PhD </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2214"> <div class="index">8.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 20th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2214" title="">1:28 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I am so confused by Dr. Gjorgov’s comment. What and why would there be a connection between the use of condoms and anorexia? Please add to your comment for us, Dr. G. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by annie s. </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2217"> <div class="index">9.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 20th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2217" title="">2:18 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I just don’t know when this society is going to realize that biologically, children should begin having their own children by their late teens. The sexual drive in the teens is enormous and cannot be controlled by the idea of abstinence alone. The old, dried up fools who populate our legislatures and medical programs seem to have forgotten all about desire. We live in a society which does not allow children to begin their lives until they have finished a good part of college, and yet we keep insisting that those same students eschew sexual relations until marriage. This is unrealistic in the extreme. If you want kids to be careful you have to tell them about what happens if they aren’t. You could tell middle school girls about the risk of oral gonorrhea or other sexually transmitted diseases that can come from oral sex (herpes for example). If you tell them about these things perhaps they will abstain, or, more likely, they will get back to old fashion intercourse using condoms to prevent problems. There is no easy answer where intense desire is involved. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Joel L. Friedlander </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2218"> <div class="index">10.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 20th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2218" title="">2:48 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Percentages skew things… 1% may sound small, but then imagine 5 pregnant girls at that middle school. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Joanne </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2219"> <div class="index">11.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 20th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2219" title="">2:58 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>There is no evidence that access to contraception increases the frequency of sexual intercourse in teens.<br/> The provision of contraceptive devices is responsible for most of the reduction in teen pregnancy the US has experienced recently. If we stop doing this we are doing our children damage. </p> <p>If we want to stop sexual activity at young ages, we need to stop the American entertainment industry’s focus on sex. Lots of luck with that. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Eric A </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2233"> <div class="index">12.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 20th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2233" title="">5:26 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Wow. I’m shocked that Ms. Parker-Pope is shocked. I’m a PhD in my thirties and was educated at some very high-powered universities, and 14 is a common age at which friends lost their virgnity. 13 is not that different. Plus I was definitely having very sexual thoughts as early as 10 or 11. </p> <p>Why should it seem weird that middle-schoolers are sexual, particularly in our hyper-sexualized culture? 13-year-olds who aren’t thinking that much about sex probably grow up to be 30-year-olds who don’t think that much about sex. People with high adult sex drives probably start to experience them during those pre-adolescent years. </p> <p>Sure it would be great if all human beings got enough love and caring and developed the confidence to wait to have sex with someone who cherishes and treasures them, but get real. I applaud the school district in Maine for giving birth control to those who need it. Bravi tutti to all involved in the decision. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by jane </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2266"> <div class="index">13.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 20th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2266" title="">11:01 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>The comment about Planned Parenthood and the building of abortion clinics is completely out of line. Planned Parenthood has provided a plethora of much needed services to poor men and women for decades. They are an admirable organization dedicated to understanding and teaching people about their bodies and sexuality. Yes they provide abortions, but they also provide annuals, STD testing, pregnancy testing, low-cost/ free contraceptives, etc. And NO, no one is happy or excited to have abortions, to have abortions in there neighborhood or to hear/ know that young children are having unprotected sex. Stop being hateful and concentrating on abortion. Why don’t you do something more productive and creative to help us educate young people about responsibility? Why don’t you work in your local community center or with Planned Parenthood to see what you can do to reduce abortion? Stop the ignorance, stop the inflated language and do something productive. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Jessica </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2334"> <div class="index">14.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 21st,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2334" title="">4:00 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>A friend of mine shared that she had recently noticed an older woman in the local children’s hospital with about 6 toddlers under two. A former social worker with child protective services, my friend knew right away that this was a foster parent, and learned she was right as they chatted. When she extolled the woman for her good-hearted nature and loving interaction with these small children, the lady said, “It’s so very sad. Every day, I have 14 year old girls asking me if I can take their baby too. These little baby mamas can’t even handle getting their homework finished, let alone meet the needs of a screaming baby. I know that sooner of later, i will be taking care of their baby too.”</p> <p>For girls like these, who become parent not by choce, but because of social pressures, lack of love in their own lives, demands of older boyfriends or from rape, access to contraception (including the morning after pill) has to be part of the solution, if not for the sake of them and their childrn, then for the sake of our society. Sure, we need to fund social, educational and mental health services to address the bigger issues, but that doesn’t excuse us from closing our eyes to these girls’ reality, or to the consequences of these pregnancies.</p> <p>Adoption is great, chastity is great, but these options are not ones most of these girls will choose. SO, if the school-based health services will save the life of one teen, prevent the abuse of one of her kids, give one girl time to grow up and find a ray of hope, then we should allow contraception in middle schools. </p> <p>-from a social service professional in the trenches </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Susan </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2335"> <div class="index">15.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 21st,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2335" title="">4:03 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I feel this is completely unnessessary!!! If you want to prevent teenaged girls from getting pregnant teach then the risks of having sex!! In my school last year we had a program called Winners Wait. It was an abstinence program that taught the risks of having sex and drinking alchohol. They showed of graphic pictures of what STS’s can do to your body and it scared us all. It scared us so much we pledged to never have sex till we get married!! So this is teens our age need! Not birth control!! </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Brittany Gray Age-14 </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2353"> <div class="index">16.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 21st,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2353" title="">9:59 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I think this is a great idea to have in schools. I dont feel that by having the birth control available will cause an increase in the number of sexually active teens. I know of many young teens around the age of 13 and 14 who are sexually active. Having programs and classes to teach young teens about the risks of having sex is GREAT however many teens hear it but dont listen. Just like being told not to do something by your parents…kids dont always listen when the time comes. Educating kids is number one and backing it up with oral contracepts is even better. I think it will lower the percent of teen pregnancies and help young teens with their lives. If a 14 year old wants to have sex they are going to either way. Kids are having sex now without using condoms and without being on birth control. We might as well prevent pregnancies. I know of young adults my age around 18 who have never been to the gyno and are having sex without Birth control. Some people arent educated enough and are not offered birth control and are afraid to reach out and go out and get it. I think it is a great idea but not a solution. Education should be more focused on and be rethought to were it is in greater detail and covers everything. Some parents are afraid to talk to their kids about some things about sex that they feel may be too graphic or extreme but these days kids know more about things at a younger age and parents and teachers shouldnt just assume. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Nicole </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2361"> <div class="index">17.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 22nd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2361" title="">1:11 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>It is a shame to see so many parents shocked to see pre-adolescents interested into sex. It is not only just the adolescents, but pre-teens too. I’m speaking this as an seventeen-year old highschool adolescent. In this society, sex sells and pretty much everything in the media is about sex, esp. in the movies and music enterntainment industry.<br/> I truly find this a disappointment with the parents, because it is the responsibility of a parent to mention about such topics like sex and its aftermath to pre-adolescents. Must I remind you, kids start thinking about sex at an early age. I remembered elementary students being sexually promiscious around 5th - 6th grade.<br/> This is nothing new to the world, it is time for the parents to wake up and introduce yourself to the sex-saturated world that your kids live in. If you want kids, pre-adolescents, adolescents to abstain from sex then you should start talking about sex at earlier age to prevent it, because if a kids is informed on what is the aftermath then more than likely they wouldn’t try it. But if you try to hide it from the child, its more than likely they will be curious to find out and even experiment it. Birthcontrol and condoms are not the answers to prevent STDs or kids from trying sex.<br/> It is really up to the parents to talk to their kids and actually communciate with them. Parents need to know how their children feels about sex and other problems the child faces with their peers. The child will try sex because of peer pressure and the overrated hype that the media portrays sex as. Solve the problem and communicate, they’ll appreciated. I know I appreciated the little “talk” with my mom about sex at an early age. Well there’s my two-cents of advice…. Hope it helps anyone that is actually listening, especially for the parents that are a bit naive about their sweet little “angels”. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Leilanei Miranda </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2380"> <div class="index">18.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 22nd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2380" title="">9:56 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I think a lot of us forget what we were like when we were that age. Just because we “wish” that our babies are still babies, don’t mean they are. They grow up, just like we did. They get curious, just like we did. They are embarrassed to talk to mom, just like we were. They are more than likely going to experiment, just like we did!! Don’t forget what you were like at that age and you will realize what your kids are going through! </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Heather </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2381"> <div class="index">19.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 22nd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2381" title="">9:59 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>While I’m glad Britney has pledged to keep her virginity until she’s married, she does not have the benefit of the long view. I did that when I was a young teen too. So did many of my friends - and we believed it.</p> <p>Merely being told to abstain and what it could do to us if we had sex wasn’t enough. Within two years of taking that pledge, two of my friends got pregnant and abandoned their dreams to raise children out of high school. Another contracted an STD.</p> <p>And it wasn’t because we were poor. It wasn’t because of any problems with our parents…it was because the decision makers in our school and community were blind to reality.</p> <p>One thing we weren’t old about in our very conservative community was how to get or use contraceptives. I think it would have helped us - just as it can help any young person with questions and a burgeoning sexuality. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by MJ </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2434"> <div class="index">20.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 22nd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2434" title="">3:41 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>The only thing sex was created for was to procreate so if you aren’t looking to get pregnant… why are you engaging in the one act that will guarantee you a pregnancy?</p> <p>So confusing.. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Karen </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2441"> <div class="index">21.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 22nd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2441" title="">4:56 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>It is also important to remember that all of the 5 kids in the school in Maine who reported sexual activity to their school nurse were aged 14 and 15, not 11 or 12. There was a lot of media mis-information in this case. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by EP </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2451"> <div class="index">22.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 22nd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2451" title="">6:38 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>In response to the comments about hypersexualization in the entertainment industry: since this is obviously a factor in irresponsible behavior, especially among teenagers/pre-teens, and besides I can’t see any benefits to it - why is it accepted as unchangeable? If the media is telling children the opposite of what authority figures are telling them, the cognitive dissonance will make them go with the former. It wouldn’t abolish all of this behavior but it would create a more permanent solution to address this first. I don’t have any statistics on teen pregnancies but I doubt they were as common about 50 years ago, although this could also be because of stronger family relationships as some have said. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Anna </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2454"> <div class="index">23.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 22nd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2454" title="">7:02 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>To Karen’s comment:<br/> Sex for many people is not just for procreation. For many people is something fun, intimate and enjoyable. The fact that contraceptive methods have existed for many thousands of years shows that as humans, separation of sex with pregnancy is nothing new. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by S.Z. </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2459"> <div class="index">24.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 22nd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2459" title="">8:59 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>To Karen #20:</p> <p>Sex was not “created” for us to procreate. Sex was not “created” at all. It is a biological process like eating. People cannot choose not to engage in sexual activity–many have tried, and it doesn’t work. Maybe some people biologically have no sex drive, and frankly that sounds in some ways like an enviable condition (just think how productive you could be!), but for the vast vast vast majority of people, not having sex of any kind is just not possible. </p> <p>The biologically ideal age for a human female to reproduce seems to be around 18. From the onset of physical puberty (around age 11 for many) the body is expecting sexual activity and we can’t just decide that that’s wrong and expect kids not to be sexual.</p> <p>I’m not saying that there is no way for us to control our behavior. We can; many teenagers do abstain, at least for a while, and many of those who don’t are far less promiscuous than we adults seem to fear. But not all will hold back, and what they are doing isn’t unnatural.</p> <p>How could it be shocking that even young teenagers are interested in sex? Their bodies are not attuned to our contemporary world and our contemporary values. Just because we have decided that kids should wait until marriage (after college, no less) to be sexually active doesn’t mean their bodies magically agree.</p> <p>And really, why would Planned Parenthood be “thrilled”? Their whole reason for existing is to REDUCE unwanted pregnancies, to educate people about risks and consequences, and to keep people healthy and safe and in control of their bodies and destinies. </p> <p>Deep understanding of risks and consequences is heavy stuff for teenagers; some of them are not intellectually sophisticated enough to get it. But there are plenty of risks that are vivid enough to keep even a teenager seeing the big picture and staying safe.</p> <p>Roseanne Barre on her sitcom put it best: “They told us if we had sex we’d be called ’slut.’ They should have just told us we’d be called ‘mommy.’” </p> <p><cite>— Posted by s </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2460"> <div class="index">25.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 22nd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2460" title="">9:21 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I think (or hope) that Karen’s comment was intended to shed sarcasm on the issue of pre-marital sex and the public school system’s approach to “abstinence only” education. Data does suggest that teens are showing lower pregnancy rates, however I think this may stem more from a greater availability of contraception and education rather than “stronger family relationships”.<br/> The reality is children are having children of their own these days. For this to happen, children must be having sex! Shocker. Although I applaud a previous poster’s pledge to maintain her virginity, the important thing to realize is that a disproportionate number of pre-teens and teens who are getting pregnant, engaging in sex, and contracting and transmitting STI’s come from the segment of the population with the lowest socioeconomic status. This may reflect (studies have suggested) the lack of access to things such as education on sexually related issues, school counselors, guidance at home, positive role models, and contraception. That being said, it is important for communities and school systems to realize that it is NOT a new trend where the youth of today are having sex at an earlier age. The rates may be increasing due to a cultural influence here in the United States, but it is happening and has been happening for some time. Fixing the problem by pushing the “abstinence only” agenda may target a subset of the population, but it does not envelope all those at risk, especially those who are most vulnerable who do not have resources. Additional services need to be available and may come in the form of safer sex education, contraception availability in schools, abortion clinics, and most importantly access to healthcare. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by AJ </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2462"> <div class="index">26.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 22nd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2462" title="">9:38 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Here is my thought. I am in high shcool now and I know I never ever had sex ed in middle school. In this article it describes that 14 year olds thought it was illegal for them to buy condoms!!!! That is crazy! These kids dont even know what they are doing before they do it! Don’t give children birth control before they have even hit puberty. Who knows how this will affect their development and future as women. Birth control is intended for a girls or women who have already began then menstral cycle, not for children! If you are going to offer protection, offer condoms! </p> <p><cite>— Posted by rebecca </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2474"> <div class="index">27.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2474" title="">12:34 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I live in Portland, Maine, and the high schools and middle schools have been offering condoms for years. The pill is just another option for students who are sexually active. It’s also important to remember that only students whose parents have signed a permission form can visit the in-school clinic. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Ellen </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2478"> <div class="index">28.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2478" title="">1:09 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I see many people do not think that middle school students are thinking about or having sex. Well, just come and enjoy one day at my job. I work in a facility for teenage mothers. The average age in our facility is 15 years old. Many of them admit that they have been having sex for more than two years. They all have no clue about birth control and some of them believe the crazy myths about sex( cannot get pregnant on your period, etc.). Many of the girls come to our facility and have multiple stds and do not care. They are more concerned about trying to run away with their “baby daddies” than trying to learn about parenting. By the way, 75% of our residents are pregnant by grown men, 21 and over. The important thing here is not to argue about the distribution of birth control but we need to be trying to figure out how to save our young people in this country and keep pedophiles away from these young girls. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by shelly </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2494"> <div class="index">29.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2494" title="">6:05 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>As a former middle school teacher in one of the most affluent suburbs of Boston, I know that it is not only children of low-income families living in the inner city who are having sex (and oral sex) in middle school. Children whose parents do have, and take, the time to talk to them about abstinence nonetheless DO have sex. And some of them DO get pregnant and risk contracting sexually-transmitted diseases, particularly when they are too scared or too ill-formed to buy birth control of any type or talk to their parents (who would probably not respond well to requests for birth control from their 12-year-old!).</p> <p>I do not yet have children, but I would greatly prefer that my 13-year-old daughter have access to protection from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases without my knowledge than that she had to choose between parenthood, adoption, or abortion at all. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Former MS teacher </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2522"> <div class="index">30.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2522" title="">8:30 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>No, this is not right. Children need clear guidelines - this sends a mixed message to them. Much like saying - “hey, don’t do drugs, but since we know you might, here are free needles so you won’t get AIDS.” Young children spend too much time away from their parents. They rely on their peers instead. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Steph12 </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2531"> <div class="index">31.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2531" title="">8:53 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I recently retired from middle school teaching in an urban district in NY State. In the last 15 years I never taught above grade 8 yet yearly at least 3 or 4 girls out of the 4 grade 8 homerooms in the school were pregnant.In a few cases, they were pregnant with their second child. Needless to say, for most if not all, this effectively ended their education. Some girls were sexually active by grade 5. Many of the girls began their menstrual cycle at grade 3. </p> <p>We cannot legislate morality or family bonds. If the family is not willing or able to be strongly involved should we abandon the young person to her own devices? Even among young women of strong social and family backgrounds, pregnancy is occurring alarmingly early. “Forbidding” any type of behavior in adolescents has traditionally been found to be not as effective as parents or the community might like to believe and these young people are not asking permission to have sex. As for abstinence education, I had all the abstinence education a person could very well get (12 years in Catholic school) yet girls in my time got pregnant too, though a bit later as we did not physically mature as early.<br/> Yes, birth control in middle school is necessary. They will not discuss this with their parents because, to them, it is a peer group issue. They need it most because we need to buy them time for their minds to catch up with their bodies. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by NS </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2549"> <div class="index">32.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2549" title="">9:21 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I feel like the most important factor to be considered is that these are middle schoolers. I would not trust data taken from kids of this age on this subject, or any subject for that mater.<br/> As a highschool student and former middle schooler, I can tell you for certain that the 20% who have said that they have engaged in sexual intercourse, have not. This may be a harsh reality but kids lie about their sex life, even if they don’t have one. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Christian the high school student </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2565"> <div class="index">33.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2565" title="">9:50 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I am not thrilled about easy access to birth-control pills for young adolescents, not because it promotes promiscuity but rather the hormonal side effects. Young teenagers might not be aware of what these drugs do, so they should be taught exactly what happens from this pill as well as other birth control choices. Some people, like myself, have a very horrible reaction to this medication and non-hormonal contraception is more or less the only choice we have.</p> <p>I think what might be most disturbing is the belief its illegal to buy condoms if under 16. If there is such rumors in the school then a logical step would be to educate students what is available to them and ultimatly to disspell these myths. I understand abstience only is the trend for public schools but why should discussing modern birth-control available on the market be banned from discussing in health class. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by KristieLee </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2584"> <div class="index">34.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2584" title="">10:19 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>To Carla, #5, </p> <p>Yes, as a matter of fact, we ARE animals. Mammals, to be exact. Look it up.</p> <p>Educating children is never wrong, giving them tools to make better decisions is never wrong. How much self control do adults have? We have whopping amounts of consumer debt, we save very little money, we cheat on our taxes and our spouses. We are not excatly, as a society, the models of self control. </p> <p>There is absolutely nothing wrong with teaching children to wait. If you cared to know, Planned Parenthood teaches abstinence is the ONLY way to prevent STDs and pregnancy. That said, they also teach those who are sexually active how not to get STDs and pregnant. Why is abortion the only thing with which Planned Parenthood is associated? That is a complete misconception that gets exploited again and again to whose benefit? It is a knee jerk reaction and it is false.</p> <p>I don’t know anyone whose children do exactly as they are told, from going to bed, doing homework, eating candy, bothering their siblings, etc. You can teach your kids anything you want, and good luck to you. I want my kids to be protected from themselves when they go out into the world and experiment with things I already know may be bad for them, that they may not be ready for, and that may lead to dire consequences had I chosen to stick my head in the sand and pretended they would never want to know what sex is. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by DW </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2604"> <div class="index">35.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2604" title="">10:51 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I think the best analogy for this unfortunate situation would be to imagine a 12 or 13 y/o who steals a car…. Should they be driving? Absolutely not! But if they do– I want them to wear their seatbelt!</p> <p>s.l.b.– Gynecologist, and mother of two young girls, 9 and 4, who will ABSOLUTELY know how and why to wear their seatbelts…… </p> <p><cite>— Posted by s.l.b. </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2621"> <div class="index">36.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2621" title="">11:21 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>schools should not be teaching abstinence alone, and then it wouldn’t be a mixed message to have contraception available while extolling the virtues of not having sex. instilling fear and ignorance where proper facts would be better suited is not the answer. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by mjeh </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2626"> <div class="index">37.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2626" title="">11:23 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I find it surprising that in all these comments only one raised the question of the risk of prescribing hormones to girls still going through puberty. Don’t get me wrong - I’m not preaching abstinence because its clear that this doesn’t work very well. We are a very puritanical society - sex isn’t just something people do - its supposed to be wrong, and hence so alluring - its all over the media, and its never honestly talked about. No wonder kids are both fascinated and confused. We need to get over this if we’re going to address the real problems here. Kids need education, they need somewhere they can get honest advice and answers and parents may not be the best ones to provide it - they are too emotionally involved in the question.<br/> However, flawed as condoms are, they are still the best choice for anyone at this age. Birth control pills don’t protect against STDs and there is no information about the long term effects of taking hormones during puberty. Could the fact that so many 30 year olds have trouble conceiving have something to do with the decade they were on the pill in their 20’s? If we’re talking about protecting these girl’s futures, we need to look at the big picture. The commenter above who pointed out that so many of these kids are facing horrible situations is right - and a lot of this boils down to the problem that they are so caught up in either surviving or enjoying the present that they have no sense that they have a future at all. If kids are more focused on what they want for their future, they may be better equipped to make responsible choices. Solving the problem of teen pregnancies is going to require a holistic approach that addresses education, improving the social situations of a lot of kids, access to contraceptives, and real open and honest dialogue about what kind of a world we all want to live in.<br/> So much of the american way is to ‘take a pill and call me in the morning’, rather than fix the underlying problem. But there is no magic bullet. I don’t know what we should be doing, but clearly this is a problem that can’t be fixed by throwing some prescription drugs at it. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by a new and worried parent </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2640"> <div class="index">38.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2640" title="">11:38 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>So if young girls have sex, and most of the sex is with an older male (who is presumably more responsible if he is older), the answer is to give contraceptives to the younger, less responsible half of the equation? But the older male gets to do whatever? What happened to protect the younger one? Why is the younger half of the equation burdened with respnsibility? </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Puzzled </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2646"> <div class="index">39.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2646" title="">11:43 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>To Steph12-</p> <p>When doing things like drugs or sex, where there are strong urges involved, the availability of safe methods has little to do with the eventual decision. A drug user will decide to use, and if there are clean needles, great, if not, whatever. Likewise, young people will have sex, if there are condoms, great, if not, oh well.</p> <p>When I was in HS I bought a pack of condoms hoping I would “get lucky” and not have to be unsafe. I didn’t want to get stuck in a situation where I would “have” to have sex (at that age, how could you miss an opportunity??) and be unprepared. </p> <p>I’ll admit, that was good forethought, but it would be a shame to deny young people the opportunities to engage in the same ability to think ahead. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Marc </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2656"> <div class="index">40.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2656" title="">12:00 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Sounds like this is a pretty volatile topic.<br/> I think the upshot is - that our kids need supervision, information (about sex, etc.), and direction….and that a lot of them are left on their own, to make their own decisions, and it’s only ‘after the fact’ that the adults in these kids lives finally wake up. There are just too many horrible things in our world which lie in wait for a vulnerable kid. Parents wake up!!! </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Greear </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2672"> <div class="index">41.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2672" title="">12:28 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>The abstinence only people have their heads in the sand. I remember seeing a documentary about a town in Texas where they were taught under the Bush administration the abstinence only curriculum and the schools were barred from talking about diseases, pregnancy, etc with the students. The town ended up having the highest STD and pregnancy rates in the country among teenage girls.</p> <p>I consider myself lucky. My mother was a nurse and I learned the facts about my body and sex at a young age. We talked about oral sex and dating and peer pressure and how if you’re too embarrassed to talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it. Did I lose my virginity at a young age? No. Did I get pregnant? No. Did I get an STD? No. Study after study shows the more women and girls are informed about their bodies (and boys too), the more they will take control of their own lives and will not have sex at a young age, nor will they get pregnant at a young age. And in the off chance they do, they are more likely to use a form of birth control.</p> <p>It’s not about morality or religion, it’s about respecting your child enough to give them all the tools necessary to make informed decisions! If you care so much about their lives, THIS is reality. THESE are the issues in the world today! Wake up and gain perspective! </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Leanne </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2676"> <div class="index">42.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2676" title="">12:30 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>In response to #15:</p> <p>They had a study come out last year of teens who signed pledges saying they would wait until marriage to have sex. The scientists then returned a few years later and matched their findings against a group of teens who hadn’t signed pledges. </p> <p>The number of sexuality active teens in both groups were almost identical. </p> <p>ABSTINENCE ONLY PROGRAMS DO NOT WORK. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Leanne </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2687"> <div class="index">43.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2687" title="">12:54 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>This is in response to the post # 38 above-why are the young girls who are being courted by older men supposed to be responsible for birth control. I will tell you one thing that my mom told me after we had the talk. Just remember, women carry the burden of sex. They are the ones who get pregnant and then have to make a decision, men do not. So if you don’t want to make that decision-adoption, etc, then you need to make the first decision-protect yourself, because he won’t.</p> <p>I hate to say this, but that was a very wise thing and she was completely right. Not all men are irresponsible, but some are and unfortunately not all of us find out who the irresponsible ones are until it is too late.</p> <p>This is about protecting our girls, plain and simple. Don’t they deserve to be protected? Let them know how to protect themselves because in the end, they are the only ones who live with the decision and consequence. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by JH </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2689"> <div class="index">44.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2689" title="">12:56 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I went to a very mixed Junior HS (black,white,hispanic and asian) Sex was HAPPENING PEOPLE. Not just with the poor kids, or just with the rich kids. It was happening with ALL of the kids at varying degrees. It is the age where you first start to think about it. By then most girls are having periods and boys are in puberty. I think the birth control pill issue is a SAD reality but it can also bring about “best practices” with regard to sex. When I was that age (in 1990)people were having sex with no condoms, no b/c pills and many paid the price for it. Disease, babies,abortions,etc. It has taken many years for my Generation to get the message to have safe sex. Maybe these kids we learn to be more responsible before bad things can happen to them. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by SYB </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2707"> <div class="index">45.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2707" title="">1:33 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Parents (and policymakers) need to start seeing reality for what it is rather than what they want it to be. The ideal is not always the real and that pig-headed mode of thinking is quite destructive to society.</p> <p>How many parents out there think their model children aren’t having sex? I’ll bet you a large portion of them who “aren’t” actually are blowing off school and getting high behind the strip mall across the street yet are STILL able to bring home the same passing/failing/whatever grades. I’m in my late 20s - was a model student and yes, I did some bad things, but I also was lucky not to get pregnant and I respected the gravity of the disrupting the environment my immigrant parents worked so hard to give me. And I’ll tell you, most of the kids I knew who were drinking and doing drugs in high school weren’t necessarily the ones having sex. I’m sure research can prove otherwise, but my point is there isn’t necessarily a tangible correlation that you can see when you are in that scenario - everyone is the same so stop pushing it on the “lower-income family kids” or the “bad kids who drink.” Kids are kids and kids are curious and horny.</p> <p>Carla #5 - you say parents/you have a right to know. Well given that right, how open are you to handling what you may eventually know? The statements you put forth in your comment sound fairly set and judgmental. Haven’t you see the movies where the parents who behave like you are the ones SOOOO shocked that little Susie got knocked up at 14? You aren’t ever going to know everything about your kid, just as your parents didn’t know everything about you when you were growing up. I grew up in a fairly hands-off household and yes, I am very close to my family, but not everyone works that way. The key is to foster the sort of environment where you know (and accept) that you won’t be privy to every aspect of your children’s lives; to trust them to come to you when necessary; teach them that the oversexed atmosphere of today’s media is cheap (without preaching!); and to instill the notion proper judgment without driving them away. Your children can only learn by making mistakes but let them make the smaller ones first so that when the big ones come, they can avoid them.</p> <p>That being said, I’ve got to say parenting today is a lot more difficult than ever, coming from an observer. I can’t even handle being around teenagers in a department store and I don’t look that much older than they do. So good luck to you parents out there. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by LL in DC </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2713"> <div class="index">46.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2713" title="">1:43 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Education is critical- regarding sex education information should focus on STI’s pregnancy, physical development and of course information on prevention of STI’s, pregnancy. The information provided should be thought provoking and allow our kids to make decisions based upon as much information as possible. Access to information and resources, like birth control and condoms is necessary. As a physician, I have treated many 13 year olds for STI’s from well to do suburbs. Many who are not engaging in intercourse are engaging in oral sex because they believe it is “safer” and a remarkable number report having multiple partners. I encourage children to talk to their parents. I cannot tell parents and often have to lie to them about what is going on with their child.<br/> This shouldn’t be shocking though because we all went through similar stages during our own growth and development- what I find so different now is younger and younger girls try to look older and sexier then I recall my friends and I being at their same ages. Many of my friends had intercourse by the time they were 15 and the peer pressure was intense. Some of my friends lied about it so they wouldn’t have to deal with the “shame”. Same with drugs and alcohol.<br/> It is NOT an inner city problem, authoritarian forbidding of the behavior will not prevent it, nor will gross condemnation without discussion or explanation help.<br/> We raise our children providing the best we can for them. We hope they become thoughtful, happy successful adults, why don’t we provide them with all the tools? </p> <p><cite>— Posted by a </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2729"> <div class="index">47.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2729" title="">2:20 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Picture any of us in 7th grade, barely able to rememeber which schedule I am following today? Is it A day, B Day? Do I have Gym, or Art today? Hmmmmmmm,,, Oh Yeah, mustn’t forget to take my Pill… I can’t see it happening regulary. Should Mom add that to their get ready for school routine?<br/> And by the way, the Pill doesn’t stop STDs. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by minuetone </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2778"> <div class="index">48.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2778" title="">4:06 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>This is not a new problem. Historically, women were married and expected to produce children in their early teens. The vast array of rules in religious tracts from the past several thousand years point to an ongoing problem with young people wanting to have sex, and that was before the media “scandalized the world” with depictions of sex. </p> <p>For most complex issues we have decided to give people free access to information and allowed them to make their own choices. If such an approach is acceptable with something as important as national leaders and the economy, certainly that’s OK with personal sexual decisions? </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Will </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-2900"> <div class="index">49.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 23rd,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-2900" title="">11:31 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Thank you #47, Mr. minuetone, for that astute observation. Perhaps YOU should teach sex ed as you clearly have figured out that birth control doesn’t stop STDs. They can’t get much passed you, now can they?</p> <p>I knew lots of girls experimenting in 7th grade when I was in 7th grade. They could have used condoms AND the pill…but no one thought about even discussing that 25 years ago. I wonder what the reprecussions were for my classmates who got pregnant? </p> <p><cite>— Posted by DW </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-3726"> <div class="index">50.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 26th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-3726" title="">2:22 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I’m not sure even what to say, but after reading the article and the comments above, I am a bit “shocked”. I am only 22 and I remember first hearing about kids in my class engaging in sexual activities when I was in 8th or 9th grade. I have a brother who is 10 in the fifth grade and I just can’t imagine him even thinking about sex. I know that’s silly. But I, an attractive woman, have been engaged for a year to a man I’ve been dating for 4 years and neither of us have EVER had sex. It is possible and satisfying for people to wait to have sex. I agree that if a kid wants to do it, they will find some way to do it. But if a parent takes an active role in their child’s life, it is possible for that child to at least wait until they are old enough and mature enough to make such an important decision. Because one thing that has not increased in adolecents is their maturity levels. Go to any mall on a Friday night to find proof of this. Kids that young aren’t old enough to know HOW to make those decisions. That’s where parents come in. My mother and I have always been extremely open about the topic of sex. She doesn’t poo-poo it. She simply says that she is so glad that she and my dad waited, that it was the very best decision. My mother’s active role in my life was a HUGE factor in me waiting til I am married to have sex. </p> <p>And yes, I know some parents CANNOT be very involved with their children for very legitmate reasons, but the number of those parents is very small in comparison to the number of parents who could but just won’t… </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Lisa </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-4277"> <div class="index">51.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> October 30th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-4277" title="">7:10 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Tara-</p> <p>This announcement seems evidence of the reactive nature of educational systems. Given the option, they seem to select hysterical reaction over thoughtful response every time. While the decision is questionable at best, it’s the reactive process that bodes poorly for adolescent health. A proactive, long-term, risk-avoidance prevention intervention would be ideal. </p> <p>Thanks.</p> <p>Andrew<br/> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://www.andrewrobinsonsblog.com/" rel="nofollow">www.andrewrobinsonsblog.com</a> </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Andrew Robinson </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-6129"> <div class="index">52.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> November 8th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-6129" title="">11:21 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>This is ridiculous! Kids that young should NOT be having sex and they CAN control it. It’s shows like The OC and The Hills and whatever on MTV that are trying to normalize promiscuous sex. By giving children birth control you’re only teaching them that it is ok to be promiscuous and that they can have fun without paying the price or dealing with the consequences.</p> <p>THINK PEOPLE! </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Karen </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-8920"> <div class="index">53.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> November 27th,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-8920" title="">3:15 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>I am floored at the comments of these young people. Here they are Steph12 and Brittany Gray Age-14 telling us adults no, birth control isn’t the answer for kids it’s abstinance and as adults we are telling them it’s ok do what ever feels good to you. This is crap. I applaud the young generation who are thinking logically about their circumstances and know that the best way to not get pregnant is to not have sex! </p> <p><cite>— Posted by LB </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-14612"> <div class="index">54.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> December 31st,<br> 2007<br> <a href="#comment-14612" title="">12:36 am</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>im a 14 yr old girl with a almost 9mth old baby i think teachers and other ppl should talk to there stupnts/ kids bout sex and stuff in my middle school there is only 5 virgans though 4 8th graders and 1 6ths in high school everyone is mostly having sex and a bunch of preagnt girls are there to</p> <p>oh and ps just cuz your duaghter is a goody good never have sex you think thats wrong so was i and look at me nowio hang out with only the pot heads and drunks and its not even my chocie every one is even the ones that look so sweet</p> <p>peace </p> <p><cite>— Posted by amrah </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-19963"> <div class="index">55.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> January 21st,<br> 2008<br> <a href="#comment-19963" title="">12:43 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>the most scary part of the Maine school decision is that it feels it can dispense medication without a parent’s consent. When does it end? Shall they also start giving ADD-type meds to kids? Forcing evaluations on kids they don’t totally understand and who don’t fit the traditional “normal” guidelines? Why do we bother to have children these days if we’re just going to turn them over the State? </p> <p>By the way, I am born, raised & still live in Maine. While there is a percentage of of the population having sex, most of these kids have good heads on their shoulders - immature heads, but they will grow to be good adults - if they are allowed to live as kids now. Contraception is not the answer! </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Stephanie </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-24750"> <div class="index">56.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> February 7th,<br> 2008<br> <a href="#comment-24750" title="">4:20 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Let the children decide. You can try to influence them, guide them in the right direction, but it is all that you can do. Make them safe somehow. I highly disagree with birth control as a whole. I don’t think it is right to take it for myself, but that is my view for myself alone. Everyone should be able to decide for themselves. This isn’t a Christian nation, not everyone believes as one person does. I have a great respect to those who do manage to keep their vows and not until marriage. It isn’t for me though. I am a nineteen year old pagan who practices the old celtic ways, including those for Beltane. That is my choice. I don’t judge people based something as natural as this. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Adrienne </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-27296"> <div class="index">57.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> February 15th,<br> 2008<br> <a href="#comment-27296" title="">3:32 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Advice to Parents of Teens: </p> <p> Please don’t do what my mom did when I was 14 (late 1990’s). As a nurse and sex educator (!), she had always been very open and honest about sex - in a clinical sense, of course. She showed me slides of STD’s, encouraged me to be abstinent and feigned a casual attitude about birth control. </p> <p>Then, one day, my best friend and I were in the mall and decided to buy a condom from a machine - just to see what it would look like. The one we purchased was actually quite ridiculous - I think it was pina colada flavored. After we examined it and giggled hilariously, I stuffed it into my pocket - totally forgetting about it - and we had pizza. Later, when my mom was doing my laundry - she found the condom and FREAKED OUT! Despite her rational explanations of birth control, she became totally angry at me, didn’t believe me that I wasn’t having sex (I wasn’t even close at that point!), and told me that if other people saw me with this they would think that I was a slut. </p> <p>Needless to say, that was the last conversation we ever had about sex. Luckily, for me, I had enough sex education at school that by the time I was ready to start sleeping with my boyfriend (18 years old), I insisted that I be on birth control for three months beforehand (to even out my cycle) AND that we always use condoms. I thank the wonderful doctors at Planned Parenthood for stepping in and providing the kind of information I needed to keep myself safe and healthy. Thank you! </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Kate </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-27927"> <div class="index">58.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> February 18th,<br> 2008<br> <a href="#comment-27927" title="">3:57 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>We are all forgetting something here. We are chastising the young girl who, once pregnant, is usually left alone to bear the responsibility and social alienation of her condition. </p> <p>What about the young boys? Instead of arguing about abstinence vs. birth control, which have become the responsibility of the woman according to the article, why not educate these young MEN about safe and responsible sex? Boys, who can be the sexual aggressor at a young age, need to learn about carrying condoms, std’s and the reality of young fatherhood. Just because the girl is the one who shows doesn’t mean it didn’t take two to make that decision.</p> <p>Aside from that, as a twentysomething product of an affluent suburb, I can share that young sexual activity inevitably occurs across all income levels (the affluent tend to have better damage control, though). Time to shatter these stereotypes and offer contraception to the kids who need it. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by Anna </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-28052"> <div class="index">59.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> February 18th,<br> 2008<br> <a href="#comment-28052" title="">11:39 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>LB (#53), I find it a little ridiculous that 14 year olds are adopting such judgmental and oversimplified views of sex, sexuality, and desire. I absolutely think that young people should be aware of STDS and the “consequences” of sex, but I also think schools should be empowering young people to make their own healthy, well-informed decisions about their bodies. Brittney Gray-14, I’m glad abstinence is the right choice for you, and that you believe that it’s your best option; at the same time, it might not be the best choice for everyone, especially in mid to late teenage years. I’m not saying “do whatever feels good,” but taking into account that kids are going to do it. We may as well keep them safe and informed. A good way to do that? Not to stigmatize their actions.</p> <p>Kudos to those who make decisions that are right for them — whether this means waiting until marriage or making a healthy decision at another point in time about when to become sexually active. I don’t think it’s fantastic that these young people are having sex, but if they’re going to, I applaud the school and its administrators for taking care of them. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by S.W. </cite></p> </div> </li> <li class="clearfix" id="comment-28739"> <div class="index">60.</div> <div class="commentmetadata"> February 22nd,<br> 2008<br> <a href="#comment-28739" title="">8:12 pm</a> </div> <div class="comment"> <p>Parents word of advice don’t just be the parent, be their friend. I am 20, my Mom was both. In sex areas she has always been my friend. She knows everything and always has. She says she knows too much, haha. I was never afraid to tell her anything, because I knew that she wouldn’t get on to me, she’d talk to me like a friend, help me make the right decisions. She was smart, that’s how she got in. My Dad has always been shut out, because he gets angry, doesn’t listen, says you shouldn’t do that, and so on. My friends who had parents like him had sex in middle school. Unprotected sex, because no one educated them or was there to help them make the right decisions. It’s sad, the way a lot of parents treat their kids, because they are kids. That’s the wrong attitude. They’re startng to feel more like an adult, because they’re growing. This is probably why some of the girls in the study thought it was illegal for them to buy condoms under the age of 16. It’s good that there are doctors out there and confidentionality, because parents freak out. If you want your kids to make educated decisions and wait for sex until their older, then you have to help them, be there, talk to them, and they will. And if they decide to be sexually active anyway, don’t get mad, talk to them about safe sex, and help them. My Mom did that, which is probably why I had sex at almost 18 and am still with that person. And ya’ll are freaking out about birth control being administrated to them? That’s good. Most parents don’t talk to their kids, which is why they end up having some form of sex or worse unprotected sex. Just because you say no, doesn’t mean we’re going to listen, I mean come on. Sex needs to be the “safe” zone, not the I said no zone. Parents feel they have the right to know everything, but they don’t. I told my Mom everything because I felt safe doing it, I never told my Dad anything because he freaks out and tried to control me. Alot of parents are like him, which is why their kids keep secrets and probably have sex in middle school. Atleast this way there’s a chance it’ll be protected. Theyre doing it anyway, just because protection is made ready available doesn’t mean it’ll increase them having sex, because it won’t. Just their education or maybe safer sex practices for those who are sexually active. How can that be bad? Not everyone is lucky enough to have a good parent. There has to be something else, I wish there was for my friens. A lot got STDs or pregnant. My bestfriend and I had great relationship with ours moms, in the same way. We both had various forms of protection made available by our moms for whenever we were ready or wanted or whatever. My bestfriend chose to have sex early, but it was protected. She didn’t have sex all the time. I had it all available to by my Mom and I waited. Who knows what’ll happen, don’t just assume it’s wrong and they’ll go sex crazy. I mean their sex crazy enough. So this long and Im probably repeating myself and I forgot whatever point I was trying to make, so uh bye. </p> <p><cite>— Posted by T. 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The road to better health is paved with the small decisions we make every day. It's about the choices we make when we buy groceries, drive our cars and hang out with our kids. That's the focus of Well, The Times's new health blog. Join columnist Tara Parker-Pope as she sifts through medical research and expert opinions for practical advice to help readers take control of their health and live well every day. You can reach Ms. Parker-Pope at <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/mailto:well@nytimes.com">well@nytimes.com</a>.</p></div></div> <div class="side_tool"><h4 class="left">Monthly Archives</h4> <div class="selector"> <select name="archive_chrono" onchange="goToURL2(this); this.selectedIndex=this.options[0]"> <option class="archiveform_option" value="">Select Month</option> <option value="/2008/02/01">February 2008</option> <option value="/2008/01/02">January 2008</option> <option value="/2007/12/03">December 2007</option> <option value="/2007/11/01">November 2007</option> <option value="/2007/10/01">October 2007</option> <option value="/2007/09/21">September 2007</option> </select> </div></div><div class="side_tool"><h4>What We're Talking About</h4> <div id="categorylist"> <ul> <li class="odd"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20080225003104/http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/category/aging-well/">Aging Well</a></li> <li class="even"><a 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