Enam Belas Adab Istri terhadap Suami

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Terdapat hak dan"> <section class="m-t-10"> <div class="container arsip"> <div class="content-710"> <div class="s-title"><h1>Enam Belas Adab Istri terhadap Suami</h1></div> <div class="s-info"> Kamis, 21 Februari 2019 20:15 <span class="right"><a href="/web/20190531130414/http://www.nu.or.id/post/75/tasawuf-dan-akhlak/" class="cat"><i class=""></i> Tasawuf/Akhlak</a></span> <p class="sosmed"> <strong>Bagikan </strong> <input type="hidden" name="realURL" id="realURL" value="http://www.nu.or.id/post/read/102767/enam-belas-adab-istri-terhadap-suami"/> <input type="hidden" name="shortURL" id="shortURL" value=""/> <input type="hidden" name="sosDesc" id="sosDesc" value="Istri dan suami adalah dua insan yang saling mengikatkan diri melalui perkawinan. Terdapat hak dan"/> <input type="hidden" name="sosName" id="sosName" value="Enam Belas Adab Istri terhadap Suami"/> <input type="hidden" name="sosPic" id="sosPic" value="http://www.nu.or.id/o-client/nu_or_id/pictures/post/mid/15507530125c6e9cf462bf3.jpg"/> <input type="hidden" name="sosCap" id="sosCap" value=" Ilustrasi (via Pinterest) "/> <a href="javascript:share_fb()" class="af-icon farounded fb"><i class="fa fa-facebook"></i></a> <a href="javascript:share_tw()" class="af-icon farounded tw"><i class="fa fa-twitter"></i></a> <a href="" class="af-icon farounded gp"><i class="fa fa-google-plus"></i></a> </p> </div> <div id="konten_detil" style="z-index:2;"> <div> <div class="s-foto" style="position: relative;"> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20190531130414im_/http://www.nu.or.id/o-client/nu_or_id/pictures/post/big/15507530125c6e9cf462bf3.jpg" alt="Enam Belas Adab Istri terhadap Suami" style="width:100%;"> <div style="position: absolute;background:#ccc;width:100%;bottom:0px;padding:10px;opacity: 0.8;filter: alpha(opacity=80);">Ilustrasi (via Pinterest)</div> </div> <div class="s-post"><div>Istri dan suami adalah dua insan yang saling mengikatkan diri melalui perkawinan. Terdapat hak dan kewajiban bagi masing-masing termasuk yang berkaitan dengan adab. Imam Al-Ghazali dalam kitabnya berjudul <span style="font-style: italic;">Al-Adab fid Din </span>dalam <span style="font-style: italic;">Majmu'ah Rasail al-Imam al-Ghazali </span>(Kairo, Al-Maktabah At-Taufiqiyyah, halaman 442) menjelaskan tentang adab istri terhadap suami sebagai berikut:<br></div><div><br></div><div style="text-align: right; "><span style="font-size: 18px;">آداب المرأة مع زوجها: دوام الحياء منه، وقلة المماراة له، ولزوم الطاعة لأمره، والسكون عند كلامه، والحفظ له في غيبته، وترك الخيانة في ماله، وطيب الرائحة، وتعهد الفم ونظافة الثوب، وإظهار القناعة، واستعمال الشفقة، ودوام الزينة، وإكرام أهله وقرابته، ورؤية حاله بالفضل، وقبول فعله بالشكر، وإظهار الحب له عند القرب منه، وإظهار السرور عند الرؤية له..</span></div><div style="text-align: right; "><br></div><div>Artinya: “Adab istri terhadap suami, yakni: selalu merasa malu, tidak banyak mendebat, senantiasa taat atas perintahnya, diam ketika suami sedang berbicara, menjaga kehormatan suami ketika ia sedang pergi, tidak berkiahanat dalam menjaga harta suami, menjaga badan tetap berbau harum, mulut berbau harum dan berpakaian bersih, menampakkan qana’ah, menampilkan sikap belas kasih, selalu berhias, memuliakan kerabat dan keluarga suami, melihat kenyataan suami dengan keutamaan, menerima hasil kerja suami dengan rasa syukur, menampakkan rasa cinta kepada suami kala berada di dekatnya, menampakkan rasa gembira di kala melihat suami.” </div><div><br></div><blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Baca juga:</span><br></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">• <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190531130414/https://www.nu.or.id/post/read/102403/dua-belas-adab-suami-terhadap-istri " target="_blank">Dua Belas Adab Suami terhadap Istri</a></span><br></span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 12px;">• <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20190531130414/https://www.nu.or.id/post/read/93237/lima-tanda-suami-saleh-menurut-perempuan " target="_blank">Lima Tanda Suami Saleh Menurut Perempuan</a></span></blockquote><div>Dari kutipan di atas dapat diuraikan keenam belas adab istri terhadap suami sebagai berikut:<br></div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Pertama</span>, senantiasa merasa malu terhadap suami. Seorang istri hendaknya tetap mempertahankan rasa malu kepada suami meski sudah bukan pengantin baru lagi. Tentu saja malu dalam konteks ini adalah rasa malu dalam arti positif, seperti malu ketika bau badannya menimbulkan ketidaknyamanan; malu berpenampilan tidak menarik; atau malu berperilaku buruk, dan sebagainya. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Kedua</span>, tidak banyak mendebat. Perdebatan yang berkepanjangan berpotensi menimbulkan ketegangan dan konflik. Seorang istri hendaknya tidak mendebat suami dalam hal-hal yang tidak perlu. Namun demikian diskusi serius dengan suami untuk mencari solusi terbaik dari suatu permasalahan tidak sebaiknya dihindari. Hal ini justru baik dalam rangka bermusyawarah. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Ketiga</span>, senantiasa taat atas perintahnya. Taat pada suami adalah kewajiban. Namun demikian apabila perintah suami bertentangan dengan syara’, seorang istri dapat mengajukan keberatan dengan tetap mengedepankan kesopanan dan cara yang baik dalam menolaknya. Atau, istri dapat mengajukan alternatif lain dari perintah suami. <br></div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Keempat</span>, diam ketika suami sedang berbicara. Seorang istri hendaknya mendengarkan dengan baik apa yang sedang dikatakan suaminya. Jika ia bermaksud memotong pembicaraannya sebaiknya meminta persetujuannya terlebih dahulu. Jika ternyata suami tidak memberi ijin, sebaiknya istri diam dan tidak memprotes secara keras demi mencegah timbulnya ketegangan. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Kelima</span>, menjaga kehormatan suami ketika ia sedang pergi. Seorang istri hendaknya tetap berperilaku baik meski suami sedang tak ada dirumah. Dalam situasi seperti ini seorang istri hendaknya tidak memanfaatkan kesempatan untuk bersenang-senang menuruti hawa nafsu, misalnya dengan pergaulan yang sangat longgar. Hal ini sangat tidak baik sebab bisa berpotensi menimbulkan fitnah. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Keenam</span>, tidak berkiahanat dalam menjaga harta suami. Seorang istri adalah pihak yang paling dipercaya suami untuk menjaga hartanya. Kepercayaan ini tidak sebaiknya dikhianati dengan penghambur-hamburan yang tidak perlu. Apalagi jika harta itu digunakan untuk kemaskiatan yang sudah pasti akan menimbulkan persoalan yang tidak baik di kemudian hari. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Ketujuh</span>, menjaga badan tetap berbau harum. Seorang istri hendaknya menjaga bau badannya sedemikian rupa sehingga suami merasa nyaman di sampingnya. Namun demikian hal ini tidak berarti seorang istri harus mandi parfum. Mandi secara teratur dengan air dan sabun mandi yang wangi merupakan cara paling mudah untuk menjaga badan tetap segar. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Kedelapan</span>, mulut berbau segar dan berpakaian bersih. Tidak hanya terkait dengan bau badan, tetapi juga bau mulut hendaknya menjadi perhatian istri, yakni selalu segar. Demikian pula pakaian yang ia kenakan sehari-hari juga harus bersih. Semua ini adalah agar mereka sama-sama nyaman dalam berinteraksi baik di dalam maupun di luar rumah. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Kesembilan</span>, menampakkan qana’ah. Seorang istri hendaknya tidak menuntut lebih dari apa yang mampu diberikan suami kepadanya. Ia hendaknya menysukuri berapa pun jumlah atau wujud pemberiannya. Namun demikian hal ini tidak berarti seorang istri tidak boleh mendorong dan mendoakan suami agar lebih maju lagi dalam bidang ekonomi atau bidang lainnya. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Kesepuluh</span>, menampilkan sikap belas kasih. Seorang istri hendaknya bersikap belas kasih kepada suami atas semua jerih payahnya. Jangan sampai ia bersikap kasar atau bahkan menindas suami yang kondisinya sedang lemah, seperti sakit. Apalagi dengan sengaja menyakiti perasaannya dengan hinaan yang merendahkan dirinya. Bagaimanapun ia harus mengasihi suaminya dengan sepenuh hati. . </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Kesebelas</span>, selalu berhias. Seorang istri hendaknya selalu tampil menarik di depan suami. Banyak manfaat dari hal ini, misalnya suami menjadi lebih betah di rumah dan tidak terdorong untuk mencari-cari alasan keluar rumah. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Kedua belas</span>, memuliakan kerabat dan keluarga suami. Seorang istri hendaknya selalu sadar bahwa suami umumnya memiliki hubungan emosional yang kuat dengan para kerabat dan keluarganya. Oleh karena itu seorang istri hendaknya dapat memperlakukan kerabat dan keluarga suami dengan respek tanpa mempersoalkan status sosial mereka. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Ketiga belas</span>, melihat kenyataan suami dengan keutamaan. Apapun keadaan suami, seorang isri hendaknya dapat menerimanya sebagai kenyataan. Jika suami keadaannya baik, seorang istri hendaknya mensyukurinya sebagai kenikmatan. Jika sebaliknya, seorang istri hendaknya bersikap sabar. Syukur dan sabar merupakan keutamaan dari Allah <span style="font-style: italic;">subhanahu wa ta’ala</span>. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Keempat belas</span>, menerima hasil kerja suami dengan rasa syukur. Berapa pun penghasilan suami, seorang istri hendaknya dapat mensyukuri. Dengan mensyukuri nikmat-Nya, Allah akan menambahkan dengan berbagai kenikmatan yang lain. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Kelima belas</span>, menampakkan rasa cinta kepada suami kala berada di dekatnya. Seorang istri hendaknya senantiasa menunjukkan rasa cintanya kepada suami terlebih saat berada di dekatnya. Hal ini karena salah satu tujuan dari pembentukan rumah tangga adalah untuk membentuk keluarga yang saling mencintai. </div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Keenam belas</span>, menampakkan rasa gembira di kala melihat suami. Kapan saja dan di mana saja seorang istri bertemu dengan suaminya, hendaknya ia selalu menunjukkan rasa gembiranya. Hal ini amat penting karena umumnya suami merasa gembira ketika melihat istrinya bergembira. </div><div><br></div><div>Demikianlah keenam belas adab istri terhadap suami sebagaimana dinasihatkan Imam Al-Ghazali. Semakin banyak adab terhadap suami yang bisa dilaksanakan, semakin tinggi derajat kesalehan istri. Istri salehah adalah istri yang menjunjung tinggi nilai-nilai keadaban. 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