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“It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how li

<!doctype html><html class="no-js" lang="en" dir="ltr"> <head> <meta charset="utf-8"> <meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0, height=device-height, minimum-scale=1.0, maximum-scale=1.0"> <meta name="theme-color" content="#ffffff"> <title>“It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how li</title><meta name="description" content="Without education, the dying process is full of fear for caregivers. 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Read on for how to gain end of life knowledge..."><meta property="og:url" content="https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about/it-is-through-the-eyes-of-fear-that-we-react-to-the-unknown-of-how-life-ends"> <meta property="og:site_name" content="BK Books "><meta name="twitter:card" content="summary"><meta name="twitter:title" content="“It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”"> <meta name="twitter:description" content="Knowledge is important for the person dying because they are processing their life on many levels. It is important for the watchers because it is our final opportunity to connect, to have closure. To say goodbye..."><meta name="twitter:image" content="https://bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/articles/It_is_through_the_eyes_of_fear_that_we_react_to_the_unknown_of_how_life_ends_b86b6add-d6a1-4b73-9813-d3de8b362f78.jpg?v=1740523876&width=1200"> <meta name="twitter:image:alt" content="“It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”"> <script type="application/ld+json">{"@context":"http:\/\/schema.org\/","@id":"\/blogs\/something-to-think-about\/it-is-through-the-eyes-of-fear-that-we-react-to-the-unknown-of-how-life-ends#article","@type":"Article","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/bkbooks.com\/blogs\/something-to-think-about\/it-is-through-the-eyes-of-fear-that-we-react-to-the-unknown-of-how-life-ends"},"articleBody":"Fear moves on fleet feet, distorting all it touches; exaggerating, permeating, penetrating, overshadowing all. I think that sentence explains most of our reactions to approaching death.\nOur fear interprets what we see. Fear that our special person is not being properly taken care of. Fear within ourselves that we have no control over what is unfolding. Fear that death will come no matter what we do or however much we don’t want it to come. It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends.\nKnowledge reduces fear. Even a little bit of knowledge helps ease and often neutralize the fear we all bring to the dying experience. Fear intermingled with sadness literally blurs our perception of what is occurring and hinders our ability to participate in one of the most important life experiences. \nKnowledge is important for the person dying because they are processing their life on many levels. It is important for the watchers because it is our final opportunity to connect, to have closure. To say goodbye.\nIt’s now time for hospice and end of life doulas to enter. They bring the knowledge, guidance, support, and comfort during the challenging, fearful, and sad time.\n90% of end of life work is education, providing knowledge of the normal, natural dying process AND applying that information to the person dying.\nKnowledge gives the opportunity to recognize that nothing abnormal is happening.  Sad – very sad – but not abnormal. Knowledge is knowing what is “normal” and what is not. Knowledge is knowing how to say goodbye and when.\nKnowledge won’t remove all the fear brought to the bedside but it can reduce it. What knowledge CAN do is open the door to a sacred experience for all involved.\nSomething More… about “It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”\nTo help demystify the dying process, end of life doulas, hospices and home health agencies show my short film, NEW RULES for End of Life Care to family caregivers. Faith communities will show the film to their congregants and have a discussion afterwards. It is used as a marketing tool for agencies in outreach programs- “This is how we take care of our patients” and to educate new staff members. \nReview:\nNew Rules of End of Life Care\nIt has been wonderful. I am showing the DVD to as many people as I can including family members, friends, Church organizations such as grieving ministry, etc. Thank YOU for this awesome resource!  -Sr. Jeanne d'Arc Untz\n \n ","headline":"“It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”","description":"Knowledge is important for the person dying because they are processing their life on many levels. It is important for the watchers because it is our final opportunity to connect, to have closure. To say goodbye...","image":"https:\/\/bkbooks.com\/cdn\/shop\/articles\/It_is_through_the_eyes_of_fear_that_we_react_to_the_unknown_of_how_life_ends_b86b6add-d6a1-4b73-9813-d3de8b362f78.jpg?v=1740523876\u0026width=1920","datePublished":"2025-01-24T17:16:36-08:00","dateModified":"2025-02-25T23:00:03-08:00","author":{"@type":"Person","name":"Barbara Karnes, RN"},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"BK Books "}}</script><script type="application/ld+json"> { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [{ "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://bkbooks.com" },{ "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Something to Think About: a blog on end of life", "item": "https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Something to Think About: a blog on end of life", "item": "https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about/it-is-through-the-eyes-of-fear-that-we-react-to-the-unknown-of-how-life-ends" }] } </script> <link rel="preload" href="//bkbooks.com/cdn/fonts/asap/asap_n5.e43840e5b512a2758810281a90dc3274e1ab8c97.woff2?h1=Ymtib29rcy5jb20&h2=YmFyYmFyYWthcm5lc2Jvb2tzLmFjY291bnQubXlzaG9waWZ5LmNvbQ&hmac=bc3030f4adb23945bfdafa6eb4ed1dcc65fd0778d6369bdb344de2e9e45edd4d" as="font" type="font/woff2" crossorigin><link rel="preload" href="//bkbooks.com/cdn/fonts/asap/asap_n4.bbd5a7069d8fda6c6087204fae2b7f4dca87bf11.woff2?h1=Ymtib29rcy5jb20&h2=YmFyYmFyYWthcm5lc2Jvb2tzLmFjY291bnQubXlzaG9waWZ5LmNvbQ&hmac=7047b3b922ecd45d1a07dfa234f2a2d75aeeb133f450dacebc36912bfd5fb45d" as="font" type="font/woff2" crossorigin><style> /* Typography (heading) */ @font-face { font-family: Asap; 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href="/blogs/something-to-think-about">Something to Think About: a blog on end of life</a> </li> <li class="breadcrumb__item"> <span class="breadcrumb__link" aria-current="page">“It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”</span> </li> </ol> </nav><div class="article__image-wrapper article__image-wrapper--square"><img src="//bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/articles/It_is_through_the_eyes_of_fear_that_we_react_to_the_unknown_of_how_life_ends_b86b6add-d6a1-4b73-9813-d3de8b362f78.jpg?v=1740523876&amp;width=1500" alt="“It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”" srcset="//bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/articles/It_is_through_the_eyes_of_fear_that_we_react_to_the_unknown_of_how_life_ends_b86b6add-d6a1-4b73-9813-d3de8b362f78.jpg?v=1740523876&amp;width=200 200w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/articles/It_is_through_the_eyes_of_fear_that_we_react_to_the_unknown_of_how_life_ends_b86b6add-d6a1-4b73-9813-d3de8b362f78.jpg?v=1740523876&amp;width=300 300w, 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//bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/articles/It_is_through_the_eyes_of_fear_that_we_react_to_the_unknown_of_how_life_ends_b86b6add-d6a1-4b73-9813-d3de8b362f78.jpg?v=1740523876&amp;width=1400 1400w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/articles/It_is_through_the_eyes_of_fear_that_we_react_to_the_unknown_of_how_life_ends_b86b6add-d6a1-4b73-9813-d3de8b362f78.jpg?v=1740523876&amp;width=1500 1500w" width="1500" height="1257" sizes="(max-width: 740px) 100vw, 50vw" class="article__image" reveal="true"> </div><div class="article__header-content text-container"><a href="/blogs/something-to-think-about/tagged/caregiving-at-end-of-life" class="article__category heading heading--small">caregiving at end of life</a><h1 class="article__title heading h1">“It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”</h1><div class="article__excerpt text--large"><p><meta charset="utf-8"><span>Knowledge is important</span><span> for the person dying because they are processing their life on many levels. I</span><span>t is important</span><span> for the watchers because it is our final opportunity to connect, to have closure. To say goodbye...</span></p></div></div> </blog-post-header></div><div id="shopify-section-template--18254970028288__main" class="shopify-section shopify-section--main-article"><section> <div class="article"> <div class="article__main-part"><blog-post-navigation class="article__nav" style="--transform: 0.01"> <div class="container"> <div class="article__nav-wrapper"><a href="/blogs/something-to-think-about/should-we-look-for-a-hospice-house" class="article__nav-item article__nav-item--prev hidden-phone"> <span class="article__nav-arrow"><svg focusable="false" width="17" height="14" class="icon icon--nav-arrow-left icon--direction-aware " viewBox="0 0 17 14"> <path d="M17 7H2M8 1L2 7l6 6" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="1.7" fill="none"></path> </svg></span> <span class="article__nav-item-title hidden-tablet">Should we look for a hospice house?</span> </a><span class="article__nav-item article__nav-item--current"> <span class="article__nav-item-label text--strong hidden-pocket hidden-lap">Reading</span> <span class="article__nav-item-title">“It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”</span> <span class="square-separator square-separator--block"></span> <span class="article__reading-time">3 minutes</span> </span></div> </div> </blog-post-navigation><div class="container"> <div class="article__inner"><div class="article__info"><div class="article__meta"><span class="article__meta-item article__author">By Barbara Karnes, RN</span><time class="article__meta-item article__date">Feb 25, 2025</time><a href="#blog-post-590075396352-comments" data-smooth-scroll class="article__meta-item article__comments-count text--subdued link icon-text"><svg fill="none" focusable="false" width="18" height="17" class="icon icon--comment " viewBox="0 0 18 17"> <path d="M5 5.5H13" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="1.5" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"></path> <path d="M6 8.5H12" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="1.5" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"></path> <path d="M13 13V16L9 13H4C3 13 1 12 1 10V4C1 2 3 1 5 1H13C15 1 17 2 17 4V10C17 12 14.3333 12.8333 13 13Z" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="1.5" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"></path> </svg>0 comments</a></div><div class="article__tags"> <span class="article__tags-label heading heading--small">Tags</span> <ul class="article__tags-list list--unstyled" role="list"><li class="article__tags-item" role="listitem"> <a href="/blogs/something-to-think-about/tagged/caregiving-at-end-of-life" class="text--subdued link">caregiving at end of life</a> </li><li class="article__tags-item" role="listitem"> <a href="/blogs/something-to-think-about/tagged/end-of-life" class="text--subdued link">end of life</a> </li><li class="article__tags-item" role="listitem"> <a href="/blogs/something-to-think-about/tagged/end-of-life-doula" class="text--subdued link">end of life doula</a> </li><li class="article__tags-item" role="listitem"> <a href="/blogs/something-to-think-about/tagged/fear" class="text--subdued link">Fear</a> </li><li class="article__tags-item" role="listitem"> <a href="/blogs/something-to-think-about/tagged/hospice-care" class="text--subdued link">hospice care</a> </li><li class="article__tags-item" role="listitem"> <a href="/blogs/something-to-think-about/tagged/new-rules-for-end-of-life-care" class="text--subdued link">New Rules For End Of Life Care</a> </li></ul> </div><button type="button" is="share-toggle-button" share-url="https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about/it-is-through-the-eyes-of-fear-that-we-react-to-the-unknown-of-how-life-ends" share-title="“It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”" class="article__share text--subdued link hidden-tablet-and-up" aria-controls="mobile-share-buttons-template--18254970028288__main" aria-expanded="false">Share</button> <popover-content id="mobile-share-buttons-template--18254970028288__main" class="popover 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I think that sentence explains most of our reactions to approaching death.</span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span>Our fear interprets what we see. Fear that our special person is not being properly taken care of. Fear within ourselves that we have no control over what is unfolding. Fear that death will come no matter what we do or however much we don’t want it to come.</span><span> </span><span>It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends.</span></p> <p dir="ltr"><a href="https://bkbooks.com/products/knowledge-reduces-fear-a-resource-for-end-of-life-education"><span>Knowledge reduces fear</span></a><span>. Even a little bit of knowledge helps ease and often neutralize the fear we all bring to the dying experience. Fear intermingled with sadness literally blurs our perception of what is occurring and hinders our ability to participate in one of the most important life experiences. </span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span>Knowledge is important</span><span> for the person dying because they are processing their life on many levels. I</span><span>t is important</span><span> for the watchers because it is our final opportunity to connect, to have closure. To say goodbye.</span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span>It’s now time for hospice and end of life doulas to enter. They bring the knowledge, guidance, support, and comfort during the challenging, fearful, and sad time.</span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span>90% of end of life work is education, providing knowledge of the normal, natural </span><a href="https://bkbooks.com/products/end-of-life-guideline-series-a-compilation-of-barbara-karnes-booklets"><span>dying process</span></a><span> AND applying that information to the person dying.</span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span>Knowledge gives the opportunity to recognize that nothing abnormal is happening.  Sad – very sad – but not abnormal. Knowledge is knowing what is “normal” and what is not. Knowledge is knowing how to say goodbye and when.</span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span>Knowledge won’t remove all the fear brought to the bedside but it can reduce it. </span><span>What knowledge CAN do is open the</span><span> door to a sacred experience for all involved.</span><span><b></b></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span><span style="color: rgb(111, 168, 220);"><strong><em>Something More…</em></strong></span> about “</span><span>It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”</span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span>To help demystify the dying process, end of life doulas, hospices and home health agencies show my short film, </span><a href="https://bkbooks.com/products/new-rules-for-end-of-life-card-a-guide-on-the-stages-of-death"><span>NEW RULES for End of Life Care</span></a><span> to family caregivers. Faith communities will show the film to their congregants and have a discussion afterwards. It is used as a marketing tool for agencies in outreach programs- “This is how we take care of our patients” and to educate new staff members. </span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span>Review:</span></p> <h3 dir="ltr"><a href="https://bkbooks.com/products/new-rules-for-end-of-life-card-a-guide-on-the-stages-of-death"><span>New Rules of End of Life Care</span></a></h3> <p dir="ltr"><span>It has been wonderful. I am showing the DVD to as many people as I can including family members, friends, Church organizations such as grieving ministry, etc. </span><span>Thank YOU for this awesome resource!  -Sr. Jeanne d'Arc Untz</span></p> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <p> </p></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </section> </div><div id="shopify-section-template--18254970028288__design_pack_article_product_highlights_CVXWg8" class="shopify-section DP__article-linked-products DP__shift"> <style>#DP--template--18254970028288__design_pack_article_product_highlights_CVXWg8 { --dash-height: 25px; background: ; margin-bottom: 30px; margin-top: 30px;}#DP--template--18254970028288__design_pack_article_product_highlights_CVXWg8 .dsgn-pck__sizer { padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; width: 100%; max-width: px; flex-wrap: wrap;}#DP--template--18254970028288__design_pack_article_product_highlights_CVXWg8 .dsgn-pck__heading { margin: 0; margin-bottom: calc(3px + 2ex + 3px); color: #000000; line-height: var(--dp-g-heading-line-height, var(--dp-heading-line-height, calc(3px + 2ex + 3px))); 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} #DP--template--18254970028288__design_pack_article_product_highlights_CVXWg8 .dsgn-pck__product { flex-basis: 50%; } #DP--template--18254970028288__design_pack_article_product_highlights_CVXWg8 .dsgn-pck__product-image { height: auto; }}/* Landscape phones and down */@media (max-width: 480px) { #DP--template--18254970028288__design_pack_article_product_highlights_CVXWg8 .dsgn-pck__sizer { padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; }}</style><section id="DP--template--18254970028288__design_pack_article_product_highlights_CVXWg8" class="DP--template--18254970028288__design_pack_article_product_highlights_CVXWg8 dsgn-pck__article-product-links dsgn-pck__section"><div class="dsgn-pck__sizer"> <aside class="dsgn-pck__linked-products"><h2 class="dsgn-pck__heading dsgn-pck__justify-center">Related Products</h2><div class="dsgn-pck__linked-products-container dsgn-pck__flex dsgn-pck__justify-center"> <div class="dsgn-pck__product dsgn-pck__flex-item"> <a href="/products/knowledge-reduces-fear-a-resource-for-end-of-life-education"><img src="//bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/KnowledgeFC_463e4292-360d-4917-947c-9c4e1d961b3c.jpg?v=1731714136&amp;width=800" alt="Believing that knowledge reduces fear and that in our society there is considerable lack of knowledge about the normal, natural dying process, Barbara Karnes, RN writes weekly blog articles on end of life issues and answers questions or addresses comments submitted to her web site. As the number of articles increased so have requests for a printed collection of the easy to read articles, hence the compilations." srcset="//bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/KnowledgeFC_463e4292-360d-4917-947c-9c4e1d961b3c.jpg?v=1731714136&amp;width=180 180w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/KnowledgeFC_463e4292-360d-4917-947c-9c4e1d961b3c.jpg?v=1731714136&amp;width=360 360w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/KnowledgeFC_463e4292-360d-4917-947c-9c4e1d961b3c.jpg?v=1731714136&amp;width=540 540w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/KnowledgeFC_463e4292-360d-4917-947c-9c4e1d961b3c.jpg?v=1731714136&amp;width=720 720w" width="800" height="1018" class="dsgn-pck__product-image" sizes="(max-width: 480px) 50vw,(max-width: 767px) 50vw, 25vw"></a> <p class="dsgn-pck__product-title"> <a href="/products/knowledge-reduces-fear-a-resource-for-end-of-life-education"> Knowledge Reduces Fear: A Resource for End of Life Education </a> </p> <a class="dsgn-pck__product-link" href="/products/knowledge-reduces-fear-a-resource-for-end-of-life-education"> View Product </a> </div> <div class="dsgn-pck__product dsgn-pck__flex-item"> <a href="/products/end-of-life-guideline-series-a-compilation-of-barbara-karnes-booklets"><img src="//bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/EOL-Series-Cover_b5d5863c-2ccb-48f7-870b-9b33a24d9429.jpg?v=1731714150&amp;width=800" alt="End of Life Guideline Series informs people on how to live with a life-threatening illness, what to expect when someone is dying, what to do to help, managing pain, how to address the fear of death and dying and how to grieve.

" srcset="//bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/EOL-Series-Cover_b5d5863c-2ccb-48f7-870b-9b33a24d9429.jpg?v=1731714150&amp;width=180 180w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/EOL-Series-Cover_b5d5863c-2ccb-48f7-870b-9b33a24d9429.jpg?v=1731714150&amp;width=360 360w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/EOL-Series-Cover_b5d5863c-2ccb-48f7-870b-9b33a24d9429.jpg?v=1731714150&amp;width=540 540w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/EOL-Series-Cover_b5d5863c-2ccb-48f7-870b-9b33a24d9429.jpg?v=1731714150&amp;width=720 720w" width="800" height="1257" class="dsgn-pck__product-image" sizes="(max-width: 480px) 50vw,(max-width: 767px) 50vw, 25vw"></a> <p class="dsgn-pck__product-title"> <a href="/products/end-of-life-guideline-series-a-compilation-of-barbara-karnes-booklets"> End of Life Guideline Series: A Compilation of Barbara Karnes Booklets </a> </p> <a class="dsgn-pck__product-link" href="/products/end-of-life-guideline-series-a-compilation-of-barbara-karnes-booklets"> View Product </a> </div> <div class="dsgn-pck__product dsgn-pck__flex-item"> <a href="/products/new-rules-for-end-of-life-card-a-guide-on-the-stages-of-death"><img src="//bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/dvd-new-rules-for-end-of-life-care-dvd-kit-a-guide-on-the-stages-of-death-1_72e2a222-f72e-4bb1-8ff0-342fca86a2d9.jpg?v=1731714133&amp;width=800" alt="Barbara Karnes, RN created the multi award winning &quot;New Rules For End of Life Care&quot; an educational kit that teaches people how to care for their loved one during the end of their life and will give you the valuable information you need to understand the dying process. Has information that addresses the behavior changes as they pertain to food, sleep and withdrawal but pain management and the use of narcotics, addiction and overdosing. Booklets &quot;Gone From My Sight
&quot; and &quot;The Eleventh Hour&quot; included." srcset="//bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/dvd-new-rules-for-end-of-life-care-dvd-kit-a-guide-on-the-stages-of-death-1_72e2a222-f72e-4bb1-8ff0-342fca86a2d9.jpg?v=1731714133&amp;width=180 180w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/dvd-new-rules-for-end-of-life-care-dvd-kit-a-guide-on-the-stages-of-death-1_72e2a222-f72e-4bb1-8ff0-342fca86a2d9.jpg?v=1731714133&amp;width=360 360w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/dvd-new-rules-for-end-of-life-care-dvd-kit-a-guide-on-the-stages-of-death-1_72e2a222-f72e-4bb1-8ff0-342fca86a2d9.jpg?v=1731714133&amp;width=540 540w, //bkbooks.com/cdn/shop/products/dvd-new-rules-for-end-of-life-care-dvd-kit-a-guide-on-the-stages-of-death-1_72e2a222-f72e-4bb1-8ff0-342fca86a2d9.jpg?v=1731714133&amp;width=720 720w" width="800" height="1293" class="dsgn-pck__product-image" sizes="(max-width: 480px) 50vw,(max-width: 767px) 50vw, 25vw"></a> <p class="dsgn-pck__product-title"> <a href="/products/new-rules-for-end-of-life-card-a-guide-on-the-stages-of-death"> New Rules for End of Life Care DVD Kit: A Guide on the Stages of Death </a> </p> <a class="dsgn-pck__product-link" href="/products/new-rules-for-end-of-life-card-a-guide-on-the-stages-of-death"> View Product </a> </div> </div> </aside> </div></section> </div><div id="shopify-section-template--18254970028288__blog-post-prev-next" class="shopify-section shopify-section--blog-post-prev-next"><div class="article__prev-next vertical-breather vertical-breather--tight "> <div class="container"> <header class="section__header text-container"> <h2 class="heading h3">Continue reading</h2> </header> <div class="scroller"> <div class="scroller__inner"> <article-list class="article-list article-list--scrollable"><div class="article-item image-zoom"><a href="/blogs/something-to-think-about/should-we-look-for-a-hospice-house" class="article-item__image-container"><img 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