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jQuery('[id^="ei-grid-list-"]').show(); } window.onload = display_grid; </script>  <meta property="og:title" content="Freeloading cat deserves eviction"/> <meta property="og:type" content="article"/> <meta name="author" content="Andy Killebrew"/> <meta property="og:url" content="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://wfuogb.com/11131/opinion/freeloading-cat-deserves-eviction/"/> <meta property="og:image" content="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://wfuogb.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Image-1-482x900.jpg"/> <meta property="og:image:width" content="482"/> <meta property="og:image:height" content="900"/> <meta property="og:site_name" content="Old Gold & Black"/> <meta property="og:description" content="After giving considerable weight to the issue, I’ve reached a painful conclusion about my living situation: my cat, Chaz, needs to be evicted. While I initially thought that Chaz would be a welcome novelty during the monotony of a COVID-compromised school year, he’s growing into both a nuisance and terror. If he were literate, I..."/> <meta name="description" content="After giving considerable weight to the issue, I’ve reached a painful conclusion about my living situation: my cat, Chaz, needs to be evicted. While I initially thought that Chaz would be a welcome novelty during the monotony of a COVID-compromised school year, he’s growing into both a nuisance and terror. 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.altheader-left, #altheader, .altheader-menu { height: 100px; } .altheader-bar1 { height: 60px; } .altheader-bar2 .altheader-right-social { display:none; } .alt_mobile_menu_icon { padding-top: 28px; }#altheader-searchbox .mobile-menu a:hover, .mobile-menu a:hover { background: #000 !important; color: #fff !important; } .mobile-menu a { border-bottom-color: #000; background: #fff !important; color: #000 !important; } .mobile-search { background: #fff; color: #000; }.sno-menu-side { color: #000000 !important; }.alt_mobile_menu_icon .mobile_menu_icon_bar { background-color: #000000; }.headerimage, #header, .headerlarge, .headermedium, .headersmall { max-width: 609px; margin: 0 auto; } .headerlarge { max-width:609px; } .headermedium { max-width: 800px; } .headersmall { max-width: 479px; }#slidemenu .border-spacer { margin-top: 1px; }@media only screen and (min-width: 980px) { .altheader-menu {display: none; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 979px) { .altheader-left { width:auto; } }.altheader-bar1 { background: #fff; }#topnavbar .social-border, #altheader .social-border, .altheader-top .social-border, #header .social-border { border-radius: 20px; }.footerright .social-border { border-radius: 0px; }#sno_longform #altheader-searchbox { background: #fff !important; color: #000 !important; } #sno_longform #altheader-searchbox a { background: #fff !important; color: #000 !important; } #sno_longform #altheader-searchbox a:hover { color: #fff !important; background: #000 !important; } #sno_longform .mobile-menu a { border-bottom-color: !important; } #sno_longform #slidemenu { border-right: 1px solid !important; } #sno_longform .mobile-search { color: !important; background: !important; } .hover_title { font-family: Georgia, serif; font-weight: 500; }#sno_hoverbar .hoverheader { background: none !important; }#sno_hoverbar .hoverheader { background: #ffffff !important; }#content .sharing-icon { border-radius: 0px; margin-right: 1px; margin-bottom: 1px; width: 90px; } #sno_longform .lf_headerleft { background: ; color: ; } #sno_longform .altheader-menu { background: ; color: ; }@media only screen and (max-width: 800px) { .sharing-mobile-hide { display:none; } }.innerbackgroundwrap .sharing-top .sno-email { font-size:23px; padding-bottom: 6px; } .innerbackgroundwrap .sharing-top .sno-print { font-size:21px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 4px; } .innerbackgroundwrap .sharing-top .sno-facebook { font-size:23px; padding-bottom: 6px; } .innerbackgroundwrap .sharing-top .sno-twitter { font-size:23px; padding-bottom: 6px;} .innerbackgroundwrap .sharing-top .sno-pinterest { font-size:23px; padding: 4px 0px 3px; vertical-align: top;} .innerbackgroundwrap .sharing-top .sno-tumblr { font-size:18px; line-height: 21px; vertical-align: top;} .innerbackgroundwrap .sharing-top .sno-google-plus { font-size:18px; line-height:21px; padding: 5px 0px 4px 0px; } .innerbackgroundwrap .sharing-top .sno-reddit { font-size:20px; line-height:21px; } .innerbackgroundwrap .sharing-top .sno-comments { font-size:20px; line-height:26px; padding-top: 2px; }#sno_hoverbar .sno-comments { display:none; }#sno_hoverbar .sno-facebook, #sno_hoverbar .sno-twitter, #sno_hoverbar .sno-pinterest, #sno_hoverbar .sno-google-plus, #sno_hoverbar .sno-tumblr, #sno_hoverbar .sno-reddit { display:none; }#sno_hoverbar .lf_headerleft { width: 250px; float: none !important; margin: 0 auto; background: none !important; } .hover_title {display: none; }.hover_title { background: unset !important; }#sno_hoverbar .sno-email:hover { background: #fff; color: #1f385c; } #sno_hoverbar .sno-print:hover { background: #fff; color: #546b8b; } #sno_hoverbar .sno-facebook:hover { background: #fff; color: #3b5998; } #sno_hoverbar .sno-twitter:hover { background: #fff; color: #4099ff; } #sno_hoverbar .sno-pinterest:hover { background: #fff; color: #c92228; } #sno_hoverbar .sno-tumblr:hover { background: #fff; color: #36465d; } #sno_hoverbar .sno-google-plus:hover { background: #fff; color: #dc4a38; } #sno_hoverbar .sno-reddit:hover { background: #fff; color: #00bf8f; } #sno_hoverbar .sno-comments:hover { background: #fff; color: #2e7061; }.innerbackground .sno-email:hover { background: #fff; color: #1f385c; } .innerbackground .sno-print:hover { background: #fff; color: #546b8b; } .innerbackground .sno-facebook:hover { background: #fff; color: #3b5998; } .innerbackground .sno-twitter:hover { background: #fff; color: #4099ff; } .innerbackground .sno-pinterest:hover { background: #fff; color: #c92228; } .innerbackground .sno-tumblr:hover { background: #fff; color: #36465d; } .innerbackground .sno-google-plus:hover { background: #fff; color: #dc4a38; } .innerbackground .sno-reddit:hover { background: #fff; color: #00bf8f; } .innerbackground .sno-comments:hover { background: #fff; color: #2e7061; }#sno_hoverbar .sharing-icon{ opacity: .8; } #sno_hoverbar .sharing-icon:hover { opacity: 1; }.innerbackground .sharing-icon{ opacity: .8; } .innerbackground .sharing-icon:hover { opacity: 1; }@media only screen and (max-width: 800px) { #progress-bar { right: 100px !important; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 850px) { #sno_hoverbar .socialmedia { display: none; } .hover_title { height: 40px; background: #ffffff;} #sno_hoverbar .lf_headerleft { background: #ffffff;} #back-top { background: #ffffff; } } .slideshow-enlarge:hover { background: #e6b800 !important; } .photo-enlarge:hover { background: #e6b800 !important; } .time-wrapper { } .widgetwrap { margin-bottom: 20px; }.hp_top_left, .hp_top_center { width: calc(50% - 10px) !important; }@media only screen and (max-width: 800px) {#homepage .hp_top_left, #homepage .hp_top_center { width: calc(50% - 10px) !important; }}@media only screen and (max-width: 600px) {#homepage .hp_top_left, #homepage .hp_top_center { width: 100% !important; margin-right: 0; }}.hp_top_left { margin-right: 20px !important; }.hp_bottom_left { width: calc(33.333% - 13.333333333333px); margin-right: 20px; }.hp_bottom_center { width: calc(33.333% - 13.333333333333px); margin-right: 20px; }.hp_bottom_right { width: calc(33.333% - 13.333333333333px); }#content { padding-top: 20px; }.hp_extra { margin-right: 20px; }.extracolumn-padding {padding: 20px;}.fullscreencatwrap, #wrap, #upperwrap, #topnavbar, #navbar, #navbarbackground, #subnavbar, #subnavbarbackground, #header, #breakingnews, #newsticker3-demo { max-width:1100px; } .newsticker3-jcarousellite, .newsticker3-jcarousellite .info { max-width: 1100px; width: 1100px; }.innerbackground { width: calc(100% - 0px); max-width: calc(100% - 0px); }#content { width: 100%; max-width:1100px; }.hp_wide_extra { width: calc(100% - 340px); max-width:760px; }#homepagewide { width: 100%; }#footer { max-width: 1100px;}#leaderboard, #footerboard { max-width: 1100px; }#homepage { width: 100%; }@media only screen and (min-width: 980px) { li.bottom-row, li.top-row { margin-right: 21px; } }.jump-to-header-logo { background: none; }.jump-to-header-logo:hover { border-bottom: 1px solid #ddd; }.jump-to-header-logo, .jump-to-header-logo:hover {border: none; }#upperwrap-outer, #upperwrap { background: #ffffff; }.continue-overlay-link { border: 1px solid #ffffff; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 12px; }.continue-overlay-link:hover { background: #ffffff; color: #000000; }.continue-link { border: 1px solid #e5e5e5; background: #fbfbfb; color: #777777; letter-spacing: 2px; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 10px; }.continue-link:hover { background: #161616; color: #ffffff; }.view-all-text { border: 1px solid #e5e5e5; background: #fbfbfb; color: #777777; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 14px; }.view-all-text:hover { background: #161616; color: #ffffff; }.view-all-grid-text { border: 1px solid #e5e5e5; background: #fbfbfb; color: #777777; letter-spacing: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; font-size: 14px; }.view-all-grid-text:hover { background: #161616; color: #ffffff; }#breakingnews { text-align: center; font-variant: small-caps; } #content .sharing-icon { border-radius: 5px; margin-right: 5px; margin-bottom: 5px; width: 30px; }.innerbackgroundwrap, #fullwrap { background-color: #ffffff}h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 { font-family: Georgia, serif !important; font-weight: 400; } a, a:visited, a h3, h3 a, .widgetheadline a, a .widgetheadline { color: #e6b800; }a:hover, a:hover h3, a:hover .widgetheadline, h3 a:hover, .widgetheadline a:hover { color: #e6b800; text-decoration: underline; }a h3.homeheadline, a.homeheadline, a.headline, #content h1 a, .widgetheadline .headline, .storyheadline a, .searchheadline, h2.searchheadline, h2.searchheadline a, h2.catprofile a, #searchapge h2, #catpage h2, .maingridheadline, .homeheadline { color: #000000 !important; font-family: Georgia, serif !important; font-weight: 500; }.topboxsmallwide h3, topboxsmall h3, .desc h3, .relatedtitle {font-family: Georgia, serif !important; font-weight: 500; }a:hover h3.homeheadline { color: #000000 !important; text-decoration:underline !important; }#homepagefull h3.gridfallback, .bottom-row-blocks h3, .top-row-blocks h3 { font-family: Georgia, serif !important; font-weight: 500; }.storyheadline { font-family: Georgia, serif !important; font-weight: 500; }#storypage h1 {font-size: 2.6em !important;text-align: center !important;}#storyrails h1 { font-size: 2.6em !important; text-align: center; }#classic_story h1 { font-size: 2.6em !important;text-align: center !important;}.innerbackgroundwrap { background: #fff !important; }.sno-search-close{color: #fff; background: #000000; }#sno_teaserbar { top: -80px; } .sno_teaserbar #stb-container { background: #fff !important; } .sno_teaserbar_home #stb-container { background: #fff !important; } .sno_teaserbar .stb_left:hover, .sno_teaserbar .stb_right:hover { color: #023597; } .sno_teaserbar_home .stb_left:hover, .sno_teaserbar_home .stb_right:hover { color: #023597; } .photo-container, .caption-container, .slideshow-caption-container a, .caption-container a { color: #fff !important; } .remodal-story-image, .remodal-story-image .flexslider, #sfi-email { background: #000 !important; } #sfi-email {border: 1px solid #fff; } #sfi_submit_email, #sfi_cancel_email { color: #000; } .sfi-title a, .sfi-title a:hover { color: #fff; } .sfi-title a:hover { border-bottom: 1px solid #fff;} .sfi-right:hover, .sfi-left:hover { color: #e6b800;} #storyrails #content { margin: 0 auto; }@media only screen and (min-width: 1100px) { .full-width .postarea { width: 900px;} }#navbar { overflow-y: hidden; } .catlist-tile { border-radius: 5px; } .catlist-tile-inner { border: 0px solid #dddddd; border-radius: 5px; } .catlist-tile img { border-radius: 5px 5px 0 0; } .catlist-tile-media-video, .catlist-tile-media-photo { border-radius: 5px 5px 0 0; } .catlist-tile-media-photo { height: 231.11111111111px; max-height: 231.11111111111px; overflow: hidden; } .catlist-tile-textarea.sno-center-v-list { left: 15px; right: 15px; } .catlist_tiles_wrap .sno-infinite-scroll-button { margin-bottom: 20px; } .catlist-tile-media-photo { background: #dddddd; } .catlist-tile-media-photo img { object-fit: contain; } .catlist-tile-inner { padding-left: 15px; padding-right: 15px; } .catlist-tile-media-photo, .catlist-tile-media-video { margin-left: -15px; width: calc(100% + 15px + 15px); } @media only screen and (min-width: 980px) { .catlist_tiles_wrap div:nth-child(3n) { margin-right: 0; } .catlist-tile { width: calc((100% / 3) - 13.333333333333px); margin-right: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; background: #efefef; } } @media only screen and (min-width: 600px) and (max-width: 979px) { .catlist-tile { width: calc((100% / 2) - 13.333333333333px); margin-right: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; background: #efefef; } .catlist_tiles_wrap div:nth-child(2n) { margin-right: 0; } } @media only screen and (max-width: 599px) { .catlist-tile { width: 100%; margin-bottom: 20px; background: #efefef; } } #catpage .catlist-tile h2 { font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.35em; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-top: 15px; text-align: center; } #catpage .catlist-tile .catlist-meta { text-align: center; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 15px; } #catpage .catlist-tile .catlist-deck { text-align: center; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.35em; margin-bottom: px; font-style: normal; } #catpage .catlist-tile .catlist-teaser, #catpage .catlist-tile .catlist-teaser p { font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.25; margin-bottom: px; } .catlist-tile ul.snotags { text-align: center; margin-bottom: px; } .catlist-tile .continue { margin-bottom: px; } @media only screen and (min-width: 980px) and (max-width: ) { #catpage #content { padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 20px; width: calc(100% - (2 * 20px)); } }#catpage .profilepreviewbox, #catpage .categorypreviewbox { background: #eeeeee !important;border: 1px solid #ffffff !important; } .catlist_fullwidth .catlist-panel-inner { background: #ffffff; } .catlist_fullwidth.catlist-panel { padding-top: 30px; padding-bottom: 30px; background: #ffffff; } .catlist_fullwidth.catlist-panel { border-bottom: 1px solid #eeeeee; } .catlist_fullwidth .catlist-panel-media { float: right; width: 33%; max-width: 33%; margin-left: 15px; background: #ffffff; } .catlist_fullwidth .catlist-panel-media { height: 242px; max-height: 242px; } .catlist_fullwidth .catlist-video-wrap { position: absolute; left: 0; right: 0; top: 50%; transform: translateY(-50%); } .catlist_fullwidth .catlist-panel-media img { object-fit: contain; } .catlist_fullwidth .catlist-textarea-with-media { float: left; width: calc(67% - 15px - 80px); padding-left: 40px; padding-right: 40px; } .catlist_fullwidth .catlist-textarea { padding-left: 80px; padding-right: 80px; } #catpage .catlist_fullwidth.catlist-panel h2 { font-size: 28px; line-height: 1.35em; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 15px; } #catpage .catlist_fullwidth.catlist-panel .catlist-deck { text-align: center; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.35em; margin-bottom: 15px; font-style: normal; } #catpage .catlist_fullwidth.catlist-panel .catlist-meta { text-align: center; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 15px; } #catpage .catlist_fullwidth.catlist-panel .catlist-teaser { font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.25; margin-bottom: 15px; text-align: left; } .catlist_fullwidth.catlist-panel ul.snotags { text-align: center; } .catlist_fullwidth.catlist-panel .continue { text-align: center; margin-bottom: 15px; } .catlist_fullwidth .catlist-textarea-with-media { position: absolute; left: 0; top: 50%; transform: translateY(-50%); } #catpage .postarea.catlist_with_sidebar { width: calc(100% - 320px - 20px); } .catlist_sidebar .catlist-panel-inner { background: #ffffff; } .catlist_sidebar.catlist-panel { padding-top: 30px; padding-bottom: 30px; background: #ffffff; } .category-pagination { background: #ffffff; } .catlist_sidebar.catlist-panel { border-bottom: 1px solid #eeeeee; } .catlist_sidebar .catlist-panel-media { float: right; width: 250px; max-width: 250px; margin-left: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; background: #ffffff; } .catlist-textarea .catlist-teaser { float: left; } .catlist_sidebar .catlist-panel-media { height: 166.66666666667px; max-height: 166.66666666667px; } .catlist_sidebar .catlist-video-wrap { position: absolute; left: 0; right: 0; top: 50%; transform: translateY(-50%); } .catlist_sidebar .catlist-panel-media img { object-fit: contain; } .catlist_sidebar .catlist-textarea-with-media { /* float: left; */ /* width: calc(470px - 15px - 0px - 0px); */ /* width: 470px; */ } .catlist_sidebar .catlist-textarea { padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; } #catpage .catlist_sidebar.catlist-panel h2 { font-size: 28px; line-height: 1.35em; margin-bottom: 15px; } #catpage .catlist_sidebar.catlist-panel .catlist-deck { font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.35em; margin-bottom: 15px; font-style: normal; } #catpage .catlist_sidebar.catlist-panel .catlist-meta { text-align: left; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 15px; } #catpage .catlist_sidebar.catlist-panel .catlist-teaser { font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.25; margin-bottom: 15px; } .catlist_sidebar.catlist-panel ul.snotags { text-align: left; } .catlist_sidebar.catlist-panel .continue { text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px; }</style> </head> <body data-rsssl="1" class="sno-animate-active"><div class="topnavwrap"> <div id="topnavbar"> <div class="search-spacer"></div> <div class="topnavbarleft social-classic"> <style>.topnavbarleft { padding: 0px; width:auto; }</style><a target="_blank" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://wfuogb.com/feed/rss/"><div class="alt-header-social social-border sno-rss dashicons dashicons-rss"><span class="icon-hidden-text">RSS Feed</span></div></a><a target="_blank" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://www.instagram.com/wfu_ogb/"> <div class="alt-header-social-fa social-border sno-instagram fa fa-instagram"><span class="icon-hidden-text">Instagram</span></div> </a><a target="_blank" 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class="sno-submit-search-button sno-search fa fa-search"><span class="icon-hidden-text">Submit Search</span></button> </div> <label for="s992" class="assistive-text">Search</label> <input type="text" class="field s" name="s" id="s992" placeholder="Search" onfocus="this.placeholder = ''" onblur="this.placeholder = 'Search'"/> <input type="submit" class="submit" name="submit" id="searchsubmit992" style="display:none;" value="Search"/> </form> </div> </div> <div class="clear"></div> </div><div id="sno_mobile_menu"><ul class="slidemenu mobile-menu"><li class="mobile-search-side"><div class="sno-side-menu side-close-icon foundation-icons fi-x"><span class="icon-hidden-text">Close Menu</span></div><form method="get" class="searchform-alt-left" action="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://wfuogb.com/"> <label for="s-alt-left" class="assistive-text">Search</label> <input type="text" class="field" name="s" id="s-alt-left" placeholder="Search" onfocus="this.placeholder = ''" 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tag">Columns</a></li><li class="blockscategory"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://wfuogb.com/category/opinion/" rel="category tag">Opinion</a></li></ul><div role="main"><h1 class="storyheadline">Freeloading cat deserves eviction</h1><div class="storydeckbottom"></div><div class="storydeck"><p>Lazy and mean cat should seek gainful employment or find alternative living space</p></div><div class="storyshadow"><div class="photowrap"><a class="modal-photo photooverlay" data-story-id="11131" data-photo-id="11128" href="#photo"><img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://wfuogb.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Image-1-482x900.jpg" alt="Idiotic+chunky+cat%2C+Chaz%2C+hasn%E2%80%99t+even+left+the+apartment+in+weeks+%28Andy+Killebrew+%2F+Old+Gold+%26+Black%29" style="width:100%" class="catboxphoto feature-image"/></a><div class="modal-photo photo-enlarge elusive el-icon-zoom-in" data-story-id="11131" data-photo-id="11128"></div></div><div class="clear"></div><div class="captionboxmittop"><p class="photocaption">Idiotic chunky cat, Chaz, hasn’t even left the apartment in weeks (Andy Killebrew / Old Gold & Black)</p></div></div><div class="clear"></div><div class="permalinkphotobox"></div><div class="storydetails"><p><span class="storybyline"> <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://wfuogb.com/staff_profile/andy-killebrew/" class="creditline">Andy Killebrew</a>, Assistant Life Editor</span><br/><span class="storydate"><span class="time-wrapper">November 5, 2020</span></span></p></div><div class="sharing sharing-top" data-story-id="11131"><a class="commentscroll" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://wfuogb.com/11131/opinion/freeloading-cat-deserves-eviction/#comments " title="Jump to Comments"><div class="sharing-icon sno-comments fa fa-comments-o sno-dark sharing-mobile-hide"><span class="icon-hidden-text">Jump to Comments</span></div></a><a class="modal-share" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwfuogb.com%2F11131%2Fopinion%2Ffreeloading-cat-deserves-eviction%2F" title="Share on Facebook" target="_blank"><div class="sharing-icon sharing-mobile sno-facebook dashicons dashicons-facebook-alt sno-dark sharing-mobile-hide"><span class="icon-hidden-text">Share on Facebook</span></div></a><a class="modal-share" href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Freeloading cat deserves eviction&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwfuogb.com%2F%3Fp%3D11131" title="Tweet This Story" target="_blank"><div class="sharing-icon sharing-mobile sno-twitter dashicons dashicons-twitter sno-dark sharing-mobile-hide"><span class="icon-hidden-text">Share on Twitter</span></div></a><a href="#" onclick="return false;" class="modal-share share-email"><div class="sharing-icon sno-email dashicons dashicons-email-alt sno-dark sharing-mobile-hide"><span class="icon-hidden-text">Share via Email</span></div></a><a rel="nofollow" href="//web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://wfuogb.com/11131/opinion/freeloading-cat-deserves-eviction/?print=true"><div class="sharing-icon sno-print fa fa-print sno-dark sharing-mobile-hide"><span class="icon-hidden-text">Print</span></div></a></div><span class="storycontent"><p>After giving considerable weight to the issue, I’ve reached a painful conclusion about my living situation: my cat, Chaz, needs to be evicted. While I initially thought that Chaz would be a welcome novelty during the monotony of a COVID-compromised school year, he’s growing into both a nuisance and terror. If he were literate, I would be severely worried about my safety returning home after publishing this piece. His behavior is problematic and he has made it fully apparent that he refuses to consider reform; something must change.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p>First, I need Chaz to seek gainful employment, or at least find some productive way to fill his days. The rest of his housemates, though afflicted by senioritis, at least have school responsibilities to take care of during the day. Chaz, on the other hand, refuses to claw his way out of the crushing grip of inertia. He spends the majority of his time laying by the door or under the table, slowly blinking his eyes or sleeping for extended periods of time. He has full access to the Internet (even with the glacial pace of Spectrum), but hasn’t explored a single employment option, much less submitted any applications. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by his free loading one bit and hasn’t contributed a single penny to subsidize his cost of living.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <blockquote><p>First, I need Chaz to seek gainful employment, or at least find some productive way to fill his days.”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p></blockquote> <p>Chaz also takes up an obnoxious amount of space in the townhouse. After a long day, all I want to do is sink into the maws of the couch, but Chaz frequently occupies an entire half(!) of the sofa. His fur and fat balloon out around him, turning him into a disc of obstruction that offers only snarky gazes for loungers looking to sit with him. My arms simply don’t have the strength to continually lift him from his perch, so he can dominate the living room furniture at will.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p>He could help this issue by dieting or exercise, but Chaz categorically refuses to work out consistently. I’ve seen him move when he hears a can of food cracking open or a bag of treats rustling, so I know that he has athletic potential. However, he simply refuses to commit to his physical fitness. Even if I can convince him to do sit ups to swipe my hands off his belly or to run wind sprints in pursuit of his laser, he won’t take the initiative to take care of himself independently. It’s painful to watch him succumb to obesity, but I simply don’t have the disposable time to force him into shape.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p>I don’t receive any payment for cleaning up around the place, but Chaz might have you believe otherwise. He spreads food around his bowl, doesn’t change his own litter, and sheds all over the place. This cat can’t even keep himself cleansed; he frequently smells of excrement and breathes absolute fire. It honestly sickens me that he doesn’t have the dignity to meet basic hygienic standards, but I’ve yet to see him prioritize cleanliness.</p> <p>I’m losing blood and sleep over Chaz. His claws have inflicted significant damage on my hands and his presence has gained ample ground in my nightmares. I’ve tried to help him, but he’s obstinately proved over and over that improvement is out of the question. For the sake of my sanity and productivity I’m going to have to serve him papers soon. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> </span><div class="clear"></div></div><div class="aboutwriter"><div class="aboutwritertitle">About the Writer</div>  <div class="storycreditboxwide"><a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://wfuogb.com/staff_profile/andy-killebrew/"><div class="sc_title">Andy Killebrew, </div></a><div class="sc_bio" style="width:100%;"><p></p><div class="clear"></div></div></div><div class="clear"></div></div></div><div class="clear"></div><div id="commentswrap"><div class="widgetwrap"><div class="titlewrap cursorpoint" id="commentsbox"><div tabindex="0" role="button" aria-expanded="true" class="commenttoggle fa fa-minus-square"></div><div class="widgettitle-nonsno">19 Comments</div></div><div id="commentsbody" class="widgetbody" style="display:block;">  <div id="commentblock"> <p id="comments"><b>19 Responses to “Freeloading cat deserves eviction”</b></p> <ol class="commentlist"> <li class="alt" id="comment-943"> nicole on November 5th, 2020 1:03 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/2356ba37333e3ef9fbe262d387005f14?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/2356ba37333e3ef9fbe262d387005f14?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Lol, who is the person write like this..Its harsh in so many words….I have a cat whose named is Rico the tabby orange cat…Yes he is in the pain the butt how living with me….sounds like yours cat, you are complaining it…why would u eviction on your own cat but the cat is an animal not human..???</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-944"> Sue Rusey on November 5th, 2020 1:22 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/69db27bc85dfc453791ddcbaddc3b60d?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/69db27bc85dfc453791ddcbaddc3b60d?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Cat is almost certainly ill! Get him to vet! I think this was written tougue in cheek, but I am serious! If he’s obese he’s got to lose the weight! If you truly don’t have time to help him lose it, get him to a no-kill rescue or put a notice on pet rescuers online, there are rescuers who specialize in helping animals lose weight…and it is especially hard for cats, they aren’t going to go walking with you! It has to be done slowly and carefully. Good luck!</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-945"> sandy vanden hoogen on November 5th, 2020 1:41 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/92aa83f913dbee93f5242226db84194c?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/92aa83f913dbee93f5242226db84194c?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Is this just a story or are u really getting rid of the cat Because once have a pet it’s for life Just curious I would give your precious furbaby a home</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-946"> Shayne on November 5th, 2020 1:55 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/7d0e75d3e4d189cd664420599e20e2b6?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/7d0e75d3e4d189cd664420599e20e2b6?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Frist he can’t work he a cat he may old and sick. Omg we take care of them by cleaning the box out feeding them and they eat sleep and shit. The cat did nothing wrong he just playful when ur gone put him in a cage woth food water and cat pan and just clean it out. When ur home let him run and around the house.</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-947"> Claudine on November 5th, 2020 2:38 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/60889802137f69e214cca2a0aceb3bcb?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/60889802137f69e214cca2a0aceb3bcb?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Dear Mr. Andy Killebrew.</p> <p>I understand your feelings, my neighbors act the same way ( stay home, go boating on weekends, ) not working, a bunch of free loaders,, you and myself knows who are feeding them.</p> <p>I love your article, enjoyed so much reading it! Love your lazy cat, and oh! So pretty.<br/> Cordially.<br/> Claudine</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-948"> Susan on November 5th, 2020 3:39 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/53bc100e65705b21564e9ce342f24a94?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/53bc100e65705b21564e9ce342f24a94?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>I know how you’re feeling completely! I have 2 freeloaders.they want to sleep all day & run after each all night. And believe me, they let you know if they can see the bottom of the food bowl, and if they feel their box needs cleaned!</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-949"> Chaz the Cat on November 5th, 2020 5:29 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/1140c8674ab49ede1f0b931dcc8b51e8?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/1140c8674ab49ede1f0b931dcc8b51e8?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>duhhh duhhhh duh duhhh mwuahhhhhh duh duh duhhhhhh</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-950"> Mari Sellars on November 5th, 2020 5:35 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/5dd6324151f023b0a1ad5b0d376095f6?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/5dd6324151f023b0a1ad5b0d376095f6?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Engage her. Get down on the floor and pull a string or shoelace for her to chase and pull. She’s probably bored and wants contact.</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-951"> Johnny G on November 5th, 2020 5:40 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/bfb3861723bd6a488ed95e49921f13c3?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/bfb3861723bd6a488ed95e49921f13c3?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Bless your Heart. The cat is clearly smarter than you.</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-952"> Ann Marie moore on November 5th, 2020 6:00 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/a16bf732e31d69c621545daf52f4e898?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/a16bf732e31d69c621545daf52f4e898?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>They should throw you right in prison</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-953"> Shawna Strait on November 5th, 2020 6:32 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/49a9fbc263dc1542d5173d01db66696c?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/49a9fbc263dc1542d5173d01db66696c?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Sir! I believe (from the look on Chaz’s face) that you may indeed be the freeloader. He definately looks offended by your lack of respect. From that photo you have posted I can tell that it is his duty to keep the couch in check. No one wants a couch to get up and walk away, where would you all sit? Who would purchase a new one? Chaz looks like he takes his responsibilities seriously, you Sir,should respect that!<br/> Fantastic article! Thank you for lightening my mood and gorgeous kitty. Cherish him while you have him. I miss mine terribly.</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-954"> Michaelann on November 5th, 2020 6:48 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/26c79299ecf4084566963a34439c5b6b?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/26c79299ecf4084566963a34439c5b6b?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>I loved,loved,loved this article and can hardly wait for your follow-up ones.</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-956"> Markus Minanov on November 6th, 2020 11:44 am <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/e8e5d46a277c2781cf236ed8a9b42d7c?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/e8e5d46a277c2781cf236ed8a9b42d7c?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Andy,</p> <p>It appears more people than I thought struggle with sarcasm.</p> <p>Markus (Chaz’s owner)</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-959"> Martha Nemo on November 6th, 2020 3:00 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/5f3c6da850c933b89006a87df5403eaa?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/5f3c6da850c933b89006a87df5403eaa?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>LOL. Love your story. Love the cat. Trade you my husband. He’s been a pain for 45 years. LOL. Like your cat. Honestly wouldn’t trade him for the world.</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-960"> Deborah Holohan on November 6th, 2020 5:32 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/fd05c9e08934685946cea6218dbb722e?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/fd05c9e08934685946cea6218dbb722e?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Dear Freeloading cat deserves eviction,<br/> It seems obvious that Chaz is in charge. Have you spoken to him to let him know how you feel? Before you allowed him to move in, did you set conditions that had to be met otherwise his living with you would not continue? It is well known that cats feel superior to humans. Heck, cats feel superior to everything. You may be sentenced to a life with this selfish, yet attractive feline. He may grow on you after a while. I foresee little else in your future.</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-961"> Debbie Tidwell on November 6th, 2020 8:55 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/f224da6d09aaa4db104aad898a9f21bb?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/f224da6d09aaa4db104aad898a9f21bb?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Oh lord, Chaz has cousins and they live with m.j e. I feel sure it was the way the family raised them. The cousin’s absolutely love sitting in the toilet(lid down why would they want a paw wet), and unroll every piece of innocent toilet paper their furry little paws can get on. They then have the audacity to simply throw their tails up in tge air and leave the toilet paper piled fold after fold on itself waiting for me to actually need to use said toilet paper. I had to buy another couch because the comfy one I have has been taken up by the cousins and their friend, the dog. AKA Lily. One of the cousins even goes so far as pulling my bowl away from me as I eat my well deserved chocolate ice cream. You sir are not alone. We need to all get together and evict this entire family.<br/> Thank you for making me smile and realize I’m not in this alone.</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-962"> Patty on November 6th, 2020 9:46 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/a48400e8389287a6f74a812b84f4119c?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/a48400e8389287a6f74a812b84f4119c?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Oh this is hilarious. You sir are real good.. I love your story. And the fact that most of these dimwitted don’t see the humor in this is even more hilarious. I too have a “Chaz”. Her name is Lucy and she is the Princess in this house. And I love her to death. Keep up the great work </p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="" id="comment-964"> Marilyn Tucker on November 7th, 2020 11:14 am <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/f38981ce28e271df3d01f457d2b2074a?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/f38981ce28e271df3d01f457d2b2074a?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>Thank you for the laugh. I would love to share with a friend, as she has such a freeloader named Olaf. Our girl just lies around and sheds … everywhere. When she is not sleeping she is on the nearest table or on my keyboard. I agree with Michaelann….looking for follow ups.</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> <li class="alt" id="comment-965"> Maureen F on November 9th, 2020 9:55 pm <div class="commenttext"> <div style="float:left;margin:0px 10px 5px 0px;"><img alt="" src="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/42bfbc85fcf7b1c7ea237520a8a68c90?s=70&d=mm&r=g" srcset="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830im_/https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/42bfbc85fcf7b1c7ea237520a8a68c90?s=140&d=mm&r=g 2x" class="avatar avatar-70 photo" height="70" width="70" loading="lazy"/></div><p>My daughter sent in family chat we had to tell her about Snowballs accident last week LOL (lots of love) good laugh before we remembered our own fat sofa sitter my husband…. JK talking about snowball. RIP.</p> <div style="clear:both;"></div> </div> </li> </ol> <p id="respond"> If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://en.gravatar.com/">gravatar</a>.</p> <form action="https://web.archive.org/web/20201112151830/https://wfuogb.com/wp-comments-post.php" method="post" id="commentform"> <p><label for="name">Name (required)</label><br/> <input type="text" name="author" id="name" value="" size="50" tabindex="1"/></p> <p><label for="email">Email Address (required)</label><br/> <input type="text" name="email" id="email" value="" size="50" tabindex="2"/></p>  <div style="display:none"><label for="spam_stopper">Spam Control Field. 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